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    1. Friends and loss

      If applicable: how & why have your lost friends? I'll start. One: I was terrible and certainly deserved some alienation. Though, I mostly self-pariahed. Beyond that, though... I worked with...

      If applicable: how & why have your lost friends?

      I'll start. One: I was terrible and certainly deserved some alienation. Though, I mostly self-pariahed. Beyond that, though... I worked with friends and they sucked so bad it was hard to continue liking them.

      Well, how 'bout you??

      13 votes
    2. Misguided things our parents did

      I'd like to hear your stories of things your parents did with good intentions that went wrong. This is mine. When I was very young – old enough that I can remember it, but young enough that I...

      I'd like to hear your stories of things your parents did with good intentions that went wrong. This is mine.

      When I was very young – old enough that I can remember it, but young enough that I wasn't going to school full time yet – my mother would volunteer at a local nursing home. I never met my maternal grandmother. I think she died a year or two before I was born. I have a vague memory of meeting my maternal grandfather, and there are photos of it, but he died when I was still quite young. Maybe 4 or 5. I don't believe either of my grandparents were in ill health before their deaths. But I think that their deaths affected my mother and she wanted to help other elderly people, so she started volunteering at the nursing home.

      I have 2 older brothers who by this time were in school most of the day, leaving my mother and me at home alone. I think she also got bored of doing housework and wanted to do something useful with her time. (I can't say I blame her!) I suspect she also thought that the residents of the nursing home would enjoy interacting with a child, even if it wasn't their own grandchild. So she took me with her. I think she wanted me to learn to value elderly people and to learn to value community service.

      Unfortunately, she failed miserably. What I learned was that old people are scary as fuck and I didn't want to be anywhere near them. You this was a nursing home. This was not an "old folks home" where they play canasta, have dances, and engage in elderly hanky panky. This was end-of-life care for people dying of cancer, and the now-preventable diseases like polio. The entire place reeked of vomit, and the old people were hard of hearing and weird. They were almost always in a bed or wheelchair, and usually in hospital gowns. There were often sounds of screaming from other rooms where some patient was in terrible pain from whatever ailment they suffered.

      The residents were all old and gray haired except for one. He was a young man. He had to be younger than my mother who would have been in her early 30s. He was probably 20-ish years old. His hair was not gray - it was dark black and close cut with electric clippers, though not quite a crew cut. He was always in a hospital gown and always in a wheelchair that had an IV pole on it (though I don't recall there ever being anything hanging from it). And while he looked normal, he had some sort of mental deficit where he could only grunt and moan. I would often see him loudly moaning and gesticulating as if trying to point at something to say, "give me that," or "take me over there."

      The one bright side to this place was that there was a woman in a red and white striped uniform who pushed around a cart full of every type of candy imaginable! I wanted so much to get a peanut butter cup or a chocolate bar from her, but no. Her candy was strictly off-limits to me. (I don't know whether it was cost or health that made my mother refuse to ever let me have a piece of candy.)

      I'm pretty sure my mother was trying to teach me the value of both old people and volunteering to help our community. But as a ~4 year old, it was too much. It instead taught me that getting old meant pain, suffering, and eventually death, and that old people are scary as fuck. I didn't want to get old or be around old people. (I eventually got over it and now am nearing being an old person myself. 😉)

      20 votes
    3. Are there any aspects of your mental life that you know/suspect to be idiosyncratic?

      As it is only possible to know what it is like to be yourself, it could be that you perceive the world in a completely different way than is typical and have no idea that that is the case. Hence...

      As it is only possible to know what it is like to be yourself, it could be that you perceive the world in a completely different way than is typical and have no idea that that is the case. Hence the existence of invisible disabilities such as face blindness or double vision, conditions such as synesthesia and aphantasia, etc. I am curious if anyone here experiences any such mental/perceptual phenomenon that could possibly be unique to you/atypical. Or if you experience one of the above it would be very interesting to hear about as well!

