cheep_cheep's recent activity

  1. Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games

    cheep_cheep
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    Many thanks! The art style looks really cool, I'm looking forward to playing it.

    Many thanks! The art style looks really cool, I'm looking forward to playing it.

  2. Comment on Relationship troubles in ~life

    cheep_cheep
    (edited )
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    I think it's a difficult balance. On one hand, many people probably feel uncomfortable asking for something from a partner, especially if they feel they may be needy or taking too much. On the...

    I think it's a difficult balance. On one hand, many people probably feel uncomfortable asking for something from a partner, especially if they feel they may be needy or taking too much. On the other hand, I think it's healthy to be able to express one's needs to their partner - depending on how they ask, it can be a reasonable act of communication, but if done poorly, it can be coercive and inappropriate. It's very hard to tell from the outside what that dynamic is, and unfortunately, I think in many cases someone's reasonable ask may appear to be unreasonable from the outside.

    Oral sex I think is a common sticking point in many relationships, but I think it's reasonable to request this from a partner even if it's not their favourite activity. (They of course have a right to say no, and to risk getting dumped.)

    An extreme example: I dated a very abusive man for way too long. He was coercive toward me regarding his sexual needs, and he revealed to me later that he knew he was asking too much of me (and I think that was part of his enjoyment). In retrospect, I should have set firmer boundaries/left that relationship must earlier, and, as you say, he should have found a different way to meet his needs.

    On the other hand, I expressed to him that I would appreciate being treated with respect, and for him to treat me nicely. He would do this periodically, but admitted he just didn't care enough to make a regular effort. On one hand, I should have left a lot earlier when I realized he was such a shithead. But I also think it was appropriate for me to ask for respect from a person who supposedly loved me. I don't think that's something I could have "taken responsibility for" independently of him.

    Is this a case where OP is physically assaulting their partner through unwanted touch? I don't know. Is this a case where the partner is a lazy asshole and can't even be bothered to make a basic token gesture of affection? I don't know. Is this a case where OP had a compromise on physical affection that no longer works for the partner? I don't know. But I don't feel comfortable assuming that OP is making some kind of mistake, especially because I think requesting physical affection from an undemonstrative partner is pretty common (and mentioned elsewhere in this thread as a reasonable compromise for that person).

    1 vote

  3. Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games

    cheep_cheep
    Link Parent
    Late request, but I very recently discovered that I have Samorost 3 but not 1 or 2. Do you by any chance still have the Samorost 2 key, and if so, would you be willing to share? Thanks a lot!

    Late request, but I very recently discovered that I have Samorost 3 but not 1 or 2. Do you by any chance still have the Samorost 2 key, and if so, would you be willing to share? Thanks a lot!

  4. Comment on Relationship troubles in ~life

    cheep_cheep
    Link Parent
    I don't think it's that strange - it's very common for two people in a relationship to not have the same libido, or to not necessarily be super into sex at the same time, but often a conversation...

    I don't think it's that strange - it's very common for two people in a relationship to not have the same libido, or to not necessarily be super into sex at the same time, but often a conversation can help illuminate if one partner's needs can be met without causing the other distress. There are plenty of other examples of compromise in relationships (chores, activities, social behaviour, love languages) and people get by ok. It may be appropriate to ask whether the partner wants to give hugs, but OP has acknowledged that receiving hugs and other forms of physical affection are important to them - if the partner genuinely does not want to do it and is uncomfortable showing physical affection, they may be incompatible, but nine years in I would also hope that if it was that much of an issue it would have been clearly articulated much earlier.

  5. Comment on Relationship troubles in ~life

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    I think there's already a lot of good advice in this thread. I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds very difficult for both of you. A couple of things: I have been in a few of the dynamics...

    I think there's already a lot of good advice in this thread. I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds very difficult for both of you.

    A couple of things:

    I have been in a few of the dynamics you've described. I dated a guy who was not into physical affection and would be visibly frustrated if I asked for a hug. That same guy also did not like when I would discuss information about our relationship with others. And I'm a person who sometimes needs a break during arguments, because I get too worked up and I can't think straight anymore, and so I need a "time-out" of sorts sometimes. This has driven some people crazy, and so these days I either power through it, ask for a ten minute "recess", or try to find ways to de-escalate. So I feel like I have a glimmer of insight into what you might be feeling.

