DefinitelyNotAFae's recent activity

  1. Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    We're in two different moods about this, so I'm gonna bow out.

    We're in two different moods about this, so I'm gonna bow out.

  2. Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    At the time I replied you hadn't, I saw that you have since but I'm not a time traveler at the moment. We disagree about "y'all" so eh

    At the time I replied you hadn't, I saw that you have since but I'm not a time traveler at the moment.

    We disagree about "y'all" so eh

  3. Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    Yes, I know that. I was speaking to its use in that specific instance where regardless of the assumption the writer and signers did not in fact actually mean everyone. Jefferson didn't think I was...

    Yes, I know that. I was speaking to its use in that specific instance where regardless of the assumption the writer and signers did not in fact actually mean everyone. Jefferson didn't think I was created his equal, he just thought it was a nice thing to say to oppose a king.

    It is, IMO, demonstrative of why there's a difference in the connotation and denotation of the word "men" and why many women may not feel, regardless of the rhetorical flourish or the dictionary definition, that "all men" is actually inclusive of them.
    So yeah I think there is plenty of room to discuss it.

  4. Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    I mean, they (the signers generally and Jefferson specifically) definitely didn't think that all men were created equal, and they didn't include women when it came down to laws or religion, so I...

    I mean, they (the signers generally and Jefferson specifically) definitely didn't think that all men were created equal, and they didn't include women when it came down to laws or religion, so I do question whether "men" is actually universal there as written.

  5. Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    Folks works for me, but idk, because I'm Midwestern maybe? "OK Folks" is up there with "alright everybody" for getting the attention of a big group for me. I pick up a lot of language from the...

    Folks works for me, but idk, because I'm Midwestern maybe? "OK Folks" is up there with "alright everybody" for getting the attention of a big group for me.

    I pick up a lot of language from the people I'm around and subconsciously slide into it around them, so I don't usually notice if I've picked up "y'all" or a more country accent until I'm into it. I can't do it on purpose just fall into it.

  6. Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    It is to you, it's not to other people. Someone else just told you explicitly it's actively going to make her uncomfortable at best. It doesn't make sense to insist it's gender neutral to me while...

    It is to you, it's not to other people. Someone else just told you explicitly it's actively going to make her uncomfortable at best. It doesn't make sense to insist it's gender neutral to me while ignoring her post.

    I don't like making people feel uncomfortable, so I try to avoid it.

  7. Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    People insist "guys" is neutral until you ask them how many "guys" they've fucked. And all of a sudden it's clearly not. I've gotten very good with folks/folx and y'all (no I'm not southern, my...

    People insist "guys" is neutral until you ask them how many "guys" they've fucked. And all of a sudden it's clearly not.

    I've gotten very good with folks/folx and y'all (no I'm not southern, my Illinois friends with family from the south use it and I've long since picked it up) especially in written communication. "You guys" slips out when I'm presenting to large groups and I'm still working on it. But your reasoning is exactly why I'm attentive to it and keep trying.

    1 vote

  8. Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    (edited )
    Link
    What people are actually mad about is that they're judged for being racist. (applies to other areas too). They couch it in "you're turning other people away from your cause" or "learn to take a...

    What people are actually mad about is that they're judged for being racist. (applies to other areas too). They couch it in "you're turning other people away from your cause" or "learn to take a joke" but what they want is an "n-word pass." Because they could say the slur, make the joke, do whatever, they just don't want someone else to disapprove because that makes them feel bad. They don't care about how their words make someone else feel. It's no different than "don't teach slavery as an evil because white kids will feel bad" ignoring how awful those same white kids taking advantage of the teacher approved "pass" to read Huck Finn make black students feel. "It's a classic" they say, "it's canon" they say. "Suck it up" they mean.

    Edited to fix a verb conjugation

    3 votes

  9. Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    Bring back the singular 2nd person, "you" is already plural! (Basically same answer just in the other direction)

    Bring back the singular 2nd person, "you" is already plural! (Basically same answer just in the other direction)

    1 vote

  10. Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    Happens at certain intersections in cities too, or on the weekends. They are thoughtful about it; there are some places it doesn't make sense to stop all cars going one way just in case a car...

