Lia's recent activity
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Comment on ASCII art generator: Create ASCII art for websites and marketing from images, video, live cam, and templates in ~design
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Comment on I made a website with free and low-cost resources for web development, game development, privacy, graphics, small web, etc in ~tech
Lia Link ParentYay! I'm pleased that the channel got a mention. I've watched some of this guy's tutorials that I don't even have the need for, just because I enjoy his personality and admire how well he explains...Yay! I'm pleased that the channel got a mention. I've watched some of this guy's tutorials that I don't even have the need for, just because I enjoy his personality and admire how well he explains things in a no-nonsense way and his ability to teach complex techniques with clarity. :)
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Comment on I made a website with free and low-cost resources for web development, game development, privacy, graphics, small web, etc in ~tech
Lia LinkThanks, I love this site and its calming layout/design! I recommend adding DaVinci Resolve on the video/audio section! The free version is almost fully featured in a user-friendly way - only...Thanks, I love this site and its calming layout/design!
I recommend adding DaVinci Resolve on the video/audio section! The free version is almost fully featured in a user-friendly way - only serious pro users need the few features that come with the paid version and the license is a one time, reasonably affordable fee. (The company's business model is to make money by selling hardware and the software is more a perk that attracts users to the ecosystem.)
I just learned that they even added photo editing features for the new version! Which blows my mind because colour grading for video is so good that I always secretly hoped I could process still photos with it. Haven't checked it out yet but it's very promising.
While I'm at it, here's a YT channel with extremely professional tutorials for Resolve. I was kind of stunned to find material like this available for free! I guess a good quality non-shitty piece of software attracts good hearted people who want to do their part and help that community grow.
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Comment on Do I need dating apps? (same-sex, a bit of ace) in ~life
Lia LinkI relate to your description of yourself, with some exceptions that I don't think matter too much (for example, I'm cis-het but I too have many "masculine" interests but can't understand what...I relate to your description of yourself, with some exceptions that I don't think matter too much (for example, I'm cis-het but I too have many "masculine" interests but can't understand what makes them masculine so I don't describe myself that way). Some thoughts.
Please don't read too much into the blackpill stuff. I read through some of it and some people's comments on there are.. (not familiar with the terminology to be very precise) something-pilled, even when they describe not being into it anymore.
Yes, it's true that some people are superficial and will be more attracted to modelesque people or even refuse to date anyone who isn't insanely attractive physically. Also, water is wet. From this it does not follow that everyone is like that or that you even want to meet people who are. (Except of course if you yourself are superficial, but I'm going to assume no.) They're on the apps but they will be easy to ignore, just like you're going to ignore anyone else who is a bad fit for you. You don't need to know how attractive you are, but it will help if you like your own appearance - and if you don't or are unsure, working on your style (and healthy lifestyle / habits if applicable) is enough.
I was on the apps last year and I've met all my significant partners on them. They are structured in a certain way but nothing mandates you to use them in a way that isn't in line with what you want. For example, I don't care about looks at all so I read the bio carefully and I only give it a like if the bio makes me feel genuinely excited about getting to know that person. Which happens extremely rarely. So, browsing is boring because you'll be swiping mostly to the left, but in the end that's a good thing. I don't meet a great match in real life very often at all so of course they aren't abundant online either, and ideally I only want to talk to those who I get along with rather than randomly wasting my energy and focus. Realistic expectations will protect you from getting discouraged.
When filling out / writing your profile, it's best to focus mainly on conveying your personality as completely and vividly as possible, and maybe shedding some light on what kind of relationship you're looking for. Listing negative traits you don't want in a partner isn't a good idea because no one thinks of themself negatively and they aren't going to self-select out of your dating pool based on what you say. It's better to just be aware of what you'd like to avoid and then develop ways to figure out which people have those qualities. Sometimes you'll see it directly from the profile, other times it takes a few messages back and forth. Back when I started, I ended up on dates with some not-so-nice people but I learned quite quickly to ask the right questions and read between the lines so that I started having fun dates only!
