DefinitelyNotAFae's recent activity
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Comment on See Donald Trump's list: More than 180 countries and territories facing reciprocal tariffs from the US in ~society
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Comment on See Donald Trump's list: More than 180 countries and territories facing reciprocal tariffs from the US in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentTrue, and also, way fewer Nazis.True, and also, way fewer Nazis.
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Comment on See Donald Trump's list: More than 180 countries and territories facing reciprocal tariffs from the US in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentSenate passes measure to revoke new Canada tariffs as four Republicans break with Trump Sens. Susan Collins of Maine; Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell of Kentucky; and Lisa Murkowski of Alaska Two...Senate passes measure to revoke new Canada tariffs as four Republicans break with Trump
Sens. Susan Collins of Maine; Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell of Kentucky; and Lisa Murkowski of Alaska
Two moderates, a libertarian and the former head of the party in the Senate.
For clarity they voted to end the "emergency" at the Canadian border but it would need passed by the House and signed.... I think? This is where I lose the twists of how things should work vs what they say vs what they're actually doing.
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Comment on See Donald Trump's list: More than 180 countries and territories facing reciprocal tariffs from the US in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentHe's on bluesky now! Join the... less dark side?He's on bluesky now!
Join the... less dark side? -
Comment on See Donald Trump's list: More than 180 countries and territories facing reciprocal tariffs from the US in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentYeah I don't have a Twitter account and thus it's not useful to link to it anymore unfortunately. I must again quote Benoit BlancYeah I don't have a Twitter account and thus it's not useful to link to it anymore unfortunately.
I must again quote Benoit Blanc
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Comment on See Donald Trump's list: More than 180 countries and territories facing reciprocal tariffs from the US in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI can't Twitter, but not only does that math line up, Grok gave the exact same information Bsky link Idk how they think we should have no difference in trade with Lesotho of all places.I can't Twitter, but not only does that math line up, Grok gave the exact same information
Idk how they think we should have no difference in trade with Lesotho of all places.
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Comment on See Donald Trump's list: More than 180 countries and territories facing reciprocal tariffs from the US in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentIt's only habitation is from the joint owned US and UK base. And they targeted Svalbard. It's so.... Dumb.It's only habitation is from the joint owned US and UK base.
And they targeted Svalbard.
It's so.... Dumb.
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Comment on Megathread: April Fools' Day 2025 on the internet in ~talk
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI... Want raw fish in a seaweed sleeping bagI... Want raw fish in a seaweed sleeping bag
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Comment on What lesser-known alternative would you recommend as a substitute for something more popular? in ~talk
DefinitelyNotAFae LinkDrop loofahs and wash cloths Get an African Net Sponge Real ones are not just the plastic mesh of a loofah but stretched out, they're actually knotted nets and real good ones are African made...Drop loofahs and wash cloths
Get an African Net Sponge
Real ones are not just the plastic mesh of a loofah but stretched out, they're actually knotted nets and real good ones are African made because we love a responsible company.
Why are they good?
- They dry out quickly and completely while hanging
- They can be washed in the laundry (don't dry them)
- They exfoliate
- They lather even in my hard AF water
- They last for years
- Some have strings at the end to help you gather it or stretch it
- You can wash across your entire back and it feels really good
I've personally purchased from Cee Cee's closet, and I trust Bellanomi, but there are a lot of knock offs out there. So I wouldn't order the cheapest option on Amazon. Key is the knotted strings.
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Comment on US Federal prosecutors to seek death penalty for Luigi Mangione in UnitedHealthcare CEO’s killing in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentYeah from that only the interstate aspect flags, but also that there's no double jeopardy so he'd actually have to be acquitted twice? (Not saying he would be, but you know if he were.) Thanks for...Yeah from that only the interstate aspect flags, but also that there's no double jeopardy so he'd actually have to be acquitted twice? (Not saying he would be, but you know if he were.)
