BailerAppleby's recent activity
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Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies
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Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies
BailerAppleby LinkNiu Lai I watched half of Niu Lai, the terrible Chinese animated film that has become a viral hit, earning more profit per cost than even Obsession on its paltry production. It looks terrible. It...Niu Lai
I watched half of Niu Lai, the terrible Chinese animated film that has become a viral hit, earning more profit per cost than even Obsession on its paltry production. It looks terrible. It has awful character models and stiff animation. It should not succeed. And yet, much like how The Room won its cult status despite its obvious shortcomings, Niu Lai wins over its audiences by presenting themes that reward continued watching despite hammy dialogue and wooden, inexpressive faces.
I don't know what it's called, but there's a specific sub-genre of Asian filmmaking in which story and dialog take a backseat to the feeling of scale. There'll be these long, faraway shots of a beautiful, lush jungle; the protagonist is there way off in the distance, allowing the audience to contemplate the inconsequence of man and the impermanence of time. Niu Lai is kind of like that, but it doesn't have the budget for beautiful vistas or high detail textures (or any textures at all, really); instead, it keeps this feeling in its back pocket as it the camera lingers on a shot where nothing happens for too long, or follows a dialogue that goes nowhere.
This may sound funny, but Niu Lai is very spiritual. It is very philosophical in how its weird-ass talking cow with a human face protagonist tries to find his identity and place in the world. But it's not overt in how it does it, instead allowing the audience to experience these ideas as themes, the same way The Room is able to put together a coherent, resolving theme in a movie with incoherent, terrible components of a film.
To me, I think the creator of Niu Lai may not be a genius, but he certainly had a true vision for this movie. He had a specific story to tell, and despite all the shortcomings (oh my god the lighting, the PS1 textures), he was able to do it. Most importantly, this vision conforms with China censorship laws, meaning that there is not one part of this movie that anyone can criticize for being anti-society or subversive. It has talking animals; the animals do not live in China, nor do they reflect at all as metaphors for culture and government. But to me, this is a very Chinese movie that is made for Chinese audiences that are used to government-approved slop and are willing to test the limits of their taste ironic appreciation.
I could be wrong about Niu Lai. I've only watched half of it. I'm not inspired to watch the rest. Maybe something will happen at the end to change everything around. And yet, Niu Lai has the tiniest semblance of a plot, making for following its narrative the same way you aren't able to retell a Bob & Dave Mr Show episode from top to bottom.
As good as this is for the creator, this must be embarrassing for a Chinese film industry stuck on obligatory anti-Japanese war films and influencer stunt casting that usually experiences box office success by running bought-out screenings in completely empty halls in the dead of night. Well, if not that, then at least a Chinese audience member can look up the grotesque, inexpressive face of a half-man, half-cow and contemplate upon the nature of the universe.
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Comment on Reminder to myself that my employer does not give a shit about me in ~life
BailerAppleby LinkI hear you. Your reminder is a reminder to me that I am replaceable, even for all the worry and concern I put into my job. All the corrections I make, all the strategic initiatives I propose... I...I hear you. Your reminder is a reminder to me that I am replaceable, even for all the worry and concern I put into my job. All the corrections I make, all the strategic initiatives I propose... I need to remind myself that I'm just a follower who doesn't need to be listened to. Especially when I am right.
Hunker down. Don't stand out. Answer with "will do", and "received with thanks". Be more agreeable. Make for a better workplace.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
BailerAppleby LinkBlackberry Honey I may have gotten in over my head with this one. Click for more So I got this free. And I think to myself, why not? So I give it a try. And now I'm overwhelmed. Blackberry Honey...Blackberry Honey
I may have gotten in over my head with this one.
Click for more
So I got this free. And I think to myself, why not? So I give it a try. And now I'm overwhelmed.
Blackberry Honey is what I think is called a yuri story. Not knowing which side of the LGBT tag this on, whether realistic or fantasy, lurid or sober, I booted up this linear visual novel to have exactly half of my expectations met, and the other half wildly exceeded.
The story follows Lorina, a plucky young woman who takes up a new job working as a maid at the Lennard mansion who finds oppressive work conditions, unfriendly coworkers, a gruelling lifestyle, and love.
