Hunger signals messed up
Over a year ago, I had my heart broken pretty bad. I lost most of my appetite for the week or two after that, and felt a lot of that emotion "in my stomach" for a couple months. And, to be honest, I'm still working through the whole thing.
Coincidentally, I've noticed that my hunger signals have gotten a lot worse since. I used to just listen to my stomach to regulate my eating and that was perfectly fine, but now I find myself fairly regularly eating until I think I'm full then waking up from hunger pangs in the middle of the night or feeling hunger pangs as soon as my head hits the pillow when I try to go to sleep. Albeit, my eating habits aren't super great in general. I'll often eat less out of laziness of not wanting to make extra food or I'll skip a meal every now and then because I'm busy. But I've had those habits for a while and it didn't cause me much trouble before.
I'm wondering if these two things might be related or not. Has anyone perhaps experienced something similar?
Besides hunger and stress being closely linked, which is something you really should look for a psychologist for, you could also seek a gastroenterologist. Your stomach produces a hormone called Ghrelin that stimulates hunger, and they might be able to tell you if there's something behind why you're getting unnecessary pangs.
I haven't experienced similar myself, but it's a documented medical fact that stress can throw off the balance of your whole digestive system. Look up "the gut-brain connection". It's absolutely something you could consult a medical doctor for.
I’m similar to you in the sense that I stress-starve, rather than stress-eat. I also have ADHD and just plain ‘forget’ to eat (and to make matters worse, the medication is an appetite suppressant). I’m also frequently nauseous in the morning so I usually skip breakfast. In short, my eating habits are shit.
At one point I was having the same issue of getting ravenously hungry right before bedtime. I never figured the exact reason, but what (I think) eventually helped me were multiple things. It was a process, so I’m ordering this from what I do in stress-starving situations and need to survive, up to the point of getting into the habit of eating better and at regular moments (apologies this will be long):
I know a lot of people are leery of services like UberEats, but it saved me from one of my worse bouts. Just the idea of going out to get ingredients, planning a meal, or making something myself was unbearable. If you need help, get help, in whatever form best helps you get back on track. There’s no shame in doing what you need to do when you’re struggling. Once you’re on your feet, you can think about what you can do better, but build a foundation first.
When I’m in a stress-starving state I make it a point to eat something, anything, whatever my brain is telling me I could remotely enjoy/stomach and is easily accessible. Forget about eating healthy at this point. Brain tells you the only thing it wants is a big heaping spoon of Nutella? Go eat that spoon of Nutella. You can only stomach a few peanuts? Can only drink some broth? Do it. Get your brain back into the habit of eating a bit at a time.
Stocking the pantry with stuff that can make meals stupidly easy and quick, and you enjoy (this is important). I make a salad out of nothing but canned corn, kidney beans, tuna and bottled salad dressing. I get frozen meals I can just pop into the microwave. Here’s a cookbook you can download for free with a bunch of super simple recipes for when you’re struggling/can’t find time to cook: The Sad Bastard Cookbook
Getting kitchen appliances that make cooking easy and more hands-off, like a crockpot, or rice cooker. Save some recipes that are tasty but basically just involve dumping a bunch of ingredients into those and leaving them to do their thing.
Starting to exercise more regularly, specifically weight training. I found that I was getting hungrier way earlier in the day as the muscles continue to burn calories. It’s no longer an option to skip breakfast
Because I have muscle building as a goal, I had to up my calories quite a bit and pay attention to things like how much protein I’m getting. This made me a lot more mindful about what and when I eat. When you realise you still need another several hundred calories at the end of the day and you can’t bear to eat anything else, you learn pretty quickly to spread your meals out in a more reasonable manner.
The irony in all this is that I LOVE food and cooking, I’m just very bad at loving myself enough to make the effort. It took time and taking incremental steps to improving (and avoiding trying to get everything right from the start).
What I wrote above is what worked for me – YMMV. Age, hormones and genetics can also have an impact on appetite. And it’s always best to get the advice of a doctor if you have any specific health concerns.
Best of luck!
Edit: forgot to add the link to the cookbook!