Thanks for the primer, I think I still have all my questions 😅
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (April 2025) in ~health.mental
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentOh it absolutely isn't the best choice, it specifically gives you worse sleep. It's more of a "you can't sneeze if you're unconscious" sort of antihistamine. But it did a good job of letting me...Oh it absolutely isn't the best choice, it specifically gives you worse sleep. It's more of a "you can't sneeze if you're unconscious" sort of antihistamine. But it did a good job of letting me get back to sleep if I'm woken up by a cat, my partner or my other cat. Which is where the reflux can get me.
I actually have a sleep number bed (we bought it right before my partner's surgery that left him paralyzed, because he was already disabled, and I'll love it more when it's paid off. (Gods, this bed, a wheelchair van, and the mortgage plus a credit card....ugh) Anyway so I can lift the head up, and it helps, but I'm a stomach sleeper.
I don't know for sure, because I can't hear myself sleeping, but I don't snore regularly and the only time I ever woke up gasping I'd fallen asleep face down on a pillow so... If I would stop smothering myself, I think my breathing is fine (the bed also has a breathing app and last night I snored for like... 20 min in the middle of the night til I moved. ) if probably do better form all of it if my eating and all the rest were better. I've been doing daily walks and want to throw some bodyweight strength training in, I have a long term goal of being able to help my partner transfer without a lift, but he's a bit dude, so while he's doing the work in PT, I'm going to be a backup so he won't be afraid of falling. And I miss being strong.
So yeah sleep study is very low on the list rn, I've got a crown and diabetes maintenance stuff to do first and my appointments are harder to schedule... Plus a vet appt. Sigh maybe summer.
The support and care is appreciated, I promise I'm not shooting things down without thought. I've had a number of the convos with my doctor and stuff ebbs and flows. I have undiagnosed chronic pain myself that is not all the time but is predictable but didn't show up on blood tests 8 years ago and the meds I could take made me hurt more when they wore off so I stopped.
Anyway our Savannah Bananas game was rescheduled til July so we have more time before a big event, so he's going to go with me to Costco instead. Lower stakes, but still getting out.
So we're both trying. In a lot of ways from 2020 forward (not that 2016-2020 was low stress) my resiliency has been sandblasted. I hit a point where I didn't think I had any cortisol left because it was being immediately dumped into my system.
Now I recover a little bit of that resiliency quickly but never have a chance to accumulate it past that minimum level. I feel better today than when I wrote the original post. But I doubt I get above this before something else hits.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (April 2025) in ~health.mental
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentDuring the pandemic I was doing a nightly benadryl. My doc was aware and made sure we kept an eye out for side effects but the sleep isn't as good. It's the ADHD and anxiety mixed with acid reflux...During the pandemic I was doing a nightly benadryl. My doc was aware and made sure we kept an eye out for side effects but the sleep isn't as good. It's the ADHD and anxiety mixed with acid reflux symptoms and regularly being woken up by my partner. It's definitely worth me asking if I can't get it under control. But the time change fucked with me harder this year too and I feel like if I can just get adjusted to that I'll be ok.... That's probably just optimism
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (April 2025) in ~health.mental
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentAppreciate it, I'm trying with the sleep but half the time it's my brain and the other half it's his pain leading to me being woken up. Neither of us get quality sleep, except he's getting it in...Appreciate it, I'm trying with the sleep but half the time it's my brain and the other half it's his pain leading to me being woken up. Neither of us get quality sleep, except he's getting it in the evenings now so thats not helping us get time together
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (April 2025) in ~health.mental
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentAgreed. We don't qualify for respite because he has a personal assistant. Which is great because then he has someone when I'm not here during the day most days. But it means we don't get weekdays...Agreed. We don't qualify for respite because he has a personal assistant. Which is great because then he has someone when I'm not here during the day most days. But it means we don't get weekdays off together if I take the day off, and I spent my days off last week on a mix of errands and nothing at all. Not restorative.
