lelio's recent activity
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Comment on If you could send someone to any historic moment, who and when? in ~talk
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Comment on Fridge leaks water, pooling up... What do? in ~life.home_improvement
lelio LinkAnother vote for: "check the drain hose" . Mine clogs up often and causes the bottom of the freezer to fill up with ice similar to this.Another vote for: "check the drain hose" .
Mine clogs up often and causes the bottom of the freezer to fill up with ice similar to this. -
Comment on What do you actually do at work? in ~life
lelio LinkI'm a freelance industrial technician. Factories in my area will contact me when their equipment breaks and there is no official support channel from the manufacturer. I either give them free tech...I'm a freelance industrial technician. Factories in my area will contact me when their equipment breaks and there is no official support channel from the manufacturer. I either give them free tech support, refer them to someone who knows better, or I schedule a service visit. I bill $200 an hour to drive to their facility and work on the problem until they get up and running again.
Sometimes, I just find an estop button that everyone forgot about but got tripped somehow. Sometimes I have to rebuild a spindle or replace a servo drive. Sometimes I get to modify or retrofit old machines with newer tech, or better design to suit what they are trying to do with it.
I'm happy if I average between 20-30 billable hours a week. It's hard work and I eventually burn out if I do much more.
I have a very flexible, but chaotic and stressful schedule. It can be really satisfying to fix stuff and be a hero, but its pretty intense sometimes. I'm working on transitioning or at least diversifying into other stuff over the next few years. -
Comment on Getting started with intermittent reward as a motivation tactic in ~health.mental
lelio Link;)The rewards they administer should be something that you cannot just give yourself.
;)
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Comment on How do you avoid the "getting started" loop? in ~talk
lelio LinkI've embraced my tendency to procrastinate by planning. It can actually help with many types of tasks. I don't think there is a perfect way to do anything though. So I don't have a mind set of "I...- I've embraced my tendency to procrastinate by planning.
It can actually help with many types of tasks. I don't think there is a perfect way to do anything though. So I don't have a mind set of "I will do this when I have a perfect plan".
Instead I think: I really don't want to do this right now, and I don't even know where to start. So I make a Google doc or something, I get very specific and have a numbered list of steps. I do research and write the steps as if I am writing them for a child. I revise and simplify and reread the instructions. Eventually I am more excited and antsy to get started than I am scared. Then I just follow the steps, its usually easy as there are no more decisions to be made, no executive function necessary.
Like you mentioned, I have to avoid the trap of buying some gadget to use. It's always tempting and sometimes it makes sense. But usually it's just an excuse to get that dopamine hit of buying a thing, plus I often have to wait for it to come, which helps me delay actually starting the task.
If I'm tempted I write down a strategy with and without the gadget so I can get an idea of how much it really helps.Like for example if you want to do streaming you may be tempted to buy equipment. You can write that into your plan. First write up how to do it with the bare minimum of stuff you already have. Then have a step like: "After I have streamed 5 sessions revisit my equipment based on my experience so far".
Overall I think documenting things is key for me. If I try to plan in my head I can go in circles forever and never get anything done. If I type I all out then every time I come back to that task I can make small forward progress.
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With some tasks, like exercise or cleaning, anything where you are trying to change your habits, you just have to start by doing the smallest chunk of work possible. Exactly like Wafik said in his post.
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I suspect everyone is faking it at least a little. No one's life is as well put together as it seems from the outside. Just keep working and learning. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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Comment on Non-parents give crappy parenting advice in ~life
lelio Link ParentThe main thing I've learned from my parenting experience is that parenting is hard because it is a marathon, not a chess match. I went into it terrified because humans are so complicated and I...The main thing I've learned from my parenting experience is that parenting is hard because it is a marathon, not a chess match.
I went into it terrified because humans are so complicated and I thought I would have to be making all these intense moral calculations. I wasn't sure if I understood human nature well enough to make the right calls.
