Games for "the flame"
TL;DR: What do you do with your SO (if anything) to spark some fun? Do you have a go-to move, or game that gets interest going for some fun?
A lot of us have been sheltering in place for some time now due to covid-19. What do you do to keep things from getting stale- to show effort, appreciation, and attraction for your significant other?
I'm trying to keep things relatively fresh, but we don't have much space where we are. It takes, for example "naked billiards" off the table. I think they have a copy of "Twister" somewhere, so I might try to see if they're into a game night for some physical closeness. If you have a deck of cards, you can always do strip poker, but it might be a little underwhelming.
Of course, it doesn't always have to be a competition either, back/foot rubs are always a well received from both sides in my experience. I'm also aware of a concept called "Chore-Play[*]" and I try to do what I can to make sure my SO never feels like they're pulling the weight for both of us.
I obviously had a couple ideas, but I'm looking for some inspiration too! I'd like so have some things on the back-burner to whip out when the occasion calls for it, or when the time is right.
PS: I'm not really sure what to expect for responses to this, I know it's a rather personal topic and sharing information like that can be uncomfortable for some. You don't have to share what you do in your relationship if you're not comfortable (obviously), but maybe you share a link of some cool ideas you found somewhere instead? IDK, let's get creative with it!
[*]: With that being said, there is another definition of choreplay that I don't think is what we're after (collectively). I'm not talking about using sex as a bargaining chip for chores, which is what some perceive it as. I'm talking about taking the actions to make your partner feel like valued and appreciated half of the relationship. With those feelings of appreciation and care, comes romance and intimacy.
My partner really enjoys the nasty side of sex. It is hard trying to come up with new ways of pushing that nastiness while still not going past my limits.
An example is she really wants me to come inside her slurp it out and spit it in her mouth. Which I am not a fan of...at all.
As far as appreciation, effort, that is fairly simple. You just need to be present when you are spending time together
Have you thought about something like a turkey baster or cone-shaped sponge?
Presence definitely helps. I make a rule and gently remind during our meals together to please be present and no phone usage (biggest sink of presents for partner).
It is just something I don’t see myself doing. Lately she has been bringing the idea of pegging up and I shut that down pretty quick.
There are just some things I don’t see myself enjoying.
It may also depend on how busy you boats have been since this whole thing started.
I think starting something new together would be fun.
He’ll get a good book and you each read a few chapters fill the person in and they read the next few chapters.
My old manager and his barrack buddies began reading the game of thrones books and they had this HUGE whiteboard where they documented as much as they could. Like the names of people the history of swords or family heirlooms. He showed me a picture and I was super impressed
We've both been WFH during this time, so we'll have a few hours including meals together at the end of the day. One night a week we've committed to reading our own stuff in the same room, but I like this idea too!
I'm really bad about deeply getting into a book, and this would provide some twist.
I would say for the most part I am pretty present. We do talk a lot about how we feel, how we're doing with each other and so on. So in that regard, I think we're pretty good.
I'm looking for more ways to initiate and still be a little creative with it. She's not used to initiating sex at all, which is unfortunate but we're also working on it. I would get bored of eventually our sex life coming down to "Hey.... You wanna have sex?" So I'm looking for ways to set the mood that are fun to do, even before we get to the best part.