Cyhchan's recent activity

  1. Comment on Federal judge rules U.S. ban on female genital mutilation is unconstitutional in ~news

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    I've noticed this seems to happen with almost every post about women's issues on Tildes, whether it is about single mothers or domestic violence or female tropes in the media. It is actually...

    I've noticed this seems to happen with almost every post about women's issues on Tildes, whether it is about single mothers or domestic violence or female tropes in the media. It is actually pretty frustrating that these threads get hijacked with comments about how men suffer too. Not saying that men don't suffer, but it would be nice if there could be a separate post about it if that's what folks want to talk about.

    Anyways, back on topic. I am actually really surprised with this ruling as I kind of assumed that FGM was already illegal. I'm not familiar with the US system, but why would this be a state issue instead of a federal issue?

    4 votes
  2. Comment on What are you reading these days? #6 in ~books

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    It's so interesting because I loved Watchmen in comic book form and, similar to you, also found the movie lacking. Despite how it was very visually similar to the comic, there were parts that...

    It's so interesting because I loved Watchmen in comic book form and, similar to you, also found the movie lacking. Despite how it was very visually similar to the comic, there were parts that could not be translated into movie form. The supplemental documents between chapters gave a richness to the world that was largely missing from the movie.

    2 votes
  3. Comment on What are you reading these days? #6 in ~books

    Cyhchan
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    I finished Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck recently. I really enjoyed it and felt a sense of heartbreak and, weirdly, relief with the ending. I'm onto The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas now. I...

    I finished Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck recently. I really enjoyed it and felt a sense of heartbreak and, weirdly, relief with the ending.

    I'm onto The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas now. I don't think I'm really far enough in to say much about it yet, but it's been taking me a while to get into. The book is about a 16 year old black girl who witnesses a police officer shooting her childhood friend. I don't know if it's just because I'm old now, but the dialogue between the high schoolers is taking extra effort for me to decipher. I have heard wonderful things about this book, though, so I do think it will be worth the effort.

    1 vote
  4. Comment on When Asian Women Are Harassed for Marrying Non-Asian Men in ~life

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    Thanks for your insights on this. I think I pretty much agree with everything you are saying and I'm glad that the animosity demonstrated by individuals from subreddits like r/hapas and...

    Thanks for your insights on this. I think I pretty much agree with everything you are saying and I'm glad that the animosity demonstrated by individuals from subreddits like r/hapas and r/aznidentity are not necessarily representative of Asian men as a whole.

    I guess my only question is what you think individual Asian women can do to show support for Asian men? I think it is awful that some Asian women say that Asian men are ugly or nerds. These kinds of stereotypes are obviously wrong and harmful. However, if an Asian woman or woman in general is more attracted to another race, what can she really do about it? On a more macro level, I see that the woman is probably affected by westernized beauty ideals and there may also be internalized racism going on on some level, but I also don't see what we can expect her to do about it. She's not obligated to give every race or ethnicity a fair chance, nor can she really help who she is attracted to.

    I'm sorry, I don't think I'm really articulating this as well as I can and I hope I haven't caused any offense.

    1 vote
  5. Comment on The Great American Read in ~books

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    Yeah, I can kind of see that. There's definitely school books like the Great Gatsby on one spectrum and then the trashier books like Fifty Shades of Grey on the other side. I guess it makes sense...

    Yeah, I can kind of see that. There's definitely school books like the Great Gatsby on one spectrum and then the trashier books like Fifty Shades of Grey on the other side. I guess it makes sense though since most people probably would not have read more obscure novels and this is a popularity contest more than anything else.

    4 votes
  6. Comment on The Great American Read in ~books

    Cyhchan
    (edited )
    Link
    The PBS eight-part series is also available here: https://www.pbs.org/the-great-american-read/watch/ I know the list is about the most loved books in the country, and not necessarily the best...

    The PBS eight-part series is also available here:

    https://www.pbs.org/the-great-american-read/watch/

    I know the list is about the most loved books in the country, and not necessarily the best written, but I still found some of the ones that made it on the list surprising. I mean, Memoirs of a Geisha? I didn't find it to be particularly good and I'm surprised that it is so well loved.

    2 votes
  7. Comment on Baby box safety doubts raised by experts in ~life

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    As I said above, this article really bothers me. So, I'm hoping to dispel any fears by providing some actual information from the Baby Box Company: https://www.babyboxco.com/faq/ As they state,...

