Aran's recent activity
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
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Comment on Timasomo 2026: Roll Call in ~creative.timasomo
Aran LinkI had to dig through my comment history to see if I had ever posted these before. Time flies... Back in 2024 I tentatively expressed interest in joining Timasomo and working on some polymer clay...I had to dig through my comment history to see if I had ever posted these before. Time flies...
Back in 2024 I tentatively expressed interest in joining Timasomo and working on some polymer clay figures. Apparently I got sick (I have such little memory of 2024 due to events of 2025...) and had nothing to show. Last year I didn't join Timasomo but throughout September/October I worked on a little polymer clay Fuecoco holding my best attempt at Percival's weapon (a character from Granblue Fantasy) as a gift for an online friend who mains that character in the fighting game (and is pretty highly ranked? I don't know, I don't do fighting games). I wasn't completely happy with it but it was cute enough and had that personalized charm!
Then, of course, the package was stolen off his porch. Photos I took before I packaged him up are all that remain.
oh, and then the breakup happened right after. I've had plenty of ideas of things to make and no real willpower to try again!
Anyways, it's that same friend's birthday again soon and I'm thinking of either making the same Pokemon with some Final Fantasy Dragoon garb (...or just the iconic spear weapons, the armor sounds way too out of my league) as that's what he's mained in FF14 since the olden days. Not sure!
Finally - another online friend, but this one is getting married in November and I won't be attending the wedding. I'd still really like to make something small and personalized for the couple though. I have many ideas and quite possibly not the skill and time to execute, but will see how I feel after the birthday gift?
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
Aran Link ParentOh wow, you finished the first game! Congrats! Disliking the gameplay shift in the second game compared to the first seems to be a near-universal phenomenon. I do wonder how I'd feel about it now...Oh wow, you finished the first game! Congrats!
Disliking the gameplay shift in the second game compared to the first seems to be a near-universal phenomenon. I do wonder how I'd feel about it now instead of as a frustrated middle schooler; I opened a random Reddit thread and the jargon is ... fascinating because I genuinely do not remember interacting with these aspects of the combat; I just remember stocking, break points, and doing a ridiculous amount of damage with MOMO.
...Wait, wait, wait. I am getting distracted now. Whilst looking up more information on Xenosaga 2's combat, I learned that they added MOMO as a cameo in Xenoblade 2... in the Switch 2 version. Huh!?!?
Anyways. Hey, Star Ocean 3 is another blast from the past! I played the PSP remakes of Star Ocean 2 and 1 and while I haven't replayed all these games since 2010, I remember being way more impressed with SO3 as a whole (despite a lot of online opinion roasting 3's story and lauding 2 as the best of the franchise at the time). I have a really soft spot in my heart for the video game and anime English voice acting names of that era.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (September 2026) in ~health.mental
Aran Link ParentI am doing so much better now (even taking into account the fact that mood will go up and down). It wasn't really a magic switch, of course. But between making some progress in bouldering (I...I am doing so much better now (even taking into account the fact that mood will go up and down). It wasn't really a magic switch, of course. But between making some progress in bouldering (I started about a month and half ago!), socializing a bit with folks at bouldering, spending all of today with an old high school friend on bird watching with some folks she knows and talking to some amazingly nice people, meeting up with another high school friend and just talking about Life in the evening... I am truly blessed. I still have some shit days but it'll be okay.
I remember writing my original comment worried about the tone and especially mention of anger, because I recognize that that's a worrisome emotion to associate with a breakup. But it would also not be honest to say I'm not feeling it, you know? And I'm grateful that even though I still feel resentment (and am not sure when it will ever go away), I am slowly finding things that I do care about enough so I'm too busy to really remember that resentment.
