gowestyoungman's recent activity
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Comment on What do you need to vent about? in ~talk
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Comment on Parenting is not just for pronatalists: the progressive case for raising kids in ~society
gowestyoungman Link ParentSo glad it encouraged you. My son and daughter in law are in exactly that stage, so I try to keep telling them that THIS is the hard part. It WILL get better and life will normalize again. Your...So glad it encouraged you. My son and daughter in law are in exactly that stage, so I try to keep telling them that THIS is the hard part. It WILL get better and life will normalize again. Your bank account will recover. Sex will return to normal levels. You won't be looking at shitty diapers forever. You'll have enough energy to actually go out for a fun evening instead of just trying to recuperate enough to drag your butt back to work tomorrow. Carry on, brave parents! :)
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Comment on Parenting is not just for pronatalists: the progressive case for raising kids in ~society
gowestyoungman Link ParentIm guessing we have wildly different opinions because (and this is just a guess) that you dont have kids and I do, not only 3 bio kids but 3 step kids, and 9 grandchildren. Ive also been a street...Im guessing we have wildly different opinions because (and this is just a guess) that you dont have kids and I do, not only 3 bio kids but 3 step kids, and 9 grandchildren. Ive also been a street youth worker and a principal in a school of 400 kids so my experience with kids and parents is pretty extensive. And all in all, a hugely positive experience. Your experience sounds pretty bitter if I may be so forthright.
You'll note I didnt say that civil rights was selfish, I do believe that's a just cause. I specifically mentioned three movements for a reason. And of course there are gay people who have achieved great things. But even Alan Turing wouldn't be around unless his parents decided to have a child, right?
Overall, reading your post echos this disconnected rich mindset that anyone can plunge into millions of dollars worth of debt and give up a majority of their life because it is the “right” thing to do.
Im not sure where you get the "rich" mindset from. We didnt have kids because we could afford them. We had them because we wanted children. And we were definitely NOT rich - I was a teacher making 20k a year when we had our first and my wife was a stay at home mom. Even when we had the last one I was only making 50k a year and she was still a stay at home mom although she eventually started hairdressing. You dont need to be rich to have kids, you just have to be willing to sacrifice a lot of the material things that society tells you equals 'success'. None of those things - nicer house, car, vacations, investments - mattered nearly as much to us as having children, so that was our priority.
And I dont regret it one bit. At the end of the day all the rest of that stuff turns to dust - but your progeny live on, and go on to change the world, for better or worse. My goal is to try and help them do it for better.
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Comment on Parenting is not just for pronatalists: the progressive case for raising kids in ~society
gowestyoungman LinkI see this played out very actively in real life. There are movements that are almost exclusively pushed by progressive people - women's rights, abortion rights, LGBTQ+ rights in particular...- Exemplary
Researchers have found that becoming a parent activates a “parental caregiving network” in the brain, lighting up areas tied to empathy, emotional processing and social understanding. It happens in both mothers and fathers. For dads especially, the extent of this neurological change is closely tied to how much hands-on caregiving they do. In other words, caregiving rewires our brains to connect more, care more and notice the needs of others.
I see this played out very actively in real life. There are movements that are almost exclusively pushed by progressive people - women's rights, abortion rights, LGBTQ+ rights in particular fighting for 'their rights' as humans. There's nothing inherently wrong with wanting rights, but it can accurately be described as selfishly motivated protest - Give me what I want. Do the things I want you to do. Its about ME. Do what I say.
I have observed many times that people in those protests are by and large young, and not parents, in fact they are likely to eschew parenthood. And I think that's why it's ineffective. Because an inwardly focused protest is bound to fail - the ego is never satisfied and the desire to protest becomes the focus.
Once you become a parent you are forced to realize that a healthy world and a healthy mindset most definitely does not revolve around self, it revolves around others. Parenting is essentially boot camp for learning outward focus, you dont really have a choice.
And once you have that outward focus, the desire to satisfy 'ME' fades away because your life goes in a whole new direction - Your friend group changes as you share much more in common with other parents, so your single friends slowly fade out. Your lifestyle changes as your child becomes the center of planning for what's convenient and appropriate and what you have time for. Your finances change as you realize that you cant spend money your child is going to need for necessities. Your work schedule changes, your sleep schedule, your priorities just take a dramatic shift. Life is just very very different.
And as a parent, if you're going to protest something, it better be after the little one is fed, has had her nap, you've packed a bag with diapers, bottles, toys, facecloths, blanket and snacks and you have loaded the stroller, umbrella, sunscreen, water and a half a dozen other things that the little one is likely to need before you head out anywhere. And quite likely, if youre an average human with average energy, you'd rather just stay home because its way too much hassle to bring your kid to a protest anyway.