    Happens at certain intersections in cities too, or on the weekends. They are thoughtful about it; there are some places it doesn't make sense to stop all cars going one way just in case a car comes but red flashing with yellows on the cross isn't super safe due to visibility or speed or something.

    But I love it. I currently have zero traffic lights in my small town though so I'm unimpacted at home.

    1 vote

  11. Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    The original pride flag had a meaning for each color. Rainbow flag (LGBTQ) - Wikipedia Then pink was hard to get and people forgot. But it wasn't about communities just parts of life.

    The original pride flag had a meaning for each color.

    Rainbow flag (LGBTQ) - Wikipedia

    Then pink was hard to get and people forgot. But it wasn't about communities just parts of life.

    2 votes

  12. Comment on What is your 'Subway Take'? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    Mostly because people get even more pissed when you call them a racist asshole for their Native American Halloween costume/other red face. Also it's from like 1945 academic literature. You don't...
    • Exemplary

    Mostly because people get even more pissed when you call them a racist asshole for their Native American Halloween costume/other red face. Also it's from like 1945 academic literature. You don't have to call it that but it's frustrating to have a game of "you're using the wrong words to point out a problem" over and over again just because other people don't like them. (Ala critical race theory or DEI or whatever.)

    7 votes

  13. Comment on What ridiculous thing would you spend billions on? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    I'm sure there's a Royal Road Serial isekai/litrpg idea here somewhere

    I'm sure there's a Royal Road Serial isekai/litrpg idea here somewhere

    1 vote

  14. Comment on What ridiculous thing would you spend billions on? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    I don't make the rules, the wizard's curse did! I'm just trying to save you from imploding on the sea floor.

    I don't make the rules, the wizard's curse did! I'm just trying to save you from imploding on the sea floor.

  15. Comment on In an extract from their new book, international referee Jonas Eriksson describes how top officials were made to strip down to be weighed and have their body fat checked in ~sports.football

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    I wrote a big long response, but I just don't agree with you, don't feel like correcting where you're misunderstanding a point, and don't think it's worth continuing after here. Feel free to...

    I wrote a big long response, but I just don't agree with you, don't feel like correcting where you're misunderstanding a point, and don't think it's worth continuing after here. Feel free to respond as you like but I'm out at this point.

    The actions they took were exactly the sort any educated professional would expect to cause "weight hysteria" and disordered eating. I think there are multiple other measurements far more useful than percentage of body fat for fitness and that all of this was highly unethical and professionally inappropriate. And I think justifying it with comparisons to the athletes themselves, just misses the point that those situations are also often unhealthy and inappropriate. The fact that this is mostly or all men is another reason I think saying they have to be mentally tough enough to take it is actually highlighting why some group of people thought it was ok to engage in this behavior. Men's mental health and body image aren't supported sufficiently in society and are often disregarded.

    The only thing I'll specifically respond to is that no, I cannot say anything about the author's individual body fat percentage and whether it would be healthier for him to lower that (vs say building muscle or anything else) because I'm not his doctor. These folks didn't seem to care about whether it was "healthier" for him to lower it, they wanted it lowered so he'd look like and allegedly perform better. But I see exactly the opposite of the evidence I'd expect to see from caring about his health.

    1 vote

  16. Comment on What ridiculous thing would you spend billions on? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    I mean I feel like you're not engaging in the spirit of the game by deliberately doing "good" rather than being ridiculous. But I'm tired of pointing it out over and over again. If you don't want...

    I mean I feel like you're not engaging in the spirit of the game by deliberately doing "good" rather than being ridiculous. But I'm tired of pointing it out over and over again. If you don't want to play, and this applies to everyone, I guess just don't.

