CrypticCuriosity629's recent activity
-
Comment on Any male victims from female abuse? in ~life.men
-
Comment on OpenAI CEO Sam Altman’s home targeted with molotov cocktail in ~tech
CrypticCuriosity629 (edited )Link ParentI’m not sure which term you're calling "too broad", "violence" generally, or "structural violence" specifically. Because structural violence has a defined meaning. It’s not just "anything bad", it...Then the term is so broad as to be completely meaningless and discussing it is useless, no? In any event I again reject the concept that violence can occur without force.
I’m not sure which term you're calling "too broad", "violence" generally, or "structural violence" specifically.
Because structural violence has a defined meaning. It’s not just "anything bad", it refers to systems that produce harm by limiting access to basic needs.
If you’re rejecting the idea that violence can exist without direct force, then you’re rejecting that broader definition entirely. That’s fine, but then the disagreement is about the definition of the word "violence" and not whether the concept is meaningless.
Also, out of curiosity, would you also consider emotional abuse not to be a form of violence just because force isn't used? Would you disagree that the term "domestic violence" encompasses the concept of emotional abuse?
Respectfully, this is pretty silly. You invoked the term. If I brought up psychoanalysis and you said "that's an absurd idea," it'd be rather ridiculous of me to go "hey, it's a concept that exists, my hands are tied, take it up with Freud, too bad he's dead" as if it was some sort of counterargument.
I'm just saying you’re getting hung up on the word "violence" and it's technical definition, and I don't have any intentions to debate the definition of a word when I'm talking about the concept the term represents.
Because if the word "violence" is the sticking point here, we can set it aside and call it whatever you want and move on. We can invent a completely new term and call it "Structural Komblartamy" from here on out if that helps us move forward.
But we’d still be talking about the same thing: a system where losing a job can mean losing healthcare, where access to survival resources is tied to money, which is tied to employment, and where that creates predictable harm for people who can't realistically opt out of that system when jobs are removed.
-
Comment on OpenAI CEO Sam Altman’s home targeted with molotov cocktail in ~tech
CrypticCuriosity629 Link ParentYou know, that's actually really interesting. I'm going to read those and do some more research into that. Thank you. I want to see if they end up putting their money where their mouth is.You know, that's actually really interesting. I'm going to read those and do some more research into that. Thank you.
I want to see if they end up putting their money where their mouth is.
-
Comment on OpenAI CEO Sam Altman’s home targeted with molotov cocktail in ~tech
CrypticCuriosity629 (edited )Link ParentThere's a lot more nuance that needs to go into discussions of systemic violence. I'll try to go point by point. So the nuance here is that there’s active lobbying happening from AI companies...There's a lot more nuance that needs to go into discussions of systemic violence.
I'll try to go point by point.
But accusing a CEO of systemic violence because his company produces a product that might lead to job loss is provocative and dangerous.
So the nuance here is that there’s active lobbying happening from AI companies right now. Companies like Google and Meta are influencing policy, but not necessarily toward programs that meaningfully offset displacement. That context matters because policy outcomes don’t exist in a vacuum, they’re shaped by those pressures.
They're creating technologies that cause problems without advocating for any solutions.
Not even just on an ethical ground, but even an economic one too. Because if that many people get displaced then how will those people add to the economy and afford to buy the products of the companies that used AI to save money? That's another possible hard limit to this entire "infinite growth/profit" that can be reached if people aren't thinking about it.
That doesn't mean we shouldn't also criticize the government and policy makers, but all these systems are interconnected due to the way our society is currently structured.
Granted, /u/skybrian in their responses have pointed me towards articles that might disprove or alter that opinion, and I have yet to do enough research into it to officially change my opinion. It very well could change given this new information, but I'm going to respond from where I'm at now. I don't yet know if this "call" is just an interview soundbyte or if it's an actual program they're actively lobbying and advocating for.
Is John Deere committing systemic violence by reducing the job market for manual farm workers? Did Apple commit systemic violence when the first Macintosh decimated the job market for manual ledger-keepers? Is a layoff because a company is going under systemic violence? Is it when I get fired for poor performance? What if I'm getting fired from the only job I can reasonably get and now my family will starve?
Haha Actually yes to absolutely every single example you gave, everything you just listed is the exact example of systemic violence, it's just accepted as a normal part of a capitalist system.
Anything systemic that threatens the survival of an individual is systemic violence.