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Comment on Parenting is not just for pronatalists: the progressive case for raising kids in ~society
gowestyoungman Link ParentOh, I would argue vociferously that is the view of a new(ish) parent. It gets better. MUCH better. The joy of having children is that they grow up. The little one that sucks every ounce of energy...- Exemplary
You will give so much more than you receive it's insane.
Oh, I would argue vociferously that is the view of a new(ish) parent. It gets better. MUCH better.
The joy of having children is that they grow up. The little one that sucks every ounce of energy from your life slowly but surely turns into a child, an adolescent, a young adult and then most gloriously spreads their wings and becomes an independent adult. Its a wonderful thing to see your child succeed in life, and start to achieve the kinds of things you always hoped they would - finding a good job, finding a partner and then, if you're lucky, creating their own child.
And GRANDCHILDREN are the amazing payback for all those years of hard work in the beginning. Because now you get to do all the fun things all over again - like little surprises and presents or camping or days at the beach, but you're not the one who has do all the heavy lifting, planning, or necessarily even paying for it. That's mom and dad's job. You just get to be there to enjoy their joy. And there is little in life much more enjoyable than seeing a child discover something that intrigues them, that fascinates, that makes them bubble over with glee.
And when you tire of them, YOU get to leave and go back to your quiet home while mom and dad have to take them home and put Little Mr. Overtired Crankiness to bed.
Even more wonderfully you get to watch your kids achieve things you never even dreamed of. I've watched one of mine get her Ph.D, and THEN after all that work, become an MD. Then marry an MD and have two fantastic little boys. Ive watched another start her own business and then grow it and become one of the most sought after entrepreneurs in her city. Another not only became a teacher but won a national award for excellence in teaching. And they all continue to be amazingly great humans, contributing to the world in a positive way as they continue to grow. And now I get to see them instill those values in their own children. It's very rewarding.
If I sound like Im bragging, its because I am. I love my kids, I think they're all wonderful humans and I can't wait to see what their kids do next. I know the first 5 years in particular are ridiculously exhausting, I remember the near death from fatigue too well, but it IS worth it in the end. If ever there was a model for delayed gratification, having a kid is it.
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Comment on Johnny Depp says he has “no regrets” about Amber Heard trial and was a “crash test dummy for #MeToo” in ~movies
gowestyoungman LinkDont really care to weigh in on what the trial meant for whatever movement, but whenever there's a divorce case, especially one this public, I just think about the poor kids. Depp has a couple...Dont really care to weigh in on what the trial meant for whatever movement, but whenever there's a divorce case, especially one this public, I just think about the poor kids. Depp has a couple older kids and its gotta tear them up to see their parent/step parent go through this crap. Kids are resilient but there's no denying that divorce is one of the worst things to affect them and often leads to all kinds of issues in adulthood, including their own ability to trust and form lasting intimate relationships.
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Comment on Satisfiers vs maximizers in ~talk
gowestyoungman Link ParentWell wait til my wife hears she's been using the wrong word... Course, she'll be satisfied with her old word.Well wait til my wife hears she's been using the wrong word... Course, she'll be satisfied with her old word.
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Comment on Satisfiers vs maximizers in ~talk
gowestyoungman Link ParentYou won't go wrong with Ego. We have the weed whipper and the leaf blower and both work very well. I like their product so much I'm actually kind of intrigued with buying their electric minibike...You won't go wrong with Ego. We have the weed whipper and the leaf blower and both work very well.
I like their product so much I'm actually kind of intrigued with buying their electric minibike "for the grandkids"
https://egopowerplus.com/power-plus-mini-bike-mb1000/
I mean, it comes with two batteries so my wife (who loves doing yardwork) won't ever run out of weed eater batteries, right? I'm quite thoughtful that way 😉 -
Satisfiers vs maximizers
Id never heard the terms satisfier or maximizer til I was having a discussion with my then girlfriend about the difference in the way we select things. The difference became apparent when she...
Id never heard the terms satisfier or maximizer til I was having a discussion with my then girlfriend about the difference in the way we select things. The difference became apparent when she wanted to buy a new lawnmower. We walked into a big box store, she looked at a row of 10 mowers and said "I want that one" pointing at the second one. Being a maximizer I thought she meant that was her first choice out of the 10 options here but obviously we had two more stores and many more options to check out.
Nope.
She meant she had looked them over in 2 minutes and THAT mower was her final choice.