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Comment on Denmark is a cycling nation, but our research shows rates are declining – here's why in ~transport
Aran Link ParentI'm not well-traveled enough to compare my current city (Sacramento, apparently also known as the City of Trees) to others in the world, but this is also something that really struck me living...I'm not well-traveled enough to compare my current city (Sacramento, apparently also known as the City of Trees) to others in the world, but this is also something that really struck me living here for the last year and half compared to Los Angeles. It is truly miserable going outdoors when the weather hits 95F+, but I was pleasantly surprised to find myself getting my daily steps in despite the temperatures... because I live next to a park, which is right next to the river that has two separate trails running alongside it, and most of those paths - which I see used by walkers, runners, and cyclists - are well shaded by trees. I joke to my friends that the heat isn't that bad at all while flashing them screenshots of the weather forecast just to farm a bit of hand-wringing reactions, but it really is not bad! LA can feel far, far worse despite being 10 freedom units cooler.
(It also isn't terribly humid in the area compared to others so there's that aspect too...)
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
Aran Link ParentEvery time I see someone mention Xenosaga in [insert current year that isn't 2006], I get so happy... but usually it's from other old souls who remember it with its quirks and failings and moments...Every time I see someone mention Xenosaga in [insert current year that isn't 2006], I get so happy... but usually it's from other old souls who remember it with its quirks and failings and moments of brilliance with fondness. Very rarely do you see people talk about actually playing the games in the modern day. Heck I'd be down to read progress updates from you if you do manage to continue through the trilogy!
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (September 2026) in ~health.mental
Aran LinkI wrote a big wall of text for the old thread yesterday in the heat of the moment, knowing that it'd be better to let those thoughts marinate a bit and rewrite for the new thread. Okay, I wrote it...I wrote a big wall of text for the old thread yesterday in the heat of the moment, knowing that it'd be better to let those thoughts marinate a bit and rewrite for the new thread.
Okay, I wrote it out again and realized my emotions have gotten worse and not better overnight. I cried a bit and erased it to rewrite.
In short, I still feel a lot of things about a breakup that is now 10 months old. I don't like that these emotions are shifting in tone to that of anger. A lot of my therapy sessions have focused on moving away from feelings of shame and not being enough, and I still struggle with that too. Anger doesn't help, at all, and just makes me dwell on things more. I'm still finding things that I hope I can actually enjoy instead of simply distract myself from, like volunteering to clean out kennels at the local animal shelter and indoor bouldering and regular walks.
All things considered, I'm doing fine - I'm employed, work remotely, and my classes are starting to continue the undergrad I dropped out of over a decade ago. I think I just feel particularly unhappy because none of these things that fill up my schedule really come close to sparking joy. In the case of work, I'm actively slipping and I think the only reason I don't receive as much scrutiny as I could is because there just aren't people with the same level of expertise on this niche platform in the team. But even if I'm not getting in trouble, it just... doesn't feel good to know that I'm doing 20% of the work I could be putting out, because I'm spending hours of the day just feeling upset about life.
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Comment on What's something that's more challenging for you than it is for others? in ~talk
Aran Link ParentI think so too re: first visualizing the clock! It reminds me of recalling what left and right are in a second language - first I need to remember my personal pneumonic for the translation, and...I think so too re: first visualizing the clock! It reminds me of recalling what left and right are in a second language - first I need to remember my personal pneumonic for the translation, and that tiny little blip feels too long where there is a distinct advantage in cutting down as many mental steps as possible.
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Comment on What's something that's more challenging for you than it is for others? in ~talk
Aran LinkThis is actually kinda related to a video game as well! So I’ve completed every high end raiding content released in Final Fantasy XIV since I started playing in 2020. A common callout when...This is actually kinda related to a video game as well! So I’ve completed every high end raiding content released in Final Fantasy XIV since I started playing in 2020. A common callout when indicating a direction to move towards is to say clockwise/counterclockwise, because it’s personal camera-facing agnostic. You could say “rotate left” and that could mean clockwise if facing the center of a circular arena, or it could mean counterclockwise if you’re facing outwards. And really, what direction a player aims their camera at is a personal choice; not everyone may be facing the same way as you. So CW/CCW is commonly used.
