I think their are other ways to release the frustrations held inside w/o bouts of anger. You can express anger clearly through your words alone. Problems tend to arise when we rely on our bodies...
I think their are other ways to release the frustrations held inside w/o bouts of anger.
You can express anger clearly through your words alone. Problems tend to arise when we rely on our bodies to display what our words could have communicated. You could even say that misinterpreting someone’s physical display of anger is its own kind of mistake — but in the end, both situations start with the spoken or unspoken words of one’s heart.
I would practice increasing my vocabulary to include words that I could clearly express how I felt. Add to that some form of exercise that allows me to get out the anger. And bam!!!!! A recipe for health
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I can empathize with how that must feel really frustrating for you, and how the actions of a few crappy people are ruining things for everyone who isn't a...
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I can empathize with how that must feel really frustrating for you, and how the actions of a few crappy people are ruining things for everyone who isn't a dungheap of a human.
I'm a cis woman. I dated an abusive man for a period of time, who was primarily not physically abusive, but used his anger and other kinds of threats to control and hurt me. I've done a fair amount of reading on domestic abuse (to help me understand how I got myself into such a situation), and by and large, it's a phenomenon perpetuated by men against women. Men hurt women, and they can (and do) possess far more of a physical threat than the reverse. There's another discussion on Tildes right now about judging people by size and weight, rather than strictly gender...and typically, most men are bigger and stronger than most women.
I think there are definitely societal-scale drivers, where men are not encouraged to feel vulnerable emotions, but rather are encouraged to be expressive with their anger, which doesn't help. But as an outsider, I would say that the anger of men is far more tolerated in society generally, and perhaps even encouraged (and it does wonders for their political careers), whereas as a woman, I have found that getting angry means I'm "emotional", and almost immediately lose credibility regardless of whether it's at work or in an argument with a partner. (Especially the abusive one.) My anger is a sign that I am unhinged and unbelievable, whereas for men it's often treated, at the societal scale, as a righteous crusade. Especially when defending the family! There is a lot of societal stigma on women putting their heads down and keeping the peace, or, if they need to be in a conflict, it should be done passive aggressively and in a backstab/gossip way, because that's how women's problems are tolerated societally, in my experience. You don't want to be the one sticking out, and be labeled "shrill" or "shrew", although I have taken on that role on behalf of other ladies.
I don't think anyone's anger is typically accepted by everyone, but I will say that men's anger, for me, is a triggering threat that I cannot tolerate (and immediately causes my flight these days). That isn't your fault, but the potential danger of men's anger is too much for me. If a man looks scary and I think they might be following me on the street, I will cross the street, speed up, and think about my safety first, because I've lived the consequences of when I don't. I'm sorry we live in a world like this, but unfortunately, I think a lot of women are scared for good reason.
I think their are other ways to release the frustrations held inside w/o bouts of anger.
You can express anger clearly through your words alone. Problems tend to arise when we rely on our bodies to display what our words could have communicated. You could even say that misinterpreting someone’s physical display of anger is its own kind of mistake — but in the end, both situations start with the spoken or unspoken words of one’s heart.
I would practice increasing my vocabulary to include words that I could clearly express how I felt. Add to that some form of exercise that allows me to get out the anger. And bam!!!!! A recipe for health
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I can empathize with how that must feel really frustrating for you, and how the actions of a few crappy people are ruining things for everyone who isn't a dungheap of a human.
I'm a cis woman. I dated an abusive man for a period of time, who was primarily not physically abusive, but used his anger and other kinds of threats to control and hurt me. I've done a fair amount of reading on domestic abuse (to help me understand how I got myself into such a situation), and by and large, it's a phenomenon perpetuated by men against women. Men hurt women, and they can (and do) possess far more of a physical threat than the reverse. There's another discussion on Tildes right now about judging people by size and weight, rather than strictly gender...and typically, most men are bigger and stronger than most women.
I think there are definitely societal-scale drivers, where men are not encouraged to feel vulnerable emotions, but rather are encouraged to be expressive with their anger, which doesn't help. But as an outsider, I would say that the anger of men is far more tolerated in society generally, and perhaps even encouraged (and it does wonders for their political careers), whereas as a woman, I have found that getting angry means I'm "emotional", and almost immediately lose credibility regardless of whether it's at work or in an argument with a partner. (Especially the abusive one.) My anger is a sign that I am unhinged and unbelievable, whereas for men it's often treated, at the societal scale, as a righteous crusade. Especially when defending the family! There is a lot of societal stigma on women putting their heads down and keeping the peace, or, if they need to be in a conflict, it should be done passive aggressively and in a backstab/gossip way, because that's how women's problems are tolerated societally, in my experience. You don't want to be the one sticking out, and be labeled "shrill" or "shrew", although I have taken on that role on behalf of other ladies.
I don't think anyone's anger is typically accepted by everyone, but I will say that men's anger, for me, is a triggering threat that I cannot tolerate (and immediately causes my flight these days). That isn't your fault, but the potential danger of men's anger is too much for me. If a man looks scary and I think they might be following me on the street, I will cross the street, speed up, and think about my safety first, because I've lived the consequences of when I don't. I'm sorry we live in a world like this, but unfortunately, I think a lot of women are scared for good reason.