Aran's recent activity
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (February 2026) in ~health.mental
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Comment on What are you working through? in ~life
Aran Link Parentadding one more short-term thing as another comment, especially since I spent most of today on this and will continue to be spending many future weeks on it Working on living alone! Unpacking,...adding one more short-term thing as another comment, especially since I spent most of today on this and will continue to be spending many future weeks on it
Working on living alone! Unpacking, cleaning, grocery shopping, meal prepping… I’m actually glad I’ve gotten used to this in the last few months, especially when ex was out of town for a few days during holidays or when she got sick and I had to take over all chores until she recovered. I’m trying really hard to incorporate “take one thing that doesn’t belong in the current room before leaving it” into my chores and it helps me feel a lot less overwhelmed. I still have a lot left to go, a bunch of Ikea furniture to build, but I have my meals sorted for at least Wednesday and a fresh uncluttered work desk for tomorrow morning (soon to be cluttered as that is just how I am, but that’s for later).
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Comment on What are you working through? in ~life
Aran Link ParentI suppose one motivation is fear of stagnating - I already feel bad that I haven't really upskilled as much as I did pre-pandemic. Even if I objectively have improved my skills in this space since...My therapist asks what else motivates me about the shift other than money - I'd pose the same question to you. What drives you to go that way?
I suppose one motivation is fear of stagnating - I already feel bad that I haven't really upskilled as much as I did pre-pandemic. Even if I objectively have improved my skills in this space since I started my current position 3 years ago, I can't help but think... someone hungrier could have pushed much harder. You nailed it when you described it as being comfortable but not satisfied. The wolf isn't at my door like it was back when I was a lot more driven; I remember it enough to want the shift, but don't feel it enough to put in the time like I used to.
Relationship existentialism is what I called it when I moved on from one and had to negotiate with the fact that I miss the comforts of being in a relationship, but that I don't want that relationship again
Yes, I definitely feel seen and heard here! I know I'm restless because I want the comforts (again not the "being in love" part necessarily - it just is easier to tackle things with someone else than solo). But I know I don't want to "settle" either. And as sad as I still am about the way my relationship ended, I will admit that I've obtained a lot of food for thought when it comes to what I'd like to bring and receive in a relationship.
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Comment on What are you working through? in ~life
Aran LinkLately I've been thinking about what my ideal future-me even looks like, because focusing on that is helping me carry on with current things. Career-wise... I'm a systems analyst trying to slowly...Lately I've been thinking about what my ideal future-me even looks like, because focusing on that is helping me carry on with current things.
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Career-wise... I'm a systems analyst trying to slowly move into software dev (currently my work is more business analyst/Salesforce low code dev things) but I don't even have strong feelings about "working in tech"; I just want Money (read: not struggle financially as my parents and grandparents did) doing work that I am qualified to do. The struggle here is... well, other than general uncertainty with the field, particularly in the entry level / junior side of the field, I don't exactly have that dog in me to break in, and I don't have the motivation to continue moving up with what I already have either. I'm not describing this very well but I think that's part of why I consider this to be a bit perplexing if I can't even define the issue lmao
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Relationship things. I'm working on being able to deal with life things solo right now. But my brain keeps straying to wanting to be in a far future where I'm comfortable with myself to be in a relationship again. And the conflict comes in because I've never gone out of my way to seek a relationship before, but I'm worried that not doing so will just mean I never find one. Like it's common advice to focus on being happy with yourself, don't be afraid of being single, etc etc... the best way I can describe it is, I'm not afraid of being single; I've been very happy with being single prior to my last relationship, but I also really want to have the things I had during the relationship again. And I'm not saying that I can't be happy without a partner, but there are things I want that are much easier with a partner (a home, a shitton of cats, idk).
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran LinkThis is week 5! I think by month 3 I might talk to the coaches for thoughts on starting the muay thai classes - or maybe I'll wait for month 4? It feels a lot more dependent on what my post-move...This is week 5! I think by month 3 I might talk to the coaches for thoughts on starting the muay thai classes - or maybe I'll wait for month 4? It feels a lot more dependent on what my post-move schedule looks like (read: whether my willpower can handle showing up consistently when I'm not splitting household responsibilities lol).
