Aran's recent activity
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran LinkMonday was fun; the entire class had been to these mobility-focused workouts a few times now so the coach ramped it up a bit in difficulty/intensity. As usual the warmup was a bit of jogging,...Monday was fun; the entire class had been to these mobility-focused workouts a few times now so the coach ramped it up a bit in difficulty/intensity. As usual the warmup was a bit of jogging, Frankenstein walking, lateral band walks (these still kill me).
We were introduced to Copenhagen planks - in fact we progressed through them in three stages! Started with knee on the bench, then foot, then foot with resistance band row. Was another point in favor of me possibly picking up a workout bench for my apartment (I don't have any other solid household item at the right height to use for these).
I have a few online obligations petering out soon so I might be talking to the coaches on coming in for more days (whether that's for trying a muay thai session or two every week on top of the strength training). My mental health has been really up and down lately and while the gym days are not a perfect panacea, they do help a lot.
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Comment on What have you been eating, drinking, and cooking? in ~food
Aran LinkI made sourdough!!! It looks really sad and flat and I honestly had no idea what I was doing therefore I can't even troubleshoot the lack of rising in the oven, but like... it tastes fine! I do...It looks really sad and flat and I honestly had no idea what I was doing therefore I can't even troubleshoot the lack of rising in the oven, but like... it tastes fine! I do need to find a nice schedule to bake these since I was definitely not exactly, uh, following all instructions to the letter when it came to amount of time spent proofing and resting and whatnot...
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Comment on Would anyone be interested in an online gardening club? in ~hobbies
Aran LinkIf my herbs survive my east facing balcony and black thumb, maybe I’ll post about them……. My previous gardening attempts have been limited to growing cat grass and catnip. The grass was fine; the...If my herbs survive my east facing balcony and black thumb, maybe I’ll post about them…….
My previous gardening attempts have been limited to growing cat grass and catnip. The grass was fine; the catnip grew like, maybe two inches from the soil and stayed like that for basically 3 months where I couldn’t tell if it was struggling or still growing…
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
Aran LinkWriting this because I am at the moment not doing okay, but I also know I will be okay in a bit (or a day, or a few, or weeks...) I've made a lot of headway in settling into the new apartment....Writing this because I am at the moment not doing okay, but I also know I will be okay in a bit (or a day, or a few, or weeks...)
I've made a lot of headway in settling into the new apartment. Some of it is definitely deferred work (unorganized boxes shoved into a closet, closet itself is a bit of a disaster) but it's nice to see less boxes stacked up. I finally opened up the two boxes for the Ikea Norden (recommended by user here when I asked for input on apartment layout) and will hopefully have some time to assemble that this weekend, because I've been living the r/malesurvivingspace life when it comes to eating dinner (on the rug, footstool as table). I am not accepting commentary at this time regarding the footstool being a dinner table!
The new apartment is a chill 7 minute walk to the river. The park is okay. I'm not a big fan of the times when other parkgoers are there to smoke weed (not saying they can't since it's a public space; it just means I get up and go somewhere else). Overall an acceptable sidegrade for lunchtime walks - much less car traffic, no leaf blowers to walk through once I do get to the walking trail at the river. No option for a guilty pleasure Starbucks on the way back but that's probably for the best lmao.
I freezer meal prepped enough for the week, and won't need to go grocery shopping this weekend to make the same amount of food next week. I do some light biking/walking during lunch hour. I'm doing the solo adult thing and it doesn't feel like a struggle to do them. I really do feel proud of small things like that because none of these were things I could do easily last year.
But I can't seem to get away from being set off into an ugly crying mess even on what seems to be the best days. I have been told over and over again that the whole grieving process will come and go in cycles and that over time it will feel better, and I'm sure the logical brain understands that (and that's the answer I'd give to friends or professionals) but in the meantime I will just... see, hear, or think certain things and somehow be led back to old memories or conversations and great, now I am just burning through tissue paper crying during work hours. I had to disable the stupid memories collection things that Apple/Google photos shoves at you because the next 8 months' worth of photos will be of my ex or her cat, who I also saw as our cat (stray I took in from my high school classmates' network that I sent to her ahead of my own move-in), but that doesn't disable me looking at the spring leaves growing back and remember conversations we had last year about that. Maybe Apple Maps will stop trying to route me to our old address any day now. I don't think I'm consciously dwelling on what is now a four month old breakup and I'm not consciously wondering what she's doing or how she's doing (we are still friends) and it feels like I'm "over it". I guess I'm "over it" in the sense that I don't miss her anymore, but I'm not really over it because now I'm just upset that despite objectively doing better for myself as an individual, I still felt much, much happier two years ago than I do now.
