Ouch. That hit far too close to home for me, although I imagine it will to most other LGBTQ+ people as well, especially those of us who grew up in a repressive and/or heteronormative environment....
Imagine waking up daily with unshakable self-hate without knowing why. School starts in an hour; crippling anxiety keeps you under your sheets. You stumble into the bathroom and look in the mirror; you see a person you don’t understand. You drive to school; you drown your thoughts with the loudest music you own. You try to suppress your natural feelings and emotions; you tell yourself that love is an idiotic fairytale.
Ouch. That hit far too close to home for me, although I imagine it will to most other LGBTQ+ people as well, especially those of us who grew up in a repressive and/or heteronormative environment. I still sometime wake up and feel the same way though, and still listen to incredibly angry/loud music to drown out the noise and self-doubt in my own head. SOAD, RATM, Prodigy, NIN, Live, and more recently Billy Talent has helped me a lot through the years as a result. Thank God for music, as it can be such a wonderful and powerful tool for expelling our demons and pent up emotions. And TBH, I don't think I would still be here if it weren't for those bands and their music being there for me when I needed that outlet.
It makes a lot of sense that a musician would turn to music as a huge emotional crutch, but he said it beautifully in a way that really captured it and spoke to me as well. Given his age I was a...
It makes a lot of sense that a musician would turn to music as a huge emotional crutch, but he said it beautifully in a way that really captured it and spoke to me as well. Given his age I was a bit upset to hear he also still felt the same kind of hetero-normativity I did when I was growing up, but I suppose the difference is that he grew up in Texas and I in a liberal part of California.
By the way, if you haven't listened to his music, you should. I can't praise this boy enough, I can guarantee you he's on his way to becoming a huge star and that he'll be shadow writing music for decades to come. I watched him produce an entire track on stream on twitch over the course of roughly 4 hours and it sounded like a major release. He said it was only 90% of the way there and needed some fine tuning but I couldn't tell the difference.
Yeah, it always makes me sad to hear that the exact same struggles I went through 20-30 years ago are still happening today with a lot of the younger generation too... though thankfully that does...
Yeah, it always makes me sad to hear that the exact same struggles I went through 20-30 years ago are still happening today with a lot of the younger generation too... though thankfully that does seem to be improving, at least in some parts of the world.
And don't worry, I fully intended to check out Spencer's music thanks to this article. I didn't know he streamed on twitch though, so I will probably wind up checking him out there too. Thanks for the heads up there.
Spencerbrownofficial is his handle on twitch, just like his twitter, but he doesn't have a schedule and is quite sporadic. He mostly goes on when he's producing music, which is a shame because he...
And don't worry, I fully intended to check out Spencer's music thanks to this article. I didn't know he streamed on twitch though, so I will probably wind up checking him out there too. Thanks for the heads up there.
Spencerbrownofficial is his handle on twitch, just like his twitter, but he doesn't have a schedule and is quite sporadic. He mostly goes on when he's producing music, which is a shame because he puts on some really good sets. Maybe it's the OCD and attention to detail but he really is a master at progression.
Followed, so hopefully I manage to catch him when he goes live (though TBH I will probably just dive into the VODs anyways). Thanks again. Edit: Shit.. no VODs? :(
Spencerbrownofficial
Followed, so hopefully I manage to catch him when he goes live (though TBH I will probably just dive into the VODs anyways). Thanks again.
Yea he doesn't do VODs unfortunately, since he's producing tracks. He's also still relatively new to the scene. I've seen him twice in person and the second time was the biggest venue he ever...
Yea he doesn't do VODs unfortunately, since he's producing tracks. He's also still relatively new to the scene. I've seen him twice in person and the second time was the biggest venue he ever played and it was maybeeee 1000 people. He was only discovered by his label about 2 years ago.
There should be some of his sets available online though as he's played a few insomniac virtual events (his virtual dreamstate was unreal if you're a trance fan). I'd also highly suggest listening through his most recent album (the mixed version; stream of consciousness - not pt 1 or 2 those are the unmixed releases) even though I personally think illusions of perfection is a better one.
Aww, well that sucks. I really wanted to watch him create some music. But no worries, I'm currently listening to one of his sets on Soundcloud, and I will likely check out his albums later too.
Aww, well that sucks. I really wanted to watch him create some music. But no worries, I'm currently listening to one of his sets on Soundcloud, and I will likely check out his albums later too.
I've known Spencer Brown was gay for some time now, because I follow him and his music pretty closely, but reading the story he provided was a great reminder that everyone's journey is different.
I've known Spencer Brown was gay for some time now, because I follow him and his music pretty closely, but reading the story he provided was a great reminder that everyone's journey is different.
Ouch. That hit far too close to home for me, although I imagine it will to most other LGBTQ+ people as well, especially those of us who grew up in a repressive and/or heteronormative environment. I still sometime wake up and feel the same way though, and still listen to incredibly angry/loud music to drown out the noise and self-doubt in my own head. SOAD, RATM, Prodigy, NIN, Live, and more recently Billy Talent has helped me a lot through the years as a result. Thank God for music, as it can be such a wonderful and powerful tool for expelling our demons and pent up emotions. And TBH, I don't think I would still be here if it weren't for those bands and their music being there for me when I needed that outlet.
It makes a lot of sense that a musician would turn to music as a huge emotional crutch, but he said it beautifully in a way that really captured it and spoke to me as well. Given his age I was a bit upset to hear he also still felt the same kind of hetero-normativity I did when I was growing up, but I suppose the difference is that he grew up in Texas and I in a liberal part of California.
By the way, if you haven't listened to his music, you should. I can't praise this boy enough, I can guarantee you he's on his way to becoming a huge star and that he'll be shadow writing music for decades to come. I watched him produce an entire track on stream on twitch over the course of roughly 4 hours and it sounded like a major release. He said it was only 90% of the way there and needed some fine tuning but I couldn't tell the difference.
Yeah, it always makes me sad to hear that the exact same struggles I went through 20-30 years ago are still happening today with a lot of the younger generation too... though thankfully that does seem to be improving, at least in some parts of the world.
And don't worry, I fully intended to check out Spencer's music thanks to this article. I didn't know he streamed on twitch though, so I will probably wind up checking him out there too. Thanks for the heads up there.
Spencerbrownofficial is his handle on twitch, just like his twitter, but he doesn't have a schedule and is quite sporadic. He mostly goes on when he's producing music, which is a shame because he puts on some really good sets. Maybe it's the OCD and attention to detail but he really is a master at progression.
Followed, so hopefully I manage to catch him when he goes live (though TBH I will probably just dive into the VODs anyways). Thanks again.
Edit: Shit.. no VODs? :(
Yea he doesn't do VODs unfortunately, since he's producing tracks. He's also still relatively new to the scene. I've seen him twice in person and the second time was the biggest venue he ever played and it was maybeeee 1000 people. He was only discovered by his label about 2 years ago.
There should be some of his sets available online though as he's played a few insomniac virtual events (his virtual dreamstate was unreal if you're a trance fan). I'd also highly suggest listening through his most recent album (the mixed version; stream of consciousness - not pt 1 or 2 those are the unmixed releases) even though I personally think illusions of perfection is a better one.
Aww, well that sucks. I really wanted to watch him create some music. But no worries, I'm currently listening to one of his sets on Soundcloud, and I will likely check out his albums later too.
I've known Spencer Brown was gay for some time now, because I follow him and his music pretty closely, but reading the story he provided was a great reminder that everyone's journey is different.