This is why I ask for and have started giving things like baked goods. I've also come to an understanding with my girlfriend's family (who routinely goes $50 per person per holiday) that my tech...
This is why I ask for and have started giving things like baked goods. I've also come to an understanding with my girlfriend's family (who routinely goes $50 per person per holiday) that my tech support absolves me of gift-giving responsibilities.
God I fucking hate the gift giving culture. I show someone respect every day, go out of my way to help them accomplish things, put my life on hold, do things I don't want to so that they don't...
God I fucking hate the gift giving culture. I show someone respect every day, go out of my way to help them accomplish things, put my life on hold, do things I don't want to so that they don't have to, thank them, express my gratitude and love, maybe occasionally purchase them things that I know they'd like throughout the year... but I'm an asshole because I don't buy you a "thoughtful" present on your birthday or Christmas? Everything I've done is thrown out the window, ignored, and pointless?
I know right! As for "thoughtfulness" if you see something you honestly believe I'll want, go ahead, but if it's an obligation for birthdays/showers/Christmas (which I don't even celebrate), don't...
I know right! As for "thoughtfulness" if you see something you honestly believe I'll want, go ahead, but if it's an obligation for birthdays/showers/Christmas (which I don't even celebrate), don't bother...
Edit to add: and honestly I don't really ever need/want anything, unless I'm replacing something I used up or broke.
I've always felt like a large portion of the problem comes from people's inability to ask for specific things. What ever happened to wish lists? I've been getting into vinyl, because music and the...
I've always felt like a large portion of the problem comes from people's inability to ask for specific things. What ever happened to wish lists? I've been getting into vinyl, because music and the act of consuming it is meaningful to me. So when holidays come around and people ask what I want, I just ask them for their favorite record. I don't think anyone I've asked so far would have thought of it on their own, and yet it's exactly the gift that I want. It will never go to waste.
We have a cultural expectation that gifts need to be a surprise, and I don't really understand it. The people who are best at gift giving often have lists all year long where they record what their recipients-to-be have mentioned wanting, all to avoid simply asking someone "What will be the most meaningful thing I can do for you to show you how much I appreciate you in my life?".
Also, I definitely agree with some of the other posts so far mentioning events-as-gifts. I think it can be a great way to have a thoughtful experience without the waste associated with material gifts.
In my case, it's because there really is nothing I want, but I can't opt out of the event. It's also happened a few times where I've asked for something I needed, that wasn't "fun", so I got a...
I've always felt like a large portion of the problem comes from people's inability to ask for specific things.
In my case, it's because there really is nothing I want, but I can't opt out of the event. It's also happened a few times where I've asked for something I needed, that wasn't "fun", so I got a "real" gift instead.
Yes! I have had very similar experiences. I think the worst one was asking for a couple of pairs of nice pants, but instead getting only one pair of pants and fairly expensive (but non-functional)...
Yes! I have had very similar experiences. I think the worst one was asking for a couple of pairs of nice pants, but instead getting only one pair of pants and fairly expensive (but non-functional) knock-off AirPods. sigh
My wife and I saw the Story of Stuff video a few years ago and we have been slowly and steadily moving away from "stuff". Moving to a digital model for books/movies/games (minus a few reference...
My wife and I saw the Story of Stuff video a few years ago and we have been slowly and steadily moving away from "stuff".
Moving to a digital model for books/movies/games (minus a few reference books) has helped a lot.
We have been trying to get our families into experiences as opposed to gifts.
Instead of buying a bunch of bullshit lets go someone and see something we havent before.
Memories last. Things dont.
We "Konmari-ed" (or "calamari-ed" when my partner says it) our house a couple years ago, and in the process realized how much stuff we really own, and how little we honestly need. Since then, we...
We "Konmari-ed" (or "calamari-ed" when my partner says it) our house a couple years ago, and in the process realized how much stuff we really own, and how little we honestly need. Since then, we haven't really even had the urge to really buy anything.
I highly recommend reading her first book. Just remember, she's crazy. And if you're going to give it a shot, I do recommend trying her way at least once.
I highly recommend reading her first book. Just remember, she's crazy. And if you're going to give it a shot, I do recommend trying her way at least once.
This is why I ask for and have started giving things like baked goods. I've also come to an understanding with my girlfriend's family (who routinely goes $50 per person per holiday) that my tech support absolves me of gift-giving responsibilities.
Hehe, I've been asking for no gifts to just baked goods (which I can honestly only have so much of) for years.
An old, but still relevant article about the wastefulness of our gift-giving culture.
God I fucking hate the gift giving culture. I show someone respect every day, go out of my way to help them accomplish things, put my life on hold, do things I don't want to so that they don't have to, thank them, express my gratitude and love, maybe occasionally purchase them things that I know they'd like throughout the year... but I'm an asshole because I don't buy you a "thoughtful" present on your birthday or Christmas? Everything I've done is thrown out the window, ignored, and pointless?
I know right! As for "thoughtfulness" if you see something you honestly believe I'll want, go ahead, but if it's an obligation for birthdays/showers/Christmas (which I don't even celebrate), don't bother...
Edit to add: and honestly I don't really ever need/want anything, unless I'm replacing something I used up or broke.
I've always felt like a large portion of the problem comes from people's inability to ask for specific things. What ever happened to wish lists? I've been getting into vinyl, because music and the act of consuming it is meaningful to me. So when holidays come around and people ask what I want, I just ask them for their favorite record. I don't think anyone I've asked so far would have thought of it on their own, and yet it's exactly the gift that I want. It will never go to waste.
We have a cultural expectation that gifts need to be a surprise, and I don't really understand it. The people who are best at gift giving often have lists all year long where they record what their recipients-to-be have mentioned wanting, all to avoid simply asking someone "What will be the most meaningful thing I can do for you to show you how much I appreciate you in my life?".
Also, I definitely agree with some of the other posts so far mentioning events-as-gifts. I think it can be a great way to have a thoughtful experience without the waste associated with material gifts.
In my case, it's because there really is nothing I want, but I can't opt out of the event. It's also happened a few times where I've asked for something I needed, that wasn't "fun", so I got a "real" gift instead.
Yes! I have had very similar experiences. I think the worst one was asking for a couple of pairs of nice pants, but instead getting only one pair of pants and fairly expensive (but non-functional) knock-off AirPods. sigh
My wife and I saw the Story of Stuff video a few years ago and we have been slowly and steadily moving away from "stuff".
Moving to a digital model for books/movies/games (minus a few reference books) has helped a lot.
We have been trying to get our families into experiences as opposed to gifts.
Instead of buying a bunch of bullshit lets go someone and see something we havent before.
Memories last. Things dont.
We "Konmari-ed" (or "calamari-ed" when my partner says it) our house a couple years ago, and in the process realized how much stuff we really own, and how little we honestly need. Since then, we haven't really even had the urge to really buy anything.
At work but I will absolutely be looking at that tonight with the misses!!!
I highly recommend reading her first book. Just remember, she's crazy. And if you're going to give it a shot, I do recommend trying her way at least once.