      Some examples of what I'm going for:

      • a YouTuber/blogger I follow claims their internal monologue takes the form of a humming or buzzing following the cadence and intonation, but not the sounds, of speech.
      • my personal inner monologue is usually more of a "dialogue", as in a discussion between me and 1+ imaginary participants (usually someone I know IRL or a character from a book). Although I don't perceive "them" as a separate entity I can't really predict what "they" will say. (feel free to comment if you experience this as well! I only suspect this is weird because mental vocalization is typically referred to as monologue but maybe this is totally normal?)
      • I'm pretty sure I experience emotions at a much shallower level than most. When I was very young I actually considered the possibility that I was a robot constructed by my parents, based on some Twilight Zone episode. I would say 95% of the time I don't really feel any emotion and when I do, it feels much less intense than it seems to be for most people judging by their behavior.
      • When I'm reading particularly dense text or have spent some time memorizing things, there is sometimes a certain sensation in my head, which, while I wouldn't really call it tiredness or exhaustion, does compel me to stop studying or whatever I'm doing. It's almost analogous to muscle soreness?
      22 votes
    4. No news 'til November

      I'm going on a news fast until after Samhain (that's Hallowe'en for you non-heathens). Still figuring out what, exactly, that means, but basically, I'm minimizing (ideally, eliminating) my...

      I'm going on a news fast until after Samhain (that's Hallowe'en for you non-heathens). Still figuring out what, exactly, that means, but basically, I'm minimizing (ideally, eliminating) my exposure to ... hmmm ... I guess "unnecessary stress and anxiety" is the best summary.

      Turned off my Feedly (ahem) feed. No more Mastodon, etc. I'll still be visiting Tildes, but less ... and I just finished tuning out the news from my postings list (unsubscribed from ~enviro, ~finance, ~health, ~lgbt, and of course, ~news ... added a bunch of tag filters — covid, Trump, politics, the FAANG corps, etc). That seems to have killed 95% of the stress-inducing headlines. Will add more tag filters, as they prove necessary.

      Thoughts? Anyone already try this? Anyone wanna join me?

      PS: I have no idea how to tag this post. Tildes ModGods, please have at it, but try not to add any tags that'll inadvertently hide my own post from me. Danke, y gracias.

      22 votes
    5. Thoughts on a management information systems degree?

      i'm currently on the path to receive a BS in business administration management information systems concentration from a four year state school. i was accepted to my major near the end of this...

      i'm currently on the path to receive a BS in business administration management information systems concentration from a four year state school. i was accepted to my major near the end of this spring. my university also has a data analytics minor that i am heavily considering.

      once i am done with summer classes i plan to really dive deeper into excel and ease into learning sql b/c that will help in lots of MIS contexts it seems.

      i read online that MIS is a great degree that can lead into system admin, database admin, network admin, or business/it/system analyst roles. id find any of these careers interesting so at this point in time i feel on the right path. most importantly i just want to a job that will allow me to live a comfortable life, ya know?

      i have never really met anyone that has an MIS degree before so i have no idea what the job market is actually like for degree holders beyond clickbait articles that say how great it is. if you have an mis degree, what is your experience with it and what kind of role are you working? would you recommend this degree to someone else? what skills do you recommend most for hire-ability? id assume this is area specific, but i live in the PNW and live near an area with a strong biz/tech scene and lots of govt opportunities.

      i was recently speaking with some CS majors and they were talking about how MIS is a garbage non-technical degree that isnt good for much. obviously CS is a harder more technical degree that can result in higher salary but i feel they were just trying to put my down for pursuing what they saw as a lesser degree, but nonetheless it put a sense of fear into me about my potential career opportunities.

      i just need some guidance and would like to hear your experience.

      thank you

      7 votes
    6. What gets you out of bed?

      Responsibilities can be hard sometimes. Sometimes, we aren't acknowledged for our efforts. What gets you out of bed? What's the narrative you have with yourself as you stare at the ceiling as your...

      Responsibilities can be hard sometimes. Sometimes, we aren't acknowledged for our efforts.

      What gets you out of bed? What's the narrative you have with yourself as you stare at the ceiling as your alarm jingles? On a side note: What your alarm sound? Is it as brutal as a bullhorn? Or do you prefer something calm, like trickling water?

