Aran's recent activity
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Comment on The death of punctuation in ~humanities.languages
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Comment on The death of punctuation in ~humanities.languages
Aran Linkjust speaking for myself Like many my age (31), my formative years included much, much time spent online interacting with strangers. Perhaps because it was simply part of the culture at the time,...just speaking for myself
Like many my age (31), my formative years included much, much time spent online interacting with strangers. Perhaps because it was simply part of the culture at the time, because I would type at age 10 on the Neopets forums as I do now on Tildes (though hopefully I'm much more coherent and less naive than I was at 10). I know some users here have brought up the... culture here as reminiscent of old internet boards and forums. I know that part of the draw of Reddit for me over, say, Tumblr or Instagram, was the same. Not that I need a 500 word statement on every little thing, and admittedly I don't think I've ever had an attention span that could handle some of the more... engaged? debates you might see here. But something like, say, witty Tumblr responses with all lower case, zero punctuation, sarcasm and irony cranked up to max - those just don't feel right to me. That's what I associate "not punctuating their sentences anymore".
And of course, I said "culture" but that's not all encompassing of the internet. Over time it just became simpler to speak without punctuation, particularly in video games. Heck, when I was maybe in my early 20s I'd talk to my friends about how I would deliberately disable auto-capitalization on smartphones because I wanted to be able to control that. There were times where full punctuation, dotted i's, crossed t's, were their own form of conveying seriousness and tone. And there were times when I genuinely wanted my messages to be read less seriously. When I think of how I might joke with some friends in person or verbally in a voice call, if I had to transcribe that dialogue without any additional side text on how the text would be read... sometimes it would just be all lowercase, no punctuation / minimal punctuation.
This might be completely different from what you were thinking when opening this thread because I admittedly don't have any thumb on the pulse of modern human interaction. As I write this I realize - hmm, is it possible you're even thinking of the way people may speak verbally without coherent, natural "stops"? Where do you observe these trends? I don't know! But I'd have this conversation with some friends when we'd reminisce on how much we've all changed regarding how we communicate with others online.
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Comment on Posts vs. comments. Where do you fall and why? in ~tech
Aran LinkI do both but am not sure if I lean particularly one way or the other! To me it seems a bit natural with the way Tildes' design decision of placing the comment box for a top-level comment at the...I do both but am not sure if I lean particularly one way or the other! To me it seems a bit natural with the way Tildes' design decision of placing the comment box for a top-level comment at the very bottom of the page, to encourage reading what has already been posted. If at the end I feel I actually have something to say that hasn't been said - or in cases of those "what have you been playing/listening to/etc." threads - bam, top-level comment. And if I don't, well, maybe I just don't. If I encounter a comment that I feel I can either contribute to or say something more than just a cursory vote, I'll comment. Even if that comment could have had enough meat in it to be its own top-level comment, I really don't mind riffing off someone else's.
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Comment on Post breakup ramblings in ~life
Aran Link ParentI will say that the resentment was prior to a few talks we've had since. I truly didn't understand why she said I'd be happier with someone else - because at the time I thought she was talking...I will say that the resentment was prior to a few talks we've had since. I truly didn't understand why she said I'd be happier with someone else - because at the time I thought she was talking about how she couldn't reciprocate in certain things or show more affirmations of her feelings, or how I was struggling to meet her expectations. Because I didn't care about what she couldn't return that someone else wired differently potentially could, and I really did want to struggle to meet those expectations if it meant a life with her.
And yes after much talking and reflection I understand, and the resentment isn't there anymore. It helps if I remember that this isn't just something lacking on my part - if the holding of expectations meant I just am not compatible with her then... yeah, that's normal. Even if we still have the capacity to be really close friends - she still needs to reflect on her own side of things. Whether that's reflecting on holding expectations like that of a partner, or whether that just means those expectations are part of her own newfound list of needs from a partner, or anything else.
I think I prefer to minimize dwelling on that phrase still, because thinking about "who else comes along" opens up its own can of distress.