When you come at this issue from the angle that every person deserves a baseline level of means to survive, so that the idea of being jobless isn't a death sentence to many people(via losing health insurance, not being able to afford medication, food insecurity, mental health issues, etc), then anything in a system that threatens an individual's survival is violence against them.
The definition of violence must involve force or the threat thereof. It cannot just be threatening jobs by creating technological advances. Not just to remain logically coherent, but to prevent the definition from being turned against anything and everything that we happen to disagree with.
I mean at that point it's just semantics. Systemic violence is just the accepted term for what we're talking about, which as a concept does exist. I don't define these things, I just use the commonly accepted term for the concept I'm describing.
With that being said, as a concept Systemic/Structural violence does exist, so I'm not really the one who holds the keys to the definition, so my hands are tied. Unfortunately it seems that you're two years too late to take up that semantic debate with Johan Galtung who coined the phrase.
-
Comment on OpenAI CEO Sam Altman’s home targeted with molotov cocktail in ~tech
CrypticCuriosity629 (edited )Link ParentI already responded to you up higher, and maybe I should wait for a response before responding to something else you said, but I did want to address this. So this is a very VERY capitalistic view...What would the new jobs be? Who would be qualified to do them?
I already responded to you up higher, and maybe I should wait for a response before responding to something else you said, but I did want to address this.
So this is a very VERY capitalistic view on the situation. Because who says there needs to be new jobs?
Maybe I'm crazy, but I've always believed that capitalism is unsustainable, but that it was neccesary as a means to an end. Because true capitalism requires infinite growth and market value as drivers of progress. But there's always going to be a ceiling for that system, and growth is not infinite. Like the concept of inflation is managable when you're looking at it in the span of a dozen years, but zoom out decades based on ideal growth and inflation and what are we looking at? Zoom out to 2080, are we looking at $500 gas and minimum wage being set to $350/hr at that point?
Capitalism was a great motivator and pusher of progress to get us to the point of technological and societal progress that every human on the planet can be afforded a decent living without overt struggle.
We're at that point. And AI can absolutely help with that, but AI and Capitalism is a mixture that won't end well for the average person.
Way back before it was called AI, when I just called it automation, and I saw the writing on the wall the moment they added self-checkouts to grocery stores. I was advocating for the idea of taxing corporations that use automation in a way that displaces human workers, and to use that tax revenue to fund a type of universal basic income for those who get displaced as well as for training programs and education for different trades that are needed. A UBI that let a displaced person live off of without going hungry or losing their homes, but also motivate them to find work or training in other needed sectors in order to make more money than UBI gave them.
The idea of the tax is that it also leveled the playing field a bit in a way that would offset the financial benefits of replacing humans and instead turn it into efficiency benefits instead. Advocating for a surgical use of automation instead of mass layoffs on a whim.
And eventually maybe people being displaced could have focused on pursuing education or personal enlightenment. But unfortunately under capitalism the only ones who get to do that are the CEOs, Shareholders, political elite, and billionaires.
Unfortunately none of that happened and here we are.
-
Comment on OpenAI CEO Sam Altman’s home targeted with molotov cocktail in ~tech
CrypticCuriosity629 (edited )Link ParentPart of what makes systemic violence systemic is that it's not always that direct. In this case it's not just the fact that the useful product takes away jobs, it's also the fact that there is no...Any product that does something useful will take away people’s job. That’s almost definitional.
Part of what makes systemic violence systemic is that it's not always that direct.
In this case it's not just the fact that the useful product takes away jobs, it's also the fact that there is no systemic change to offset how that negatively impacts people.
In Sam Altman's case, if he also advocated for UBI programs or assistance for people who get displaced by his product, he'd be far less problematic.
Or if the society we lived in had better programs for addressing that kind of displacement, the product would be seen less systemically violent.
But apparently that's "socialism" and we can't have any of that, can we? We prefer debt, hunger, and homelessness in this country!
And fyi this is coming from someone who advocates for AI as a technology but criticizes the societal structures that make AI dangerous. Every problem people have with AI as a technology can be traced back to systemic failures in our society. The problem isn't the technology, it's the system.
-
Comment on OpenAI CEO Sam Altman’s home targeted with molotov cocktail in ~tech
CrypticCuriosity629 Link ParentYeah I think we need to redefine what "violence" is in these dynamics and define a new term to replace it: "systemic self defense." Because "violence" is not always of the simplistic definition...Yeah I think we need to redefine what "violence" is in these dynamics and define a new term to replace it: "systemic self defense."
