cheep_cheep's recent activity
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Comment on Millennials: How do you feel about nostalgia pandering? in ~talk
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Comment on Struggling in my relationship in ~life
cheep_cheep Link ParentYou may not have done everything right, but you told your partner how you felt and asserted yourself, and that's a good first step. It is not your fault that the money situation got out of hand....You may not have done everything right, but you told your partner how you felt and asserted yourself, and that's a good first step. It is not your fault that the money situation got out of hand. You are clearly going out of your way to try to keep things working, and it sounds like you may be the only one. You are right, the debt issues and the other issues are tied together, and fixing just the debt will be temporary until it's an issue again. Keep advocating for yourself and for your kid. Hang in there.
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Comment on Struggling in my relationship in ~life
cheep_cheep LinkFirst, I want to express to you that this sounds like an exhausting situation, and it's no wonder you're struggling. It seems like most dimensions of your life are just very difficult, and your...First, I want to express to you that this sounds like an exhausting situation, and it's no wonder you're struggling. It seems like most dimensions of your life are just very difficult, and your partner doesn't seem like they're able to meet you where you're at right now. I hope you're able to find outlets for yourself to destress, as well as good people to vent to.
For context, I'll say that I was in a long-term unhealthy relationship with an abusive person. For a long, long time, I tried so hard to express to them how their behaviour hurt me, and things i needed to be happy, and they ultimately told me, in a couple of different ways, that they didn't care enough about me to do that, and ultimately, they knew I would cave and try to compromise, and they would never have to do anything. I have a strong suspicion they weee a sociopath. Anyway, I have had a few longer term relationships, and I think one of the things it's important to remember is that a relationship should be a partnership that you both want to work. There needs to be balance, and there needs to be a shared vision of how your lives together will look. I'm not a therapist, but I do echo the calls of others to see a counselor, either individually or separate, to help you navigate how to process. I would also recommend you find a way to tell your partner that you need to have a talk, a real talk, where you set boundaries and goals, because you already have one foot out the door. That can be really scary and can permanently affect the dynamics of your relationship, but it really seems like your partner doesn't respect you or your shared lives, and they seem to know that you will bend and twist yourself to make things work.
I will say too that it seems like your partner may be going through something on their end that is out of your hands. I'm not sure if it's mental health related or midlife crisis related or what, but if they're not willing to converse with you directly and they're distant from you physically and with the intimacy, there may be broader things going on that a conversation is not going to change. This is why counseling can help, but if they are going through an episode, that may make it really hard for them to seek the help they need, and so as other posters mentioned, seeking help from in-laws may help, if you feel comfortable.
Finally, I think you should consider making a list for yourself of things you want done differently in your relationship, and perhaps boundaries that need to be set. How much do you want your partner contributing to household activities? What sort of financial goals or boundaries need to be set, given their overspending habits (or compulsions)? What dynamics with your own children do you want, and are there any dynamics between you and your partner that you would like to change generally in your household? Obviously they should get the final say on their own kids, but if you feel like you're being constantly undermined or disrespected and it's affecting your relationship with your kid, articulating for yourself what you want to see change might be able to sort out the "actionable items" from the general morass of pain and exhaustion you're feeling. And as part of that list, give yourself some boundaries for when you call it quits. Is it when they tell you they'll make a change within x time and fail to do it? Is it when you reach a particular level of despair and misery? Is it when your actions around the house are ignored and nothing changes? When you have a moment of calm, setting thresholds for yourself and actually sticking to them I think could be really helpful for you, especially given that this is your first long-term relationship. I set boundaries for myself and let them get crossed over and over because I thought my ex would change, and they had no intention of doing it. I should have left years earlier, which would have saved me a lot of heartache and a good deal of trauma that I still carry with me. It wasn't worth it - I should have left the first time I noticed a problem.
This isn't your fault. It sounds like you have tried really hard to keep the ship afloat, but you can't do that by yourself indefinitely, and it isn't fair to you to have to do these things by yourself. I hope you reach out to trusted people who know the situation and ask for their advice; let them know that you can't do this much longer and that things need to change. In many ways, the relationship is familiar, and that may make it scary to leave, but you are getting hardly any of your needs met, and you are allowing your own happiness to be sacrificed in the name of stability. You deserve better than that. I hope you find a solution that gives you solace, and I wish you the best of luck.
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Comment on New guidance to feed babies peanuts early and often helped thousands of kids avoid allergies in ~food
cheep_cheep Link ParentI agree. To add on to some of the issues with medical science, while controlled trials and studies are great, the statistics most frequently used to evaluate them can be really problematic,...I agree. To add on to some of the issues with medical science, while controlled trials and studies are great, the statistics most frequently used to evaluate them can be really problematic, especially because when using a large enough sample size, you can sort of hack your way to "significant" results. It's kind of wild how much of medical trials come down to "is it slightly better than no treatment, statistically? Great!"
