Functioning game-oholics and the voodoo magic of video games
I'm sure a lot of us are aware of WHO officially recognizing gaming addiction, and probably have read some follow up news articles about it as well.
I really dislike how news and media outside of gaming communities in general portray gaming. It's always this foreign, voodoo magic-y thing. Often, games are just talked about as a giant whole, instead of breaking it down into reasonable categories. For example, being addicted to online poker is very different from committing to a MMO raid. But, to be fair, there is always that one guy that takes everything way too seriously.
In TV series, such as The Big Bang Theory (I know this is a cheap shot), their MMO episodes were outright offensive. It was definitely more of what non-gamers think of gamers than actual reality.
So I guess I'm just wondering:
- Have you ever been accused of being a gaming addict, and looking back were you?
- How do you explain gaming to non-gamers?
- Does your gaming actually cause any conflict between you and your family and friends?
- Did you ever forget or do something stupid because of your gaming?
Just anything I guess.
I've never been called an addict but I've received some serious side-eye from people when they find out that gaming is my main hobby. I've noticed a distinct increase in this since turning 30, so I generally avoid bringing it up around new people or at work.
It's never caused genuine conflict, but does sometimes make it difficult to relate to people in my age group. For example, when a coworker asks what I did over the weekend I rarely have a "good" answer.
It's also caused minor issues with my family; they make a point of checking in to make sure I'm "getting out" enough since they equate gaming to being anti-social.
I'm lucky that I mostly meet other gamers, but I have noticed that when non-gamers hear about me gaming, I am getting more of the "you haven't out grown it yet?" kind of judgement.
In regards to #3. I get really frustrated with this attitude. My response is always this, "I'm sorry, I'm playing games with friends. If I were out at a buddy's place, I wouldn't be able to help. This is the same situation."
Yeah I try to liken it to other situations like:
It seems to fall on deaf ears with my SO and it drives me crazy sometimes.
No, I'm not addicted, I'm just unavailable for the next 10-15 minutes. I can't imagine how bad it would be if I ever got back into MMOs or situations where there are encounters that can last quite some time.
Well there's your solution! Just move your gaming setup into the bathroom! :)
You know I could, but I've never brought my switch into the bathroom.
Truth be told, I honestly don't spend very much time in the bathroom. I'm a quick pooper.
I've definitely been accused of being a gaming addict. It has been a source of tension in family relationships going back to the 1980s. I started out with arcade games, the NES, and a Commodore 64. Looking back on it, I've done things that were probably not the best choices at the time, particularly during my high school years and immediately afterward - there was a period in the 1990s when I first had access to online games and I basically did nothing but game all night and sleep during the day, while exerting the bare minimum effort required to stay in university working on a BA. I later dropped out for a couple of years, straightened some things out, held down a full-time job for a couple of years, and then went back full time with some money I'd saved and got a CS degree...and it's not like I stopped playing video games during that time. In fact, after getting the degree, I went on to work in the industry for several years, which was actually the biggest curb on playing video games (due to crunch time at work I had no time, lost the social connections I'd developed through gaming, and so lost interest).
I find I don't find it's hard to explain these days - everyone seems to know what video games are and have some exposure to them.
Gaming has definitely caused conflict with my family. It was a consistent source of tension with my parents when I was a kid. In retrospect, I can see why - given any unstructured time (say summer vacation) it was basically all I did. These days it is much less of a problem. My wife is a gamer as well so it helps. I also tend to not be able to maintain the same level of interest in a single game (to the extent that I find it a challenge these days to finish a game before losing interest). Conflict with friends regarding games has mostly been conflict stemming from behaviour in games.
I've definitely done things I regret or would now consider stupid because of games. I would say the period of my life between the ages of 16 and 20 were really wasted largely due to gaming (for reference, I am 40 now). At the time I was extremely into text-based RPGs called MUDs/MUSHs (particularly relating to the White Wolf table-top RPGs popular at the time), to the extent that I seriously neglected my studies and, worse still, deliberately planned my academic career to take what I saw as the least challenging courses, deliberately skipped assignments/test/exams if I calculated that I could ignore them and still pass the course, etc. I was one of those kids who found high school extremely easy. In spite of doing these things, I was one of the top students at my high school, received scholarships, and could have performed even better if I'd applied myself. When I returned to school to work on my CS degree I graduated with a 3.9 GPA. Years later I did an MBA and had the top marks in my cohort. So in hindsight, I really wish that I had moderated my behaviour during those key late high school/early university years and done the CS degree from the start (which would have let me graduate into the DotCom boom as well).
I'll start. I've never been directly accused of being an addict, but have had friends go out of their way to invite me shopping or something if I mention I'm going to spend a weekend gaming. Or they insist I join them for dinner or a movie, thinking I must be lonely when I really just want to be in pajamas and game.
It's true. One experience I remember was a singing lesson I shared with a friend. We had a lovely teacher, who was definitely not a gamer. For one class, she had us pick our own song, and my friend picked an FFX or FFX-2 song, and our teacher was surprised how beautifully written it was, especially when we summerized the game plot and what the song meant. I think a lot of times, they just don't understand how immersive or deep a game can be.
My father considers me a game addict. I consider it a hobby. I probably spend more time reading than gaming unless friends are involved.
Oh, my wife loves telling me that I'm addicted to gaming while being laid on the sofa watching youtube videos and/or playing some "RP virtual city" (chats in which you do RP in short) when she want to make me feel guilty because I didn't took enough care of her.
I don't explain. It's a personal activity and I don't need to enlighten or convince someone of its validity. I'm happy that it's taking it's space in the "normal hobbies / free time activites" especially because when I was I kid it was the thing that "weird kid" do. But that's it. I don't hide it either, if someone is interested I'm open to help introduce them to some good games for "new players".
Eh, my dad once broke a CD in half because he couldn't accept that his son was always playing on a computer instead of going outside and talk about cars and soccer. My mother was more understanding and actually the one that begun using a computer and games at a later age (convincing also my father to try).
I already talked about my wife. She's a gamer as well but only as a "consumer". To clarify the difference, I like to read about game's theory, how they're made, design choice, etc. She just like to play them, nothing bad with that, just a different take on gaming :)
My kids both love playing those ridiculous cash-grab mobile games. I've some hope for the young one as he has a more inquisitive personality so maybe I'll manage to have him interested in something more than that. The older one is a teenager and convinced that internet, google and chrome are the same thing. He don't even play games, just watch youtube video of the game that his friends talk about. It's kinda annoying me because he just become obsessed over things without even asking himself why. But I'm going off topic.
Never forgot anything. Even when I was a teenager and playing WoW as an "hardcore raider" I never forgot to study first. I deliberately decided that I could fail a test. That happened. So... maybe that count for stupid?
Right now, during the weekdays, I never actually start a game before my kids are asleep. They come first, no matter how bad I would like to "finish that game".
The weekends are kinda hard because I would like to play something, having the whole day free from work, but I understand that the kids (the youngest especially) want to do things with me.
I've never been one for trips and exploring the city so, sometimes, I just declare a weekend "dad's holiday".
That means that we usually watch a movie, or I play something and they watch me (if it's too hard) or we play something in coop, until they get tired of me, and decide to play between themselves so I end up asking myself why I'm trying to get them hooked with videogames if I have to give up my K&M or Controller all the time.
As a related topic, advise to all parents that are also gamers:
One of the wisest thing the obstetrician said to me and my wife was that parents need to have some "myself" time. Even if the kids will ask for their attention constantly. A parent that cannot have some time for itself, is gonna burn out quite fast.