The things I have come to dread about this genre are all here. As a visual novel, the story likes to take its time, wallowing at a slow pace during story beats that go nowhere, making it so that each button press feels satisfying as another step taken in this mammoth journey of words. More than that, visual novels tend embrace their limitations wholeheartedly, resulting in long passages where you're looking at nothing but a background image, or only ever see character portraits of the main characters. And I was not prepared for that.
These ladies are loaded for bear. They have personality to spare, so to speak. Or to be more colloquial about it, remember that graphic artist from the Conan show who was featured many times for his hobby of drawing anime woman with enormous breasts? This is Pierre territory. Honkers if you're horny. Like, 5318008 times a million. Like, if the state allowed people to choose their own capital punishment, and you said "motorboat," this would be your death.
It could be that I'm very superficial to focus on these points of interest, but the fact remains that the story never brings it up. No one talks about it; it never once becomes relevant to the story. The characters have massive boobs; deal with it. And so the story goes on.
And how it does. Maybe others have used it before, but there's a genre I like to call "suffering porn". It's usually a soap opera about an unlucky person and the oppression they encounter every day. As the lowest person they know, every encounter shows the hero to be exploited and picked. It brings a lot of satisfaction to the viewer for being an audience stand-in; you get to sympathize with someone else's suffering and also enjoy it blamelessly. It's a show of solidarity that acknowledges the injustice of the system without the messiness of directly challenging it.
And, very smartly, that's what Blackberry Honey is: an indictment of the class struggle that is Victorian England. All of the conflicts and injustice come from this unfair system that oppresses people like Lorina. There is no escape from the exploitation inherent this world.
But Blackberry Honey wasn't written by Charles Dickens, who might've had a big boob fetish, it's possible. The story uses the backdrop of an unjust Victoria England and populates it a complicated character like Lorina. For one thing, she's very naive. When she calls out the other maids for not being good workers, the others rightfully call her out for allowing herself to be exploited. To what use are her demonstrated traits of loyalty and diligence if she is just meat to be ground up, never to be appreciated? If she's not smart enough to avoid work like the others, then it's on her. What's more, Lorina isn't as virtuous as she may think she is. She is full of malice, wishing retribution on her fellow maids and her 12-year-old mistress, Constance.
This is all to say that she's a complicated character. She's not some Mary Sue, or some helpless damsel. No, she's somebody with conflicting morals. That has gargantuan breasts. Like, back-problems-by-30-sized chest pillows that she is depicted as using one arm to hoist up in order to stand. It's like you have to divorce the text from the visuals, that her oversexualized appearance is somehow inconsequential to the suffering porn of the story. It's like it's not supposed to be titillating, but there most definitely will be porn be to come. I understand that this is a slow burn, that the agony of the daily oppression will build up Lorina's eventual lesbian lay-up with Taohua who, from where I am currently in the story, only shows up once but remains top-of-mind. But I'm too engrossed to get the Kleenex out.
Blackberry Honey is very far removed from other LGBT-type games I've played before like Get in the Car, Loser and Arcade Spirits that have more realistic contemporary portrayals. It's a long way before I get to the end, but I'm most interested to see what the game has to say about Victorian England, but I feel the lesbian love story will get in the way of that.
Stray Observations (so far)
- Redheads? From France?
- This all-female depiction of Victorian England is a lot like the 70s Blaxploitation technique of creating all-black worlds, like The Wiz.
- I suppose Lorina can be viewed as a moral character who isn't dumb and has to do the right thing, even if that means accepting her exploitation. I guess. Having this interpretation sure won't get in the way of the porn.
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Comment on Neuromancer | Teaser trailer in ~movies
BailerAppleby LinkTell your Kalshi bookie to bet the house on this being the better cyberpunk show over Blade Runner 2099. If there's money left over, the small bet is that out of the two, this one will also be the...Tell your Kalshi bookie to bet the house on this being the better cyberpunk show over Blade Runner 2099. If there's money left over, the small bet is that out of the two, this one will also be the one to fail.