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Comment on Post breakup ramblings in ~life
Aran Link ParentYou are right, and I think yes, I mean that I'm mourning the loss of what I thought we had - a future. It does help to think about possibly someone being compatible in different ways. I know, I...You are right, and I think yes, I mean that I'm mourning the loss of what I thought we had - a future.
It does help to think about possibly someone being compatible in different ways. I know, I know I'm focusing so hard right now on how I went for 30 years of my life (well... a bit earlier than that when I realized I kind of liked this person) without meeting that person. I know I'm not alone in that regard either. I just wish I could stop worrying about the numbers game aspect.
Talking helps a lot, and writing posts here and reading responses help a lot too. I had a lot of trouble sleeping even though my body physically really needed it. I want to go on a walk for the sake of my lower back but when I think of the mental energy I need to muster to go on these walks, I feel so tired again. And I can't just nap because napping, the quiet space is a really difficult place to be in right now. I'm talking to my manager in a few hours about a bit of this but really I just want to ease back into work. Last week I had two entire days off and it helped but it was... different; I still mostly thought I had a chance. But man, Wednesday was like an entire day of technically being at work but barely being there. Trying to get ahead of that so while I'm still not really working today, I won't regret tossing tomorrow out the window.
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Comment on Post breakup ramblings in ~life
Aran Link ParentWe’ve been talking a lot more and I believe her now regarding this. I really did talk to her differently back when we were just friends, then long distance partners. I still had issues...We’ve been talking a lot more and I believe her now regarding this.
I really did talk to her differently back when we were just friends, then long distance partners. I still had issues communicating certain things but I was happy talking to her as myself with minimal filter. And because she was the only one asking me to change things - how I present myself to her coworkers (more confidence, more inviting!), how I do chores around the house (she knew I lived with a family that did not ask me to do any household chores… ever), how to plan out grocery trips. Instead of adding these to my current behavior I just rewrote from scratch.
Particularly regarding social behavior and small talk - I know one evening I was invited for a dinner and axe throwing with her coworkers to celebrate a month’s worth of birthdays. I thought I did okay! But later that night she said the way I carried conversation with one of her coworkers, who I had met the first time, wasn’t inviting to continue - they were like, polite question, answer, stop.
The angry-upset part of me about all this still exists, though smaller. It wants me to say, I understand all these problems now! Can we not try to fix them and salvage the relationship?
If she were a different kind of person, maybe. But she’s always been a very independent person. Friends and family to lean on but she never needed a romantic relationship (or any committed long term relationship, forget the romance). Not saying it was easy for her to do this though my self-pity also says it will be easier for her to get over the guilt and regret of how she communicated her wants, compared to how I will get over… losing a rock in my life. But she really did mean what she said.
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Comment on Post breakup ramblings in ~life
Aran (edited )Link ParentI appreciate the concern and I think this is part of why I struggled to write some of this. I'm writing into the void but I also yearn to be understood, yet I don't want to go into further detail...I appreciate the concern and I think this is part of why I struggled to write some of this. I'm writing into the void but I also yearn to be understood, yet I don't want to go into further detail about the specifics of what kind of people we both are. I'm not saying we're oh-so-special, but part of why I feel I can't just find someone else to take her place is because our desires just don't mesh well with standard expectations of what a romantic relationship is. Like I would have been happy with a platonic life-partner and I know those exist, but... I know, statistically it just isn't how most humans are wired.
She also was the one who had wanted this initially yes. Mine was the kneejerk reaction that I could absolutely not go back to what we were before. She even was okay with me continuing to sleep on her bed. I have an Ikea daybed in my room that was partly for decoy purposes in case her family ever visited (we are both women and her family is not aware, they are extremely conservative). Also supposed to be for the instance that something like this happened - well, not a full on breakup but if ever things got heated where we needed time apart. And see, I know exactly how that sounds - exes sharing a bed? That's a real recipe for disaster. I thought so too. I know that's in the past tense but I don't mean that I think it's acceptable - honestly I'm just thinking about my lower back because eesh these Ikea mattresses are horrid. Apologies for rambling. The point is that... yes, and I hurt her because I reacted extremely poorly. Am not saying that the poor reaction was uncalled for either given circumstances. But prior to that she thought, given our history, we could take as long as we needed to go back to what we were.
