TL;DR: What do you do with your SO (if anything) to spark some fun? Do you have a go-to move, or game that gets interest going for some fun?

A lot of us have been sheltering in place for some time now due to covid-19. What do you do to keep things from getting stale- to show effort, appreciation, and attraction for your significant other?

I'm trying to keep things relatively fresh, but we don't have much space where we are. It takes, for example "naked billiards" off the table. I think they have a copy of "Twister" somewhere, so I might try to see if they're into a game night for some physical closeness. If you have a deck of cards, you can always do strip poker, but it might be a little underwhelming.

Of course, it doesn't always have to be a competition either, back/foot rubs are always a well received from both sides in my experience. I'm also aware of a concept called "Chore-Play[*]" and I try to do what I can to make sure my SO never feels like they're pulling the weight for both of us.

I obviously had a couple ideas, but I'm looking for some inspiration too! I'd like so have some things on the back-burner to whip out when the occasion calls for it, or when the time is right.

PS: I'm not really sure what to expect for responses to this, I know it's a rather personal topic and sharing information like that can be uncomfortable for some. You don't have to share what you do in your relationship if you're not comfortable (obviously), but maybe you share a link of some cool ideas you found somewhere instead? IDK, let's get creative with it!

[*]: With that being said, there is another definition of choreplay that I don't think is what we're after (collectively). I'm not talking about using sex as a bargaining chip for chores, which is what some perceive it as. I'm talking about taking the actions to make your partner feel like valued and appreciated half of the relationship. With those feelings of appreciation and care, comes romance and intimacy.

Prompted by a recent tildes post about vice, and also this from the bbc, and a conversation with a colleague who just went to a strip club, I keep thinking about this issue.

I have a stake in this, despite being cis male: I have mother, sisters, wife, and most importantly young daughter. And I am a feminist, on simple moral grounds.

My baseline position is that whether a woman chooses to engage in sex work is, and should be legally and socially supported as, entirely her own choice.

The only question I have any business answering, or participating in finding an answer, is whether my patronage of sex work is inherently exploitive, to either the woman whom I am patronizing* or to other women individually or to womanhood and general issues of gender.

And I just can’t come up with a good answer. I do look at porn, but increasingly, as with meat, the potential ethical problems of it are reducing the enjoyment. I have tried to ease my conscience by limiting myself to cartoons and stories, but those wouldn’t stop the harm that is caused by the mere existence of porn, if any exists.

As a purely practical matter, the existence of the industry leads to opportunities for exploitation of individuals, and the advancement of a culture of gender exploitation. But as the war on drugs has so ably demonstrated, any attempt at prohibition only increases the level of exploitation, while smart regulation decreases it. Regardless, though, there’s plenty of exploitation to go around the world, I heard there’s thing called #metoo.

I come from a sex-suppressing, fundamentalist “Christian” background. The quotes are there to indicate that I think much of the practices were anything but christ-like. The principles there swirl through the culture around me in varying degrees of intensity, and they inform and direct my choices (sometimes against my will and my better hopes and ideals). I have to be open to the notion that any objection I have to sex work, or my participation, is entirely a cultural construct. And while I don’t think it is true, I cannot dismiss the notion that morals themselves may have no possible objective existence, having relevance and utility (if at all) only in very time and space limited scopes.

It is what I believe the sociologists call a “wicked” problem. It involves really complicated normative stances, and there’s no data analysis that can provide any guidance. For myself, I expect my participation to continue to wane as I mature. I only hope that whatever I do only further enables and empowers the women in my life and everywhere.

• I almost stopped myself from using this word when I realized potential implications, but ultimately left it in because it (and the fact it was my natural inclination to select it) really highlights the issue for me and hopefully others

Bonus hypothetical: If porn is somehow wrong and harmful, even drawings and writings, are sex fantasies also wrong?