The one thing I wish someone had told me about physical activity
"You haven't found your sport, yet."
That's it. That's the thing I wish someone… anyone, my friends, my parents, some stranger on the internet… had told me a long time ago.
I was not a very physically active kid. I wasn't fat, but did have above average BMI, didn't enjoy PE, didn't get picked in the football teams, the works. I grew up with this notion that I was just One Of Those People who Don't Like Sports. A complete lie.
My dad was into Rugby, so he put me to Rugby practice as an 8 year old. I was very good at it, mostly because of sheer force (I was really strong and bulky for my age), but I did not enjoy it. The other kids were gross and annoying, it wasn't fun. So a couple years later, I stopped, and my father told me: "Pick another sport."
It's a significant question, one you don't have the true answer to when you're a kid. I picked Fencing, though. I kinda liked it? As much as one can like a physical activity when you're "One Of Those People who Don't Like Sports", right? It was different, original. It wasn't particularly fun, but could I really expect to ever have fun doing physical exercise? After all, I hated going to the gym, and I didn't enjoy running, so surely, I'm just not that into sports.
So that was it. I thought I had found it, the one I happened to pick at the age of 12, after not much soul searching at all. I did it for a few years, picked it back up at 22 for a few more. I tolerated it. Loved my club and coach in one of the cities, something which fooled me into believing I was a fencer. I'm 30 now, and until the age of 27, I had zero doubts about that. I had the gear and years of experience. I would move somewhere new, look for a new fencing club, get demotivated because it's a 40 minute bike ride to get there, and just… not go.
In retrospect, it's obvious that I didn't particularly like fencing, any more than most people like ironing their clothes. Of all the things I'd tell Past Self, I would start with just how motivated I would be only a year later. I would tell them about the subscriptions to 4 different ice rinks across the country, the train subscription with the 1 hour commute to get there, how I'd go 4 days a week and feel sad when it's only 3, and how I'd always be taking my gear with me whenever I go to another country as trying out a new rink would be the most exciting part of an international trip.
I'd tell past self:
"You haven't found your sport, yet. It's just that you don't like the ones you tried. You're still thinking about motivation, but this is about necessity. When you find it, you will fall in love. It will become a core part of your life and identity. It will bring you joy and be your partner, like the piano to the pianist. You found a sport you can tolerate… one day, you'll find one that is truly You.
Keep looking."
PS especially for you dear Tildes reader: If you've never tried it, find your local ice rink and go try skating! If possible, go with someone who has a bit of experience on the ice. Don't hesitate to reply/DM me questions if you're thinking of doing that. And if you do, please tell me all about it afterwards :)
I want to add on that inline skating is an adjacent and very accessible sport. All one needs is a safe area of smooth pavement. And nearly all inline skaters I know switch between ice and inline skating as the seasons change.
I started last summer during the pandemic and fell down the rabbit hole 🕳. I got absorbed into the Dutch skating scene and met lots of new friends who helped mentor me into becoming a relatively advanced skater.
Finding sport friends is important, I’ve found. It’s a self-reinforcing loop. Without sport friends, it’s easy to feel discouraged and lost — and give up. But with sport friends, one looks forward to sporting and is immersed in the scene, and in that way meets even more sport friends — and so the cycle goes.
I tried to get into inline skating while the rinks were closed… I couldn't, I need my ice! Never got comfortable with the pavement. Broke a couple nails and fingers as well hah. Still, my Ice Fly boots lost their blades and gained some inlines instead. I like having them around!
But it is a beautiful sport as well, and I agree with what you're saying as a whole :) I follow a few people on instagram who do on-off ice/roller, eg. @coachhamish and @ktskates_.
This is a wonderful writeup that's full of joy. I'm very happy you found your sport!
I know you mentioned earlier that you're vaccinated and were returning to the rinks: are you able to fully get back into your habit, or do you still have to contend with some restrictions?
Aww thank you. ❤️
I'm back into my habit! I actually started writing this because I couldn't go today for personal reasons, and got sad as it meant I could only go three times this week, then remembered when I'd have a hard time motivating myself to go to the fencing club once every other week…
My new rink has a wonderful restaurant-bar which I've started sometimes bringing my laptop to. I work from there… the other day I even took a standup meeting off my phone from the bench next to the ice. I've managed to get skating really nicely embedded into my schedule, and I'm quite lucky to have a full-time client who supports me fully in that so I renewed my contract with them :)
I even started bringing a few friends again. One of them has been especially excited about skating with me which has been really nice, sharing a bit of that with her. Most people I have to drag by the feet hah :D
Great that you found something you enjoy!
I like martial arts. I did Karate, Taekwondo (two styles), Kung-Fu (briefly), Aikido (briefly), and Jiu-jitsu. I liked the most Taekwondo and Aikido, and hated Brazilian Jiu-jitsu with a passion. Which is a shame because a bunch of my friends love Jiu-jitsu and it would be awesome to keep training with them.
