cheep_cheep's recent activity
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Comment on 2026 preseason AP college football rankings in ~sports.american_football
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Comment on Sleep struggles: how do I get better sleep quality? in ~life
cheep_cheep LinkSpecifically for dark and terrible thoughts: I used to wake up and have panic attacks when I was in grad school, which would spiral into a doom circle that I really didn't need. In addition to all...Specifically for dark and terrible thoughts: I used to wake up and have panic attacks when I was in grad school, which would spiral into a doom circle that I really didn't need. In addition to all the other advice here, the most important skills I learned for leaving (and staying out of) the doom spiral were a few mindfulness tricks.
First, recognize that you're in a doom spiral. You don't want to be in there! Dooming isn't going to do anything positive for you. Once you know you're in the doom spiral, I use a sensory game to break the cycle and get my breathing back to normal. I usually do this when I'm still in bed and with my eyes closed, but if you've abandoned sleep you can add visual cues as well. Basically, go down your five senses and focus on one thing you can see or hear to start with. Start by identifying one thing. Take a deep breath. And then find a second thing. Take a deep breath. Etc. I learned to do this awake and eyes open with 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. You can mix and match the senses as needed, but take a deep, slow breath between each one. I have found that I never need to go through the whole list, and usually I'm pretty calm by the time I get to the end of 4.
The goal is to stop the panic and misery, so whatever trick you have works - this one worked really well for me, especially when I was lying in bed and wondering what I was doing with my life and judging all my prior life choices. You're doing a tough and important job, and I hope you're able to relax enough to get some sleep. It's incredibly frustrating to be tired and not able to get the rest you need, so I hope some of the advice in this thread helps!
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Comment on 2026 preseason AP college football rankings in ~sports.american_football
cheep_cheep LinkI'm really curious to see how Indiana will do this year. Given that they now have a target on their back and they no longer have Mendoza, what happens? I do like the underdog story (but as a...I'm really curious to see how Indiana will do this year. Given that they now have a target on their back and they no longer have Mendoza, what happens? I do like the underdog story (but as a conference rival wish them also back to the basement so I can laugh at them). Still, I do prefer them to the usual overlords, if I had to choose.
I don't follow off-season activities much, but I'm curious too to see how ND, Bama, Texas, and USC respond. I would say that all of them had disappointing seasons relative to their expectations, and so I wobder how they might rebound this season. Similarly, I want to know what happens with BYU and Ole Miss, given they exceeded expectations last year.
For pure rage content, curious to see what happens with LSU and TTU, too. They are on my hate watch list for sure. And, of course, looking forward to El Assico, hope there is excellent punting and terrible offense (which is a normal day for Iowa football).
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Comment on Any other tenure-track faculty on Tildes? in ~talk
cheep_cheep LinkI have a toe in academia; my postdoc funding got cut recently and sent me off into the beyond, but I have always had an uneasy relationship with academia. Getting a TT position at an R1 University...I have a toe in academia; my postdoc funding got cut recently and sent me off into the beyond, but I have always had an uneasy relationship with academia. Getting a TT position at an R1 University is an incredible feat, so congrats! More importantly, I would ask you what about the fit is not working for you. Is it this specific institution? Is it the location? Is it these students? Or do you think it might be academia in general?
I think the horrors of the lead up to tenure are well-documented, and the general idea is that you work your ass off for a few years, achieve tenure, and then have the ability to relax and settle in. The nice thing about achieving tenure is that it gives you leverage to "shop around" - you can leverage your tenured position and move to another location or institution that might be a better fit. So if it's something specific to this institution, there may be a way forward and out, if you can power through to tenure review.
On the other hand, if you just really don't think academia is for you...what are the considerations keeping you here? While uprooting a family can be hard, and I imagine "dropping out" from a TT position can feel galling, so much of my experiences in academia revolved around stress, self-loathing, and general misery. That was true in grad school, that was true in my postdoc, and it was/is true to some extent on the job market. There is so much nastiness and judgment that is completely unnecessary. And there are a lot of jobs out there that can pay well, have almost zero prestige, and probably make you feel much happier in the long run. So I would encourage you to do a self-inventory - how do you feel about your academic experiences thus far? Are you in good working order? If not, for how long? Would this be ameliorated by getting tenure? Or is this a long-running unhealthiness?
