Aran's recent activity
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
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Comment on Do I need dating apps? (same-sex, a bit of ace) in ~life
Aran (edited )Link ParentHaha, I will admit that the "holy land of blue" was a bit tongue in cheek but also naive (especially if I don't really actively discuss queer topics myself so how the heck would I know what it's...Haha, I will admit that the "holy land of blue" was a bit tongue in cheek but also naive (especially if I don't really actively discuss queer topics myself so how the heck would I know what it's like). I'm in northern CA but not in the Bay Area (which I feel might narrow down a specific city, but that could be naivete again on my part!).
FWIW living the vast majority of my life specifically in Los Angeles and within very liberal circles growing up means... I may take the "blueness" very much for granted. I think part of it was a few discussions in my online circles on ideal states to relocate to for our trans friends and CA seems to win out for a bunch of reasons (size, number of urban spaces all across the state vs. having to choose between like three cities max, etc). Other than that I don't mean to, uh, give any undue credit so to speak to CA :')
edit: Ok just out of curiosity I went to Wikipedia to look at population density (I know LA is a bit tough because if I'm not mistaken, actual "Los Angeles" the city is kind of ginormous compared to say, San Francisco). Anyways, TIL Sacramento is ranked 6th in CA for population but when my frame of reference is LA... hmm, yeah, "decent-sized" is fair I think. Population and density is also peanuts compared to Chicago!
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Comment on Do I need dating apps? (same-sex, a bit of ace) in ~life
Aran Link ParentI really appreciate your thoughts on "how to find my people"! I post on the weekly fitness thread here about my muay thai classes and generally enjoying the gym I go to. It's small enough that...I really appreciate your thoughts on "how to find my people"! I post on the weekly fitness thread here about my muay thai classes and generally enjoying the gym I go to. It's small enough that they know who I am and they see and note the progress I make even if I don't talk much. But part of me also knows that this is definitely not where I'd "find my people" - there's a thin veneer of conservatism that I'm not sure if I can describe properly... that is, I don't know their opinions on certain topics without being explicitly told, but it's a place where I feel welcome as long as I'm 90% of myself and not 100%, you know?
I've been looking at this roller derby thing because I know absolutely nothing about it. Looked into the league in my city and this honestly seems like a good lead to look into since their site mentions a need for volunteers for various things that they'll train for. Thank you!
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Comment on Tildes Gardening Group: Week 13/4/26 in ~hobbies
Aran LinkFriends for general "look what I got" / "look what happened to my poor children..." vibes, but otherwise it's just for me! The herbs I've planted are theoretically useful to me, but I just like...Who shares in the your gardening outcomes? Friends/family, or is it more personal?
Friends for general "look what I got" / "look what happened to my poor children..." vibes, but otherwise it's just for me! The herbs I've planted are theoretically useful to me, but I just like seeing the progression of growth.
What if your motivation to garden? Is it the reward at the end, the journey or something else?
Oh I guess that's answered by the above... purely the journey, though I suppose my real reward would be getting a better sense of cultivating plants if I ever can upgrade from a set of small planters on an apartment balcony to a backyard garden.
Anyways, it was rather stormy (for California lmao, probably peanuts anywhere else) since my last update and the small separate plastic container I had with mystery seeds that I had placed on the lip of one planter, fell over and squished one of my bunches of cilantro. They do seem... fine, as in alive!?
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran Link ParentI was inspired to show up to muay thai on Friday after my Wednesday experience (too tired by the end to hold up pads). And then Saturday. I write this as I sip on my unhealthy Starbucks drink...I was inspired to show up to muay thai on Friday after my Wednesday experience (too tired by the end to hold up pads). And then Saturday. I write this as I sip on my unhealthy Starbucks drink after said Saturday session (I can't resist a free birthday drink, come on).
