atchemey's recent activity

  1. Comment on Jet Lag: Snake across South Korea | Trailer in ~hobbies

    atchemey
    Link Parent
    Ben is also just a "silly little guy," and I feel that this really shows how true his self-assessment is.

    Ben is also just a "silly little guy," and I feel that this really shows how true his self-assessment is.

    3 votes

  2. Comment on What is a quote that you really like that is from a problematic person? in ~talk

  3. Comment on Loretta Swit, Emmy-winner who played Maj. Houlihan on pioneering series ‘M.A.S.H.,’ has died at 87 in ~tv

    atchemey
    Link
    Loretta Swit was a legend. In MASH, everybody was close off camera, and turned in masterful performances on camera as a result. Unlike many other characters, she had the challenge of playing a...
    • Exemplary

    Loretta Swit was a legend. In MASH, everybody was close off camera, and turned in masterful performances on camera as a result. Unlike many other characters, she had the challenge of playing a character who was easily disliked by the rest of the roles. She nonetheless managed to bring a real humanity to a brutal environment despite the initial harshness of her Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan.

    The way she and Larry Linville played the lover-villains in the early seasons (while queer-coding his character!!!) was simply masterful. Every scene with them alone is so many things - melodrama and camp, villainy and ego, moronism and idealism, slapstick and affected canned delivery - that watching them is honestly a bit like being in a tornado, always getting turned around. They used to go off and practice scenes together and just turn the humor of their roles up to 11, usually by featuring their characters' lack of self-awareness. Later, she tortured Larry's Major Frank Burns ("Ferretface") with a fiancee and husband, while still showing a conflicted affection for Frank (even if she did call him "the lipless wonder" when drunk). Her Hot Lips persona in early seasons risked being one-note as written, as it seems she had flings with every General in the Far East...but she TRULY brought depth to it.

    The changes we see in her over eleven seasons are profound and numerous. It feels like, as she spent more time on her own, Houlihan was able to find her own sense of confidence and identity. Her childhood is examined in depth a few times, including us meeting her dad. (Let's just say he was Regular Army, and a Regular Asshole.) She put him on a pedestal through the "present day," and we learn (by showing! not telling!) that she had self-confidence issues as a result. She was a Major, at the top of her profession as an Army Nurse - there were only a few women who were administrator-level Colonels in the entire Army, and no Generals - but she was deeply insecure. She was a hellacious persecutor of her nurses and enemy of the reprobate doctors who formed the featured cadre, in part because she didn't respect herself. She inflicted strict discipline because it was the only way she could find a measuring stick that her father would approve of. This found admiration from Ferretface, and kicked off their mutually toxic relationship...but with Frank gone at the end of Season 5 (and her disastrous marriage falling apart in Season 6), she found confidence in herself, and established a rapport with the rest of the camp. By the end, she was one of the most emotionally-available characters, even finding the time to write tearful and honest letters to children who mailed the camp. She is an inspiration, and I find myself thinking of connections to the lives of many friends and myself as I type here.

    I've seen every episode several dozen times, all 256, just watching them over and over. I started watching MASH with my parents as a very young child, and then started receiving the DVD seasons every birthday and Christmas from 9 onward. Growing up in rural Indiana with only the "Farmer Five" TV channels (CBS, ABC, NBC, PBS, FOX), isolated from family by distance and peers by personality, I really fell in love with the things I fell in love with. MASH was my greatest media fixation. Through college, I could still quote every episode, tell the jokes, and hit the beats of the stories. Hell, I could even tell you what episode it was going to be it was from the establishing shot. Hot Lips was far from a favorite character when I was 9, but she grew on me over the years. Now, I've always been a bit of a cynic about narratives around character arcs, believing people were reading into things that didn't exist. It is only now, in retrospective, that I realize how remarkable a character Major Houlihan was, because of Loretta Swit. That growth, that change, it was real. Each step was so subtle that you didn't notice. But it was there. I sit in awe of her performance.

    Thank you, Loretta Swit, for the incredible performance you gave the world. Your memory will be a blessing.