I also don't know if it makes it any better that we were really close friends for almost 4 years before I asked her out. If anything our experiences together as friends are longer than our experiences together as partners. Yes, those experiences we had as partners will hurt a lot to think about because they're so powerful. But I also feel really strongly about our years as close friends, too.
edit after a night of sleep: She prefers her time with me as a close friend. Or even when we were long distance. She prefers it because I was a more free person then. I was just so happy to physically be near her and the happiness of other things - moving out of a toxic household, having my car to myself, the beautiful greenery of this area - it was easy to miss how I wasn’t doing the best for myself on other personal levels.
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Comment on Post breakup ramblings in ~life
Aran Link ParentIt hurt to learn that it wasn’t space she needed. I had already been working on clingyness and had been happy doing things for myself without her. But I also just didn’t talk to her on my own...It hurt to learn that it wasn’t space she needed. I had already been working on clingyness and had been happy doing things for myself without her. But I also just didn’t talk to her on my own about those things. I didn’t speak freely because I was scared and holding up a report card asking if the grade was passing. But that’s no way to act around your significant other.
I will try the meditation.
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Comment on Post breakup ramblings in ~life
Aran LinkI really need to sleep. I haven’t slept since getting up yesterday morning. I wasn’t able to draft a reply to everyone before she got back home and we could talk again. I made her cry a lot. I...I really need to sleep. I haven’t slept since getting up yesterday morning. I wasn’t able to draft a reply to everyone before she got back home and we could talk again.
I made her cry a lot. I struggled to talk freely with her because of her expectations (she takes full responsibility on the expectations being unfair or at least, it just isn’t likely for such drastic ones to resolve neatly). I was able to talk freely to her in the aftermath and she cried saying that this was what she had wanted this entire time. I’m sorry that it was too late and I needed this drastic end to get my act together.
I talked to her about some of the fears I mentioned in comments. I don’t want to move out, I love both our cats (her cat is one I took off an old high school classmate’s hands, a stray found back in socal, that - with her blessing! - I accepted and brought with me on the move up here). I love this area but I’m afraid because I have no in person friends outside of her here, and the thought of getting really ill on my own or something of that nature terrifies me. And thinking about finding a new roommate with my social anxiety is… well, anxiety inducing.
We both want to stay friends. She needs me to be honest about how much time and space I need for us to slowly start getting there. I know I haven’t had a great track record of speaking freely but I really really think I can to make this work. Knowing the person she is, I don’t feel restless that she will be the one who can’t accept going back to friends. That is on me. It is sad but I do feel a bit of agency again regarding moving forward.
We talked about some other inevitable realities. What happens when either of us find a new partner? What if we need to move out with said partner? Who knows? It hurts to think about right now but I would rather deal with that in who knows how long down the line, than throw everything out.
I love her so much, my favorite person in the world, but please don’t worry for me that I can’t get over her when I say that. The last five years were the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I have so many insecurities with my life and worth but I really feel it with a dead certainty, I can live with this.
Thank you all so much for reading and offering any thoughts. I don’t know if I can reply to each and every one but I have and will read them all. Thank you.
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Comment on Post breakup ramblings in ~life
Aran Link Parentthank you and I have been sharing with people throughout the day. Insecurity is my middle name and I know part of why it feels easier to shoot this off into the void is because I just don't think...thank you and I have been sharing with people throughout the day. Insecurity is my middle name and I know part of why it feels easier to shoot this off into the void is because I just don't think people care about me enough for me to ask for their ear or comfort. and she herself has told me that that isn't true and I'm sure it isn't true, the fact that my friends have been extremely supportive shows it isn't true, but part of me just feels guilty because I am the exact kind of person who just doesn't keep up with relationships. it's stuff you see written about from time to time on Tildes actually, musings on adult friendships and keeping those things up, you know the deal.
