patience_limited's recent activity
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Comment on Repotting houseplants: is it really necessary? How to know when to do it? in ~hobbies
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Comment on What are you working through? in ~life
patience_limited LinkSpouse is having memory problems and tremors. It wasn't apparently serious, but he's been concerned enough to see a neurologist, and now I'm struggling with the implications. He had a heart valve...Spouse is having memory problems and tremors. It wasn't apparently serious, but he's been concerned enough to see a neurologist, and now I'm struggling with the implications.
He had a heart valve replacement a few years ago, which required hours on a heart-lung machine. There's a condition colloquially referred to among heart surgery recipients as "pump head" - diffuse brain injury from micro-clots. He was pretty out of it for a couple of months post-surgery, but seemingly recovered well.
From what I observed, my spouse has occasional word loss and forgetfulness that's consistent with his age and the previous trauma. However, the neurologist confirmed that there are some observable short-term memory deficits, and tremor that's getting worse (most likely familial, but now being watched for possible Parkinson's disease).
I've paid attention to /u/DefinitelyNotAFae's struggles in caring for a fully physically disabled partner. I've had to face the prospect of physical disability myself - for a while, it was looking like I wouldn't be able to work, with uncontrolled rheumatoid arthritis that had me hobbling and barely able to type or take care of myself. But the idea of caring for someone with a long term deteriorating cognitive state scares me badly.
I've watched friends who had to take care of parents with Alzheimer's and took care of my dad after a catastrophic stroke. We all went through some really frightening incidents - drastic personality changes (aggression, hostility, confusion), wandering and getting lost, nearly setting the house on fire, keeping a gun under their pillow and pulling it out when startled by a caregiver, things like that.
I adore the brilliant, witty, talented, deeply empathetic and caring person I married and have spent 30+ years with. The possibility that I might be with him through the loss of those qualities shouldn't be shocking, and yet it is. We're having more conversations about what we want for medical power of attorney, end-of-life, assistive care, and other somewhat grim topics that acknowledge not just mortality, but all the potential steps along the way.
I'd love to quit my job just to spend more good time with him, but health insurance is an obstacle.
Thanks for listening, folks.
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Comment on Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of February 9 in ~society
patience_limited (edited )LinkMichigan Senate minority leader requests federal review of Michigan agencies, nonprofits Here we go again - another Republican attempt to stir up an ethnicity/religion-based scandal as...Michigan Senate minority leader requests federal review of Michigan agencies, nonprofits
Here we go again - another Republican attempt to stir up an ethnicity/religion-based scandal as justification for Federal intervention and increased ICE enforcement in a Democratic Party-governed state. Michigan has the largest number of people of Arab ethnicities in the U.S. (211,000, about 2% of the state's population) - Palestinians, Lebanese, and other Middle Eastern national origins. For comparison, Minnesota has about 80,000 people of Somali descent.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited Link ParentSpouse doesn't care for blue cheese, so more mold for me!Spouse doesn't care for blue cheese, so more mold for me!
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited (edited )Link ParentIce crystals tear cell walls. The texture change is probably not as noticeable when previously frozen fish is served raw, but thawed fish tends to leak more moisture in cooking and it's just not...Ice crystals tear cell walls. The texture change is probably not as noticeable when previously frozen fish is served raw, but thawed fish tends to leak more moisture in cooking and it's just not as pleasant to eat.
If I remember right, Japan has a very thorough health inspection process for sushi-grade fresh fish - not something that lends itself to cheap bulk commercial sales. You can buy fresh fish in the U.S. and DIY it as sushi, but I wouldn't recommend it. OTOH, definitely get fresh fish for cooking if you can.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited (edited )Link ParentThat sounds pretty serious, and it's a mess that you've got problems with invisible, unlabeled ingredients. I'd carry Benadryl at least, and maybe talk with a doctor about an EpiPen. [I'm...That sounds pretty serious, and it's a mess that you've got problems with invisible, unlabeled ingredients. I'd carry Benadryl at least, and maybe talk with a doctor about an EpiPen. [I'm acquainted with someone who has severe egg, wheat, cow's milk, and nut allergies - they basically live with an EpiPen in pocket all the time. It's very difficult to find clean ingredients that don't contain traces of any of those allergens even with vegan products more widely available.]
At least I can avoid the things I'm allergic to on a menu, and send food back if I see those ingredients weren't called out. It's usually not a problem for me anyway, provided that everything in the dish gets cooked. Though I once had house-made vegan ice "cream" at a restaurant that didn't disclose the source was raw cashews, and that was a [delicious!] disaster. My doctor gives me heavy-duty prescription antihistamines and a prednisone dose pack every year, just in case.