Overall I'd just like to encourage you to go in with the mindset that you're on there to see if your future partner happens to be on there too - not to conform to a set of expectations some other users may have. We are all unique, individual people and all it takes for any of us is meeting one other person who is like-minded enough. The red/black/purple/whatever-pill idea that dating is a numbers game and you need to attract a maximum number of people to find a partner is counterproductive. If you obfuscate who you really are to maximise your options (quantitatively), you may end up alienating the few people out there who are ideal for you (qualitatively). Just be yourself, as cliche as it sounds.
Here's an older comment of mine about using dating apps in a perhaps uncommon but productive way.
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Comment on An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology" in ~life
Lia Link ParentI'm so glad that someone wrote about this. It's something that should be taught to everyone in school (that probably won't happen in America for as long as the billionaires are in power and that...I'm so glad that someone wrote about this. It's something that should be taught to everyone in school (that probably won't happen in America for as long as the billionaires are in power and that likely goes for the Democratic party too).
I have another question though: WTF are these people thinking? I mean, are they not at all concerned about the long term survival and happiness of themselves and especially their kids? Most of them do seem to have kids. I myself do not, and I'm still extremely concerned about a society that has lost too much cohesion. It's not going to be a fun place even if you're one of the oppressors, or their offspring. Is it that they're low IQ enough to believe Elon Musk will whisk them off to Mars before WW3/4/5, and that it'll actually be a nice environment to settle in to live a life of luxury? What gives?
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Comment on AI populism's warning shots in ~society
Lia (edited )Link ParentI was going to say if the article isn't populism, then it's propaganda. But I wanted to fact-check myself and glanced at some of the other articles this person wrote and she seems to be coming...That’s not populism, though?
I was going to say if the article isn't populism, then it's propaganda. But I wanted to fact-check myself and glanced at some of the other articles this person wrote and she seems to be coming from a good place.
It's just very poor logic to name one stance, and not the other, as "something populism". Critical and supportive arguments can both be populist. Trying to cement this term to describe one side only seems deliberate and manipulative (almost like some big foot in the AI camp asked her to do so), but maybe it's just a case of a young journalist trying to become relevant by twisting language in hopes that it takes off so that she'll be able to say "I coined the term 'AI populism' " on her socials bio. Or something?
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Comment on The Armenian Needlelace Initiative is dedicated to the study and evolution of Armenian needlelace traditions in relationship with ancestral lifeways and lands in ~arts
Lia LinkThis is a really nice website on what seems like a really fun handcraft technique. I love experimenting with techniques and I've never done this one before, and this post made me very happy....This is a really nice website on what seems like a really fun handcraft technique. I love experimenting with techniques and I've never done this one before, and this post made me very happy. Thanks for posting!
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Comment on An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology" in ~life
Lia (edited )Link ParentGet laid? Sure. Get pleasure, the sole reason why people want to get laid outside of reproduction? That's actually harder for women than it is for men. And it's especially hard when it comes to...- Exemplary
it is easier for women to get laid than men
Get laid? Sure. Get pleasure, the sole reason why people want to get laid outside of reproduction? That's actually harder for women than it is for men. And it's especially hard when it comes to casual sex. Exceptions apply, of course, but they are fairly uncommon. It's extremely out of touch and silly that people get offended about how easy it would be for me to have a completely unpleasant (and sometimes on top of that: dangerous) physical and emotional experience.
Almost any man can easily get laid too if they accept sex that isn't pleasant for them: just step into a gay bar and announce your availability, or download Grindr.
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Comment on AI populism's warning shots in ~society
Lia Link ParentThere are already hoards of uninformed people acting as AI boosters and unintentionally sowing destruction in workplaces and universities etc. Does the article mention them?There are inevitably going to be a lot of uninformed people complaining about AI who know very little about it but are sure it’s bad.
There are already hoards of uninformed people acting as AI boosters and unintentionally sowing destruction in workplaces and universities etc. Does the article mention them?
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Comment on AI populism's warning shots in ~society
Lia Link ParentTwo things can be true at the same time. But my comment isn't about the people, it's about the companies. Why is it not enough for them that some people find their product useful? Why are they...Two things can be true at the same time.