Your words on fundamental incompatibility hurt a lot (in a good way, promise). It's been several hours since I first wrote the post and I've had one conversation with her for an hour and half, went out to lunch with a friend (actually her coworker, I really don't know anyone in this area that wasn't introduced to me by her) to talk about it, talked to a bunch of different friends, and of course have read all the comments on this thread. There are moments when I'm talking to a friend about it and I genuinely feel I could be "over" it, right at that moment. But then I read that incompatibility is a thing and it just... makes me cry all over again. Like I want to live the rest of my life with her because I feel that the combination of what I need, what she is, and what we've been through together is just not something I can find easily, or ever again. There are so many things that she describes that she realized she needs in a relationship and I think I absolutely agree, I want those things too, it's just that some aspects are more difficult in execution and like you said, maybe it's wrong to insist that we stay in a relationship while those things are worked on...
I'm a lot more disjointed in the typing of this message, sorry. I think musings on the incompatibility and changing oneself to meet the needs of an SO, poked at some tender spots. Because she keeps saying I can find someone better and that I need to stop this all-or-nothing thinking that I absolutely will not find someone period. But at this point even if I were to go out of my way to seek someone - IDK, I don't feel like I am bringing my best self to the table, I just got dumped because of it, do I really go through a period of self improvement for the express purpose of finding someone else who meets my needs and whose needs I meet? And thus I am left looking at the terrifying void of... I was really happy envisioning us here, and now there is nothing there.
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Comment on Post breakup ramblings in ~life
Aran Link ParentI appreciate how delicately you have put all this and yeah, coming back in a month would be... not great! Actually this is why my initial reaction was a lot worse than she expected. I know exactly...Ultimately, what she means with all the “you’ll be happier with someone who accepts you as you are” and “you’d be better with someone else” stuff is that she no longer wants to be with you. That’s why you can’t convince her that you don’t want to be with someone else, you want to be with her: because she knows, and the real issue at hand is that she doesn’t want that.
I appreciate how delicately you have put all this and yeah, coming back in a month would be... not great!
Actually this is why my initial reaction was a lot worse than she expected. I know exactly what this all means. I was upset because she insisted that those words, exactly, were what she meant, and I wanted her to be honest and stop using these words. And of course knowing exactly that the reason didn't really matter, that if she wants to end this, that is what is going to happen no matter how I feel about it. I still tried anyways because I knew if I didn't try, that regret would haunt me forever. It already felt like a miracle that she agreed to trying this relationship out in the first place.
All that to say - I hear you, and I really appreciate that you would hit this internet stranger with the cold hard truth when you could just read and walk away. I know the truth and I'm just somewhere in bargaining when I think about the words she said, but emotionally I'm somewhere in depression and hopefully hitting acceptance regarding some things.
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Comment on Post breakup ramblings in ~life
Aran Link ParentThank you so much for your thoughts When I said it was a first world problem I partially meant that in conjunction with living situation not being an issue. When I told some of my friends their...Thank you so much for your thoughts
When I said it was a first world problem I partially meant that in conjunction with living situation not being an issue. When I told some of my friends their first reaction was making sure I wasn't homeless. And that reminded me of a post on Tildes recently from a regular poster having a difficult time treading water financially... I know I know, don't compare my own issues with others'.