    I think the thing that stands out to me most is that your partner, from your description, seems turned "inward" and doesn't seem to be as engaged in your relationship. If you are primarily the person making requests and explaining your needs, and he either gives one-word answers or becomes overwhelmed and leaves the room, it sounds like he is either not invested in your relationship...or he doesn't feel able to express his own feelings and needs to you. Whatever the current communication dynamic is, it seems to have broken down completely for him, and he is unable to participate. This is where counselling seems like it could help - getting toward the root cause of what's going on with him, how he's feeling, what he wants, and how he can feel able and empowered to tell you what he thinks seem really important. It's not clear from your description if this is a dynamic that has been there for a long time or if it's changed over time, but finding a way to sit back, encourage him, and listen without interrupting seems really important. If you are broken up, I'm not sure whether you'll ever get there, but it's something to think about for next time.

    The other thing that stood out to me is the ramping up of arguments into 11 territory, the de-escalation by leaving on his part, and the frequent invocation of ending the relationship during arguments. These seem like good reasons to seek therapy (and if you're able, it sounds like you should for yourself regardless), but I would be concerned that little arguments constantly blow up into big ones, and both partners invoke breaking up often. That suggests to me that you haven't figured out a way to de-escalate the situation verbally, or you are each so invested in your own hurts that you can no longer see and hear the other's. That's a big problem. If your partner feels unable to express their feelings and issues, that could be contributing to this dynamic - not to sound accusatory at all, but what is your thought process when these blowups happen? Periodically my spouse and I will get into a nitpicky period, and I try to verbalize "why are we arguing about this? Is this something we really care about? Or are we resentful about something else? I don't want to argue with you.". My husband is double plus ungood at de-escalating arguments, but if I recognize that things are getting out of control, he will allow me to put on the brakes so we can figure out why we're actually upset. I accept that role if it allows us to have a more stable dynamic. It may be worth thinking about what might be underlying your intense arguments - if you are feeling emotionally unfulfilled, or your partner doesn't seem invested, or there's some other resentment or unhappiness that's fueling your unhappiness. If you do get back together, I would think hard too about invoking "breakup" in a conversation - that's the sort of thing I would only bring up if I was at my absolute wit's end, because ending a relationship is a pretty irreversible decision, and will permanently change your relationship dynamic, even if you do get back together. It's not a good idea to throw that term around casually, but if you both really meant it, clearly there's a lot of work to be done, and a lot of changes to be made

    I don't know what the answer is, and I don't know if things are salvageable, but at the very least you can use this time to think hard about yourself, what you need, and maybe the things your partner needed that you may have missed. What could have been done differently along the way? What can you do differently for a future relationship? I wish you well, and hope you're able to find comfort.

    8 votes

  6. Comment on European Parliament achieves upgrade to air passenger rights in ~transport

    cheep_cheep
    Link Parent
    This is actually super interesting - I don't know what your experience has been living in a post-Soviet republic, but it seems like my experience growing up elsewhere (with immigrant grandparents)...

    This is actually super interesting - I don't know what your experience has been living in a post-Soviet republic, but it seems like my experience growing up elsewhere (with immigrant grandparents) was quite different from yours, and this has shaped our respective values and what we perceive to be a minor annoyance vs. a deeply foreboding or problematic trend. I never would have guessed something as mundane as airline tickets could be so divisive! So that's pretty neat. Thanks for sharing.

    For the record, I either print my passes when I check in (and use them as bookmarks) or print from home. I'm actually looking to get rid of my smartphone and go back to a flip phone, but I have so many 2FA needs through work that I literally could not do my job without it. I hate it and I try not to use my phone for mindless dicking around, but focus primarily for communication (and occasionally taking photos and checking sports scores). I don't have mobile data and I like it that way - it helps minimize being addicted to having a computer in my pocket, but it is frustrating when services assume you absolutely must have a smartphone (like parking meters). Is it appropriate for me to be a Luddite when so much of the world is constantly online? I don't know, but there are plenty of older folks and rural folks here who do not have Internet access or use smartphones, and I'd like to think there's still room for them/me in society generally.