But my comment isn't about the people, it's about the companies. Why is it not enough for them that some people find their product useful? Why are they doing this Clippy on steroids thing? It's not populism to ask why the emperor doesn't seem to be wearing much more than a pair of briefs - fancy as those briefs may be from some people's perspective.
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Comment on AI populism's warning shots in ~society
Lia LinkI just read the quoted parts, but if I got the gist of this piece right, it's a populist article directed at an AI-enamoured audience, trying to paint AI-critical people as uninformed and...I just read the quoted parts, but if I got the gist of this piece right, it's a populist article directed at an AI-enamoured audience, trying to paint AI-critical people as uninformed and unthinking when in reality the opposite is more true (save of course the marginal lunatic faction that will always exist).
It's a perfectly legitimate position to say the current forms of publicly available AI are 'manufactured by out-of-touch billionaires and pushed onto an unwilling public to achieve sinister aims'. Previously, disruptive technology was accepted despite being disruptive because it solved real problems and/or created real efficiency on a societal scale. By contrast, AI is being force-fed to gazillions of people at enormous cost, people who want nothing to do with it it because it does not solve anything for them and instead creates a bunch of new issues and inefficiencies.
If the purpose of Big AI was to genuinely help society, the models would be tailored to address specific issues and be much, much more effective at doing so. Instead, because the companies behind these models want to rule over the rest of society, they have chosen to try to make "everything machines" that are shitty at almost everything they try to do and that have to indiscriminately devour all publicly available data in order to function - and all restricted (copyrighted) data on top of that. The latter is stealing. Why would anyone who actually wants to help go about it in this manner? It's either strikingly incompetent and morally callous, or it's driven by a desire to dominate and oppress.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see what's what, just like it was easy to see the current US president, before he was elected (for the first time but especially the second!) as somebody I don't trust enough to even mow my lawn, not to mention granting him any sort of leadership position. It's not that hard, people.
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Comment on Things that don't suck in ~talk
Lia LinkThis made me feel some sort of relief today: Italy suspends defence cooperation with Israel Also, the French government dropping Windows in favour of Linux! But it was already posted on Tildes.This made me feel some sort of relief today:
Italy suspends defence cooperation with Israel
Also, the French government dropping Windows in favour of Linux! But it was already posted on Tildes.
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Comment on Half-baked idea for metered inline image allowances in ~tildes
Lia Link ParentI enjoyed that comment very much because it was a verbal representation of a meme I'd seen many times already (too many times). Thank goodness I didn't have to see it on Tildes too. It would have...Sometimes a funny image says it all. Not every comment on this site has to be super serious discussions and deep understanding about some topic. I think this recent comment is a good example.
I enjoyed that comment very much because it was a verbal representation of a meme I'd seen many times already (too many times). Thank goodness I didn't have to see it on Tildes too. It would have been even funnier without the explicit link to the meme because then I could have been certain that the author is making a dig towards the meme's overuse. The existence of the link makes it seem more likely that the author would have just posted the meme directly, were it technically feasible on Tildes.
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Comment on Half-baked idea for metered inline image allowances in ~tildes
Lia Link ParentI'm an artist in a field where a key component of my work is in a visual form, and I couldn't agree with you more! Exactly. In most online conversations images are used as shortcuts and as such...- Exemplary
I'm an artist in a field where a key component of my work is in a visual form, and I couldn't agree with you more!
Having people talk and describe concepts reveals things about what they believe and why.
Exactly. In most online conversations images are used as shortcuts and as such they are a lazy form of communication. While other types of images can exist, the lazy/vacuous/sloppy category is so overwhelmingly ubiquitous that it feels like cancer to me. No matter where I go, I have to see images like that, a constant stream of them, all infiltrating my consciousness not matter how hard I try to fend them off.
Tildes is the only community online that I know of where I can have reasonable interactions with people and not get bombarded with sloppy images. @0x29A mentioned AI-generated images, and they certainly represent a new level of how utterly disappointing and void this form of communication can get, but even before gen AI became popular, I was already suffering from image slop overdose.