I cannot for the life of me tell you what direction a clock rotates in without pausing and sending my personal mental hamster on a wheel run to visualize it. I am old enough to read an analogue clock comfortably. But I react so much faster if my internal monologue says go left, go right.
It’s so bad!! Like in this one raid I’m helping some friends out in, I’ll call the starting safe spot and then the rotation after. In my head I think, Alpha-Left. My mouth at this point has memorized that Left means you say Counterclockwise, right means you say Clockwise, but the words just do not mean anything to me.
I do not know why my brain cannot parse this. It doesn’t really affect me negatively because if whoever is shotcalling says counter/clock, I just… solve the mechanic myself. And the internal hamster says left, right, over here, over there…
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Comment on What game are you terrible at? in ~games
Aran LinkI can't do anything PVP period. Bonus points for terrible-ness if it requires any sort of mouse coordination. I always knew I disliked League of Legends as a video game and played it purely as a...I can't do anything PVP period. Bonus points for terrible-ness if it requires any sort of mouse coordination. I always knew I disliked League of Legends as a video game and played it purely as a social activity with friends, but I didn't realize just how much more I enjoy PVE - I like working with people but I just can't make a game out of predicting another human being in opposition to me.
I also can't really do build-making in general... I like having the freedom to play as I wish, but making something actually effective is not my forte. This can span anywhere between Elden Ring and any roguelike because systems synergy is just a foreign concept to me. And it's a coin toss on whether I feel the game experience will be ruined if I just look up a build to copy. I know the Fire Emblems that I've played have felt hit or miss when it comes to discussing difficulty (and resulting enjoyment); I want to engage with the combat encounters and not the build setup aspect of say Awakening and Fates, even if that aspect is just as enjoyable to many FE enjoyers I know.
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Comment on Help selecting a mechanical keyboard in ~comp
Aran Link ParentGod that Epomaker board… I have been very out of the loop but have heard the brand is very dodgy and thus am not reallyyyy tempted to get one. But there’s a great hole in my heart for a nice...God that Epomaker board… I have been very out of the loop but have heard the brand is very dodgy and thus am not reallyyyy tempted to get one. But there’s a great hole in my heart for a nice wireless 40% with split spaces (heck I’ll even take a 60% with split spaces!!!).
I know there are a fair bit of options out there but my wallet weeps (that and I think my personal 40% layout preferences don’t mesh well with current popular trends in the space).
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran LinkThe strength and conditioning coach's last day was supposed to be today, but he messaged me Tuesday apologizing and saying his last day was actually going to be that day. Which is unfortunate...The strength and conditioning coach's last day was supposed to be today, but he messaged me Tuesday apologizing and saying his last day was actually going to be that day. Which is unfortunate because I did want to go back in this week to at least say bye in person (I had sent him a message on IG just in case his last day was before I returned from my trip last week). I may have caught something from the convention last week, as one does from a large gathering of people, so I was in various stages of unwell throughout this week.
My mood has been, again, very up and down... I'm a bit worried because I've been seriously slacking on both strength training and cardio (though I guess there was a fair bit of walking during the con). I'll see if I can put some time on the pull up bar at home this weekend.
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Comment on Final Fantasy XIV: Evercold | Teaser trailer in ~games
Aran Link Parentwarning, this is unhinged battle system update ranting. Ok so as background I started playing during the 2020 lockdowns. I really got into the high end raids at the end of Shadowbringers and have...warning, this is unhinged battle system update ranting.
Ok so as background I started playing during the 2020 lockdowns. I really got into the high end raids at the end of Shadowbringers and have completed every single "high end duty" released since, with every Savage tier being cleared W1 (W2 for exceptions like Abyssos, W2 for the last two tiers because our static disbanded and I opted to PF instead) and every EW+ ultimate cleared on-patch. I'm providing this context because there has been a huge divide between the endgame raiding community (which by itself consists of a HUGE spectrum in sweatiness level) and the casual playerbase. I exist staunchly in the former. I also am very aware that the high end raiding community is filled to the brim with players who do not realize that we are an extremely small percentage of the overall playerbase, with that percentage growing increasingly small once we start talking about higher levels of Ultimate progression.