      Related: How do you prefer to be acknowledged at home or compensated at work? Do financial incentives get you going or do you prefer thoughtful gifts or do you look forward speaking with a coworker you get along with?

      I've had 3 "adult" jobs. With each job, I've been getting less and less financial compensation (yeah, I know, I'm going the wrong way!). However, with every job, I'm getting happier/more content. I'm not sure if it's related to the financial compensation or just me learning more about myself. I remember working 24/7 at my highest compensation. I had to have my work phone on me at all times, getting phone calls at any time of day (coworkers) and night (contractors). At my second "adult" job, I found that my interpersonal relationship with my coworker(s) made me happier. I'd get out of bed and say "oh, can't wait to tell 'x' about this dream I had" or a new recipe I tried. It also helped that my second job was something I found important (I was an engineer who worked on reducing energy and water consumption for apartment complexes), and the majority of my coworkers felt the same. The job I'm currently in falls right in line with what I studied in school. I work for a consultant company in the wastewater infrastructure field. I'm happy to even have gotten this opportunity. I see it as very important. However, since I work in the field of poo, many of my coworkers and contractors I work with seem very jaded and only has financial compensation in mind. It's hard to be surrounded by that type of attitude. One coworker mentioned that "it's not like people want to work in sewage" and I said "actually, I studied it in school. I just never was able to get my foot in the door until now and I feel lucky that it happened." Don't get me wrong, the work is hard and there are days one gets exhausted and it ALWAYS stinks. But it's important. It effects the health of people and the environment if it isn't done right. Yeah, I'm rambling. I'm just trying to say I thrive off the attitude of people around me. Interpersonal relationships, for me, are better than financial compensation. Don't get me wrong.. pay me fairly, but I'm not going to be bummed if I don't get a huge raise every year. The pay check doesn't get me to work, the people do.

      25 votes
    7. Male dominated fields

      Are you in a male dominated field or have you been in a male dominated field in the past? What was your experience like? Any funny/heartbreaking/etc. stories or interactions you would like to...

      Are you in a male dominated field or have you been in a male dominated field in the past? What was your experience like? Any funny/heartbreaking/etc. stories or interactions you would like to share? What do/did you like/dislike about it? What would you change? How would the field change if males were no longer the majority? What advice would you give to anyone coming into a male dominated field?

      19 votes
    8. Tell me about your living space

      With widespread lockdowns and quarantines having been in place for awhile now, I imagine many of us are more intimately familiar with our living spaces -- houses, apartments, rooms, wherever we're...

      With widespread lockdowns and quarantines having been in place for awhile now, I imagine many of us are more intimately familiar with our living spaces -- houses, apartments, rooms, wherever we're stuck -- than we ever have been. We know them inside and out, along with all their positives, negatives, and quirks.

      Tell me all about:

      • What's the breakdown of your living space?
      • What do you appreciate about it?
      • What bothers you about it?
      • In what ways have you made the space "yours"?
      • Do you share it with anyone: pets, plants, or people?
      • Are you happy with where you are?
      • Is there anything you'd recommend for others regarding their living spaces?
      26 votes
    9. How many hours per day are you working?

      If you are tracking your time, how many hours of focused work are you doing per day on average? What I mean with focused work is only the time that you are working. Not counting the time you take...

      If you are tracking your time, how many hours of focused work are you doing per day on average?

      What I mean with focused work is only the time that you are working. Not counting the time you take a break, not counting the time you go to the bathroom, not counting the time you get up to drink water, etc. If you don't stop your time-tracker during non-work activities, please mention it.

      14 votes
    10. For those in marriages or long-term relationships, what do you do with mementos of previous relationships?

      I recently went through some old boxes and found my collection of mementos - birthday cards, love letters, ticket stubs, etc. - from years gone by. I'm not convinced marriage will ever be for me,...