You are important, and you are more than just your CV. Being healthy and emotionally available to your family is an important thing, and I encourage you to think about who you want to be for the people on your life. If you are having major mental health struggles, it does sound like this is not a great fit, but before you make a decision, check and see if there are any resources at your institution that might offer support specifically for TT or junior faculty - I imagine this happens pretty regularly and they may have resources to help, or to help you make a decision.
Final thoughts: at my grad school, there was a TT couple who were brilliant but miserable. They were both incredibly capable, and one of them in particular was consulted constantly for her expertise and was involved in almost every graduate project in our department. Neither of them got tenure, which was kind of shocking. Last I heard, they moved to her home country and he started working in landscaping, where he spends time outside mowing lawns and working with his hands. He is apparently having the best time, and does not miss academia one iota. You don't have to stay, despite all the work you've done to get here, and it's possible that an entire change of employment scenery may be what you need. Talk to your family and see what they think, too - my spouse has told me that academia makes me stressed, stressful, and hard to be around, and I do value his opinion and well-being, too.
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Comment on Others that also have an aversion to onions, when is it OK? in ~food
cheep_cheep Link ParentHear, hear. Why do people insist on sticking things in people's food even after you say no? I've experienced it with onions, but I've seen in too with veganism and vegetarians and vegetables and...Hear, hear. Why do people insist on sticking things in people's food even after you say no? I've experienced it with onions, but I've seen in too with veganism and vegetarians and vegetables and nuts and sesame - don't put shit in people's food when they ask you not to.
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Comment on Others that also have an aversion to onions, when is it OK? in ~food
cheep_cheep Link ParentI know we live in an era of judgment, but the number of people who associate not eating certain foods with being "spoiled" or "childish" is higher than I expected. Roughly half the time I tell a...I know we live in an era of judgment, but the number of people who associate not eating certain foods with being "spoiled" or "childish" is higher than I expected. Roughly half the time I tell a friend that I have a weird palate, their expression goes flat and they start giving me "advice" on how to eat better. They do not seem to understand that I have worked very hard to get to where I am today, and that I have a genuine physical difference in how I experience eating. It would be really cool to walk into a restaurant and just order whatever I want on the menu! I think they think I have a lack of willpower, or I'm doing it because I want attention. I don't know. But it's nice to hear about other people who feel similarly!
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Comment on Others that also have an aversion to onions, when is it OK? in ~food
cheep_cheep Link ParentI would say that a lot of my favourite/preferred foods have "fewer" ingredients and tend to have a lot less sauce compared to what "normal" people seem to eat, but you are totally right that some...I would say that a lot of my favourite/preferred foods have "fewer" ingredients and tend to have a lot less sauce compared to what "normal" people seem to eat, but you are totally right that some cuisines just naturally fit my palate! Simple meals tend to work well for me (I find Japanese menus always have lot of different dishes I can eat, as well as most Italian food), but I also appreciate cuisines that are able to marinate and blend the flavours nicely. I've had so many different kinds of lo mein and fried rice and dumplings and rolls that have a lot of different veggies in them (including onions!) that I don't mind eating because the flavours are so well balanced and the onions don't overwhelm. It's awesome. So usually a local Chinese restaurant cooks onions well, but, for example, today we had a catered lunch from a local American restaurant at work where the whole salad was just covered in raw red onions. sigh. I haven't tried a lot of sake, but that is a neat idea! If you have any other ideas for fun simple dishes, I do like trying out new combos with a small number of ingredients. Thanks!
I also appreciate cuisines that offer a variety of different ingredients and kind of let you "build" a bite - I know pho does this, and this is also awesome for me. I can take a little bit of an ingredient that might be overwhelming, and pair it with something or switch back to it later, and it gives me the agency to choose which parts of the meal I want to eat and when. And that's pretty awesome! Hotpot is also great, in that you can literally choose which ingredients you add and how they blend together, and this is also a very fun experience, especially because the broth changes over the course of the meal. I don't mind the flavour of onions in a soup, I just don't want to gnaw on one.
I grew up in the land of casseroles (aka the American Midwest), and I feel like it depends on the casserole. I have seen some diabolical ones (green bean casserole that even the smell of turned my stomach), but I have had some really solid corn and potato casseroles. The trick is figuring out if it's an edible casserole or not...I've been tricked by casseroles (and quiches) more than once!