Speaking of financials though, I am currently terrified. Again, I am financially fine with enough savings. My job is extremely understanding and I can take days off to take care of myself. Objectively I earn a lot when compared to the majority of Americans, but I'm in California. I'm terrified of either of us moving out. I can "afford" to, but my mental health was already so improved by this apartment unit and I'm terrified of what change will look like. I really hated living with family in Socal; we were on the upper floor, awful insulation, and until I spent a few hundred dollars one summer for a window unit to be directly installed in my window, summers were truly miserable for me. It gets much hotter where I moved to, but the insulation is good and there is central air. The living room would stay at 76F (where our AC threshold was) at 90F outside while our neighbors would be cranking on their AC as low as 75 outside. I could afford to pay for this place on my own but a 2 bed is excessive even if I could use one bedroom for work as I work full remote. It feels a little... odd to worry about something like money when an entire future I yearned for was just wiped out, but staying here on my own would put me in that terrifying place where so many people currently live in - not enough of a safety net between rent, utilities, and food costs to feel secure when an accident occurs.
It's hard to think back on what we covered in discussions regarding this. On the initial break up she really felt we could break things off amicably then and there and continue being friends. She didn't anticipate that what came across as a blindside to me would invoke anger that I have never directed her way before. And last night when we did have a much calmer discussion, I said I did not think I could go back to the way things were and that I'd need to look for a place to move out to. Why the fuck did I say that? I'm dying right now remembering it. And I told her this morning repeatedly that I regretted that as soon as I sat in my bedroom and talked to what friends were awake, but she was rightfully hurt and I'm afraid she doesn't believe me when I say I really want to go back to when we were close friends
I hear you on looking at the things I can do now without another person's feelings and needs. I don't think that switch is simple for me because to me, the biggest thing she wanted me to change was being able to socialize. I've been a little coddled from my two jobs where the environment has been chill enough where, because I deliver results, I can be a little unprofessional (small things - I don't have to have my camera on even with some interdepartmental meetings... I don't have to get up and speak or lead a meeting...) and not have my social anxiety ruffled. I just can't do small talk. But not having to try really hard to get my social / networking game up to par is... well, it's something I wouldn't have to do because I don't have to consider what she wants, but that is something I know deeply that I need to work on.
I know I've flip flopped a lot on how I could cautiously ask how she felt about us working out in the future. A future where there's no more tension because there are no needs of a partner to try to fulfill, where both of us have potentially grown so that our current woes are challenges we have already overcome. But because of things I've said while lashing out I don't even know what being friends looks like right now. That is - she knows we absolutely can get back to where we were as friends, but it's in contention on whether we can do that while splitting rent. At this point I really have accepted that there is no going back to a relationship and I am hoping that my pushing is not too much so that I don't have to uproot my life over this.
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Comment on Post breakup ramblings in ~life
Aran Link ParentThank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. I was a lot more upset about the aroace bit earlier than I am now as I type this. All of what you say - whether she needs the time and space,...Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. I was a lot more upset about the aroace bit earlier than I am now as I type this. All of what you say - whether she needs the time and space, whether she felt guilt or anxiety, etc... I know these are all true things, they are regular things that happen to folks figuring out their relationships... and I was upset because the possibility of both of us being on that spectrum were something we talked about. And a difficult conversation that we already have had was me misunderstanding how she felt. I already posted a few times in the past on Tildes about asexuality and I have a lot of mental baggage regarding incompatibilities and expectations. So when I discovered I was closer to the demi side of things than being sex-repulsed as I had thought from previous experiences, and when she also said she really enjoyed the physical acts... I guess I held onto those too tightly. Or she didn't realize herself how she'd feel about it after months of living together. The upset comes from me thinking... we had that conversation already, we adjusted, and I don't want anyone to think that I'm being deprived of something just because I enjoyed it.
I typed all that out just to get it off my chest but really, I do understand that there's nothing to be said when it comes to how she feels she needs to navigate those things.
I already feel a bit more stable after reading everyone's comments so far, so really, thank you
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Post breakup ramblings
It is past 5 AM as I write this and I am unable to sleep. She initially brought it up last weekend, right after a date night with fancy dinner and concert. I reacted very, very badly. I got no...
It is past 5 AM as I write this and I am unable to sleep.
She initially brought it up last weekend, right after a date night with fancy dinner and concert. I reacted very, very badly. I got no sleep that night and the next morning we continued the discussion which ended with, let’s try to make this work and check in on our feelings in a week.
