cheep_cheep's recent activity
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Comment on AI was eroding trust in my classroom — so I got rid of typed papers and bought my students notebooks instead in ~life
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Comment on AI was eroding trust in my classroom — so I got rid of typed papers and bought my students notebooks instead in ~life
cheep_cheep Link ParentI was a TA for awhile, and handwriting is a huge barrier to being able to read and evaluate a student's work. I think there are definitely advantages to doing assignments by hand in class - it...I was a TA for awhile, and handwriting is a huge barrier to being able to read and evaluate a student's work. I think there are definitely advantages to doing assignments by hand in class - it forces students to complete assignments there and to potentially discuss course content with peers - but it was so miserable on the grading front. I would not do it if you have more than ~30 students at the most, unless you're cool with tormenting yourself and/or your TAs!
I had a few Francophone students at my Anglophone university, and I do think they benefitted from being able to practice writing by hand, especially if they had time to work with peers - having handwritten assignments slows everybody down, and having a more group-focused context can allow them to discuss ideas and support each other. So having ESL students isn't necessarily going to be a problem, depending on how the course is structured and how much they can work with other students. If they are all working independently, that may add additional barriers, but it might be worth chatting with those students to get their perspectives.
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Comment on Meet the UK's Eurovision entrant: 'The BBC is taking a risk on me' in ~music
cheep_cheep Link ParentThis is where I'm at - it's hard to be excited about the contest in the current moment, and even though most of the artists are amazing, I think I may skip the live show and look up specific...This is where I'm at - it's hard to be excited about the contest in the current moment, and even though most of the artists are amazing, I think I may skip the live show and look up specific countries' artists after the fact. I don't think I can join in the zaniness and silliness when they're actively pretending like everything is normal, especially when countries are boycotting and artists are getting harassed.
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Comment on Punching, slamming, screaming: A chef’s past abuse haunts Noma, the world’s top-rated restaurant in ~food
cheep_cheep Link ParentDo you have any insight on how random consumers might be able to change horrible kitchen culture from the outside? From my perspective, it seems that ratings and general outward perception are far...Do you have any insight on how random consumers might be able to change horrible kitchen culture from the outside? From my perspective, it seems that ratings and general outward perception are far more important than worker health, and so as long as critics and social media keep lauding these horrible people, there's no obvious recourse for the staff until the abuse is so bad that it becomes impossible to overlook (although I'm sure there are some famous people who get away with it). I don't want to contribute to that culture if I can help it, but I'm also not seeking out luxury dining experiences in the first place.
I've heard through a few food podcasts too how this sort of behaviour is really rife among male chefs and in specific cuisines, especially French. In French cuisine, hazing and maltreatment for lower tier workers also apparently is a huge barrier to entry for women, and causes many of them to leave to avoid the abuse, and so "survival of abuse" becomes a necessary trait to make it to the top, and then gets passed on to the next generation of newbies. Aside from reporting on it and consumers making different choices, though, what can you even do about that? I definitely would rather stay at home and cook for myself than go eat an amazing meal made by miserable, depressed, and abused staff, but how do you even know it's happening? Should I just assume that's normal?
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Comment on Humble Choice - March 2026 in ~games
cheep_cheep Link ParentNo worries, thanks for your generosity!No worries, thanks for your generosity!
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Comment on Humble Choice - March 2026 in ~games
cheep_cheep Link ParentThe only game from this month that I had my eye on was Chants of Sennaar, and I'd be thrilled of you'd be willing to share! (When you get around to playing Bread and Fred, I'd be curious to know...The only game from this month that I had my eye on was Chants of Sennaar, and I'd be thrilled of you'd be willing to share! (When you get around to playing Bread and Fred, I'd be curious to know how you like that one in the weekly gaming thread, too.)