It's true, parents do have to make those decisions. But I've found that I do much more damage to my kids not when I make the wrong decision, but when I am too tired or emotionally unregulated to act in the way that I know I should. I think most people can be smart enough and make decent decisions about parenting when they are in the right mindset.
The reason we are such bad parents is because we have to be patient and playful while having no sleep. We have to be kind and loving while our children are being assholes, regularly physically and emotionally attacking us, everyday. Having the same argument, over the same ridiculous demands over and over again: "I don't want dinner, I want candy". it's cute the first 10-20 times and an opportunity to explain nutrition, health, etc. But when you have to have that conversation every night, with the same person screaming at you, for years, It gets old and you slip up and get mad, which makes the situation worse.
I know it's not their fault. I know that the only way to resolve a meltdown is to be calm and patient and help them regulate their emotions. But sometimes I just can't. How do you force yourself to be calm? Even if I pretend to be calm, and speak slowly and say the right things, my kids know when I am upset and it makes them freak out.
For me, I feel like I know how to be a good parent, the same way I know how to win a marathon, just keep running as fast as you can. It's actually making myself do it that is the challenge.
Its a hard slog. My best strategies are honesty and communication. I'm lucky enough to have a partner, so we tag out whenever one of us is just done.
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~talk
lelio Link ParentI am a huge fan of manual transmissions, and won't buy an automatic. When I bought a Tacoma for a work truck, I flew to Oregon to pick up a manual and drove it back to Los Angeles because they...I am a huge fan of manual transmissions, and won't buy an automatic. When I bought a Tacoma for a work truck, I flew to Oregon to pick up a manual and drove it back to Los Angeles because they don't sell manual Tacoma's in California.
But with an EV, it basically is a manual. Because there is only one gear, the motor is connected directly to the wheels. You don't have the mushy feel of a torque converter or the random timing of a hydraulic actuated shifter.
The question of power/"engine" braking is all a matter of software.The way it works on my EV(Kia EV6) is there are paddles behind the steering wheel, the left one makes it "feel" like you are in a lower gear and the right one, a higher gear. There are 4 levels. Basically it just makes the vehicle use regenerative braking more aggressively at each level. I.think it also makes acceleration more responsive but it's not that noticeable. In the max level it is a one pedal mode where you can come to a complete stop by just lifting off the acceleration pedal.
I drive in max level almost always unless I'm in cruise control. It's great, it basically feels like being at peak high rpm all the time, without using a clutch or shifting. And it's not hard on the engine or your gas milage!
You can take your foot off the pedal right before a 20mph curve and it will shift weight hard on to the front wheels, then be ready to deliver full power the instant you step on it. Then you can do the exact same thing on the next curve without shifting, even if it is a 50mph curve. The whole thing feels really smooth, responsive, and tight. It's honestly more fun to drive than any manual sports car I've driven.
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Comment on Has sexual content invaded too much of the internet? in ~tech
lelio LinkI think there are two separate issues. In my opinion sex is a normal healthy part of life and im fine with it being on any platform. Anecdotally, Ive felt that there is less sex in popular culture...I think there are two separate issues.
In my opinion sex is a normal healthy part of life and im fine with it being on any platform. Anecdotally, Ive felt that there is less sex in popular culture lately, or it's less gratuitous. In pop music, movies, and the internet too. At least as compared to the 90s and 00s.
On the other hand the Internet continues to become more driven by algorithms that will use anything, including sex, but also outrage, envy, etc. to get peoples attention. This is the larger issue, as I see it. I'd like to see more thoughtful, authentic content of all kinds, including sexual content. But I don't know how we incentivise that kind of content.
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Comment on You don’t need a pickup truck, you need a cowboy costume in ~transport
lelio Link ParentI needed a work truck I can put a utility bed on and a decent amount of weight. I have to load and unload tools from it most work days. I wanted a 2004 type Tacoma so bad! But it ended up making...I needed a work truck I can put a utility bed on and a decent amount of weight. I have to load and unload tools from it most work days. I wanted a 2004 type Tacoma so bad!