I do feel extremely blessed to have started this, even if I'm going to be physically struggling for a long time until my body is more conditioned. So the Friday and Saturday sessions are actually more sparring focused and I talked to the owner on Friday about whether I could just come in and hit the bags in the back. He said it was perfectly fine for me to participate (or just hit the bags if I really wanted to), and that the sparring is something I'd need to start eventually. Note that I'm really really new (he knows this)! And I still feel awkward about being a spindly 4'10" woman when most of the folks that show up are much taller and thickly built men who have been training here for longer. But after both sessions I realize that everyone who's been here a while genuinely do subscribe to the philosophy that these sparring sessions are not actual fights to be won. Yeah, some of the dudes who mutually agree to going a bit harder can do that, but there's a lot more control and finesse involved than putting real force into the blows. And of course all my partners were chill with meeting me at my level (and draining stamina...). Fortunately I do not harbor any ill will to the men who were very much holding back on speed and power because I am under no delusion that I can take those hits right now!
Anyways, I am typing this out before I head back out to work a bit on my cardio. I dislike running but I really want to show up half a year from now without being gassed after 30 minutes.
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Comment on Do I need dating apps? (same-sex, a bit of ace) in ~life
Aran Link ParentIt's been a few days of light mulling over since my original post and I can definitely say that... it isn't quite anxiety about being attracted to someone with XYZ traits (because if I'm being...You need to stop being anxious about even the idea of being attracted to a trans woman (or non-binary person or whatever else is making you anxious.)and socializing will help, therapy may help.
It's been a few days of light mulling over since my original post and I can definitely say that... it isn't quite anxiety about being attracted to someone with XYZ traits (because if I'm being real, the thought of even being attracted to anyone feels like the real hurdle LOL). Socializing and a bit of education will definitely help because this anxiety, I think, definitely stems from ignorance. Discussing queer topics genuinely just is not something that I have done outside of places like Tildes or with some very specific people in my life.
I'm fortunate that I'm in a decently sized city in what I assume is the holy land of blue amongst US states so I have a few leads on community events or spaces to go to that aren't bars/food related. Hopefully I can report back several months from now as someone much more comfortable with - insert vague handwaving - all this. Thank you!
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Comment on Do I need dating apps? (same-sex, a bit of ace) in ~life
Aran Link ParentI'm looking for some of these spaces now because what you and others have said about building those friendships rings true to me when I'm in a better headspace. I wrote in another comment that one...I'm looking for some of these spaces now because what you and others have said about building those friendships rings true to me when I'm in a better headspace. I wrote in another comment that one great fear I have is that I won't find someone who's compatible with me because I spent a decade happily single - not just because I preferred it, but because I just never met anyone who made me genuinely wish they weren't straight (and it was a very anxiety filled confession when I did get to it...). Now, seeking queer spaces (or queerer than usual spaces) without the intent of seeking a relationship would probably help with that, but as someone who's gone through a fair share of turning down men, I also greatly fear having an interest in someone but not even being compatible from the get-go - which is definitely a very common experience probably even from the hetero side of things, but I'm not sure how to navigate that "well" if that makes sense? My last approach was to really express how much I still wanted to be close friends with her even if she may not be interested and that it's okay if she needed to reevaluate the friendship, etc......
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Comment on Do I need dating apps? (same-sex, a bit of ace) in ~life
Aran Link Parent(I have a lot of drafted responses to other folks in this thread but this one was a bit more straightforward) No worries on the timing front - I was broken up with 6 months ago and I’m still a hot...(I have a lot of drafted responses to other folks in this thread but this one was a bit more straightforward)
No worries on the timing front - I was broken up with 6 months ago and I’m still a hot awful mess, and a romantic relationship is the farthest thing from my mind right now. A lot of this post was more to compile a reference for when I am in a better place. I appreciate the thoughts!
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Comment on Do I need dating apps? (same-sex, a bit of ace) in ~life
Aran Link ParentThank you for your perspective on this! This could have been its own topic to be honest; I have a lot of "I'm curious but afraid to ask" questions. And these questions aren't exclusive to trans...Thank you for your perspective on this!