Anyways, a good 70% of all this is probably just hormones anyways. like clockwork at the turn of the month. I am sure it will pass in a few more days.
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran LinkHad an on-site day on Monday and it was not possible to get to the gym on time unless I skipped out on another obligation (have an ongoing 2-hour weekly "study together" accountability buddy...Had an on-site day on Monday and it was not possible to get to the gym on time unless I skipped out on another obligation (have an ongoing 2-hour weekly "study together" accountability buddy session on Monday evenings)... and the gym got the boot.
Was able to show up today! I thought the highlight of today was going to be the fact that I got to do my first exercise using a barbell (albeit with no weights, just a ~35 lb bar). Previously any exercises meant to be done with a barbell, the coach had me do with just dumbells or kettlebells. Alas, the actual highlight was me discovering that I just physically had a LOT of trouble executing on the single leg hip thrust... none of the exercises I've done so far have actually felt "wrong" to do, and certainly not impossible to do a single clean rep of, but this one got me. It might be my muscle imbalances being particularly prominent in this exercise? The Monday coach happened to be around and he had me try a bunch of little adjustments to see if I could get those hip thrusts, but eventually we had to go with a whole different standing exercise that would still target similar muscles in a way that I could actually, you know, do them.
Anyways today was:
Warmup:
- 20x inside outside leg swings, both legs
- 10x body weight squats
- 20x alternating side lunges
Workout:
- 3 sets of 6-8 barbell squats
- 3 sets of 8 Bulgarian split squats, both sides (still just bodyweight for me)
- 3 sets of 10 sumo squats
- 3 sets of 10 single leg hip thrusts, both sides (failed...)
- 1 set of 3 minute plank. I got to 1.5min (which I was surprised by; last time I measured I struggled to last 60 seconds) :')
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Comment on I need to talk to someone with social mobility experience, and I'm out of ideas in ~health.mental
Aran LinkAlso do not have advice because I think we're in similar boats, just chipping in amongst others here to say that I hear and feel your frustrations even if the folks you try to talk to in life do...Also do not have advice because I think we're in similar boats, just chipping in amongst others here to say that I hear and feel your frustrations even if the folks you try to talk to in life do not
One thing I am curious about though based on one of your responses: you mentioned talking about this with early retirees, folks bored at their lake house, etc. At this moment, how close to the moon are you trying to shoot for? Because to me, being able to retire at all in, say, the mid-60s (which may be considered "early" now but let's just say that's the ideal expected age) is already extremely lucky. I have a close friend who is doing well for himself and he worked very, very hard to get where he is... but his parents retired in their early 60s, because of a fat inheritance, and that inheritance is doing work for him now. I can't talk finances or social mobility with this friend because his financial woes might be having to sell the 4 million dollar home he grew up in. And yes, I did hear the "this isn't all rainbows and sunshine"-esque line too. I'm sure it's not, but let's be real lol - over the years I've known that the biggest reason it wasn't rainbows and sunshine was because of pure lifestyle creep and it's a blessing that they still have a significant amount of assets.
But my point is, I'm trying to achieve financial independence, which I suppose translates to social mobility, and I'm not trying to get to my friend's financial position. I've been thinking about the question of, "how do I make more money?" a lot lately because I'm no longer splitting costs with a SO, which makes me anxious about my finances even though on paper I am doing Okay in terms of savings and projected costs with my current lifestyle. You mention the occasional overdraft and that is already giving me secondhand anxiety through the roof - I don't know the full extent of your financial position and your income stream(s) and costs, but going straight to what I consider to be extremely well off folks seems to be skipping way too many stones along the way.
To end my own rambling... also agree with the other comments reinforcing how big of a deal Luck is. Hell, my current job was luck - my old boss poached me from our previous company and he only did that because I made good use of an opportunity at work that skyrocketed my value as an employee (which was Luck), and I only got THAT job because I interned with someone from a coding bootcamp who was impressed with my work ethic. I wouldn't be surprised if folks felt cagey about talking about "how did they get there" because it might feel weird to admit that they were lucky. At which point I'm reminded of the phrase, Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. It gives me some measure of motivation/consolation because we can't just change our positions in life with pure elbow grease and effort, but I do want to make sure I'm in a position to grab opportunities when they do arise.
