Is the pressure to get married really that disproportionately felt by women? I'm a dude and my mom and sister (mostly sister) often let it be known that they think I need to settle down. I...
Is the pressure to get married really that disproportionately felt by women? I'm a dude and my mom and sister (mostly sister) often let it be known that they think I need to settle down. I certainly feel some pressure to give my mom some grandkids, or something. But, I'd be pretty happy living on my lonesome for the foreseeable future.
The terms 'spinster' and 'bachelor' have very different connotations. Everyone faces pressure to get married, but for women there is traditionally more of a taboo around being alone. Media aimed...
The terms 'spinster' and 'bachelor' have very different connotations. Everyone faces pressure to get married, but for women there is traditionally more of a taboo around being alone. Media aimed at women has always had a bigger focus on romance - even if nowadays we don't see romance as the main goal for women, it is still viewed as more important for women than men. Then there is the related pressure to have children that is also felt more strongly by us because being a mother is considered a fundamental part of the female identity by some.
Ya, I definitely understand that aspect, and especially the traditional idea that women need to be the "homemaker". Still, it feels like this backlash against traditional gender roles can apply to...
Ya, I definitely understand that aspect, and especially the traditional idea that women need to be the "homemaker". Still, it feels like this backlash against traditional gender roles can apply to both women and men.
Even though rom-coms tend to focus on a woman's perspective of chasing a man, it seems to me that the messaging has been "man needs to swoon woman!" but .. could just be a matter of messaging geared towards men falling on men and messaging geared toward women falling on women.
Anyway, I totally think it's bullshit that a dude can remain a bachelor and (mostly) be free from critique (though, I feel like there's a bit more finger-wagging these days) while a woman will be labeled a 'spinster' or some such.
I think there is pressure on both genders, and men definitely face more pressure in other areas of romance. But the specific fear/taboo discussed in the article - being unmarried and dying alone,...
I think there is pressure on both genders, and men definitely face more pressure in other areas of romance.
But the specific fear/taboo discussed in the article - being unmarried and dying alone, is definitely felt in a different way (and, imo, at a greater magnitude), by women than men.
No doubt! I guess I just related so hard to the title that I was a bit perplexed when I read the article and it being framed as solely a woman's issue.* Not that women aren't uniquely affected by...
No doubt! I guess I just related so hard to the title that I was a bit perplexed when I read the article and it being framed as solely a woman's issue.* Not that women aren't uniquely affected by "traditional" societal standards!
*and the shoehorned incel bogeyman addition was kinda lame, imo
This is partly why I'd prefer a woman's group on tilde. It would make it more obvious from the start that the topic is being approached from a female perspective.
This is partly why I'd prefer a woman's group on tilde. It would make it more obvious from the start that the topic is being approached from a female perspective.
Ya, I do quite a bit alone and, usually, when I'm asked about things I've done/attended recently the near-automatic follow-up is "Oh, who'd you go with."
Ya, I do quite a bit alone and, usually, when I'm asked about things I've done/attended recently the near-automatic follow-up is "Oh, who'd you go with."
Is the pressure to get married really that disproportionately felt by women? I'm a dude and my mom and sister (mostly sister) often let it be known that they think I need to settle down. I certainly feel some pressure to give my mom some grandkids, or something. But, I'd be pretty happy living on my lonesome for the foreseeable future.
The terms 'spinster' and 'bachelor' have very different connotations. Everyone faces pressure to get married, but for women there is traditionally more of a taboo around being alone. Media aimed at women has always had a bigger focus on romance - even if nowadays we don't see romance as the main goal for women, it is still viewed as more important for women than men. Then there is the related pressure to have children that is also felt more strongly by us because being a mother is considered a fundamental part of the female identity by some.
Ya, I definitely understand that aspect, and especially the traditional idea that women need to be the "homemaker". Still, it feels like this backlash against traditional gender roles can apply to both women and men.
Even though rom-coms tend to focus on a woman's perspective of chasing a man, it seems to me that the messaging has been "man needs to swoon woman!" but .. could just be a matter of messaging geared towards men falling on men and messaging geared toward women falling on women.
Anyway, I totally think it's bullshit that a dude can remain a bachelor and (mostly) be free from critique (though, I feel like there's a bit more finger-wagging these days) while a woman will be labeled a 'spinster' or some such.
I have no idea, just spitballin.
I think there is pressure on both genders, and men definitely face more pressure in other areas of romance.
But the specific fear/taboo discussed in the article - being unmarried and dying alone, is definitely felt in a different way (and, imo, at a greater magnitude), by women than men.
No doubt! I guess I just related so hard to the title that I was a bit perplexed when I read the article and it being framed as solely a woman's issue.* Not that women aren't uniquely affected by "traditional" societal standards!
*and the shoehorned incel bogeyman addition was kinda lame, imo
This is partly why I'd prefer a woman's group on tilde. It would make it more obvious from the start that the topic is being approached from a female perspective.
Ya, I do quite a bit alone and, usually, when I'm asked about things I've done/attended recently the near-automatic follow-up is "Oh, who'd you go with."