      I recently went through some old boxes and found my collection of mementos - birthday cards, love letters, ticket stubs, etc. - from years gone by. I'm not convinced marriage will ever be for me, but I've always imagined if I were to get to that point, I'd want to show such a collection to my SO as a way for them to fully understand my story, so to speak. On the one hand, I think of it as a pretty powerful expression of trust in your partner... but I realize the potential for that to massively backfire by introducing jealousy and insecurities. At the same time, I'm very strongly of the belief that what is shared within a relationship is not to be shared with others outside it without mutual consent. I hate gossip, and have had my share of conflict throughout the years over desiring more privacy and discretion in my various SO's conversations with their friends and family about us. That means I would probably choose to leave aside certain things out of respect for my exes, but then I'm not sure if that devalues the gesture.

      Any thoughts?

      24 votes
    11. Games for "the flame"

      TL;DR: What do you do with your SO (if anything) to spark some fun? Do you have a go-to move, or game that gets interest going for some fun? A lot of us have been sheltering in place for some time...

      TL;DR: What do you do with your SO (if anything) to spark some fun? Do you have a go-to move, or game that gets interest going for some fun?

      A lot of us have been sheltering in place for some time now due to covid-19. What do you do to keep things from getting stale- to show effort, appreciation, and attraction for your significant other?

      I'm trying to keep things relatively fresh, but we don't have much space where we are. It takes, for example "naked billiards" off the table. I think they have a copy of "Twister" somewhere, so I might try to see if they're into a game night for some physical closeness. If you have a deck of cards, you can always do strip poker, but it might be a little underwhelming.

      Of course, it doesn't always have to be a competition either, back/foot rubs are always a well received from both sides in my experience. I'm also aware of a concept called "Chore-Play[*]" and I try to do what I can to make sure my SO never feels like they're pulling the weight for both of us.

      I obviously had a couple ideas, but I'm looking for some inspiration too! I'd like so have some things on the back-burner to whip out when the occasion calls for it, or when the time is right.

      PS: I'm not really sure what to expect for responses to this, I know it's a rather personal topic and sharing information like that can be uncomfortable for some. You don't have to share what you do in your relationship if you're not comfortable (obviously), but maybe you share a link of some cool ideas you found somewhere instead? IDK, let's get creative with it!

      [*]: With that being said, there is another definition of choreplay that I don't think is what we're after (collectively). I'm not talking about using sex as a bargaining chip for chores, which is what some perceive it as. I'm talking about taking the actions to make your partner feel like valued and appreciated half of the relationship. With those feelings of appreciation and care, comes romance and intimacy.

      14 votes
    12. Any bike commuters here?

      I just started biking to work this week, and I'm loving it so far. I still need a lot of gear for max comfort, and I need to work out whether to shower at work or what, but I'm excited to figure...

      I just started biking to work this week, and I'm loving it so far. I still need a lot of gear for max comfort, and I need to work out whether to shower at work or what, but I'm excited to figure those things out.

      Wondering if anyone else on Tildes commutes by bike, what your experience has been, any tips you might have!

      24 votes
    13. What personal goals are you working towards?

      Inspired by similar topics such as "what are you reading" and "what creative project are you working on", and being obsessed with structured self-development, I thought I'd start this. As the...

      Inspired by similar topics such as "what are you reading" and "what creative project are you working on", and being obsessed with structured self-development, I thought I'd start this.
      As the title says. Share what your goal is, why you want to achieve it and how you will go about it (the steps/behaviors). You can include a timeline/target date which hopefully will instill a sense of accountability and increase motivation.
      I'm also hoping to get some inspiration and/or tips for my own life goals.

      If this gains interest I might post this once a quarter for follow-ups and new goals.

      I'll share mine in a comment below.

      25 votes
    14. For those getting ready to go back to school: how do you feel about it?

      The question is open to anyone attending any level of school in any capacity. How are you feeling? What are you excited about? What are you nervous about? What are your goals? What are you hoping...

      The question is open to anyone attending any level of school in any capacity.

      How are you feeling?
      What are you excited about?
      What are you nervous about?
      What are your goals?
      What are you hoping to get out of your education?

      14 votes
    15. What are some lifehacks you would recommend?

      Given the ambiguity of the term "lifehack", feel free to contribute anything that you feel fits the label. It can be a specific technique, a novel way of using an item, or even a mindset. It can...