    8 votes

  4. Comment on US Democrat party has abandoned young men who want to ‘get laid and have fun’ DNC vice-chair David Hogg says in ~society

    atchemey
    Link Parent
    Strength, friend. Glad to hear I'm not taxing you. Looking forward to your insights in the future :)

    Strength, friend. Glad to hear I'm not taxing you. Looking forward to your insights in the future :)

    1 vote

  5. Comment on US Democrat party has abandoned young men who want to ‘get laid and have fun’ DNC vice-chair David Hogg says in ~society

    atchemey
    Link Parent
    Hey, upvoted for insight! I say many words to try to persuade because I come from a tradition of trying to interrogate my own ideas by encouraging others to point out their flaws. The more issues...

    Hey, upvoted for insight!

    I say many words to try to persuade because I come from a tradition of trying to interrogate my own ideas by encouraging others to point out their flaws. The more issues addressed, the clearer your thoughts become. You're right, that sometimes borders on haranguing, and I apologize to Fae since it seems likely that this was the impact. I will try to be shorter here. Edit: failed.

    I think you pointed out an issue in what I wrote that's important to acknowledge. The burden should not be on the oppressed to accommodate the oppressor. I stand by that principle, but I inelegantly articulated an implication of the contrary. Apologies to all for the lack of clarity.

    A better way to articulate my intended sentiment would be something akin to: Politics is about relative justice, not absolute. To non-violently make a more just system ironically requires interim political tolerance of those systems. Those who are willing and able to do so safely should try to undermine oppressive structures. Those who are not should provide resources (political, social, etc) as they are able to do so. In the David Hogg context, he is not threatened by those structures, so he can help work to use social and political privilege to undermine them, but it will not succeed without support from those who would directly benefit from such changes. It is not absolutely just, but it may be necessary to bring about the changes that are mutually desired.

    4 votes

  6. Comment on US Democrat party has abandoned young men who want to ‘get laid and have fun’ DNC vice-chair David Hogg says in ~society

    atchemey
    Link Parent
    Truly no worries. Come back or not, I will not think less of you. Take care of yourself first and foremost :)

    Truly no worries. Come back or not, I will not think less of you. Take care of yourself first and foremost :)

    4 votes

  7. Comment on US Democrat party has abandoned young men who want to ‘get laid and have fun’ DNC vice-chair David Hogg says in ~society

    atchemey
    Link Parent
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I would venture you and I share values, but disagree on tactics for effecting change. A few vignettes below from what you wrote, trying to highlight similarities...

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I would venture you and I share values, but disagree on tactics for effecting change. A few vignettes below from what you wrote, trying to highlight similarities and disagreements. You are of course under no obligation to respond, but I would still welcome a critical gaze! Unrelated: Zami is one of my favorite books of all-time, and I love seeing Lorde in any written form because it means others have read her!

    My circle is wide, but I keep my close people close. As you do, I don't tolerate bigotry at anybody in my circle, and focus on educating when I am able to. I view it as my responsibility to help with that education, as I am not usually a discriminated-against party, so the threats are not against me. That has benefits (seen as more credible, less-threatened, more able to speak with authority), and detriments (it's not my lived experience I'm speaking from, it can appear less genuine as a result of the first, I can get things wrong). Nonetheless, it seems reasonable that, if one is constantly threatened, one would find it difficult to respond coolly under threat. My admiration for women, people of color, transfolks, and other folks who are so threatened but who stick out such threats to discuss such things...it's a lot.

    I agree, Newsom is an opportunist and a person I do not support. To clarify, when I say "feminist leadership abroad," I don't mean ter"f" (fake feminist) leadership. He's a huge disappointment...The trick is, as politically-aware or -active individuals in a democracy, we have to develop rhetorical tools that speak to a majority. We should, as people advocating for progress inside or outside of a political party, choose our tactics to advance our goals of greater equality, justice, freedom, etc. I would argue that the flaw in his approach is that he has changed the goals, rather than his tactics. He is making a grievous error by abandoning his defense of human rights - but other countries do not have progressives that abandon the core principles, and yet they win. That should be our goal.

