Urdabrunnr's recent activity
-
Comment on ‘Mitzvah night is cancelled’. Inside the sex strike that has infuriated husbands and shaken the ultra-Orthodox world. in ~life.women
-
Comment on What's the big deal about running a half marathon? in ~life
Urdabrunnr LinkI'll chime in here from the perspective of both someone who has run half and full marathons as well as someone whose partner does a lot of time consuming athletic activities. The reason that...I'll chime in here from the perspective of both someone who has run half and full marathons as well as someone whose partner does a lot of time consuming athletic activities.
The reason that running is cool is that anyone can do it (aside from the obvious situations of injury/disability), but not many people actually do. It can be very monotonous (I mean, you're just continually putting one foot in front of the other for miles upon miles), but strangely intense and rewarding. The first time I ran a half marathon I was amazed at how I simultaneously felt amazing but also aware that I probably couldn't run any further. My body had reached its max distance based on the level of fitness that I currently possessed. When I finally ran a full marathon I felt amazing for 20 miles, and then experienced some of the worst suffering I've ever endured for 6.2 miles (and those 2 tenths of a mile are the longest distance you will ever subjectively experience). The following day I could barely walk, I couldn't go up stairs, and even stepping up onto a curb was painful. And yet, I had a sense of accomplishment that I have found hard to match elsewhere in my life.
As to the in-the-moment experience, you do get a great endorphin rush, sometimes during the run (called "second wind"), but always after. You feel amazing even if you're 30 pounds overweight and haven't run in 6 months. I find it hard to match that sense of well-being with other forms of exercise. The main thing, though, is that it is 100% a psychological battle of you against yourself. Especially when you get towards the limit of your personal capabilities, you are having to overcome your own desire to stop with every consecutive step. "15 more miles" "One more mile" becomes "just get to the next corner" which becomes "just keep moving my feet." I have found that my ability to persevere in running has given me resiliency in other aspects of my life, including my mental health. This is in addition to the aforementioned sense of well-being.
My partner runs and hikes a lot (emphasis). She has run several marathons, and she qualified for (very important distinction from those who "purchase" entry through fundraising) and ran Boston this year. She also does mountaineering (has climbed several >14k peaks), and crazy long hikes (she does the Wildwood Trail in Portland every year, which is over 30 miles, in one day). I support her and find joy in what she does simply because she loves it. She is happier when she is able to do these things, and she gets depressed when she isn't able to. Granted, I think that I appreciate what she does more because I have done some of the same things.
-
Comment on What are your thoughts on how a vet should interact with a dog? in ~life.pets
Urdabrunnr Link ParentYes. One of us is in the room with him for every visit. The idea is to both get him more comfortable in the environment of the clinic, but also to help him build trust with the vet techs. We have...Yes. One of us is in the room with him for every visit. The idea is to both get him more comfortable in the environment of the clinic, but also to help him build trust with the vet techs. We have a couple of techs that he sees consistently, so whenever he needs to go to the clinic for any reason it is someone that he knows and trusts that meets him. Consequently, we can do a lot of the regular care stuff (vaccines mainly) without needing to sedate him. When he sees the actual veterinarian, he may or may not be sedated depending on what needs to be done. Even for the sedation visits, having the calming presence of a tech that he knows is very important. The first time we tried to do a sedation visit, there was a scheduling mix-up and one of his trusted techs wasn't there. He was so stressed out that his adrenaline burned straight through the sedation (he never fell asleep, even after a second dose), and we had to schedule an entirely new appointment.
-
Comment on What are your thoughts on how a vet should interact with a dog? in ~life.pets
Urdabrunnr Link ParentHa! My partner is French, so she would definitely love if the doctor's office had cheese, especially if it came with baguette.Ha! My partner is French, so she would definitely love if the doctor's office had cheese, especially if it came with baguette.
-
Comment on What are your thoughts on how a vet should interact with a dog? in ~life.pets
Urdabrunnr Link ParentThis specific clinic is a "fear free" (which I guess is some kind of certification) clinic. I would imagine that other clinics that advertise "fear free " would do the same thing. We live in a...This specific clinic is a "fear free" (which I guess is some kind of certification) clinic. I would imagine that other clinics that advertise "fear free " would do the same thing. We live in a major west coast city, so our choices are more numerous, and the general attitude towards is more progressive, I suppose.
-
Comment on What are your thoughts on how a vet should interact with a dog? in ~life.pets
Urdabrunnr Link ParentOh, I didn't see it as criticism at all. In fact, I have often shared your sense of frustration and impatience - my partner even more so. Like I said, if it weren't for our reactive dog, we'd...Oh, I didn't see it as criticism at all. In fact, I have often shared your sense of frustration and impatience - my partner even more so. Like I said, if it weren't for our reactive dog, we'd still be going to the other (old school vet), because despite his more businesslike approach, that clinic was walking distance from our house and was absolutely amazing at communication and making room for emergency visits. The new clinic, even though it handles our reactive dog much better, is almost impossible to make appointments at (super busy and not great at communicating).
