chizcurl's recent activity
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Comment on Holidays mental health thread in ~health.mental
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Comment on Struggling with nihilism and the inability to enjoy things in ~health.mental
chizcurl Link ParentHey! It's great to hear that you're doing better now. I checked out your other comment as well, and I'm so happy for you. Wishing you the best! ☺️Hey! It's great to hear that you're doing better now. I checked out your other comment as well, and I'm so happy for you. Wishing you the best! ☺️
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Comment on What moderate countries are left to emigrate to? in ~travel
chizcurl LinkI'm in the same boat, not sure where to possibly escape to if needed. My current option by birthright would be a place under the threat of invasion. If I took a stab in the dark, then I'd start...I'm in the same boat, not sure where to possibly escape to if needed. My current option by birthright would be a place under the threat of invasion. 🫠 If I took a stab in the dark, then I'd start looking at either Finland or Sweden. They constantly come out on top of those annual "happiest country in the world" lists.
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Comment on How would you go about teaching (or learning) critical thinking? in ~humanities
chizcurl (edited )LinkI think practicing how to fact check and point out inconsistencies is important. Most people encounter some form of that in school by writing essays and presenting arguments. Other activities that...I think practicing how to fact check and point out inconsistencies is important. Most people encounter some form of that in school by writing essays and presenting arguments. Other activities that reinforced the concept for me include joining mock trial and playing mystery/detective video games. Now that I think about it, the games served as an exercise for a majority of concepts listed in this thread (sources, persuasion, motivation, etc.)!
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Comment on World Health Organization declares mpox outbreaks in Africa a global health emergency as a new form of the virus spreads in ~health
chizcurl LinkFor anyone else who may be curious, I looked up mpox on Mayoclinic for a general definition and symptoms, and CDC for sample images of the rash.For anyone else who may be curious, I looked up mpox on Mayoclinic for a general definition and symptoms, and CDC for sample images of the rash.
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Comment on Struggling with nihilism and the inability to enjoy things in ~health.mental
chizcurl (edited )LinkOther people brought up good points about psychology and brain chemistry as well as mindfulness. The way I see it, focusing on the micro doesn't mean to stop thinking, but rather think more about...Other people brought up good points about psychology and brain chemistry as well as mindfulness. The way I see it, focusing on the micro doesn't mean to stop thinking, but rather think more about the current task at hand. It's hard to do that if your mind is too far into the future (we're all dying in the end, so what's the point of XYZ?).
Have you talked to your therapist about exercises to bring you back into the present? There's something like hyper focusing on one of the 5 senses to interrupt yourself when you catch yourself drifting.
I'll also echo what others said about medication. If it hasn't been explored yet, it sounds like an important piece of the puzzle.
On a side note, have you thought about a more cottagecore lifestyle as a means of rejecting society (rather than hedonism)? Like living in the suburbs or countryside and taking up more homestead activities. It's totally fine to be more reclusive if you feel drained by trying to fit into a social mold that doesn't feel authentic to you.
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Comment on Why does "Everything Everywhere All at Once" repulse me so much? in ~movies
chizcurl (edited )LinkWatching the actual movie would probably give you a better idea as to why it mentally and physically repulses you. Taking some notes could help you unpack. You wrote a few comments indicating that...Watching the actual movie would probably give you a better idea as to why it mentally and physically repulses you. Taking some notes could help you unpack.
You wrote a few comments indicating that the way the movie is shot rubs you the wrong way. Idk maybe it evokes bad memories for you for some reason.
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Comment on How should you prepare for the end of the honeymoon phase? in ~life
chizcurl (edited )Link Parent@0d_billie Happy for you both! 🥰 DialecticCake gave great questions for setting relationship boundaries. I've also asked these questions in the past. In addition, I would discuss whether both...@0d_billie Happy for you both! 🥰 DialecticCake gave great questions for setting relationship boundaries. I've also asked these questions in the past. In addition, I would discuss whether both parties are pausing or deleting their online dating profile.
For the long term, I asked my friends and family for advice. These were their tips, which I included in my discussion:
- Treat each other like best friends. Don't expect that they have to listen to you. Don't yell at them.
- If they have upset you or you feel a certain way about something, then communicate ASAP. Don't hold things inside - it'll boil up eventually. Listen to each other during arguments and understand the other person’s perspective.
- You can be angry, but don't take it out on each other. Give each other space when needed. Try not to go to bed angry with each other.