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
cheep_cheep Link ParentThank you for sharing, I appreciate your candor. I don't know what to do, either, and as a teacher I have felt helpless about how to help my male students who are falling behind - my encouragement...Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your candor. I don't know what to do, either, and as a teacher I have felt helpless about how to help my male students who are falling behind - my encouragement doesn't work, lower grades doesn't work, and they don't want to connect with me. I think this is an issue where communities need to try and make spaces for people to feel safe to be out and about in the world, and unfortunately, I think a lot of people - regardless of gender - find the world a scary place. I think part of the challenge is that marginalized people have traditionally found ways to meet and share community despite hardship, and ironically, a lot of men don't really have that naturally, and I don't think they necessarily know what to do when the world feels hostile. Furthermore, men are discouraged from being vulnerable, and are ridiculed and shamed when they are. And that can make it hard to develop a healthy community, especially when you want it to have a male focus, addressing grievances and distress. There's naturally going to be resentment, just like there is in other types of safe spaces! It just feels more threatening because of privilege.
I think the reason why people struggle with feminism is because misogyny is still a structural thing - we haven't fixed that, and I still have to deal with obnoxious shit in the workplace that I shouldn't have to, and think way too hard about what is "appropriate" for a woman to be at work. I have been harassed and sexually assaulted at work. The difference is that now men are also feeling unwelcome and attacked, and so everyone seems to be miserable and unwilling to listen to the grievances of someone else, and that's why I think our society has bifurcated in ways that aren't easy to fix. Men need help, but women aren't ready to sit and listen, because they're still dealing with messy men at work - I personally would feel deep resentment if I had to go to a seminar on how to help men feel comfy at work when I'm still hearing all kinds of misogynist shit around me. Someone needs to mediate, here, but there's no obvious person - I think both sides are right, and both want society to be different to include everyone. The question is, how do we acknowledge grievances of everyone - not to mention people who don't fall neatly into traditional binary gender identities - and make sure people get what they need? How do we get people to sit and listen and really be compassionate toward someone who isn't like you?
I wish you well - I don't know your specific story and how you got to be here, but I hope you are able to find healthy friendships and relationships, and to feel empowered to be yourself. It may feel scary, but there are people out there who you can connect with, and who will be uplifting - it may not be the easiest thing to find them, but they are out there. Good luck.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
cheep_cheep Link ParentI agree. I vehemently disagree with the idea that women should have to compromise themselves to make men feel comfortable...bit there is a genuine problem where men are not being supported or...- Exemplary
I agree. I vehemently disagree with the idea that women should have to compromise themselves to make men feel comfortable...bit there is a genuine problem where men are not being supported or properly integrated into modern society, and it's causing tangible problems: a large number of men are unemployed, and it isn't clear why. A lot of men, if they go to college, underachieve compared to women, and we don't know why. And a lot of violence is committed by men, and we aren't doing anything about it. Many men have said they lack emotional support systems that they want, and instead societally we make fun of them and tell them to figure it out. What I frequently hear and see is a cry for help, and what I see instead is a philosophical argument saying "fix your shit or perish." I think one reason why manosphere content is so appealing is because it offers something, often for people who are desperate to find anything, a community to belong to. I think a lot of men do feel like they're perishing, and they're looking for a lifeline to hold them up. What really bothers me is that we haven't done enough to figure out why, and to really address solutions to help suffering people and reing them into a societal fold. MAGA was one of the first large scale movements to make forgotten and suffering people feel that someone gave a shit about them, and that's why it has been so powerful.
As a millennial who grew up in the "girl power" era, one thing that has really bothered me is that I grew up with all kinds of seminars and slogans and teams that told me I could do anything I wanted - the world was my oyster and finally opening up for people like me, and that meant that if I tried hard, looked for opportunities, and found the right people, I could go really far. I never noticed anything similar for boys - there was no empowerment, no encouragement, no offers of specific help. I think the idea was that "boys already know what to do", or perhaps "boys are already represented", and so little effort was made to prepare and support them for life after school. When I was teaching at university, my best students were almost invariably women. They worked harder, they organized study groups, and they took initiative. I had so many men as students who were kind of floating through class, barely passing and not doing much to learn or change up what was happening. They seemed by and large to lack the motivation of their female peers. And it broke my heart, because there shouldn't be any intellectual reason why they were falling behind - but I think the lack of intentional support at younger ages, the lack of teaching and encouraging boys to learn particular soft skills does really affect them in negative ways. Add in the societal commentary that men hurt others, take up too much space, and need to be tough and strong and powerful, is it any wonder why we have a loneliness epidemic? I really don't think the way forward is not through tough love, it's through compassion and support.
