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  • Showing only topics in ~lgbt with the tag "demisexuality". Back to normal view / Search all groups
    1. Discussion about asexuality, demisexuality, and allosexuality

      Quick search on Tildes brought up this five year old post asking how many folks here are asexual - spoiler alert, no replies which identified themselves as ace. I was asked in the Pride Month...

      Quick search on Tildes brought up this five year old post asking how many folks here are asexual - spoiler alert, no replies which identified themselves as ace.

      I was asked in the Pride Month intro thread by @arqualite about my relationship, and @Sparksbet shared his experience, and while I didn't want to derail that wonderful and celebratory discussion by talking too much about my one specific relationship, I also definitely want to talk about myself as well, so I am super hoping for two things for this thread:

      1. Some discussion about ace spectrum in general - questions, answers, curiosities, insights, anything that might be helpful for folks new and old to the concept, on every segment of the spectrum or attraction layer cake

      2. Just one tiny sub comment where I could use some advice and get some clarity .....and a digital hug if you could spare one

      46 votes
    2. What's hard about being demisexual/demiromantic/asexual/aromantic?

      (Topics like this need people to have more sympathy for the other because we're talking about real people's sexualities and discrimination these people often face every day and have deep feeling...

      (Topics like this need people to have more sympathy for the other because we're talking about real people's sexualities and discrimination these people often face every day and have deep feeling abouts, so be nice.)

      If I had to (uneducatedly) guess, some of them would be:

      • Your sexuality (and the word allosexual) being as good as unknown by most people.

      • Asexuality being a big umbrella (hence the title being demisexual/demiromantic/asexual/aromantic rather than just asexual)

      • Allosexual and aromantic people being confused for "people who only want sex"

      • People not believing you when you say that.

      • Being perceived as an anomaly or lying, along with people promising that you will realize the truth one day.

      • Overly religious people seeing your sexuality as a virtuous rejection of degenerate lust/sin and as an unnatural anomaly simultaneously.

      • People seeing your sexuality as being "free" from dating or porn consumption or above identifying yourself by how un-sexed you are. (True, but obviously very reductive and usually contingent on the insecurities of the people seeing you that way.) (This is admittedly something I struggle with.)

      38 votes