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How deep is your greatest friendship?
Friendships can be fun, mutually helpful, full of insightful conversations, and sharing something intimately valuable. Many of us are probably curious about these things, and some have thoughts or little stories to tell. Without personal details, what are the "deepest" experiences or conversations you shared in a friendship?
Haven't lived within 300km of him since high school almost 20 years ago and we still consider each other best friends, and make a point of getting together at least twice a year. He once called his partner to get me out of a speeding ticket, yay police corruption in my favour.
We have been heterosexual life partners since he moved to my town in grade 10, our wives joke about us being in love with each other more than them and they're not completely wrong.
He was being minorly bullied by the popular kids but not responding to it. I invited him to join my group and the rest was history. We spent a lot of time together, sometimes we'd just drive around town (5 mins to do a compete circuit of town mind you) for hours listening to music not really talking.
In grade 11 we went and did a summer university program to check out dorm life and sample classes we were interested in. From that we convinced our high school to have a philosophy course.
We played sports together, basketball and wrestling, did a lot of bus trips and hotel together. His wife was also on the wrestling team and I saw it years before they did.
Oh fuck this is cute
This is so beautiful! Nice to see breaking the stereotype of friendships being put below marriages. Friendship totally can be the most important relationship in human life.
we've known each other for almost 30 year's now, we met in grade one and were close right away.
when it was time for highschool he went to a private religious school and I went to the local regular one, we lost contact for two years but when we got back together at a mutual friends birthday all that missed time was made up.
Every weekend was spent together until we finally got our own house, it was in the most perfect location for young 20 something guys, across the road was a fish and chip, a bottle shop, pizza shop and then a milk bar. So many weekends were spent playing WoW and eating bad food.
His mum became a personal care worker, this sparked us to both look into nursing.. we started the personal care course together and this is where I started something that has become a regular joke with all our friends and family, when aksed how we knew each other he would very innocently say "Oh we live together" this would have people jump to conclusions and each time get a nod and "ooooooooooh" he couldn't see what they and I did, others were looking at two young guys in their mid 20's going into nursing who lived together, they didn't want to come right out and ask then having him say "we live together" well lol I would always say "yeah we are heterolife partners" I was and still am a huge Kevin Smith fan so it just felt right.
Skip a few years forward and I was studying to become a nurse (he already was) when his then GF met up with an old friend who she hadn't seen in years, it's cliche but I knew she was the one the moment we met.
A few months after we started dating he broke up with the GF that introduced us, he has always fought depression and this one was a big one. finally he got out of the funk and found someone online, who unfortunately lived 2 hours away!
I hadn't seen him that happy in years, she was the one for him. So he moved in with her, this was the furthest we had been from each other and that was when we found we were expecting, he was the first person I called and asked if he would be the godfather, I remember the reply like it was yesterday "like you had a choice dickhead" he turned up later that day to congratulate us both.
Not long after I had to ask another big question of him, he of course agreed again and was my best man. The speech opening line was something like "It's no surprise (name) is getting married, only I'm sure most of you thought it would be to me"
Then unfortunately as depression does, it came back in full force with a bit extra I woke one morning to many. many. missed calls and texts from his GF he tried to take his life that night (it was 6 years ago and I still don't forgive myself for not picking up the phone) thankfully it was an unsuccessful attempt. They broke up and he moved back with his parents and has tried to work on his mental health ever since.
His folks ended up moving interstate (being in Australia that's a huge fucking distance) to be closer to their eldest and grandchildren, he and I are still as close as ever and talk almost nightly.
He recently had some bad news about his health and it's honestly scaring me to my core, so much that I haven't spoken to my wife about it because she loves him to bits as well. She still jokes that one day we will run off together with the kids.
Sorry that became such a huge wall of text, I couldn't really find a stopping point once I started. If you made it through my ramblings, thank you.
Wow, that's amazing! You guys really have something special going. I hope your friend gets better. I can't imagine how that must feel.
Thank you. There is so much more than I have left out, I felt the wall of text I was typing was long enough lol
On the upside he has a ton of doctors working in his side so hopefully they can work out what is going on and how to sort it. I also have been thinking it's probably time I did a surprise visit up there just to make sure all is well.
It seems the odds are in his favor. Let's hope the doctors find a way to help him.
I imagine that would make him feel really happy. Especially with how close you two are.
we haven't seen each other face to face for about a year now.. it sucks. unfortunately I am casual at the nursing home I work at and the 2nd job I just started hasn't really given me the boost i was hoping for just yet.
but I'll work something out, I'll chat to my wife about it and I know she will move heaven and earth to make it happen lol
A naive question, but why? From the standpoint of sex being a way to make mutual pleasure from certain interaction of human bodies, it shouldn't be anything weird or complex. It's separate from views and ideas about the future as long as birth control is used...