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Comment on Writers who don't read books: a response in ~books
Aran Linkanecdote time, not meant to represent some subset of current or aspiring writers today I don't usually watch/listen to this channel but the title came up while I was looking for some background...anecdote time, not meant to represent some subset of current or aspiring writers today
I don't usually watch/listen to this channel but the title came up while I was looking for some background noise at the park, and... well, of course the title itself triggers something in many folks, but in my case it was because I had an internet friend who, nearly ten years ago, honest to goodness told me that he wasn't interested in reading. After asking for editing/proofreading advice for a rough draft for the first chapter of his novel. Where he wanted to make this whole writing thing an actual Career.
This will be getting a little toxic, but I won't beat around the bush: his writing was atrocious. Writers can bend grammar and sentence structure and all that boring stuff, but with this guy's writing you could tell it wasn't stylistic; he just did not know any better. Writing doesn't have to be good to exist in the world; I'm proud that he tried; but if you want my amateur opinion on whether other people would be interested in reading this in the current format of the written word? Well. It could use a lot of improvement, but this improvement would IMO require a lot of reading of other material because it was equal parts unfamiliarity with written English (as someone whose primary language is English) and storytelling in general. I suggested reading some short, low investment stories and he brushed it off because of lack of interest. My impression was that he wanted to write something that others would want to read, while he himself was above reading what others had written. It drove me a little nuts and this project did not last terribly long.
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran Link Parent2/25: It's been a while since I showed up for the more strength/lifting oriented sessions (that is, the non-Monday sessions)! Today was very legs/glutes focused: Warm-up: some amount of leg kicks...2/25: It's been a while since I showed up for the more strength/lifting oriented sessions (that is, the non-Monday sessions)! Today was very legs/glutes focused:
Warm-up:
- some amount of leg kicks
- 12x side lunges
- 10x squats
- 3 sets of 6x alternating lunges
Workout:
- 3 sets of 10x kickstand squats (the regulars used kettlebells for this, I am too weak)
- 3 sets of 10x sumo squats (!!)
- 3 sets of 10x Romanian deadlifts
- 20x jump squats
I've been trying to work towards being able to do pull-ups. The coach had me start with making sure I could hold a dead hang for 1 min (this was 2-3 weeks ago, I'd put a few attempts in after the scheduled workout). Today I did a few resistance band assisted pull-ups, which still kicked my ass.
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran Link Parent2/23 class: I don't remember the names of the exercises/movements again, but they were all small exercises that would lead up towards doing Turkish get-ups. I uh, am still very very weak and the...2/23 class: I don't remember the names of the exercises/movements again, but they were all small exercises that would lead up towards doing Turkish get-ups. I uh, am still very very weak and the coach said I can do it without the kettlebell (lightest kettlebell at the gym is 13lbs, send help).
There was one exercise that I actually just could not do all the reps for, similar to the weighted sumo squat but with a bit of rotation? And the sumo squat fucked me up back when I first did it several weeks back, so I think I'll need to add that to my home workouts more often...
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran LinkI have maintained my Monday gym classes but haven't been able to show up for the second visit of the week due to moving... I'm just putting in some dumbbell curls and the usual bodyweight...I have maintained my Monday gym classes but haven't been able to show up for the second visit of the week due to moving... I'm just putting in some dumbbell curls and the usual bodyweight exercises in the meantime.
Made my first bike trip yesterday! I'm glad that the physical location of my new apartment worked out the way I hoped - it's a short walk to the river, which has walking/bike trails. I went to a Middle Eastern (I do not know enough to narrow down more than that, Google Maps does not mention it) cafe down the street, which would have been an estimated 7 minute bike ride if I risked my carcass out on that very busy main street, but instead rode up towards the river and only rode on small residential streets for something like 20 minutes. Had a Turkish coffee which I've never had before, which was an experience and I'm looking forward to coming back!
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (February 2026) in ~health.mental
Aran Link ParentI'm glad it has been a boon to you! The channel has honestly been a pleasant gem from the algorithm. At first it was just general household cleaning tips (useful for me both then and now) but...I'm glad it has been a boon to you! The channel has honestly been a pleasant gem from the algorithm. At first it was just general household cleaning tips (useful for me both then and now) but they've delved into musings on mental health now and then, understandable when keeping a clean and orderly home can be tied to said mental health.
