That article didn’t really offer any insights other than the imaginary binary choice of “penniless or bitterness”. It also makes no mention of how you make those decisions when you are part of a...
That article didn’t really offer any insights other than the imaginary binary choice of “penniless or bitterness”. It also makes no mention of how you make those decisions when you are part of a greater whole/family that relies on you. I guess I don’t see what this brings to the discussion.
And as a general rule of thumb, survivorship bias in these types of life advice columns is dramatically underplayed. Don’t listen to Taylor Swift about why you should follow your dreams on being a pop singer. She only knows the good outcome. Talk to the tens of thousands of artists that never made it to understand what you are actually up against.
Oh really? That's not what I took from it at all, and I didn't even consider it "advice," although I can see how you'd take that from it. To me, the idea that you don't have to find an existing...
Oh really? That's not what I took from it at all, and I didn't even consider it "advice," although I can see how you'd take that from it. To me, the idea that you don't have to find an existing niche but could just pick your spot and let the niche form around you was an interesting perspective. I don't think I even perceived the actual advice you reference in your comment because the thing that spoke to me was that perspective.
I'd agree that you shouldn't impulsively decide you're going to build a career from your passion based on a few paragraphs you read online, but for me that doesn't invalidate the rest of the author's perspective. I think I also assume people finding this here wouldn't do that anyway, but maybe it's good to make it explicit.
I found that to be an interesting perspective also, and as I read that bit, I realized that that seems to be what I'm doing now. I've long felt like there is no place for me in the world, but...
To me, the idea that you don't have to find an existing niche but could just pick your spot and let the niche form around you was an interesting perspective.
I found that to be an interesting perspective also, and as I read that bit, I realized that that seems to be what I'm doing now. I've long felt like there is no place for me in the world, but recently, I've just been doing things like getting out of my comfort zone, being me in situations, reaching out to people, figuring out what I like to do, and thinking about what type of person I want to be. And after reading the article you posted, I can sort of see that I am creating my own niche. It's not entirely carved out, and it may change and evolve, but I'm much more satisfied with myself and life than I had been previously.
I don't know if "wasting a midlife crisis" is really a thing. I've had several. and though I like what I've been doing with this one, better than what I did with the last ones, I don't think I could be doing things the way I am now, if I had,'t done things the way I had before. I did get relief in the past, I did change things up a bit, and it gave me what I needed at the time.
I mostly agree about the binary choice and the survivorship bias. I feel like this guy is, well, almost peddling this "reach for dreams" and "don't waste your mid-life crisis" narrative without...
I mostly agree about the binary choice and the survivorship bias. I feel like this guy is, well, almost peddling this "reach for dreams" and "don't waste your mid-life crisis" narrative without really expanding on it at all. No matter who it involves, getting through a mid-life crisis requires understanding why you have one and then looking at whether you can afford to solve it. Quoting someone saying they would rather be penniless than bitter kind of screams ignorance and entitlement to me since it ignores a lot of the inputs that go into navigating a mid-life crisis. Additionally, though the blog post kind of looks down on it, if buying a new car is all it takes for a 40 year old person to come to terms with their mid-life crisis and move forward happily with new perspective, I would call that a success.
And to the OP (@RadDevon), you mention that you may have been looking for a place you already fit and not a place to stake a claim and grow. I think your process with location is similar to his process with places. Traveling seems to be your way of navigating your current crisis and apparent wanderlust. I think once you anchor yourself mentally and personally, the place will come to you when visit it and with that will come people. Regardless, the process always seems to be anchoring yourself and everything will follow. The guy being quoted anchored himself in his new work/job whereas you will anchor yourself with whatever that may be.
I don't feel like I went through an unplanned or unknown mid-life crisis. I've reach a couple points where I needed a change in my life, so I planned for it and made sure I could get through those life hurdles.
I'd be curious to hear about anyone else's midlife crisis that you're either in or have gone through. Personally, I've been traveling all over the US (and a little outside it) trying to find my...
I'd be curious to hear about anyone else's midlife crisis that you're either in or have gone through. Personally, I've been traveling all over the US (and a little outside it) trying to find my next place to settle down. It is a sort of mid-life crisis — although the "mid-life"-ness of it is incidental since there were other factors outside my control that got me here; maybe that's always the case with a mid-life crisis? — but it almost goes against the advice of this post. I'm looking for a place where I already fit, and maybe the better approach is to stake out my claim and wait for the world to adapt to me. I think there's probably a balance to strike.
I read somewhere that you can't have a need to shake things up because you're halfway through a life that seems like unending sameness, when life itself is unstable and ever changing. Those of us...
I read somewhere that you can't have a need to shake things up because you're halfway through a life that seems like unending sameness, when life itself is unstable and ever changing.
Those of us that are in the prime midlife crisis age have been through global recessions, several world spanning health struggles including a full blown pandemic, financial instability, and a world that is tangibly getting more difficult to live in due to climate changes around the world.