Sigh
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (April 2025) in ~health.mental
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentKind of? I lead a case management team at a university. I never know how to describe my role. So thank you, because here's the thing, I train on compassion fatigue, secondary trauma and burnout so...possibly a civil servant
Kind of? I lead a case management team at a university. I never know how to describe my role.
So thank you, because here's the thing, I train on compassion fatigue, secondary trauma and burnout so much that while I know "caregiver burnout" is a thing my brain had overwritten all the caregiver burnout signs/symptoms with the traditional burnout symptoms. And so because I actually love my job, and don't have compassion fatigue, etc.(although I do have some primary and secondary trauma), I brushed it off before, but I pulled the caregiver burnout symptoms up and ...
I've never been so thoroughly read for filth.
So again thank you. It's not like I didn't know I was dealing with all this but I didn't quite realize how much. I haven't really found community in any of the caregiver online groups - they are either super large or mostly made up of folks in a very... negative caregiving relationship, whether because of having to care for someone who is or was abusive or because they're past caregiver burnout into full burnout. And in person they're either older or caring for a parent. So... Yeah.
Thanks
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Comment on Liberal projected to win Wisconsin Supreme Court race in blow to Donald Trump in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )Link ParentYeah there are definitely a ton more nuances than I've even been able to touch on! And some have shuttered offices in primarily black areas, or in rural areas. Voting is a right. It shouldn't be...Yeah there are definitely a ton more nuances than I've even been able to touch on! And some have shuttered offices in primarily black areas, or in rural areas. Voting is a right. It shouldn't be kept behind the dozens of tiny gates we currently have on the system.
As others have noted there are better ways to handle IDs than the American one. And better ways to handle voting too. But many people want to disenfranchise people and have no interest in helping "felons" reenter society, unless they have 34 of felonies. That seems to be a magic number.
I don't think incarcerated people should be disenfranchised either
ETA: another loophole is that your immediate family could generally request your birth certificate, this varied widely depending on if you had family at all or their support (how many times have you burnt a bridge there). As long as they had ID, money and were willing to help, you could speed up the birth certificate some.
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Comment on Liberal projected to win Wisconsin Supreme Court race in blow to Donald Trump in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentIt's not really the easy way out it's just reasonable. There is a level of ID required to register to vote. Requiring it to vote adds a barrier. There are states that allow mail in voting with no...Allowing people to vote without an ID is sort of the easy way out if they also need an ID for other things. Like, okay, let them to vote, but that's hardly anything compared to actually helping them? Voting doesn't improve their lives directly.
It's not really the easy way out it's just reasonable. There is a level of ID required to register to vote. Requiring it to vote adds a barrier. There are states that allow mail in voting with no issue. There's also zero evidence of voter fraud.
We should just also make IDs easier to get.
The crazy thing is that the prison system certainly knows who people are, so just making sure everyone who gets out of prison has an ID should be just be standard. And from what you say, it sounds like they sort of do have a way, but it's incomplete.
The option is new, so I don't know enough about it, but it doesn't remove all of the other barriers. There were non-profits that do what I did, but my company was a for profit contracted corrections company designed to reduce recidivism. I did good work, the company didn't. But reentry services are needed for so much more.
It also sounds like there are people who don't have ID's because, due to life circumstances, they have a hard time hanging onto anything? Nowadays, once you're in the system and they have your photo in the computer, they should be able to identify you more easily when getting a replacement.
You'd think. It doesn't make any sense to me that an expired or even near expired ID isn't accepted or requires extra documentation to use. But that's not how it works in any state afaik.
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Comment on Jet Lag: Schengen Showdown | Trailer in ~hobbies
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentHaven't watched 4 yet, but I love how competitive Tom is throughout this. He's making me think Adam is chill.Haven't watched 4 yet, but I love how competitive Tom is throughout this. He's making me think Adam is chill.