I have been complaining about the 2 minute design since Abyssos, or mid-2022. I understand why it had to be done; I was far more casual when I did raid in Shadowbringers and didn't experience the full extent of the the divide between the most optimal job composition vs. the least optimal job composition, but I don't think it takes much imagination. Meeting a DPS check with minimal gear at the start of the raid tier is, IMO, just as valid a part of sweaty raid progression, which means the raid designers need to design a DPS check that can be cleared by all jobs, but that also places a lot of importance on making sure those jobs are all balanced... which is not a simple task because the very design of those jobs and how they dish out DPS is fundamentally different. You see this in ultimates often, where say, Reaper can do very poorly in phases with many periods of boss downtime (ie. periods where you cannot actively attack the boss) because their job design from the ground up relies on hit boss -> generate resources -> use resources. Or people saying FRU was too easy (and it was pretty easy from a mechanical standpoint) when they happened to have an unnerfed Pictomancer on their party that made DPS checks a joke, which also meant they could get through phases with damage downs/deaths. And some of the changes they've made to the battle system be inclusive of all jobs have had some consequences that just remove small areas of player skill expression... whether it's doubling the range of party buffs, doubling the range of healing skills, limiting the amount of mechanics that are going off during 2 minute windows. I could go on a whole extended rant on the 2 minute burst job design, like actually, but I am trying to keep that soapboxing to a minimum.
And that's even before I start talking about the design of the jobs themselves! I don't play Gunbreaker anymore, there just isn't a point when GNB's DPS looks good only when you're hitting a dummy, compared to the sheer lack of effort you need to put in on WAR/PLD/DRK. I'm actually a huge modern PLD design hater and I can extrapolate but really, nobody asked (yet) so... anyways. In their general quest for allowing all jobs to stay as close to possible to each other they have tunneled into a very similar loop for every single job no matter how unique they are: press many buttons in a 20 second window every 2 minutes when buffs are up, and press minimal buttons until the next 60s / 120s window. And they have designed a lot of these jobs into a corner - look at how the vast majority of 90->100 really just added a single extra OGCD or GCD.
Since DT release I've been really wanting them to look at adjusting the DPS rotations to increase damage done outside of burst. Right now with how important the burst phase is compared to the off-burst phases, on top of how mechanically simple the off-burst phase is, you just don't see a big enough divide between players who are on top of their shit vs. players who can't press anything more complicated than a 123 combo while executing mechanics. That's not me flaming people based on skill level; that's me wanting the encounter design and job design to challenge us to go from "flailing to do mechanics while DPSing" to "performing mechanics while DPSing". That's progression!
So I'm... a little optimistic about the announcement regarding the "evolved" playstyle, because at the very least it is a recognition of the fact that it's very difficult to have unique jobs with unique playstyles with raiding balance in mind. Shifting away from the 2 minute burst window philosophy is a required step even if it is not a perfect one (because buff alignment is also another avenue for group skill expression AND unique job identity).
Ok so i went on this whole nonsense rant about my opinion on job design. I will now step back and note that genuinely very little of this even matters to the vast majority of the playerbase, including more casual or "midcore" Ultimate raiders. I cleared TOP on patch with players who were in absolutely no place to complain about the raid design or damage variance and honestly, the loudest TOP complainers I had to listen to personally were players who just weren't interested in sweating a bit harder and preferred to blame the design instead. I don't think the developers should be paying attention to people like me OR them when the fact remains that what we have suffices for 99% of players. Heck, I feel a little weird about how much I ranted above because I really do recognize that I'm in a minority and the things I have issues with are so miniscule in the grand scheme of things.
Anyways.
I would like Shadowbringers Summoner design back, and Kaiten, and 90 second GNB Bloodfest. Thank you!