Because "violence" is not always of the simplistic definition "human hit other human," it's systemic violence like threatening jobs and livelihoods of people who will now have to struggle to survive because of those decisions. It's creating a healthcare industry that thrives when it denies lifesaving care of it's members.
I think reactions to that kind of systemic violence after being ignored in the proper systemic avenues for change shouldn't be considered violence, it's systemic self defense.
Just like with more physical violence, we shouldn't blame the victim for defending themselves, and people shouldn't be accused of "condoning violence" for supporting someone who defended themselves either. And once again, that same concept should be applied to systemic violence as well.
-
Comment on What programming/technical projects have you been working on? in ~comp
CrypticCuriosity629 Link ParentI'm no expert, so if someone want's to explain it better than I am, feel free. haha And it's all for personal educational and security auditing purposes only of course. haha I'm also jumping into...I'm no expert, so if someone want's to explain it better than I am, feel free. haha And it's all for personal educational and security auditing purposes only of course. haha
I'm also jumping into it, so there's a lot more addons and plugins you can add for it to do other stuff.
But it basically passively performs a deauthentication attack in order to sniff out handshakes of devices on a wifi network, then collects those handshakes for later cracking, and if cracked then you have the password to that wifi network.
For me I was just curious about it, and also want to test my home and work network for any vulnerabilities. If I can crack my home or work. And before anyone says anything I ran it by my work's dedicated IT guy and he's as curious as I am about what it'll sniff out.
I've had it sitting on my desk for about 3 hours and I already have 8 handshakes from 2 different networks, but didn't bring a data cable so I can't yet actually connect to it to pull the handshakes out.
I don't know what I'll do if I actually crack someone's actually wifi password, I might try to reach out and let them know to update their security? I think most people just think it's neat and collect them like pokemon.
-
Comment on What programming/technical projects have you been working on? in ~comp
CrypticCuriosity629 (edited )LinkWell a week or two ago I posted about game development and if anyone had any tips or resources, the responses I got were incredibly useful! Definitely a lot to consider, so thank you to everyone...Well a week or two ago I posted about game development and if anyone had any tips or resources, the responses I got were incredibly useful! Definitely a lot to consider, so thank you to everyone who replied.
However I've decided to do things the hard way and ignore some of the higher level advice and dive straight into making the game I want which will have RPG aspects. Hahaha I'm pretty confident in my direction and tend to pick things up really quickly.
But I'm also happy to report that I have already programmed a working Match-3 prototype game from the ground up with all the right connections set up for integrating an RPG system into it.
I used the match-3 portion of the game as a learning tool to learn how Godot works, and now that I feel like I have a good foundation, I paused active development to do some over-all roadmapping and planning out the systems.
Currently on my first draft of my GDD, it's a bit wordy so I'll be condensing it and focusing it more to the prototype rather than the overall game. I'm also using my graphic design experience to make it visually interesting.
Also completely unexpected, but I also met someone who does chiptune music for indie games, and he cobbled up a 30 second sample for me based off the vibe I'm going for in the game.
Here's an artwork mockup I made with the music overlaid on top.. Kind of a rough draft on the vibe I'm going for.
Once I get the GDD done, I'll keep working on the prototype and try to nail down a visual style document.
One of the reasons I want a really good looking GDD is I really want to get the license for the Dungeon Crawler Carl IP, and so I want to make it look like I know wtf I'm doing. haha
But that also means I'm looking for collaborators and fellow fans of Dungeon Crawler Carl to work with if anyone is interested. A programmer or someone familiar with RPG attributes, leveling, and stat systems would be incredibly useful right about now and save me a lot of time from learning as I go. I wouldn't mind having an asset artist either.
I am planning on trying to get the license to use the Dungeon Crawler Carl IP, and I am currently planning for this to be a paid game, so revenue sharing is on the table. However, if I can't secure the rights to DCC, it's still a great game on it's own that brings something new that I haven't quite seen done like this. To be clear, the game concept itself isn't required to be tied to the DCC property, it just fits the theme and DCC would be a great IP match for this game.
And if anyone is interested in taking a look at my GDD so far or trying out the prototype once that's done, let me know.
Outside of that, I just spun up a pwnagotchi on a spare Raspberry Pi Zero 2W, so I'm playing around with that.