      Given the ambiguity of the term "lifehack", feel free to contribute anything that you feel fits the label. It can be a specific technique, a novel way of using an item, or even a mindset. It can be a little-known product or a recommendation--whatever you deem fit, as long as it improves quality of life, productivity, or satisfaction.

      26 votes
    16. What are your long term savings goals? Are you saving towards a purchase of anything in particular?

      For me, saving money has been pretty tough but my goal is to maintain a minimum of 4 months pay in the bank in case of hard times. My fiance started her MBA and we have been fortunate that we can...

      For me, saving money has been pretty tough but my goal is to maintain a minimum of 4 months pay in the bank in case of hard times. My fiance started her MBA and we have been fortunate that we can pay for it outright instead of adding on top of our loans. In the past year I have gotten a bit into churning and using the rewards to help partially pay for vacations throughout the year which has helped a bunch.

      I'm interested to read about any goals we are working towards and also talk about different savings strategies!

      14 votes
    17. Living off grid? Can you share your living situation?

      I've written about my living situation previously but am curious as to whether there are any other tilderinos living off grid. What sort of accommodation do you live in? What do you do for a...

      I've written about my living situation previously but am curious as to whether there are any other tilderinos living off grid. What sort of accommodation do you live in? What do you do for a living (if anything)? Are you self sufficient to done extent? How do you use technology to improve your lifestyle?

      17 votes
    18. What advice or wisdom would you give to someone 10 years younger than you?

      It can be specific or broad, and it can be aimed at a particular type of person based on your experiences (e.g. people in my city, people with fibromyalgia, etc.) or just people at large. Also,...

      It can be specific or broad, and it can be aimed at a particular type of person based on your experiences (e.g. people in my city, people with fibromyalgia, etc.) or just people at large.

      Also, given that age is a very identifying piece of information, feel free to give a range if you're not comfortable sharing your exact age (e.g. "I'm in my 40s" rather than "I'm 42").

      • What advice or wisdom would you give to someone 10 years younger than you?
      • What would you have wanted to know 10 years ago that someone older could have shared with you?
      • If you'd heard the kind of advice you're giving, would you have listened to it 10 years ago?
      29 votes
    19. How much money would you need to live the life that you want to live?

      Consider the life you want to live, from the essentials to the luxuries. House, car, food, tech, kids, etc. Furthermore, consider where you want to live. Rural France? Downtown Tokyo? For the...

      Consider the life you want to live, from the essentials to the luxuries. House, car, food, tech, kids, etc. Furthermore, consider where you want to live. Rural France? Downtown Tokyo?

      For the purposes of the question I don't want you to think of the life of your wildest dreams (e.g. private jet, personal island, etc.), but I don't want you to think bare minimum either. Focus instead on "comfortable and fulfilling" according entirely to your own standards--a life that lets you live well and follow your aspirations with a sense of financial safety. Do not feel obligated to give a low, reasonable answer if your aspirations are higher, and don't feel obligated to shoot high if you're fine with a lower-cost lifestyle. Set your number entirely based around the desired archetypal life you want, rather than what you think is necessarily achievable based on your current financial situation.

      Furthermore, don't anchor your hypothetical income to real-world standards. If you want to, for example, teach kindergarteners for a living and live in downtown San Francisco, and your desired income is $200,000 USD a year, that's perfectly fine for the purposes of this discussion despite the fact that you would be hard pressed to find a school there in real life that pays that much. I'm much more interested in the hypotheticals of the costs in your life rather than the feasibility of the income. Think of this less as a real-world budget and more of a thought experiment/personal reflection.

      With all that in mind:

      • What are the details of the life you want to live?
      • Where do you want to live it?
      • How much money would you need each year to make that feasible for you, and why?

      I'm not interested in anything exact--just a ballpark estimate. And you don't need to give a full budget or anything. This should loose napkin math at best.

      Also, to make things easier for everyone:

      • Give your money as an amount per year.
      • Give the currency you're using.
      • Use combined income if your desired life involves multiple people.
      • Do not judge someone else's desired life nor income.