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Comment on Liberal projected to win Wisconsin Supreme Court race in blow to Donald Trump in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )Link ParentCaveat: I worked with people on parole in Illinois so many of my examples will be based on the difficulties they faced, however these things can apply to folks in a number of other situations. If...- Exemplary
Caveat: I worked with people on parole in Illinois so many of my examples will be based on the difficulties they faced, however these things can apply to folks in a number of other situations.
If you've been incarcerated you often don't have any ID at all anymore. If it was on you when you went to jail it's not always returned when you get out of prison. If you moved around a lot as a kid, or were evicted and had your things pitched, or your roommates trashed everything when you got arrested, or whatever, you may have absolutely nothing. So that's the assumption I'm starting from. This was the real experiences of my clients needing ID and me trying to help them get it.
Ok so to get an ID in Illinois you need 1 piece of documentation from Group A, B, C and D
- Group A - Written Signature
Social Security Card is most common as it also covers group C, but a major credit/debit card or canceled check can work. Most of the other options are other forms of legal identification.
Many homeless people or people who were incarcerated don't have a debit card or checking account, they're often unbanked. Plus they'll basically need their Social Security Card for Group C. People with a history of bouncing checks/overdrafting lose access to our banking system which mostly operates on its own special credit check (ChexSystems). They may not have regular income and thus not be eligible for fee-free banking (that requires a direct deposit). So the bank is out.
Replacement Social Security Card
The good news is this is free! The bad news is you need some proof of who you are. You can start an online application, if you have internet access and a device, but you'll have to go to an office. Thankfully, none of those have been closed by your federal government because my work in this field was between 10-and 15 years ago! Unfortunately, this will require transportation and 1 "proof of your identity" per ssa.gov.
Options include (I omitted a few that are not easier):- Driver's License or ID - obviously not
- Passport - nope
- Health Insurance or Medicaid Card - not straight out of prison but maybe if you can get signed up and have a place to have the card mailed to.
- Medical record (not a bill) - probably not
- Employee ID - nope
All documents must be original copies and not expired.
Ok so maybe we can get our Medicaid card, that's going to take some time. Plus the Social Security Card will be mailed, so you definitely need an address, and it's about 2 weeks after you get that Medicaid card. Also hope you have transportation to the office, how much do your bus systems cost? Are you even in an accessible area?
Alright on to
- Group B - Date of Birth
Besides other forms of ID, this is mostly a Birth Certificate, Adoption records or certified school transcripts. That last one is a nice loophole if the person has access and the school doesn't charge for them. No guarantee, though. Social Security Award Letters also count, which means some folks can print these offline (if they have access to a printer and are capable of accessing their online account, etc.) But mostly, this is a birth certificate option.
To get a copy of your Birth Certificate in the State of IL - it varies a bit by county. But you can request a copy from the state (which is cheaper than my county), so it's what we'll use. The county option might be better if you live in your county seat and can go in person.
What do you need to do to get your Birth Certificate you ask?
What You Need to Provide
In order to request a copy of a birth certificate you must complete the form Application for Search of Birth Record Files. To learn more, see FORMS located in the right-hand column. Completely fill out the form. Submit it with the following information:A valid government issued photo identification (ID) that must be readable and is not expired/out of date (if an ID is not provided, unreadable, or expired, the request will be returned unprocessed).
Well shit.
Ok let me go looking at the specifics.In fact, not only do you need a valid ID - DL, State ID, or Passport, if it expires in less than six months, you also need to provide another piece of information, medical/car insurance card, credit card statement, bank statement, public assistance card, LINK card (Illinois' EBT). But we don't have that.
Now, thankfully, they've added that if you're released from prison, a dated copy of your prison intake/offender summary sheet with your photo is also valid along with prison photo ID as long as it's been <6 months since your release. (I have never seen a prison photo ID; maybe they get to take them with them now, or maybe my clients pitched them after they got out. IDK, I'll assume they're accessible.)
