10
votes
How were you as a child/young-person?
Did you obey your parents? Tortured small animals? Did we’ll school? Popular or outcast? Bully our bullied?
Did you obey your parents? Tortured small animals? Did we’ll school? Popular or outcast? Bully our bullied?
I was generally good or great at math (well, the math that they show young children, that is) and also really liked astronomy which strengthened the appearance of really liking my big numbers, was always quiet in school, always made a fuss when I lost something until I learned to take care of it, was notably gullible, impatient and, most importantly of all, naive (I picked up a condom package once from the ground without knowing what it was and wondered why everyone was looking at me so weird. I didn't know my curse words, which is very important among dumb children). I also sometimes ate in unusually large portions (although I never went to eat the stuff they gave people in the courtyard) and still used diapers up to when I was around 8.
When I was a toddler, my mother wanted me to learn English (or maybe it was just so I could watch something else to soothen the pain of being the mother of a very detrimentally autistic son who's still a toddler which is also why I was an only child, my mother's not a strategist) and so she put me to watching English cartoons and more importantly, YouTube videos and because of this, I learned how to use a searchbar by 3, before I even spoke, and learned great English as a kid.
Because of those personal traits and weird habits, I was singled out as the main target to do stupid shit to and prank, so I was bullied and teased lot as a child. Because of my mom's efforts for me learning English, this meant that when people began antagonizing me, I turned entirely inwards to the primarily English content I was watching and became a loner, and worse, someone who can't easily get out of being lonely because the vast majority of people where I live don't speak English beyond what they pick up from pop culture, games or class and crossing that kind of barrier just to get to know my interests in YouTube is not going to happen. So I lost any social skills I might have had, and still need to learn said skills today.
I didn't ask for stuff often when I was a kid so me and my parents had a owner and cat relationship where I just did whatever on the internet and they didn't care and usually only asked me to come out if they wanted to take me somewhere, for me to eat, or go somewhere myself. This, as @Akir said, is not good, particularly given I didn't have any relationships in school as I mentioned above. Sometimes my father slapped me for stuff, but not often.
Have you tried consuming more fiction in Portuguese? This gave me linguistic tools to help navigate social situations. It’s fine to think in English but one must have some kind of bridge to the culture they live in. I’ve read lots of Stanislaw Ponte Preta, Luís Fernando Veríssimo, and Rubem Fonseca, for example (the later two are Brazilian authors very influenced by American culture). I’d also recommend Moliere’s Dom Juan in the wonderful translation of Millor Fernandes. A great way to see rhetoric (and malemolência...) in action.
EDIT: not to mention Brazilian cinema...
I've already talked about my sad childhood in far too much detail on Tildes, so I'm going to answer the core question of who I was when I was younger instead of going into too many events.
I think that I was a fairly well adjusted child, at least until my parents divorced. That was when me and my sister were pretty much left alone and my sister ended up fulfilling a parental role for a while. I didn't have much contact with kids my age except for during school, and we moved frequently so I didn't make many lasting friendships, and it ended up making me very poorly emotionally and socially adapted. I became a loaner and just spent most lunch and recess periods by myself. I also developed empathy very quickly and it ended up being a huge liability. At the same time it would appear that most others were learning how to take advantage of people socially, so I learned first-hand how evil children could be. I remember that in 5th grade the teacher was actually bullied so much by my peers that she ended up having an emotional breakdown in class. But it wasn't until next year (after a move and a change to middle school) that they would start bullying me.
I was very intelligent as a child. The one real gift of my childhood was that my parents and grandparents spent extra money on educational things so that I was able to get a head start on reading. My father was a tech nerd, so I was always on top of technology and computers. By the end of elementary school, I was already reading at a college level, and nothing educational was terribly difficult to me. Unfortunately, when you combine that with a lack of emotional and social skills, that just made things much worse. I was bullied so much that I would fly into blind rages and fight people, and that ended up getting me expelled 2-3 times and put into 'alternative' schools, where things were even worse. The thing that sucked the most was that, at least in my state and school district, you don't actually learn anything in middle school. It is literally just three years of review, so I didn't even have anything to distract me from my misery. The only things I learned in middle schools were escapism and how to turn frustration and anger into depression - something I still do today, unfortunately. It used to be really bad but now I'm living mostly free of it and haven't needed to take medication for it in years.
The last major change in my early life was somewhere around the middle of my Junior year of high school (the penultimate year, for those unfamilliar with the US education system). I was in denial about my sexuality to myself for a long time, and after a lot of self-reflection I realized that I had to come out in order to live a happy life. And the weird thing about that was that coming out to everyone actually made people act nicer to me. I didn't understand it at first, but I think that it's largely a factor of most of the people in my age group finally starting to mature combined with something of a reset on their expectations of me. After all this time, I found it easy to make acquaintances and friends. People who were previously horribly rude and bitchy to me would actually listen to what I had to say, and I found that I could talk to people I had previously hated, find things in common with them, and even make friends with some of them. Though sadly, I still wasn't well adjusted enough to have a continuing relationship with any of them.
While I would like to think that I'm a better person because of the challenges of my childhood, I would not wish my experiences on anyone. They were extremely traumatic and I have spent years trying to fix all the parts of me that broke during those times. So if you have kids, I emplore you: please do everything you can to be in their lives during their adolescence. They need you so much more than you know. Just being able to talk to them is going to be a huge help.
According to my parents, I was an aggitated young child that was hard to discpline.
Later on, school was hard and mindblowingly boring. Classes were like medieval torture. I counted the little tiles on the floor and rubbed my head against the wall to make the time pass. My classmates soon noticed that and gave me an "affectionate" nickname that reflected their shared opinion that I was crazy. They once elected me class president as a joke. I didn't know how to react, and ended up taking it seriously. It was pretty humilliating. I was the target of bullies and got beaten up many times. One of them called my attention and flashed his genitalia during class. I never got the logic of it, but it was definitely traumatizing. Teachers either did nothing or made matters worse. My time in school was not a happy one. I failed two years in high-school. No one knew anything about ADHD back then. My life would have been very different otherwise.
But I was not an angel myself. My (single) mother worked two to three jobs and also took freelance jobs to support us, so me and my sister (basically the same age) spent most of our afternoons alone in the apartment without many activities besides watching television. We occupied our time beating each other in endless fights. I once discovered that if I plugged a headphone into the computer speaker, I could talk into it and amplify my voice in a distorted/creepy manner. I used that to pretend I was a ghost communicating through the device and terrorize my sister. I did that many times, as well as other creative forms of psychological torture. I once waited for an hour under her bed and when she slept I subtly pretended I was a ghost by touching her toe with my finger and making scary noises throuhought the night. Sometimes I wonder if I was the spawn of Satan, but I was probably just jealous of her popularity and good grades. We have a good relationship today, but I feel that she's still a bit scared of me.
I regret that very much.