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Passion, direction, inspiration : How do you rediscover it?
I'm stuck in a rut.
What do you do to get out? How do you rediscover something that inspires you? Or something that you can be passionate about?
I've got a handful of "projects" on the go at all times - writing some music, getting better at the sport I play, learn a new language for work, do some "proper" research. But they all sort of sit there looking tedious on my whiteboard. I'm just not passionate about any of them really (except maybe the sport, but I'm approaching 40 so it's not like I'm on the verge of setting the world on fire with it!).
What do you do to rediscover your inspiration? What has worked for you?
I guess the music and the language (computer programming) are harking back to a younger version of me. I used to play in various bands and recorded some demos over the years, and (quite a long time ago now) I used to be a pretty accomplished developer.
Maybe I'm just hanging on to those out of some nostalgic yearning for a younger version of myself.
I really would like to be able to develop again, but I find that the basics are too basic to interest me but the more advanced stuff is beyond me. This might just need a "butt in the chair" solution though. Something I should just keep grinding at until it sinks in.
The sport thing is probably my only real "passion" and I throw a fair amount of time at that, but like I said, at close to 40 it's not something I'm about to break into in a big way.
The ennui thing is perhaps a good call. I've taken the decision to come off social media (twitter, facebook, reddit) since I considered them all echo chambers for my worldview (at best), and I've also stopped following the news since I considered that as basically a means of annoying myself through the medium of highlighting how little I can affect the world at large.
Yes, it really does.
We seem to have a common pool of resultant experience - albeit a different set of inputs.
I have a family, a house, etc, and I run my own business - which I built out of my previous work experience and passion.
Oddly running my own business has freed up a lot of time for me, compared with working for someone else, and so I find myself fairly time-rich. And yet, any attempt to do anything with this time just leads me back to my OP.
It's a strange (and arguably pretty privileged) position to be in that I'm left considering whether to allow my business to continue to succeed and "enjoy" the free time it gives me, or whether I should go back to working for someone else, feeling time-poor, and then lamenting the fact that I don't really have the time to pursue my hobbies and passions.
On some level I really worry that what I'm actually living through is simply my own disappointment in my own lack of talent and imagination. Having removed the time barriers that were "preventing me from succeeding" I'm left high and dry with no excuses. If I put the time barriers back up then I can go back to quietly lamenting "the man" and "the system" and dreaming of a time when I can retire and have the free time I need to "focus on my hobbies".
Thank you for this comment. It has fed into an internal debate I've been having for a while (and one I've been having with a couple of other, IRL, people too) about my options and my next move.
The obviousness, and yet simultaneous elusiveness, of this simple point belies its wisdom. I'd lost that perspective recently so thank you for giving it back.
If you find that article again I'd be really interested to read it.
As far as creative mediums go, something that helps me a lot is taking a break from your own stuff and trying to emulate a musician/artist/etc style that you wouldn't normally try to write. For example, if you're usually into writing heavy metal music, try emulating a psychedelic rock band or maybe something outside of rock music all together, if you're feeling adventurous. I find it helps me get out of my own head as far as the sound I want as well as giving you some unique ideas to implement in that sound you've been pining for.
I think this might be especially useful since you mention that you don't feel particularly passionate for the stuff you're currently working towards, and that you haven't gotten much done. I think, as far as your creative side goes, you might just be looking in the wrong direction. Trying a new sound might be exactly what you need.
It might also be the case that you won't ever care enough about any of the things you listed to really get anything done, which is fine also. There are lots of hobbyist stuff that you could delve into and since you've only named a few, maybe you just haven't found the thing that excites you enough to get it done? Have you tried programming? Building stuff (electronics / woodworking)? Making random shit (soap / specialty foods / quilting / anything in the world really)?
I've recently found myself branching into electronica from metal in my listening. So far all attempts at merging the two when I play have left me a bit...Pitchshifter!
It's a good call though - getting the recording rig plugged in and then dolefully choking out a fifth-heavy doom riff isn't exactly pushing any boundaries. I'll have to give something more divergent a go.
Late again, but a number of years ago, I attended a "happiness" workshop (don't ask), at a time when I had a variety of more-or-less creative endeavors making good headway - jewelry-making, cooking, science journalism, fiction writing, mail admin for a political campaign, woodworking, and some other things. [Yeah, it was a pretty privileged life, during the "fat" years of the pre-2001 tech bubble...]
I wound up workshopping (?!) with a kindergarten teacher who was feeling stuck, and like she wasn't capable of inspiring her students or being creative herself.
"How do you do it?", she asked.
"Just play", was my answer.
Let go of all the received wisdom and judgments about artistic taste, quality, worthiness, and everything else so you can just produce novelty. Entertain yourself, without any worry about what others might think, exactly as if you were five years old and making mudpies for your own delight.
And speaking as a never-reformed control freak, it's therapeutic not to obsess over whether the results reflect improvement, show progress, are fit for marketing, or any other goal-oriented purpose.
There's nothing simple about this, since we're usually stuck in judgment mode to master basic survival, conserving every scrap of energy for the dull labor that earns money. Making judgments about your own output is heavy labor in itself, and why working to set down that burden is the best way to re-engage with joy.
You can give yourself an opening to view the liberating fireworks that arise from screwing around to see what happens, when you try new things without preconceptions.
It's interesting because in my efforts to focus and find direction and purpose I've spent time cutting out things that I considered wasteful and unhelpful, and I beat myself up when I spend time doing things to no apparent end or purpose.
I think there's a fine line though, and I'm not sure exactly where it lies. I genuinely believe that social media is basically evil. But maybe there's a small percentage of it that can be useful and in my efforts to focus I've thrown the baby out with the bathwater.
I didn't make it clear enough that I was referring to making, rather than consuming, entertainment.
And that gets back to another issue which impedes creativity. If social media shows others doing your chosen art form perfectly, and you can just sit and consume their work, it's hard to stay motivated and accept your own mistakes while you're learning.