That's what I thought, but I couldn't really help it; sex is affecting the way I feel about people. I guess it has more to do with the intimacy rathehr than the actual sexual stimulation, although I'm too young and inexperienced to put my finger on the cause of this pattern.
The deepest friendship I have ever experienced was in middle school. It was a kid who was scrawny and had crazy thick curly hair (to the point that he claims he had burned out electric hair clippers in the past). Both of us were on the outskirts of middle school society, so we had a lot in common.
I moved away from that middle school but I kept him as a friend for a long time, we IMed quite a lot. When I came out as gay he was accepting and still wanted to be my friend. He was often a sympathetic ear when I told him about miserable I was. But as time passed, we grew apart. When I finally got money enough to join the then-current console generation, I bought a PS3 and he was a die-hard Xbox fan. Games were the last thing we had in common, so that basically ended the friendship.
I had a damaging childhood, so loneliness affects me a little differently than it does others. I don't really care much for friends. The only other person I need to be close to me is my boyfriend and, to a lesser extent, the small portion of my family who is not toxic. If there is one lesson to my life, it's that it's very important to choose the people you let into your life. The only people who should have any kind of emotional pull on you are the people with whom you have established mutual respect.
I'm lucky to have a lot of close friends, but if i had to say my best then i have two.
The first is named batghost and i have known him my entire life, we share a name which to be honest is why we were best friends growing up. But as we grew he earned being my best friend, he is just always there.
My second I met in high-school. We became friends and hung out in the same circles, and then when our mutual friend said he was going to kill himself, i called my friend and he immediately came and calmed both me and our suicidal friend down.
of course my first best friend was there for the aftermath and telling me it was ok and not to blame myself
so from all of that i would say in a word, deep
My closest friendships have been a little bit of a rollercoaster.
Me and T met in eighth grade. She was super shy and socially awkward, I was outgoing and weird. I was looking for a place to sit for shop class and was drawn to a particular table. It had two girls, both entirely talking in third person about themselves. I joined in and hung out with them after class for lunch. Over time me and T became best friends and were seen everywhere together. I later learned that there were rumors circulating wondering if we were lesbians because we spent all our time together. Our friendship went into high school, but we drifted apart when we went to colleges 6 hours away and I started succumbing to mental health issues.
Me and Z met when I was around 16 and he was around 22. There was a local 'nerd shop' that opened up. It sold Magic the Gathering cards, DnD and Pathfinder books, miniatures, etc etc. I would stop in during the day in the summer and after school during the schooling season. When I was stopping in during the summer, there was a man that would stop in for 30-45 minutes during his lunch. He just talked to the shop owner, maybe bought a couple packs, and left.
Eventually, I dragged socially awkward T to the game store with me for a Halloween party. Z was there and dressed in his Renaissance gear with the main shop owner. I was enamored, but still didn't really talk to him. Me and T started going more frequently together. It was a way to get T to meet some other friends and a way for me to merge some of my friends together.
One day me and T walk in and we see Z in the back with a stack of Magic packs and a scale. This intrigued us and we finally approached him. In MtG, there is a chance that you can get an extra foil card in the packs. Z was measuring all the packs he bought to see if he could reasonably guess which ones had a foil in them. Me and T were nerds, so we helped him with calculations and just hung out with him.
Over the next few months me and Z got closer at the shop. I eventually got his phone number and started texting him (I was 17 at this point). Things progressed and by the end of the year we were dating. T got her own boyfriend and the four of us (plus the shop owner and his girlfriend) would hang out roleplaying or hanging out at the nerd shop, or any number of things. My senior year of highschool was filled with Z, T, and all of my friends being nerds and hanging out.
But after highschool was college. I went to a university 6 hours away and tried my hardest to keep in contact, but eventually fell away from T. After only a few months I had a suicide attempt and moved home. I tried to hang out with T more, but she lived 45 minutes away and I was too depressed to make plans. Me and Z started to get on rocky terrain. He was just so stubborn and stable. He wasn't willing to give up anything. I was starting to discover that I was 110% polyamorous and couldn't live a monogamous life. I also eventually wanted a family, he didn't. Eventually, we broke up.
I then started dating D. D was abusive. D pulled me away from all of my friends and isolated me. For all T knew, I was pretty much dead. I visited her once and even then, I was just a shell of myself. We broke up after 1.5 years. Right after me and D broke up I tried to kill myself by ODing on sleeping pills. I stopped after about 5 pills. The next day I scheduled lunch with Z out of the blue. I just wanted to see him. I then went on to date the two amazing partners I have now.
Finally, about 5 years after high school, I fully reached out to Z. I wanted to be friends again. There were a few months of us being distant but talking. He mentioned a girlfriend but wouldn't tell me who. I eventually asked a mutual friend (the shop owner!) and he confirmed it was T. I was shook.... because they seemed so cute together!! Me and Z got closer and closer and it brought me and T closer. Now they're a constant part of my life and I couldn't be happier. I know I can go to Z for help with anything, and we hang out about once a week. T has grown up a LOT, and it's so fun to hang out like we used to.
