This whole strain of critique on this show has struck me as being really lazy. 1.) The show is a lighthearted dating show that presents the subjects as they are. You can have whatever opinions you...
This whole strain of critique on this show has struck me as being really lazy.
1.) The show is a lighthearted dating show that presents the subjects as they are. You can have whatever opinions you want about them and their preferences. I don't think it makes sense to be critical over it for not being some kind of didactic exercise in complaining about colorism or whatever. How is this different from The Bachelor/Bachelorette or Millionaire Matchmaker or any number of other slice-of-life reality shows?
2.) You could literally write an article like this about any show that doesn't make a point of sitting in judgement over its subject matter. People feel free to point stuff out like this about Indian matchmaking because it's comparatively "exotic." But we're just supposed to take all the same dynamics of classism, heightism, colorism, racism, and every other kind of status-obsessed superficiality that comes with every other kind of dating as 'normal' because it's presented in a context we're more familiar with.
3.) I do love the no-win situation here where production distribution is criticized for lack of representation. Then they do something representative and apparently representation only counts if the subjects are endlessly flogging themselves about the regressiveness and backwardness of their own cultures. And of course, if they did that they'd get a fusillade of criticism about how South Asians will only ever get depicted in media if it's to talk about how regressive and backwards their cultures are through a Western lens. There's just no pleasing people.
Many of the Desi writers commenting on this show seem to be bringing in a lot of their personal baggage into how they're receiving it.
I thought the author was pretty clearly using the show as a starting point to say what she wanted to say about arranged marriage and her own personal history with it, even if that's not fair to...
I thought the author was pretty clearly using the show as a starting point to say what she wanted to say about arranged marriage and her own personal history with it, even if that's not fair to the show:
What I want from Indian Matchmaking is probably impossible: Not just an exploration of arranged marriage, but a true reckoning with its limitations.
It seems similar to essays in the New York Review of Books that are less about the book and more about the author's own take on the subject.
Yeah. And that approach might be more interesting if the thing they wanted to say was original or fresh, but at this point we've all seen 1,000 hot takes about how [media] doesn't address...
I thought the author was pretty clearly using the show as a starting point to say what she wanted to say about arranged marriage and her own personal history with it, even if that's not fair to the show:
Yeah. And that approach might be more interesting if the thing they wanted to say was original or fresh, but at this point we've all seen 1,000 hot takes about how [media] doesn't address [problematic thing.] It's not really a criticism of any piece of media. Not everything can be about everything, so you can literally write a piece like this about anything. It's like there's a checklist somewhere people tick off all the stuff a work does cover so that they can rant about the stuff it doesn't cover. But I don't get what the point is.
The tenor of criticisms of Indian Matchmaking are especially bizarre to me because the complaints largely seem to be "People are superficial and gross." Which is sort of like "Yes. . . welcome to dating." I didn't find them to be particularly less superficial or gross when I was on OKCupid, there just wasn't anyone there to act as go between or offer blunt advice about what the situation was going to be like.
I haven't read other criticisms of the show and my own understanding of arranged marriages is mostly based on a few Bollywood movies, novels by Indian authors, and random other articles, so I...
I haven't read other criticisms of the show and my own understanding of arranged marriages is mostly based on a few Bollywood movies, novels by Indian authors, and random other articles, so I don't really know anything. But to me the more interesting part is the cross-cultural comparison, trying to get some understanding about how some Indian customs differ and the consequences for the people in that culture. (Or in the case of this writer, partly in it.) I'm guessing this is also part of the appeal of the show in the first place. I think there is a natural curiosity about how other people live, which in the worst case is just gawking, but can also be done more sympathetically. Personally, this is why I read articles and watch movies from other countries. Although I do judge sometimes too, I try not to let that get in the way of genuinely trying to understand what's going on.
This article is written for a non-Indian audience, explaining things that people in the culture already know to those of us who don't. An article written for people who already know that stuff would be different.
You can take a more distant view of things and talk about how people everywhere are the same in many ways, and that's also true but I think that misses the point of culturally-specific writing.
It's certainly possible to overgeneralize too; I think people telling personal stories shouldn't be expected to represent an entire culture, but people do have views based on their personal experiences.
It is a very mediocre show, not worth watching. Show creators didn't have any grand vision for the show. They have only focused on stereotypes associated with arranged marriages in India, not...
This sunny view of arranged marriage glosses over a lot of potential complications, ranging from individual heartache and loss to the wholesale porting of familial dysfunction and despair from one generation to the next. The stigma around divorce is so high—the show does not dance around that, at least—that the choice of partner is typically permanent, regardless of how unsuitable a pair might be for each other.
It is a very mediocre show, not worth watching. Show creators didn't have any grand vision for the show. They have only focused on stereotypes associated with arranged marriages in India, not going in to real issues. I wouldn't recommend this show.
I watched this show and found it moderately entertaining. Obviously it’s not a heavy show but I mostly had it on in the background while cooking and things like that. Some parts are definitely...