I think the best points to remember are that many studies don't have a ton of replication, and there also exist conflicting studies that may call those results into question (especially depending on what the studied treatment population is, which may not extrapolate particularly well to the global population). When media gets hold of these results, many of the nuances and caveats may be overlooked, and with social media and the increasingly concise nature of information snippets, this can lead to movements that militantly support an interpretation of science that may not be justified, but it can be hard to tell when you have a peanut case or when you have a vaccine case, and so probably some degree of reading and asking multiple experts is a good idea. Having some idea of the biological relationships behind medical advice (e.g., the introduction of allergens early can reduce their effects later) can maybe help a bit with sussing out realities, but sometimes science is just wrong. We muddle through the best we can, but the nature of investigations (posing a question and comparing different potential explanations) can unfortunately lead to a lot of bias.
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Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk
cheep_cheep Link ParentInteresting! I haven't driven much in LA, but my impression was that there was too much traffic for me to make many inferences on driver behaviour. Bay Area traffic could be terrible, whether at...Interesting! I haven't driven much in LA, but my impression was that there was too much traffic for me to make many inferences on driver behaviour. Bay Area traffic could be terrible, whether at rush hour or weekends when everyone returns to the city - I was always surprised at just how many people were on the roads at any hour of the day or night!
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Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk
cheep_cheep Link ParentI lived in the Bay Area for awhile and this was not my experience at all. Left-side exits or entrances were no more common than they are in other parts of the States, nor were any other lane...I lived in the Bay Area for awhile and this was not my experience at all. Left-side exits or entrances were no more common than they are in other parts of the States, nor were any other lane configurations. Even without them, people would regularly drive under the speed limit in the leftmost lane - like, multiple times per drive, in areas with no special lanes. I personally would attribute the behaviour entirely to driving culture.
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Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk
cheep_cheep Link ParentThat's perfect! I can feel the movement getting stronger already!!That's perfect! I can feel the movement getting stronger already!!
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Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk
cheep_cheep LinkSome of the takes in here are pretty heavy, so here's something a little less serious: All other directional pairs of US states are balanced (North and South Dakota, Carolina), and then you get...Some of the takes in here are pretty heavy, so here's something a little less serious:
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All other directional pairs of US states are balanced (North and South Dakota, Carolina), and then you get West Virginia. WV is a convenient acronym, and so I think they should rename Virginia to East Virginia for geographical name balance. I will also accept "Big" and "Little" Virginia, although "Little Virginia, mountain momma" doesn't have quite the same ring.
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I am all for gender equality, but nipples look funny, and some are really off-putting. I think everyone should be mandated to cover their ugly nipples equally. Swimming, beaching, MMA - put all the nipples away!
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Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk
cheep_cheep Link ParentAgreed on principle, but the issue is now you have to rhyme with "reef" - beef? Leaf?Agreed on principle, but the issue is now you have to rhyme with "reef" - beef? Leaf?
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Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk
cheep_cheep Link ParentI think this varies a lot depending on where you live. When there's only two lanes, having room to pass is important, but sometimes there's so much traffic that it's just not feasible for awhile....I think this varies a lot depending on where you live. When there's only two lanes, having room to pass is important, but sometimes there's so much traffic that it's just not feasible for awhile. When there are more lanes, I've found that different places that have culturally very different approaches to lane rules - much of the Midwest is pretty respectful about leaving the left lane for fast traffic (although Chicago is just straight chaos), whereas in central California I found people just drove wherever, and lane speed is constantly changing. I prefer having the lane hierarchy so that I can "choose my driving adventure" (and leave the really impatient drivers to their own lane); I find the "free for all" dynamic stressful and really dangerous, because the impatient drivers just weave in and out of traffic while leaving very little space between cars.
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Comment on ‘I realised I’d been ChatGPT-ed into bed’: how ‘Chatfishing’ made finding love on dating apps even weirder in ~tech
cheep_cheep Link ParentI hear you, but I'd like to think most people won't use it quite that way. I can see how someone might get sucked into using LLMs in a way where they could filter the entire world through it and...I hear you, but I'd like to think most people won't use it quite that way. I can see how someone might get sucked into using LLMs in a way where they could filter the entire world through it and lose the delightful nuances of human connection in the process (and you would notice it in real life by watching them use their phone obsessively). But I remember, in the long decades before LLMs, sometimes being baffled by conversations and texts I had with men I was romantically entangled with in real life, and then sending texts and chats to friends so we could parse what was happening. Usually the best advice was always "just ask him", or, if he continues to be cryptic and lacking a backbone, "don't bother with his jackassery". But I'm a bit amused to see that in some ways, asking an LLM to help you understand someone's behaviour is a modern interpretation of asking friends for advice.
