59 votes

My birthday gangbang

44 comments

  1. [3]
    zini
    Link
    I don't really know what to add here. I just think this was a particularly stand-out paragraph in a sea of stand-out paragraphs.

    One of them (guy who brought the stickers) was a virgin. We asked if we could celebrate his first time, and he said yes - ‘the wackier the better’, I believe. So we had him go first (he literally said “Leeroy Jenkins” as he entered) and popped confetti over him when he finished, and I signed a personalized gift for him.

    I don't really know what to add here. I just think this was a particularly stand-out paragraph in a sea of stand-out paragraphs.

    49 votes
    1. OBLIVIATER
      Link Parent
      This is Grecian-level hedonism

      This is Grecian-level hedonism

      16 votes
    2. JXM
      Link Parent
      Leeroy Jenkins…now there’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time.

      Leeroy Jenkins…now there’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time.

      12 votes
  2. [3]
    zenen
    Link
    I find reading these sorts of posts to be an interesting exercise in seeing outside of my own viewpoint and recognizing that people can have different lifestyles than my own. Personally, I've...

    I find reading these sorts of posts to be an interesting exercise in seeing outside of my own viewpoint and recognizing that people can have different lifestyles than my own.

    Personally, I've started to identify as rather sex-negative over the last few years. It's not that I don't think sex is a good thing, I just think that the culture we live in has done some really awful things to the public perception of sexuality. I find that "sex-positivity" can sometimes be mixed in with the perception of sex as a commodity, and there's something about running statistical analysis on one's partners that comes across as rather cold to me.

    Our bodies (most of them, as far as I know) are hard-wired for pair bonding and connection. Even though culture can override in all sorts of interesting ways, most of the wiring stays intact. My perspective is that human beings work better leaning into that wiring than subverting it.

    I don't want this to come across as shaming in any way, I'm mostly just processing some feelings that surfaced while reading this article. I've been spending a lot of time working through my perceptions of intimacy, and discovering the vast number of ways that we can connect with each other has led me to wonder why I was so keen in the past for that connection to be a sexual one. I think a lot of it was cultural and porn related, honestly.

    I could go on about this, but I won't. I'll just say that we live in a world where most people yearn for deeper connection - to be seen, heard, and understood as they are. Sex can facilitate that, but it can't be the only way for people to break down interpersonal barriers or we'll never manage to find our way back to a genuine sense of community.

    42 votes
    1. [2]
      Gaywallet
      Link Parent
      Connection, yes. We are social animals. Pair bonding, not so much - there's a lot of conflicting theories there and historical evidence to suggest that pair bonding is a relatively modern social...

      Our bodies (most of them, as far as I know) are hard-wired for pair bonding and connection

      Connection, yes. We are social animals. Pair bonding, not so much - there's a lot of conflicting theories there and historical evidence to suggest that pair bonding is a relatively modern social phenomenon and that smaller, much more intertwined communities were the regular.

      However, I'd argue against making generalized statements like "humans are hard wired for" because humans are so amazingly and vastly diverse. I think it's hard for us to think on the scale that the world and the internet operate on, and what is good for us is not necessarily good for others, let alone a group of 100 other people when we're picking from billions.

      With all that being said I completely agree that our society and culture are too heavily invested in sex, and weird boundaries around sex as well. The way we hyper-sexualize folks and treat sex as a huge deal are both problematic when it comes to connections, because it simultaneously makes it more desirable and puts it on a pedestal. Tweaking either of these levers would help quite a bit as we could de-emphasize it's importance or make it less of a big deal. Both of those adjustments would reduce the limelight that sex currently gets and make it less important of a factor when thinking about connection and loneliness allowing more space for other solutions such as increasing other social/community connections like friendships and third spaces (an extremely important factor according to academic literature on loneliness).

      53 votes
      1. zenen
        Link Parent
        Yep, I don't mean to dismiss polygyny, polyandry, non-monogamy, Congolese village wives, "we share everything"-type communes or anything like that. When I say 'our bodies', I'm talking about our...

        Yep, I don't mean to dismiss polygyny, polyandry, non-monogamy, Congolese village wives, "we share everything"-type communes or anything like that.