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Comment on EU says TikTok faces large fine over "addictive design" in ~tech
cheep_cheep Link ParentGovernments, for better or worse, are tasked with orchestrating large scale rules and policies to support and manage their constituents. When governments participate in markets, say, for various...Governments, for better or worse, are tasked with orchestrating large scale rules and policies to support and manage their constituents. When governments participate in markets, say, for various kinds of tech products, they have the right to embrace, permit, dissuade, or ban products within their jurisdictions. If you look around the world, you have some governments that vehemently fight against some products and dictate rules about how and when they can be used (I think most notably China, when thinking about tech), and you also have some governments that may feel more lax or permissive (hello, USA). I feel like this is true with all manner of goods, not just tech, and so I don't totally understand what the potential issue is here specifically. If a government is completely banning or throttling platforms that permit communication (I think Iran is pretty notable for this), it can lead to civil unrest and a broad perception that a government is authoritarian, so it's not as though there are zero consequences for crushing public discourse. But I think the complete lack of regulation of tech and social media has led to some pretty vicious misinformation and lies, especially in the States (often fomented by authoritarian regimes, ironically). So I do think there is a gradient between "completely open and unregulated market" vs. "completely closed and state-regulated "market", and the EU I think is a leader in intelligent resistance to minimal regulations on tech.
Canada talked about banning Tiktok before it was cool, especially based of the concern of China spying on Canadians. It doesn't have to mean that the Canadian federal government has nefarious goals against Canadian free speech (although I'm sure you can find such notions on Tiktok).
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Comment on The film students who can no longer sit through films in ~movies
cheep_cheep Link ParentOh, how sad for your professor! My MIL is a retired schoolteacher, and apparently one of her hallmarks was having big events for her students, who typically didn't care nearly as much as she did,...Oh, how sad for your professor! My MIL is a retired schoolteacher, and apparently one of her hallmarks was having big events for her students, who typically didn't care nearly as much as she did, and she ended up quietly devastated every time. So I think it might actually be quite common at many levels of teaching - their job is to think of ways to engage and guide you, whereas the focus of students is on managing their workload and doing well enough. I'm sure your professor would be delighted though that in retrospect you appreciated the effort he made.
The one book I only partially read was Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - thankfully my assigned reading was the first or second chapter, and so my slog was minimal, but I absolutely hated it. I read all of The Odyssey and Invisible Man ahead of schedule, but not that one. That also reminds me that I had to read Walden for a middle school class, and I also hated that one, so I guess the total is actually two. I'm curious whether my eco friends have actually read it or have copies on their shelves for room vibes. Maybe I'm just not meant to read long, meandering, first-person navel gazing...
That's super interesting about music, I don't really listen to the radio and I don't listen to popular music (aside from Eurovision, if that counts?!), so I have zero insight about those changes. On one hand I'd be curious how much people listen to streams of specific genres vs. albums - I know sometimes at work I just throw a playlist or stream on, and so I imagine a lot of listening is done via programs like Spotify or Youtube. I've actually found that having whole albums on YouTube now makes me more likely to listen to an artist's entire album, similar to when I was in high school and actively buying CDs and cassettes. For a long time in the middle I would just pick and choose individual songs I liked, and while I still do that, I definitely pay more attention to entire albums if they're freely available to listen to. I wonder how other people's listening habits have changed over time.