But it ended up making more financial sense to buy a brand new 2019 model. It was barely more expensive since the old ones are in so much demand. Plus I wanted something that would look professional. But the new ones are huge and no one sells anything smaller! So frustrating.
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I’m falling in love with the Revelation Space universe
Warning: this post may contain spoilers
I want to ramble about Alastair Reynolds' Revelation Space series/universe. I will avoid spoilers.
So far, I have read:
"The Prefect" 2007
"Revelation Space" 2000
"Chasm City" 2001
"The Great Wall of Mars" (Novella) 2000
"Glacial" (Novella) 2001 (I haven't finished this yet.)I’m an occasional listener to “The Sword and Laser,” a book club/podcast where they read a book each month and discuss it, alternating between sci-fi and fantasy. I usually don't read the books, just enjoy the conversations, but if the early discussions sound interesting, I will read it before I get to the spoilery episodes.
One such case was when they read ‘The Prefect’ in 2021. I had heard of Alastair Reynolds and Revelation Space and had considered reading him before. If I remember correctly, they said it was a good way to dip your toe in the universe with a story that takes place in it but isn't really connected to the main series, so it doesn't spoil much.
I liked ‘The Prefect’ but didn't love it. It was set in this huge, complicated universe but had this small noir detective-type character we were following. It felt like seeing a narrow flashlight beam, aiming into an opaque mist of stuff that I couldn't quite make out.
I liked many of the little pieces floating around the universe, but I didn't quite trust that it was real and would have internal consistency.I saw “Pushing Ice” (an Alastair Reynolds book that is unrelated to Revelation Space) recommended somewhere late last year and decided to try it. I loved it, even though the ending left so much unanswered that it was disappointing. I can see how it may make sense to do that for some stories. Still, I have this distrust of the author's intent sometimes. If it feels like they are including mysterious background info without any thought of how it all connects, it bothers me. Even if the story or characters are good, it is distracting. I'm afraid of getting a "Lost" or "Game of Thrones" type ending where I don't feel like all the threads paid off or had any real purpose. To be clear, "Pushing Ice" was nothing like those endings. I feel like it earned its story. It just didn't fill in the universe as much as I wanted. I still didn't fully trust Reynolds as an author.
A few months ago, I decided to try the first proper book in the series, “Revelation Space”. I was surprised to see that I already owned it on Kindle. The first chapter was very familiar. I had bought it in 2013! As I read, I remembered I had gotten bored back then and left the book after a chapter or 2 to read something else. The beginning was a little boring. Again, it's set in a world I don't know and I'm not sure if I care about. In this book though, the perspective changes often. Multiple points of view seem to help me triangulate the world. It takes half the book, but I eventually fully buy-in, and then the world seems incredibly full. References to unknown factions, historical events, religions, movements, etc. They all feel like real plausible things with their own potential histories. Instead of the misty, non-tangible fluff, they seemed like when I read "The Prefect" or the first part of this book.
I finished “Revelation Space” completely satisfied and excited to dive into the series. I did a little research and found there are a lot of options for reading order. At this point I’m fairly certain I want to read every book in the series, so I am not too concerned with reading order, I just want to find a fun way to keep the things fresh as I explore it. I decided to read “Chasm City” next as it seems like the next thing in terms of publication date.
"Chasm City" was great! It followed the same pattern for me, with the beginning and the main character being the most boring parts of the book. But by the end, I felt like I knew the universe better and saw a bunch of interesting, fun stuff along the way.
I then read “The Great Wall” a quick novella that was awesome! It tells an origin story for something that has been mentioned but left ambiguous in all the other books. So satisfying.
I started reading another novella, “Glacial” today. So far, I'm really curious, but not sure what it's about.
The Great Wall reminded me of a book I read probably twenty years ago, “Hellstroms Hive” by Frank Herbert. I can't remember the details, and I think I may reread it now to take a break and make sure I won't burn out on Revelation Space. After that, I think I’ll jump right back in with “Redemption Ark” the next main novel in the series, which I believe follows the story of the novella I'm reading now.