I have a harder time remembering the names of the exercises we do in the Monday sessions since they aren't written down on the board... here are the ones I do remember:
- Scissor kicks, flutter kicks. These kicked my ass and I will be adding them to the regular at-home exercises
- A lot of resistance band walking
I got a $50 mountain bike from FB marketplace! Seller said it belonged to his now-college aged son when he was in his teens. Getting into biking has been in my mind for a bit, because my new apartment is close to a few places I'd like to go to regularly that feel a waste to drive to (<5 min drive) that are too far to walk to, especially if I'm hauling anything at all (laptop/textbooks for library, groceries from the nearby Mexican market). There's also bike trails on both sides of the river nearby, but I'm less interested in biking for exercise - perhaps that might change? And of course, I didn't really want to spend money on something "good" because I tend to fall into that sort of Reddit-new-hobby consumerist trap often: research what I need to get into a new activity, overthink getting best return for my money, etc. well before I even know if I can get into that new activity on the regular. So... I wanted cheap and used in good condition, that I won't be too upset about if I end up not biking at all, or if it got stolen.
The helmet I got for it costs more than the bike itself :)
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (February 2026) in ~health.mental
Aran LinkI was just listening to this video from Midwest Magic Cleaning titled "Using Cleaning to Treat Autistic Depression". I have very little reason to believe that I am autistic or even anywhere close...I was just listening to this video from Midwest Magic Cleaning titled "Using Cleaning to Treat Autistic Depression". I have very little reason to believe that I am autistic or even anywhere close enough to even tentatively say "maaaaybe I'm somewhere on the spectrum". But one moment at around 28 minutes in really hit me when he talks about being able to articulate his thoughts when other folks unfortunately struggle due to their condition
I don't think I mentioned it to anyone I've talked to about my breakup, but prior to her breaking things off, I struggled with a whole slew of things under the umbrella of communication. I cry easily, I can't keep eye contact especially if I'm trying to not cry, and I'm sitting there struggling to even create sentences when I feel like the emotions just have way too many different attack angles to condense into words. And I'd get pushed to just say what I'm thinking, which I'd try to do, which ended up not even truly capturing the entire picture of what I'm thinking/feeling. I'm told to be more mindful in what I say verbally and through text and then rebuffed for taking too long to say things. Heck, even now I'm aware that this paragraph isn't written in a way that I'm happy with; I'm not trying to make it look like my ex was antagonistic in any way, and honestly I'm not happy with thinking that I, personally, need special accomodations (emphasis on I, not trying to say this is how I feel about anyone else who struggles with similar issues).
Anyways, lately I've been seriously considering recording audio/video diaries to myself. I'm currently trying to keep a written diary which I haven't done regularly since middle school, though I've always written things to myself maybe once or twice a year (the last one I found was actually me writing about my ex agreeing to date me :')). It didn't ever occur to me to try and speak the words - probably because I'm really self-conscious about it even if I'm the only one hearing it - but this issue I have with really articulating my thoughts is starting to come up more often, even if they're in very low stakes conversations, and I'd like to get better at it even if it's through a bit of rote memorization and drilling.
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Comment on Steam Hardware: Launch timing and other FAQs in ~games
Aran Link ParentWhat makes it worse for me is that the Nintendo face buttons are completely flipped! I didn’t grow up with the Nintendo controls but I never had an Xbox controller, so when PC games present me...What makes it worse for me is that the Nintendo face buttons are completely flipped! I didn’t grow up with the Nintendo controls but I never had an Xbox controller, so when PC games present me with only Xbox button prompts I get so confused…….
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Comment on Do you have your invite request email? Post it and let's find out what drives people to want to be a part of Tildes. in ~tildes
Aran LinkMine was pretty short. Email to Deimos, APIgate:Mine was pretty short. Email to Deimos, APIgate:
Hello! I'd like to request an invite to create an account for Tildes (RIP RIF). Thank you!
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran Link Parentwoops I forgot to hit enter last night... Went in on Monday, and the workout was same as the previous Monday's. I'm going to try and reserve my Mondays going forward because I really do enjoy the...woops I forgot to hit enter last night...
Went in on Monday, and the workout was same as the previous Monday's. I'm going to try and reserve my Mondays going forward because I really do enjoy the class pacing - more intense while not going too far to push anyone past their limit.
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Comment on What healthy habit has made a difference for you? in ~health
Aran LinkRegular walks, which led to trying to do regular runs, which eventually led to strength training! Just the regular walks was finally what seemed to lead to improving my lower back pain. From time...Regular walks, which led to trying to do regular runs, which eventually led to strength training! Just the regular walks was finally what seemed to lead to improving my lower back pain. From time to time before falling asleep, I'll just lie down and think about how I'm not in pain anymore. I'd be in a much worse mental spot right now if I had to deal with chronic pain on top of post-breakup things.