    As I said above, this article really bothers me. So, I'm hoping to dispel any fears by providing some actual information from the Baby Box Company:

    https://www.babyboxco.com/faq/

    As they state, their boxes are free, provide additional baby items, and meet or exceed safety standards for the regions they are distributed (Canada, United States, and England). Furthermore, they actually have a slower burn rate than "other comparable sleeping spaces."

    I also want to point out why I think baby boxes may be safer than bassinets and cots (I don't know much about moses baskets but they seem to sit on the floor and look extremely flammable). Similar to the article, I have absolutely no data to back up my claims.

    1. Portability. The boxes are light and portable which means that you can bring them pretty much anywhere in the house or to someone else's house. This is important as a baby needs a place that is enclosed, with a flat mattress, with no suffocation hazards to sleep. Since the article states that your baby should be practicality glued to you even when it's sleeping, the box is more ideal to move around compared to cots or bassinets, which means you are more likely to do so.

    2. Reduced risk of smoke inhalation. Assuming that you are not keeping your box and baby next to an open flame, death from smoke inhalation seems to be more of a risk during a fire than actually being caught on fire. Since the box sits on the floor, the baby is lower to the ground and less likely to die.

    3. Meets current safety standards. Since baby boxes are free, people will always get a brand new one instead of getting one that is used or old. This means that you can guarantee that the one you get actually meets or exceeds current safety standards. If you are buying a second hand bassinet or cot, you have to do more research to make sure that they are still in good condition and that they are not so old that they are no longer considered safe by current standards.

    I don't want to in any way criticize parents who use cots, bassinets, or moses baskets. I actually believe that they are all safe. It just really bothers me when parents are constantly made to feel fearful all the time, particularly when there is no evidence to back it up.

    7 votes
  8. Comment on Baby box safety doubts raised by experts in ~life

    Cyhchan
    (edited )
    Link
    I found it to be a weird article. I used a baby box and found it really easy to see my baby since it's an open box kept on the floor next to the bed. How hard is it to see the baby? The free box I...

    Compared with cots, bassinets and Moses baskets, it is harder for parents to see their babies easily when they are sleeping in them, they warned.

    And some boxes, particularly those that are not laminated, may potentially be flammable or leave babies more vulnerable to pets and young siblings if they are kept on the floor.

    I found it to be a weird article. I used a baby box and found it really easy to see my baby since it's an open box kept on the floor next to the bed. How hard is it to see the baby?

    The free box I received was laminated as well. Are there ones in other countries that aren't? I have honestly never thought about being afraid of my baby's bed catching fire. The pets point is also perplexing since they don't make bassinets or cots high enough that a cat or reasonable sized dog won't be able to jump into it anyways.

    I think I'm more irritated than I should be with this article because it doesn't seem to have done any safety tests but may end up guilting parents into spending money that they don't have for something they don't really need.

    Edit: added quotes.

    10 votes
  9. Comment on why i only own 4 books 💸 a chat on booktube consumerism in ~books

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    Haha, that's true for me too. I used to buy lots of hardcovers despite actually preferring to read paperbacks. They look so nice on the shelf and always come out before the paperback edition for...

    Haha, that's true for me too. I used to buy lots of hardcovers despite actually preferring to read paperbacks. They look so nice on the shelf and always come out before the paperback edition for whatever reason.

    2 votes
  10. Comment on why i only own 4 books 💸 a chat on booktube consumerism in ~books

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    Thanks for sharing! I'm guilty of buying quite a few books that I have either never read (honestly, probably won't at this point) or that I've tried and didn't finish. I used to reread books that...

    Thanks for sharing! I'm guilty of buying quite a few books that I have either never read (honestly, probably won't at this point) or that I've tried and didn't finish. I used to reread books that I loved a lot, but even that hasn't been happening the last few years.

    I'm fully aware that the collection is a vanity thing, but in my defence there are no reliable libraries where I live

    I know what you mean. I have a library that is super close to where I live, but I will be on hold for forever if it is for a book that is even slightly popular. Right now I am #77 for a book that only has 5 copies and it came out about 3 years ago. It is super tempting just to go out and buy it.

  11. Comment on why i only own 4 books 💸 a chat on booktube consumerism in ~books

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    Well, to be fair, she also talks about how she finds joy in experiences rather than in owning things and goes on to talk book vanity and how lots of booktubers feel pressured to buy and show off...