And it's not a solution that images would be hidden behind some clickable element. I would still have to encounter a bunch of posts and comments that are potentially indecipherable unless I click to see the image, which would defeat the purpose. The reason Tildes feels so safe and relaxing is because I can trust it to be completely clean of image slop. I can drop my usual vigilance that is active whenever I'm in any other online space. If images for some reason had to happen over here, then the only way for me to still feel safe would be a setting that allows me to not ever see any topics of comments that have images in them so I wouldn't have to expend mental energy towards what to do about them, but that would lead to the division of an already small community into factions that would no longer interact with each other.
Obviously, some conversations are only possible if images can be used - for example a knitting sub on reddit would be too cumbersome to participate in if we were unable to instantly see what the poster is talking about. But general discussions are much, much better without images because the effort it takes to put something in words makes people inherently more considerate wrt what they say, and when the interpretation isn't outsourced to the recipient as much, it becomes easier to write good quality replies so people do it more. And when there are no images anywhere, those good quality replies get the attention they deserve which further improves the incentive to write them.
The exemplary tag is currently the only image-like element on Tildes in that it draws attention to itself like an image would. It works exactly as intended, making valuable comments easier to find. If there were regular images in the mix, those would work in the opposite direction and draw attention indiscriminately to whatever random content the image happens to be a part of. This would not only be distracting but it would also create a misaligned incentive structure: it's easier to get more attention by posting any low quality slop image vs. writing high quality text content, so a lot of people would feel compelled to do so. Even if everyone here thinks they'd be above such primitive urges, humans are not actually that smart or self-aware.
The internet is already inundated with communities that allow images so wouldn't it make more sense that the people who like to participate in image-based or image-"enhanced" communication do so in one of those places? I just want one community where I can feel relaxed because my attention can be completely dedicated to reading and nothing else.
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Comment on Amazon killing purchasing, borrowing and downloading books for older Kindles in ~tech
Lia Link ParentOff topic, but how about a paywalled wheelchair?I've heard that the garage door opener stops working on the latest Honda models if you don't pay a subscription fee.
Off topic, but how about a paywalled wheelchair?
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Comment on So it turns out I was cheated on in ~health.mental
Lia Link ParentI've read it a couple times and I'm glad it's still sitting on my shelf because I may have to change careers if my current situation doesn't improve despite my giving it my all. And I believe this...I've read it a couple times and I'm glad it's still sitting on my shelf because I may have to change careers if my current situation doesn't improve despite my giving it my all. And I believe this book will support me through that transition too! (My career is extremely important to me, almost like an intimate relationship, so I think letting go of it would feel similar to breaking up.)
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Comment on So it turns out I was cheated on in ~health.mental
Lia Link ParentI've been through a similar situation that also landed me in a toxic relationship. I was even able to almost predict how the relationship would unfold, but even so I didn't have enough courage to...I've been through a similar situation that also landed me in a toxic relationship. I was even able to almost predict how the relationship would unfold, but even so I didn't have enough courage to just skip it as I had no prior experience of such situations (all my other relationships have been functional and I'm still good friends with my most important ex). Those things tend to start in an overwhelmingly positive way and it would have felt foolish to say no to something like that without any real evidence that it can't work. Well, I came out of it with that evidence in hand! And I believe you can say the same: it seems like you've done all you possibly could to help you guys get along and make the relationship work. Sometimes even the deepest effort and commitment aren't enough when the game is rigged against you.
The book is divided into sections ("rebuilding blocks") that you can read one at a time, even repeating the ones that you struggle with the most. This ensures you're never working with more than you are actually able to process. Each chapter also has a short section about how to deal with that particular aspect when it comes to supporting your kids through the situation.
I'd like to point out one more thing, regarding this:
It is hard however not feel that utter sense of betrayal in my gut and soul like a knife.
If you're American (or carry some cultural influence from there), you may have been taught to suppress negative emotions. But it is often better to just allow yourself to feel them. Obviously feeling them isn't the same as acting out, and the latter is where we sometimes need to restrain ourselves. But feelings themselves are not dangerous, even when utterly negative and appalling. The book is purposefully written in a way that will make you cry at times (and laugh at other times!). I recommend reading it after your kid has gone to bed so that you don't have to keep up appearances while reading! Once you've felt enough of the utter dogshit stuff, you'll have gone through most of it and it'll become gradually less and less. Then one day, you'll be over it completely.
