Other caregivers, how do you cope?
Hey all, my partner is newly paraplegic post spine surgery and while he's been disabled through our ten years together this is new. He's using a power wheelchair and has to transfer by Hoyer lift. And in the six days since he was discharged from the rehab (PT and OT) hospital he's been to the ER twice. We have home health set up. But all of a sudden my life is a lot more... Stressful is understating it. He's going through his own emotional journey and getting support so I was hoping to find some connections, suggestions and the like here.
Right now I'm feeling a ton of pressure not to let any of the various balls I'm juggling drop. Something that feels unsustainable, particularly with my ADHD. I feel like I'm only getting this far due to stress compensating for my lack of medication (it's packed from our recent move, I'll find it or get a new script I just haven't yet). My partner's in a rush to get a wheelchair van and I don't know if we're making a good purchase and it feels like everything has to be handled right now but also for the rest of our lives.
Are there devices that are must haves? Things I need to know about wheelchair vans? Empathy from fellow caretakers?
I'm sorry you are stressing and having to work so hard to quickly adjust what's an already demanding routine into another demanding routine. For what it's worth, I am not anyone's caretaker at the moment, but I worked in an ALF for a while and helped with family and family of friends when things came up.
Wheelchair vans are awesome if you need to drive, but there is variation in quality. Make sure to do the research and see what you need w/ his chair, make sure equipment is legit and not slapped together by some dingus with an arc welder, and check if the vehicle you'd be best suited with requires any special license to drive where you live.
Try to find some time to talk to your family/friends/therapist. You absolutely deserve empathy. Hard work is hard, and this kind of hard work is also emotionally intense. Talk to your partner about your feelings. However productive that is, it's nice to talk to other folks sometimes too. Professional therapists are great for this.
Sorry I don't have better or more specific advice. I just wanted to hop in and say that you absolutely deserve empathy, and that you're doing something really awesome. Taking care of people we love when they need it isn't always easy and you deserve credit for the work you're doing.
Thank you so much. I am feeling pretty good about this wheelchair van dealer as someone who doesn't sell poor work and we've gotten a few good recommendations from locals for them even just in the past day. I'm seeing a therapist again since this all started. But I'm also trying not to weigh down on him as he's still figuring things out.
I appreciate your comment a lot, thank you