How have you changed in the last year? What are your goals for this year?
I didn't see a thread about this at the start of the year and I was wondering about how you guys see your past year and this one coming.
I guess I'll start. This year, a lot has changed for me, I am so much different than how I was last year, and so is my life.
-
I started ADHD meds in january of last year. Completely changed my life, I am now able to tackle the challenges of daily life as a grown adult.
-
I started cooking A LOT more. I went from eating out almost every day, to cooking almost every day (or at least eat my planned meals).
-
I went on the dating apps this summer and found a girlfriend :) after a 5 months relationship, it feels like I found the love of my life
-
I started weight training this fall. Have been going at it 3-4 times a week for 4 months now, it's going great!
-
I finally rekindled with my family (my brother and my sister), I now see them at least once every 2 weeks!
For 2026, I want to reduce my restaurants spending to only once a week, twice a month, or when necessary. I want to meal plan/cook many meals for the week, once a week.
I want to start some kind of cardio training (when my knees will be better...).
I also want to better plan my classes (I'm a teacher). I feel like I improvise too much and want to have a better plan moving forward.
How do you feel about your past year and this one?
What a wonderful thread idea; thank you!
In 2025:
Those are some amazing changes, I'm really happy for you! I hope your audio projects are all successful.
If I may, can you elaborate on how you treated your precious ones? How did you implement a positive change? How did that change was received?
Thank you very much!
I think a lot of the poor way I treated them was down to a shift in attitude: because I’ve always had the poor habit of making excuses for others and assuming positive intent to a fault way beyond the benefit of the doubt when others treat me poorly, I caught myself transferring that to other people in my head. So in this period when all relationships were overwhelming me and I just felt like running from those I cared about, I justified letting obligations slip and letting friendships fizzle because I thought “oh, they’ll coldly understand that I still love them and mean only the best while I pretend they don’t exist.” It took a couple of my closest relationships separately sitting me down and telling me how hurtful my doing this had been and how unloved I’d made them feel for me to snap out of this terribly unempathetic line of thinking that assumed that only I had feelings, and that the warmth I feel from my friends’ love is still symmetrical no matter how I view it in my head during a slump!
Since then, while remnants of the burnout still linger, I’ve just been really throwing myself into actively reïnforcing that symmetry, not just despite but especially when I’m in a period like this. It’s a pretty universal (almost juvenile) revelation, but I suppose that with things like this we learn them once intellectually and a second time truly, when we lapse and have a rude awakening, so I suppose this was my second learning. The past year seems to suggest that this approach has been somewhat successful but it’s an ever ongoing effort!
Thank you for your response. I asked because I'm kind of at the same place nowadays. I feel like I let some friendships just fade away and I'm part of the problem. There is also a friend I've lost this year because he just... stopped talking to me or inviting me to things. I want to sit him down and talk with him, but I've already done so twice the year prior, so I kind of gave up... I feel I failed on both sides. I guess I want to fix that for this year.
What kind of equipment do you use to discreetly make high-quality audience audio recordings?
I’ve upgraded over the years as I’ve learned things and got better at this hobby, but my newest setup and method really made me so much more happy with and proud of my recordings! These days I use two DPA 4061 lavalier mics, plugged in through Microdot to XLR adapters into my Tascam DR-40X recorder. The DPAs are expensive but beautiful in how they sound, so so worthwhile. The DR-40X is massive and has huge (albeit surprisingly good for what they are) internal mics attached, which make them a hassle to get into venues with overzealous security checks and overly unwieldy to use in the moment, so I plan on replacing that with a smaller recording unit without internal microphones.
I record binaurally these days, too: I repurposed some silicone ear clips and use them to hang my mics through my clothes and over the back of my ear and hanging in the centre of my ear pinnae, so they can catch the reflections of what I’m recording from the shape of my ear. While I used to stand further back when I used cardioid mics for a good stereo image (a 90° PAS—the angle between the left speaker stack, me, and the right speaker stack), I combine this binaural method and these omnidirectional mics with a nearly 180° PAS, i.e. at the front, a couple of metres from the performer(s). This brings a pretty different, very wide stereo image with lots of separation between the instruments in the recording; perhaps not to everybody’s taste but I’m proud of it!
I started last year in the midst of my second egg retrieval and spent the majority of 2025 somewhere on the IVF rollercoaster. I am very happy to say that I am starting this year pregnant after a successful transfer in late October. Pretty huge change!
