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What aspect of the LGBT community do you feel like is least discussed?
I've been thinking about this lately and I always go back to feeling so ignorant for doing things like using the word gay to mean something bad or negative when I was younger. And it gets me to thinking about if things like that are discussed or if people even think that far into it. Which got me to thinking about what other aspects aren't being discussed or acknowledged widely enough.
That it is a spectrum and not binary.
I think tat there is a strong feeling both from within the LBGT+ community and from outside it that you are gay or straight or trans and we forget that we are all just individuals with individuals preferences.
And being bi/pan can also be a spectrum.
Well, those are part of the spectrum.
This may be entirely self-pitying, because I'm bi, but bi erasure does seem like a huge thing. I've seen trans people discuss how a character must be gay because of their close relationship to someone of the same gender, ignoring previous relationships with people of the opposite gender.
With that said, it's probably less significant than the ignorance people have of non-binary people. It seems more strange to me though, since anyone who accepts the existence of gay people (i.e., almost everyone in the Western world) should have no issue with the idea of bisexuals - and yet they so easily forget about it.
A former-partner and very-dear friend of mine is going through this right now. She's been a loud & proud bisexual for as long as I've known her. But now that she's currently dating a woman, after several male partners, she must all of a sudden be a lesbian. I've watched her more-than-once tear into people for trying to take her out of the 'bisexual box'.
edit: spelling is hard pre-caffination
Honestly is it so hard just to let people identify themselves?
I know a woman that's the opposite. Her first partner was a man and she's now in a committed relationship with a woman. She identifies as a lesbian, but her family insists she's bi.
Apparently.
I don't know if it's a cultural-thing or a human-thing, but we certainly seem to really like over-categorizing or forcing our own labels on everything.
I think it just ties into a skewed perception and people not thinking far enough into things and just jumping to conclusions and letting that be there thought on it.
People just have bizarre perceptions. They like to just lump people into things based on isolated events. It's like when a person does something one time and that becomes their entire persona to everyone around them. What bugs me is when people actually say, "all the time" when it was clearly an isolated event.
Yeah or they say a lot of people, when they mean two.
Yeah, people have skewed perceptions in general. I don't say that to take away from your issue though. I am from a small town and a hand full of people have asked if I am gay. Not directly, but friends of mine. Just because people have this one way view. The percieve my actions of just being comfortable with myself and giving everything a chance and looking at things loosely as a weird mentality / way to behave for a straight man. It's a weird place. A friend's girlfriend was convinced I was gay because I dressed to nice and put too much into my appearance. I just didn't dress like a bum.. I still just wore t shirts and sneakers.
It's like you said, they see one thing, but ignore these others.
I'm bewildered that the response to 'self care is un-manly' is 'self care is extremely manly.' Maybe it's not as apparent in apparel, but Old Spice and Axe body wash commercials are all takes on 'bathe to be an Alpha.' I'm just lost as to why 'take care of yourself' needs to be packaged at all.
Yeah, it doesn't. People just like to put things in boxes I guess.
I think it's definitely not just you. There's a problem where less-prominent shades in the rainbow get left out just out of ignorance. I myself used to not be great about recognizing other members of MOGAI (and still might not be, but I'm trying to improve). Hopefully visibility will continue to improve, but we'll see. The positive response to characters like Daryl from Crazy Ex Girlfriend makes me optimistic about the future though. Even little things will help. For example, a musician I saw recently kept addressing the audience with "Ladies, gentlemen, those outside and in-between". It seems small, but I'm it doesn't go unnoticed.
I've never heard this. I love it. I'm stealing it.
I thought it was really great too! I've also heard "Ladies, gentlemen, and those that lieth betwixt" from Contrapoints, but I like that the musician's version is inclusive of people who identify outside the male-female scale entirely.
There’s a lot of garbage infighting in the community. TERFs saying trans women can’t be lesbians/lesbians can’t be into trans women or they’re just bi. Gold-star bullshit used to gatekeep who can be a lesbian, truscum, and as you mention, enby and bi erasure - additionally I’ve seen bi people get shit just because they can “pass for straight”, ignoring the fact that to do so they’d have to ignore a portion of the people they’re into.
Oddly, the 'passing for straight' thing is sort-of something I get. I'm lucky that half the people I'm attracted to won't result in us facing discrimination. That said, there's a difference between thinking I'm lucky to have that and other people giving me shit for it.
I mean it’s like saying a non-dysphoric trans person, or a GNC person, can just pass as cis/gender-conforming. Like, I mean, I passed as cis - I think occasional people may’ve thought I was into guys (my parents even did at one point, which was... not very confidence-inspiring, but whatever), but generally thought I was a guy. That doesn’t mean it didn’t suck, or that I should’ve just not transitioned, because I wasn’t at suicidal levels of dysphoria. It’s still shitty having to hide an aspect of yourself, and that would’ve been true of me even if I hadn’t had very distinct or strong dysphoria, or exclusively felt gender euphoria in some situations, and a lack of it in others, which is the case for some people.
That's a very good point, and something I hadn't thought about. I suppose because it wasn't something I had (consciously) suffered from, I didn't think about that suffering in others. I'll definitely try to apply this more, thank you.
For sure about bisexuality. I've known I was bisexual and been out about it from a young age and I STILL have trouble feeling valid and question my bisexuality since I'm a women in a relationship with a man. I've been rejected by gay women and fetishized by straight men for being bi. I've been involved in the LGBT community since childhood and even as an out and proud bi woman, I still feel relagated to being just an ally and an outsider.
I try not to be self pitying and "woe is me", but bi erasure really does get to me. I identify with and feel much closer to the bi community than to the LGBT community as a whole.
Yeah I came onto the post to say this really.
RuPaul made a great point in an interview: the LGBTI community (and everyone really) shouldn't seek an identity that perfectly labels them, and use that to define themselves. His point was to be your own person, whatever makes yourself comfortable. Your identity shouldn't rely on an objective description, it's entirely subjective and fluid. He then said adhering to an identity--especially the behavior expectations from within that community--weighs down your potential as an individual.
This is such an amazing point.
It's easy for people to become tormented by the idea that they don't fit into the shapes that they've been told exist.
If I don't fit in the round hole, then does that mean I have to fit in the square hole? But what if I don't feel like a square. Can't I just be a triangle instead?
as I know the most about the t of lgbt i would probably say, the existence of trans men or intersectionality
What specifically do you mean by intersectionality?
I herd this or read it somewhere can't remember exactly - but it was about how some m-m gay relationships are predicated on domination with a large age gap. Where it's not always consensual (or it's very grey area, idk). And it's mostly not talked about because (probably rightly so) their is lots of cheer pressure for the cause of the gay man. Probably in a few years when things normalise these stories will come out.