You're not obligated to date trans women, of course, but this particular fear seems to rely on some misconceptions.
This could have been its own topic to be honest; I have a lot of "I'm curious but afraid to ask" questions. And these questions aren't exclusive to trans people; these are questions that stem from my own limited sexual experience - which if I exclude some unpleasant college experiences, is limited to only one partner, my last ex. You do bring up a great point that it most likely isn't an effective way of ensuring compatibility - that compatibility is something I do have some anxiety over, but you're right in that there's a whole lot of other factors even if I did narrow down preferences to cis women. In fact I can add, "what the hell does sex with other women that aren't my ex look like" into the big bucket of why I have these fears. (That, of course, is not a question I want or need answered today LOL, but it's good to place a better label on why I'm nervous about a future where I do seek a relationship)
I read both you and anyone else who has commented on not focusing on seeking a romantic relationship, especially if I identify as demi. Like - yes, I know I'm thinking these thoughts because of this anxiety and fear of never finding this person if I don't make an explicit effort to look for it. Part of that is because I was happily single for nearly a decade after my unpleasant experience at a younger age and I finally met someone whose company I genuinely enjoyed. I need to remember that part of the reason for that is because I was never big on going out and meeting new people or participating in new experiences where new people are involved.
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Do I need dating apps? (same-sex, a bit of ace)
I've been thinking on this for a while, and was inspired to ask about it while reading through the blackpill thread. I don't intend to actually look for a relationship for a while; it's been six...
I've been thinking on this for a while, and was inspired to ask about it while reading through the blackpill thread. I don't intend to actually look for a relationship for a while; it's been six months since the breakup, and my ex and I didn't agree to no-contact until two days ago, so I still have a long healing process to get through. But I have a lot of... dread? around not having a life partner forever, with the key factor being not having a close friend like my ex was pre-relationship. If I could emotionally and financially handle all life matters on my own that would be beautiful, but even just thinking about getting to the place I want to be financially while still maintaining a certain lifestyle is anxiety-inducing on its own. So again, even as I do not actively prepare to download any app and put myself out there, I'd like to take some notes as someone who has never used an app and whose previous relationships were by chance (classmates while in school, ex was from MMO).
For starters: I'm a cis woman, early 30s, and identify as lesbian, demisexual, demiromantic. I don't know where I am on the scale of conventional attractiveness. I'm extremely short and skinny. I've never really gone through the initial "dating" process (I knew my exes before getting in a relationship with them so we kind of jumped into being exclusive/"official").
The demi- bits mean a lot to me. I feel it makes sense to just seek spaces for activities that I enjoy and go on from there, but I feel like it's a difficult numbers game because statistically most people will be straight, right? And I don't think I exude any non-straight energy either, if that's even a thing. So this brings me to why I feel I inevitably will need to use dating apps - I fear the environment, I have never applied makeup on myself and couldn't tell you the difference between mascara and eyeliner without Googling, and the blackpill thread is filled with commentary on how these apps really cultivate a landscape with a focus on appearance. But simply being not-straight makes me feel I have to use an app for the basic filter of gender preference.
I don't see myself going to a gay bar (prefer not to drink). I can see some queer-friendly dating-focused events in my area that sound okay but I fear my issues with social performance will keep me away (I can perform for one person but the few events I see right now are speed-dating or casual mixers). Also some of them are hosted at wineries/pubs and I get that alcohol is normal, but I really don't like the vibe of bars themselves (too loud).
I also don't know if there are... things to "know" when trying to date as a lesbian? Like when folks talk about being masc/femme, those things don't really mean anything to me - I have male-dominated hobbies and don't wear feminine clothing, but to say that any bit of me says "masculine" in any way just doesn't seem right. I also honest to god do not know what expectations are regarding trans women. I can't write them off as I've never dated or been romantically interested in a trans woman, but I do fear that the... equipment, for lack of better phrase... might matter to me, and I don't want to offend too late? Is it transphobic to say I'd prefer to date cis women?