        When I say 'our bodies', I'm talking about our hormonal systems and neurotransmitters like oxytocin, and the fact that the physical vessel we exist in is a biological machine designed to replicate itself. Humans are not just bodies, we have culture and rational minds to act as an override and a buffer for animal instinct. Most large-scale cultures that I am aware of, though, have evolved to integrate monogamous pair-bonding as a core feature because everything else is a bit of an uphill battle.

        Anyways, yea modern culture seems to have this really weird mix of putting sex on a pedestal while at the same time... not giving it due respect? Like, social attitudes are largely based around sex as a status symbol rather than an interpersonal experience. It seems like society has assigned the value of sex to something external to the experience itself.

        I think that the above article does a pretty good job of representing this, actually: There's next to nothing being said about the actual people. The personal experience is relegated to a few check boxes and couple bullet points at the bottom of the page. Everything else is statistics, planning, how people were selected, etc - almost as if the point of the event was to write an article about it.

        24 votes
  3. MimicSquid
    Link
    I really appreciated her discussion about how awkward and unsexy the logistics of it were, as they matched my own awkward experience with being in spaces like that. Trying to be ready on a...

    I really appreciated her discussion about how awkward and unsexy the logistics of it were, as they matched my own awkward experience with being in spaces like that. Trying to be ready on a schedule, needing to finish and be done on a time limit, being surrounded by people who you aren't necessarily interested in... It's a sexy concept, at least for some, but the behind the scenes stuff really sparked both amusement and horrified sympathy.

    27 votes
  4. [7]
    karim
    Link
    Did anyone else, after reading this post, feel... Nauseated and disgusted? It's this feeling when looking at rotten food. I'm not here to judge anyone, just speaking about myself, I found the...

    Did anyone else, after reading this post, feel... Nauseated and disgusted? It's this feeling when looking at rotten food. I'm not here to judge anyone, just speaking about myself, I found the events described in the above post... Humiliating for everyone involved.

    Again, I'm just talking about myself, and wondering if anyone else has similar feelings or thoughts.

    16 votes
    1. stu2b50
      Link Parent
      Hm, not really. It was pretty weird, but in the end everyone seems to have consented and had a good time, so I don’t particularly feel “disgust”. Why do you feel it’s humiliating for the people...

      Hm, not really. It was pretty weird, but in the end everyone seems to have consented and had a good time, so I don’t particularly feel “disgust”. Why do you feel it’s humiliating for the people involved?

      Just felt like one of “slice of a strange subculture” posts.

      44 votes
    2. [3]
      knocklessmonster
      Link Parent
      All I can say is anything is not for everyone. And acknowledging how you feel after reading something publicly is honestly a pretty solid way to try to understand, in a sense. To me it was more...

      All I can say is anything is not for everyone. And acknowledging how you feel after reading something publicly is honestly a pretty solid way to try to understand, in a sense.

      To me it was more clinical, not particularly pornographic or even sexual, despite being about having sex with 80 men.

      16 votes
      1. [2]
        hungariantoast
        Link Parent
        Woah woah woah, to be clear, Aella did not have sex with 80 men, she had sex with 37 men (and still did not cum). That's a whole 46.25% less than 80 men!

        Woah woah woah, to be clear, Aella did not have sex with 80 men, she had sex with 37 men (and still did not cum).

        That's a whole 46.25% less than 80 men!

        15 votes
        1. knocklessmonster
          Link Parent
          Oh yeah, it was 83 people who were interviewed, that's my bad.

          Oh yeah, it was 83 people who were interviewed, that's my bad.

    3. Rudism
      Link Parent
      It comes across to me as possibly an intricate troll/shitpost aimed at making people with more conservative ideas of sex (which I think is probably most people) uncomfortable. That may or may not...

      It comes across to me as possibly an intricate troll/shitpost aimed at making people with more conservative ideas of sex (which I think is probably most people) uncomfortable. That may or may not be intentional, I don't really know anything about the author. If I read this from the perspective of "what would it be like..." then I do feel a little grossed out, but if I read it from more of an anthropological perspective then it's just interesting to me to glean a few details about a subculture of people that I have absolutely nothing in common with (at least as far as attitude toward sex and relationships go).