We couldn’t really talk throughout the week because her long time friends were getting married this weekend and she was one of the groomsmen. One of the issues she had with our relationship was my codependency on her - not the first time this quality has been observed by her. Part of what I had hoped sparked another chance was talking about all the things I have actively been doing to break free of that. And that aside, it seemed correct to allow her to participate in the wedding plans without worrying about personal life drama.
Check in finally comes Sunday night and I hear what I had feared to hear. I am much better with my reaction this time. I still don’t understand the final (to her) reason why she thinks this won’t work out. For context this is her first romantic relationship. This is not my first but my previous ones were… I’ll just say that I just said yes to suitors even though I didn’t have strong feelings for them. For both of us we were unsure of a lot of things - sexuality, romance, all that, and it was something we’d both find out together. When she came to the conclusion that she is somewhere on the aroace side of the spectrum, I was okay with that. (I think a year ago I posted on Tildes talking about my experience as someone on the ace spectrum.) Her final conclusion is that she feels I could do better with a partner that accepts me for who I already am and can also show it better. I can’t convince her that wanting me to be more confident in myself isn’t changing me, that I don’t need all these things people expect in most relationships. I’m still a little upset that she mentioned the friends’ wedding vows and how she felt she could never give that to me. I don’t see why she thinks my happiness will be greater, because I am telling her that I would be content to just do things with her that current society typically only associates with couples - buying a house, chores, cooking for two. (I know roommates exist and they participate in such things sans maybe purchasing property. but I guess I want the long term feeling of safety over uncertainty.)
Pause: I believe that she doesn’t need a reason at all to end things. I can be upset and bargain but at the end of the day if she feels we will both be happier this way, that’s that. The door is open regardless.
Recognizing that, I still just feel… empty. I moved across the state to move into a new apartment with her. My only friends/aquaintances here are through her. My friend groups are all online, though I did reconnect with some high school friends after over a decade of not keeping touch. But I’m not close enough to most of those online friends to even talk about this to, hence typing it out into the internet void.
I also resent this claim that someone else can make me happier. I’m not saying there aren’t other fish in the sea, but I had never been in the market for fish. This was someone I met online 5+ years ago who I vibed really well with, who I asked out because I didn’t want this to end. It typically ends when they find a romantic partner or another person to talk to who currently shares the same fixation as them at a point in time. I’m not going to go out of my way to find someone who can fit that very particular mold. I already have plenty anxiety as it is because my mold feels alienated enough from society’s expectations of what a long term committed relationship should look like.
I don’t know why I can’t just sleep. I’m fortunate that living situation is not an issue. This is such a first world problem. It is almost 7 AM now and I’ll be getting up to feed the cats and tell her on her way out to pilates that I’d like for us to continue discussing when she’s back, which I hope she is open to.
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Comment on What silly complaints would your pets try to report? in ~life.pets
Aran Link ParentTWO CHURUS in a sitting is insane. After moving away from my family I had to cut that cat crack because my cat internalized a daily churu feeding schedule (thanks grandma).TWO CHURUS in a sitting is insane. After moving away from my family I had to cut that cat crack because my cat internalized a daily churu feeding schedule (thanks grandma).
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
Aran Link ParentNot gonna lie, despite enjoying the first game, I'm only 8 hours into this sequel because I cannot deal with the ramp up period. It's... an ambitious game in that you see obvious Animal Crossing...Not gonna lie, despite enjoying the first game, I'm only 8 hours into this sequel because I cannot deal with the ramp up period. It's... an ambitious game in that you see obvious Animal Crossing inspiration to create customization options that didn't exist in the first game (island terraforming, arranging villager homes), and a ridiculous amount of time is spent breezing you through all this stuff while the very simple story nudges you along. I don't even know when I'm allowed to just stop and do what I see as the real Fantasy Life gameplay loop - grinding out the various jobs as materials necessitate. Maybe the 3DS game was identical in how it paced the "main story" but I certainly don't remember it taking so long for the game to say, okay, go, be free!
