I've always heard this described as "playing handball against the drapes." They lob something your way, and you respond in a way that just sucks all the momentum out of the conversation. No...
I've always heard this described as "playing handball against the drapes." They lob something your way, and you respond in a way that just sucks all the momentum out of the conversation. No repartee, no bounceback, just a dud. People are really unable to handle it.
"Gray rocking" may be described as the practice of replying to heated discourse with language that is uninteresting and concise. The goal is to cause boredom. It seeks to avoid providing...
"Gray rocking" may be described as the practice of replying to heated discourse with language that is uninteresting and concise. The goal is to cause boredom. It seeks to avoid providing additional content that might be incorporated in further aggressive responses. Although being polite may be a component of it, it is entirely possible to be both polite and loquacious, in which case an answer may be both polite and stimulating. The article mentions psychologists take on the term. Furthermore, the term was first employed in 2005, which is not generally considered a time when influencers existed as they do today. These informations are contained in the article.
For being titled "how to" there really aren't a lot of examples or explanations. I appreciated the anecdote about talking about networking events that one went to, but I also know that's certainly...
For being titled "how to" there really aren't a lot of examples or explanations. I appreciated the anecdote about talking about networking events that one went to, but I also know that's certainly not enough to dissuade some people who are interested and simply want to engage in conversation with you. Does anybody else have resources with concrete examples or some kind of methodology or tool set to more effectively "gray rock"?
Ah ok, so basically the last few years of my relationship with my ex-wife. I go into survival mode, shut off my own emotions, dissociate from my own needs, and do everything I can to avoid...
The goal of the gray rock technique is to disengage without ending contact, said Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and the author of “It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing From Narcissistic People.” People who gray rock remain neutral, keep their interactions “trim and slim,” and avoid sharing information that could potentially be turned against them, she added.
But, over time, gray rocking can become ineffective, she added, “because you are cutting yourself off from your authentic feelings — essentially denying your own needs.”
Ah ok, so basically the last few years of my relationship with my ex-wife. I go into survival mode, shut off my own emotions, dissociate from my own needs, and do everything I can to avoid "causing problems", because the relationship is dysfunctional. This is a recipe for learning to shut down as a trauma response and not actually deal with your emotions. It's a viable survival technique, in the same way that wearing armor around the house is a viable survival technique for living with a rabid badger. It'll help you survive, but get rid of the badger, don't embrace the fact that you get to wear armor 24/7.
The method has not been studied, nor is it derived from an evidence-based psychological practice.
One psychologist do state in the article that this is not a good long term strategy.
One psychologist do state in the article that this is not a good long term strategy.
When should you try to gray rock?
Lara Fielding, a behavioral psychologist in St. Helena, Calif., and the author of “Mastering Adulthood,” cautioned against using gray rocking for long periods of time.
“I would call this a distress tolerance technique,” she said, best reserved for when you’re in crisis mode. Sometimes, she added, you “do what you need to do to not make the situation worse.”
But, over time, gray rocking can become ineffective, she added, “because you are cutting yourself off from your authentic feelings — essentially denying your own needs.”
I've always heard this described as "playing handball against the drapes." They lob something your way, and you respond in a way that just sucks all the momentum out of the conversation. No repartee, no bounceback, just a dud. People are really unable to handle it.
Archived version: https://archive.ph/ZeW9U.
It sounds like influencers are rebranding various forms of politeness?
"Gray rocking" may be described as the practice of replying to heated discourse with language that is uninteresting and concise. The goal is to cause boredom. It seeks to avoid providing additional content that might be incorporated in further aggressive responses. Although being polite may be a component of it, it is entirely possible to be both polite and loquacious, in which case an answer may be both polite and stimulating. The article mentions psychologists take on the term. Furthermore, the term was first employed in 2005, which is not generally considered a time when influencers existed as they do today. These informations are contained in the article.
For being titled "how to" there really aren't a lot of examples or explanations. I appreciated the anecdote about talking about networking events that one went to, but I also know that's certainly not enough to dissuade some people who are interested and simply want to engage in conversation with you. Does anybody else have resources with concrete examples or some kind of methodology or tool set to more effectively "gray rock"?
I'm sorry but I must remove this post. Every single comment is a knee jerk reaction and no one read the article. This is very low quality discussion.
Ah ok, so basically the last few years of my relationship with my ex-wife. I go into survival mode, shut off my own emotions, dissociate from my own needs, and do everything I can to avoid "causing problems", because the relationship is dysfunctional. This is a recipe for learning to shut down as a trauma response and not actually deal with your emotions. It's a viable survival technique, in the same way that wearing armor around the house is a viable survival technique for living with a rabid badger. It'll help you survive, but get rid of the badger, don't embrace the fact that you get to wear armor 24/7.
Ah, yea that tracks.
One psychologist do state in the article that this is not a good long term strategy.