Apologies as I realize that this is definitely becoming more of a ramble on "how date, I've never dated strangers" and less on advice for use of dating apps specifically. But at the end of the day, yes, I feel that I will need to use dating apps but fear the experiences that I read about from using them.
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran LinkI made it to the pullup bar!!! Twice out of maybe 10 jumps! At least one jump was really shaky as I predicted last week, where I got a decent grip with one hand but not with the other. I do not...I made it to the pullup bar!!! Twice out of maybe 10 jumps! At least one jump was really shaky as I predicted last week, where I got a decent grip with one hand but not with the other. I do not joke when I say "and everybody clapped" because it's a small gym and everyone present had seen me doing my running jumps for the bar a few times over the last month. It was nice.
I'm also happy to report that I can very easily see the improvements in my strength! Sumo squats used to kill me even without the kettlebell weight, but yesterday I could get through the reps without failing towards the end. Yesterday's workout:
- 4 sets of 8x box squats, 35lb bar (I could definitely have added weight to this but I don't use barbells often - maybe next time)
- 3 sets of 10x goblet squats
- 3 sets of 10x sumo squats with kettlebell (I forget the weight but it's the second lightest available at the gym)
- 3 sets of 10x RDLS
I once again made the mistake of going straight from strength training to muay thai (excuse: lots of emotional things to deal with, I needed to tire myself out enough to shower, dinner, and KO asap). I thought the 10-15 minutes or so break inbetween was enough. I will say, it was good... up until I had to hold up the pads for a partner. Though in retrospect... strength training was very lower body focused today and my arms were just straight up giving out holding up the pads, so... yeah. My upper body and cardio need work...
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Comment on What's a battle that nobody knows you're fighting? in ~talk
Aran LinkI have a lot of anxiety around social performance. I see how group dynamics work when in a social gathering of several people (think 7+ maybe), where not everyone can realistically get a word in....I have a lot of anxiety around social performance. I see how group dynamics work when in a social gathering of several people (think 7+ maybe), where not everyone can realistically get a word in. Or perhaps we're seated at dinner and it just makes sense for conversations to be between 3-4 people seated together instead of yelling across to hold conversations. I see that as it becomes clear who is great at starting, receiving, and continuing conversations, that they have more conversation seemingly directed their way. I'm not great at asking questions and I'm not great at continuing conversations, ie. I respond when asked but either phrase the answer in a way that doesn't invite more conversation, or don't follow up with a question. And of course I'm not a "social" or even people person by any means, yet it feels so, so uncomfortable as groups settle and I'm left out permanently listening. I prefer listening, but in certain groups that just means being excluded entirely.
And to make it all worse this was a touchy topic between my ex and I before the breakup. I don't think I'll ever forget when she gave me pointers and rebuked me on specific things I said on our night out with her coworkers when I thought I was doing okay. And to her credit one of the reasons for the breakup was because she realized she couldn't stop wanting me to be a certain way and that it was not good for me to keep trying to meet these expectations. But the thing is, with this very specific situation - the topic of not feeling excluded and "fighting" for a seat at the table of social gatherings - I'm actively unhappy with times when I do fail that game and end up being the quiet passive participant. This happens in online Discord calls between acquaintances / friends-of-friends activities, too.
Anyways, I've been trying to talk about this with a few people, even to the point where I apologize that I'm not good at this whole socializing thing, and no one but my ex agrees that I'm not good at it. Maybe it's because it's rude to tell someone "yeah I agree, you suck". I really don't want to apologize to try and make people go easier on me with their judgment in this regard. I just don't want people to go home after interacting with me a few times at dinner and thinking that I'm not really interested in gatherings and don't need to be invited to the next one. Or maybe people don't realize I have such a big problem with larger groups? I really appreciate when folks who are much better at socializing notice this and key in on the fact that I'd love to participate, I just find it difficult to start, and will direct conversation my way.
