DefinitelyNotAFae's recent activity
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Comment on Ring camera is getting more and more annoying in ~tech
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Comment on An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology" in ~life
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )Link ParentI've dated guys shorter than myself and taller and absolutely none of them have looked anything like body builder or "looksmaxxer" and every (attracted to men) woman I know likes a dad bod to...I've dated guys shorter than myself and taller and absolutely none of them have looked anything like body builder or "looksmaxxer" and every (attracted to men) woman I know likes a dad bod to cuddle with.
Even the most attractive man looks very different on a women's magazine vs a men's magazine. And this is all a stereotype in a lot of ways but it feels like they will not believe the population of people they want to date and will only listen to other men about women instead.
I just don't get the choice of mentor I guess. They're always some of the worst people.
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Comment on What's a battle that nobody knows you're fighting? in ~talk
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI find a bit of relief in an optimistic nihilism sort of way.I find a bit of relief in an optimistic nihilism sort of way.
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Comment on Babylon 5 S01E07: "The War Prayer" - Episode Discussion in ~tv
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentShe had the illegal phone calls but I don't think the coffee came up til here! I think he wants to remember but I'm not sure he does quite, yet.She had the illegal phone calls but I don't think the coffee came up til here!
I think he wants to remember but I'm not sure he does quite, yet.
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Comment on As Deep As The Grave | Official trailer (AI Val Kilmer movie) in ~movies
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentBut like, a wink from someone you weren't talking to and didn't want to engage with that makes you feel uncomfortableBut like, a wink from someone you weren't talking to and didn't want to engage with that makes you feel uncomfortable
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Comment on Do I need dating apps? (same-sex, a bit of ace) in ~life
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )LinkGenuinely I'd suggest starting with making queer connections in queer social spaces that aren't the bar and that aren't focused on dating. And not with the subconscious goal of dating people you...Genuinely I'd suggest starting with making queer connections in queer social spaces that aren't the bar and that aren't focused on dating. And not with the subconscious goal of dating people you meet there, but because being in the community is how you'll find folks more often than not.
Queer spaces, even the apps, are generally less about all of the performance stuff, IME. Gay male culture has its share of feeling the need to perform in a particular way, but also has a lot more comfort with hook ups. Queer women stereotypically move in on the second date. You don't need to do eyeliner or perform a certain way - there are queer apps but idk what's the most popular now - if you want to just be you.
Especially since you're demi, it sounds like the goal should be building those long term strong friendships - some of which might turn into romantic ones, and others will support you through the dating scene in a way randoms on the internet can't. And in general I think doing things you enjoy around and with the type of folks you like is the way to find someone(s). So hence being in more queer spaces.
I met many of my partners LARPing, playing WoW, at conventions, etc. They're often queerer spaces and even when I would be dating a guy, it was much more likely to be a bi guy that wasn't weird about the queerness like some of my straight bfs have been.
Just my two cents. I get the fear of loneliness but I think the solution is less "lean in on dating" and more "exist out in the world making connections."
Just my 2¢
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Comment on What's a battle that nobody knows you're fighting? in ~talk
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI promise I know myself well enough to know I'm not going to give in to the call. I just do hear it. I appreciate you and am glad you're here as wellI promise I know myself well enough to know I'm not going to give in to the call. I just do hear it.
I appreciate you and am glad you're here as well
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Comment on What's a battle that nobody knows you're fighting? in ~talk
DefinitelyNotAFae LinkThere are days I gaze into the abyss and consider letting go. I won't. I can't. But even as I try desperately to call others back from the darkness, I still hear the call of the void myself. And...There are days I gaze into the abyss and consider letting go.
I won't. I can't. But even as I try desperately to call others back from the darkness, I still hear the call of the void myself. And I'm tired enough it seems reasonable.
Again, I won't. But I don't think anyone knows that it's there but me.
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Comment on Babylon 5 S01E07: "The War Prayer" - Episode Discussion in ~tv
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )LinkMark Twain, “The War Prayer” (ca.1904-5) | The American Yawp Reader The source of the name of the episode. Worth a read. It isn't at all going to cause some comparisons to current events. /S And...Mark Twain, “The War Prayer” (ca.1904-5) | The American Yawp Reader
The source of the name of the episode. Worth a read. It isn't at all going to cause some comparisons to current events. /S
And ah yes, Homeguard... A humans first/Earth First movement that will not feel resonant in any way whatsoever to anyone living through current times. /S
This episode contains hate crime. Sigh
More to come as I rewatch.
D plot:
The question of the assassination attempt of Kosh - how did they get to his hand. He has a hand? What do Vorlons look like? This is one of those very intentional mysteries that is not over yet. Everyone who saw Kosh has been called back to Earth.C plot:
Ivanova has a romantic past just like Sinclair does. Good thing this random guest is totally unrelated to the other plots and won't result in any pain. Also she is growing illegal coffee.
B Plot:
Londo is a deeply tragic character, three wives, no love, and his shoes are too small. (｡•́︿•̀｡) Every time more is revealed it highlights how little he has going for him despite apparent great privilege.Perhaps he can learn to dance again someday.
A Plot (spoilers)
Homeguard goes from one attack to near riots very quickly (I don't think they're specifically mentioned previously but tensions were.) As people feel unsafe but trapped and that humans won't police human violence, it's... Far too close to home. G'kar makes a nice heel..he's probably genuine to an extent, it is scary, but also it's about the political advantage.
