gowestyoungman's recent activity
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Comment on Washington Post cancellations hit 250,000 – 10% of subscribers in ~society
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Comment on What Facebook has done to us in ~tech
gowestyoungman LinkEven in hours of utter boredom, does anyone have the patience to watch a youtube that's over 3 hours long? A high budget, spectacularly directed Hollywood blockbuster rarely achieves that feat.Even in hours of utter boredom, does anyone have the patience to watch a youtube that's over 3 hours long? A high budget, spectacularly directed Hollywood blockbuster rarely achieves that feat.
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Comment on The unlikelihood of being complimented as a man in ~life.men
gowestyoungman Link ParentThat was very kind of you. Thank you.That was very kind of you. Thank you.
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Comment on The unlikelihood of being complimented as a man in ~life.men
gowestyoungman Link ParentThe sports gear thing is real. I am totally a non-sports guy, but during a trip to the US I found and bought a hat that had a Longhorns logo on it. I was quite surprised when a guy in a line up...The sports gear thing is real. I am totally a non-sports guy, but during a trip to the US I found and bought a hat that had a Longhorns logo on it. I was quite surprised when a guy in a line up out of the blue started making comments to me about something and I was scrambling to figure out what he was referring to. I must've looked puzzled, Finally he pointed to my hat and asked if I was a Longhorns fan. He didnt know what to say when I replied. "Nope, I have a big head and this was the only hat I liked that fit" lol. I didnt even know the Longhorns were a team.
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Comment on The unlikelihood of being complimented as a man in ~life.men
gowestyoungman Link ParentYeah, we obviously live very different lives in very different places. I live where the standard daytime 'mens wear' is a pair of insulated coveralls with reflective tape for work, with a hoodie...Yeah, we obviously live very different lives in very different places. I live where the standard daytime 'mens wear' is a pair of insulated coveralls with reflective tape for work, with a hoodie underneath, and after work its boots, jeans and a insulated flannel shirt jacket. Might go all out and put on their 'fancy' sweatshirt with a team logo on it if the wife/gf insists they look better. I honestly haven't seen any of my male friends or acquaintances here ever dressed up in more than a buttoned shirt and that was probably at a funeral. Im sure you live somewhere with a lot more class - which probably isn't the boonies of northern Canada :)
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Comment on The unlikelihood of being complimented as a man in ~life.men
gowestyoungman Link ParentCant speak for all men obviously, but I couldn't care less about being complimented on my clothes. To me thats pretty superficial and meaningless. Now I WOULD be impressed if someone complimented...Cant speak for all men obviously, but I couldn't care less about being complimented on my clothes. To me thats pretty superficial and meaningless.
Now I WOULD be impressed if someone complimented me on what I built. Or what I produced in writing or my art. Or something I invented. Or even something one of my kids accomplished. Heck, just about anything OTHER than what Im wearing. -
Comment on The unlikelihood of being complimented as a man in ~life.men
gowestyoungman Link ParentInteresting, I never thought about it being a rural/urban thing but there's probably something to that. When I lived in the city I had to wear a suit and tie every day, it was policy. Now that I...Interesting, I never thought about it being a rural/urban thing but there's probably something to that. When I lived in the city I had to wear a suit and tie every day, it was policy. Now that I live rural, and retired from professional life, my only concern is that my clothes aren't TOO ripped or stained but I often joke about looking "only slightly homeless today." The good part is that no one cares, we live in near a blue collar town and thats pretty much how everyone dresses.
But on the original comments, what I read was that men dont get complimented much on anything - not just looks. There was a common thought that they felt they were there to provide money or resources, or to be the physically strong one in a hard job but few people saw to compliment them on anything.
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The unlikelihood of being complimented as a man
I read through hundreds of comments on reddit (I know, Ive digressed) on the question 'What would women dislike most if they became men?' The one that hit me square in the face were the thousands...
I read through hundreds of comments on reddit (I know, Ive digressed) on the question 'What would women dislike most if they became men?' The one that hit me square in the face were the thousands of men who agreed that they hadn't been complimented for anything in years.
One commenter said the last time he was complimented was ten years ago and he can still remember the time and the place because it was so unusual. One gut punch even said, "Many men are laying in their casket before many good things are ever said about them" and at first I thought, well that's gotta be hyperbole. But then I thought more about it and realized that while I have had a couple of compliments from my wife over the last year, I dont recall a single other person saying anything complimentary in probably over a year... And I never really thought about it, but its just not something we expect to hear.
It's not like I was waiting for compliments, but I think the statement true - men just rarely get compliments. And I'm not sure why.
I definitely don't compliment my friends very often. Occasionally do compliment my adult son but I'm sure, like most guys, that's pretty infrequent coming from any other male in his life.
It's just a bit odd when I think about how often my wife gets compliments. Or my daughters. Not sure why we men get so little affirmation that way. It really struck me as odd.
