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  1. Comment on Want to get in the gym? Here are some tips from a beginner.* in ~health

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    I agree with that, filming my side for deadlifts and squats really helped my form. Having someone check it helps too!

    I agree with that, filming my side for deadlifts and squats really helped my form. Having someone check it helps too!

  2. Comment on Want to get in the gym? Here are some tips from a beginner.* in ~health

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    That's a very good idea! It's kinda what I had in mind. My goal is just to reinforce my shoulders and knees and get fit.

    That's a very good idea! It's kinda what I had in mind. My goal is just to reinforce my shoulders and knees and get fit.

    2 votes
  3. Want to get in the gym? Here are some tips from a beginner.*

    I wanted to hit the gym all my life, but I never really made it until this year. Granted, I do have a sports background and have been active most of my life, but going to the gym was never really...

    I wanted to hit the gym all my life, but I never really made it until this year. Granted, I do have a sports background and have been active most of my life, but going to the gym was never really for me, until I decided to really do it this year. After years of shoulder and knee problems, I thought adding some muscle to my frame was definitely needed if I didn't want to be in pain all my life.

    Since I had thought about going to the gym for years now, I feel like I gathered a good bit of information that REALLY helped me to go now. Here they are:

    • The routine is more important than the results; regardless of any information I give you about macros, weights, sets, proteins, whatever all that, going to the gym one more time is going to be better than not going. Results take a LONG time. You will not see progress after a month. You may not see progress after 2 months. You may start to see some progress after 3 months. Real progress takes many months, years. That's why your number one priority should simply be to go to the gym, even if your workout is the worst ever and you use two machines in 30 minutes. Going to the gym 4 times a week is better than 3, going 3 times a week is better than 2 and so on. It takes about 3 months to a year to have the routine set in your life. After that and during that, you'll have all the time in the world to think about how to optimize your training, but just going and sticking to the routine of going is more important than anything else.

    • Choose the easiest, most accessible gym option; the goal is to go. You should make this the easiest for you. Choose a gym that is easily accessible, before or after work. The closer, the better. Heck, your gym can even be your own home! Make some place for you to workout if you want to. You can easily do very good home workouts with maybe 100-150$ worth of equipment.

    • Stick to a simple workout plan; There are some easy plans: target 2 muscle groups per workout, or alternate upper lower body; try to hit the muscles two times a week (2x biceps, 2x triceps, etc.). 3-5 exercises per workout is fine. 1-2min rest, take more if you feel like it, take less if you feel like it.

    • Listen to your body for reps/weight; Going for 5 reps or going for 15 reps, it doesn't matter that much at the start, as long as you can do 2-3 series of that. Try to aim for anything from 6 to 12 reps, if you feel you can do more, do it, if you feel like you cannot, then don't. Some times I do 6, sometimes I do 12, but I try to aim for 8. The routine is more important than the results, all you need to do is go to the gym, the perfect workout can come in later.

    • The movement is more important than the weight; building muscle is simply your muscles tearing and healing. As long as your muscles tear, you've done a good job. But that tear must come from a movement done well, or else you'll tear something that was not supposed to. Go for slower reps if needed, less explosion in your movements. Watch a video on how to do specific exercises if needed, some are mandatory to make sure you don't injure yourself (squats, deadlifts).

    • Don't overdo it, progressive overload is the key; getting injured is EASY, the goal is to go to the gym, not be hurt. Go lower on the weights at first, it's not a competition. I started my dumbell press with like 10 pounds, shaking like crazy, it's normal. We've all been there. Don't ego lift. The routine is more important than the results. The big weights will take a while to reach, but it'll happen progressively.

    • Have some kind of goal that is not tied to a number; I guess this one is more personal, but I feel like it's way easier to stick to the routine when you don't "care" about the results as much. The true goal is to be fit or to be lean or to be muscular or to be healthy, no? I feel like those are achievable long term and are guaranteed to come from the routine. I think if you're a beginner and set some kind of arbitrary number, you're not an expert to know if that goal is realistic or not and it makes the whole working out thing to be dependent on a result that you don't have the slightest idea how difficult it is or how long it takes to reach it. I think goals with a number should come after the routine is set in, not before going to the gym, but hey, that's just my two cents.

    • Eat enough, drink water, get more protein; protein shakes are easy and not that costly, just having a protein shake is fine. Not having it is fine too. If you want to build muscle, you should aim for 100-150g of protein per day. Make sure you eat enough and well, but in the end, the routine is more important. Remember, getting fit happens at the gym, getting lean happens in the kitchen. Weight loss and weight gains both happen in the kitchen. Realistically, a normal genetic male will gain AT BEST 10-12 pounds of muscle the first year of working out (assuming optimal results), so you can aim for that, but just know that your weight gains might not be muscle.