Good luck!
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Comment on So it turns out I was cheated on in ~health.mental
Lia Link ParentI did not mention it in my reply but should have, so let me just pile on here. A caveat though: it isn't always easy to find one that is actually good and also a good fit for you (both things...I did not mention it in my reply but should have, so let me just pile on here. A caveat though: it isn't always easy to find one that is actually good and also a good fit for you (both things matter a lot).
I landed an amazing therapist on my first try, but when I wanted to continue a few years later, she was fully booked and I went through a few months with a bad fit and had to switch. The one after that was again good. But the not-so-good experience was kind of harrowing in that it probably caused some harm in some ways (while still being helpful in other ways). I'm glad that I had the confidence to realise I should keep looking, and the energy to do so.
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Comment on So it turns out I was cheated on in ~health.mental
Lia LinkI'm sorry that things had to go this way. I glanced at your earlier post as well and it seems like the issues were quite substantial. The kind of disconnect that leads to one person overspending...I'm sorry that things had to go this way.
I glanced at your earlier post as well and it seems like the issues were quite substantial. The kind of disconnect that leads to one person overspending even when it puts the other at risk, etc., is grave enough that you can sort of expect other types of betrayals to have happened as well. It's not necessarily that they are a bad person - some people just have blind spots large enough that they're not truly able to be accountable and unfortunately this manifests in lots of painful ways.
My go-to recommendation to read for anyone who is breaking up from a serious long term relationship is Bruce Fisher's Rebuilding. It was originally published in the 1960's if memory serves, based on the talks he gave at his divorce seminars. When going through my own breakup, reading this felt soothing because it's almost like a benevolent, wise character is talking to you directly. My edition is fairly old and I know many revised editions have come out since, but even the outdated version where he speaks of computers as if they're a novelty item, etc., still feels solid.
The theory behind the book and the adjacent divorce seminars (still being organised today if i'm not mistaken) is that there's usually a reason why we fall in love and develop close ties with people who end up driving us nuts. Uncovering these reasons is a journey worth taking, as it will protect you from getting into similar situations in the future. For myself it was a liberating and quite positive albeit sometimes painful experience. I feel like I am a more complete person today and I'm actually grateful for what happened because it started this process for me.
I can't give much practical advice but I want you to know some online stranger is over here rooting for you. Many of us are going through tough shit, some related to intimate relationships, others related to how unstable the world is these days. I'm in the latter category but in the end, it's all the same: it's not fun and we'd prefer to not have to feel like this and do these things, and yet we just feel them and do them. And one day we can look back and be proud that we survived.
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Comment on Olympic committee announces a broad ban on transgender athletes and athletes with differences in sex development in Women’s events (gifted link) in ~lgbt
Lia Link ParentI'm a cis woman and I suck at sports. No matter how much I practice, the performance levels that are attainable to me are average at best. In many other areas investing enough time and focus tends...I'm a cis woman and I suck at sports. No matter how much I practice, the performance levels that are attainable to me are average at best. In many other areas investing enough time and focus tends to get me excellent results, but in sports I'm stuck being completely average. And this means that top athletes, every single one of them, trans or not, must have some sort of biological advantage over me. So if someone is a trans woman and has some sort of advantage that is loosely or tightly related to being trans, I see that as part of the same phenomenon: they were simply born to excel at sports in a way that I myself wasn't. It would be ridiculous to try to ban these people from competing in the thing they excel at!
On to what you asked: if trans women were welcomed completely normally (as I believe they should be) and if this then eventually led to a situation where trans women dominated the competitions disproportionately (which I believe isn't happening at the moment), then the number of professional trans athletes would have to be so great that a third category would be warranted. Maybe call it "open"? Every gender could compete in it, no questions asked. We might get exciting cases where the open world record on something would potentially surpass the men's? Which might entice some male competitors to take part in the open category. I don't watch sports much but I probably would if there was a chance to see women compete against men, with at least some potential to do well.
Yeah, why is this called an ASCII art generator? I've grown quite sensitive to slop I guess, but this smells a tad sloppy. (I do like the idea though!)