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Comment on The collapse of self-worth in the digital age in ~health.mental
gowestyoungman LinkI must confess, I was interested in this article but too impatient to read something so long right now. So I got AI to summarize it: The article explores the impact of the digital age on...I must confess, I was interested in this article but too impatient to read something so long right now. So I got AI to summarize it:
The article explores the impact of the digital age on self-worth, examining how algorithms and social media have transformed how we measure value. It discusses how personal experiences, art, and even friendships are now commodified, with self-worth increasingly determined by external metrics like likes, followers, and engagement stats. The constant drive for validation through digital means creates a never-ending loop of dissatisfaction, alienating individuals from their intrinsic sense of value and self. The piece highlights the challenges of finding meaning in a data-driven, hyper-commercialized world.
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Comment on EV discussion thread in ~transport
gowestyoungman (edited )Link ParentI dont own a Miata but Ive rented one and gone 'canyon carving' for a day so I get the appeal of small, lightweight sports car with responsive steering, great handling and braking in an affordable...I dont own a Miata but Ive rented one and gone 'canyon carving' for a day so I get the appeal of small, lightweight sports car with responsive steering, great handling and braking in an affordable package. I also drive an 81 Vette which definitely isnt small or light but still has that great handling that puts a smile on your face.
Which is exactly why I bought a 2015 Fiat 500e six years ago. And absolutely love it.
Out of all the cars Ive owned (a LOT) the Fiat is right at the top of the list for smiles per mile. It accelerates like a gokart for the first 0-30 mph and loses some oomph after that, but still whips briskly enough up to its governed limit of 88 mph (very Back to the Future-ish)
But what I love even more is that its extremely planted even at top end, mostly because its small, aerodynamic, but all that weight is below the floorboards, making it rock solid. On any pavement at that speed, just a flick of the wrist gets you into another lane but without sway, without any hint of losing traction. Its the closest thing to running a legal gokart on the highway.
And the brakes are phenomenal too. Its mostly regenerative braking at speed til you get down to the last few mph, but its highly effective, giving you great confidence that should a radar gun appear on the horizon, you can safely and very quickly be back to locally approved speeds.
And the fun thing is that it looks, and is, totally innocuous. Ive rolled up to more than one stop light, and seeing a bro in his new engine revving monster motioned that I wanted to drag to the next light. Ive always been met by laughter and when the light turns green I can hear their engines roar as they PLAN to leave me in the dust. Its more than a little fun to watch them disappear behind me as the little Fiat bests them in the 0-30 drag - and of course they start to gain on me after that, but the damage is already done to their egos. I usually just wave as they eventually blow by me a block and a half later, girlfriends staring at their bros and wondering how the hell they picked such a wimp for a boyfriend LOL.
Get a 500e. All the fun you can muster for 5 to 8k or less (in the US). And if you feel the need to stroke your ego you can always give it the 'hot hatch' treatment so it looks as fun as it is: https://i.imgur.com/VeV0cS1.jpeg (an ICE version but the bodies are identical)
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Comment on EV discussion thread in ~transport
gowestyoungman Link ParentDont quite understand the resale plunge on the EV6. Reviews seem to be good, owners are quite happy. Its definitely one of the better looking EVs out there. Yet they sell for 60k brand new here...Dont quite understand the resale plunge on the EV6. Reviews seem to be good, owners are quite happy. Its definitely one of the better looking EVs out there. Yet they sell for 60k brand new here (Canada) and two years later they're 40k. Why?
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Comment on The hardest case for mercy: inside the effort to spare the Parkland school shooter [the death penalty] in ~life
gowestyoungman LinkAn extremely well written and researched piece. The amount of detail was fascinating. Nik Cruz, like every other human on earth, was in a lifelong quest to be accepted and he never was. Not even...An extremely well written and researched piece. The amount of detail was fascinating.
But there was a history inside the “empty box” of Cruz, a life not only shaped by damage done before his birth, but that of a boy in search of everyday desires — to be accepted, to be seen as confident and attractive and tough, to amount to more than an accumulation of problems and disappointments.
Nik Cruz, like every other human on earth, was in a lifelong quest to be accepted and he never was. Not even after both his adoptive parents and his birth mother died:
Cruz and his brother told the defense team that no member of Roger’s or Lynda’s families, including a godparent to Cruz, contacted them after they’d lost both their parents, ignoring their pleas for help or acknowledgement.
His adoptive mother was overwhelmed and delusional about her son at times, having a desperate desire to have a 'normal' child but it seems like someone at the ROTC program should have done some due diligence and recognized that a violent kid with ideations of school shootings should never have been admitted to their program. One more failure in a long line of failures, where a government sponsored program to teach a child how to kill, produced a child killer.
