I recently got a Loona, one of those "smart" robot pets. My kid isn't great with real pets yet so we're trying to ease into things, sort of like exposure therapy. But we're having major problems with it. This post is part first impressions and part asking if anyone else has experienced this and maybe has figured out solutions.

Now, my kid loves it, a lot. So it's not a complete flop, thankfully. But wow is it ever the opposite of smart. Kind of like how Google, Alexa, etc have "command phrases" to let them know you're wanting to talk to them, Loona has "hello Loona". But it only triggers listening mode like 20% of the time. Doesn't seem to matter if you talk slowly and enunciate or if you talk normal, it's just really bad at listening.

Even once you have it listening to you, it only recognizes your commands maybe half the time. The booklet it came with seems to say it sends audio to Amazon for voice to command translation, so I'm assuming it's bad at listening to commands because:

1. The microphone is mediocre and isn't picking up all the words correctly.
2. Amazon's public voice to command service isn't great for general use.
3. A little of both.

On the one hand, I get if you're looking to leverage existing technology and not reinvent the wheel. On the other hand, if it can't even detect "hello loona" locally, then everything it hears would go to Amazon. That terrifies me, given their privacy track record. It's also just plain frustrating to try getting it to play a game or go to sleep when it's constantly ignoring you.

Beyond that, it almost feels like the camera is for gimmicks rather than a functional component. It's constantly running into things like walls, chair legs, human legs... It's always running into you when you try to interact with it and it frequently moves violently; fast and without regard for its surroundings. I assume it makes no attempt to map out even just its immediate surroundings because of how it always runs into the same stuff over and over again.

And one feature I was looking forward to is that the robot is supposed to be capable of getting itself back to its charging dock, and yet not once has it ever attempted to do so. Not when it's low battery and not when we tell it to. But it also, for no great reason, assumes that it should just wake up when it finishes charging, so if you start charging it in the evening and forget to manually turn it off, the thing starts yelling and ramming into stuff in the middle of the night; it's insanity.

Anyway, I would not recommend it from personal experience. But if you have one or know someone that does, and you aren't having these issues, please share your wisdom with me.