Unless someone else has a better suggestion for what to read next in the revelation space universe? I've already bought the “Galactic North” collection to read those two novellas. But Im not sure if I should read any of the others until after I read further in the main novel series.
Any other opinions on revelation space?
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~life
lelio Link ParentIf we rely on people to choose to be a "contributing (rather than extractive) member of society" then someone less thoughtful will simply take their place. I would prefer we structure our society...If we rely on people to choose to be a "contributing (rather than extractive) member of society" then someone less thoughtful will simply take their place.
I would prefer we structure our society in such a way that rewards constructive actions and dissuades extractive strategies.
Their suggestion of a tax structure seems to be a good faith suggestion of how that might be done. -
Comment on TDK claims insane energy density in solid-state battery breakthrough in ~tech
lelio LinkThe non solid state Batteries in current EVs are around 600-700 Wh/L. So 1000 Wh/L is impressive, but I wouldn't call it "insane". I guess it's insane for solid state batteries, which have some...The non solid state Batteries in current EVs are around 600-700 Wh/L.
So 1000 Wh/L is impressive, but I wouldn't call it "insane".
I guess it's insane for solid state batteries, which have some advantages, like a longer life. -
Comment on Science fiction or fantasy recommendations for children in ~books
lelio Link ParentMaybe you were reading the S Morgenstern version? I heard that one is kind of boring ;)Maybe you were reading the S Morgenstern version? I heard that one is kind of boring ;)
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Comment on Science fiction or fantasy recommendations for children in ~books
lelio LinkOh! I got an obscure but fun fav of mine: Villains by Necessity Hopefully you can use a kindle or a library, as it's unfortunately hard to find in print right now. But I thought of it because you...Oh! I got an obscure but fun fav of mine:
Hopefully you can use a kindle or a library, as it's unfortunately hard to find in print right now.
But I thought of it because you said she was tired of happy endings. Here is a short synopsis I saw:
Proving that even in Utopia some people are oppressed, the leftover "bad guys" from the triumph of Good and Light--thieves, a black knight, a vengeful, man-eating sorceress--attempt to save the world from the terrible fate of boredom
Maybe read some reviews with her and see if it's something she'd be interested in.
My take is that It reads like a satirical sequel to the Lord of the rings. It has a little heart without taking itself too seriously, its quite funny, with a Princess Bride vibe(which is also a great fantasy book to read with your kids, I have!)
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Comment on How late is too late for a house party? in ~talk
lelio Link ParentI think I've heard some Springsteen, Jesse's girl, etc. I was thinking of music from the 70s and 80s but not like punk or new wave, just the stuff that was popular among boomers I guess? Maybe...I think I've heard some Springsteen, Jesse's girl, etc. I was thinking of music from the 70s and 80s but not like punk or new wave, just the stuff that was popular among boomers I guess? Maybe even the Beatles and other classic rock.
I didn't mean it to be derogatory btw, I have room for boomer rock in my life ;)
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Comment on How late is too late for a house party? in ~talk
lelio Link ParentJust a counter opinion that it's more nuanced and there is room for loud music sometimes: My next door neighbors have parties where they play loud music and I'm completely fine with it. In my...Just a counter opinion that it's more nuanced and there is room for loud music sometimes:
My next door neighbors have parties where they play loud music and I'm completely fine with it.
In my backyard the music is loud, in my kitchen and dining room which have windows facing them I can hear the music well. I can go to my bedroom and it's just a faint mumble sound.They are an older couple maybe in their late 60s or 70s. The parties only happen 4-5 times a year, usually around holidays, and they usually shut it down before midnight. I think they have their younger extended family over and it smells like they BBQ. I think they are Latino and play a lot of Spanish language music, but also some boomer pop/rock.
I generally enjoy it when they have these parties. I'm glad they get this time with who I think are their kids and grandkids. It reminds me that I live in a community filled with all kinds of different people living their lives and that somehow makes me happy.
Also my kids play loudly in the backyard quite often during the day, so I consider it a more than fair trade.
