What's something you don't appreciate as much as you probably should?

Parents!

They are the unsung heroes of the world, and it sounds like yours did a phenomenal job. Parenting is hard enough, but parenting plus poverty? Nigh insurmountable. They sound like modern miracle workers to me.

The older I get, the more respect I get for parents. This is a weird position for me in particular to take, as I have nearly every reason to be critical of parents and have spent much of my life doing exactly that. My relationship with my own parents is still being restructured after the fallout from me coming out to them. They didn't accept me, and I resented the years of growing up under their homophobic religious teachings, so we parted ways and are only just now putting back together the pieces of a broken relationship.

So I've got that. I'm also a teacher, and thus unfortunately get to see parents who do not take their role as parents seriously, as well as those that abuse or neglect their children. Though those parents are not the norm, it's hard to not let them take up more mental space than they should and shift the whole concept of parenting far in their dark direction.

So while I could be cynical about parents, I instead think they're awesome. Most parents are downright, unconditionally awesome for what they do. The decision to recenter their lives on a child or several in order to give them opportunities and help them become independent and fulfilled beings is, just... wow. I can't imagine being that selfless.

I didn't really appreciate it until I aged into the situation where a large number of my peers are married and have children of their own. I see how much effort goes into everyday things: making lunches, making sure someone's there to pick up the kids off the bus, making sure they go to bed, making sure they don't injure themselves, making sure they learn to pick up after themselves, making sure they eat their vegetables when all they want is sugar, making sure their homework is done, making sure their clothes are washed and the floor is scrubbed after they found a Sharpie you left out, etc. That alone is a full-time job, much less adding in obligations like doctor's appointments, sports practices, music lessons, recitals, extended family visits, school events, etc.

Seeing all of this has helped me forgive my own parents, actually. For so long all I could see was the damage they'd done to me by directly contributing to the toxicity of the homophobic environment I grew up in. I can't understate how damaging that was, and it was nearly fatal to me. I, rightfully, couldn't look past that. However, in hindsight, as I've grown, I have learned to appreciate so much more about them. They were always there for me, always fed me, always showed up to my events. They bought me new clothes when I needed them, let me explore hobbies of interest, taught me good habits and (mostly) good values. They did so much right and contributed so much to who I am today, and it's a shame that so much of the richness of a parent/child relationship was spoiled by a prejudice they couldn't even see because it was everywhere at the time.

So yeah, it's taken me a long time but I genuinely think parents, even my own, are awesome. They lay the framework for the future. They are the supports for people who cannot yet support themselves. They are selfless and serving in thousands of invisible ways. They are the leaders that few see and appreciate as such. And they definitely deserve more love and appreciation than they get.