    2 votes

  7. Comment on Gift ideas for niece who’s into sewing? in ~life.women

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    There's a lot of good ideas here already! I'm a giant craft dork, and one of the things I love doing is just wandering around a store/market/convention and looking at things. Having someone to go...

    There's a lot of good ideas here already! I'm a giant craft dork, and one of the things I love doing is just wandering around a store/market/convention and looking at things. Having someone to go with and touch the yarn/fabric and check things out is really awesome! And buying a bunch of craft supplies is always a thrill :) would you be able to take your niece physically out somewhere and wander together? Sometimes it's nice to ask someone if a colour looks good, or the feel is nice, or if the pattern looks good, or even just finding random accessories. I often go to a store with an open mind, find one aspect of a project I might like (e.g., a fabric) and then build up the rest of the project later (e.g., the pattern, the accessories, and the target person). Plus, you can spend some quality time! Win-win.

    6 votes

  8. Comment on Naruto live-action is a go - Destin Daniel Cretton to write/direct in ~anime

    cheep_cheep
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    I dutifully read fan translations of the manga for many years, but I'm scratching my head a bit at the decision to make it live action. I can only hope there will be plentiful Naruto running and...

    I dutifully read fan translations of the manga for many years, but I'm scratching my head a bit at the decision to make it live action. I can only hope there will be plentiful Naruto running and Japanese-focused translations, believe it!

    6 votes

  9. Comment on European Parliament achieves upgrade to air passenger rights in ~transport

    cheep_cheep
    Link Parent
    Thank you, I'm an ecologist by trade and I don't know all the nefarious things that my phone is doing, but I know some of them and it grosses me out.

    Thank you, I'm an ecologist by trade and I don't know all the nefarious things that my phone is doing, but I know some of them and it grosses me out.

    4 votes

  10. Comment on European Parliament achieves upgrade to air passenger rights in ~transport

    cheep_cheep
    Link Parent
    The app for me is inconvenient, because I primarily do things on a browser on a PC, not my phone. I don't download proprietary programs on my computer for no reason, because I don't know what...

    The app for me is inconvenient, because I primarily do things on a browser on a PC, not my phone. I don't download proprietary programs on my computer for no reason, because I don't know what they're doing and they don't need to be on there. I feel the same way about my phone. The internet alone has worked to do airline transactions for decades, and I really don't think Ryanair created an app just for my "convenience" or "user experience". Why do you think Reddit tries to force everyone to download their shitty app? To be nice to their users?

    It's extra effort to specifically build an app compared to making a website - why put in that extra effort unless the companies are gaining something extra from it? My stance is part principle and part experience of living in a "money first" capitalist hellhole. I don't want companies to have any of my data, and even though they get a lot of it, I'm not going to invite the obvious vampire onto my device.

    4 votes

  11. Comment on European Parliament achieves upgrade to air passenger rights in ~transport

    cheep_cheep
    Link Parent
    I don't live in Europe, but if an airline forced me to download their shitty app to use their services, yeah, I'm not using that airline. That goes for pretty much any service - forcing me to use...

    I don't live in Europe, but if an airline forced me to download their shitty app to use their services, yeah, I'm not using that airline. That goes for pretty much any service - forcing me to use their app feels like an excuse for them to harvest more of my data. There's no reason I shouldn't be able to just use their website and my email to do everything that needs to be done!

    8 votes

  12. Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games

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    Link Parent
    Key sent! I hope you have a good time with it. You are doing me the favour by taking it out of my backlog! Athletics are great! There's so many different kinds of athletes, it's really spectacular...

    Key sent! I hope you have a good time with it. You are doing me the favour by taking it out of my backlog!

    Athletics are great! There's so many different kinds of athletes, it's really spectacular seeing all the different types of skills they have. While I do love to watch people who are experts at their specific event, I also love decathlon/heptathlon, because you get to see people who are not at the most elite level for all of the events they do, but they are absolutely amazing athletes. I especially loved the 2024 Olympic decathlon event, which featured some incredible performances - I think my faves were Oiglane's pole vault, and Kaul's javelin throw - he made one throw, yelled "JAAAA", set a new Olympic record, and left immediately. Magical.

