I tend to agree with you, and in fact, I would have never let a person in the midst of a drug addiction stay on my couch while continuing to use to begin with. When I posted this I figured the...
I tend to agree with you, and in fact, I would have never let a person in the midst of a drug addiction stay on my couch while continuing to use to begin with. When I posted this I figured the most prominent response would be "why didn't you call the cops sooner?". Unfortunately I didn't feel that it was exactly my place, Jack is not my friend and this home is not mine. I'm torn though because I knew my parents weren't going to call the police, as they tend to over-value non-confrontation, it's gotten them into trouble before. At this point I'm seeing the right thing would have been to call the police as soon as Jack put his hands on anyone in anyway, especially after being told "no".
The house is owned by my step-father, yes. I work shifts at his office on the weekends, so we'll definitely be discussing it. I will bring up my concern that our trying to care for a friend who...
The house is owned by my step-father, yes. I work shifts at his office on the weekends, so we'll definitely be discussing it. I will bring up my concern that our trying to care for a friend who won't help himself, got in the way of protecting a friend and housemate from being victimized. I'm thinking I'm going to tell him flat-out, that while it's not my decision how they decide to handle Jack, I will not hesitate to call the police if I witness something like what I saw ever again. I plan on apologizing to Dave in the morning for not acting sooner, and I can hopefully get him involved in a productive conversation with my parents about why I can never just watch something like that happen without getting the police involved again.
I have nothing much to add that hungariantoast hasn't already covered (who I 100% agree with) but I just wanted to second the suggestion of making sure to talk to Dave about the event and include...
I have nothing much to add that hungariantoast hasn't already covered (who I 100% agree with) but I just wanted to second the suggestion of making sure to talk to Dave about the event and include him in the conversation with your parents.
p.s. It sounds like you're a good friend. Even though you think you should have jumped in sooner, once you finally realized the extent of the situation, the fact that you did step in probably means a lot to Dave. I know it would if someone did that for me, too.
I'd like to zoom in on an off the cuff remark you made: For the love of all that's holy, just don't. I've been addicted to cocaine and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It can completely...
I'd like to zoom in on an off the cuff remark you made:
he started offering me "bumps" every time he'd come over starting maybe 6 months ago (I've never partaken and hope I never will).
For the love of all that's holy, just don't. I've been addicted to cocaine and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It can completely remove all possible empathy you may have for someone. It'll make you go to extreme lengths to get it, and the high is so short, you'll spend all the money you have on it. Look at how it made Jack behave - the only things you care about when on cocaine are yourself and getting more cocaine.
So for Jack to offer it to you, knowing (at the very least deep down) how it changes people, is a terrible move on his part. If I had to take a guess, I'd say he did it to share a problem with you in the hopes it would make his problem seem smaller. To me, it signals a very disturbing, very selfish thought. You don't offer cocaine to people you care for, especially not when you've been confronted with the downsides (like Jack more than likely has).
As for the future: I think Jack has a lot to prove. If it were me, I wouldn't let him anywhere near me, my house or my family until he's demonstrated that he can live his life sober. It may seem harsh, but that's really the only way you can be sure you're not enabling his cocaine problem. Don't open the door when he's at your house and phone the police. It's really the only way you'll help him and, more importantly, yourself.
I tend to agree with you, and in fact, I would have never let a person in the midst of a drug addiction stay on my couch while continuing to use to begin with. When I posted this I figured the most prominent response would be "why didn't you call the cops sooner?". Unfortunately I didn't feel that it was exactly my place, Jack is not my friend and this home is not mine. I'm torn though because I knew my parents weren't going to call the police, as they tend to over-value non-confrontation, it's gotten them into trouble before. At this point I'm seeing the right thing would have been to call the police as soon as Jack put his hands on anyone in anyway, especially after being told "no".
Thank you for the response and advice
The house is owned by my step-father, yes. I work shifts at his office on the weekends, so we'll definitely be discussing it. I will bring up my concern that our trying to care for a friend who won't help himself, got in the way of protecting a friend and housemate from being victimized. I'm thinking I'm going to tell him flat-out, that while it's not my decision how they decide to handle Jack, I will not hesitate to call the police if I witness something like what I saw ever again. I plan on apologizing to Dave in the morning for not acting sooner, and I can hopefully get him involved in a productive conversation with my parents about why I can never just watch something like that happen without getting the police involved again.
I have nothing much to add that hungariantoast hasn't already covered (who I 100% agree with) but I just wanted to second the suggestion of making sure to talk to Dave about the event and include him in the conversation with your parents.
p.s. It sounds like you're a good friend. Even though you think you should have jumped in sooner, once you finally realized the extent of the situation, the fact that you did step in probably means a lot to Dave. I know it would if someone did that for me, too.
I'd like to zoom in on an off the cuff remark you made:
For the love of all that's holy, just don't. I've been addicted to cocaine and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It can completely remove all possible empathy you may have for someone. It'll make you go to extreme lengths to get it, and the high is so short, you'll spend all the money you have on it. Look at how it made Jack behave - the only things you care about when on cocaine are yourself and getting more cocaine.
So for Jack to offer it to you, knowing (at the very least deep down) how it changes people, is a terrible move on his part. If I had to take a guess, I'd say he did it to share a problem with you in the hopes it would make his problem seem smaller. To me, it signals a very disturbing, very selfish thought. You don't offer cocaine to people you care for, especially not when you've been confronted with the downsides (like Jack more than likely has).
As for the future: I think Jack has a lot to prove. If it were me, I wouldn't let him anywhere near me, my house or my family until he's demonstrated that he can live his life sober. It may seem harsh, but that's really the only way you can be sure you're not enabling his cocaine problem. Don't open the door when he's at your house and phone the police. It's really the only way you'll help him and, more importantly, yourself.