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Comment on Final Fantasy XIV: Evercold | Teaser trailer in ~games
Aran LinkI’m at Fanfest! I am so so tired! That’s all! i have commentary on the announcements made so far but i don’t think i’ll have time to sit down and write them out until i get homeI’m at Fanfest! I am so so tired! That’s all!
i have commentary on the announcements made so far but i don’t think i’ll have time to sit down and write them out until i get home
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran Link ParentAudiobooks are a conundrum for me. Recently I've had difficulty enjoying music and have preferred listening to video essays or talks in a similar educational-ish, entertainment space. I don't...Audiobooks are a conundrum for me. Recently I've had difficulty enjoying music and have preferred listening to video essays or talks in a similar educational-ish, entertainment space. I don't absorb most of it, and most of the time if I'm listening to such a video while out and about, it's purely for noise. I've only attempted to listen to an audiobook once (Jennette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died) and just couldn't get into it. I'm afraid to give audiobooks the same treatment as my background noise videos, where I'll inevitably zone out and miss something...
...that being said, a book about running sounds interesting (in that I would not typically read something like it myself) so I think I'll give it a try... Even after a few months of trying None To Run's recommended regimen, while I knew I absolutely was improving, every little running period just felt like such a struggle where I have nothing occupying my head other than that struggle. It feels easy to try and get my gloves back up when I'm gassed during muay thai but with running it's just, ughhhh I don't wanna get back into that again...
I'm really looking forward to feeling more in control of how I handle the sparring in muay thai! Particularly when it was super light and slow sparring with much taller dudes - I was just slowly trial-and-erroring how to close distance and get a shot in when my reach is, well, rather pitiful and it's just a nice little sidestep to avoid my flailing. As someone who just never participated in sports outside of compulsory school activities... this is actually the first time I got to do something like this for a physical activity and it's really fun!
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Comment on Do I need dating apps? (same-sex, a bit of ace) in ~life
Aran (edited )Link ParentHaha, I will admit that the "holy land of blue" was a bit tongue in cheek but also naive (especially if I don't really actively discuss queer topics myself so how the heck would I know what it's...Haha, I will admit that the "holy land of blue" was a bit tongue in cheek but also naive (especially if I don't really actively discuss queer topics myself so how the heck would I know what it's like). I'm in northern CA but not in the Bay Area (which I feel might narrow down a specific city, but that could be naivete again on my part!).
FWIW living the vast majority of my life specifically in Los Angeles and within very liberal circles growing up means... I may take the "blueness" very much for granted. I think part of it was a few discussions in my online circles on ideal states to relocate to for our trans friends and CA seems to win out for a bunch of reasons (size, number of urban spaces all across the state vs. having to choose between like three cities max, etc). Other than that I don't mean to, uh, give any undue credit so to speak to CA :')
edit: Ok just out of curiosity I went to Wikipedia to look at population density (I know LA is a bit tough because if I'm not mistaken, actual "Los Angeles" the city is kind of ginormous compared to say, San Francisco). Anyways, TIL Sacramento is ranked 6th in CA for population but when my frame of reference is LA... hmm, yeah, "decent-sized" is fair I think. Population and density is also peanuts compared to Chicago!
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Comment on Do I need dating apps? (same-sex, a bit of ace) in ~life
Aran Link ParentI really appreciate your thoughts on "how to find my people"! I post on the weekly fitness thread here about my muay thai classes and generally enjoying the gym I go to. It's small enough that...I really appreciate your thoughts on "how to find my people"! I post on the weekly fitness thread here about my muay thai classes and generally enjoying the gym I go to. It's small enough that they know who I am and they see and note the progress I make even if I don't talk much. But part of me also knows that this is definitely not where I'd "find my people" - there's a thin veneer of conservatism that I'm not sure if I can describe properly... that is, I don't know their opinions on certain topics without being explicitly told, but it's a place where I feel welcome as long as I'm 90% of myself and not 100%, you know?
I've been looking at this roller derby thing because I know absolutely nothing about it. Looked into the league in my city and this honestly seems like a good lead to look into since their site mentions a need for volunteers for various things that they'll train for. Thank you!
