Group chat solutions for small groups?
I have been in a group chat with 2 of my closet friends for more than 10 years now, and we have been using Facebook messenger for that entire time. However, there has always been interest in migrating to a different platform, but so far we have not been able to land on a good alternative. We have gotten very used to some of the messenger features and have disliked alternatives for lacking these features. I was wondering if anyone could suggest some solutions here, up to and including a DIY (maybe IRC?) approach.
The features we really liked from messenger:
- Nicknames, and ability to tag by nickname
- Emoji hotkey (where you have quick access to a selected emoji, we use this for a lot of in-jokes)
- Chat theme and customization
- easy cross-platform or browser based (we are a mix of mac/pc, and iphone/android users)
Features we really do not need and in fact get in the way:
- Different channels or rooms
- voice/video
- screen sharing
Features that aren't necessary but could be nice:
- bots
Does anyone have suggestions for alternatives to messenger that hit these points? We have tried Discord, but found it was way too feature heavy for how we use it, and lacked some really basic features we liked from messenger. Whatsapp was a decent replacement, but lack of themes and emoji hotkey made it less enjoyable for us than messenger, plus it is also a Meta platform which eliminated one of the main reasons we wanted to switch.
I have half a mind to set up an IRC channel for us, but it's been many years at this point since I've used IRC, so I don't know what that ecosystem is like these days, and how easy it would be to get my non-tech-savvy friends on board.
(perhaps this is better suited to ~tech, but I am posting here with an eye towards DIY solutions, although to reiterate I would also be happy with an out-of-the-box alternative)
Try out Signal?
It has pretty much all the WhatsApp features (and also chat themes) except it's not Meta.
I'd use it for all my chats if I could get my friends to change, but alas.
For the emoji button, I'd just use a different keyboard on your phone, and use whatever app on the various desktops to type it to be honest.
I have an emoji button on SwiftKey and I use it all the time.
I'd just use Signal. Should be able to do those four things you're looking for. Maybe a little more basic than what you're used to though. I've never used the feature, but it does look like there's some basic chat theming. As far as the quick access emojis, I think you're limited to the ones they set up as defaults. I've noticed that it doesn't remember the ones I use a lot.
It's cross-platform, but do note that each user must have a phone as their "main" device, then can link up to, I think, 5 additional devices. When you link a device, I think you get at most 45 days of history on the new device.
Signal would seem to fit the bill. You can do gif memes, emoji, really easily. Custom chat backgrounds, image and video sharing. I got my family group to use it.
I would definitely try Signal since it's very private and well regarded, but if you find it too basic, Telegram has all the features you listed. It also has the bonus of letting you install 3rd party clients if you don't like the official ones.
Other than Signal, self-hosting XMPP is not that hard. That gets you, as a baseline, basic text chat, both 1:1 DMs, and chatrooms. If you add extensions, you can get file sharing, voice calls, and video calls, I believe.
Self-hosting XMPP (or Matrix for that matter) is not that hard, but it does require attention. I think the bigger issue there is that for anyone using iOS the UX will be uncomfortable enough to dissuade people from using it. This has something to do with iOS’ policies about apps running in the background (I believe), and even though there are ways to mitigate that abrasion it is still there. I currently use Snikket so I can have a phone number back in the US and it is pretty wonky. I hosted a server for years to use with my family, and most of them gave up on it and the ones who stuck with it had a hard time. Which is too bad because XMPP is the full package.
Worth mentioning Matrix as well here.
I switched from Messenger to Telegram in 2024. It has extremely nice desktop clients.
Several people have mentioned Telegram. It's worth noting that Telegram has almost certainly been compromised by the FSB. They're happy to dish out user data to other governments as well. Telegram's CEO, Pavel Durov, claims otherwise but there's a whole big lot of circumstantial evidence to suggest he's lying. He's also happy taking Elon's filthy cash which may be the wrong side of an ethical red line for you.
Personally I wouldn't touch Telegram with a very long bargepole and I mostly don't give a crap about privacy.
Telegram and Discord are the only ones with first-class bot support that doesn't require weird-ass hacks.
But if privacy is a consideration, Signal is pretty much the best case but if the have to choose between user friendliness and security they always choose security.
Telegram fits all those requirements and is relatively user friendly.
But like others have said, you can use Signal if security is a concern.