    "It's honestly so easy to not be a racist/sexist/classist/homophobic asshole. But you know, once again, the people asking for their basic rights and dignity care criticized for being too mean about it and it's exhausting." You're exhausted, and it is no sin to be so - especially when so many people are being assholes towards you for reasons that are unjust...When it comes to politics, respectfully, I don't think this is helpful, but that doesn't have to be your burden to carry (see my second paragraph), and your life should not have to be political, simply because of who you are...sad to have to explicitly say. I would only gently point out that this dismissal is the kind of thing that David Hogg is talking about, and it's a huge political problem. If we write people off who, for whatever reason (lack of education, lack of experience, religion, being told they're part of the problem by some archetype of liberalism as in the bullshit blue-haired liberal memes, lies and propaganda, etc) are easily categorized as an asshole, we can easily lose a solid majority of voters just there. This is horrifying to realize, but this needs a solution. It doesn't have to be you (again, I am sorry your existence is political, it's not right)...but there needs to be flexibility enough for people like me, "the norm/non-political identitied," to reach out and "unasshole" those people without being written off. That's the leftist circular firing squad I referred to - I've been dismissed by some folks who were "holier than thou" for having such conversations, and I think it is a huge mistake. I'm not an asshole so I'm not going to abandon my principles unlike Newsom, but it does make it MUCH harder to deradicalize folks.

    6 votes

  8. Comment on US Democrat party has abandoned young men who want to ‘get laid and have fun’ DNC vice-chair David Hogg says in ~society

    atchemey
    Link Parent
    You're definitely right that some of this is misogyny that we are fighting against. To simply reduce it to that (not saying you are) would be an error, in my estimate. I'm firmly in the feminist...

    You're definitely right that some of this is misogyny that we are fighting against. To simply reduce it to that (not saying you are) would be an error, in my estimate. I'm firmly in the feminist camp, but I'm a guy, and the same kinds of responses arise. While some of that is likely secondary misogyny (aka: women say the same thing so I'm going to think you a guy are a scold), it seems too simple, too neat, too uncomplicated a response for me. What follows is a brief diatribe, so I apologize if it does not ring true, and would welcome your thoughts, including where I am mistaken or condescending.

    Even if it were simply misogyny, where do we go from there?

    Do we simply shame misogynists into not being misogynist? I don't think it works like that, and I suspect that it is the experience of many who "disagree with trump but don't feel judged by him," that this is what has been attempted.

    Do we implement purity tests to ensure perfect adherence, and kick folks out for doing wrong (aka: talking to the Proud Boys to convince them is too far gone)? That's a path to a smaller group, not a more popular?

    Do we simply give up? What drastic outcomes would follow? This is of course totally unacceptable.

    I think the plan is we have to learn from allied countries with feminist leadership that are not struggling with this (as much). Countries across Europe and NZ have much more progressive and feminist leadership, with broad bases of support. Are they compromised, somehow, by their language? I'd suggest probably not, they're just more effective.

    So much of the language we use in politics is driven by intra-party squabbling that it becomes hazardous to primary challenges (or loss of political capital) to not use the correct language. Look at the GOP sycophancy for trump, and how their language has evolved over the last dozen years or so...it's happened on the Left too, but in a more academic and elitist way. There's an element of "if I am less right then I am wrong, so you need to be equally exactly right with me so we will be right together," in the political language we use, which is dangerous for politicking, even if necessary for governing.

    I've read Judith Butler and their colleagues. I buy in, and think deeply on such things. They are almost certainly correct in their political assessments around gender and ideology. I'm working to become more comfortable with imperfections in my language, and to accept the imperfections in others'. Right now the Dems and feminist left are a circular firing squad, politically, and we need to accept more imperfections, in exchange for then doing the most good. Politics is about the possible, not the perfect. And I think we are suffering because of that obsession.

    3 votes

  9. Comment on Advice regarding the Sunken Cost Fallacy in ~health.mental

    atchemey
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    I think this is a good starting point but incomplete. I have a dilemma, where the answer is I would have made the BIG decision the same, but subsequent decisions would have been no. Things can...

    I think this is a good starting point but incomplete. I have a dilemma, where the answer is I would have made the BIG decision the same, but subsequent decisions would have been no. Things can start as a "yes" and then edge towards "no" over time, and that's where it's hard. This falls into ambiguity which is difficult to have a simple heuristic.

    Good on you nonetheless for trying to help others!

    4 votes

  10. Comment on US Democrat party has abandoned young men who want to ‘get laid and have fun’ DNC vice-chair David Hogg says in ~society

    atchemey
    Link Parent
    He was trying to inculcate you into the use of that word. It's silly but more details here. It's one of those things where, the more you are involved with politics, the more readily you see it.

    He was trying to inculcate you into the use of that word.

    It's silly but more details here. It's one of those things where, the more you are involved with politics, the more readily you see it.