I agree that if you are 40-50 years old today, chances are you haven't had the incredible stable, "boring" life for 20-30 years with no change in sight that triggers a midlife reckoning.
I don’t know. To me, those factors you named are more or less beyond my direct control so I wouldn’t think to want to change them. The midlife crisis I feel like I’m in is localized to the things...
I don’t know. To me, those factors you named are more or less beyond my direct control so I wouldn’t think to want to change them. The midlife crisis I feel like I’m in is localized to the things I have more control over. Life can still feel like it needs a change even with the ground shifting under your feet. It can for me at least.
That article didn’t really offer any insights other than the imaginary binary choice of “penniless or bitterness”. It also makes no mention of how you make those decisions when you are part of a greater whole/family that relies on you. I guess I don’t see what this brings to the discussion.
And as a general rule of thumb, survivorship bias in these types of life advice columns is dramatically underplayed. Don’t listen to Taylor Swift about why you should follow your dreams on being a pop singer. She only knows the good outcome. Talk to the tens of thousands of artists that never made it to understand what you are actually up against.
Oh really? That's not what I took from it at all, and I didn't even consider it "advice," although I can see how you'd take that from it. To me, the idea that you don't have to find an existing niche but could just pick your spot and let the niche form around you was an interesting perspective. I don't think I even perceived the actual advice you reference in your comment because the thing that spoke to me was that perspective.
I'd agree that you shouldn't impulsively decide you're going to build a career from your passion based on a few paragraphs you read online, but for me that doesn't invalidate the rest of the author's perspective. I think I also assume people finding this here wouldn't do that anyway, but maybe it's good to make it explicit.
I found that to be an interesting perspective also, and as I read that bit, I realized that that seems to be what I'm doing now. I've long felt like there is no place for me in the world, but recently, I've just been doing things like getting out of my comfort zone, being me in situations, reaching out to people, figuring out what I like to do, and thinking about what type of person I want to be. And after reading the article you posted, I can sort of see that I am creating my own niche. It's not entirely carved out, and it may change and evolve, but I'm much more satisfied with myself and life than I had been previously.
I don't know if "wasting a midlife crisis" is really a thing. I've had several. and though I like what I've been doing with this one, better than what I did with the last ones, I don't think I could be doing things the way I am now, if I had,'t done things the way I had before. I did get relief in the past, I did change things up a bit, and it gave me what I needed at the time.
I mostly agree about the binary choice and the survivorship bias. I feel like this guy is, well, almost peddling this "reach for dreams" and "don't waste your mid-life crisis" narrative without really expanding on it at all. No matter who it involves, getting through a mid-life crisis requires understanding why you have one and then looking at whether you can afford to solve it. Quoting someone saying they would rather be penniless than bitter kind of screams ignorance and entitlement to me since it ignores a lot of the inputs that go into navigating a mid-life crisis. Additionally, though the blog post kind of looks down on it, if buying a new car is all it takes for a 40 year old person to come to terms with their mid-life crisis and move forward happily with new perspective, I would call that a success.
And to the OP (@RadDevon), you mention that you may have been looking for a place you already fit and not a place to stake a claim and grow. I think your process with location is similar to his process with places. Traveling seems to be your way of navigating your current crisis and apparent wanderlust. I think once you anchor yourself mentally and personally, the place will come to you when visit it and with that will come people. Regardless, the process always seems to be anchoring yourself and everything will follow. The guy being quoted anchored himself in his new work/job whereas you will anchor yourself with whatever that may be.
I don't feel like I went through an unplanned or unknown mid-life crisis. I've reach a couple points where I needed a change in my life, so I planned for it and made sure I could get through those life hurdles.
I'd be curious to hear about anyone else's midlife crisis that you're either in or have gone through. Personally, I've been traveling all over the US (and a little outside it) trying to find my next place to settle down. It is a sort of mid-life crisis — although the "mid-life"-ness of it is incidental since there were other factors outside my control that got me here; maybe that's always the case with a mid-life crisis? — but it almost goes against the advice of this post. I'm looking for a place where I already fit, and maybe the better approach is to stake out my claim and wait for the world to adapt to me. I think there's probably a balance to strike.
Good luck to you. Hope you find what you’re looking for! ❤️
I read somewhere that you can't have a need to shake things up because you're halfway through a life that seems like unending sameness, when life itself is unstable and ever changing.
Those of us that are in the prime midlife crisis age have been through global recessions, several world spanning health struggles including a full blown pandemic, financial instability, and a world that is tangibly getting more difficult to live in due to climate changes around the world.
I agree that if you are 40-50 years old today, chances are you haven't had the incredible stable, "boring" life for 20-30 years with no change in sight that triggers a midlife reckoning.
I don’t know. To me, those factors you named are more or less beyond my direct control so I wouldn’t think to want to change them. The midlife crisis I feel like I’m in is localized to the things I have more control over. Life can still feel like it needs a change even with the ground shifting under your feet. It can for me at least.
Yeah i can’t wait for my “easy decade” to get bored of!