      6 votes
    4. JCPhoenix
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      I had feelings and thoughts. But they were in places that maybe I shouldn't mention, particularly the feelings. I didn't read the whole thing, rather skimmed most of it. I'm not part of that...

      I had feelings and thoughts. But they were in places that maybe I shouldn't mention, particularly the feelings.

      I didn't read the whole thing, rather skimmed most of it. I'm not part of that community. I don't think I ever will be or want to be. But I kinda found it oddly interesting. It was arousing, some might say.

      OK, OK I'll stop.

      4 votes
  5. [2]
    slashtab
    Link
    What did I just read?! and why did I read it?! I am just wondering what do all of this achieve? Isn't it all written just for the sake of being out there? someone please educate me on this. btw...

    What did I just read?! and why did I read it?!

    I am just wondering what do all of this achieve? Isn't it all written just for the sake of being out there? someone please educate me on this. btw didn't know what fluffer is.

    14 votes
    1. CptBluebear
      Link Parent
      It's a porn thing where fluffers try to keep the talent.. engaged between shooting the scenes. In this case it looked more like additional women participating (especially fluffer B was prolific),...

      It's a porn thing where fluffers try to keep the talent.. engaged between shooting the scenes. In this case it looked more like additional women participating (especially fluffer B was prolific), but I suppose they also functioned as a way to keep the men ready to go.

      16 votes
  6. [17]
    papasquat
    Link
    This thing has spawned a number of memes, not surprisingly. Honestly I find Aella to be one of the most insufferable people on the Internet, and her entire personality seems to be "average reddit...

    This thing has spawned a number of memes, not surprisingly.

    Honestly I find Aella to be one of the most insufferable people on the Internet, and her entire personality seems to be "average reddit commenter". I'm not sure if she has some sort of social disorder, but she regularly says things that are in massively poor taste or otherwise just really out there for the sake of being out there, or for attention, or some other reason, but it makes her out to be really off-putting.

    36 votes
    1. [2]
      SleventhTower
      Link Parent
      She's got some of that "I'm just asking questions" and "If I say something that offends you, that's your problem" energy that was popular among conservative commentators a while ago.

      She's got some of that "I'm just asking questions" and "If I say something that offends you, that's your problem" energy that was popular among conservative commentators a while ago.

      25 votes
      1. Promonk
        Link Parent
        I chalk it up to her having grown up a strict fundamentalist Christian.

        I chalk it up to her having grown up a strict fundamentalist Christian.

        8 votes
    2. [7]
      PelagiusSeptim
      Link Parent
      IIRC she went through a period where she was using LSD like every day, and I can't imagine that's going to have a positive effect on anyone's psyche

      IIRC she went through a period where she was using LSD like every day, and I can't imagine that's going to have a positive effect on anyone's psyche

      14 votes
      1. [6]
        mordae
        Link Parent
        I can't imagine it having a negative effect, though. Well unless your trip buddies are assholes.

        I can't imagine it having a negative effect, though.
        Well unless your trip buddies are assholes.

        1 vote
        1. [5]
          V17
          Link Parent
          You haven't met any people whose minds got a bit blurred or scrambled by taking psychedelics too often? I envy you, it's sometimes scary but mainly really, really annoying. Apart from an...

          You haven't met any people whose minds got a bit blurred or scrambled by taking psychedelics too often? I envy you, it's sometimes scary but mainly really, really annoying. Apart from an occasional straight up psychosis it can make a rational and grounded person into an esoteric weirdo who suddenly full on believes in healing power of sacred geometry. It normally completely fades away when they stay sober (no weed either) for about a year, but one has to realize they have a problem first, which is not common.

          However I don't know her and "using LSD like every day" sounds like it might just be microdosing which is unlikely to cause issues.

          13 votes
          1. PelagiusSeptim
            Link Parent
            I looked back at what I was referencing and it was more like every week, which isn't quite as bad but still a lot more than I would ever do. I believe it was full doses though, not just microdosing.

            I looked back at what I was referencing and it was more like every week, which isn't quite as bad but still a lot more than I would ever do. I believe it was full doses though, not just microdosing.