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Comment on Tildes Gardening Group: Week 13/4/26 in ~hobbies
Aran LinkFriends for general "look what I got" / "look what happened to my poor children..." vibes, but otherwise it's just for me! The herbs I've planted are theoretically useful to me, but I just like...Who shares in the your gardening outcomes? Friends/family, or is it more personal?
Friends for general "look what I got" / "look what happened to my poor children..." vibes, but otherwise it's just for me! The herbs I've planted are theoretically useful to me, but I just like seeing the progression of growth.
What if your motivation to garden? Is it the reward at the end, the journey or something else?
Oh I guess that's answered by the above... purely the journey, though I suppose my real reward would be getting a better sense of cultivating plants if I ever can upgrade from a set of small planters on an apartment balcony to a backyard garden.
Anyways, it was rather stormy (for California lmao, probably peanuts anywhere else) since my last update and the small separate plastic container I had with mystery seeds that I had placed on the lip of one planter, fell over and squished one of my bunches of cilantro. They do seem... fine, as in alive!?
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran Link ParentI was inspired to show up to muay thai on Friday after my Wednesday experience (too tired by the end to hold up pads). And then Saturday. I write this as I sip on my unhealthy Starbucks drink...I was inspired to show up to muay thai on Friday after my Wednesday experience (too tired by the end to hold up pads). And then Saturday. I write this as I sip on my unhealthy Starbucks drink after said Saturday session (I can't resist a free birthday drink, come on).
I do feel extremely blessed to have started this, even if I'm going to be physically struggling for a long time until my body is more conditioned. So the Friday and Saturday sessions are actually more sparring focused and I talked to the owner on Friday about whether I could just come in and hit the bags in the back. He said it was perfectly fine for me to participate (or just hit the bags if I really wanted to), and that the sparring is something I'd need to start eventually. Note that I'm really really new (he knows this)! And I still feel awkward about being a spindly 4'10" woman when most of the folks that show up are much taller and thickly built men who have been training here for longer. But after both sessions I realize that everyone who's been here a while genuinely do subscribe to the philosophy that these sparring sessions are not actual fights to be won. Yeah, some of the dudes who mutually agree to going a bit harder can do that, but there's a lot more control and finesse involved than putting real force into the blows. And of course all my partners were chill with meeting me at my level (and draining stamina...). Fortunately I do not harbor any ill will to the men who were very much holding back on speed and power because I am under no delusion that I can take those hits right now!
Anyways, I am typing this out before I head back out to work a bit on my cardio. I dislike running but I really want to show up half a year from now without being gassed after 30 minutes.
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Comment on Do I need dating apps? (same-sex, a bit of ace) in ~life
Aran Link ParentIt's been a few days of light mulling over since my original post and I can definitely say that... it isn't quite anxiety about being attracted to someone with XYZ traits (because if I'm being...You need to stop being anxious about even the idea of being attracted to a trans woman (or non-binary person or whatever else is making you anxious.)and socializing will help, therapy may help.
It's been a few days of light mulling over since my original post and I can definitely say that... it isn't quite anxiety about being attracted to someone with XYZ traits (because if I'm being real, the thought of even being attracted to anyone feels like the real hurdle LOL). Socializing and a bit of education will definitely help because this anxiety, I think, definitely stems from ignorance. Discussing queer topics genuinely just is not something that I have done outside of places like Tildes or with some very specific people in my life.
I'm fortunate that I'm in a decently sized city in what I assume is the holy land of blue amongst US states so I have a few leads on community events or spaces to go to that aren't bars/food related. Hopefully I can report back several months from now as someone much more comfortable with - insert vague handwaving - all this. Thank you!
I misread your comment as "I mostly read horror, SO I started Demon Coppherhead..." and was confused that East of Eden was somehow horror adjacent.
I know nothing about Demon Copperhead but I've been slowly going through all of Steinbeck's big classics that I never quite got through in high school. Maybe a reminder for me to start East of Eden?