Funnily enough this game is known in my personal circle as the Final Fantasy XIV job simulator, because crafting and gathering work the same way: you start leveling one crafter, say a carpenter, and it's simple enough to just go out and chop down trees as a botanist/woodsman that you can then use as materials for crafting. But then you start needing mined minerals or monster loot for your carpenter crafts, so now you go level up the miner or your combat job, and on and on the wheel spins. It isn't for everyone but that chill grind really itches something for me.
I should just keep barreling through the story because I know it's not amazing and not the selling point of the franchise... but 8 hours and counting is insane. That feels longer than even a JRPG to take off.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
Aran LinkFriends started up a temporary Project Zomboid server (temp as in, we tend to burn through a game for a few weeks and then interest peters out quickly - so the expectation here is for the server...Friends started up a temporary Project Zomboid server (temp as in, we tend to burn through a game for a few weeks and then interest peters out quickly - so the expectation here is for the server to only last a few weeks). I only played the tutorial before then, so I was pretty lost with all the menus and context actions. So I tried to see how playing solo on the Steam Deck would be.
I think the controls are a little wonky and I'm too lazy to look up how to get to every menu option without the touch screen. But I can interact with things and touch screen as needed, whatever.
And not going to lie, the "regular experience" of this game is fascinating but not something I can probably deal with long term. So after going through some solo files where I'd die anywhere between 2 hours and 9 days, I decided that actually I want to turn this into a horrible Stardew Valley, remove all zombies and crank up any and all settings that help living a chill life as the last person on earth. Which is kind of how I play solo Minecraft sometimes, where I'm not interested in actually building things, but just walking in random directions and eating what I find on the way...
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
Aran Link ParentGod, I hated the dream portions of AI. The nonsense dream logic and wasted time redoing segments meant I ended up looking up solutions towards the end of the game, especially as they ramp up in...God, I hated the dream portions of AI. The nonsense dream logic and wasted time redoing segments meant I ended up looking up solutions towards the end of the game, especially as they ramp up in outrageous dream logic...ness. I feel like one could look up the dream segment solutions for the entirety of the game and not lose out on the experience at all (other than maybe some immersion - some were pretty cool environments).
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Comment on May 2025 Backlog Burner: Week 3 Discussion in ~games
Aran (edited )LinkOh gosh, it's already week 3???? I played a single hour of Erenshor and two hours of DREDGE. Which is a meager amount of time, but such is life. I did get a Steam Deck in (pleasantly surprised as...Oh gosh, it's already week 3????
I played a single hour of Erenshor and two hours of DREDGE. Which is a meager amount of time, but such is life. I did get a Steam Deck in (pleasantly surprised as I thought it would never suit my small baby hands; I only bought it because my partner bought a Switch 2) which is what let me put some time into Dredge.
Erenshor was definitely... way too ambitious to put on a backlog burner list. Everquest is before my time, but of course I've heard legends of the days of og MMOs and adventure games in general - interacting with NPCs with keywords and whatnot. I invited a sim to my party, ventured into the nearby cave filled with bandits, got them killed, and they sent a salty message about getting them killed and running away, before leaving the party. Nice! Anyways, I really want to put time into this because I adore ambitious small/solo dev team projects and I can totally relate to the... chill vibes of progressing through clunky MMO systems without dealing with People. Maybe I'll see how bad the text scaling is on the Deck. It just is the kind of game where I know I need to spend some time with to really get hooked, but it's fighting for my attention span alongside a bunch of other games I'd like to play...
I really adore the aesthetics of games like Dredge and Untitled Goose Game. What do you even call that? (Gemini says stylized low-poly art style. Neat) Fishing minigames has ever been my weakness in games that offer it. I haven't actually taken my chances on fishing at night (though discovering that these rocks are magically conjured up when I'm PRETTY SURE they didn't exist before, was neat) but I do like the way the game sort of leads you on here - settle for the pennies of fishing close to home in daylight with chill music, or venture out at night to put a few more bucks in your pocket? I heard the game is also not really that scary - just perhaps a bit atmospheric/unsettling - so we'll see. I'll be sure to play in my partner's room with the lights turned up just in case anyways :P The game also comes with the upside of being pretty perfect for Steam Deck play, and I'm finding that portable games are the easiest for me to get through...