      Also, please specify which currency you are reporting in so that people can convert it to their local currency if needed to get a better sense of it.

      15 votes
    20. What is a scam that people should know about?

      There are, sadly, far too many people and companies out there more than willing to take advantage of people. Fortunately, awareness is usually a good defense. What are some scams that we should...

      There are, sadly, far too many people and companies out there more than willing to take advantage of people. Fortunately, awareness is usually a good defense. What are some scams that we should all know about so that we don't fall for them?

      38 votes
    21. What are you most proud of in your life?

      Someone asked me this recently, and I wasn't sure how to answer. Not because I can't self-identify things I've accomplished, but because it can seem boastful to openly express them. For this...

      Someone asked me this recently, and I wasn't sure how to answer. Not because I can't self-identify things I've accomplished, but because it can seem boastful to openly express them.

      For this thread, I want to remove any and all social restrictions on boasting. Talk yourself up! Be loud and proud! Navel-gazing is not only allowed, but encouraged!

      I chose the title based off how the question was phrased to me, but I'm really interested in what you consider to be your most positive achievements and characteristics. As such, consider the following series of questions as a jumping off point:

      • What are you most proud of in your life?
      • What are your biggest accomplishments/successes in life?
      • What are you good at?
      • What are your unique talents and skills?
      • What makes you individually awesome and stand out from others?
      • What significant hardships have you overcome?
      • How you have you changed your life, others' lives, or the world for the better?
      20 votes
    22. People who work from home: what you do on your breaks?

      Working and studying from home, it's hard not to acquire bad habits. Most of the time I follow the Pomodoro Technique, so I have constant small breaks instead of large ones. But sometimes I just...

      Working and studying from home, it's hard not to acquire bad habits. Most of the time I follow the Pomodoro Technique, so I have constant small breaks instead of large ones. But sometimes I just stay on the computer looking at different things such as Reddit and Tildes, and it doesn't feel very restful. At the same time, if I change the context too much, it's easy to lose track of time (yes, even with apps), and I have trouble refocusing on my work, study etc.

      This may seem like a trivial problem for some, but not for me!

      Summing up: what can I do on my breaks (4 x 5 minutes followed by 1 x 25 minutes) that is both restful and pleasurable, but not excessively engaging?

      15 votes
    23. What's missing from your life?

      A bit of a darker or at least more introspective question than I usually ask, but I think it's a valid one and something worth considering. It's something I've been grappling with recently myself....

      A bit of a darker or at least more introspective question than I usually ask, but I think it's a valid one and something worth considering. It's something I've been grappling with recently myself.

      As you reflect on your life, is there something which makes its absence known? Something you wish you had, but don't? Do you think you'll ever be able to change, fill, fix, or work around it? Do you think it'll change with time or remain permanent? How does the missing whatever-it-is impact your life?

      A final note: given that people are likely going to be sharing some difficult stuff, it's important to remember that empathic listening, particularly online, isn't usually about offering solutions. Questions are often better than answers in conversations of this type.

      45 votes
    24. Tipping thoughts?

      I apologize in advance for the massive flame war which will likely ensue but I'm not sure we have a thread for this yet. General thoughts on tipping? Not US specific, could be about anywhere

      14 votes
    25. How much actual work do you do in a day?

      After watching Office Space for the first time a few weeks ago, I was struck by the scene where Peter is talking about his average working day, and it got me to wondering about how much actual...

      After watching Office Space for the first time a few weeks ago, I was struck by the scene where Peter is talking about his average working day, and it got me to wondering about how much actual work I do at my job. I'm pretty sure that even on a good day, I put in less than 2 hours of actual graft. The rest is just mindless internetting, chatting with my colleagues, and wishing I was elsewhere.
      So I'm curious how much work other people actually do in a day, and how you pass the time when you're not doing anything at all?

      30 votes
    26. Tilderinoes with mental health issues: do you feel like happiness is impossible?

      By “happiness” I don't mean “the place where happy people are happy all the time”, but rather “the absence of persisting suffering”. For some context, I've been suffering from clinical depression...