I honestly was quite surprised. "You don't wanna shop around? Compare features? Compare prices?" No, that's not what satisfiers do. Satisfiers just find the first thing that satisfies their needs and go with it.
Which is why my wife can select anything and everything very quickly and I end up making a spreadsheet to do a thorough cost benefit analysis on anything important. I even had one when I was dating for every woman I went out for coffee. And fortunately, she didn't - she just started reverse alphabetically and since my username was near the end of the alphabet I won the luck of the draw.
And here we are happily celebrating our 15th anniversary next week. Who says you gotta be the same to be compatible lol?
Are you a satisfier or a maximizer?
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Comment on Where do you go to veg out online? in ~tech
gowestyoungman Link ParentI use old.reddit with Firefox. With adguard blocker, bitwarden, privacy badger, unlock origin extensions and get no ads.I use old.reddit with Firefox. With adguard blocker, bitwarden, privacy badger, unlock origin extensions and get no ads.
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Comment on The real reasons your appliances die young in ~tech
gowestyoungman Link ParentI'll definitely vote for the stripped down low end appliance any day. We own at least half a dozen sets of washers, dryers, fridges, stoves and dishwashers for our rentals. I buy the most basic...I'll definitely vote for the stripped down low end appliance any day. We own at least half a dozen sets of washers, dryers, fridges, stoves and dishwashers for our rentals. I buy the most basic Whirlpool/Amana/Sears appliances I can because its far cheaper to just toss them if they break than pay the repair guy. Plus the old school top load washing machines are nearly indestructible. I have several that have gone over 10 years without a service call. Forget those silly bluetooth connected, 18 button, 500 combinations for washers and dryers. Washed is washed and dry is dry, it doesnt need bluetooth.
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Comment on The Onion calls out ‘cowardice’ of US Congress in full-page New York Times ad in ~society
gowestyoungman Link ParentI would think that a president unilaterally bombing another nation should cause a heck of a lot more than "unease" Seems so ineffective. And yes, there are elections, but he's barely into his...I would think that a president unilaterally bombing another nation should cause a heck of a lot more than "unease" Seems so ineffective.
And yes, there are elections, but he's barely into his mandate. Are Americans going to wait almost 4 years to say enough is enough? Also seems very ineffective, especially since he seems to ignore the courts or anyone else trying to reign him in.
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Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
gowestyoungman LinkDid some renovations on a basement suite (changed some lights, installed a custom desk, changed a toilet, framed a bathroom mirror, touched up paint, fixed a doorbell, hired a contractor to change...Did some renovations on a basement suite (changed some lights, installed a custom desk, changed a toilet, framed a bathroom mirror, touched up paint, fixed a doorbell, hired a contractor to change the bathtub) and advertised, showed it and got it rented to a great tenant. Very satisfying to see someone praise the look and feel of a comparatively inexpensive suite and say its the nicest one they've seen.
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Comment on The Onion calls out ‘cowardice’ of US Congress in full-page New York Times ad in ~society
gowestyoungman LinkI was contemplating this yesterday - WHY in 2025 is everyone else BUT Congress held so accountable? Your pizza driver wants to know what he's rated and he's gonna apologize if you give him a bad...I was contemplating this yesterday - WHY in 2025 is everyone else BUT Congress held so accountable? Your pizza driver wants to know what he's rated and he's gonna apologize if you give him a bad comment. Every $1 pen seller on Amazon wants to know if you're happy with your purchase. Your kid's school, the local barbershop, even town council wants to hear your thoughts and they WILL respond if you have a legitimate beef because they know how much hassle an honest, well written complaint can hurt them, especially if it goes viral and many others jump on with their own stories.
But Congress? Just crickets. Thousands marching in the streets for No Kings, millions around the world protesting the bombing of Iran, emails, phone calls... doesnt seem to phase them. WHY does your grocer have to care about your thoughts but the US Administration can just ignore them?
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Comment on Anyone know the closest Canada has political commentary content like the US? in ~society
gowestyoungman (edited )LinkI really enjoy Peter Mansbridge's podcast Good Talk. He has two guests and they discuss events of the week in a relaxed but professional way. No hype just well informed opinions from seasoned...I really enjoy Peter Mansbridge's podcast Good Talk. He has two guests and they discuss events of the week in a relaxed but professional way. No hype just well informed opinions from seasoned journalists.
The Hill Times covers everything that happens on the Hill but is paywalled. I just use archive.is for anything I want to read.
For behind the scenes look from a decidedly conservative viewpoint there's Blacklock's Reporter. They scoop a LOT of news that never makes it to the mainstream press. Sometimes its quite shocking the stuff they dig up that never makes the 'big news corporations'. They are credentialed with the parliamentary press corp. Unfortunately without the 300/yr subscription you only get to read the first few sentences of each report but its still worth reading.
