How do you deal with socialization during the Holidays?

We decided a decade or so ago that we just don't visit relatives during Christmas. The packed streets, the need to be "on", dressing up, talking to people. Blech. Me and my SO don't enjoy any of that. We'll rather just stay home in comfy clothes and watch crap on TV. It helps to live far enough away to make a day-trip to said relatives a huge hassle.

Instead we do our rounds with relatives on a weekend in the start of December. We exchange gifts then, chitchat, eat something non-Christmassy and go back home.

Wouldn't have it any other way. Maybe in the future when our parents are older and we might afford a place large enough to get them to our place comfortably.

I enjoy socializing but it can really wear me out. Taking breaks when you need/feel like it to be by yourself and nap or go on a walk or something can be helpful for me.

I am truly fortunate to have a close knit and loving family. I hear a lot of stories about other families with issues I can’t even imagine. So any tiredness I have is my own. I couldn’t really give advice on dealing with toxic situations. I’m also really lucky to have both healthy happy parents. I think a lot about how many more holidays I might have with them and it makes me really cherish these moments as much as I can.

When I was growing up, my family used to go to my mom's mom's house to gather. My mom has 7 siblings and all but one have multiple kids, so it was always a stressful, loud, dramatic nightmare. Her family fell apart when grandma and grandpa died on (petty squabbling over the will by basically everyone except my mom).

Nowadays it's just my mom, sister, her husband, and sometimes my dad and we just make pizza and exchange some small food and drink items (I gave out a bottle of wine and a bag of coffee to everyone, for example). I couldn't be happier with it, it's fairly stress free and actually relaxing. I don't miss the 30 person drama gatherings. My dad still says some questionable things at get togethers (he's being brainwashed by Fox news, so he's starting to parrot bullshit), but other than that, it's nice.

My family get-togethers are pretty informal so if it's too noisy and crowded I just go in the other room and watch tv. Everyone knows I'm an introvert and on the spectrum so they pay no mind. For toxic situations, I tell them how I feel if I feel like it, there's not much more to it. And usually I can do so in a fairly non-offensive way but I rarely entirely disagree with someone as there's usually some kind of survival merit in people's opinions if they're hosted by a large majority of the population. Whether an argument ultimately comes down to survival or just objective knowledge seeking, which you could argue has survival merit (as in science, no such thing as bad data), but if they can't debate without losing their cool then that's when I call it off.

Christmas means tradition to me, not a whole lot else. It's for the kids, I get nothing out of it myself other than vicariously making it as best as it can be for my son. And btw, Happy Festivus.

1. Have an exit plan. Something you can tell the group if you need to leave quickly. Most of the time if you just give a reason it will be easier to slip out of there. For me knowing when and how I can leave helps a lot.
2. Find a stationary place to sit and don't get up! This takes away the pressure of having to find something to do. Now your purpose is to sit and if people want to come and speak with you they can do so on their terms.
3. Assuming you're an adult try to remember you can do whatever you want! Life sucks and it's super difficult for everyone right now. Do what you feel comfortable doing and that's all you need to do. Try not to let pressure or guilt push you to a place you can't handle being. At the end of the day it won't be good for anyone - including your fam but especially for you - if you push yourself beyond what you feel you are comfortable doing.

Just remember, you're a great person no matter how much time you spend with your family!

Holidays can be really hard.

For now, we visit my in laws who are low key and accepting of needs for personal space.

Everyone gathers for meals and at least one party, but there is plenty of down time with separate rooms to read or nap or whatever. No one objects if you take a walk or go out shopping as long as you don't miss the main events.

If I was faced with too much noisy crowded time with no escape, I might arrange to rent a hotel room or an unused office or just go for a walk. But families can be demanding.

I don't have much family. My main obligatory social event is the office holiday/Christmas party, which is a drag for an introvert. It's a kind of socializing where you participate to be polite and avoid making others uncomfortable, but you'd really rather be working or elsewhere.

I'm not Scrooge-esque about the Christmas celebration, and I'm used to being the odd one out among Christians. It's not a matter of begrudging anyone else's opportunity for joy, but the actual execution doesn't seem very joyful for anyone concerned - just another opportunity for stress, painful obligation, and consumption. Generally, I'm happy to be out with or entertaining small groups of friends in a lovely winter season where we've all got time off work concurrently.

This year, I showed up at the office party to cheer for those playing the mostly juvenile or backhandedly hostile (somewhat like "Cards Against Humanity" or "MadLibs" with bosses/coworkers' names inserted) games and clapped for the announcements, while discreetly answering e-mail on my phone.