Like you said houses are different, and I feel like my current situation is very manageable. I've been in apartments where you just hear someones subwoofer droning away every other night and it's infuriating.
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Comment on Why we’re turning psychiatric labels into identities in ~health.mental
lelio Link ParentI really enjoyed the article and was surprised to see I interpreted its message completely differently than a lot of comments here, including yours. To be clear I mostly agree with your comment,...I really enjoyed the article and was surprised to see I interpreted its message completely differently than a lot of comments here, including yours. To be clear I mostly agree with your comment, except I thought the article wasnt in conflict with it.
Psychology is still a work in progress right? Imagine a theoretical future hundreds of years from now where humanity has survived long enough to come to a better understanding of human behavior. I doubt terms like ADHD and Autism would still be valid, or at least they wouldn't have the same meaning as they do now.
I interpreted the articles critism of the DSM as a way of showing how we are just barely scratching the surface of psychology. Showing that we are on this path, but still understand so little. And how much the DSM has changed over the years as we gain understanding and refine the labels we use.
The article establishes early on how important the DSM is.
It determines which conditions are taught in medical schools, which can be treated by F.D.A.-approved drugs, and which allow people to collect disability benefits and insurance reimbursements. Through its classification of mental illnesses, it establishes their prevalence in the population and indicates which ones public policy should target.
I never got the sense the writer was advocating that we go back to ignoring these conditions. Instead I felt they were putting into words something I've felt strongly now for awhile. That it's great that we are finally talking about all these different ways the brain works all the conflicts they cause in society, but this problem is so hard and we are so early in the process, that it is counter productive to buy in so whole heartedly to the vague amorphus blob of symptoms that we have decided to call 'autism' or 'ADHD'. These are just temporary terms and classifications until we figure out something better right?
I thought the mention of FMRI scans and the lack of any genes associated with specific DSM labels were there to illustrate how we don't have any real hard data on how these conditions actually work at chemical level. We are still feeling around in the dark here.
While the labels are vague and not well understood the behaviors/symptoms are real, and it helps to give them some kind of name. You can't learn about something and start dealing with it until you make up some words and classifications, just so you can talk about them.
But usually the first few systems you come up with are inaccurate or grossly oversimplified.
Think: Earth/Air/Fire/Water, or blood/yellow bile/black bile/phlegm. I think we are still closer to that stage in psychiatry now.The article cited a few different cases where it seemed researchers wanted to update some labels and classifications based on new research, but met with resistance from people and institutions that had become attached to the old labels.
I think we should embrace science and change, take people seriously when they talk about how their own brain works, and not get too attached to labels.
I feel like this is a human thing. We make progress in an area and it's so great and such a relief that we now defend and worship this new thing at all costs. Sometimes a thing is great, but still just a stepping stone to something better.
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Comment on Google just updated its algorithm. The Internet will never be the same. in ~tech
lelio Link ParentJust a different viewpoint: I've always let my kids have full access to the entire internet. With the idea that it's going to be a significant part of their adult lives and the best time to learn...Just a different viewpoint: I've always let my kids have full access to the entire internet. With the idea that it's going to be a significant part of their adult lives and the best time to learn skepticism and critical thinking is when you are young.
I try to talk to them about not trusting anything at face value and encourage them to talk about what they do online, even if it's not for kids. I try not to judge them for anything they look at but talk about the content in terms of why it exists and what the people who made it stand to benefit, etc. I advise them not to give out any personal information.
We limit their screen time, Homework and chores have to be done. And we encourage them to go out into the world, ride their bikes to parks etc. but when they do have screens there are no limits to what information they have access to.
I've had this policy since before they were old enough to read. With the idea that at some point they would be able to access the entire internet regardless of what I want. My parents had no idea what I was up to online, and could not have stopped me short of locking me in an unwired room. Now devices are even smaller and wireless signals are everywhere. I figured it would be hubris to assume I could control my kids online experience once they have a few years to learn tech.