- Couples fight about the same 3-5 things during their whole relationship, so you’re choosing which 5 things you’re ok with fighting about forever. Figure out if that fits with your own boundaries and goals.
- Keep going out on dates with each other, even as you guys get more and more comfortable with one another.
- Always think of each other. Share everything and show that you care: If only one of you has an umbrella, share it; ask for each other's opinion.
- Teamwork, being open minded, and always being there to listen. Being able to compromise.
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Comment on I was an MIT educated neurosurgeon. Now I'm unemployed and alone in the mountains. How did I get here? in ~health.mental
chizcurl Link ParentI had the same big picture question. I wondered if he considered pivoting to primary care or starting his own practice, since he seemed to have an aha moment about preventative care. "Convenient...I had the same big picture question. I wondered if he considered pivoting to primary care or starting his own practice, since he seemed to have an aha moment about preventative care.
"Convenient external excuses for his shortcomings" seems kind of harsh though? He likely devoted 12-15 years of his life becoming a neurosurgeon and embraced the mission to ease human suffering. US doctors themselves aren't treated well by the system, especially during residency. As you pointed out, they often sacrifice their own health in order to help others. I also suspect that Dr. Goobie saw way more BS behind the scenes than he let on in the video. He hinted at hospital administration getting in the way of curing people, since that would be like working themselves out of a job. I'm guessing that all of these realizations culminated in his massive disillusionment of the system, whether he went for-profit or nonprofit.
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Comment on Help my wife decide about AJ & Smart in ~tech
chizcurl LinkI think I found a free 1 hour training from this program on their website. If this is the right one, then she can get a sense of the instructor's style and content here. For answers to the...I think I found a free 1 hour training from this program on their website. If this is the right one, then she can get a sense of the instructor's style and content here.
For answers to the in-depth questions, has your wife tried networking on LinkedIn? I searched for "AJ & Smart Master Workshopper" and found posts made by people who went through the program.
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Comment on Co-op game recommendations in ~games
chizcurl LinkYou could check out the "Activity" games in Discord. I played some in a group of 3 last week. We got hooked on Blazing 8s, which was basically Uno. But that might be less fun for a party of 2. Two...You could check out the "Activity" games in Discord. I played some in a group of 3 last week. We got hooked on Blazing 8s, which was basically Uno. But that might be less fun for a party of 2.
Two years ago, I had a blast playing Resident Evil 5 online co-op. My friend and I were in voice chat, which added to the bonding experience because the story is so dumb but enjoyable. Co-op made the "partner" aspect shine in areas such as resource management (you have shared inventory), combat, puzzles, and QTEs. You have to get past the horrible camera though.
All the best to you and your friend! 🙂
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Comment on Job search blues in ~talk
chizcurl (edited )LinkYou're definitely not alone. I've been searching for almost a year, and the competition is just that fierce. Companies are casting wide nets and then splitting hairs due to the flood of qualified...You're definitely not alone. I've been searching for almost a year, and the competition is just that fierce. Companies are casting wide nets and then splitting hairs due to the flood of qualified candidates. A recruiter once told me that the company went with another candidate, and the only explanation she could think of was that I lived too far from the office. 🤷♂️ Like you, I also haven't had success with employee referrals. It was shocking to be complimented on my expertise during the interview, only to be rejected the next day. The common thread was that I didn't have experience in the exact industry or specialized role. What happened to having transferrable skills and being vouched for by current employees??? Anyways, I wouldn't be too concerned about your LinkedIn unless you notice a pattern of rejections after companies view your profile.
I'm actually doing okay with getting interviews, I'm just weak at the interview part. 😅 If you're tailoring your application materials, which have been reviewed by managers and made ATS-friendly, then something else is happening that is excluding you from the beginning. Perhaps it is the sheer number of senior SWE's to compete with? I'm not a SWE, but I have seen sooo many job postings that require "2+" years of experience. While the minimum pay correlates with junior level, the maximum correlates with senior level, so the company might not actually be considering what it says on paper.
One thing that helps me get more responses is cold emailing the hiring manager after submitting the job app. I just make sure not to click on shady websites in the search results. Is this something you've tried?
I also track my job apps and application methods in a spreadsheet to figure out my interview conversion rates, where most opportunities are coming from, and what job titles I have a better chance at pursuing.
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Comment on Generic preventitive healthcare advice wanted in ~health
chizcurl (edited )LinkIn addition to the standard "physical" part of the annual physical, I'd ask your doctor if they recommend additional exams based on your current age, reproductive health (pap smear, testicular...In addition to the standard "physical" part of the annual physical, I'd ask your doctor if they recommend additional exams based on your current age, reproductive health (pap smear, testicular exam), or medical history.