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Comment on ‘I realised I’d been ChatGPT-ed into bed’: how ‘Chatfishing’ made finding love on dating apps even weirder in ~tech
cheep_cheep Link ParentOh my goodness, I forgot about the "just ask" people! I was always baffled how putting up a single grainy photo of yourself and your ex (with their face blacked out) and a two-word profile seemed...Oh my goodness, I forgot about the "just ask" people! I was always baffled how putting up a single grainy photo of yourself and your ex (with their face blacked out) and a two-word profile seemed like it was going to be successful dating strategy. All of those signs to me were major red flags of "this jackass can't be bothered to take a photo of themselves, they put in no effort to talk about themselves, and they expect me to do all the work." Classic.
With all the generative technologies at their fingertips now, they could in theory create a whole new person with photos and videos instead of actually trying to be forthcoming!
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Comment on ‘I realised I’d been ChatGPT-ed into bed’: how ‘Chatfishing’ made finding love on dating apps even weirder in ~tech
cheep_cheep Link ParentEverything you describe I think is why people hate online dating in particular. Dating sucks, and it sucks even harder online. When I was in the online dating pool, my last boyfriend had been an...Everything you describe I think is why people hate online dating in particular. Dating sucks, and it sucks even harder online. When I was in the online dating pool, my last boyfriend had been an abusive jackass, and I was still reeling from that relationship (although I didn't totally realize it at the time). I went on a date so bad that I cried when I got home, and my misery increased when he asked to see me again. Looking back on it now, I don't think there's any way I would have dated him had I known him in real life first, which is why Dan Savage recommends it - there's a lot you can learn about a person by spending ten minutes with them in a public place, which no amount of online chats are necessarily going to reveal to you. I agree that it's completely exhausting, and it's not particularly appealing for people with social anxiety (like me!), but if you find someone you like, the idea is to go talk to them in person as soon as you can to look for any red flags. Dating still sucks, and will still suck, even if you find people who seem worth talking to.
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Comment on ‘I realised I’d been ChatGPT-ed into bed’: how ‘Chatfishing’ made finding love on dating apps even weirder in ~tech
cheep_cheep Link ParentWe are in complete agreement on this front, I was just trying to describe how users in the article were treating the model.We are in complete agreement on this front, I was just trying to describe how users in the article were treating the model.
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Comment on ‘I realised I’d been ChatGPT-ed into bed’: how ‘Chatfishing’ made finding love on dating apps even weirder in ~tech
cheep_cheep Link ParentI'm sure that's true, but in the article, a lot of the context seems to be more asking ChatGPT what to do next. "This guy is so hot, I really want to make it work! What should I do?!". And then...I'm sure that's true, but in the article, a lot of the context seems to be more asking ChatGPT what to do next. "This guy is so hot, I really want to make it work! What should I do?!". And then the model gives a few options, which the human can then select. In these cases, it seems more like a helpful and infinitely patient all-knowing assistant to one's incompetent executive.
Reading some of the horror stories on here, though, I'm sure there are cases where these models could get really dark and inappropriate, which is also concerning.
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Comment on ‘I realised I’d been ChatGPT-ed into bed’: how ‘Chatfishing’ made finding love on dating apps even weirder in ~tech
cheep_cheep Link ParentThe thing that is troubling is that a lot of anecdotes in the article start as "I used it for one thing early on...and before I knew it, I ran every line of the convo through ChatGPT." It seems...The thing that is troubling is that a lot of anecdotes in the article start as "I used it for one thing early on...and before I knew it, I ran every line of the convo through ChatGPT." It seems that a sizable proportion of people want to use it honestly and responsibly, but as the stakes rise, they feel like they need to depend on AI tools more, and so they go down the slippery slope. What a mess!
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Comment on ‘I realised I’d been ChatGPT-ed into bed’: how ‘Chatfishing’ made finding love on dating apps even weirder in ~tech
cheep_cheep LinkWow, I feel really torn about this. On one hand, I would be livid if someone who is a one-word texter used AI tools to "outsource" their dating habits; when I used to do the online dating thing, I...Wow, I feel really torn about this. On one hand, I would be livid if someone who is a one-word texter used AI tools to "outsource" their dating habits; when I used to do the online dating thing, I would think really carefully about the other person, and try to write thoughtful responses. The way some of the anecdotes in here sound, it's like trying to fluff the language to get a better deal at the local market. Gross. On the other hand, I really appreciated the perspective of the autistic person who said it helped them decode their date's behaviour - that does seem like a really useful tool, and especially when there's so much stigma around neurodivergence, I could see that being a helpful way to get to know someone initially without them being judgmental in a reactionary way.