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Comment on Others that also have an aversion to onions, when is it OK? in ~food
cheep_cheep LinkI'm like you - I can't do onions, especially if they're raw. For me, onions are a dual threat - the flavour of raw onions is so overpowering that a single stray speck of it will "pollute" anything...I'm like you - I can't do onions, especially if they're raw. For me, onions are a dual threat - the flavour of raw onions is so overpowering that a single stray speck of it will "pollute" anything else I'm eating - I will taste nothing but onions all day, regardless of what else I eat or what kind of mouthwash I try to use to get rid of it. It's immensely frustrating. Even if an onion has been touching food and then removed, it's strong enough for that reaction for me - it doesn't have to be present anymore for it to be a problem. The texture of onions is also gross for me, especially when they're in the floppy cooked stage. The way I've dealt with onions in my food is 1) avoid them like the plague or 2) dice them finely and caramelize them, especially with a lot of butter. My family had a few dishes which basically caramelize onions into a butter soup before adding them to food, and if I can't tell they're part of a meal, it's ok (although I still feel a bit of unease about it).
I'm not sure of your palate situation, but I'm pretty certain that I'm a supertaster. For anyone not familiar, I taste food differently from what is "normal". To be totally honest, it sucks. The balance of flavours is off - things with onions or peppers get overwhelmed easily by those flavours, and so what I taste is not what is intended by the chef. Things with a lot of flavours (like a seven topping pizza) also become so complex that my brain interprets it as "this is a disgusting mess". I don't know any other way to describe it. There are other flavours that I'm more sensitive to, like bitter and "fatty" flavours, which can become overwhelming (I can't eat much of them before needing to stop). On the other hand, I can appreciate really subtle flavours, like different kinds of rice or breads with a bit of oil and herbs. By and large, though, I find that a lot of foods contain items that my brain and body do not consider "good food", and so I have to be exceedingly careful where I eat and what I order.
I have been accused by a lot of different adults of being "picky", including the hilarious "have you tried harder to eat food that is gross to you?". I, in fact, have! Once I was able to cook for myself, I could combine different foods and ingredients into more complex dishes, but I kind of had to explore the "food space" for myself. My palate is so weird that I kind of have to test each new combination out myself, and if someone throws in a "secret ingredient", it can be a nasty surprise. This has caused me a great deal of food anxiety - I have been at dinner parties and eaten something I thought was ok, accidentally started eating something not compatible, and have had to discreetly find a way to discard it into a napkin without puking. Because that's the other fun side of my food aversions - if my brain thinks what I'm eating is "not food", I have an intense gag/puke reaction. What fun!
For anyone convinced that picky eaters just aren't trying, that is not my experience - it is an ongoing, neverending process, and being "adventurous" often ends up with me feeling gross or unable to enjoy my food. It is not fun. It's primarily just stressful, not to mention stigmatizing. I don't get why people feel so strongly about what other people eat, but I do my best to try not to eat around people I don't know very often. So for you, fellow onion not-enjoyer, I see you, and I hear you. Onions are usually gross and I don't want them anywhere near my food.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
cheep_cheep Link ParentI'm so glad to hear you enjoyed it! My spouse loves chess puzzles, but he wasn't interested in Shotgun King - his loss! That's cool that it lets you modify the "rules" of the game, and it does...I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed it! My spouse loves chess puzzles, but he wasn't interested in Shotgun King - his loss! That's cool that it lets you modify the "rules" of the game, and it does sound like it would add a lot of replayability.
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Comment on Is there a way to filter out everything posted by a user? in ~tildes
cheep_cheep Link ParentI hear what you're saying, but I've heard consistently that people will post really inappropriate and insensitive things in the LGBT threads, which specifically make our LGBT users feel...I hear what you're saying, but I've heard consistently that people will post really inappropriate and insensitive things in the LGBT threads, which specifically make our LGBT users feel uncomfortable. I don't always recognize when this is happening, and it shouldn't be the burden of our LGBT users to tolerate shitty people or have to try and argue for their humanity. I don't want that to be a requirement for this community.