When others tried to make sure Cruz did not join the Parkland school’s Junior ROTC program, Lynda persisted, and Cruz would even be allowed onto the program’s marksmanship team. It’s where he learned to shoot a gun.
Its hard to feel sorry for a mass school shooter, but Cruz had more than his fair share of evil inflicted upon him too:
In the 911 call, Cruz said he’d been assaulted by one of the neighbor’s sons, a boy he’d later say had repeatedly sexually assaulted him in childhood. He called from a playground nearby. He was hurt and alone, he told the dispatcher “The thing is, I lost my mother a couple days ago, so, like, I’m dealing with a bunch of things right now,” he said in the call.
Probably most fascinating was learning that although they were his defense team, the lawyers were not immune to the pain that Cruz caused. One member of the team, Maney the ex-cop fantasized about killing him in prison:
It was hard for Maney, who in his career had trained police forces from Bogota to Tokyo, not to feel vengeful when he met Cruz in the jail. Alone with a mass murderer, he entertained thoughts of killing him inside the jail and being done with it.
And lead lawyer Secor, in spending three days with the father of 18 yr old victim Meadow Pollack, voiced his feelings about how would have killed Cruz if he knew what was about to happen:
“I said, ‘If I had been in Parkland that day and I had a crystal ball and I knew it was going to happen, I’d have taken my Remington deer rifle to the roof of the 1200 Building, and when Nik stepped out of the Uber, I'd have blown his fucking brains out right there, and it wouldn't have bothered me at all.’”
The lawyers did their job. Doesnt sound like any of it was enjoyable or without deep stress, but they did what lawyers are required to do.
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Comment on Help on deciding whether to stay with a low cost simple life, or to "live life to the fullest" in ~life
gowestyoungman LinkI dont see a car as an expense. Its a 'freedom machine'. Want to visit a friend who lives 100 miles away? Make the decision and be on the road 5 minutes later. Sure, you can rent a car, but that...I dont see a car as an expense. Its a 'freedom machine'.
Want to visit a friend who lives 100 miles away? Make the decision and be on the road 5 minutes later. Sure, you can rent a car, but that destroys spontaneity right there. Spontaneous trips spark joy and life is about finding as much joy as you can. -
Comment on Columbus Blue Jackets' Johnny Gaudreau killed in NJ crash involving suspected drunk driver in ~sports.hockey
gowestyoungman Link ParentHe killed two brothers, destroyed their sister's wedding (supposed to happen the next day), ruined a family, and I'M dehumanizing by calling him an asshole? Im not going to sugarcoat a murderer. I...He killed two brothers, destroyed their sister's wedding (supposed to happen the next day), ruined a family, and I'M dehumanizing by calling him an asshole? Im not going to sugarcoat a murderer.
I have worked with the street population in person, for five years. I know addiction issues firsthand and obviously Ive experienced them very directly in my own family. I am of the VERY firm conviction that calling "Substance Abuse Disorder" a mental illness is another way that we downplay personal responsibility. Its just wrong.
eg. Schizophrenia is a mental illness. You are born with it and you do not need to do anything to 'activate' it, it just happens. You cant stop it no matter how hard you try. There is no 'cure' for it.
Drinking til you're drunk is NOT a mental illness. You are not born with it. You need to make the ACTIVE choice to drink and keep drinking to 'activate' it, it doesn't happen by itself. You CAN stop it, millions of people have. And there is a cure for it, but it involves personal responsibility, discipline and diligence for the rest of one's life - something MANY people choose to ignore and blame on their "disorder"
I stand firmly by the credo: "Once is a mistake, twice is a choice, three times is a habit" Alcoholics are alcoholics by CHOICE.
And yes, I am indeed angry. Killing innocent people because someone cant make the decision to stop drinking doesnt need to be acceptable in our society anymore. The costs are too great.
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Comment on Columbus Blue Jackets' Johnny Gaudreau killed in NJ crash involving suspected drunk driver in ~sports.hockey
gowestyoungman Link ParentHis parents lost two sons on the same day, just out for a bike ride. And Im sure the wedding isnt going to go as planned. What a gut wrenching day for that family. Just horrible. And further to my...His parents lost two sons on the same day, just out for a bike ride. And Im sure the wedding isnt going to go as planned. What a gut wrenching day for that family. Just horrible.
And further to my post about alcohol and how glibly its treated - f*** drunk drivers. Look how much grief this poor excuse of a human being caused because he couldn't stop putting a bottle to his lips. This happens THIRTY TIMES A DAY in the US. More than once a hour, a family is being informed that they have lost a loved one because some asshole cant stop drinking. If it were a disease causing that much death and destruction we'd be shutting down the country til we found out what was causing it and how to stop it. But nope, we just keep advertising what a 'good time' you can have when you drink. INSANITY.
I hope that driver gets a life sentence.