    • Use ChatGPT to help if needed; When I started going at the gym, I followed all these tips, but I didn't really know that to do. So I asked ChatGPT to make me a 4 days a week workout plan, 5 exercises: pull, push, legs, full body. I tried what it gave me for about a month, but I used that month to just replace exercises I didn't like and I slowly started making my own program to fit what I wanted. But I was super happy that I at least had a starting program. I realize that's what's stopping a lot of people and you can use AI to help you out with that, especially if you don't have money to buy a program or pay a trainer to make one for you.

    • Be disciplined, but be kind to yourself; There will be days when you will not be able to workout. There will be days when you will not want to workout. There will be days when you will feel bad about working out. It's ok to miss a day, it's ok to miss a week. Remember, the routine is more important. Just make sure to go back to your routine as soon as possible. Missing one workout after going 20 times in a row feels a lot less bad than missing 2-3 every week.

    Finally, if you have any questions about starting the gym, feel free to ask. I'll gladly help.

    44 votes
  4. Comment on What are the simple things in your life that you are thankful for? in ~life

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    Kinda yeah. For people, I always try to find a quality in them and those that I really don't like, I just go with "they don't deserve to be in my life" and try to avoid them. As for situations,...

    Kinda yeah.

    For people, I always try to find a quality in them and those that I really don't like, I just go with "they don't deserve to be in my life" and try to avoid them.

    As for situations, it's kinda hard to translate from french (I speak french), it would be "that goes with it" (ça vient avec). Traffic? That goes with working and getting money. Chores? That comes with wanting a clean place. Small talk? That comes with wanting to be liked but my coworkers. Losses? That comes with any competition.

    Also, it helps that I forced myself early on to see what I can control in life and what I cannot control. After many years, I have small tricks I can use to maximize the dopamine of any situation so I'm not bored out of my mind or frustrated because I'm stuck in a bad place. Control what you can, let go of the rest.

    3 votes
  5. Comment on What are the simple things in your life that you are thankful for? in ~life

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    My favourite one is "what difference does it make?" I'm picky and intense on a lot of things that I can control and it happened many times in my life where I was tempted to complain on something...

    My favourite one is "what difference does it make?"

    I'm picky and intense on a lot of things that I can control and it happened many times in my life where I was tempted to complain on something that irritated me. In the end, after some time reflecting on it, I found that just asking myself "heh, what difference does it make anyways?" really helped. It turns my brain into an analyst bot where I see how inconsequential something is and I'm able to either make the small change or just let go of the negative thoughts because it doesn't really matter anyways.

    Another one is "it's never too late". I often stressed in the past about not doing something and I realized quickly that life is not a race. I used to look at other people's lives and dislike mine because I didn't achieve what they did at their age. But this feeling is endless. So I told myself many times that "it's never too late" and it always grounds me.

    So the fail-safes are really just sentences that stop any further downward negative spiraling. I have a couple others for general situations and after working at it for decades now, I realize that I don't hold any negative thought for more than a day. Sometimes it takes me a second, sometimes it takes me a day, but never really more than that.

    My absolute fail-safe is "we're all gonna die anyways" and that has really helped for more intense stressful situations.

    3 votes
  6. Comment on What are the simple things in your life that you are thankful for? in ~life

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    It may sound corny, but my ability to accurately reflect on things. Regardless of the situation, I'm always able to get the positives out of it and not stay in a negative state of mind. I've built...

    It may sound corny, but my ability to accurately reflect on things.

    Regardless of the situation, I'm always able to get the positives out of it and not stay in a negative state of mind.

    I've built up a couple of "fail-safes" when things go wrong and it has always saved me.

    I've been told by many that I'm always a positive person and it's really because I am able to fully understand situations from both sides.

    I am super grateful that my brain can do that!

    17 votes
  7. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

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    It's a lot of fun! I'm as a newbie as you are. Just play it, really, the game doesn't throw you everything at once. You unlock features as you play and it shows you where to look for when you...

    It's a lot of fun!

    I'm as a newbie as you are. Just play it, really, the game doesn't throw you everything at once. You unlock features as you play and it shows you where to look for when you unlock them. It's very intuitive.

    2 votes
  8. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

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    Honestly, I've been playing a lot of Archero 2 on my phone lately. I have less and less time to devote to gaming these days, so playing on my phone is a good alternative. I love that game because,...

    Honestly, I've been playing a lot of Archero 2 on my phone lately.