    She is self-conscious about how she spends money due to her upbringing and she likes minimalism. That's it.

    Well, to be fair, she also talks about how she finds joy in experiences rather than in owning things and goes on to talk book vanity and how lots of booktubers feel pressured to buy and show off all their books, at times at the expense of healthy meals.

    I also feel books are so far down the ladder of problematic purchases, it's not even worth contemplating whether we should stop buying them.

    Maybe for you, but I think it is a problem for other people. There are some folks who buy books using money they don't have in order to display them like trophies. I'm not knocking such people - people can decide for themselves what they want to buy and I think most people have their vices.

    I do find this topic interesting though, as I feel a lot of joy looking at a shelf full of books. I'm certainly guilty of buying probably too many books and I've been trying to curb my spending in that area and go to the library. I would be interested to know how many books people own. Of those books, how many have they actually read? How many of those books did people actually like, and how many of those books will they read again?

    My last thought is that books are different from almost anything else we purchase. With clothes we know what it will look like and how it will fit us (provided we buy them at a store), with furniture or household items we again know what they look like and will return them if we don't end up liking them. With video games, there's not really a real way to play them for free. Books are kind of the only thing that comes to mind where we buy them not knowing if we will like them and keep them even if we don't enjoy them (there are exceptions, of course) even though we have a good free alternative.

    5 votes
  12. Comment on When Asian Women Are Harassed for Marrying Non-Asian Men in ~life

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    Yes, sorry, I should have made that clear.

    Yes, sorry, I should have made that clear.

    3 votes
  13. Comment on When Asian Women Are Harassed for Marrying Non-Asian Men in ~life

    Cyhchan
    Link
    I've actually been meaning to post about this for a while now. I'm in an AFWM relationship and did not really think much about it until I watched Natalie Tran's documentary on youtube (I wanted to...

    I've actually been meaning to post about this for a while now. I'm in an AFWM relationship and did not really think much about it until I watched Natalie Tran's documentary on youtube (I wanted to link it, but apparently she's taken it down?) as she explored why the asian community hated her for dating a white man. The people she interviewed talked about how asian men have been emasculated in the media and that asian women who date outside of their race play a direct role in further perpetuating the idea that asian men are undesirable. After watching the documentary, I checked out the r/hapas subreddit and was surprised to find out how much asian women who date white guys are absolutely despised. They make ridiculously hateful comments about how all those women are "white worshippers" and "self-hating asians" whose children will definitely grow up hating asian men. White men, on the other hand, only want to be with asian women because they are fetishized and white men want a subservient wife. Unsurprisingly, they make no such criticisms of the WFAM pairing.

    Although I do agree that asian men have historically, and still continue to be emasculated in the media, I think their anger is misplaced. The vast majority of asian women I know date both in and out of their race. They may end up with a white guy, but it's almost never because ending up with a white guy was the goal or something. It's also deeply disturbing the way that women are viewed as a commodity whose only purpose is to validate asian men's sense of self-worth. Celeste Ng, Michelle Phan, Constance Wu, Amy Chua, and even Chloe Bennet are all under fire for dating white men regardless of their achievements.

    Another thing that is frequently brought up is that asian women receive white privilege when they date/marry white men. Not sure what that means, as I personally don't feel more privileged. Maybe that's just my own blind spot though?

    Anyways, all this to say that I recognize that asian men have their own unique hardships and I do hope that movies and tv shows start to better show them as fully fleshed, attractive people so that they can stop being stereotyped as nerdy and asexual. But I also hope that they can stop assuming they know anything about individual AFWM relationships.

    17 votes
  14. Comment on 'We need to know the sex. If it’s a girl we are going to terminate it' in ~life

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    No, there isn't, in my opinion. I support a woman's right to choose, even if I don't necessarily like the reason for her choice. I will always place a woman's life above that of an unborn child. I...

    There's a big difference between aborting because you can't support or simply don't want to be responsible for caring for a child and aborting because the kid's got the wrong gender.

    No, there isn't, in my opinion. I support a woman's right to choose, even if I don't necessarily like the reason for her choice. I will always place a woman's life above that of an unborn child.

    Dragging the hiring analogy back, it's fine to choose not to hire based on skill, but very much not okay to base your decision on race or gender. Some reasons aren't "good enough."