I think I'd probably give up on life if I suddenly got an allergy to a real favorite, like chocolate or cheeses. It's been hard enough cutting wine down to a glass a week.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited Link ParentYes, octopus and calamari have been totally off my menu since studies of their intelligence came out, and I pretty much avoid mammal meat as well. I'm not holding the line on birds, reptiles,...Yes, octopus and calamari have been totally off my menu since studies of their intelligence came out, and I pretty much avoid mammal meat as well. I'm not holding the line on birds, reptiles, amphibians, and fish very well, though.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (February 2026) in ~health.mental
patience_limited Link ParentI'm sending you hugs and care! I just hope you get respite from all the worrying and travel, and that your partner can get some of the attention he needs from others besides you. I wish there was...I'm sending you hugs and care! I just hope you get respite from all the worrying and travel, and that your partner can get some of the attention he needs from others besides you.
I wish there was a community co-operative for you where people could share care of severely disabled loved ones, so that everyone can have a day or two to take care of themselves and connect with others in similar situations for psychological support.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited Link ParentRicotta is another grainy-textured food that I wasn't crazy about, until I started making tiramisu in the pastry kitchen. Turns out that if you whip it long enough, it becomes velvety smooth and...Ricotta is another grainy-textured food that I wasn't crazy about, until I started making tiramisu in the pastry kitchen. Turns out that if you whip it long enough, it becomes velvety smooth and delicious.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited Link ParentThe shot usually gets picked out with tweezers, but it's easy to miss the small (roughly 2 - 3 mm) pellets used for birds and small game. Rock salt shot gets used for non-lethal home defense. The...The shot usually gets picked out with tweezers, but it's easy to miss the small (roughly 2 - 3 mm) pellets used for birds and small game.
Rock salt shot gets used for non-lethal home defense. The salt is painful, but the irregular crystals aren't dense enough to penetrate deeply, aren't aerodynamic enough to travel very far, and tend to shatter on impact.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited (edited )Link ParentI've no idea - maybe bugs and animals don't enjoy the irritating chemicals either? There are 600+ plant species distributed globally that contain urushiols, so it's a popular evolutionary...I've no idea - maybe bugs and animals don't enjoy the irritating chemicals either? There are 600+ plant species distributed globally that contain urushiols, so it's a popular evolutionary strategy. We got perfect mangos with no chemical applications, so that's my guess.
And I ate those gorgeous, amazing-tasting mangos skin and all for years before suddenly having problems. I offered them to friends and people I worked with, and about 1 in 4 had the same story - many years of eating mangos daily, then abrupt onset of allergy. Most of them just got "mango mouth", and could still eat peeled, rinsed or cooked mango flesh since urushiol is concentrated in the fruit skin and breaks down when heated.
But a couple had the same extreme reactions I did - blisters on contact, weeks of whole-body hives, scary mouth and throat swelling, gastrointestinal irritation... I even started getting hives and asthma from the pollen when the trees were flowering, but then we decided to GTFO Florida for many other reasons.
The other wacky thing is that I thought I was immune to poison ivy - I grew up walking barefoot through fields of the stuff without the slightest itch. Apparently, the same kind of sudden poison ivy/oak allergy happens to full-time foresters and gardeners frequently as well. Japanese Urushi (lacquerware) makers - same thing.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited (edited )Link ParentI'm not so deprived in avoiding mangos and cashews, and they're rare enough allergies that there's no specific desensitization program. [There's no available desensitization for poison ivy/oak,...I'm not so deprived in avoiding mangos and cashews, and they're rare enough allergies that there's no specific desensitization program. [There's no available desensitization for poison ivy/oak, either, and these allergens are related.]
Since the urushiol allergens undergo chemical changes on air exposure (just like Japanese lacquer), I can usually tolerate accidental exposure to small amounts of roasted cashews or frozen/dried mango. I can't even touch the raw ones, though - I've got permanent scars from the last time I came into contact with mango sap.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited Link ParentI completely understand the sensory sensitivity - I got the auditory version and many forms of sound that other people find tolerable or enjoy are unpleasant for me. Sometimes, I can lean into an...I completely understand the sensory sensitivity - I got the auditory version and many forms of sound that other people find tolerable or enjoy are unpleasant for me. Sometimes, I can lean into an overly intense exposure and find enjoyable aspects of it, but it's hard work and definitely not achievable on a constant basis.
I hope the rest of your food experiences are rewarding, though!
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited Link ParentOlive oil goes rancid pretty quickly when it's exposed to air, and those olive stands (or the barrels of olives in brine at specialty stores) definitely smell rank. But I like the olives...Olive oil goes rancid pretty quickly when it's exposed to air, and those olive stands (or the barrels of olives in brine at specialty stores) definitely smell rank. But I like the olives themselves, even really bitter, salty ones like Kalamatas, in cooking.