    Very good yes you found a loophole. Get eaten by an orca, you know? ¯⁠\⁠_⁠ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ⁠_⁠/⁠¯

  17. Comment on What ridiculous thing would you spend billions on? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    No worries, I think many if not most of or all of us here would want to actually do good with that kind of money. I wanted to encourage the playfulness this time. ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

    No worries, I think many if not most of or all of us here would want to actually do good with that kind of money. I wanted to encourage the playfulness this time.

    ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

  18. Comment on What ridiculous thing would you spend billions on? in ~talk

  19. Comment on What ridiculous thing would you spend billions on? in ~talk

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    Sure, in the real world but this is the "wizard cursed you with billions you must waste" world. If you don't play by the rules of the curse, you automatically become the kind of person no one...

    Sure, in the real world but this is the "wizard cursed you with billions you must waste" world.

    If you don't play by the rules of the curse, you automatically become the kind of person no one mourns when orcas capsize your yacht. It's a chance to be silly, on purpose. Take advantage of that and don't make the curse make you the billionaire that pays someone to make them look good at video games and be locked by everyone for it.

  20. Comment on In an extract from their new book, international referee Jonas Eriksson describes how top officials were made to strip down to be weighed and have their body fat checked in ~sports.football

    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link Parent
    Hyperbole, but "a few" other metrics for fitness would have worked just fine. The description of the whole thing sounds like it became a weight loss/body fat focused thing to the exclusion of all...

    Not really... there are maybe a few, not dozens. Evaluating referee performance in terms of their decisions is much more of an art than a science, and it would have been even more so in the era before VAR. So much in football is always undeniably subjective.

    Hyperbole, but "a few" other metrics for fitness would have worked just fine. The description of the whole thing sounds like it became a weight loss/body fat focused thing to the exclusion of all else. If the ref can keep up with the game, avoid being involved in plays, etc then whether they're carrying extra pounds or have more body fat doesn't actually matter unless you care about how they look.

    I did forget the part you quoted about looking like a top-level referee though.

    That's why I'm saying this was unnecessary.

    They undoubtedly were not lol, though things have improved since then. The time referred to in the book excerpt was when the program was first being implemented.

    Sure, there are issues with disordered eating among professional athletes, especially those with high levels of perfectionism, more so in sports with weight classes or where appearance is part of the judging instead of performance. Soccer players may be socially judged or shamed for their bodies but their performance isn't tied to it like gymnastics. Tying the refs performance to their bodies is not a good thing from this lens either.

    Here's where I have an issue. I'm not doubting your insight with the people you encounter, but the referees in question were in a specific context, doing an elite job where physical stamina is a clear prerequisite, not to mention the mental toughness to deal with potentially being berated by tens of thousands of people. Is that really where concern for eating disorders is likely to be best placed? For someone being encouraged to lose weight at 18% body fat? Come on. Yes, top-level sport on the whole nowadays does sacrifice long-term health for short-term performance, but these people are not making decisions blindly.

    In a thread about refs talking about how horrible it was to be body shamed publicly and have their whole lives revolve around weight loss and such? Yeah I think it's where it's incredibly relevant to express concern about disordered eating. My doing so takes zero funding or resources from DE/ED focus elsewhere.

    And yes someone being publicly shamed for having 18% body fat is 100% part of the actions that lead to disordered eating and depression and any number of things. As for "mental toughness" the implication that being bothered by all of this is somehow not being tough like it's a personal failing, is like calling Simone Biles weak for getting the twisties. Physical stamina isn't the same as body fat percentage. Mental toughness is unrelated to body fat percentage. Plenty of outright fat people get yelled at by tens of thousands of people. How was this ref's performance vs his "look" and why did they care about one vs the other?

    From what I can see, with the knowledge and experience I have, they cared more about appearance than performance and chose a method to achieve that that absolutely was harmful to the people there. I'm sure some of them were unbothered and others were conditioned to STFU and not "whine" - men in particular are told that and people in "elite" jobs that are not secure don't complain lest they lose them - but no, I'd never recommend this for any population. It's not more ok because they're adult men than it is for teen girls.

    2 votes