My wife has been on antidepressants for about 10-15 years, getting better and worse every couple of years. The linked article is written from the perspective of the depressed person and didn't say...
My wife has been on antidepressants for about 10-15 years, getting better and worse every couple of years. The linked article is written from the perspective of the depressed person and didn't say much to me. The comment of HN meet my experience much better.
My main gripe is that there are lots of symptoms that fall under depression, and you kind of have to admit you have every single one of them to be able get them treated. This is very problematic because many people can "fake" behaving healthily in front of strangers (in the same way one might smile to strangers you don't like without realizing it because it is the polite/right thing to do), so you might be the only person seeing the worst of your partner.
I really have no advice to give on this. Being kind and understanding to the other person can backfire and just enable their behaviour and isolate you. Being assertive can backfire and just exacerbate whatever is wrong. Every case and every person is different. Just take care of yourself.
Meta reply: I’m very glad the link to the HN discussion proved useful and a good addition. Several of the links I post here come from HN and I know having a link back to that annoyed some people...
Meta reply: I’m very glad the link to the HN discussion proved useful and a good addition. Several of the links I post here come from HN and I know having a link back to that annoyed some people in the past so I’m double checking every time that it’s got some valuable discussion.
That is a very truthful article. For me it is a bit obvious, that is because I've been battling with mental health issues (ADHD and bipolar depression) for about 20 years. I don't have much...
That is a very truthful article. For me it is a bit obvious, that is because I've been battling with mental health issues (ADHD and bipolar depression) for about 20 years.
I don't have much experience loving someone who's depressed, but I have a lot of experience being loved while depressed.
I can only imagine the toll this took on my partners, but it is probably no secret why my relationships don't last super long. Usually about a year. Everyone has a breaking point. I'm grateful for the support and the good moments.
I'm gonna be succinct: in my experience, when clinical depression sets in and you're in your first crisis, only medication truly helps. Talk therapy is a distant second.
After the medications start doing their work, psychotherapy becomes way more important. General practical advice such as "why don't you go to the beach?" will only have an effect when psychotherapy starts showing some result.
One of the major problems of being in a depressive mood or crysis is that no one is prepared to hear the sentence "today I woke up wanting to kill myself". That is something I need to talk about every once in a while, but I never met anyone even remotely capable of having this conversation on a semi-weekly basis, sometimes more. That is hard to deal with, and I understand.
My wife has been on antidepressants for about 10-15 years, getting better and worse every couple of years. The linked article is written from the perspective of the depressed person and didn't say much to me. The comment of HN meet my experience much better.
My main gripe is that there are lots of symptoms that fall under depression, and you kind of have to admit you have every single one of them to be able get them treated. This is very problematic because many people can "fake" behaving healthily in front of strangers (in the same way one might smile to strangers you don't like without realizing it because it is the polite/right thing to do), so you might be the only person seeing the worst of your partner.
I really have no advice to give on this. Being kind and understanding to the other person can backfire and just enable their behaviour and isolate you. Being assertive can backfire and just exacerbate whatever is wrong. Every case and every person is different. Just take care of yourself.
Meta reply: I’m very glad the link to the HN discussion proved useful and a good addition. Several of the links I post here come from HN and I know having a link back to that annoyed some people in the past so I’m double checking every time that it’s got some valuable discussion.
That is a very truthful article. For me it is a bit obvious, that is because I've been battling with mental health issues (ADHD and bipolar depression) for about 20 years.
I don't have much experience loving someone who's depressed, but I have a lot of experience being loved while depressed.
I can only imagine the toll this took on my partners, but it is probably no secret why my relationships don't last super long. Usually about a year. Everyone has a breaking point. I'm grateful for the support and the good moments.
I'm gonna be succinct: in my experience, when clinical depression sets in and you're in your first crisis, only medication truly helps. Talk therapy is a distant second.
After the medications start doing their work, psychotherapy becomes way more important. General practical advice such as "why don't you go to the beach?" will only have an effect when psychotherapy starts showing some result.
One of the major problems of being in a depressive mood or crysis is that no one is prepared to hear the sentence "today I woke up wanting to kill myself". That is something I need to talk about every once in a while, but I never met anyone even remotely capable of having this conversation on a semi-weekly basis, sometimes more. That is hard to deal with, and I understand.
Discussion on HN (286 comments)