      By “happiness” I don't mean “the place where happy people are happy all the time”, but rather “the absence of persisting suffering”.

      For some context, I've been suffering from clinical depression for over nine years now. Maybe more. I've been hurt by other people many times in my life, especially in childhood and during school. I have almost never felt connected to another human being, and the older I get, the harder it gets to get any kind of intimacy. I feel like “I'm a creep and I'm a weirdo” regularly, as if my teen angst has never left me. On a good day I will merely be tired, and I think I don't need to describe a bad day.

      Recently I've been discovering interesting approaches to therapy and using awareness to “pull yourself by the boot straps”, but whenever the time comes to actually use them in practice, a very real question: “Why should I do it? Happiness is impossible, I will always be what I am, so why go through additional pain of trying to change anything when the result isn't guaranteed?”.

      So the question is: how do you answer this (loaded) question? How do you get back your faith in better future for yourself when you have so little experience actually being better? Can you actually do that?

      34 votes
    27. What is your plan for self-growth in the new year?

      Whether you will start it on January 1st or already doing it, what is it that is going to make you a better person? For me, I decided to limit my two biggest timesinks, namely, Youtube and Reddit....

      Whether you will start it on January 1st or already doing it, what is it that is going to make you a better person?

      For me, I decided to limit my two biggest timesinks, namely, Youtube and Reddit. I started several days ago and won't wisit them at all before I pass all the exams. Before, they were often an excuse for me to spend time basically doing nothing. Time to change that. (And yet, I'm doing the dame thing right now with ~, but oh well, it doesn't have content anyway)

      28 votes
    28. Note-taking, bookmarks, reminders and todos: What do you use to organize your life?

      I find myself on a bit of an unending quest to organize my own thoughts, especially since my work evolved into multiple streams on different projects. I have been looking for a tool to help me...

      I find myself on a bit of an unending quest to organize my own thoughts, especially since my work evolved into multiple streams on different projects.

      I have been looking for a tool to help me organize myself and focus on the things I want to do. More specifically, I keep wanting to improve my ability to remember things: Be able to remember faster, longer, recall more reliably, categorize, filter and export those things, etc.
      Links, reading material, "watch later" material, todo lists, contacts, phone numbers/emails, identities, what I know about people, reminders, highlights, emails to respond to, work logging, etc. The more I think about it, the more I have this need for a tool that essentially acts as a permanent second brain.

      I feel like I've tried everything. Note-taking apps like Keep, orgmode, wikis, journals, disorganized text files, issue trackers, Pocket, gmail itself, calendar reminders, even Magic. Nothing quite works. The issues I most consistently hit are:

      • The method is not good enough at ingesting abstract data. Examples: Anything calendar-bound is not good at storing anything that isn't related to a point in time. Pocket cannot store things that aren't links to web pages.
      • The method is far too cumbersome to be able to braindump into it or too impractical to retrieve data from. Examples: Wikis, Keep and other object-based note-taking systems are unfilterable unless you take a ton of time to attach a lot of metadata to each note. Magic is too asynchronous as you sometimes wait several minutes for responses (and it also gets far too expensive to use at the level I'd like).

      Despite trying everything, I don't know if I want to build that tool myself, because I think it probably already exists somewhere (and it might be down to me not knowing how to use the things that are already out there). Although if someone does feel inspired to build that, hit me up. :)

      My current flow looks like a frankenstein mix of Keep/Gmail/Calendar, which at least integrate with one another, and a ton of proprietary or dissociated methods (including Pocket, Discord, Spreadsheets/Drive, Magic, Kayak, 1Password and a ton of duplicate files and documents). Then it just becomes a matter of remembering what type of information is where, and how to best find it.

      So Tildes, what do you use?

      23 votes
    29. Are/were you addicted to anything?

      Are you or were you ever addicted to alcohol, drugs, food, etc? If you are, how do you manage? Do you want to quit? If you quit, how? What/who helped you? What were your realisations?

      29 votes
    30. What's the worst person you've ever had to deal with for an extended period of time?