I do read a fair amount of misogynistic posts, and I would definitely appreciate a filter to remove posts from my feed from repeat offenders. I don't come here to argue with assholes, I come here for the happy friendship fun time and game exchanges.
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Comment on Women should be able to open things in ~life.women
cheep_cheep Link ParentYes!! This came up recently at a CPR class I was taking and I was completely horrified. My family will not throw me in the trash if a boob pops out for all to see! Please save my life before my...Yes!! This came up recently at a CPR class I was taking and I was completely horrified. My family will not throw me in the trash if a boob pops out for all to see! Please save my life before my propriety!
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Comment on Women should be able to open things in ~life.women
cheep_cheep Link ParentYou mean you don't immediately feel that making something pink or purple means it's for you?! What else are they supposed to do??? (I feel similarly, and if a product "for women" only comes in...You mean you don't immediately feel that making something pink or purple means it's for you?! What else are they supposed to do??? (I feel similarly, and if a product "for women" only comes in those colours usually I look to see if there's another brand available...)
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Comment on Women should be able to open things in ~life.women
cheep_cheep Link ParentI live in a rare household where my husband asks me to open things - roughly 9/10 times I can do it, but sometimes I'm tired or the lid chews up my hand skin and I just don't have the will to get...I live in a rare household where my husband asks me to open things - roughly 9/10 times I can do it, but sometimes I'm tired or the lid chews up my hand skin and I just don't have the will to get to the end. I have relatively good grip strength (I need to use a lot of different kinds of pliers at work), but I also have several injuries that limit my arm functions - at a recent function test I think I scored "average" for a 5'6 woman. I think to some degree it's a case of technique for jars, but as mentioned above there is a general issue where seat belts, kevlar vests, life vests, and other safety items that are supposed to be form fitting are not designed for women at all - they are designed for men, and it genuinely leads to increased hazards for women, because the designers never took boobs into account. It's scary to think about and frankly unconscionable. I'm glad to hear that finally they're using female "shaped" crash test dummies, but it really should not have taken this long to get there. I do worry that my car's airbags might kill me or seriously mess me up if I get into an accident.
On the other hand, when I broke my wrist a few years ago I no longer had the manual dexterity to open jars while I was wearing a cast, and it felt very foolish to call a friend to come over and open something for me. I figured out a technique where if I placed the jar between the arches of my feet, it would hold the jar firmly and I could twist easily with my good arm. The fact that this was the necessary way for me to open thing when alone brings up a whole new set of questions, especially for people with disabilities, but for anyone out there struggling and who doesn't have a gripper pancake, the foot-anchor method may work for you? (Also put less strain on my wrists and messed up my skin less.)
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Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games
cheep_cheep Link ParentMany thanks! The art style looks really cool, I'm looking forward to playing it.Many thanks! The art style looks really cool, I'm looking forward to playing it.
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Comment on Relationship troubles in ~life
cheep_cheep (edited )Link ParentI think it's a difficult balance. On one hand, many people probably feel uncomfortable asking for something from a partner, especially if they feel they may be needy or taking too much. On the...I think it's a difficult balance. On one hand, many people probably feel uncomfortable asking for something from a partner, especially if they feel they may be needy or taking too much. On the other hand, I think it's healthy to be able to express one's needs to their partner - depending on how they ask, it can be a reasonable act of communication, but if done poorly, it can be coercive and inappropriate. It's very hard to tell from the outside what that dynamic is, and unfortunately, I think in many cases someone's reasonable ask may appear to be unreasonable from the outside.
Oral sex I think is a common sticking point in many relationships, but I think it's reasonable to request this from a partner even if it's not their favourite activity. (They of course have a right to say no, and to risk getting dumped.)
An extreme example: I dated a very abusive man for way too long. He was coercive toward me regarding his sexual needs, and he revealed to me later that he knew he was asking too much of me (and I think that was part of his enjoyment). In retrospect, I should have set firmer boundaries/left that relationship must earlier, and, as you say, he should have found a different way to meet his needs.
On the other hand, I expressed to him that I would appreciate being treated with respect, and for him to treat me nicely. He would do this periodically, but admitted he just didn't care enough to make a regular effort. On one hand, I should have left a lot earlier when I realized he was such a shithead. But I also think it was appropriate for me to ask for respect from a person who supposedly loved me. I don't think that's something I could have "taken responsibility for" independently of him.