Congratulations!
Kids will absolutely change your life and your perspective (but not immediately).
Something I also like to say to soon to be parents: It is 100% ok if you don't love them or feel any different at first, that is absolutely normal. It took both myself and my wife months to love our kids respectively. You're not broken or weird or whatever; you've gone through a major life change and now you have a sack of potatoes that eats, poops and cries that you have to carry everywhere with you.
Also, struggling with breastfeeding is very normal.
Anyway, I hope for an easy pregnancy and an uneventful birth for you!
Thank you! So far I have not been prepared for how much pregnancy has kicked my ass. The heartburn and nausea has been rough! It has also been mentally weird slowly letting myself get excited, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop due to what it took to get here.
Wow, what amazing news; not sure if there’s any better form of change than this! All congratulations!!
Thank you!!!
Ooof. Tough question to face.
Unfortunately I have, and I don't think I've changed in a good way to be honest. I've been through a lot and frankly I'm tired and I feel like I've prioritized immediate dopamine hits over long term stability. I think it's been a compounding problem since the pandemic shutdown in 2020 and my subsequent Furlough and Layoff from my dream job at The Walt Disney Company, then falling out with my best friend, and a string of awful jobs and awful companies, and of course the increasingly volatile political atmosphere here in the US.
So I try not to be too hard on myself, but I am FAR from how effective and on top of things I was up to 2020.
However, with that being said, as far as my goal for the year, I think my #1 top goal is to improve my "discipline", but in a particular way.
I recently saw a couple clips from Chase Hughes on the podcast "Diaries of a CEO", and something that he said about "Discipline" struck me and really resonated with me because I had basically come up with this on my own years ago, but I feel like this is something I've lost after 2020.
Here's a link to the particular part where he talks about discipline, but the whole episode was great too.
You see, I figured out this exact philosophy back in the day, but I didn't consider it discipline, I considered it a brain hack. To basically see yourself as 3 different people, your past self, present self, and future self. A lot of people who I saw as "stuck" were only serving their present self and were basically leaving their future self to clean up the mess their present self left, and silently curse their past self. Aaaand that's pretty much where I'm at now, and didn't even realize it until I saw Chase talking about it.
The thing I figured out is that if you could do the opposite of that, to have your present self serve and help your future self, so your future self can thank your past self for taking care of it, that you'd be much happier.
And I think that worked so well. I attribute that attitude to a lot of my success up to this point.
However as I said, I lost that and got off the path at some point. I've been almost entirely serving my present self for the past few years, looking for instant dopamine hits and leaving things I should do to the last minute or neglecting things until it becomes stressful. I need to stop doing that.
I have a lot of respect for Chase Hughes, so when he basically outlined EXACTLY what I had figured out on my own so many years ago, I took that as a sign that maybe I should get back on that horse.
I have a massive interest in body language and have been following Chase Hughes for years as he's a part of a YouTube channel called The Behavior Panel where they break down behavior and body language of public figures and criminals to give opinions on if they're lying. As someone who's autistic and ADHD, I've found some of their insights invaluable for navigating life.
Edit: Re-read the comment and just want to mention I'm not trying to shill for anyone. I don't regularly listen to the Diary of a CEO podcast, but watched that one because Chase Hughes was on it. And the Behavior Panel's a great fun YouTube channel if you're into that sort of thing, and I guess I just wanted to illustrate that I'd been following Chase previously to seeing him on the podcast, so I don't think he's some self help hack or anything. lol
Didn't watch the video, but the discipline thing about your past, present and future self reminds me of this comment from Reddit a long time ago. It's crazy that you mention that, because I remember vividly taking the time to literally write it on paper because I felt I was undisciplined. It didn't change much after I wrote it down, but the philosophy stayed with me forever.
I hope those "brain hacks" make a lasting impact on you, you can do this!
I saw that post when it was made. The "no more zero days" concept was amazingly powerful for me in hindsight. At the time it felt like the most babiest step I could possibly take, but after compounding it was a life changer.
Wild, I recall my wife mentioning the thread as well. It's reassuring that in an era of fragmented culture, that a simple post can ring true for so many people.
I do this too, I’m always doing favors for future me. Its a form of self love, and when you love and care for yourself you’re more kind and forgiving to yourself and then you find that you can accomplish more because you believe in yourself.
This is one of my projects for the year too! I'm so guilty of leaving problems for my future self rather than dealing with them now.