It's kinda hard to find a good Aikido gym around here, since I moved. Besides, because Aikido is still very close to its Japanese roots, the environment tends to be very formal, reverent and hierarchical. Sorry, buddy, but I'm an adult. I want a teacher, not a "sensei". The martial art in itself is beautiful, though.
But one thing I really wanna try is boxing. I just like hitting stuff and occasionally people (but not outside the gym hahaha).
If you don't mind me asking, what was it about Akaido that you liked so much? There's an Akaido center in my city that Ive been curious about going to, but I've never practiced any martial arts before.
Too much to sum up here, but I will try.
Aikido does not strike, and in theory at least does not even injures the opponent. The goal is to enter in harmony with the opponents, neutralizing the threat through circular motion. You know how a bunch of martial arts proclaim to be self defense and proceed to teach you how to break every bone of the opponents body? Aikido kinda says the same thing, but actually follow through. That is why traditional Aikido doesn't have competitions or even sparring. Some say this makes Aikido weak and ineffective in real life situations, but I don't care because that is not why practice martial arts anyway. As someone who's been around martial arts for quite some time, I can tell with certainty that being able to deescalate and run real fast are probably the most useful skills for self defense you can have. Learn how to punch just in case, but that's it.
From a practical standpoint, you'll be doing a lot of tortions and full body movements. You'll learn how to tumble and fall earlier on. Unlike other martial arts, my teacher made sure that we learned to make those potentially deadly motions without provoking injuries or inflicting unnecessary pain. That is beautiful to me.
Wonderful explanation, thanks for the summary. This seems right up my alley, so I think I will give it a try! I wonder if they are accepting new in-person students right now.
Thanks again!
Just a heads up, I know there's at least one Aikido style that does emphasize the martial aspect and has competitions. You'll be probably fine either way, but you may want to find that out before starting a class.
"You haven't found your sport, yet" should be followed by "Your sport today might not be your sport tomorrow, and that's ok".
I've known many people, myself included, who have fallen out of love with their sport and have a difficult time dealing with it. When it has become a "core" part of your identity, doubts about it feel like questioning your faith. "I can't not like it, I can't just stop after putting so much into it. I should feel guilty for just thinking about it. Even if I did stop, what would I do? What would my friends and family think? They've supported me and know me, and I know me, as a [sport] guy." The outcome is very similar to your history with fencing, going through the motions without enjoying it. Sometimes that continues indefinitely, sometimes you get to the point where enough is finally enough.
I think one needs to be comfortable with their identity changing over time regardless. This is a whole other level of conversation but, it's ok to accept that no matter how core something is to you, you may over time find that it is no longer you.
I think you can replace sport in this post with husband/wife. I truly do love skating, it's part of my life in a way only my significant others have been. But although i would give myself fully to it, my life itself isn't bound to it and i may one day have to be comfortable with it leaving my life.
Sad to think about? Sure. But no love without loss, right?
Turns out my sport is Beat Saber. In the past I did swimming, tennis and judo, as well as regular weightlifting at the gym. Never truly got into any of that.
Beat Saber is amazing!! And its one of the only things out there that make me feel like skating does. Oh hop in the game or fitness threads and highlight me if you talk about it. I finally started my beat saber workouts again, happy to report I'm not even that rusty despite a break of several weeks.
Any songs you like? What difficulty do you play on?
Yeah, I'll never be a top player but it definitely keeps me fit and I never get bored of it. I have some rules for it - I try to play levels that challenge me, but are not so impossible that they get frustrating (unfortunately no Camellia, or levels that throw notes at your face or notes hidden behind other notes that you have to memorize, or levels with long stretches of repetitive motions that can cause physical injuries). I almost never retry a level and I never do any training or practice mode runs. My session includes some additional exercises to compensate for the muscles BS moves less often (legs, core, stretches).
To answer your questions, normally I cycle through the songs within batches of levels in my library from oldest to newest over the course of multiple sessions (for maximum variety!) Pick the difficulty as stated in the paragraph above, which is usually Expert or Expert+. Drop to an easier set of songs if I need a break or am not feeling in top shape.
I'm not a streamer in the usual sense of the word, but I do stream myself on twitch (pteraspidomorphi) so I can rewatch later if I'm looking for the reason why I messed something up, and so one or two friends can join me on occasion and chat while I'm playing; levels requested by friends or passing strangers, if they don't suck, get naturally incorporated into the cycle and I'll hit them again once I reach the end and go back to the top of the library. There are usually one or two vods so you can go check that out if you want to see which songs I played in the last couple of weeks.
Awesome I'll check out your vods when I get home!