For an overall curated site of most Canadian media you cant beat https://nationalnewswatch.com/
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Comment on US bombers strike nuclear sites in Iran in ~society
gowestyoungman Link ParentWhich is the part I don't get. She was strongly opposed to war and warned everyone that warmongers in the Capitol had pushed the Doomsday clock forward so far the US was on the brink of nuclear...Which is the part I don't get. She was strongly opposed to war and warned everyone that warmongers in the Capitol had pushed the Doomsday clock forward so far the US was on the brink of nuclear war. And here she is carrying Trump's water. Like what the heck happened??
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Comment on US bombers strike nuclear sites in Iran in ~society
gowestyoungman LinkOne thing that really pisses me off is that the ONE person in the US leadership I used to trust was Tulsi Gabbard. Ive followed her career ever since I moved to Hawaii for a short stint 10 years...One thing that really pisses me off is that the ONE person in the US leadership I used to trust was Tulsi Gabbard. Ive followed her career ever since I moved to Hawaii for a short stint 10 years ago, where she was a House Representative. Then she ran for presidential nominee and didnt gain much traction but she ran an honest campaign much of it critical of American 'endless wars'. I always got the impression that she had a great deal of integrity - and being an active Lieutenant Colonel Reservist who also served in Iraq for 12 months, I knew that when she said she was against more wars it was because she knew exactly how bad things could get.
She clearly stated not that long ago that Iran was NOT close to building nuclear weapons, which obviously and publicly ticked off the Orange Turd. Then just this week she recanted that statement and said that Iran was "weeks away" from having a nuke. Well, Tulsi, how hard did they twist your arm to make you lie like that? The first comment was not made under duress, the second one most definitely was and now you work for the biggest bully on the planet who just bombed Iran, so which statement do you think we know was truthful?
Im really disappointed in her and I have no words for the level of disgust and derision I have for the shithead, draft dodging, meglomaniac who is using a war to distract from his multitude of failures. What an idiot. The US is in deep, deep trouble.
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Comment on Do you like being thrifty? in ~talk
gowestyoungman Link ParentBuying, restoring and selling cars has been my hobby for 45 years so 50 cars isn't really a lot of you have 2 or 3 projects going at a time.Buying, restoring and selling cars has been my hobby for 45 years so 50 cars isn't really a lot of you have 2 or 3 projects going at a time.
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Comment on Do you like being thrifty? in ~talk
gowestyoungman Link ParentI was dumpster diving for a scrap piece of wood about 20 years ago and was quite surprised to find that someone had tossed a Seth Thomas Electric Mantle Clock in the dumpster. I took it home,...I was dumpster diving for a scrap piece of wood about 20 years ago and was quite surprised to find that someone had tossed a Seth Thomas Electric Mantle Clock in the dumpster. I took it home, cleaned it up and repaired a tiny piece of trim that was broken and it looks great, works perfectly. It has multiple chimes for quarter hour and hour chime. Looks very similar to this one
Not super valuable but probably worth $100. I just think its cool old school charm. I think its from the 40's. -
Comment on Reddit in talks to embrace Sam Altman's iris-scanning Orb to verify users in ~tech
gowestyoungman Link ParentI think the tipping point would be if the powers that be (which could be Amazon or Google or the government) get to the point of mandating an iris scan in order to do online business. Ive heard...I think the tipping point would be if the powers that be (which could be Amazon or Google or the government) get to the point of mandating an iris scan in order to do online business. Ive heard the same things about credit cards and debit cards too but its always been optional and cash is still viable. But as online dialogue and scams get worse the hew and cry for SOME kind of verifiable human identity is only going to get stronger. We're still a few years out, but IMHO it would only take one catastrophe to force a quick change. I mean, look at us in Canada - the gov froze people's bank accounts for non violent protests in Ottawa. Definitely something I never thought Id ever see happen here. But it did.
I got 42 votes for a post about parenting at the end of June, which felt flattering considering nothing Ive ever posted here has been upvoted that much.
Then a couple days later I got a week long ban for posting my views about trans kids, views that I felt I expressed carefully and respectfully. After the ban, I wrote deimos asking why the ban and havent had a reply.
I realize this is not a democracy but I thought I was being polite and my views come from a world of experience with kids as a father, grandfather, school principal and the founder of a street outreach to kids thats been running for 30 years. Im not just pulling stuff out of my butt so Im not sure what the problem is.
And Im kinda choked to be frank. Whats the deal, @deimos?