Castelvetrano olives are really buttery, don't age long, and they're not bitter at all - super tasty if you can get them.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited Link ParentAnd another thing - many bean dishes are heavily seasoned with cumin, at least in the Latin American recipes I'm most familiar with. To my taste, cumin is fine as part of spice mixes like Indian...And another thing - many bean dishes are heavily seasoned with cumin, at least in the Latin American recipes I'm most familiar with. To my taste, cumin is fine as part of spice mixes like Indian curries, but not when it's the dominant flavor.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited Link ParentCostco carries vacuum-packed cooked beets that are pretty good - unseasoned and recipe ready. Canned foods have gotten better since the advent of plastic-lined metal cans, but frozen or...Costco carries vacuum-packed cooked beets that are pretty good - unseasoned and recipe ready.
Canned foods have gotten better since the advent of plastic-lined metal cans, but frozen or vacuum-packed fruits and vegetables will always have more natural tastes and textures since they're not processed at high temperatures and pressures.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited Link ParentPeeling, and golden beets were big discoveries. One of the things I kind of disliked about red beets was how messy the juices were and earthy (dirt-like) they tasted. Turned out my mom scrubbed...Peeling, and golden beets were big discoveries. One of the things I kind of disliked about red beets was how messy the juices were and earthy (dirt-like) they tasted. Turned out my mom scrubbed but didn't peel fresh beets, and the skin carries geosmin and other dirt flavors/aromas.
Golden beets seem to have fewer of the bitter flavor components (probably anthocyanins that give beets the red color, and are good for you...) but are still fairly nutritious (carotene and fiber).
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited (edited )Link ParentWork in a kitchen or food service business, or adopt the kind of culinary adventurism that my family did ("Try anything that doesn't have a skull-and-crossbones or a radiation symbol on the label"...Work in a kitchen or food service business, or adopt the kind of culinary adventurism that my family did ("Try anything that doesn't have a skull-and-crossbones or a radiation symbol on the label" was the official motto...), and you'll at least learn what you don't like, and probably why.
A lot of people assume they hate a food in general, when they really hate ill-chosen or badly executed preparations of that food. I thought I hated eggplant until I tried moussaka and stir-fry, Brussels sprouts until I tried them roasted, and so on.
In addition, the loss of smell and taste with age makes many foods more palatable. There's probably an evolutionary defense mechanism to keep children away from potential food toxins until they're done growing, similar to food aversions in pregnancy.
I kind of made it a point as an adult to retry anything I disliked in childhood (e.g. lasagna, if you can believe it, when what I really disliked was my mother's recipe and the burnt edges...), and I've discovered all kinds of new delights.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited (edited )Link ParentThe joys of Up-North living - read Jim Harrison's The Raw and the Cooked sometime. At one time or another, I've tried all that, plus bear, elk, boar, porcupine, pheasant and various other birds,...The joys of Up-North living - read Jim Harrison's The Raw and the Cooked sometime.
At one time or another, I've tried all that, plus bear, elk, boar, porcupine, pheasant and various other birds, alligator, rattlesnake, python, all kinds of fish, and other stuff I can't even remember. Courtesy of dinners at the county gun and rod club my dad was a member of, and hanging around chefs.
Omnivores definitely taste different than herbivores, is the overall theme. Wild fish, poultry, and hog taste very different from farmed because of the more varied diet and lower fat. The meat tends to be tougher and stringier, with more connective tissue, just because the animals are free-ranging rather than confined, and they aren't harvested the minute they're at maximum weight.
Also, as /u/Gummy said, the muscles in small game aren't big enough to be roasted or grilled, so they're prepared as stews, braises, or soups to moderate the toughness, and that changes the flavor, too.
And occasionally you'll get a dish with leftover buckshot as seasoning - that little bit of lead intake in my youth probably accounts for some things.
***We've got too many suburban deer right now, and spouse has joked that he could hunt them by dropping a cinder block off the back deck.
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
patience_limited (edited )Link ParentI don't hate mayo, I just don't like it in excess because it's greasy/slimy and seems to mute the flavors of whatever it's applied to. A nice sharp, lemony Hollandaise, spicy remoulade, or...I don't hate mayo, I just don't like it in excess because it's greasy/slimy and seems to mute the flavors of whatever it's applied to. A nice sharp, lemony Hollandaise, spicy remoulade, or garlicky aioli/toum are much better options.
Depending on the plant, you can sometimes divide it and get two (or multiple) plants for the price of one.
With plants whose roots form rhizomes (asparagus fern, ZZ plant, calathea, some others), you can gently divide the rhizomes and attached stems into smaller clumps (not smaller than 3 - 4" bundles) and give each clump its own pot. Your flamingo flower (Anthurium) forms rhizomes, and instructions for dividing it can be found here.
I originally thought you had a vining philodendron, but the picture shows a tree type. It's riskier to divide those and you're best off just repotting it as it grows until you run out of space.