I shouldn't even count Project Zomboid. I did the 5 minute tutorial, then went to my friends and said "hey yalls I did the tutorial, when are we playing together???" And that will probably be a June/July activity assuming the game goes on sale soon :)
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Comment on Kingdom Hearts Missing Link is cancelled in ~games
Aran Link ParentDid KHUX really have a good story? If it did, it was for me marred by the typical trappings of what I, a non-gacha player, associate with these games - a system that promotes round the clock play,...Did KHUX really have a good story? If it did, it was for me marred by the typical trappings of what I, a non-gacha player, associate with these games - a system that promotes round the clock play, content that grows increasingly difficult to keep up with without putting a significant amount of money in, and a plethora of "free to play" enthusiasts who are really just converting an insane amount of time to make up for not putting coins into the machine. I played from around launch (April 2016) to November of that year and "only" spent $100 across 5-6 months. But it wasn't the money that made me quit and swear off gachas; it was realizing that I was spending 15 bucks for every limited time pull event, getting unlucky, and struggling to complete some later events, which made me... really unhappy.
I completely checked out of KHUX so I don't know how feasible it was to consume this story over the course of its service lifetime or how difficult it was to keep up as a very very casual player. Maybe they changed it after I quit. And note that I'm not saying I should be able to consume this content for free. But "good story" told over the course of years in a game that was frankly not balanced to be friendly to nonspenders/casuals is... well, that's a shitty medium at best.
I noted I'm not a gacha player and while I know Genshin Impact really made its mark in that space, I know nothing about it. The only other "gacha" game I played was Maplestory circa 2016-2019. Same shit - content that requires either a large amount of money (not a small amount - a LOT) or a large amount of time spent grinding to even begin to keep up. The upside was that one could sell most of their gear via outside markets; I walked away with maybe 4k USD, where 2.5k of it was a single item.
I'm saying this because I don't want to play the unethical/immoral card with gacha systems, which I've willingly participated in myself. I've played with a lot of people who spent far above their means in Maplestory, mostly not even just to meet the bare minimum requirements but for virtual clout.
My point is, do you think that we're playing the same game as people who spend a small fraction of what we've spent on our respective games? Maybe FEH was balanced better in that regard and you can educate me on that, but to say (insert gacha game) had positive qualities and were absolutely worth playing, while being in the upper brackets paying customer, seems a bit oblivious to what playing the game feels like as a lesser paying player. KHUX really was the worst possible example where you got absolutely no content out of paying, just made it much more palatable to complete content.
I don't even have an issue with paying for my games; I've apparently paid nearly 1k USD purely on subscription time for FF14 over the last five years. It depresses me a little when people talk about subscriptions like it's a crime to be charging money for the service of keeping up an MMO, especially when same MMO is pretty damn good at not capitalizing on FOMO. Then they turn around and play gacha games and happily pronounce that they're free to play / pay minimally without disclosing just how many dailies they're cycling through, on multiple games. I have some friends who will cancel plans because they need to finish their dailies. That's not a fault of the game, that's purely on my friends, but it's difficult to say that that model - a system that incentivizes paying to get out of inconvenience - makes for a game worth playing for the casual who just wants to follow along with a story that they've followed since 2002.
maybe that's why I got into the habit of sending many short messages making up a broader "transaction" from my end because I think periods = multiple sentences in a message, and that comes across as too serious
so for the most part my messages in texting situations are written like this, where I don't want to add a period and the period is effectively the end of a particular text
sorry to my friends who will never read this but if you are the type to have phone notifications on for discord DMs, please let me know if this is bothering you because I really can try to do this less depending on who im messaging