    12 votes

  11. Comment on US Democrat party has abandoned young men who want to ‘get laid and have fun’ DNC vice-chair David Hogg says in ~society

    atchemey
    Link Parent
    Yeah, those appear to be Gotcha moments. But I'm also less concerned with purity tests ... If he goes and talks to them and convinces any of them to put down reactionary politics, that is good...

    Yeah, those appear to be Gotcha moments. But I'm also less concerned with purity tests ... If he goes and talks to them and convinces any of them to put down reactionary politics, that is good work.

    Politics is not won by the holiest, it is won by the most popular. I fear that anybody left of Nero has become obsessed with appearing right instead of winning the argument, hence the "oh he talked to Proud Boys" handwringing. You are far from alone in this, not calling you out specifically. There is a word for people who are knowingly superior in morals/ethics who tells others of their superiority, we call them a Scold...or, more recently, an Asshole. That's a huge branding problem. Other countries have managed to get feminist/equality-minded leadership without the scope of reactionary backlash that we have in the States. But a party of scolds condescending from on high and claiming moral authority is anathema.

    One can be right on everything and still lose. That's what 2016 and 2024 have shown.

    13 votes

  12. Comment on US Democrat party has abandoned young men who want to ‘get laid and have fun’ DNC vice-chair David Hogg says in ~society

    atchemey
    Link
    I wish they'd edit the headline on the site, since "Democrat Party" is used as a dogwhistle by far-right groups (instead of Democratic Party). Yeah he's probably onto something. David Hogg is a...

    I wish they'd edit the headline on the site, since "Democrat Party" is used as a dogwhistle by far-right groups (instead of Democratic Party).

    Yeah he's probably onto something. David Hogg is a pretty smart guy, has a lot of good things to say, including this where it's time to take medicine. Admittedly, the MAGAs are lying their asses off to get young men to support them, but the answer to that cannot be scolding those who are lied to.

    20 votes

  13. Comment on Are there any good online CS degrees? Is it advisable to enroll into an online CS degree? in ~comp

  14. Comment on Are there any good online CS degrees? Is it advisable to enroll into an online CS degree? in ~comp

    atchemey
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    I'm in a different department, sadly... But I can find out who to talk to! Edit: I can DM the contact info if anyone needs it.

    I'm in a different department, sadly... But I can find out who to talk to!

    Edit: I can DM the contact info if anyone needs it.

    2 votes

  15. Comment on Are there any good online CS degrees? Is it advisable to enroll into an online CS degree? in ~comp

    atchemey
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    Oregon State University (my employer) has an extremely well-designed online CS degree. It's been a real point of pride that our ecampus has excellent placement and rigorous education online.

    Oregon State University (my employer) has an extremely well-designed online CS degree. It's been a real point of pride that our ecampus has excellent placement and rigorous education online.

    4 votes

  16. Comment on This is the most balanced take on the parenting discourse that I have ever heard in ~life

    atchemey
    Link Parent
    Hey friend, I don't know you from Adam, but it seems like you're a nice enough fellow. I'd like to say thank you for sharing what you have and opening a bit about your struggles. It's always hard...

    Hey friend,

    I don't know you from Adam, but it seems like you're a nice enough fellow. I'd like to say thank you for sharing what you have and opening a bit about your struggles. It's always hard being in a new environment, surrounded by a new language, and feelings of isolation suck. We've all been there at one point or another, in one way or another, and my heart goes out to you.

    Without knowing more than what you've said about your life, and not intending to tell you your business, I suspect I may be able to help you understand and perhaps even empathize with the struggles you face making friends. You see, I am very familiar with your branch of Christianity, and have had friends and neighbors who are adherents of your denomination my entire life. (I recognized it pretttttty much immediately, having grown up within 100 miles of its founding locale.) Without knowing you, I suspect that (as we all have blind spots) there may be attitudes or behaviors you espouse may confuse those outside your religious community. Without communication, there can be no community, and if you are communicating in a foreign language (figuratively as well as literally), it is very hard to build community. I believe you are in earnest in welcoming and not judging others for their lack of belief, but there may be things you are saying (reflecting what others in your denomination have said) that would belie that intention. What's below is a little about me and a little bit about what impression others of your denomination have left on me.