Basically instead of a walled garden, I tried to have a transparent, peer relationship, where I'm just here to give advice and help them learn how to navigate the ever-changing cesspool that is the internet. At this point they are 11-14, so they are well past the point where I could control their Internet. And we are very much navigating it together. I feel like I would understand the Internet of today a lot less if I didn't have them to explain the tik tok memes to me.
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Comment on Just wanna talk about drinking less in ~talk
lelio Link ParentI feel some of that. I love weed and think it is a net benefit in my life at this point. But I have developed a dependency, and have overused and abused it at times. It's something I have to be...I feel some of that.
I love weed and think it is a net benefit in my life at this point. But I have developed a dependency, and have overused and abused it at times. It's something I have to be mindful of.Here are some practical things that work for me:
I've set an arbitrary dosage of 1 gram of cannabis a week. I use actual flower and use a dry vape(mighty+ or dynavap). I also drew an arbitrary line against any of the synthetic or concentrated stuff. The closest I get is sprinkling in some of the keif from the bottom of my grinder sometimes.
Within those guidelines I give myself some flexibility to use it as needed. But I try to take at least 24 hours off every 2-3 days of usage. And a week off every 2-3 months.
I never use it at work (my job is potentially dangerous, it's not even a temptation for me). I also don't drive while high, which limits when I can use it a lot. I have a general feeling that I need to get all my important stuff done and then use cannabis to help switch into relax mode, where I get to destress and be curious and creative.
Not only do I need to get stuff done first, but I feel like I just need to spend most of my time in sober mode in order to fully enjoy and take advantage of high mode. Its like each mode recharges the other. Or like when you go back and forth between a cold pool to a hot tub. Its more enjoyable than staying in one for too long, at least for me.
I think it's an interesting and dangerous time for cannabis right now. Being somewhat legal in so many states in the US, and in Canada, means that a lot more people are using a lot more of it. Capitalism is doing it's thing and marketing as much of it as possible at people without any consideration of their safety. Because of its legal status I feel we have very little reliable information about the effects cannabis.
I really wish I could go to a psychiatrist or some other trusted professional, discuss the benefits and negatives of cannabis and discuss a way for me to use it responsibly. The same way people do with other meds. My understanding is that isn't possible in the US with current federal laws. Which is frustrating.
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Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies
lelio (edited )LinkMy wife and I watched "Behind the Candelabra" a few nights ago and liked it. It was really surprising that this movie had existed for years and we had no idea. I stumbled on it totally blind...My wife and I watched "Behind the Candelabra" a few nights ago and liked it. It was really surprising that this movie had existed for years and we had no idea.
I stumbled on it totally blind because I was just going back and watching soderbergh movies I had missed. Within a few minutes I was hit with: Scott Bakula! Matt Damon! "Is Michael Douglas playing Liberace?!". I had to stop there and tell my wife and we started over together.
I've been pretty bored with biopics lately. But I think doing a "slice of life" is a great way to do it. This movie just focuses on one era of his life. Based on a book by an ex "boyfriend". It makes for an interesting original story and I still felt like I got a vague picture of his whole life through context.
Good performances from everyone. Michael Douglas is hit and miss for me, but I feel like this was my favorite role for him, at least since "the game".
I would send the last great "human" scientist(hopefully someone born millennia from now, but who knows?) back to Berkeley in 1960.
For some reason I hesitate to send that knowledge back before world war 2. Even though there is so much suffering, it just seems like so much could go wrong and I can't think of anywhere we can just drop them and trust that they will be taken care of and used wisely.
So, If possible, I would specifically place them near Carl Sagan. Like, Sagan is sitting, eating his lunch and poof! Future scientist appears in his office.
Hopefully they would find a way to communicate and have a nice long chat and maybe work on some projects together. Sagan is first to mind as someone that can communicate science brilliantly and seems thoughtful enough to make tough calls on how much to tell people and what ideas and technologies would be safe and of benefit to humans at that point.
If I don't blink out of existence or have my memory altered immediately after, then I can at least watch cosmos and see if anything seems different.