24
votes
The false gospel of conversion therapy: "I went to sessions every week in high school. I came out as trans anyway."
Link information
This data is scraped automatically and may be incorrect.
- Title
- What I Learned In Conversion Therapy
- Authors
- Grace Byron
- Published
- Aug 18 2023
- Word count
- 2086 words
This has gotten me feeling kind of bad.
It's full of stories of this person who was going through some really bad times, and there's so many stories of people who she's encountered who did not support her, even when she confided in them.
Last night I was very emotionally exhausted from a particularly hectic bad day at work, and I went into a chat to help recover. In it there was someone who was clearly going through some tough times who made a disparaging remark about themselves, something that implied that they didn't believe that anyone would ever love them. I didn't say anything. Nobody else did either.
One of my most cherished memories was when I got to school one day and had an emotional breakdown because of all the shit that was going on in my life at the time. I left in the middle of class to bawl my eyes out. Two other kids came out and took the time to talk to me, to make sure I was all right and generally be supportive. It was like providence to me. I had felt so alone, and yet these two people reached out and made me feel like the world wasn't completely shit after all. I don't even know who they are; I couldn't see them through the tears. But they made a big impact in my life, and as such I try to spread that particular flavor of kindness whenever I can.
In my defense, I have been there for strangers who needed support in the past. And I was in such a bad state at the time this happened that I probably wouldn't have been helpful, and possibly would have made things worse. They were also talking with someone else who almost certainly messaged them privately. I just hate that I didn't try.
Our compassion is renewable, but it is an exhaustible resource that needs recharging. I'm no longer working (retired), but I still give support to others in a different field -- a kind of avocation. But my ability to give does run dry and that's when I just can't. I know what I generally would like to say, but I don't have it in me. The tank is -- at that moment -- dry. And in chat, we can't just put a hand on the shoulder and communicate through touch. We need to take a break, just for a while, and our tank will become full again.
Despite wanting to, we can't save all the pups in the pound. Best we can do is to be an example for others so that they can help when our tank is empty.
Not a one of us is perfect. No individual can be there for everyone who needs them all the time. And you have to take care of yourself too - if you're not okay your interactions with others are not going to be as effective or positive either. All you can do is try to be there for people when you can be. Don't beat yourself up over a single data point. Just try to adjust the trends to be where you want your impact on others to be
As someone who was one of those two kids-- I'm glad we made a difference! I was a senior in high school at the time and the girl that was crying was a junior, and in prior years I would have been too shy to go to help or too worried I'd get in trouble for running out of class after the girl but by senior year I had a "Fuck it" attitude so I went for it. I was worried she'd want to talk to one of her friends and not to me-- we knew each other but weren't particularly close. But she had always been very nice to me and never judged me for being "weird" like some kid did, and I wanted her to know that she deserved to be happy.
archive link