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Comment on What are you working through? in ~life
Aran Link Parentadding one more short-term thing as another comment, especially since I spent most of today on this and will continue to be spending many future weeks on it Working on living alone! Unpacking,...adding one more short-term thing as another comment, especially since I spent most of today on this and will continue to be spending many future weeks on it
Working on living alone! Unpacking, cleaning, grocery shopping, meal prepping… I’m actually glad I’ve gotten used to this in the last few months, especially when ex was out of town for a few days during holidays or when she got sick and I had to take over all chores until she recovered. I’m trying really hard to incorporate “take one thing that doesn’t belong in the current room before leaving it” into my chores and it helps me feel a lot less overwhelmed. I still have a lot left to go, a bunch of Ikea furniture to build, but I have my meals sorted for at least Wednesday and a fresh uncluttered work desk for tomorrow morning (soon to be cluttered as that is just how I am, but that’s for later).
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Comment on What are you working through? in ~life
Aran Link ParentI suppose one motivation is fear of stagnating - I already feel bad that I haven't really upskilled as much as I did pre-pandemic. Even if I objectively have improved my skills in this space since...My therapist asks what else motivates me about the shift other than money - I'd pose the same question to you. What drives you to go that way?
I suppose one motivation is fear of stagnating - I already feel bad that I haven't really upskilled as much as I did pre-pandemic. Even if I objectively have improved my skills in this space since I started my current position 3 years ago, I can't help but think... someone hungrier could have pushed much harder. You nailed it when you described it as being comfortable but not satisfied. The wolf isn't at my door like it was back when I was a lot more driven; I remember it enough to want the shift, but don't feel it enough to put in the time like I used to.
Relationship existentialism is what I called it when I moved on from one and had to negotiate with the fact that I miss the comforts of being in a relationship, but that I don't want that relationship again
Yes, I definitely feel seen and heard here! I know I'm restless because I want the comforts (again not the "being in love" part necessarily - it just is easier to tackle things with someone else than solo). But I know I don't want to "settle" either. And as sad as I still am about the way my relationship ended, I will admit that I've obtained a lot of food for thought when it comes to what I'd like to bring and receive in a relationship.
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Comment on What are you working through? in ~life
Aran LinkLately I've been thinking about what my ideal future-me even looks like, because focusing on that is helping me carry on with current things. Career-wise... I'm a systems analyst trying to slowly...Lately I've been thinking about what my ideal future-me even looks like, because focusing on that is helping me carry on with current things.
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Career-wise... I'm a systems analyst trying to slowly move into software dev (currently my work is more business analyst/Salesforce low code dev things) but I don't even have strong feelings about "working in tech"; I just want Money (read: not struggle financially as my parents and grandparents did) doing work that I am qualified to do. The struggle here is... well, other than general uncertainty with the field, particularly in the entry level / junior side of the field, I don't exactly have that dog in me to break in, and I don't have the motivation to continue moving up with what I already have either. I'm not describing this very well but I think that's part of why I consider this to be a bit perplexing if I can't even define the issue lmao
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Relationship things. I'm working on being able to deal with life things solo right now. But my brain keeps straying to wanting to be in a far future where I'm comfortable with myself to be in a relationship again. And the conflict comes in because I've never gone out of my way to seek a relationship before, but I'm worried that not doing so will just mean I never find one. Like it's common advice to focus on being happy with yourself, don't be afraid of being single, etc etc... the best way I can describe it is, I'm not afraid of being single; I've been very happy with being single prior to my last relationship, but I also really want to have the things I had during the relationship again. And I'm not saying that I can't be happy without a partner, but there are things I want that are much easier with a partner (a home, a shitton of cats, idk).
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran LinkThis is week 5! I think by month 3 I might talk to the coaches for thoughts on starting the muay thai classes - or maybe I'll wait for month 4? It feels a lot more dependent on what my post-move...This is week 5! I think by month 3 I might talk to the coaches for thoughts on starting the muay thai classes - or maybe I'll wait for month 4? It feels a lot more dependent on what my post-move schedule looks like (read: whether my willpower can handle showing up consistently when I'm not splitting household responsibilities lol).