    Growing up, I described myself as, "Christian, but not a jerk about it," to a lot of folks who were not religious, or who had experiences of persecution from religious persons and organizations...which I think is a sentiment you would also express. Indeed, the veganism/vegetarianism and respect for all humans regardless of adherence that are hallmarks of your denomination speak to the desire to be Godly and kind on earth (in part inspired by the Millerian Millennialism in the 1840s and a desire to enter Salvation with a holy Spirit). I adopted that language of self-description, because, rightly or wrongly, many people hear "Christian" and expect a certain kind of treatment. Namely, mistreatment. Put another way, like Gandhi said, "I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians."

    If your self-identity is Christian first last and in all things, that's going to come with certain expectations from the label. We can describe ourselves a however we want, but words have meanings to folks. As one of my favorite shows repeats, "first impression's a lasting one." If you enter into every interaction with a person you'd like to hang out with as, "Damn the torpedos, full steam ahead, I'm a Christian," some folks won't be interested in learning more. That's either because of bad experiences with people who described themselves similarly, or because of a general social skepticism in your country that isn't helped by those people. I say this because, in your answer, you repeatedly talked about being a Christian as a barrier to knowing folks...might it be that you're bringing up your religion in a way that is easily misunderstood in your context?

    In more religious environs, professions of faith, testimony, and even explicit evangelism are often welcomed in the public sphere. In other spaces, the only people who really talk about their own faith are those seeking to proselytize those who are disinterested, or who promote political ideology that is exclusionary for some populations. Either situation would be off-putting to many, but that's all that many people experience. If you use language that reminds people of, "that one guy who keeps harassing me about the end of days," it may be that others will mistakenly consider you to be like them, even if you're just a chill dude who wants to play video games or make craft sodas. Even as a person raised in a more faithful community than I'm in now, someone who's like, "yeah it's hard to make friends because I'm Christian," is kinda...worrying to me. Like I'm expecting the other shoe to drop.

    You can't change your society alone. You don't have to change who you fundamentally are to fit in. But if who you are perceived as is different from who you are, your language and approach can change to reconcile the two. Maybe I'm way off base (and if so please forgive me), but that might help you understand?

    4 votes

  17. Comment on Tip to tip: Crossing Japan with no map in ~hobbies

    atchemey
    Link Parent
    Having watched the entire series, I will slightly correct what I said before. I knew substantially more, but different Japanese than they did. I felt actually able to chat with people in Japan,...

    Having watched the entire series, I will slightly correct what I said before. I knew substantially more, but different Japanese than they did. I felt actually able to chat with people in Japan, while they struggled. Nonetheless, I am certain that if I had gone to Fukuoka knowing as much as you just said, I would still been able to get around, and been welcomed by the locals. Kyushu is a special place, and I really loved it. A shame it gets so hot and humid for so long!

    3 votes

  18. Comment on Tip to tip: Crossing Japan with no map in ~hobbies

    atchemey
    (edited )
    Link
    Having just returned from Japan, with not much more language than they have. I was there to learn and see the sights and practice my Japanese, so I heavily used Google Translate and Maps to get...

    Having just returned from Japan, with not much more language than they have. I was there to learn and see the sights and practice my Japanese, so I heavily used Google Translate and Maps to get around. If my math is right, I actually passed right by them when on the Shinkansen to Kagoshima as they were heading to Fukuoka and I was leaving it! Small world! Edit: Turns out they went the wrong way, so I was in Miyazaki the same day they were. Crazy.

    I don't know if I'd be willing to do what they are ...but like their first episode showed, the people there are incredibly considerate, especially if you open in Japanese. The geography is beautiful. The country is wonderful...and if you go with empathy, patience, some Japanese, and a willingness to not be the "ugly American" or "noisy foreigner" who disrupts their lives, you'll be met with an abundance of generosity.

    I'm going back. ASAP. And watching this series in the interim.

    6 votes

  19. Comment on Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney calls for snap election amid trade war with US in ~society

    atchemey
    Link
    As long as PP keeps stepping in it, this could be far less bad than feared.

    As long as PP keeps stepping in it, this could be far less bad than feared.

    4 votes

  20. Comment on What do you do with your diplomas? in ~life

    atchemey
    Link Parent
    Yeah, as a prof, the job journey is slim. But if it's the job for you, it's the ONLY job for you. Regarding diplomas, I am just now putting mine up, and I've been in the job since 2021. Getting...

    Yeah, as a prof, the job journey is slim. But if it's the job for you, it's the ONLY job for you.

    Regarding diplomas, I am just now putting mine up, and I've been in the job since 2021. Getting them nicely matted and framed. Most folks don't have them up in their office, I'm weird lol.