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran LinkI'm so close to reaching the pull up bar (running jump)! Close enough where I think next week will be tricky, where I might have enough height to grab onto the bar but without expecting to and end...I'm so close to reaching the pull up bar (running jump)! Close enough where I think next week will be tricky, where I might have enough height to grab onto the bar but without expecting to and end up not holding on.......
Today's workout:
- 3 sets of 6x suitcase deadlift with kettlebells (except I misread the whiteboard, did 10 reps, and the coach cracked a joke about how I need to do 10 reps for all sets now... and I did it)
- 3 sets of 10x hammer curls + shoulder press
- 3 sets of 10x lateral raises (killed me, had to go to the wee 5lb dumbbells)
- 3 sets of 10x front raises (stayed on the 5lb dumbbells)
- 2 sets of 25x sit ups, 25x V situps, 40x Russian twists
I've been really slacking on attending a muay thai class (made up for by going in for strength training at least 3x a week, but still...). Part of it is me not going to the strength training early enough, feeling pretty strongly about finishing the posted exercises, then taking too long to go in for the 6 PM muay thai session... that, and the call of the pull up bar is strong.
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
Aran Linktoday was a lot of upper body work, pike pushups, blah blah blah This is unfortunately less fitness related... I'm getting the beginnings of iffy vibes about the gym I've been going to. Not going...today was a lot of upper body work, pike pushups, blah blah blah
This is unfortunately less fitness related... I'm getting the beginnings of iffy vibes about the gym I've been going to. Not going into details because I have no idea if they're true, but it's already weird enough that stuff like this was being casually discussed by one of the owners to another regular (not even in secrecy, I wasn't part of the conversation but we were all just chilling waiting for class to start). We'll see I guess!
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Comment on Tildes Gardening Group: Week 6/4/26 in ~hobbies
Aran LinkThe pictures I said I'd take, that I didn't upload... until now...! I'm a little sad because there was something growing out of that small container (forgot what I planted in it - probably mint...The pictures I said I'd take, that I didn't upload... until now...!
I'm a little sad because there was something growing out of that small container (forgot what I planted in it - probably mint seeds?) but it never grew past that initial tiny sprout, and it's gone now :(
Just realized the photos also show the extent of the sun that the plants get (taken around 930 AM). Still haven't gotten around to getting the mylar sheets.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
Aran Link ParentOh lord you have no idea how much this kicks the game down a few rungs in the great backlog... This was the sense I got for the game from my very brief (120 minutes according to Steam) playtime:...That means, go through the exact same dialogue again. And again. And again. And this isn't just button mashing through a bunch of text lines; sometimes there is enforced pacing, pauses and animations mixed in.
Oh lord you have no idea how much this kicks the game down a few rungs in the great backlog... This was the sense I got for the game from my very brief (120 minutes according to Steam) playtime: Unpolished as heck. Very stylish and cool but with things like how the dialogue is built (the enforced pacing) you can tell that they either didn't account for multiple attempts or, even worse, didn't care. AAAAAA
I still want to give it a fair shake, because demanding exceptional polish and thoughtful design from all my games means the games I play will skew towards those with money. I want to still reward a passion product!
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
Aran Link ParentI skimmed your post because this game is somewhere high up in the backlog and only because I received it as a gift and I didn't want to get... uhh, not spoilered necessarily because that doesn't...So my advice to anyone willing to try the game is, fill yourself with patience and survive the insufferable prison and beach town portions.
I skimmed your post because this game is somewhere high up in the backlog and only because I received it as a gift and I didn't want to get... uhh, not spoilered necessarily because that doesn't seem terribly relevant for this kind of game, but I did want to go in with minimal bias from outside opinions?
The prison is where I remember leaving off... the dialogue was driving me a little nuts. But I'll try to suffer through it if you say it's worth it!