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Comment on Wells Fargo employee in Arizona found dead at her desk four days after clocking in in ~life
gowestyoungman Link ParentI used to work in a position where it was easy to lean forward over my desk and take a my 10 minute power nap which I often did during my noon hour after an exhausting morning. I can easily see my...I used to work in a position where it was easy to lean forward over my desk and take a my 10 minute power nap which I often did during my noon hour after an exhausting morning. I can easily see my co-worker in the next office thinking I was just taking a nap and not disturbing me. Hopefully they'd check on me after an hour or two though.
I cant believe this poor employee wasnt discovered til they started to decompose and smell. Ug. How sad.
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Comment on I hate alcohol. Totally hate it. in ~talk
gowestyoungman (edited )LinkJust ANOTHER reason I hate alcohol and how glibly its treated:...Just ANOTHER reason I hate alcohol and how glibly its treated: https://abc7.com/post/hockey-player-johnny-gaudreau-brother-matthew-killed-after-being-struck-vehicle-salem-county-new-jersey/15247214/
We're only hearing about it because this guy was famous but this happens EVERY day, with 31 people killed by a drunk driver in the US. Thats 11000 families that hear this terrible news every year. Horrible!
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Comment on What things do you have are surprisingly good / handy? in ~life
gowestyoungman LinkMy relatively cheap Ryobi (Home Depot brand) cordless tools. Ryobi started out with a drill and a power saw and their product line keeps expanding and they have dozens of tools now. Im not buying...My relatively cheap Ryobi (Home Depot brand) cordless tools. Ryobi started out with a drill and a power saw and their product line keeps expanding and they have dozens of tools now.
Im not buying them all but I have the 18v drill, driver, power saw, reciprocating saw, jigsaw, chainsaw, weed whipper, lawn mower and I just bought their grinder. I cant believe how many times I've used them in the last 8 years. Like at least a 2 to 3 times a week and even with heavy use (abuse) Ive only burned out a drill and a reciprocating saw. My brother is a pro carpenter and he has all the same stuff in Milwaukee brand but he pays four times the money for them. Not even worth it in my view.
SO convenient to have cordless tools when you have several batteries and you can just keep working continuously while charging. I still have some corded versions of the same tools as backups but they only get used when Ive forgotten to charge any of the batteries.
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Comment on Teachers, how has Covid-19 affected your students and classes long term? in ~life
gowestyoungman LinkMy relative was asked to start an online school just before the school year started in the middle of covid. With a herculean effort he managed to get it up and running in less than 2 weeks and...My relative was asked to start an online school just before the school year started in the middle of covid. With a herculean effort he managed to get it up and running in less than 2 weeks and refine it over the school year.
He said that engagement was extremely varied - from kids who eagerly did online assignments as soon as they got up in the morning, and completing them early in the day, sometimes with parental engagement, to some kids who disappeared off the radar for the entire school year. When they did zoom classes there were the kids who wanted to answer every question (just like in the classroom) and those who said they were too 'shy' to even turn on their camera (but were likely playing video games on another monitor lol)
The school division had no easy way to track down the AWOL kids and they missed an entire year because their parents didnt care and weren't at all interested in their education. Obviously those kids were WAY behind for the next school year.
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Comment on I hate alcohol. Totally hate it. in ~talk
gowestyoungman (edited )Link ParentThanks, And yes I wrote that in a day of frustration which is born from watching my wife go through the pain of trying to support her child AGAIN, after years of this emotional turmoil. Im angry...Thanks, And yes I wrote that in a day of frustration which is born from watching my wife go through the pain of trying to support her child AGAIN, after years of this emotional turmoil. Im angry with her deceased ex too. That man screwed over his kids SO badly and if there's one thing I deeply believe is that you protect and care for your kids at all costs. He most definitely did not and while I understand that 'hurt people hurt people' I also believe that there comes a point in your mid life where you can no longer use childhood trauma as an excuse. He never got to that point and decided to rather check out. It was a cowardly act from a weak man. Maybe some day I will forgive him for his weakness and abuse but that day isnt here yet.
My stepkid is deeply damaged and is already in therapy. We've been to AlAnon and we'll go again if we need to. The other kids are doing ok, at least externally - one isn't even a drinker and the other seems to have stable relationships and a good career and able to drink moderately. But we have ALL been emotionally spent by the emotional outbursts, the constant chaos, the constant need for support. There will be healing as things go forward and we're not opposed to seeking professional help if need be. For now, my 'vent' here on Tildes has been helpful for me and I appreciate the feedback and constructive comments.
Im confused. I dont understand how NOT endorsing a candidate is a bad thing. The media was never supposed to be biased, at least back in the day, it reported the news as best it could, from all viewpoints and left the decision making up to the reader. So why is it a big deal to not endorse a candidate. Seems like a step in the right direction back to proper journalism.