To me it ties in with concepts like self-love and -respect, it's one thing to have care for your family and friends, but it's so much harder when it's directed at yourself.
Best of luck!
Having been a stay at home Dad for going on eight years now, I've suddenly found myself with a lack of responsibilities with my youngest having started school full time in the Fall. Suddenly, a lot of the stuff I was doing to take care of the kids has kind of fallen off and I've refocused a lot on myself, which I don't necessarily think has been a great thing. I'm still doing stuff like cleaning the kitchen, cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, etc, but I've been delving deeper into my own hobbies and doing what often feels to me like fucking around. At this point, I'm kind of lackdasically looking to pick my career back-up, but I'm not sure what that looks like so I've been moving slow. I'm hoping to have a resume out this week.
My anxiety is back under control and I'm back on medication. Over the past two years or so, I hadn't realized that my anxiety had crept back in and I wasn't addressing it. It came to a head in October 2025 and I realized I was being controlled by it and needed to get back on medication. Not really something I wanted to do, but I feel a little more like myself again. I still don't think I'm in a great place mentally and I think part of that is my floundering with what I'm doing right now and trying to figure out my life again in the last 4-5 months.
My goals for 2026 are simply to get back into my career and earn some decent money. It doesn't have to be a lot, because my wife can easily cover most our bills, but I'd like to go back to doing what I was before I quit working in 2018. I'm not sure if that's possible or not.
I would also like to finish off my long term car project. It's very much near completion, but I haven't had the motivation to go outside in my garage and do it, especially given the colder months, but I would like to have to finished by summer. I imagine I probably only have another 20-30 hours worth of work to go on it.
That's some big changes! I'm sure you'll be able to find work and enjoy it again, especially if you're motivated to do so.
What's your car project?
I hope so. I have a strong fear of change, so it's pretty scary to be looking for work again after so long, not to mention during these times of massive layoffs. I'm just hoping I can find something that's rewarding, but also fairly flexible, because I'd like to still be around for my family as much as possible.
I've been working on a 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee 5.2l V8 since 2017. I pulled the engine out December 2019 and took it to my buddy's house who had all the rebuild tools and knowledge to help me, so things got delayed sometime in early 2020, who can say why...
Anyway, I finally finished the engine and dropped it back in in May 2025, reassembled the intake and installed it in September, now need to finish getting the front of the engine together, wiring harness back in and get the transmission, transfer case and driveshafts back in and it'll be ready to go.
Long term projects are the hardest, especially when kids' demands are in direct competition with your creative momentum.
I'm looking forward to and lamenting the day my two year old begins school, but already empathize with your situation. All of the sudden, your reason for waking up doesn't need you every waking hour and while refreshing, it takes some time to find your mojo again.
While I'm not at your stage yet, I am reminded of how hard it could be to self-motivate when you've nothing but time and not a single demand on it.
You weren't soliciting for tips, but if I may, I might suggest just leaving the house to focus your thoughts. Whether it be to decide the day's tasks or how you're going to jump back into the work world, coffee shops and laptops are jebuzz' gift to those who just need to fuckn give'r again ;)
I lost 12 kilograms after embarking on a diet that I still maintain to this day. I started practicing lucid dreaming to combat ptsd fueled nightmares and boy has it helped. I assisted my mom in her weight loss journey as well. Good year.
12kg is huge! How did you do it? What's your routine?
Ketoesque dieting at first, but considering I had all that fat anyway, I only really ate low carb vegetables and poultry meat. When my weight went down, I started on a high fiber, high protein, medium carb (legumes mostly) diet. I completely stopped consuming any refined sugars, cakes, pastries, gluten based food, pasta, rice, sodas. I eat once a day and drink water only.
The thing that keeps me going is a 2009 lecture from Robert Lustig - Sugar The Bitter Truth. After having watched that and quitting sugar altogether I can say that my memory is better than ever, my blood pressure is down, I am not exhausted all the time, my skin looks fantastic (combined with my years old routine of cold showers), the inflammation in my body is way down, I'm calmer and more clear headed than I ever was.
Last year was a messy one at work, especially the first half. The team I was part of got dissolved and I ended up reporting to a different leader and joining his team. Lots of adjustment, but long story short by the end of the year I felt like balance was restored. I am starting this year less driven and motivated at work. While balance was restored, to work itself is getting stale. There are some changes on the horizon for 2026, so I am trying to find some optimism in that. I keep repeating to myself "this is a good job and it pays well", but I am not sure how much longer I'll be willing to feel like this is a worthy investment of 8 hours a day 5 days a week. So I'm starting off 2026 a bit demoralized at work in spite of it being a good job on paper. First world problems?