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
Aran Link ParentAh, you've put in a lot more progress than I! I consider it a good day if I put in 30 minutes before bed but most days it's closer to 10 or 0. I hear you on the gamification aspects - in a way...Ah, you've put in a lot more progress than I! I consider it a good day if I put in 30 minutes before bed but most days it's closer to 10 or 0. I hear you on the gamification aspects - in a way it's similar to Duolingo (which I used briefly to supplement my summer class three years ago) where I know that if a lot of the challenges weren't fill in the blank where the options themselves guide you to the correct answer, I'd struggle to actually answer. I'm trying to address that by speaking what I'd expect the fill-in-the-blank answer to be out loud, before seeing the options presented, which works fine for now since they're such simple sentences and therefore only one way for a beginner to really say them. I'm also trying to make it a point to fully read out the sentences even if the game highlights what it really wants - like say, when it presents a sentence but highlights that it just wants the pronunciation of (insert kanji for dog). I was naturally just typing out the answer, especially since some of the challenges are timed, but I realized at that point those questions are just glorified Anki cards and I might as well practice reading faster by, well, reading out the entire thing!
I just finished the first master's challenge and failed like, at least three times. Once because of running out of time. It's okay! We'll also see when my summer class's worth of grammar fails me - I do remember times of day, weather, and temperature. Also the approach to kanji is overwhelming because unlike Wanikani or RTK they just shotgun the kanji at you as the vocabulary comes up in the gameplay... I'm still squinting at the kanji for "studying" and I'm like... huh!? I did take the time to set up an Anki deck and it helps a lot, gives me some additional practice time outside of when I'm in game!
Never heard of Heaven's Vault but I actually did play Chants of Sennar and enjoyed it! But I also knew going in that the "alien languages" aspect was just some thin dressing and not the meat and potatoes of it - it was cool making some educated guesses toward the glyphs and the "grammar" of the various languages but at the end it was just a good puzzle game and nothing to do with learning a language. I think. I don't know what learning a completely alien language is like. :)
edit: just saw that for some reason my desktop Steam client says I have 9.6 hours into Wagotabi, which is a far more accurate estimate than whatever my Steam deck shows lol
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (April 2026) in ~health.mental
Aran LinkLast month I wrote that my mood was predictably poor at around that time of the month, and this month was no different... but it was definitely better. As in, maybe I'd have the same amount of...Last month I wrote that my mood was predictably poor at around that time of the month, and this month was no different... but it was definitely better. As in, maybe I'd have the same amount of ugly crying episodes, but they didn't last as long and I could recover faster from them. Work has been much better; I'm still not 100% there but I've got some projects, both work and personal, that I'm really excited to make slow progress on.
Unfortunately I write this at this moment because I just broke down over like, something completely unrelated to post-breakup woes! I've had a pull up bar stand for a few weeks in the lower height setting, and today I decided I wanted the higher setting and work on dead hangs. It was a struggle - I'm short, the bar is tall, and the way that the pieces of the stand are designed it just required a lot of struggling while also standing on a bench, etc. Sometime during this struggle I heard the downstairs neighbor banging against their ceiling / my floor. Okay, maybe my stuff is noisy down there? I took a break to re-evaluate how I was getting this damn thing assembled. This wasn't the first time I heard them bang against the ceiling - last time was about a month ago - but I did catch a quick convo since then with one of the residents where I asked if the furniture I was assembling was annoying them, and she said no, she hadn't heard anything.
Quick break and I got back into it, and finally got the pieces in a place where I just need to screw in the nuts and bolts! Exciting! But shortly after I hear more banging from downstairs and this time with some muffled yelling, where I can't really make out all the words but what I imagined was close enough to "stop what you're doing, stfu". And that just... took the wind out of my sails, I guess. Right back to the uggo crying because I didn't want to be here either y'all, but here I am. And I'm not saying that I'm without fault - it was 9:30 PM and I don't know how loud anything I do up here is down there - but I also found it just weirdly isolating that, combined with my previous interactions with the neighbors, they'd rather scream at the ceiling than come upstairs and tell me. Or leave a note. Heck, I'm still left here assuming that they're upset about specifically this noise.
