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Comment on What surprised you the most about becoming a father? in ~life.men
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Comment on What surprised you the most about becoming a father? in ~life.men
hvk LinkI will never forget the moment that I met my eldest for the first time. I looked down at her and was completely and utterly overcome with a deep, all encompassing sense of love. I feel like in all...I will never forget the moment that I met my eldest for the first time. I looked down at her and was completely and utterly overcome with a deep, all encompassing sense of love.
I feel like in all of my other relationships in life, love is a process that occurs over time. Whether that be with my wife, our animals, our friends, even my own parents. I mean I guess I always have loved my parents, but my love for them has grown and matured as I have.
My experience with my children has been very different. In that moment seeing her for the first time, I was just struck how instantly full my heart was, that I just loved her fully and completely with everything I have. I remember standing outside the OR holding her in my arms, tears of pure joy and overwhelm streaming down my face. I did not anticipate that at all, but its one of my favorite moments of all time. I had the same feeling with our second although I knew it was coming so I just let it all in.
I guess the other thing that has surprised me is how wild it is to see yourself in your kids. Its one thing when what you consider a redeeming quality comes shining through, but its altogether different when its something you might not so easily admit to as a personal fault, or something that someone commented on in the past that you just didn't see but can't deny when its unfolding right in front of your eyes in your kiddo.
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Comment on What are your favourite dad jokes? in ~talk
hvk LinkWhere do you take someone who has been injured in a peek-a-boo incident? To the ICUWhere do you take someone who has been injured in a peek-a-boo incident?
To the ICU
I am really glad that you get to have these experiences with your kids, it sounds like you have a strong internal drive to be the best version of yourself despite your upbringing.
We always wanted to have one parent home until our kids were in full time school. I had an opportunity to take a buy-out package at work around the same time my wife's manager at her work was retiring. She went back full time and took the manager job while I came home to parent full time.
I had no idea how challenging and difficult being the primary at home parent actually was. I used to empty the dishwasher and find myself irritated when my wife didn't say anything. Little did I know that with a family of 4 the dishwasher was being run at least once a day, and that she likely didn't notice because of how busy her world was.
I also didn't realize the emotional labour that went into much of her responsibilities. At work I was used to recognition programs, peer and manager feedback, performance reviews and team building activities. At home, no one thanked me for all of the unseen work I did. I would find myself desperately just wanting an adult conversation. The early years of playdates and chilling with other parents were pretty awesome.
At the end of the day, i believe it made my relationship with my wife and kids much stronger, it has made me a much better communicator, and it gave me a perspective that I sorely lacked when I was the working stiff. I also have a deep seeded relationship from those formative years with both of my kiddos that I am grateful for every day, especially as my kids grow up and I yearn for those early years where you were their whole world.