    I have less and less time to devote to gaming these days, so playing on my phone is a good alternative. I love that game because, while there are microtransactions (a lot of it). There is actual skill to the game, you can easily level up and get stronger every time you play. It doesn't translate that much into the game play (the monsters get stronger as you do), but I'm at the point where I can tweak my build to maximize a certain playstyle and it's fun when you get the combat upgrades that fit that playstyle.

    It's a ton of fun! I must say I'm a little addicted... which I feel is great because I haven't found that in a game in at least 6 months.

    3 votes
  9. Comment on Posts vs. comments. Where do you fall and why? in ~tech

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    I feel like I do both. The thing with commenting is that sometimes it feels futile when there are already tens of comments, even moreso on Reddit where it can get into thousands and at one point...

    I feel like I do both.

    The thing with commenting is that sometimes it feels futile when there are already tens of comments, even moreso on Reddit where it can get into thousands and at one point you're just wondering "why am I doing this?" when commenting. On Tildes, it often feels great because the engagement is good accross the whole post. I've seen posts on Tildes where the top comment had no replies and some 2-3 comments down had tens. It's fun! I feel that my time is never wasted when I type a comment.

    As for posting, I like to do it when I have a good question to ask. I've done it a couple times, maybe 3-4 times a year and I'm always happy with the engagement. At the same time, the only internet I visit is Youtube and I never feel like sharing a Youtube video is a good thing. So if I don't have a good question to ask as a post, I just don't do it.

    11 votes
  10. Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books

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    It is a shame, but at the same time, I kinda hate the discourse around harassing and straight up hate these people receive for not putting out books. They're all humans, if they don't write as...

    It is a shame, but at the same time, I kinda hate the discourse around harassing and straight up hate these people receive for not putting out books. They're all humans, if they don't write as much and want to do something else, then good for them. I'll read something else instead.

    2 votes
  11. Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books

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    I finally got back into reading after decades. I used to read while riding the bus, and the habit spread to become my favourite hobby after gaming. After school became a lot harder during...

    I finally got back into reading after decades. I used to read while riding the bus, and the habit spread to become my favourite hobby after gaming. After school became a lot harder during university, I stopped reading for fun... being forced to read like 5 books in 2 months is just not fun at all. I started reading my first two semesters and then... I just never read again until this year.

    One of my friend had told me about this book that he read for a full year: The Name of The Wind. So when I wanted to read again, I picked up that book. Oh, it was so wonderful. I'm almost done with the second book, The Wise Man's Fear and I'm kinda sad about it. I hadn't loved being deep inside a story like that for fifteen years. I'm really glad to be reading again.

    I'm kinda looking for some fantasy suggestions, now!

    14 votes
  12. Comment on Grandmaster, popular commentator Daniel Naroditsky tragically passes away at 29 in ~games.tabletop

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    This is terrible, absolutely shocking news. Danya has been a staple of high-level chess commentary for a long time. He's loved by everyone in the community for his skills both as player and a...

    This is terrible, absolutely shocking news.

    Danya has been a staple of high-level chess commentary for a long time. He's loved by everyone in the community for his skills both as player and a commentator, but also because he's a genuinely good human. He will be so so missed.

    He had been away for a little bit too... I fear it's somehow related this his passing.

    9 votes
  13. Comment on Denmark plans social media ban for under-15s – PM Mette Frederiksen links social media use to anxiety, depression and lack of concentration in ~tech

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    For real, I wasn't sure how to respond to that, thank you for the elaborate response. Of course it's a slippery slope. We were able to live without cellphones prior to ~2010, of course we can...

    For real, I wasn't sure how to respond to that, thank you for the elaborate response.

    Of course it's a slippery slope. We were able to live without cellphones prior to ~2010, of course we can still live without them now. Especially if it's only during school hours. It's not like the kids cannot use them outside of the school perimeters or in the bus ride. The parents know where they are anyways.

    If the kid is dumb enough to use the cellphone at school then it's on him/her. Almost all parents agree with the cellphone being confiscated if they don't respect the rule. Most parents dislike how much their kid use their cellphone anyways.

    6 votes
  14. Comment on Denmark plans social media ban for under-15s – PM Mette Frederiksen links social media use to anxiety, depression and lack of concentration in ~tech

  15. Comment on Denmark plans social media ban for under-15s – PM Mette Frederiksen links social media use to anxiety, depression and lack of concentration in ~tech

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    See phone, confiscate phone. First offense is kind of a warning, depending on who intervenes, but it can be a full 24h before you see your phone again, 48h the second time and your parents have to...

    See phone, confiscate phone.

    First offense is kind of a warning, depending on who intervenes, but it can be a full 24h before you see your phone again, 48h the second time and your parents have to get it for you; up until a week.