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Comment on The film students who can no longer sit through films in ~movies
cheep_cheep Link ParentSure, and I watched a whole lot of TV when I was younger, to the point where I'd consider myself a certified Couch Potato. But looking back, I would also say that I don't think it affected my...Sure, and I watched a whole lot of TV when I was younger, to the point where I'd consider myself a certified Couch Potato. But looking back, I would also say that I don't think it affected my attention or ability to focus - I primarily used it to destress from a busy teenage life (class, homework, sports, music, friends, etc). I also couldn't take it with me, so there was a natural end point in my usage!
One thing to consider too is that smartphones are not super recent technology, nor is the Internet, and yet the major dropoff in test scores is from about the time of the pandemic and onward. I've spoken with some undergraduate students who went through the pandemic as middle or high schoolers, and they were very adamant that they wanted to do things in person, not virtually, and that learning in person was very important to them. It struck me that for students that had to do virtual learning for potentially years, the loss of in person interactions and extracurriculars may have really altered some things for them - social activities, destressing activities, and preferred ways of learning. I think it will take awhile for us to fully understand the impact of the pandemic on young people, but I think it's much more complex than just "Tiktok and pretty colours in my phone." I have worked in university settings for almost 15 years, now, and it never really occurred to me until hiring undergraduates that their recent learning experiences were very, very different from our historical expectations. That's true of tech, but the pandemic was also a huge burden for many of them. Add in LLMs and the current undergrad/graduate experience is totally different from mine, and I think requires some creative thinking about how to teach students most effectively.
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Comment on The film students who can no longer sit through films in ~movies
cheep_cheep Link ParentHomecoming was a radio drama podcast that I thought was fantastic; I know back then Gimlet tried a few of those (and generally I really enjoyed them).Homecoming was a radio drama podcast that I thought was fantastic; I know back then Gimlet tried a few of those (and generally I really enjoyed them).
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Comment on The film students who can no longer sit through films in ~movies
cheep_cheep LinkFood for thought - when televisions were invented, and in particular when colour televisions were invented, was there mass concern that younger generations no longer wanted to sit around and...Food for thought - when televisions were invented, and in particular when colour televisions were invented, was there mass concern that younger generations no longer wanted to sit around and listen to radio dramas? We don't really have radio dramas anymore, and it's pretty much impossible for me to sit and listen to a podcast and do literally nothing else. How much of this is a shift of cultural behaviour based on technological changes, and how much is that people genuinely cannot pay attention even when they want to?
The article also mentions that some of these professors are intentionally selecting movies that are not traditionally interesting to try and force their students to learn how to be bored. I'm not sure then that students not watching or finishing a film is indicative of unwanted inattention. I'll also say that I am the only person I know who read every book assigned in English class cover to cover (save one); everyone else either skimmed, lied, or read Sparksnotes to get the jist without having to actually read it. I don't find skipping movies you don't want to watch to necessarily be evidence of an inability to focus, except maybe the prof who has used the same test for 20 years and has found test scores to shift to be unusually low. There's absolutely evidence that social media and screen use has changed people's behaviour and attention, but I'm not totally convinced that everything here is totally new and unusual.
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Comment on My relationship feels like it's collapsing and I don't know what to do in ~life
cheep_cheep LinkThanks for sharing your story - it sounds like you are going through a lot, and I can totally see why you feel burnt out and needing to vent! As an outsider, there are a couple of things about...Thanks for sharing your story - it sounds like you are going through a lot, and I can totally see why you feel burnt out and needing to vent!
As an outsider, there are a couple of things about your situation that stand out to me. I think the biggest one is B's untreated ADHD. A good friend of mine was recently diagnosed as an adult, and it allowed her to understand and have much greater control of her life and her habits. It sounds like B currently isn't "in good working order", and needing hours to vent about her anxieties to you makes you more of her therapist than her partner, and puts even more pressure on you. I echo what others in this thread have said, and getting her to a supportive therapist specifically for ADHD might help a lot, especially if you can talk with B beforehand. Does she acknowledge that things right now feel impossible for both of you? Does she acknowledge how her anxiety is adding a ton of extra weight to your load? I don't want to sound accusatory, at all, but I think it's important to acknowledge when one's own issues are becoming a load for others (as I imagine many middle children do).