Is this a case where OP is physically assaulting their partner through unwanted touch? I don't know. Is this a case where the partner is a lazy asshole and can't even be bothered to make a basic token gesture of affection? I don't know. Is this a case where OP had a compromise on physical affection that no longer works for the partner? I don't know. But I don't feel comfortable assuming that OP is making some kind of mistake, especially because I think requesting physical affection from an undemonstrative partner is pretty common (and mentioned elsewhere in this thread as a reasonable compromise for that person).
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Comment on Tildes Game Giveaway: June 2026 in ~games
cheep_cheep Link ParentLate request, but I very recently discovered that I have Samorost 3 but not 1 or 2. Do you by any chance still have the Samorost 2 key, and if so, would you be willing to share? Thanks a lot!Late request, but I very recently discovered that I have Samorost 3 but not 1 or 2. Do you by any chance still have the Samorost 2 key, and if so, would you be willing to share? Thanks a lot!
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Comment on Relationship troubles in ~life
cheep_cheep Link ParentI don't think it's that strange - it's very common for two people in a relationship to not have the same libido, or to not necessarily be super into sex at the same time, but often a conversation...I don't think it's that strange - it's very common for two people in a relationship to not have the same libido, or to not necessarily be super into sex at the same time, but often a conversation can help illuminate if one partner's needs can be met without causing the other distress. There are plenty of other examples of compromise in relationships (chores, activities, social behaviour, love languages) and people get by ok. It may be appropriate to ask whether the partner wants to give hugs, but OP has acknowledged that receiving hugs and other forms of physical affection are important to them - if the partner genuinely does not want to do it and is uncomfortable showing physical affection, they may be incompatible, but nine years in I would also hope that if it was that much of an issue it would have been clearly articulated much earlier.
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Comment on Relationship troubles in ~life
cheep_cheep LinkI think there's already a lot of good advice in this thread. I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds very difficult for both of you. A couple of things: I have been in a few of the dynamics...I think there's already a lot of good advice in this thread. I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds very difficult for both of you.
A couple of things:
I have been in a few of the dynamics you've described. I dated a guy who was not into physical affection and would be visibly frustrated if I asked for a hug. That same guy also did not like when I would discuss information about our relationship with others. And I'm a person who sometimes needs a break during arguments, because I get too worked up and I can't think straight anymore, and so I need a "time-out" of sorts sometimes. This has driven some people crazy, and so these days I either power through it, ask for a ten minute "recess", or try to find ways to de-escalate. So I feel like I have a glimmer of insight into what you might be feeling.
I think the thing that stands out to me most is that your partner, from your description, seems turned "inward" and doesn't seem to be as engaged in your relationship. If you are primarily the person making requests and explaining your needs, and he either gives one-word answers or becomes overwhelmed and leaves the room, it sounds like he is either not invested in your relationship...or he doesn't feel able to express his own feelings and needs to you. Whatever the current communication dynamic is, it seems to have broken down completely for him, and he is unable to participate. This is where counselling seems like it could help - getting toward the root cause of what's going on with him, how he's feeling, what he wants, and how he can feel able and empowered to tell you what he thinks seem really important. It's not clear from your description if this is a dynamic that has been there for a long time or if it's changed over time, but finding a way to sit back, encourage him, and listen without interrupting seems really important. If you are broken up, I'm not sure whether you'll ever get there, but it's something to think about for next time.