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran LinkLast update was Monday. I think I would have been good to go in by Thursday but I've been trying to get some walking and jumprope in on off days, and I might have been a little too into the...Last update was Monday. I think I would have been good to go in by Thursday but I've been trying to get some walking and jumprope in on off days, and I might have been a little too into the jumprope on Wednesday that killed my calves
Very chill for today so I stayed to do a few more sets than the recommended 5 sets:
- 10x pushups
- 10x hammer curls
- 10x alternating box jump
- 10x box jump
I did tell the coach that I wanted to slowly work towards being able to do pull ups. Back in the day my family had one of those doorway pull up bars installed and I was never consistent enough with it to really work on my grip strength, let alone being able to pull myself up from a dead hang. So he had me just... hold onto the bar in a dead hang, and work on being able to actually hold onto it for 30 seconds before slowly moving on to the next step. I remember being able to hang from a bar for that long but today I could basically only do 6-7 seconds max...
I'm lowkey thinking about adding a pull up bar to my list of purchases for after my move in a few weeks.
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Comment on What's something you've moved on from? in ~talk
Aran Link ParentOh this is me… except I still have a hoard of switches and small parts that I want to use to get back into building again when I can muster the time, energy, and desire… When it comes to buying...Oh this is me… except I still have a hoard of switches and small parts that I want to use to get back into building again when I can muster the time, energy, and desire…
When it comes to buying complete kits or more “complete” parts (like a standard 60% pcb and case) though? That is definitely behind me. If I put together something now, it’ll be a kit I bought pre-pandemic, or a handwire held together with cardboard.
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Comment on Tildes Minecraft Weekly in ~games
Aran LinkI'm not sure why I just seem to have strings of connection issues (internet itself seems to be fine - at least, roommate is streaming in the other room and I'm not aware of any hiccups) from time...I'm not sure why I just seem to have strings of connection issues (internet itself seems to be fine - at least, roommate is streaming in the other room and I'm not aware of any hiccups) from time to time. Maybe it's just the server telling me that I should in fact go to sleep early today...
Anyways, my adventures can be summed up as... I am STILL wishy-washy on where I want to "settle", or even what this build would look like (realistically I'll just steal a design off Youtube or something). And while I am wishing and washing I just Stardew Valley it up with a very slowly growing and also very hideous villager
jailtrading hall, animal pens that are just holes in the ground, and the very occasional foray into some hole in the ground. You know, the same stuff I have been doing in Minecraft since 2015 (minus the villager stuff but you know what I mean).I do need to look at where my nether portal puts me on the map relative to town and look at what transit can look like, because I want to see what others have built without the 5-10 min commute!
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran Link ParentMonday update! I was told a different coach runs the Monday sessions and that his classes focus more on mobility. What I didn't know was that he does run it like an actual class, unlike the...Monday update! I was told a different coach runs the Monday sessions and that his classes focus more on mobility. What I didn't know was that he does run it like an actual class, unlike the Tues-Friday sessions, so a full hour-ish of directed warmup and workout exercises.
I don't remember the names of the warmups but they took up the bulk of class time... lots of nerve glide stuff
Today's actual workout which ended up being like a tiny fraction of class time:
- 12x wall bounce
- 8x Bulgarian split squats both sides; did not use weights because I was WEAK
- 15x kettlebell swings
- 15x each of calf raises and toe raises
Recommended 4x sets; the warmup portion took a bit longer than usual because a good chunk of us were new and needed some time for corrections, so the coach said to try to just aim for at least 2 sets (and stay longer if needed, even past the usual gym closing time). I went with 2 full sets and a third with half the repetitions just because I felt I could do more... but not THAT much more.
The calorie thing is not too bad so far, at least on the gym days! I just have a breakfast in the morning, then a small semi-lunch at 3-4pm, and gym at 6. I come home and I am absolutely famished so finishing a meal is not difficult at all.
As a side note, last week I had serious DOMs after the Wednesday workout and I ended up not being able to go back on Friday because my legs were just not having it! So I just tried to get some dumbbell curls in at home the rest of the week. They were good by Sunday.