    I still don't think this is a good analogy. I don't believe you can compare hiring practices to having a baby. The reasons I have for being pro-choice just don't transfer well to hiring. For example, I am pro-choice because I believe in body autonomy. There are physical, mental, and emotional risks to having a baby. Women can die, go through postpartum depression, experience anxiety, pelvic floor damage, and the list goes on and on. Even if everything does go well, the mother then has to raise that child for at least the next 18 years. An employer hiring a woman or a minority does not face any of those risks or consequences.

    I can understand how forcing someone to have an unwanted baby can be a problem, I'm not quite sure I understand "insulting," though. Could you clarify that at all?

    Well, I just have to imagine being pregnant and going for a ultrasound and being told that I'm not allowed to know the sex of my baby because I might make a decision that they don't like. Being an Asian woman, it doesn't take a huge stretch of the imagination.

    I believe women have a right to get all the information they want and can have before they make their decision. Withholding information is almost like trying to trick them into doing something they otherwise wouldn't do.

    7 votes
  15. Comment on 'We need to know the sex. If it’s a girl we are going to terminate it' in ~life

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    I cannot agree with this. As much as I believe in gender equality and hate gender selection, I also will always stand by a woman's right to choose for herself whether she wants to have a baby or...

    I mean not completely, no, but restricting access to the info seems like a pretty good start.

    I cannot agree with this. As much as I believe in gender equality and hate gender selection, I also will always stand by a woman's right to choose for herself whether she wants to have a baby or not. As far as I'm concerned, she shouldn't have to justify her decision to anyone. If we support women getting abortions because they want to focus on their career, were survivors of rape, don't want children, or are simply not ready, I don't think we can then turn around and say that this reason is no longer "good" enough. Withholding the information of the sex of the baby is also kind of an insulting solution. It has already been happening in parts of British Columbia where some sonographers will refuse to reveal the sex of the baby to asian women. Will forcing someone to have a baby they don't want be in the best interest of the parents or the baby?

    I think in the end, we have to look at why sons are more favourable to have and address those issues.

    If you refuse to hire african american individuals, you're going to be in a legal world of trouble

    I think this is an unfair comparison. Workplaces also protect against discrimination based on physical and/or mental disabilities. Does that mean that parents shouldn't know if there are any abnormalities in their baby for fear that they will abort their baby based on ableism?

    18 votes
  16. Comment on What are you reading this week? #4 in ~books

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    Happy to hear that you liked it. I'm not too far in right now, and I already feel sad for George and Lennie...and the mice.

    Happy to hear that you liked it. I'm not too far in right now, and I already feel sad for George and Lennie...and the mice.

  17. Comment on What are you reading this week? #4 in ~books

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    Yeah, I could've done without a lot of the inserts, but I did appreciate that there was more character development for Inigo and Fezzik in the book. I can see why a lot of it was left out of the...

    Yeah, I could've done without a lot of the inserts, but I did appreciate that there was more character development for Inigo and Fezzik in the book. I can see why a lot of it was left out of the movie though.

    4 votes
  18. Comment on What are you reading this week? #4 in ~books

    Cyhchan
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    I just finished "The Princess Bride" by William Goldman. It took a while to get going, but I ended up really enjoying it. The movie is very faithful to the book but did skip some parts that...

    I just finished "The Princess Bride" by William Goldman. It took a while to get going, but I ended up really enjoying it. The movie is very faithful to the book but did skip some parts that focused more on Inigo and Fezzik. Overall, I'm happy I read it and lots of parts had me laughing just because it was so over the top.

    I've started reading "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck. I read "East of Eden" years ago and it has been one of my favourite books, so I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to try another Steinbeck book.

    7 votes
  19. Comment on How We Know Kavanaugh Is Lying in ~news

    Cyhchan
    Link Parent
    I agree with you 100% on this. I guess the cynical part of me doesn't think his current job is in any kind of jeopardy regardless of how he behaved during the hearing. I'm still holding out some...

    Just as importantly, he is already a judge, and has been for over a decade (according to his Wikipedia page). He should already be capable of behaving in a rational, logical, unbiased, professional, honest way.

    I agree with you 100% on this. I guess the cynical part of me doesn't think his current job is in any kind of jeopardy regardless of how he behaved during the hearing. I'm still holding out some hope that it might affect his chances of serving on the supreme court though.

    4 votes