-
Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
CrypticCuriosity629 Link ParentI think I've heard of that game! I've at least seen it around. The only thing is I have a CRT TV with a VHS collection, a Raspberry Pi emulator and some USB retro controllers, so I've never really...I think I've heard of that game! I've at least seen it around.
The only thing is I have a CRT TV with a VHS collection, a Raspberry Pi emulator and some USB retro controllers, so I've never really needed to have that in VR. haha
-
Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (April 2026) in ~health.mental
CrypticCuriosity629 LinkSo my psychiatrist took me off of Lexapro last week and put me on Pristiq and the change has been night and day for both my depression and ADHD. I worry about saying this, but I feel like my old...So my psychiatrist took me off of Lexapro last week and put me on Pristiq and the change has been night and day for both my depression and ADHD. I worry about saying this, but I feel like my old self again.
Executive function has come easier, I've been able to stay on top of chores and cleaning, I'm not as foggy or depressed. I don't feel as burnt out either.
Even my coworkers have noticed a difference today.
Apparently Pristiq blocks norepinephrine’s reuptake in the frontal cortex which leads to an increase in dopamine neurotransmission in that same part of the brain. So it's been beneficial for a lot of people with ADHD as well, and I can definitely feel that.
Anyways I hope it keeps up this way. I haven't felt this effortlessly productive in what feels like years.
-
Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
CrypticCuriosity629 Link ParentHa! To each their own, my own review of Retro Rewind is kind of the complete opposite of yours.Ha! To each their own, my own review of Retro Rewind is kind of the complete opposite of yours.
-
Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
CrypticCuriosity629 (edited )LinkSo I've been playing a game called Retro Rewind: VHS store simulator. It's ok, I think it could be a lot better. Buuut at least I consider it a nice cozy game. It lets you add video files to play...So I've been playing a game called Retro Rewind: VHS store simulator.
It's ok, I think it could be a lot better. Buuut at least I consider it a nice cozy game.
It lets you add video files to play on the TV in the store, so I've converted a few 80s and 90s movies into the right format and added them so I can watch, or listen, to the movies in game.
I do think it could be a lot better. It definitely feels early access even though it's not considered early access anymore, and misses the mark if it was ever trying to go for a retro 90's nostalgia feel. It definitely doesn't feel nostalgic at all. Lighting is too "cool", it's in a weird modern mall, architecture of the doors and rooms look modern, none of the NPCs have anything that makes them look like they're from the 90s, the auto-generated movies don't feel 90s.
Like if it were me, something I'd add is more emphasis on memberships. Like I want to have to make membership cards for new customers for a one time fee, and then have to check them every time a person rents something. Then the progression of that feature is to go from paper cards that you have to manually review/scan to plastic scannable cards that you can just scan, and eventually you can get a scanner where the customer just auto-scans it.
And on that note, more databases. Doesn't have to be super deep, but like I want to track my regulars, look at movie trends of what's being rented or genres trending, see which movies are late, and use that data to see if I have to buy a replacement for that movie and write it off. Or have someone call or ask about a movie that is currently rented out, so I have to check the system to see when it'll be returned.
Right now, it just feels like a barcode scanner simulator where all the interesting things happen automatically as you just scan tapes and pull money out of the register. Which frankly is a system that feels way too general, like you could just replace VHS tapes with CDs and have a record simulator, or switch out the VHS tapes with random snacks and you have a convenience store simulator, or switch out the VHS tapes with make up and you have a makeup store simulator. Or switch out the VHS tapes with movie tickets and theaters, and you'd have a theater simulator. Like nothing about this game currently feels tailor made to the VHS store experience, it feels like a store sim skinned to be about a VHS store, which was disappointing as I started playing.
The auto-generated movie posters and names need more work. They look like those generic public domain books you find at the library. And frankly, I think the use of AI in a case like this would be perfect if you used a basic model trained on fake movie posters and make sure it's all cleared artwork. And a basic LLM with some parameters to generate the movie names.
And the rest is basically nitpicks.
Like then the whole return thing. There should be a customizable space to do returns. Like I should be able to purchase more rewinders and not just do returns one at a time. HA! Maybe also a system where you have to match the tape with the box, and you can sometimes accidentally put the wrong tape in the wrong box and then people start asking for their money back. lol Make "Attention to detail" a desirable trait in people you hire.