            1 vote
          2. [3]
            mordae
            Link Parent
            Not really, no. It obviously accelerates indoctrination into the occult, if you are exposed to it, but I know of people at the periphery of my social network who are into that without ever taking...

            Not really, no.

            It obviously accelerates indoctrination into the occult, if you are exposed to it, but I know of people at the periphery of my social network who are into that without ever taking any such substances. It just took them a bit longer.

            The effects from every day cannabis (on about 50% of people) feel way more pronounced to me.

            Also, you can't use LSD every day. The tolerance builds up too quickly. Maximum frequency is about every weekend. So unless you literally stay at home in between, you will get a hefty dose of unfiltered reality, especially during the afterglow.

            1. [2]
              V17
              Link Parent
              For sure, wasn't trying to imply otherwise. But I've seen a relatively strong shift in this direction from people who were otherwise rational, and those who stopped using for long enough gradually...

              but I know of people at the periphery of my social network who are into that without ever taking any such substances.

              For sure, wasn't trying to imply otherwise. But I've seen a relatively strong shift in this direction from people who were otherwise rational, and those who stopped using for long enough gradually became rational again and stopped being occult-adjacent.

              The effects from every day cannabis (on about 50% of people) feel way more pronounced to me.

              Also, you can't use LSD every day. The tolerance builds up too quickly. Maximum frequency is about every weekend. So unless you literally stay at home in between, you will get a hefty dose of unfiltered reality, especially during the afterglow.

              This is where I kind of disagree - yeah, the long-term effects of cannabis are usually much stronger, but imo that's just because many people use every day, which, as you say, is not possible with psychedelics. But using every other weekend long term and smoking weed inbetween (not even every day) is more than enough for some people and the two week pauses definitely are not enough to ground them.

              I do not claim to know what portion of regular (ab)users this affects, but I have seen it multiple times.

              2 votes
              1. mordae
                Link Parent
                I'll take your word for it. I've always believed that psychedelics are kind of self-regulating. That people would normally feel that they are not yet ready for another trip for quite a while and...

                I do not claim to know what portion of regular (ab)users this affects, but I have seen it multiple times.

                I'll take your word for it.

                I've always believed that psychedelics are kind of self-regulating. That people would normally feel that they are not yet ready for another trip for quite a while and process things.

                So apparently some people are weird.

                1 vote
    3. [5]
      guissmo
      Link Parent
      Is this something you know outside the context of this post? Didn’t seem insufferable here but I could understand the hate better if you know them from somewhere else.

      Is this something you know outside the context of this post?

      Didn’t seem insufferable here but I could understand the hate better if you know them from somewhere else.

      10 votes
      1. [4]
        papasquat
        Link Parent
        Yes, unfortunately. She's been a somewhat famous figure on the Internet for a while now. She's a prostitute/camgirl/psuedo intellectual, and fancies herself a statistician because of unnerving...

        Yes, unfortunately. She's been a somewhat famous figure on the Internet for a while now. She's a prostitute/camgirl/psuedo intellectual, and fancies herself a statistician because of unnerving twitter polls she posts like this one.

        She regularly makes tweets that are insanely out of touch, (which I have a suspicion that she knows, and just uses a "just asking questions" attitude to justify as another commented mentioned), like this or this.

        She's either completely out of touch and is just very confident about things she knows basically nothing about, or she's an intentional shit stirrer because she figures any engagement is good. Either one is really annoying for someone with a platform as large as hers though. She just has a "not like other girls"/reddit vibe that I find really grating.

        31 votes
        1. [3]
          public
          Link Parent
          What makes her so notable is that she’s a cis woman. Everyone else who spouts those opinions are college boys and young men who never outgrew their teenage edgelord phase. If she weren’t a woman,...

          NLoG+reddit vibe

          What makes her so notable is that she’s a cis woman. Everyone else who spouts those opinions are college boys and young men who never outgrew their teenage edgelord phase. If she weren’t a woman, she’d be another generic anime avatar contrarian.

          16 votes
          1. [2]
            updawg
            Link Parent
            NLog as is the logging platform for .NET?

            NLog as is the logging platform for .NET?

            7 votes
            1. nukeman
              Link Parent
              Not like the other girls

              Not like the other girls

              10 votes
  7. [4]
    gowestyoungman
    Link
    Interesting read, if somewhat unbelievable that I share the planet with someone whose sexual choices are THAT different from mine, but the world IS a strange place at times. The thing I find...