I would also ask about standard blood work. You would have to fast appropriately if you intend to do blood tests on the same day though. Sometimes my lab orders include a urine sample. I don't know why, but I bring a big water bottle in case I need it. 😂
If STD screening is a concern, then I would ask for an STI panel that can be detected from blood work/urine. (That would be a lot of blood drawn if done all at once with the standard tests!)
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Comment on What video games have had you taking real-life notes? in ~games
chizcurl LinkMonster Hunter World takes the cake for me when it comes to note-taking for a game. I've got a 14-page google doc that I created when I was learning each new weapon! Plus the updates to weapon...Monster Hunter World takes the cake for me when it comes to note-taking for a game. I've got a 14-page google doc that I created when I was learning each new weapon! Plus the updates to weapon movesets after the Iceborne expansion.
Devil May Cry 5 forced me to break out the pen and paper too. Compared to the other DMC games, #5 seemed to have way more characters with different weapons and fighting styles that actually matter if you're trying to get high damage scores. 😵💫
I don't mind having to do additional studying or note-taking if I enjoy the combat. I'd recommend both games if you like the action RPG genre. However, MHW can be harder to get into since the gameplay is essentially a grindfest with a ton of resource management activities, and it requires an extensive amount of knowledge that lives outside of the game.
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Comment on Does anyone have experience or advice on cutting sugar consumption? in ~health
chizcurl Link ParentI recommend speaking with your doctor or looking for more resources on flexible dieting strategy, as opposed to a rigid strategy that defines strictly forbidden foods. While the latter works for...I recommend speaking with your doctor or looking for more resources on flexible dieting strategy, as opposed to a rigid strategy that defines strictly forbidden foods. While the latter works for some people, it can result in binge eating once the rule is broken. The problem with rules is that people still break them if they really want to. 😅
Have you tried to lessen the association of sweets as forbidden? Aka come up with ways to prove to yourself that you can exist in the same space as the sweets; you can choose when it's appropriate to have them.
For example, maybe you can buy 5 individual snack packs instead of a box of cookies. You won't have to deny yourself from eating one serving, but you will have to deny yourself from having all of them at once. If you want a cookie but not the whole pouch, wrap it back up and save the rest for later. Hopefully, you can work your way up to being comfortable with the box of cookies existing with you in the house.
An important note about serving size: I would be aware of it, but not focused on counting everything out. That can lead to the other extreme of disordered eating.
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Comment on Does anyone have experience or advice on cutting sugar consumption? in ~health
chizcurl (edited )LinkCongrats on the hard work that you’ve put into your health journey! Plateaus and regression are normal for most people. Your habits (and weight) fluctuate with stress, illness, grief, old age,...Congrats on the hard work that you’ve put into your health journey! Plateaus and regression are normal for most people. Your habits (and weight) fluctuate with stress, illness, grief, old age, etc. If you’ve caught yourself slipping, that's okay. Think about what you can do to get back on track towards health. What worked for you in the past, and can it apply to your lifestyle right now? If not, then what changes are you most likely to repeat? That is the key to sustainability.
For me, I LOVE sugar and sweets! But my doctor told me very sternly that I wasn’t 22 anymore. 💀 She gave me a target weight range and weekly move minutes quota several years back.
Deciding on moderation, I used an app to track my daily calorie intake. Restriction does not help everyone, but you mentioned your improved relationship with food. The app made me face the facts: Someone of my short stature and low physical activity can't have boba with lunch and brownie a la mode at dinner, in the same day, multiple times per week! I chose the least aggressive calorie deficit plan and loosely followed it. It took me 2 years to lose 18 lbs while trying to figure out what "sustainable" looks like for me.
I don't like the taste of sugar substitutes, so my other options were reasonable sugar reduction and portion control. For example, I trained my taste buds to enjoy black coffee because I would rather have sugar in the form of dessert instead of a latte. I can enjoy boba less sweet (~70-80% sugar) with regular ice, but I can't stand 50% sweet. If I get a slice of cheesecake, I'll save the other half for tomorrow.
Moderation also means that I don't wig out after indulging in brownies and boba with fried chicken on a Saturday. It's just one meal out of the week; I'll be fine as long as I return to eating healthy-ish and keep up with my move minutes. Since I don't like the gym, I run/walk in the neighborhood. But running is also kind of boring to me, so I make it more fun by listening to music or podcasts. If it's too cold outside, then I walk in place indoors while watching YouTube.