    We confiscated some phones the first week and now the students just don't use them, it's working pretty well!

    11 votes
  16. Comment on Denmark plans social media ban for under-15s – PM Mette Frederiksen links social media use to anxiety, depression and lack of concentration in ~tech

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    It's always been banned in the class, but you know the drill. Kids all have them in their pockets anyways and over time, teachers have used it for teaching purposes or as a behavior tool, like...

    It's always been banned in the class, but you know the drill. Kids all have them in their pockets anyways and over time, teachers have used it for teaching purposes or as a behavior tool, like "you can use your cellphones the last 5 minutes if you guys behave well".

    Some schools had it banned everywhere inside the school (especially private schools), but not all of them. It's the first year it's banned everywhere in all schools.

    15 votes
  17. Comment on Denmark plans social media ban for under-15s – PM Mette Frederiksen links social media use to anxiety, depression and lack of concentration in ~tech

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    I work in a school that teaches 12-17 years old kids, I also have two nieces that are 13 and 15 years old. Our school banned cellphones completely this year for the first time and I can really see...

    I work in a school that teaches 12-17 years old kids, I also have two nieces that are 13 and 15 years old. Our school banned cellphones completely this year for the first time and I can really see the difference.

    It's tough to fully grasp how much cellphones impact the kids because we (people my age) haven't really lived through it. I was lucky enough that Facebook only took off at the end of my high school years. Before that, anything related to public opinion and stigma was only done through discussions at school, what you heard, what you saw.

    Can you imagine having the whole world influence how you live your life? Can you imagine how quick a single snapchat sent to ~100 people can be influential? Can you imagine how easier shittalking and gossiping is now? It used to take months or years to make or break a reputation, now it can take a single afternoon or overnight. It's so easy to become paranoid when you cannot control how people talk about you. So much of growing up is trying to fit in and be accepted, "being yourself" comes after.

    I've seen the kids come up to me after talk and literally cry deeply because some asshole posted a mean snapchat in the class group chat (yes, that's a thing now) and now everyone laughs at that girl. All of that bullshit because one single idiot kid wanted to make a joke. The circle of influence is so much bigger than it used to be. It's no wonder that you don't see a lot of "different" kids compared to when we were young. If you're different, you're laughed at. All the girls are pretty, all the boys are pretty. They are all decked out, have good haircuts, nice shoes, etc.

    I applaud Denmark to think about banning that. It's a tough call and there will be a ton of backlash, but social media is absolutely terrible for their development. The cons far outweigh the pros.

    40 votes
  18. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

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    +1 for Megabonk I got it in my recommended pop-up one time when I opened Steam and I got hooked immediately. The price is very good and it got me ton of quick fun. It's quite hard also! But it's...

    +1 for Megabonk

    I got it in my recommended pop-up one time when I opened Steam and I got hooked immediately. The price is very good and it got me ton of quick fun. It's quite hard also! But it's rewarding when you hit a good combo of tomes/weapons. The fact that you are effectively way worse by not picking weapons early already makes it better than Vampire Survivors imo. With VS, I felt like the game was really easy and it was just a matter of waiting 20 minutes destroying endless waves. The balance is a little better in Megabonk, although it's easier to sink time in VS, tho.

    I realized this year that I just cannot immerse myself in a game any more like I used to. And it's not for lack of trying, but I feel like after an hour or so, especially failing multiples times, the restart after a failed run is harder and harder. I used to be able to just go run after run after run, but with the responsibilities and maintenance that adult life brings, I really only go max 2 hours, and often it's just 30-45 minutes here and there. Megabonk is perfect for that.

  19. Comment on What's a product or service that you use but don't want to pay for and why? in ~life

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    I used dating apps for the first time in my life this year, in my 30's, and I agree with everything you said. I told myself that trying to hijack and speed up the process was just not worth it....

    I used dating apps for the first time in my life this year, in my 30's, and I agree with everything you said.

    I told myself that trying to hijack and speed up the process was just not worth it. Who cares if I match twice as more? 1-2 matches every week was plenty enough for me.

    It took two bad dates and around 12 bad matches to finally find my (now) girlfriend. I'm happy I took my time and didn't set unrealistic expectations for me.

    It also helped that dating apps are like 15$ a week. Fuck that.

    12 votes
  20. Comment on What are some of your routines or habits? in ~life

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    Thanks for the recommendations, I'll definitetly try these. I have not been able to get a full night sleep in about 20 years. Trazodone helps for now so we'll see. Gummies and pot never helped.

    Thanks for the recommendations, I'll definitetly try these. I have not been able to get a full night sleep in about 20 years. Trazodone helps for now so we'll see.

    Gummies and pot never helped.