The world is not fair: that's such a great theme for these streaming services to have in their shows.
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Comment on Mobile Suit Gundam RG XARX-ZERO | Teaser PV in ~anime
BailerAppleby Link ParentI've seen the error of my ways, and do not want to miss out on any more robo homo fomo. Will look into your rec some more.I've seen the error of my ways, and do not want to miss out on any more robo homo fomo. Will look into your rec some more.
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Comment on Mobile Suit Gundam RG XARX-ZERO | Teaser PV in ~anime
BailerAppleby Link ParentWell, why didn't you say so in the first place? I would totally watch an anime that was directed by Michael Mann, had dialog from a Christopher Nolan movie and looked like a UFC promotional poster.A mecha show powered by vibes and incredible homoerotic energy
Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? I would totally watch an anime that was directed by Michael Mann, had dialog from a Christopher Nolan movie and looked like a UFC promotional poster.
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Comment on Mobile Suit Gundam RG XARX-ZERO | Teaser PV in ~anime
BailerAppleby Link ParentThanks for the rec. Don't take this the wrong way, but that trailer looks too reasonable for me. The internet is pretty great sometimes. I was all ready to be told off, that the cape has a in...Thanks for the rec. Don't take this the wrong way, but that trailer looks too reasonable for me.
The internet is pretty great sometimes. I was all ready to be told off, that the cape has a in depth, in-show reason, that there's some canonical reason that this particular giant made-of-steel robot needs to wear a fluttery made-of-textile cape like he rides a giant robot horse and it gets cold at night in outer space, but then stuff like this happens. Thanks.
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Comment on A friend showed me another "learned a new language" site in ~comp
BailerAppleby Link ParentIs the mentoring any good? That seems to be the big draw of this site, though I think I've seen it elsewhere too. How did your friend introduce this site as -- what's the word on it?Is the mentoring any good? That seems to be the big draw of this site, though I think I've seen it elsewhere too. How did your friend introduce this site as -- what's the word on it?
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Comment on An unusual-looking raccoon nicknamed Jimothy is winning hearts across the internet for his short, round body in ~enviro
BailerAppleby LinkIt's too late; the trend has exceeded its shelf life for hipness. The brands have already hijacked the trend on their socials. I found out about from The Daily Show, which mean I had exactly 12...It's too late; the trend has exceeded its shelf life for hipness. The brands have already hijacked the trend on their socials. I found out about from The Daily Show, which mean I had exactly 12 hours to crow about before the olds are talking about it on Facebook.
All the same, Jimothy is cute, even for a trash panda.
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Comment on Mobile Suit Gundam RG XARX-ZERO | Teaser PV in ~anime
BailerAppleby LinkI hope the cape big enough for a giant gundam robot is never explained. The same way I keep hoping there's a scene where they'll be fighting, and the hero gets pinned to the ground without his...I hope the cape big enough for a giant gundam robot is never explained. The same way I keep hoping there's a scene where they'll be fighting, and the hero gets pinned to the ground without his laser sword/giant gun, he reaches around in desperation, finally finds something just before he's choked to death, and smashes the enemy robot's head with a to-scale giant glass bottle. Like a humongous five-foot high glass bottle. Please, never bring it up again, not even in the prequels.
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Comment on Blade Runner 2099 | Official teaser in ~tv
BailerAppleby LinkYes. Another show from Amazon about overambitious corporations that take over the world. After Fallout and The Boys, I can't wait to see their latest take on corporate overreach. I'm so glad that...Yes. Another show from Amazon about overambitious corporations that take over the world. After Fallout and The Boys, I can't wait to see their latest take on corporate overreach. I'm so glad that the cyberpunk dystopia will be available for me as a consumer to share and enjoy as licensed merchandise. I'm putting in the preorder for the Dr. Eldon Tyrell hand juicer that works by pressing your thumbs into his eye sockets.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
BailerAppleby Link ParentDude, Rubinite looks amazing: pixel art souls-like with washed pastels and great animation? Its difficulty could take years off my life and I would still play it. LarsGadiel looks like as if...Dude, Rubinite looks amazing: pixel art souls-like with washed pastels and great animation? Its difficulty could take years off my life and I would still play it. LarsGadiel looks like as if Tarantino wasn't into movies but was a nerd for obscure sidescrollers; it looks so crammed full of influences, but I couldn't name any.