So you have a few options, but my clients, at least previously, didn't have any of these. Especially before Obamacare, my male clients and female clients without kids were basically ineligible for Medicaid and LINK/SNAP. So you could be literally stuck in limbo. But now Medicaid and SNAP are more accessible so, you're good right?
Oh, btw, costs 10-15$ that you have to pay online or by mail. Remember that whole unbanked thing? Also unemployed? And while you get SNAP it's illegal to sell that and you don' get cash assistance. (Btw from my county it's $30 bucks and you need an unexpired license, State ID or Passport... so... that's worse)
Hope you find that money somewhere.
- Group C - Social Security Number
We've covered this with our Group A (hopefully) but the only other option here is a pay stub, 1099, or W2 with your SSN and name on it.
You're probably not working. Hopefully you can wait on your Medicaid and Social Security Card.
And finally...
- Group D - Residency
These are things that people who rent or own homes can usually access pretty easily, bank statements, leases, insurance policies, official mail, Report Card, Utility bill (And literally an officially published phone book, wild.)
But if you're homeless, or crashing on a couch, you don't have a lot of options. This can be easy if you're on parole, most parole agents would mail a letter from the state without fuss. Some are assholes though. But you don't have a lot of choices. Sometimes charities can make this work too. If you're homeless, some charities can vouch for this status for you, which covers your residency as well as reduces the cost of your ID.
Ok you have all the documentation, eventually, now what? Well depending on where you are in the state you might need an appointment for the Secretary of State office (aka the DMV, just called SOS here). If not, you're probably in a more rural area, though some smaller cities won't have the appointments either. You're just trying to get an ID, not a license so lets say today that you don't need an appt, but now the question is... how far away from the nearest SoS office are you? My current address is exactly equidistant (in travel time) between two offices in two different cities, both a 20-minute car ride away. Do you have a car? Or access to the bus? You may be limited to going when your family or friends or a charity can drive you.
When you get there you'll have to pay between $0-$20 for your ID. If you have proof of disability, being over 65 or being homeless (that charity verification!) your ID is free. If not, it's $20 bucks ($5 for a kid). And if you lose it, it's $20 to replace it unless it was stolen (unless you're old and then you get a freebie)
15 years ago I was often able to find more work arounds, some of those have been closed, others like fee reductions have been added. But the frustration and indignity of being told you need your birth certificate and social security card to get your ID and you need your ID to get your birth certificate and social security card, especially if you didn't have someone like me to navigate you through it was overwhelming.
And we're talking about folks that don't need ID generally - small neighborhood stores don't card them for cigarettes or alcohol, assuming they're the ones buying it, they're not banked, they're not renting from major companies but private landlords. So they can get by, until they're trying to get a "legit" job not a cash-paying one. They're not flying (10% of Americans don't ever, it's not a thing most people do annually). They're not opening bank accounts. Etc.
If this feels exhausting, it is. I hope I was able to convey that because it's exhausting for my partner with a bank account and a house to find all his documents. (And I haven't even touched on Real ID with more requirements, which is not something most of these populations are looking for but if they can't vote without it in the future... that's just more disenfranchisement)
Made a few clean up edits, may make more if I find typos. I'm ignoring my Grammarly on this one.
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Comment on Liberal projected to win Wisconsin Supreme Court race in blow to Donald Trump in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentRight, my objections at least mostly go out the window if they're free and easily accessible. (And not taken by law enforcement and lost, etc.)Right, my objections at least mostly go out the window if they're free and easily accessible. (And not taken by law enforcement and lost, etc.)
It was at least some movement from the Republican Senators. Idk if McConnell is thinking about legacy or just saying "fuck you" to Trump but maybe Collins and Murkowski just needed an excuse
.. again? Idk.
(No idols, just acknowledgement that they moved, a centimeter. )