I watched this show and found it moderately entertaining. Obviously it’s not a heavy show but I mostly had it on in the background while cooking and things like that. Some parts are definitely contrived and induce eye-rolling, but like a lot of dumb tv it was passable.
I haven't seen it, but am fairly familiar with the issues the author mentions. There's always the nagging question of the potential for the show to be considered as representative by (or maybe...
I haven't seen it, but am fairly familiar with the issues the author mentions. There's always the nagging question of the potential for the show to be considered as representative by (or maybe even marketed as such to) people who don't know any better, rather than just another flavor of 'dumb TV.' No one likes seeing their struggles reduced to one-dimensional entertainment, and it isn't helped by the (over-)simplicity of the show's title.
Personally I object to the entire concept of dumb TV, but that's another story.
This whole strain of critique on this show has struck me as being really lazy.
1.) The show is a lighthearted dating show that presents the subjects as they are. You can have whatever opinions you want about them and their preferences. I don't think it makes sense to be critical over it for not being some kind of didactic exercise in complaining about colorism or whatever. How is this different from The Bachelor/Bachelorette or Millionaire Matchmaker or any number of other slice-of-life reality shows?
2.) You could literally write an article like this about any show that doesn't make a point of sitting in judgement over its subject matter. People feel free to point stuff out like this about Indian matchmaking because it's comparatively "exotic." But we're just supposed to take all the same dynamics of classism, heightism, colorism, racism, and every other kind of status-obsessed superficiality that comes with every other kind of dating as 'normal' because it's presented in a context we're more familiar with.
3.) I do love the no-win situation here where production distribution is criticized for lack of representation. Then they do something representative and apparently representation only counts if the subjects are endlessly flogging themselves about the regressiveness and backwardness of their own cultures. And of course, if they did that they'd get a fusillade of criticism about how South Asians will only ever get depicted in media if it's to talk about how regressive and backwards their cultures are through a Western lens. There's just no pleasing people.
Many of the Desi writers commenting on this show seem to be bringing in a lot of their personal baggage into how they're receiving it.
I thought the author was pretty clearly using the show as a starting point to say what she wanted to say about arranged marriage and her own personal history with it, even if that's not fair to the show:
It seems similar to essays in the New York Review of Books that are less about the book and more about the author's own take on the subject.
Yeah. And that approach might be more interesting if the thing they wanted to say was original or fresh, but at this point we've all seen 1,000 hot takes about how [media] doesn't address [problematic thing.] It's not really a criticism of any piece of media. Not everything can be about everything, so you can literally write a piece like this about anything. It's like there's a checklist somewhere people tick off all the stuff a work does cover so that they can rant about the stuff it doesn't cover. But I don't get what the point is.
The tenor of criticisms of Indian Matchmaking are especially bizarre to me because the complaints largely seem to be "People are superficial and gross." Which is sort of like "Yes. . . welcome to dating." I didn't find them to be particularly less superficial or gross when I was on OKCupid, there just wasn't anyone there to act as go between or offer blunt advice about what the situation was going to be like.
I haven't read other criticisms of the show and my own understanding of arranged marriages is mostly based on a few Bollywood movies, novels by Indian authors, and random other articles, so I don't really know anything. But to me the more interesting part is the cross-cultural comparison, trying to get some understanding about how some Indian customs differ and the consequences for the people in that culture. (Or in the case of this writer, partly in it.) I'm guessing this is also part of the appeal of the show in the first place. I think there is a natural curiosity about how other people live, which in the worst case is just gawking, but can also be done more sympathetically. Personally, this is why I read articles and watch movies from other countries. Although I do judge sometimes too, I try not to let that get in the way of genuinely trying to understand what's going on.
This article is written for a non-Indian audience, explaining things that people in the culture already know to those of us who don't. An article written for people who already know that stuff would be different.
You can take a more distant view of things and talk about how people everywhere are the same in many ways, and that's also true but I think that misses the point of culturally-specific writing.
It's certainly possible to overgeneralize too; I think people telling personal stories shouldn't be expected to represent an entire culture, but people do have views based on their personal experiences.
It is a very mediocre show, not worth watching. Show creators didn't have any grand vision for the show. They have only focused on stereotypes associated with arranged marriages in India, not going in to real issues. I wouldn't recommend this show.
Yeah, I have no intention of watching it. I thought the article was interesting, though.
I watched this show and found it moderately entertaining. Obviously it’s not a heavy show but I mostly had it on in the background while cooking and things like that. Some parts are definitely contrived and induce eye-rolling, but like a lot of dumb tv it was passable.
I haven't seen it, but am fairly familiar with the issues the author mentions. There's always the nagging question of the potential for the show to be considered as representative by (or maybe even marketed as such to) people who don't know any better, rather than just another flavor of 'dumb TV.' No one likes seeing their struggles reduced to one-dimensional entertainment, and it isn't helped by the (over-)simplicity of the show's title.
Personally I object to the entire concept of dumb TV, but that's another story.