Hey, I went through experiences that are weirdly similar to where you find yourself now. For me, it was right after my undergrad. I felt incredibly lost, was depressed and didn't even realize (me,...
Hey, I went through experiences that are weirdly similar to where you find yourself now.
For me, it was right after my undergrad. I felt incredibly lost, was depressed and didn't even realize (me, depressed? No way, that's for other people). And most strikingly similarly, I developed incredibly debilitating headaches near the end of my school degree which was INCREDIBLY isolating and problematic.
There's Two things I want to share with your about my experience:
I partially agree with part of what the other commentor said about taking a break. I'm definitely not saying drop out though, I'm just saying if you take a year before your masters you can take time to sort out your headaches. You are living with chronic pain at a young age, and like me at the time, it sounds like you might not have come to terms with what that means on the level you need to. Taking a year off before I really jumped into my full career was the best decision I've made. During that time I started seeing doctors and taking care of my health, and finally found ways to mitigate and deal with the pain. I also got diagnosed with depression that was co-morbid with the headaches and was able to treat that as well.
it never feels this way when you're in the throes of it, but things do get better. It's a few years since I was in your position, and I can gladly say that I am happily married, have a good social circle, and really love my career. Most importantly though, my depression and headaches are both managed and treated. The headaches are still a big part of my life, but I went from living with headaches 70% of my waking hours, down to about 25%.
I obviously don't know you, and I can't ever really know what you're going through yourself, but I want to stress that your situation can absolutely improve and you will find yourself much happier one day in the future. I hope after your undergrad you're able to take some time for yourself and your health and that things turn around for you.
Fuck chronic headaches. You can get through it though.
If you're not happy attending school, stop attending school. You can always attend grad school later in life. If you happen to be fortunate enough to not be in crippling debt, take time to find...
If you're not happy attending school, stop attending school. You can always attend grad school later in life. If you happen to be fortunate enough to not be in crippling debt, take time to find yourself. Go to a temp agency and try anything they throw at you at least once. It'll probably be minimum wage work, or close to it, but it'll break the routine.
I'm not the best at 'go out and meet people,' so I can't give much advice there other than chitchat with your coworkers and see what happens.
At the end of the day, there's no sense in doubling down on unhappiness because of the sunk costs.
And I'll throw this one out there: Take your phone, leave it on your bedside table. Go for a 4 hour meandering walkabout at 11 PM with $20 cash, your ID, and a credit card.
Unless you live in an incredibly dangerous neighboorhood, odds are you'll be fine. And you'll have done something most people would think impossible.
The key thing (I may or may not have clearly expressed, or edited in after initial), is sometimes we just need a break.... especially if we're feeling empty and lonely. Theres no reason you can't...
The key thing (I may or may not have clearly expressed, or edited in after initial), is sometimes we just need a break.... especially if we're feeling empty and lonely. Theres no reason you can't start your career at 30 instead of 27.
For me, after my break, I realized a job is a job and I chose to seek fulfillment seperate from paying bills, and it's worked out well enough.
Seriously though, try the late night walkabout. Changed my life.
I think you already identified some things to start thinking about in your post. 🙂 How do you define a "meaningful life"? Besides having deep connections, what other things would make your life...
I think you already identified some things to start thinking about in your post. 🙂
How do you define a "meaningful life"? Besides having deep connections, what other things would make your life feel less empty?
What does "youth" mean to you? What experiences did you miss out on that you wanted to have? Are there any that you can still have now?
What other issues came up in freshman year of undergrad that interfered with establishing yourself socially? (You already mentioned timeliness of introductions and getting more involved in extracurriculars.)
As an aside, grad school will be very demanding. It will probably impact your mental and physical health again at some point. So wherever you end up going, I would find out where the student wellness or counseling center is and what services they offer for mental health support.
I had really really really bad migraines for years, and I was seeing a neurologist regularly. After like 10 different things didn't work he suggested this weird electronic device that you wear on...
I had really really really bad migraines for years, and I was seeing a neurologist regularly. After like 10 different things didn't work he suggested this weird electronic device that you wear on your forehead for an hour a day (doesn't require a prescription). He was really skeptical whether it would work (which is why I think there's a decent chance you might not have heard of it yet) but it was honestly the most effective thing I ever did. They let you return it if it doesn't work for you so I'd suggest trying it.
Hey, I went through experiences that are weirdly similar to where you find yourself now.
For me, it was right after my undergrad. I felt incredibly lost, was depressed and didn't even realize (me, depressed? No way, that's for other people). And most strikingly similarly, I developed incredibly debilitating headaches near the end of my school degree which was INCREDIBLY isolating and problematic.
There's Two things I want to share with your about my experience:
I obviously don't know you, and I can't ever really know what you're going through yourself, but I want to stress that your situation can absolutely improve and you will find yourself much happier one day in the future. I hope after your undergrad you're able to take some time for yourself and your health and that things turn around for you.
Fuck chronic headaches. You can get through it though.
If you're not happy attending school, stop attending school. You can always attend grad school later in life. If you happen to be fortunate enough to not be in crippling debt, take time to find yourself. Go to a temp agency and try anything they throw at you at least once. It'll probably be minimum wage work, or close to it, but it'll break the routine.
I'm not the best at 'go out and meet people,' so I can't give much advice there other than chitchat with your coworkers and see what happens.
At the end of the day, there's no sense in doubling down on unhappiness because of the sunk costs.
And I'll throw this one out there: Take your phone, leave it on your bedside table. Go for a 4 hour meandering walkabout at 11 PM with $20 cash, your ID, and a credit card.
Unless you live in an incredibly dangerous neighboorhood, odds are you'll be fine. And you'll have done something most people would think impossible.
The key thing (I may or may not have clearly expressed, or edited in after initial), is sometimes we just need a break.... especially if we're feeling empty and lonely. Theres no reason you can't start your career at 30 instead of 27.
For me, after my break, I realized a job is a job and I chose to seek fulfillment seperate from paying bills, and it's worked out well enough.
Seriously though, try the late night walkabout. Changed my life.
I think you already identified some things to start thinking about in your post. 🙂
How do you define a "meaningful life"? Besides having deep connections, what other things would make your life feel less empty?
What does "youth" mean to you? What experiences did you miss out on that you wanted to have? Are there any that you can still have now?
What other issues came up in freshman year of undergrad that interfered with establishing yourself socially? (You already mentioned timeliness of introductions and getting more involved in extracurriculars.)
As an aside, grad school will be very demanding. It will probably impact your mental and physical health again at some point. So wherever you end up going, I would find out where the student wellness or counseling center is and what services they offer for mental health support.
I had really really really bad migraines for years, and I was seeing a neurologist regularly. After like 10 different things didn't work he suggested this weird electronic device that you wear on your forehead for an hour a day (doesn't require a prescription). He was really skeptical whether it would work (which is why I think there's a decent chance you might not have heard of it yet) but it was honestly the most effective thing I ever did. They let you return it if it doesn't work for you so I'd suggest trying it.