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran Link ParentI am currently 85 pounds and 4'10" :') my strength training goals right now just amount to, "I would like to be able to carry my week's groceries without multiple trips to the car" and "I need a...I am currently 85 pounds and 4'10" :')
my strength training goals right now just amount to, "I would like to be able to carry my week's groceries without multiple trips to the car" and "I need a side activity that isn't just playing more video games"
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran Link ParentI'll try my best to answer but disclaimer, I have not "exercised" until very very recently and this is my first time specifically working on strength training vs., you know, just cardio! First,...I'll try my best to answer but disclaimer, I have not "exercised" until very very recently and this is my first time specifically working on strength training vs., you know, just cardio!
First, context: I'm going to a muay thai gym that happens to offer general (ie. not related to muay thai) strength and conditioning classes. They're not "classes" in the same sense as like, say, a Zumba or Pilates class where you show up for X minutes and do guided exercises as directed by an instructor. It's mostly self-directed where the coach who runs these classes will provide a suggested set of exercises for a particular day that he'll rotate every day of the week, but these are suggestions and you can do whatever you want really if you'd like. I'm currently going in 2x a week as that's just how my schedule works, but did obtain a kettlebell and some dumbbells to add at least one additional day at home.
So for yesterday there were:
4 sets of front heel raised dumbbell squats, 8 reps
4 sets of back heel raised dumbbell squats, 8 reps
4 sets of sumo squats with kettlebell, 10 reps
4 sets of Romanian deadlifts, 10 repsBut number of sets and reps are really up to the individual. So far I've just gone with the recommended number of reps/sets and they take me like a full 60 min when other folks who have been doing this for a while at this gym crank them out in 30 minutes (and then keep going). I'm 4'10" with noodle arms so uh... my current limitations are probably not a terribly useful reference!
I wish I could write down what we did for the previous two sessions but I actually do not remember the names of the exercises outside of kettlebell swings and hammer curls... but I'll probably write down future ones going forward!
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran Link2x a week strength training continues… Went yesterday and the day’s recommended exercises focused on lower body (glutes, hamstrings, quads… I had to google them, these terms were not part of my...2x a week strength training continues…
Went yesterday and the day’s recommended exercises focused on lower body (glutes, hamstrings, quads… I had to google them, these terms were not part of my vocab :)). The sumo squats destroyed me. It’s only the third session and I am having a lot of fun! Even if today is, as expected, a day of very sore legs.
I’m trying to keep track of my eating; random online calculator says I need 1500 on training days and I am definitely not used to eating past 1000-1200…
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Comment on Struggling in my relationship in ~life
Aran Link ParentChiming in also in the "dealing with my own heartbreak" crowd; I actually avoided reading the entirety of your updates just because my mind would wander to my own business. Really sorry you're...Chiming in also in the "dealing with my own heartbreak" crowd; I actually avoided reading the entirety of your updates just because my mind would wander to my own business. Really sorry you're going through this, and it's great that you say you see your path forward, as difficult as getting there will be.
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Comment on Help with 1bed, WFH apartment layout! in ~life.home_improvement
Aran Link ParentUnfortunately buying a whole new monitor is probably not in the cards for me! I'm definitely leaning on a USB hub or switch and manually swapping video input. I hear you, and I definitely am...Unfortunately buying a whole new monitor is probably not in the cards for me! I'm definitely leaning on a USB hub or switch and manually swapping video input.
I want to encourage you to maintain a decent WFH and comfy space separation though. You might not have issues with it now but the world is an ever changing space. My bedrooms are always screen free and I try to keep more comfortable stuff on that side.
I hear you, and I definitely am leaning towards having all screens out of the bedroom even if I can't imagine what I'd have in there outside of the bed and a reading chair (and even then I'd probably prefer to read in the living room?). It's hard for me to definitively say how much the separation helped me previously because... well, lots of things in my life are making me unhappy currently, right? How big of a drop that my current lack of work/play/sleep separation is in the great bucket of unhappiness is hard to gauge.
I am rambling but yes, whether I consolidate the gaming and work setups or not, I'm thinking I'll find a way to keep them out of the bedroom!
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Comment on Help with 1bed, WFH apartment layout! in ~life.home_improvement
Aran Link ParentI adore Cliff and have been going through his stuff again while brainstorming ideas! It would be neat if I could get advice from him but I assume he gets bombarded with that stuff...I adore Cliff and have been going through his stuff again while brainstorming ideas! It would be neat if I could get advice from him but I assume he gets bombarded with that stuff...
I'm glad it has been a boon to you! The channel has honestly been a pleasant gem from the algorithm. At first it was just general household cleaning tips (useful for me both then and now) but they've delved into musings on mental health now and then, understandable when keeping a clean and orderly home can be tied to said mental health.