I have a harder time remembering the names of the exercises we do in the Monday sessions since they aren't written down on the board... here are the ones I do remember:
- Scissor kicks, flutter kicks. These kicked my ass and I will be adding them to the regular at-home exercises
- A lot of resistance band walking
I got a $50 mountain bike from FB marketplace! Seller said it belonged to his now-college aged son when he was in his teens. Getting into biking has been in my mind for a bit, because my new apartment is close to a few places I'd like to go to regularly that feel a waste to drive to (<5 min drive) that are too far to walk to, especially if I'm hauling anything at all (laptop/textbooks for library, groceries from the nearby Mexican market). There's also bike trails on both sides of the river nearby, but I'm less interested in biking for exercise - perhaps that might change? And of course, I didn't really want to spend money on something "good" because I tend to fall into that sort of Reddit-new-hobby consumerist trap often: research what I need to get into a new activity, overthink getting best return for my money, etc. well before I even know if I can get into that new activity on the regular. So... I wanted cheap and used in good condition, that I won't be too upset about if I end up not biking at all, or if it got stolen.
The helmet I got for it costs more than the bike itself :)
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (February 2026) in ~health.mental
Aran LinkI was just listening to this video from Midwest Magic Cleaning titled "Using Cleaning to Treat Autistic Depression". I have very little reason to believe that I am autistic or even anywhere close...I was just listening to this video from Midwest Magic Cleaning titled "Using Cleaning to Treat Autistic Depression". I have very little reason to believe that I am autistic or even anywhere close enough to even tentatively say "maaaaybe I'm somewhere on the spectrum". But one moment at around 28 minutes in really hit me when he talks about being able to articulate his thoughts when other folks unfortunately struggle due to their condition
I don't think I mentioned it to anyone I've talked to about my breakup, but prior to her breaking things off, I struggled with a whole slew of things under the umbrella of communication. I cry easily, I can't keep eye contact especially if I'm trying to not cry, and I'm sitting there struggling to even create sentences when I feel like the emotions just have way too many different attack angles to condense into words. And I'd get pushed to just say what I'm thinking, which I'd try to do, which ended up not even truly capturing the entire picture of what I'm thinking/feeling. I'm told to be more mindful in what I say verbally and through text and then rebuffed for taking too long to say things. Heck, even now I'm aware that this paragraph isn't written in a way that I'm happy with; I'm not trying to make it look like my ex was antagonistic in any way, and honestly I'm not happy with thinking that I, personally, need special accomodations (emphasis on I, not trying to say this is how I feel about anyone else who struggles with similar issues).
Anyways, lately I've been seriously considering recording audio/video diaries to myself. I'm currently trying to keep a written diary which I haven't done regularly since middle school, though I've always written things to myself maybe once or twice a year (the last one I found was actually me writing about my ex agreeing to date me :')). It didn't ever occur to me to try and speak the words - probably because I'm really self-conscious about it even if I'm the only one hearing it - but this issue I have with really articulating my thoughts is starting to come up more often, even if they're in very low stakes conversations, and I'd like to get better at it even if it's through a bit of rote memorization and drilling.
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Comment on Steam Hardware: Launch timing and other FAQs in ~games
Aran Link ParentWhat makes it worse for me is that the Nintendo face buttons are completely flipped! I didn’t grow up with the Nintendo controls but I never had an Xbox controller, so when PC games present me...What makes it worse for me is that the Nintendo face buttons are completely flipped! I didn’t grow up with the Nintendo controls but I never had an Xbox controller, so when PC games present me with only Xbox button prompts I get so confused…….
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Comment on Do you have your invite request email? Post it and let's find out what drives people to want to be a part of Tildes. in ~tildes
Aran LinkMine was pretty short. Email to Deimos, APIgate:Mine was pretty short. Email to Deimos, APIgate:
Hello! I'd like to request an invite to create an account for Tildes (RIP RIF). Thank you!
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran Link Parentwoops I forgot to hit enter last night... Went in on Monday, and the workout was same as the previous Monday's. I'm going to try and reserve my Mondays going forward because I really do enjoy the...woops I forgot to hit enter last night...
Went in on Monday, and the workout was same as the previous Monday's. I'm going to try and reserve my Mondays going forward because I really do enjoy the class pacing - more intense while not going too far to push anyone past their limit.
Went in today for the usual strength training class:
Warmups, 2 sets of the following:
Workout:
And then I added on 4 sets of 5x resistance band assisted pull ups. I am still very very very far from being able to do one unassisted.
So I did end up talking to the usual Monday coach about adding the muay thai to my plan. Pleasantly surprised to realize that making time for it is actually not bad (stamina willing) because I can go straight from the strength training to the MT class, and in fact recognized some regulars at the strength classes who seemingly do the same thing. It'll give me something to do on Saturday morning too!