And the location. It looks like you're in a shopping mall. Which is bizarre. I don't know what they were going for there. I'd much prefer to be at a strip mall or like a building surrounded by wilderness. And the entire design feels modern, not a single thing from the doors, to the machines, to the clothing, to the style of the buildings look 90s. The only thing that looks 90s is the carpet selection. lol
And like the popcorn and icee machine. I never knew VHS stores to have those. The VHS stores I went in the 90s had claw machines, a pinball machine, gumball/sticker machines, and maybe an arcade cabinet or two, then sold microwave popcorn packets.
All in all it looks and feels like a game designed by someone who never experienced VHS stores at the height of their popularity in the 90s.
Anyways, it's a good game that I can turn my brain off with, but that's about it. It does get my creative juices flowing in wanting to make a much better game based on the concept though. Like for an authentic 90s VHS store there needs to be that one employee that sells drugs to customers on the down low and you should be able to either fire him or demand a cut.
-
Comment on I love you all in ~talk
CrypticCuriosity629 Link ParentHmm that's a great idea. I'm going to look into this.Hmm that's a great idea. I'm going to look into this.
-
Comment on 3D printers, do you use glue stick? in ~hobbies
CrypticCuriosity629 LinkBefore I got a cold plate I used hairspray and that worked like a charm.Before I got a cold plate I used hairspray and that worked like a charm.
-
Comment on 'Dungeon Crawler Carl' TV series lands at Peacock in ~tv
CrypticCuriosity629 (edited )Link ParentI respect you not liking the book, but I don't think this is a fair assessment. I think the book is an absurd commentary on a lot of things, like capitalism, fascism, unmitigated consumerism, and...I respect you not liking the book, but I don't think this is a fair assessment.
I think the book is an absurd commentary on a lot of things, like capitalism, fascism, unmitigated consumerism, and yes misogyny, not a celebration of it any of it. I said it in another comment, but I gauge that opinion from the fact that the victims of the crawl aren't ever depicted as the ones being immature, they're dealing with trauma and reacting in real ways, always criticizing what's happening around them without celebrating it. At no point in the book is any of that celebrated as good by anyone other than this alien civilization subjecting Earth to the Crawl, it is always criticized. The immaturity, absurdity, inappropriateness, and yes the misogyny of the universe outside of Earth is used as a plot device that is constantly criticized.
Like Carl, at multiple points, loses his temper at everything happening and how unserious and inappropriate it all is.
And to directly address the part about gigantic breasts, spoilers for the first book to whom it matters, but that is extremely out of context and misrepresents what happened.
First, the breasts aren't real, it's part of the costume that Odette wore when she was in the crawl. It's part of the absurd and innapropriateness that these people have been subjected to. The moment the cameras are off she takes them off.
Second, Carl's not describing them in immature sexual lust, or even admiration, there's not a single positive inclination he has while describing them, he's describing how completely absurd and out of place and inappropriate they are.
-
Comment on 'Dungeon Crawler Carl' TV series lands at Peacock in ~tv
CrypticCuriosity629 (edited )Link ParentI mean I wouldn't describe it as that at all. I wonder what the difference between absurd and low-brow is. Without spoiling anything, when I read the series, I saw all the inappropriate...I mean I wouldn't describe it as that at all.
I wonder what the difference between absurd and low-brow is.
Without spoiling anything, when I read the series, I saw all the inappropriate situations, crude humor, and weird stuff with the AI and the crawl as absurdity that's called for within the narrative that the universe and this space government is just unhinged and non-serious and how that's contrasted with the absolute hell that is the Crawl.
I mean a common theme throughout the book is the mistreatment of the crawlers and the horror of how nobody in the universe sees them as anything other than disposable objects for their entertainment and to make corporations money, and their idea of entertainment is this crude and inappropriate, low brow, absurd and often times disgusting and demeaning. And that's sort of part of the horror the crawlers are subjected to. They aren't just having a fun time here.
Like it's never the human characters that act absurdly. They're all grounded and emotional, dealing with trauma. It's always everything around them that's absurd and them being forced to react to the absurdity in very real ways.
And so I always interpreted it less that the writer was immature and more that the story he is trying to tell uses absurdity as a plot device.
Sort of like how Idiocracy has a lot of absurd and crude humor, but it's intentional for the narrative being told.
I've read, or tried to and threw in the trash, books that are immature and gross for the hell of it, and I thought DCC was the same at first. But after reading it I didn't see it as that at all.