For what it is worth I really am doing better. I've been taking the stance of, "I'll use this as motivation to work harder to live in a better place" for a lot of the little shortcomings I see with my current apartment and this experience falls into the same bucket. Maybe one day I'll be in a place where I can look back and confidently say, Yup, my anime backstory includes that one time some angry neighbor yelled at me through the floor.
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
Aran LinkI finished reading Deer Hunting with Jesus: Dispatches from America's Class War by Joe Bageant. I picked it up on a whim, because of a Youtube comment that referenced it in a discussion about US...I finished reading Deer Hunting with Jesus: Dispatches from America's Class War by Joe Bageant. I picked it up on a whim, because of a Youtube comment that referenced it in a discussion about US rural voters. What immediately struck me was the first page, where if you replace the explicit date of Nov. 2 2004, you could absolutely believe that the following was written about the 2016 election. This book was published in 2007 and the author himself passed away in 2011. I was in middle school then, and honestly I am guilty of deliberately not tuning into US politics with no desire to tune more into it. That being said it's depressing yet morbidly fascinating to read this book that seems to have a finger on the pulse of modern day US politics... many years before 2016, which is probably when most folks my age would assume this all "started".
I've actually been meaning to write up a post about some of the book's theses for a while now... but avoided it because like I said, Politics. And even if I were to avoid the modern day partisan politics aspect, it's just... depressing! I was born and raised in a large city in California to immigrant parents. We certainly were not very well off and "working class" feels a lot more accurate than anything else to describe my grandfather and father (not me, I'm cushy and overpaid). But I've visited some internet friends living in tiny towns in flyover states pre-COVID, and... the biggest culture shock to me was a silent one, and I couldn't really put my thumb on what bothered me. Now I know: in a small town of <10k, where cost of living may be cheap but your wages are also extremely low and your own opportunities for employment don't extend much past Walmart cashier or restaurant server or fast food... what the heck do you do if those are not the kind of jobs you want to hold for the rest of your life? Move, I guess. With what money? What education? Join the military I guess! etc etc...
And all this is just a tiny tiny tiny blip when it comes to the original question of, why do these people - the working poor who need Social Security, who need food stamps, "vote against their interests". Heck, there's an entire chapter dedicated to the mortgage industry which hadn't quite full on crashed yet as of the book's writing (I was in middle school; I don't know the timeline leading up to it). It's depressing even if I'm the first person to tell you that I can't find it in me to worry about the lives of anyone other than myself right now. Perhaps it even makes me feel a little grateful for my current life.
Audiobooks are a conundrum for me. Recently I've had difficulty enjoying music and have preferred listening to video essays or talks in a similar educational-ish, entertainment space. I don't absorb most of it, and most of the time if I'm listening to such a video while out and about, it's purely for noise. I've only attempted to listen to an audiobook once (Jennette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died) and just couldn't get into it. I'm afraid to give audiobooks the same treatment as my background noise videos, where I'll inevitably zone out and miss something...
...that being said, a book about running sounds interesting (in that I would not typically read something like it myself) so I think I'll give it a try... Even after a few months of trying None To Run's recommended regimen, while I knew I absolutely was improving, every little running period just felt like such a struggle where I have nothing occupying my head other than that struggle. It feels easy to try and get my gloves back up when I'm gassed during muay thai but with running it's just, ughhhh I don't wanna get back into that again...
I'm really looking forward to feeling more in control of how I handle the sparring in muay thai! Particularly when it was super light and slow sparring with much taller dudes - I was just slowly trial-and-erroring how to close distance and get a shot in when my reach is, well, rather pitiful and it's just a nice little sidestep to avoid my flailing. As someone who just never participated in sports outside of compulsory school activities... this is actually the first time I got to do something like this for a physical activity and it's really fun!