Oh noooo, Malcolm is the bad guy. Who could have guessed.
Sinclair once again putting himself out there, and Ivanova having one more loss. Shootout in a random cargo bay is quite the recurring pattern for the show."I can't believe you did this to me" is the litany of every person with zero responsibility for their own actions.
"Such great hatred for so little real reason.. "
"Human ways are often unfathomable but in time one learns to live with them."
"If one has an exceedingly strong constitution."Yeah, we suck.
I like this episode, I don't like how relevant it is.
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Comment on Bluesky is down (at least for me) in ~tech
DefinitelyNotAFae LinkSeems up for me but the app did think all of my notifications from a month ago were new. HmmSeems up for me but the app did think all of my notifications from a month ago were new. Hmm
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Comment on Ticketmaster is an illegal monopoly, jury rules in ~finance
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentTicketmaster/Live Nation also owns most major sporting event ticketing iirc. So it's definitely bigger concerts and sports. I don't really do either (except Banana Ball and they do their own...Ticketmaster/Live Nation also owns most major sporting event ticketing iirc. So it's definitely bigger concerts and sports. I don't really do either (except Banana Ball and they do their own thing)
Dice got bought out but seems to be operating pretty independently still and wasn't bought by the monopoly (I didn't dig super deep so maybe it was just under a bunch of business aliases or something)
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Comment on Ticketmaster is an illegal monopoly, jury rules in ~finance
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentTicketweb - owned by Ticketmaster AXS - primarily tickets for AEG (so like they're part of the company whose venues are being ticketed) Eventbrite - seems independent Dice - seems independent and...Ticketweb - owned by Ticketmaster
AXS - primarily tickets for AEG (so like they're part of the company whose venues are being ticketed)
Eventbrite - seems independent
Dice - seems independent and British?I'd say these are probably mostly independent shows and festivals if I am reading the company descriptions right. Eventbrite does a lot of local events too IME, like pub crawls and things.
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Comment on Is there any interest in regular short Tildes surveys? in ~tildes
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentJust sharing my thoughts on it!Just sharing my thoughts on it!
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Comment on Is there any interest in regular short Tildes surveys? in ~tildes
DefinitelyNotAFae LinkNot interested in putting something in my bio to connect to my survey results, but I'm happy to answer surveys more broadly. I don't think we're a big enough community where we would get a ton of...Not interested in putting something in my bio to connect to my survey results, but I'm happy to answer surveys more broadly.
I don't think we're a big enough community where we would get a ton of inauthentic survey results anyway
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Comment on An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology" in ~life
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )Link ParentGotcha. I mean I think there's a space for all of that, but on the I don't want skin cancer and want to take care of my skin level... You're doing fine with that routine. Everything else is about...Gotcha. I mean I think there's a space for all of that, but on the I don't want skin cancer and want to take care of my skin level... You're doing fine with that routine. Everything else is about trying to look prettier by whatever subculture's standard of beauty is being offered.
For example: I find really Glam makeup looks mostly unattractive, And I think I look weird in a full face of makeup. But I'm happy for folks who like those looks for themselves
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Comment on An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology" in ~life
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentYou absolutely can just wash your face regularly and then hit it with SPF moisturizer in the morning and go about your life. I don't wear makeup either but elaborate skin care isn't required if...You absolutely can just wash your face regularly and then hit it with SPF moisturizer in the morning and go about your life. I don't wear makeup either but elaborate skin care isn't required if you don't care about all the rest of it.
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Comment on Allbirds announces pivot from running shoes to AI compute; stock surged over 700% in ~tech
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )Link ParentHe shared his opinions on trans people and trans youth as a (former?) teacher and a parent in a response to me immediately prior to his banning. I don't know what else occurred in the past to help...He shared his opinions on trans people and trans youth as a (former?) teacher and a parent in a response to me immediately prior to his banning. I don't know what else occurred in the past to help make that decision. I also don't think I have a screenshot or archive, so I don't recall details.
Edit: actually that was a temp ban, he made a post demanding answers publicly after that and I don't recall whether there was a further public reason for a ban. I did have a SS of that update. He felt his views were respectfully expressed. I do not personally agree with that assessment.
(He's not the only conservative on tildes.)
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Comment on What Eric Swalwell’s exit means for Democrats in California’s governor race in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentThe irony is this is an improvement from not kicking them outThe irony is this is an improvement from not kicking them out
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Comment on What Eric Swalwell’s exit means for Democrats in California’s governor race in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae LinkIf only not sexually assaulting your staffers was an option. Or other people not ignoring the rumors for years, that might have helped. It took multiple women accusing him of sexual assault before...If only not sexually assaulting your staffers was an option. Or other people not ignoring the rumors for years, that might have helped.
It took multiple women accusing him of sexual assault before he quit but we'll disqualify a woman for far less. (I don't love Porter, I'm just tired of the double standard.)
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Comment on New search engine reveals if ancestors were in Nazi party in ~humanities.history
DefinitelyNotAFae LinkHuh, I think my German ancestors were in America by then - My grandma was born in the US in 1930 and she wasn't the oldest or first born here. But this is very interesting. Alas for it not being...Huh, I think my German ancestors were in America by then - My grandma was born in the US in 1930 and she wasn't the oldest or first born here. But this is very interesting. Alas for it not being accessible.
As problematic as they all are I'm glad I switched to a Nest doorbell when we bought our house. It's a needed accessibility tool for us but at least I'm not getting that alongside it.