Hunger signals messed up
Over a year ago, I had my heart broken pretty bad. I lost most of my appetite for the week or two after that, and felt a lot of that emotion "in my stomach" for a couple months. And, to be honest, I'm still working through the whole thing.
Coincidentally, I've noticed that my hunger signals have gotten a lot worse since. I used to just listen to my stomach to regulate my eating and that was perfectly fine, but now I find myself fairly regularly eating until I think I'm full then waking up from hunger pangs in the middle of the night or feeling hunger pangs as soon as my head hits the pillow when I try to go to sleep. Albeit, my eating habits aren't super great in general. I'll often eat less out of laziness of not wanting to make extra food or I'll skip a meal every now and then because I'm busy. But I've had those habits for a while and it didn't cause me much trouble before.
I'm wondering if these two things might be related or not. Has anyone perhaps experienced something similar?
I’m similar to you in the sense that I stress-starve, rather than stress-eat. I also have ADHD and just plain ‘forget’ to eat (and to make matters worse, the medication is an appetite suppressant). I’m also frequently nauseous in the morning so I usually skip breakfast. In short, my eating habits are shit.
At one point I was having the same issue of getting ravenously hungry right before bedtime. I never figured the exact reason, but what (I think) eventually helped me were multiple things. It was a process, so I’m ordering this from what I do in stress-starving situations and need to survive, up to the point of getting into the habit of eating better and at regular moments (apologies this will be long):
I know a lot of people are leery of services like UberEats, but it saved me from one of my worse bouts. Just the idea of going out to get ingredients, planning a meal, or making something myself was unbearable. If you need help, get help, in whatever form best helps you get back on track. There’s no shame in doing what you need to do when you’re struggling. Once you’re on your feet, you can think about what you can do better, but build a foundation first.
When I’m in a stress-starving state I make it a point to eat something, anything, whatever my brain is telling me I could remotely enjoy/stomach and is easily accessible. Forget about eating healthy at this point. Brain tells you the only thing it wants is a big heaping spoon of Nutella? Go eat that spoon of Nutella. You can only stomach a few peanuts? Can only drink some broth? Do it. Get your brain back into the habit of eating a bit at a time.
Stocking the pantry with stuff that can make meals stupidly easy and quick, and you enjoy (this is important). I make a salad out of nothing but canned corn, kidney beans, tuna and bottled salad dressing. I get frozen meals I can just pop into the microwave. Here’s a cookbook you can download for free with a bunch of super simple recipes for when you’re struggling/can’t find time to cook: The Sad Bastard Cookbook
Getting kitchen appliances that make cooking easy and more hands-off, like a crockpot, or rice cooker. Save some recipes that are tasty but basically just involve dumping a bunch of ingredients into those and leaving them to do their thing.
Starting to exercise more regularly, specifically weight training. I found that I was getting hungrier way earlier in the day as the muscles continue to burn calories. It’s no longer an option to skip breakfast
Because I have muscle building as a goal, I had to up my calories quite a bit and pay attention to things like how much protein I’m getting. This made me a lot more mindful about what and when I eat. When you realise you still need another several hundred calories at the end of the day and you can’t bear to eat anything else, you learn pretty quickly to spread your meals out in a more reasonable manner.
The irony in all this is that I LOVE food and cooking, I’m just very bad at loving myself enough to make the effort. It took time and taking incremental steps to improving (and avoiding trying to get everything right from the start).
What I wrote above is what worked for me – YMMV. Age, hormones and genetics can also have an impact on appetite. And it’s always best to get the advice of a doctor if you have any specific health concerns.
Best of luck!
Edit: forgot to add the link to the cookbook!
I went through the same thing and also found simple is better. I definitely lived off oven baked chicken nuggets for a while. Eventually threw some steamed veggies in.
I basically just survived off “comfort meals” things that took like 1 or 2 steps tops to cook.
You get the idea. Unlike you I didn’t even know how to cook back then so I couldn’t even if I wanted to. It was like 2012ish so meal delivery also wasn’t a thing. I grew up on all this food cause both my parents worked and I had to cook for myself so I already knew what I liked and had these options around without much effort. All I had to do was restock the same things at the store.
Besides hunger and stress being closely linked, which is something you really should look for a psychologist for, you could also seek a gastroenterologist. Your stomach produces a hormone called Ghrelin that stimulates hunger, and they might be able to tell you if there's something behind why you're getting unnecessary pangs.
I haven't experienced similar myself, but it's a documented medical fact that stress can throw off the balance of your whole digestive system. Look up "the gut-brain connection". It's absolutely something you could consult a medical doctor for.
When I got into my 30s I started gaining weight and had to get more mindful about what I ate.
I started counting calories and macros (carbs,fat, protein).
I eventually decided my stomach was pretty useless at telling me when to eat. My stomach sends pangs mostly when it expected food and didn't get it. Like if I changed a routine. But also if I ate something it's not used to or if I'm just feeling stressed, or just randomly, even when I had 3000+ calories that day.
You should still listen to your body, but you can't always trust it. If I'm feeling kind of tired, irritable, and pessimistic that's a stronger signal to me that I should consider if I've eaten enough recently.
Counting calories is a pain, but even if you just keep a journal of what you eat for a few days/weeks. Or just try to remember and plan. It might help.
For me, getting older has meant finding things that my body used to handle automatically are now things I have to consciously manage. It's exhausting, but rewarding.
This is just my weird body. Everyone is different. You might consider bringing it up with your doctor next time you have a physical. In case it's a symptom of something else.
If your eating habits haven't been great before, it could be heartbreak + just age catching up to us.
My dietary needs changed a lot when I hit a certain age threshold, suddenly, without other circumstances changing. I was eating exactly the same as I always had, and it just didn't work anymore.
Aside from checking with dietician and doctor, meanwhile I would start by monitoring how much nutrition you're actually receiving. I don't mean to be a protein bro, but my whole life I subsisted on carbs + carbs + carbs and suddenly it wasn't enough, until I prioritize having some protein.
Maybe it's a different kind of nutrient your body is missing and reporting alarms about.
I also get suppressed appetite when stressed. My question is: are you still eating the same portions? In other words, is truly the issue a lack of hunger signals, or is it that you feel full much quicker than before?
The reason why I'm asking is that for me when I stress-starved myself in the past for an extended period of time (weeks?), the issue was that my stomach significantly suppressed its natural peristaltics (seen on endoscopy), and as a result I felt full quickly and when I attempted to eat normal portions of food I quickly became nauseous. But when I didn't eat, I regularly became nauseous as well, likely from the stomach acid produced on an empty stomach. Herbal teas for aiding digestion seemed to make the second issue worse while not helping the fist issue.
The solution from the gastroenterologist was to force myself to eat regularly until the stomach starts moving normally again. This was really difficult and I failed until I got a tip from a different doctor who was into alternative medicine (a red flag, but this thing in particular worked): he told me to only drink warm fluids, even if it's just warm water with a bit of lemon juice for taste (I usually used diluted fruit syrups warmed in the microwave), no cold or room temperature drinks whatsoever, do not eat raw vegetables, only cooked, and avoid dairy. I assume that the first thing was the most important and afaik is backed by some evidence, but I decided to do the latter two as well just in case, so I cannot say for sure. I felt a difference in a week and within two weeks I was able to eat mostly normally.
Good luck in any case, and a visit to a gastroenterologist seems warranted. Endoscopy is not that bad.
Thanks. I think I'm eating about the same as I did before, but I did eat less in the month or two immediately after. I did also try to suppress hunger pangs for a while by drinking cold water when I felt I already ate enough, which only made things worse in the long run so I think that tracks.