The other thing that stands out to me is communication and boundary setting. It sounds like you personally are holding the whole household together, doing chores, cooking, shopping, car management, etc. Do you take these on because you feel like that's the only way they'll get done? I totally understand the sentiment, but the issue then is that you've become the "doer" of all these things in your household, and no one needs to do anything differently to help you - you just make it happen. Some of these responsibilities, at least, need to be shared with the other members of your household. It isn't fair or healthy to have to carry that load alone.
If B reacts negatively to any perceived criticism in the moment, is it possible to write her a letter, telling her that you just feel overwhelmed, that you think you need a better balance of chores and household tasks? Can you make a plan together of who takes on which tasks? (I don't know how ADHD manifests for her, so I don't know the best way to approach it.) Is there a way to get your three kids on board? I feel like it's appropriate to expect kids to put their own projects and toys away, but B also needs to be on board with setting up structure and boundaries for the household - it can't be all just you, especially if she disagrees or starts waffling and nothing ends up actually changing. But I also don't think B will be able to "hear" you until she is out of panic mode and into a little bit of a more stable place internally. So - if at all possible, I echo the idea of therapy for B, relationship counseling for both of you, and someone with knowledge of neurodivergence and ADHD would probably help a lot, if you can swing it. But I encourage you to think of yourself as a member of your household, where a bunch of things need doing, and the load should be shared among the household's members - these are not solely your responsibilities, and it's unfair for you to have to do them all. (Can you also set a "timer" at night for B's venting? Just set up an alarm, give her 15 minutes, and you agree to stop once the timer dings? Starting to assert some space for yourself is going to be necessary, I think, and getting her to acknowledge that there's no space for you is going to be important. Even using an objective device like a timer might help her see just how much time she is taking from you without you having to say the words out loud.)
Lastly - in regards to the wedding afterparty and people telling you what has to be done and on their schedule - unless they're paying for it, the only people you really need to listen to are yourselves. If you find that people are making too many demands, or insisting that something must be done a certain way, you can politely ignore them, directly tell them no, or just skip the party completely...maybe have another get together some other time. But it sounds like you haven't gotten far in planning it, and so there won't be much harm done in postponing it indefinitely. Weddings can be exhausting and expensive, but if you're finding that the whole party aspect is becoming an additional stress, i think you're old enough to just say "nah, maybe later." You do not have to make everyone else happy! Do what you need to do for yourself and your family.
I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time, but it's understandable to see how you got to this place. I think it's also possible to get back out together, but I think you need a little bit of help. I wish you all the best, and that you and B especially can find a way forward together.
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Comment on I let my wife have an affair. Do I have to console her now that it’s over? in ~life
cheep_cheep Link ParentI find the same thing, and for people in my family, I "curate" information about my problems at home so that they don't get a particular incorrect impression about my spouse. My spouse actually...I find the same thing, and for people in my family, I "curate" information about my problems at home so that they don't get a particular incorrect impression about my spouse. My spouse actually reacts this way with friends of mine, where if I'm traveling with a friend and vent to him back home, he gets very upset on my behalf and tends to develop overly negative perceptions! They rarely meet, so I don't really care, but sometimes I think about whether I do want to vent to him.
I'm lucky that I have friends and in-laws who know me and/or my spouse well, and so if I want to have a real heart to heart, they know him well enough not to judge him overly much, but still give me good and supportive feedback.
