16 votes

Hell is other people's home decor

9 comments

  1. vord
    Link
    Just was house hunting. Did this exact thing, imagine the story of a house. My favorite was the Mallard Murder house. It was very creepy/odd to start....then just 1 room full of wooden ducks....

    Just was house hunting. Did this exact thing, imagine the story of a house.

    My favorite was the Mallard Murder house. It was very creepy/odd to start....then just 1 room full of wooden ducks. Musta been 50+ of them.

    We wanted to tour the house just to ask the listing agent with a straight face "Are those ducks structural? Do they come with the house?"

    7 votes
  2. [7]
    etiolation
    Link
    Will this trend never end? I was dreaming on realtor.com and woke up inside this nightmare. Style—even of this kind—has a great effect on me. The 2012-ness this home overwhelmed me, prompting me...

    Will this trend never end?

    I was dreaming on realtor.com and woke up inside this nightmare. Style—even of this kind—has a great effect on me. The 2012-ness this home overwhelmed me, prompting me to seek revenge by narrating a parody tour. Maybe I should have waited to post this as my submission to this month's Tildes Writing Club (which you should consider joining), but I already have another production in the hopper, and this needed exorcising.

    I welcome feedback! I want to know if this presentation is effective (it's just the photos from the listing juxtaposed with my text). If you have any idea where to place it (publish online), I would be obliged for your suggestion.

    "If These Walls Could Talk"
    {Trigger warning: word art}

    6 votes
    1. [6]
      cfabbro
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      It was incredibly amusing and creepy. And I love the scifi horror vibe of it... but your first paragraph is surprisingly not that far-fetched, actually. My sister just sold her house last week,...

      It was incredibly amusing and creepy. And I love the scifi horror vibe of it... but your first paragraph is surprisingly not that far-fetched, actually. My sister just sold her house last week, and their realtor suggested they install a "security" camera on the front door, with the real purpose being so they could listen in on the prospective buyers conversation as they entered and exited the house.

      Thankfully they sold the house to the first person who viewed it, before it was even publicly listed, so they didn't go through with that. However, the fact that the realtor thought that was perfectly normal/acceptable behavior, was totally transparent about the real purpose of it, and my sister was even open to the idea, totally creeped me out. IOT = RIP, privacy.

      4 votes
      1. [4]
        etiolation
        Link Parent
        Thank you very much. That realtor's suggestion is unconscionable and, depending on where it took place, likely illegal. The proliferation of Amazon's eyes really disturbs me, even without...

        Thank you very much.
        That realtor's suggestion is unconscionable and, depending on where it took place, likely illegal. The proliferation of Amazon's eyes really disturbs me, even without considering the fact that they routinely pass video along to law enforcement without requiring a warrant. At this point, a Ring camera and American flag are such an iconic and ubiquitous pair, they really ought to package them together inside a kissable boot.

        6 votes
        1. [2]
          Thrabalen
          Link Parent
          Oddly enough, my very left-wing (well, center-left... this is America) self wants a security camera pointed to the street from the front door. Not a Ring (or anything else smart connected to...

          Oddly enough, my very left-wing (well, center-left... this is America) self wants a security camera pointed to the street from the front door. Not a Ring (or anything else smart connected to anyone but me), but just to serve as a window to the street from anywhere in the house I happen to be.

          2 votes
          1. etiolation
            Link Parent
            An actual security camera is altogether better than a data ingest point for Amazon. However, I think there are good reasons to train it on your front porch only. Some things I want people to be...

            An actual security camera is altogether better than a data ingest point for Amazon. However, I think there are good reasons to train it on your front porch only. Some things I want people to be able to do in public view in my neighborhood without being recorded:

            liberate a wedgie
            buy drugs that should be legal
            buy drugs that are legal
            undertake an assignation
            stare awkwardly at someone else's front porch
            have a bad hair day
            display valuable bio-metric data

            6 votes
        2. cfabbro
          (edited )
          Link Parent
          IANAL, but AFAIK, installing video surveillance on your own property is not illegal here in Canada (unless restricted by local bylaws), so long as it only points at your own property, or nearby...

          IANAL, but AFAIK, installing video surveillance on your own property is not illegal here in Canada (unless restricted by local bylaws), so long as it only points at your own property, or nearby public property, and your intent is to secure and protect your family or property. At the same time, it is also illegal to record a private conversation without consent here, but whether a conversation had on your doorstep counts as private is not entirely clear, and so residential door cameras with built-in audio recording (e.g. Ring doorbells) are currently in a bit of an unchallenged, legal grey area right now as a result... which is likely exactly why the realtor framed it the way they did, as installing a "security" camera *wink wink*.

          1 vote
      2. Omnicrola
        Link Parent
        There's a house a few doors down that recently went up for sale, and there have been cars lining the street from 4-7 every evening this week. People are standing around the sidewalk, waiting for...

        There's a house a few doors down that recently went up for sale, and there have been cars lining the street from 4-7 every evening this week. People are standing around the sidewalk, waiting for the previous group to finish looking through the house (which AFAIK is still being lived in, but they leave when it's time for tours). There was a drone crew out here the day it went up for sale, taking pictures of everything, which was a thing I hadn't witnessed before so that was weird. Now I'm wondering if they have a doorcam.

        3 votes
  3. KapteinB
    Link
    The title "If these walls could talk" made me think of a song by my favourite band, and the lyrics are .... shockingly appropriate.

    The title "If these walls could talk" made me think of a song by my favourite band, and the lyrics are .... shockingly appropriate.

    1 vote