-
Comment on What are your thoughts on how a vet should interact with a dog? in ~life.pets
Urdabrunnr LinkThis is such a great question, and one which gets right at the heart of our dogs' experiences with veterinarians. We have two dogs, both of which were adopted as puppies (8 weeks) from the humane...This is such a great question, and one which gets right at the heart of our dogs' experiences with veterinarians. We have two dogs, both of which were adopted as puppies (8 weeks) from the humane society. Both are mixed breeds with no evidence of trauma or abuse in their past. Our first dog, a female pit/lab/who knows what mix, is the sweetest, most trusting dog. We took her to the local vet (2 minute walk) and didn't think anything of it. I'm guessing that this vet would fall into the "old school" category, based on above descriptions. We would drop her off, the vet would do the things (this was during COVID, so we couldn't go inside), and we would pick her up. Now, she was never happy about it (fear/anxiety expressions when we dropped her off), but she never evidenced aggression. In fact, the vet would often laugh that she would stand like a statue throughout the whole process. He was definitely aware that she wasn't happy, but hey, who likes to go to the doctor? We heard different stories from neighbors whose dogs loved going to the vet, but that was never our experience. Did it have to do with this vet's approach? Maybe? Was he harmful or abusive to the dogs? Definitely not.
Introduce dog number two. This little guy (who ended up being way bigger than we thought he was going to be) is supposedly a husky/mini pinscher mix (the logistics of that breeding will make your brain hurt). He quickly bonded with big sis, and up until about 5 months was a pretty much normal dog. He went through the same positive reinforcement training as his sister, and proved to be a smart and lovable dog, even if a little more anxious around other dogs. At right around 5 months, something changed. He started showing significant signs of reactivity towards both dogs and humans, and the way that we discovered this was through a "failed" vet visit. He had already been to this same "old school" vet once for his initial checkup/round of vaccines, and he was coming back for round 2. About 5 minutes after I dropped him off (a year later they still weren't letting people into the building), I got a call from the vet office asking if he had ever shown signs of aggression. Yes, we had noticed some anxiety, but never any aggressive behavior (lunging/biting/etc.), and I told the vet office this this. Okay, no problem, we'll just let him calm down and try again. 20 minutes after that I got a call directly from the veterinarian. They have to cancel the visit. He won't let anyone come near him, and has already tried to bite the vet (who was wearing anti-bite gloves, so no harm done). I drive back to the clinic expecting to pick up a mindless monster, and instead I picked up a very stressed and very scared puppy. To be clear, I don't think the vet or anyone at the office tried to hurt or abuse him. In fact, I'm guessing that he was handled the same way that every other single dog that comes through that clinic is handled - no nonsense, get it done quick and get it over with. It simply just doesn't work for this dog.
In the end, and after a lot of debate about spending a ridiculous amount of money on a pet behavioralist (which are amazing but very expensive), we decided to try a different vet. A coworker of my partner's told her about the vet that they take their dogs to which is "fear free." I am naturally suspicious of anything with "branding," but we didn't have anything to lose. What we encountered is what has already been described in this thread as "new school." Before we could set up an actual appointment with the vet herself, we took our reactive dog to "desensitization visits" where a vet tech would just throw cheese at him for 20 minutes. After the 3rd or 4th visit (which cost money but were still significantly less than even the intro meeting for the behavioralist) he let the vet tech get close enough to pet him. All of the staff were trained in the ways previously described (averting the gaze, non-threatening movement and postures, etc.). Despite all of these efforts, he still had to be sedated for his actual visit with the veterinarian so that she could do a full examination along with vaccines and a blood draw. We also had them trim his nails.
The end result? Both of our dogs like going to the vet. They're still both nervous, but the older female willingly enters the office, sits on the scale, and lets the vet examine her. Granted, when they have to draw blood or give her a shot, she assumes the "statue" posture, but immediately gives kisses to the person treating her. The younger male will probably have to continue to be sedated for actual appointments, but absolutely adores going to the clinic, because he knows that it means that people will stuff cheese in his face. I should add that, in addition to changing vets, we have also spent a lot of time and energy on reactivity training. It has been painstakingly slow with numerous setbacks (darn you adolescence!), but we are seeing significant results in his behavior and reactivity. Taking him to "desensitization visits" is a double win of introducing him to the staff of the clinic while also getting cheap (not free) reactivity training with new people.
Knowing that we can have medical care done to our dogs without traumatizing them or putting the staff at risk is a huge thing for us. Do we get impatient with them sometimes? Oh absolutely! Especially with the non-reactive female, there have been several times where I've had to say to the tech "okay, I'm just going to hold her and you come give her the shot," because they'd been waiting for my dog to not look anxious (you try not looking anxious when someone starts waving a syringe around). Spending $30 and driving 20 minutes just to have someone throw cheese at your dog definitely feels a little bit crazy as well. That being said, for all of these faults, there is no way we would go back to our "old school vet." It is not a critique of that method (honestly, if we hadn't gotten the second dog, we'd still be going to that same vet). However, for reactive dogs like ours the "new school" method is the only option.
I was raised/currently participate in a progressive mainline Christian denomination, and I am flabbergasted by the constant and seemingly singular obsession of of conservative/fundamentalist/evangelical Christianity with sex. If you look at all of the current hot-button issues that evangelical Christians fixate on, every single one of them connects back to sex--abortion, homosexuality, transgenderism--it's all sex. You could even make a strong argument that the rabid defense of second amendment rights is directly related to guns as phallic symbols and/or the need to "defend their women" (emphasis on the possessive). It's almost as if the entire modern evangelical movement is a reaction to the modernization of sexual ethics and/or the liberation of women from sexual ownership by their spouse. And when you realize that the amount of content in the Bible (OT/Hebrew Bible included) that is dedicated to discussing sexual ethics (albeit in an ancient iron age society) is infinitesimal compared to that which addresses social and economic justice, it is not in the least bit surprising to me that the vast majority of younger Americans have decided to leave religion, and especially Christianity, behind.