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Comment on I let my wife have an affair. Do I have to console her now that it’s over? in ~life
cheep_cheep Link ParentI think this is the crux of the issue, and the original question misses an important dimension. I would guess that if they intend to stay together, they need to talk it out, including the hurt the...I think this is the crux of the issue, and the original question misses an important dimension. I would guess that if they intend to stay together, they need to talk it out, including the hurt the letter writer initially felt, and whether they want to actually stay together. I think "consoling", if you still care about someone who also caused you hurt, can be as simple as "I'm sad to see you so upset, but I'm not sad your relationship with someone else is over. Here are things I can do to help, and here are things I can't do." (I personally have felt simultaneous sadness and relief with events in my marriage, and my spouse knows I'm relieved at his expense - it's not like it's a secret, but I also don't go out of my way to crow victory.) Caring about your partner's feelings is an important aspect to a relationship, and if you don't feel anything but relief when watching them suffering, that's probably quite telling.
If the letter writer feels upset that their wife cheated on them and they're not able to talk about or move past that - which seems rather common - feeling like they "have to" console their cheating wife is just another example of being a doormat to someone else's feelings and never standing up for yourself. Not to mention that feeling as though you "allowed" your spouse to have fun and now are being forced to make them feel better just feels like a recipe for insurmountable resentment...it sounds like they need to do a better job of articulating boundaries and communicating.
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Comment on Matt Damon says Netflix wants movies to restate the 'plot three or four times in the dialogue' because viewers are on 'their phones while they're watching' in ~movies
cheep_cheep Link ParentI do think there's a difference though between the Netflix shows, as has been described in detail in this thread - which may literally repeat plot points verbatim because the viewers aren't paying...I do think there's a difference though between the Netflix shows, as has been described in detail in this thread - which may literally repeat plot points verbatim because the viewers aren't paying attention - vs. particular thoughts or ideas being explored as a premise of a show. I don't really see the former in something like Severance, I think of the central conflict between Innies and Outies to be a philosophical one - are they the same? How about now? Is someone to blame for this specific situation? What about this one?
I do watch a bit of reality TV, and I think that can be on the extreme end of repetition, but it's been interesting to see where other non-reality shows fall on the spectrum.
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Comment on Matt Damon says Netflix wants movies to restate the 'plot three or four times in the dialogue' because viewers are on 'their phones while they're watching' in ~movies
cheep_cheep Link ParentI haven't watched Pluribus, but it's interesting to me that despite it being very straightforward, people in the fandom are still confused about particular topics with potentially obvious answers....I haven't watched Pluribus, but it's interesting to me that despite it being very straightforward, people in the fandom are still confused about particular topics with potentially obvious answers. If Netflix is trying to cater to everyone, even if they're only half paying attention while scrolling their phone, do other platforms intentionally try to solicit more complicated stories? I never really thought about it. Severance wouldn't work if they were forced to reiterate the plot repeatedly, but I don't know how different it would look if it were on another platform.
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Comment on Matt Damon says Netflix wants movies to restate the 'plot three or four times in the dialogue' because viewers are on 'their phones while they're watching' in ~movies
cheep_cheep Link ParentMeanwhile, the Severance fandom is obsessively combing through stills from each episode to accompany their latest theory on Kier and Lumon! I'm often genuinely impressed with what they figure out,...Meanwhile, the Severance fandom is obsessively combing through stills from each episode to accompany their latest theory on Kier and Lumon! I'm often genuinely impressed with what they figure out, but as a filthy casual, it can be a lot.
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Comment on Casper Ruud beats Marin Čilić, progressing to the fourth round of the 2026 Australian Open – first time Grand Slam in the Open Era that a fourth round consists solely of seeded players in ~sports
cheep_cheep Link...funnily enough, despite the high rankings of the players, all of the men's matches were 3-0 straight set victories yesterday. Hoping for some closer matches today! (The women also mostly were......funnily enough, despite the high rankings of the players, all of the men's matches were 3-0 straight set victories yesterday. Hoping for some closer matches today! (The women also mostly were straight set victories, but felt more competitive. Putintseva was unseeded, so her destruction isn't a total surprise, but I dunno what excuse Medvedev and Bublik have.)
You can always test it out and see how it goes! I think it's great that you're thinking about how to achieve good learning outcomes for your students, and I think trial and error can be helpful to refine your vision. Good luck!