      Mine would definitely have to be my sister in law, who I live with. I daily wake up to headaches from her yelling, once a week she threatens to leave with my brothers children for irrational...

      Mine would definitely have to be my sister in law, who I live with. I daily wake up to headaches from her yelling, once a week she threatens to leave with my brothers children for irrational reasons, and she claims to be a "prisoner in the house" when she can literally leave at any time and nobody will care.

      Example: Today I asked my brothers if they wanted me to fire up my hookah. She came out yelling about smoking weed around her kids and then left out front to vent to someone loudly on the phone for half an hour. There was no weed, the hookah was in a different room, and they smoke cigarettes around their kid all the time.

      12 votes
    31. How do you deal with stress?

      Basically the title. Looking online you see stuff like "get sleep!" "eat healthy!" but that's just like general health stuff and yeah unhealthiness is stressful but it doesn't really reduce stress...

      Basically the title. Looking online you see stuff like "get sleep!" "eat healthy!" but that's just like general health stuff and yeah unhealthiness is stressful but it doesn't really reduce stress much.

      So what do you guys do when you want to depressurize and relax a little bit? I haven't ever actually tried it but I hea want to try meditation, just need to set aside a chunk of time for it.

      30 votes
    32. Parents: have your kids been affected by age-inappropriate content?

      I was having a conversation with one of my coworkers who mentioned that her child showed a fascination with scary, Halloween-type stuff starting around age 6. She and her husband had a hard time...

      I was having a conversation with one of my coworkers who mentioned that her child showed a fascination with scary, Halloween-type stuff starting around age 6. She and her husband had a hard time with whether they should let him enjoy it or limit it. They weren't sure whether to let him read scary books or watch spooky stuff on YouTube, particularly because it's the type of content that can very easily be age-inappropriate--especially for a 6 year old. Nevertheless, it was relatively easy for them to keep it to stuff like Jack-o-Lanterns and black cats since he was so young.

      The boy is now older but has retained his interest, and the parents are still struggling with decisions about allowable content, especially because he is starting to age into books and movies that deal with much darker stuff, particularly ideas about death/violence.

      I'm not a parent, but I am a teacher, and I have to admit that I'm uncomfortable with some of the stuff my students are exposed to. Over the years I've heard students as young as twelve discuss horror movies like the Saw series or The Human Centipede. I've had middle school students bring books like Gone Girl and 50 Shades of Gray to class. On one hand, I think kids are resilient, and I think a lot of the more difficult or disturbing stuff doesn't quite land for them because they don't really have a context into which to put it yet. I also believe that fictional media is a mostly safe way for us to explore troubling or disturbing ideas.

      On the other hand, I think the internet has caused our children to grow up a lot faster than they used to, as they are exposed to mature content (whether intentionally or accidentally) from a very early age. When I was growing up the worst I could do was check out a slightly-risqué book from the school library and hope my parents never found it in my backpack. Now kids are watching violent (often real-world) and pornographic content starting as young as elementary school. Nothing can make your heart sink quite like sixth graders talking excitedly over lunch about a video of a real person getting crushed to death.

      What I genuinely don't know is if this has any negative developmental effect. Am I just clutching my pearls here? I'd love to hear some parents talk about how they've handled the decision of what's right for their kids and whether they've had fallout from their kids consuming content that's not appropriate for them.

      26 votes
    33. Americans who expatriated from the US to Canada--or Canadians who know them--how are you/they faring?

      I'm interested in all responses, but if the answer is "well" or better and the following are factors that contributed to that sense of well-being, could you divulge your job industry, if...

      I'm interested in all responses, but if the answer is "well" or better and the following are factors that contributed to that sense of well-being, could you divulge your job industry, if applicable, and/or the Canadian city where you currently reside? (If privacy-minded or jealously guarding a secret utopia, province would suffice. Thank you.)

      About me: besides the current political and lazy-to-anti-intellectual climate of the US, I'm pressingly concerned about global warming; after a dozen years of living in and around refreshing Seattle (compared to southern California), I had to give in and buy an air conditioner this summer. Anecdotally, it seems to be a trend.

      11 votes