-
Comment on 'Dungeon Crawler Carl' TV series lands at Peacock in ~tv
CrypticCuriosity629 (edited )Link ParentI'm probably biased because I'm kind of obsessed with it right now, but I avoided the series because I thought it was low brow cringe stuff for edgelords. It's not even though that's what it looks...I'm probably biased because I'm kind of obsessed with it right now, but I avoided the series because I thought it was low brow cringe stuff for edgelords.
It's not even though that's what it looks like at first. It's chaotic, leans hard into absurdity, and doesn't take itself seriously, but it's also got really likable characters, very emotionally hard hitting moments, and arcs that have payoffs.
However, I'm realizing now that I consider a lot of the inappropriateness and crude humor as absurdity necessary to the story being told and some people didn't.
Like my interpretation of the narrative was that the goal of the author was to write about an alien civilization comprised of immature edgelords, as opposed to the author being an immature edgelord writing about an alien civilization.
-
Comment on See how Hollywood’s job market is collapsing in ~movies
CrypticCuriosity629 Link ParentYeah, I'm with you there. I try to keep props as a hobby, I have 2 3D printers and I'm always interested in a prop project, but frankly I'm so burnt out that it's hard finding the energy most of...Yeah, I'm with you there.
I try to keep props as a hobby, I have 2 3D printers and I'm always interested in a prop project, but frankly I'm so burnt out that it's hard finding the energy most of the time.
-
Comment on Backrooms | Official trailer in ~movies
CrypticCuriosity629 LinkI don't know what anyone is talking about, if someone showed this trailer to me and said it was an SNL skit with Chiwetel Ejiofor, I would 100% believe them without question. Doesn't look bad, but...I don't know what anyone is talking about, if someone showed this trailer to me and said it was an SNL skit with Chiwetel Ejiofor, I would 100% believe them without question.
Doesn't look bad, but looks almost like a satire of meme based movies.
Yep.
It sucks because I had a very traumatic relationship in my senior year of highschool because I caught my ex cheating on me then she threatened to falsely accuse me of SA and being abusive if I told anyone. I told people anyways, she spread the rumor, school got involved, I got expelled, police were involved, only for one of her friends to feel bad for me and go to the school and police with AIM chats of my ex confessing to it all being BS. That one person saved my ass and it's terrifying for me thinking about how close I was to having my life ruined.
Well, the school and cops dropped it after that, but I was already at an accelerated learning school, and it didn't make sense to reintegrate back into school in just the last few weeks. I never got to walk for my highschool graduation.
What also sucks is a few years before this, my grandmother who I was living with threatened to call the police if I didn't listen to her during an argument. She called the cops and when they told her they can't take me away just for not listening to her, she blurted out that I threatened her and they immediately cuffed me and took me to juvi for a few days. When I had never even came close to threatening her, just arguing with her.
Anyways, fast forward to my 20s, I'm an open book so I freely talk about my trauma and past, had told another one of my exes about everything above, and she ended up using the same threat to threaten me with false accusations knowing it was a painful memory of mine. During a particularly bad argument she started hitting herself and said that "now everyone will think you're an abuser".
There were a lot of instances like that, she knew it was the one 100% chance of success cheatcode to winning every argument with me or getting me to do or not do anything she wanted.
Like I'm not sure how to put into words the hell I was going through watching her cover up the bruises she had made on herself the night before after hitting herself and threatening me, and with her acting completely fine and normal and me knowing that if I didn't act fine and normal with her she could just wipe off her makeup and I could go to jail.
She would also gaslight me saying "If this keeps happening to you, then there must be some truth!" and she tried to straight up gaslight me into thinking I had actually been abusive.
And I'm a very progressive person, so this isn't a criticism of the #metoo movement at all because there was some valid and necessary justice happening there, but as a man who had personally dealt with weaponized false accusations more than once in my life, reading everywhere that false accusations don't happen and that my abuse wasn't valid practically retraumatized me. It made me scared to talk about it, and scared no one would believe me if I did talk about it.
Don't get me wrong, I did have some past toxic traits that I've been introspective about, but I wasn't abusive. It took me years of therapy after being gaslit and thinking I must be abusive since I've gotten so many accusations of it in my life, to untangle what was just my own toxicity and what was accusations.
I still have worries and doubts that talking about it will make people think I'm abusive and I'm just making delusional or malicious excuses.
It really fucked me up and it's taken me years of therapy and some intentional use of psychedelics to move past all of that, and not see myself as abusive or bad when I'm not.