I love that I have them both in my life again. I'm glad that our friendship survived college, an abusive relationship, and time.
I consider myself a very private person and my best friend is one of, if not the only person that I tell everything. I first met him six years ago when I saw that he was wearing a Porcupine Tree shirt and we instantly started geeking out over prog and just hit it off from there. When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder three years ago, I told him before I even told my parents. My ex left me because of that diagnosis and I was homeless for about a week, and he let me stay at his place before I was able to find my own apartment. I genuinely don't believe I'd be here today if it weren't for him.
If I've got to pick a closest friend/friendship, it's gotta be 2. I can't hold one above the other.
The first is a guy I met when I was 15 (I'm now 19) in a Further Maths class (AP Math? AP Calculus? I'm not sure of the American equivalent). We will call him 'R'. We got on pretty well, and we became friends pretty quickly. He's been there a lot for me, and I don't think he really knows how much I appreciate him. 'R' made Further Maths (at GCSE) and Maths (at A-Level) bearable. I went to my first party with him, stuck with him during my first time at a club (after-formal/after-prom).
We had some pretty good times. For his 18th, I got us VIP tickets for Infinity War which coincided with a "pyjama day" (as part of our last couple weeks of school), so we walked through town to the cinema, stopping in shops along the way, in our pyjamas and dressing gowns. It was like 3 miles, all in all. We bonded over the same shows and ended up quoting them at each other constantly. 'R' helped me through some pretty tough times too. Pretty rough break up toward the start of this year, which also resulted in the loss of a couple friendships, but he stuck by me and said "If they just stopped talking to you like that, they aren't worth it." I actually ended up breaking down at his 18th party (while very drunk, mind you) from the bottled up shit I'd been dealing with (break up, and all that) and he had a laugh while he comforted me.
Which leads me onto the 2nd (but no lesser) friendship. My current girlfriend, who we will call 'Y'. I met 'Y' at 'R's party, just after I had calmed down and got my spirits up a bit (both my happiness and my vodka levels), and decided to chat to new people. We talked for a bit before she had to go. She seemed to like talking to me, so she got my Snapchat off mutual friends, and we started talking there. A lot. 'Y' and I very very quickly became quite close friends. I started to like her (but she couldn't tell, despite it being blindingly obvious) and soon after becoming close friends, we started dating. It's about 6 months in and we are going strong.
Before I met 'Y', I wasn't really that happy between the torturous break-up and the stress of A-levels. She managed to totally transform my mood about myself, and since being with her I've found myself much, much happier than 6 months prior. Sometimes we can talk for hours on end. Other times we don't say much and just enjoy the presence of the other.
I wouldn't say I've got that many close friends, but I don't think you need loads of them. These two are enough for me. They've made me much happier.
Thanks, 'R' and 'Y'.
I'm 36 and have known my best friend for 36 years. His mum cleaned our house for my mum, and we'd be left to play together as babies and even though my mum and his mum weren't friends, and I was (at that time) a lot better off and got sent to private schools and he didn't, they made the effort to let us stay friends as toddlers and kids. He lived close enough that by the time I was 6 or 7 I could wander down the road to his house or him to mine, a 20 minute walk or so. (In those days there were very, very, very few cars on country roads and parents didn't freak out as much about kids being out on their own. And when mine were saying no, his wouldn't care anyway so he'd just walk to mine.) We went to different schools but stayed friends until my family moved a 20 minute drive away when I was about 11. We drifted apart there for a few years, as we didn't have school or geography to bind us. At 14 I heard a shout down the street and turned around to see him, and we stayed in touch again ever since. At times we've lived hundreds of miles from each other, and at times we've not spoken in 6 months or more, but neither gets offended and we always end up touching base again sooner or later. I was his best man and I'm godfather to one of his children. (I'm unmarried and childless, otherwise he'd hold the same roles.)
We don't bare our souls, but when I got in some really nasty trouble a few years ago he was the first friend I told about it, and whatever stupid shit we do/have done we've never judged. We share some interests but are totally different in other ways. We exchange the odd message but don't talk every day, even by text. I'm just not the kind who lives in chat apps, and even though he is he knows that getting a response from me is not guaranteed, even when he's my best friend. There is literally nothing he could say or do that would destroy over 3 decades of friendship. I'd visit him in prison for even the most heinous of crimes.
The friend who actually knows me best, though, is a friend from another country. We met when he ran a Carracho (or maybe Hotline) server 20ish years ago, and we got chatting. We've been close friends ever since, and there's something different about talking to a friend in another country who I very rarely see in person (we've met maybe 3 times in 20 years). He's the person I bare my soul to the most. It's odd, really.