Outside work, 2025 was interesting. I was hitting the gym pretty hard early on, but stopped going in April. I did continue exercising, but at home, arguably less intense than at the gym. I was also being worried about another interest, video games. I went from not really playing anything early 2025, to ending the year in a torrent of gaming over the holidays. I do think I got it out of my system now. I beat the game I was really into and grew a bit tired of 2 others that I was playing. I am starting 2026 with excitement to exchange most of those gaming hours for reading hours. Got a few books on my list. I am a notoriously slow reader, so I want to see if I can change that this year. More of a nudge in this direction rather than a new year resolution.
In terms om mental health and wellbeing, I think 2025 continued what 2024 started. This is always ongoing work, but I could summarize it by saying that I've kind of gone back to some trusty old principles that I know worked for me in my 20s (now in my 40s). Added to that one useful thing I discovered about myself in early 2025. I find myself starting 2026 with a bit more confidence and less anxiety/stress about my inner self. Too bad things around the world are going totally crazy! You just can't win. Alas, I try to focus on the things that I can control, and on that front I think I turned a good page in 2025 and hopeful/excited to see where 2026 takes me.
2025 was a crappy year for me, but there were things I learned.
First, sex is kinda overrated. My first time was eleven months ago and it didn't go that great. I'll just leave it at that.
Second, my new years resolution going into 2026 has been to stick up for myself more and stop avoiding conflict. I've had a few times where I really should have spoken up, whether it's putting someone (freelance civil engineer earning great money) who has belittled my complaints about my current job in their place, dealing with an asshole recruiter who thinks they own me, calling out a woman for pretty much leading me on big time, calling out my dad for his mollycoddling and toxic behaviour. Things like that, really.
But it's going to take a lot to unlearn my past behaviours...
My biggest 2025 accomplishment was gaining dual citizenship in an EU country. There's no language requirement for direct descendant, so I'm now able to apply for it for all three of my kids. My wife could, too, but she has to pass a language test first -- So she's working on learning it.
Despite my best attempts to pursue medical school, the MCAT screened me out, so I've fallen back into a nursing program. It's not quite as fulfilling as what I wanted to do, but it's been very easy for me so far, so that's nice. I'll graduate in 2027 with a master's degree, my third degree.
I found out my insurance (United) offers a program where I can get a discounted rate on multiple gyms. So now, for $36/mo, I get access to: LA Fitness, Crunch, Anytime Fitness, Workout Anytime, and some other area gyms that are far enough away I didn't bother signing up for them. But it's a nice perk! Once upon a time I was pretty strong. Looking forward to building back to that again.
Outside of that, my goals are pretty simple: Be the best dad I can be, and end the year in a better place than I start it.
2025 was a bit of a roller coaster of a year for me and I'll be honest, I don't think I've changed for the better. This feels embarrassing to admit but years of self-neglect from not taking care of my personal hygiene, not exercising, and not eating properly have caught up a bit to me in expensive ways. I'm lucky that I have insurance that mostly covers the cost of things but it's not something I can sustain for the remainder of my life. 2025 was not all doom and gloom however. My two big goals for the year were to get promoted and move into my own place. I somehow managed to achieve both and enjoy my new job and place.
My main goal for 2026 is to take better care of myself.
I've already started with personal hygiene and being better about my diet. As silly as it sounds, I've started brushing my teeth daily and use a timer to make sure I'm not just winging it. I'm being more careful to actually wash my hair and use proper body wash. Again, super embarrassing to admit but no one knows who I really am here (hopefully) so I don't mind admitting it.
I've also started improving my diet. My diet was decent for most of 2025 but once I began my new job in October, things fell apart. This new job requires I go to the office 3 days a week and that brings with it a fairly lengthy commute twice a week (as there's two offices I can go to). Thankfully the office provides meals but I don't want to eat those all the time. So last year, on the days I returned home before dinner was served, I'd just order out. That eventually got tiring so I've gone back to cooking this year. I've already cooked the simple Chicken Chile Verde I normally cook, just with some zucchini for added nutrition. I'm also trying to cut down on snacking as my snacking got way out of hand towards the end of last year, with lots of sugar and processed things. I'm hoping to replace it with more fruits this year.