    1 vote

  13. Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games

    cheep_cheep
    Link Parent
    Key sent! That sounds like a fun balance - I hope you get to watch a good event soon with people you care about!

    Key sent! That sounds like a fun balance - I hope you get to watch a good event soon with people you care about!

    1 vote

  14. Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games

    cheep_cheep
    Link Parent
    Keys sent! West of Dead was claimed already, but the other three were all available. I hope you enjoy PC gaming - it is a different experience from consoles or handhelds, but I find some games are...

    Keys sent! West of Dead was claimed already, but the other three were all available. I hope you enjoy PC gaming - it is a different experience from consoles or handhelds, but I find some games are at their best with a keyboard and mouse. Plus all the mod options! I hope you have a great time exploring your options, and I'm sure a lot of people in this thread can make suggestions if you're curious.

  15. Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games

    cheep_cheep
    Link Parent
    Keys sent! eSports are great sporting competitions, even if they're not explicitly athletic: they require a ton of stamina, physical skill, excellent reaction times, and teamwork. I hope you enjoy...

    Keys sent! eSports are great sporting competitions, even if they're not explicitly athletic: they require a ton of stamina, physical skill, excellent reaction times, and teamwork. I hope you enjoy the event!

    1 vote

  16. Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games

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    Keys sent! buzzkill asked for Persona 5 Strikers first, so I did give the key to them - my apologies. I have played Long Live the Queen and it has a twisty plot and many hilarious ways to die!...

    Keys sent! buzzkill asked for Persona 5 Strikers first, so I did give the key to them - my apologies. I have played Long Live the Queen and it has a twisty plot and many hilarious ways to die! It's pretty elaborate, I hope you'll enjoy it.

    I think eSports should count! Similar to chess, you need a great deal of hand-eye coordination to play the game at that level, and Dota/League require you to be able to play the game well as a team while also reacting to what the other team is doing. It's pretty amazing. Not to mention how some tournaments can have 12+ hour days with multiple matches per day for days on end...it most definitely requires a lot of stamina! I haven't followed eSports much lately, but I hope the tournament is competitive, with close matches and some unexpected victories - I love a good underdog win.

  17. Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games

  18. Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games

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    Link Parent
    Keys sent! No spoilers from me - I'm not really into World Cup (and if I watched anything it would probably be the women's tournament), but I've caught a few matches lately on my Peacock...

    Keys sent! No spoilers from me - I'm not really into World Cup (and if I watched anything it would probably be the women's tournament), but I've caught a few matches lately on my Peacock subscription and it has been fun! The Telemundo commentators are clearly having a blast, and that has made it very enjoyable for me as a casual. I hope you're able to watch a few matches and remember what makes the game so enjoyable, but I totally hear where you're coming from, that corporate greed and bad influences on the sport can make the product much worse (see also: college football (USA)).

    1 vote

  19. Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games

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    Keys sent! I did unfortunately already give away Crown Trick to xavdid, who asked first - my apologies. That sounds like a fun game! It sounds like there's some pretty deep building mechanics. If...

    Keys sent! I did unfortunately already give away Crown Trick to xavdid, who asked first - my apologies.

    That sounds like a fun game! It sounds like there's some pretty deep building mechanics. If they made Quidditch into a real-life thing, maybe Pro-Bending is next?!

    1 vote

  20. Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games

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    Keys sent! I completely agree on college vs. pro football. I'm a huge CFB fan, even though my team at the moment is on a real downswing, but you can still get incredible underdog stories that...

    Keys sent! I completely agree on college vs. pro football. I'm a huge CFB fan, even though my team at the moment is on a real downswing, but you can still get incredible underdog stories that aren't really possible in the NFL (like Indiana?! What on earth...). CFB has the best sports memes, in my humble opinion, and there are so many weird, insular little things unique to the sport that make it very special. I always try to watch Iowa vs. Iowa State every year - not because I have any personal relationship with Iowa, or with its teams, nor do I expect that matchup to be good - I watch it because the game will be bad. How often can you say that and have a good time? (At least the punting is always excellent.)