    Interesting read, if somewhat unbelievable that I share the planet with someone whose sexual choices are THAT different from mine, but the world IS a strange place at times.

    The thing I find incomprehensible is the men. Like, if I was watching another guy having sex with her, the LAST thing I'd be thinking is 'oh man I wanna go next'. More like, 'Ew, well its time to run away now' lol. My brain just cant wrap my head around the appeal of someone's sloppy seconds being appealing in ANY way.

    4 votes
    1. [3]
      MimicSquid
      Link Parent
      There's some data to suggest that reproductive competition in early humans occurred in situations where multiple men had sex with the same woman in short order. The shape of the glans effectively...

      There's some data to suggest that reproductive competition in early humans occurred in situations where multiple men had sex with the same woman in short order. The shape of the glans effectively draws seminal fluid out of the vaginal canal when thrusting. The very fact that experiencing other people having sex (i.e. pornography) is generally arousing, and that humans' sense of disgust is muted when they're aroused suggests a reproductive benefit to being the last man standing, so to speak.

      But yeah, current memes regarding family structures, inheritance law, and other aspects of the culture have definitely caused us to mostly default to a stance that that sort of sexual encounter is wrong. In modern humans, protecting your lineage is more about monopolization of reproductive opportunities as opposed to outlasting your competition.

      10 votes
      1. [2]
        DrEvergreen
        Link Parent
        The shape of the glans doesn't automatically make it so that gangbangs make sense. It is more likely in my opinion that we have been the way we are now for a long time. That "sneaking one in"...

        The shape of the glans doesn't automatically make it so that gangbangs make sense.

        It is more likely in my opinion that we have been the way we are now for a long time. That "sneaking one in" despite not being the head honcho of the group of apes, or the dedicated partner to the individual female still leaves you with better chances of your dna being passed on if you "scoop out" what was left there from before.

        Or it could be completely random and just a byproduct of some early mutation.

        3 votes
        1. MimicSquid
          Link Parent
          Yeah, fair enough. It's merely one of a number of different opportunity cases.

          Yeah, fair enough. It's merely one of a number of different opportunity cases.

          1 vote
  8. [3]
    hungariantoast
    Link

    Men who weren’t participating got to hang out in the main space or in a hot tub, where at least some networking occurred - I heard one man say “I didn’t expect to meet another YC founder here”.

    21 votes
    1. TheD00d
      Link Parent
      One of the least surprising and most surprising things I read in this entire article. Absolutely unreal.

      One of the least surprising and most surprising things I read in this entire article. Absolutely unreal.

      11 votes
    2. leaK_u
      Link Parent
      Honestly that sounds like it's straight from a skit.

      Honestly that sounds like it's straight from a skit.

      4 votes
  9. [4]
    Pavouk106
    Link
    I havejust skimmed the text and I will definitely read it later! I love statistics and this one seems like.it was run just to generate them! It will be interesting read... from quite a few and...

    I havejust skimmed the text and I will definitely read it later! I love statistics and this one seems like.it was run just to generate them! It will be interesting read... from quite a few and very different angles.

    1. [3]
      fxgn
      Link Parent
      If you enjoyed the statistics part of this, you may also enjoy this post: https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/3qf3nNaMBEArA2RM4/what-s-it-like-to-have-sex-with-duncan

      If you enjoyed the statistics part of this, you may also enjoy this post:

      https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/3qf3nNaMBEArA2RM4/what-s-it-like-to-have-sex-with-duncan

      3 votes
      1. Pavouk106
        (edited )
        Link Parent
        Once again - saved for later when I have time to go through that. Thanks!

        Once again - saved for later when I have time to go through that. Thanks!

        1 vote
      2. updawg
        Link Parent
        He claims to be a mesomorph, which is apparently someone with a compact, muscular frame, but he is 5'8" and 200 lbs? Either he is incredibly muscular or he is lying to himself.

        He claims to be a mesomorph, which is apparently someone with a compact, muscular frame, but he is 5'8" and 200 lbs? Either he is incredibly muscular or he is lying to himself.