The other thing that stood out to me is the ramping up of arguments into 11 territory, the de-escalation by leaving on his part, and the frequent invocation of ending the relationship during arguments. These seem like good reasons to seek therapy (and if you're able, it sounds like you should for yourself regardless), but I would be concerned that little arguments constantly blow up into big ones, and both partners invoke breaking up often. That suggests to me that you haven't figured out a way to de-escalate the situation verbally, or you are each so invested in your own hurts that you can no longer see and hear the other's. That's a big problem. If your partner feels unable to express their feelings and issues, that could be contributing to this dynamic - not to sound accusatory at all, but what is your thought process when these blowups happen? Periodically my spouse and I will get into a nitpicky period, and I try to verbalize "why are we arguing about this? Is this something we really care about? Or are we resentful about something else? I don't want to argue with you.". My husband is double plus ungood at de-escalating arguments, but if I recognize that things are getting out of control, he will allow me to put on the brakes so we can figure out why we're actually upset. I accept that role if it allows us to have a more stable dynamic. It may be worth thinking about what might be underlying your intense arguments - if you are feeling emotionally unfulfilled, or your partner doesn't seem invested, or there's some other resentment or unhappiness that's fueling your unhappiness. If you do get back together, I would think hard too about invoking "breakup" in a conversation - that's the sort of thing I would only bring up if I was at my absolute wit's end, because ending a relationship is a pretty irreversible decision, and will permanently change your relationship dynamic, even if you do get back together. It's not a good idea to throw that term around casually, but if you both really meant it, clearly there's a lot of work to be done, and a lot of changes to be made
I don't know what the answer is, and I don't know if things are salvageable, but at the very least you can use this time to think hard about yourself, what you need, and maybe the things your partner needed that you may have missed. What could have been done differently along the way? What can you do differently for a future relationship? I wish you well, and hope you're able to find comfort.
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Comment on European Parliament achieves upgrade to air passenger rights in ~transport
cheep_cheep Link ParentThis is actually super interesting - I don't know what your experience has been living in a post-Soviet republic, but it seems like my experience growing up elsewhere (with immigrant grandparents)...This is actually super interesting - I don't know what your experience has been living in a post-Soviet republic, but it seems like my experience growing up elsewhere (with immigrant grandparents) was quite different from yours, and this has shaped our respective values and what we perceive to be a minor annoyance vs. a deeply foreboding or problematic trend. I never would have guessed something as mundane as airline tickets could be so divisive! So that's pretty neat. Thanks for sharing.
For the record, I either print my passes when I check in (and use them as bookmarks) or print from home. I'm actually looking to get rid of my smartphone and go back to a flip phone, but I have so many 2FA needs through work that I literally could not do my job without it. I hate it and I try not to use my phone for mindless dicking around, but focus primarily for communication (and occasionally taking photos and checking sports scores). I don't have mobile data and I like it that way - it helps minimize being addicted to having a computer in my pocket, but it is frustrating when services assume you absolutely must have a smartphone (like parking meters). Is it appropriate for me to be a Luddite when so much of the world is constantly online? I don't know, but there are plenty of older folks and rural folks here who do not have Internet access or use smartphones, and I'd like to think there's still room for them/me in society generally.
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Comment on Gift ideas for niece who’s into sewing? in ~life.women
cheep_cheep LinkThere's a lot of good ideas here already! I'm a giant craft dork, and one of the things I love doing is just wandering around a store/market/convention and looking at things. Having someone to go...There's a lot of good ideas here already! I'm a giant craft dork, and one of the things I love doing is just wandering around a store/market/convention and looking at things. Having someone to go with and touch the yarn/fabric and check things out is really awesome! And buying a bunch of craft supplies is always a thrill :) would you be able to take your niece physically out somewhere and wander together? Sometimes it's nice to ask someone if a colour looks good, or the feel is nice, or if the pattern looks good, or even just finding random accessories. I often go to a store with an open mind, find one aspect of a project I might like (e.g., a fabric) and then build up the rest of the project later (e.g., the pattern, the accessories, and the target person). Plus, you can spend some quality time! Win-win.
I never can figure out how good ND actually is, because their schedule is so weird relative to the teams that play in conferences. I never know how much their ranking is a result of their history and prestige and the benefit of the doubt, and how much is how good they really are. Having so many teams with different schedules is one of the things about CFB that's most annoying to me, and makes conference comparisons so endlessly circular and frustrating. For many reasons, I'm so, so happy we have a real playoff now.
If you stop and think about where Cignetti came from, and the specific program he won a championship with, especially in the 12-team playoff era, his win last year is mind-boggling. I cannot overstate how much of a joke Indiana has been in football during my lifetime. I don't think their run would have been possible in the BCS or even the 4-team playoff era, but because there's so much more potential competition, I'm blown away by what Cignetti has done. Its magnificent, unbelievable, and vaguely disturbing. If Joe Burrow's jersey is functionally retired after playing one season with LSU, why not build Cignetti a statue from one championship? I think it was way harder to do at Indiana!