As a happily married person, I hope to the bottom of my heart that I will not have to deal this myself ever, but Dan Savage's advice of "go meet them in person as soon as possible" rings very true! Don't fall in online like with someone, only to be terribly disappointed by the reality upon meeting them in person. As if online dating didn't already suck, the addition of AI makes it sound so so so much worse.
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Comment on Humble Choice - October 2025 in ~games
cheep_cheep Link ParentThat's interesting, thanks for sharing. I have always found the NPCs to be pretty hit or miss in all farming sim games, and for reasons I can't quite pinpoint, I don't like the NPCs in Stardew...That's interesting, thanks for sharing. I have always found the NPCs to be pretty hit or miss in all farming sim games, and for reasons I can't quite pinpoint, I don't like the NPCs in Stardew Valley at all, they feel almost oppressive to me. Harvest Moon always seems to have a variety of quirky and tropey characters, and I didn't find this entry much different from others I've played (aside maybe from the really out there characters - there isn't anyone too odd). That probably explains a lot of the differences between your expectations and mine.
I never played the old console games, but my SIL has, and I don't think I could ever get into them myself. The mechanics look so clunky and it took her forever to do anything, and the graphics really sucked (and I still play PS1 games from the original disc - I'm not typically a graphics snob). I imagine a lot of her attachment to the games is nostalgia and comfort with the characters and setting, much like you describe, but as an outsider it is pretty baffling! I play on an older but still serviceable PC, and I appreciate the mechanics in Olive Town that let me get around quickly (moped) and visit whomever. I'll note too that in some version of the DLC (my version came with this), there are islands with villagers from other games, none of whom I know personally, but my SIL got excited about them. So that may be one bone for the nostalgia folks, though I don't know if that's a good or bad thing based on execution! Overall I found Olive Town very satisfying as a farming sim, especially because I like being the anti-social curmudgeon outside town obsessively micromanaging their turnip harvest...
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Comment on Humble Choice - October 2025 in ~games
cheep_cheep (edited )Link ParentI actually own Pioneers of Olive Town (sent as a gift during COVID years ago) and I adore this game. I've played some of the Harvest Moon handheld titles primarily, so I've played other titles...I actually own Pioneers of Olive Town (sent as a gift during COVID years ago) and I adore this game. I've played some of the Harvest Moon handheld titles primarily, so I've played other titles before, and I vastly prefer Olive Town to Stardew.
I can't speak to what people like about the older Harvest Moon games - I have no idea, and I don't totally understand their criticisms. But I can tell you that what I like about Olive Town is that there are a lot of different farming mechanics I like (regular crops, orchards, flowers and honey, mushrooms), you can unlock permanent "season" areas where you can grow crops in that particular season, there are various unlockable animals, and there are a lot of "secondary" products you can make via makers (or just through your inventory). You gain access to more options as you skills level up. I personally find the farming, processing, and gathering mechanics to be a lot more satisfying than Stardew. Cooking is also a million times better in Olive Town, and the mission-based quest lines, too. Both games have a fishing mechanic, and I think they're roughly equal (and frustrating in their own way).
I can't say I totally understand why people love Stardew Valley so much (it seems like a NA Harvest Moon clone with pixel graphics), but relationships and storylines are probably better in Stardew. Stardew's dungeoning is definitely more complex, although there are a few in Olive Town and they're implemented well. Clemens also doesn't steal your gear for days when he's upgrading it! I have found that when using makers for processing, they can take up a lot of space, but I think the options for what you can make are a lot deeper in Olive Town. I personally prefer the cartoony graphics in Olive Town. There is a deeper modding base for Stardew, but the only mod I've really wanted lately is a time manipulator, so I can actually do all the things I want during the day! (The shipping box in Olive Town is also comically small.)
Basically, I never play Stardew anymore, but I play Olive Town regularly. It is my happy zen place. I may be the odd one out, but I want to push back on the disdain I see for modern Harvest Moon - I think the games are pretty complex and intricate, and while I have no idea what nostalgia people are chasing that causes them such unhappiness, Olive Town is one of my favourite games currently, even years after getting it. As part of the bundle, it's a great deal!
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Comment on What common misunderstanding do you want to clear up? in ~talk
cheep_cheep Link ParentYou're right! That's fantastic!You're right! That's fantastic!
Agreed. Do Revenge was also a great film steeped in nostalgia that referenced a lot of millennial touchstones, and I loved it.