Someone else mentioned waiting out a craving; I also do that sometimes. Like if a craving for a specific dessert hits me at night after dinner, I'll wait until the next day. If the craving persists into the afternoon, then I'll go out and get it.
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Comment on Some thoughts on cleaning up my shitty apartment in ~talk
chizcurl LinkMaybe you're just overwhelmed by the task? Usually that has to do with feeling in control of the challenges you have to deal with. You might be interested in this video which talks about active...Maybe you're just overwhelmed by the task? Usually that has to do with feeling in control of the challenges you have to deal with. You might be interested in this video which talks about active and passive challenges.
My guess is that you feel like you're dealing with a problem that feels out of your control at the moment: You got a bunch of knick knacks and things encroaching on your physical space. Some random stuff, expensive stuff, and other stuff that might be useful for entertainment or decoration. So now you have to do more work by sorting through everything before you can get rid of stuff! Personally, I would start putting things in boxes or piles and slowly figure out what to keep, throw away, recycle (regular and e-waste), and donate. I'd probably block off an hour in my calendar for the next 3 weeks and see where that gets me. Just remember that it's okay to go at your own pace. 🙂
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Comment on How are you dealing with inflation regarding everyday enjoyment? in ~life
chizcurl (edited )LinkIt sucks having to downgrade your lifestyle, especially when the circumstances are beyond your control like what's happening now with inflation. What do you define as excessively looking for...It sucks having to downgrade your lifestyle, especially when the circumstances are beyond your control like what's happening now with inflation.
What do you define as excessively looking for discounts? I live by the mantra of "never pay full price or pay for shipping", but I enjoy the hunt for deals. It might help to review your monthly budget to see how much of your effort with discounts is absolutely necessary. You might be able to indulge in your favorite snacks, name brands, etc. more frequently than you thought. I have done this to exert some control over the uncontrollable.
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Comment on What do I do if I don't have any clothes? in ~life.style
chizcurl (edited )Link ParentWhat I meant was, it is normal to spend a whole day shopping and not buy anything because you didn’t want to “settle”. Over the years, I started buying pieces that I’m for sure excited about. The...What I meant was, it is normal to spend a whole day shopping and not buy anything because you didn’t want to “settle”. Over the years, I started buying pieces that I’m for sure excited about. The other stuff I bought while settling because I didn’t want to “waste” a 5-hour trip to the mall ended up gathering dust in the closet for years until I donated them. In effect, more of my time and money was actually wasted doing that.
It sounds like you want to shop intentionally. Maybe you could get more basics so that you have more clothes to wear while you take time shopping for the trendy pieces you want. I don’t think that would be a waste because basics can be paired with your future trendy items. Since it sounds like what you want cannot be obtained easily, then you could try paying someone else to create them (or do it yourself).
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Comment on What do I do if I don't have any clothes? in ~life.style
chizcurl LinkI just want to say that it is completely normal to spend a whole day shopping at the mall and end up buying nothing. Many designs are seasonal, and fast fashion places are all competing with each...I just want to say that it is completely normal to spend a whole day shopping at the mall and end up buying nothing. Many designs are seasonal, and fast fashion places are all competing with each other by carrying the same thing. For example, I never found the black jean shorts I wanted because every store that day decided to make them ripped. I went with regular jean shorts instead, because those were also on my list.
I was looking for more basics rather than statement pieces. It sounds like you might be in search of both? It's okay to take your time finding items that you really like, and items that will pair with other clothes that you already have. Too many clothes end up being a waste of money and space imo.
If you're having trouble finding clothes in person and online, then you might be interested in making your own clothes. 🤔 I've seen DIY clothes videos ranging from basic to advanced.
I read your linked comment in your other thread, and I hope this message is okay because I'm not sure if validation or problem solving is something you want to hear right now - so I'll try to keep it short. What happened was (and still is) messed up. It seems like you are facing a major crossroad in life because you cannot ignore everything that you know now. Sometimes, I get really stressed out thinking about the future and every decision tree to consider when making a choice. If you need to hear this, just know that it's okay to take things one step at a time.
Without knowing your cultural background and financial situation, all I can say is that not everyone has to pretend that everything is fine when it is not. Is it possible to make something up so you don't have to go to those gatherings? Like say there's a sudden work deadline or that you got food poisoning and it's coming out of both ends?