Impeccable taste, good sir. Your Steam wishlist beggars my imagination.
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Comment on Atari makes Universal movie deal for ten iconic game properties in ~movies
BailerAppleby LinkIt's not whether or these games are worth making movies out of, it's whether or not you own the licensing. The current keeper of Atari looks to make bank by exploiting these properties in a game...It's not whether or these games are worth making movies out of, it's whether or not you own the licensing. The current keeper of Atari looks to make bank by exploiting these properties in a game where they own all the rules.
Well-made movies can flop. Movie stars grow old and become controversial. No, if you're a savvy investor, you'll put your money into a licensed property, one that allows for licensing merchandise, one that can replace actors at will. It doesn't matter if it stinks; what matters is that they keep all the money, especially in a situation where it becomes a hit.
This isn't surprising news at all. They've been doing this for years with board games and toys, and the new trend involves internet trends something something backrooms. Michael Bay is doing a movie about the Skibidi toilet meme. Even though smash hits like The Odyssey suggest moviegoers like watching good movies about good stories, we're not going to get breakout original Hollywood movies like Back to the Future again. Investors aren't going to pony up for a shot in the dark when they can invest in something that already has huge name recognition like Pong and Centipede.
And it will make money. Atari has huge cultural significance with the 50+ crowd. It's huge for retro gaming and know-it-all hipsters. Sure, it's not Call of Duty, but to an investor, it still represents a safe bet that will be huge if it pays off.
It doesn't matter if these movies will be good or not. It doesn't matter if they are authentic to the lore or if Chris Pratt will dress as a game-accurate green rectangle as he jumps around in a field of mushrooms. This is the way that big blockbuster movies will be made from now on. It won't be made unless somebody somewhere can make a billion dollars off of it.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
BailerAppleby Link ParentMany kind people from the Kingdom of Tildes have shared their games with me, but I have unfortunately not played any yet except Gato Roboto) That's because I have fallen down a typing game rabbit...Many kind people from the Kingdom of Tildes have shared their games with me, but I have unfortunately not played any yet except Gato Roboto) That's because I have fallen down a typing game rabbit hole. They include:
- Cryptmaster: BEST OVERALL
- Typing of the Dead: BEST ACTION
- Poetry Pigeon: BEST DESIGN
- Sisyphe's Backspace: BEST CONCEPT
- SPACE BEAR: BEST ALL CAPS
After the sublime experience of Cryptmaster, I wanted more. And though there is nothing like Cryptmaster, there are a lot of typing games, so I picked up Typing of the Dead during the Summer Sale; it wasn't on a big discount, but I knew I would play it if I bought it, and I was right.
But there's a problem: none of these games teach you typing; they're not going to improve your skills or give you any helpful feedback. For example, none of these four games tell you your average words per minute typed, meaning you won't know if playing them improves your typing. But there is one...
Keeb Quest: Typing Battles
The typing tutor with RPG game-fication that features a good enough balance between video game and educational software that it actually can improve your typing.
Click for more
The worst thing for me about Keeb Quest: Typing Battles is that it doesn't quite deliver on its name and marketing. The game unfortunately comes up short as an RPG that allows you to explore dungeons and fight monsters with words, making for a worthwhile grind that let's you practice your typing. Instead, there's a Classic mode that allows you to word-fight successive rounds of enemies punctuated by the occasion mini-boss; it's reminiscent of the RPG experience, but definitely not anything close to the real deal.
But. It's hard to be disappointed when Keeb Quest generously delivers a wide variety of game modes that are aligned with its role as a typing tutor. In addition to Classic mode, there are:
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Adventure Mode: Practice your skills by typing out a branching interactive story. Again, sounds great, but falls short, mostly to do with the game's copious use of AI assets for its text and accompanying visuals. The stories are all bland, and none of the choices feel consequential. It's just nice that this mode maintains the same RPG genre themes for a unified playthough.
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Boss Rush: Take on the mini-bosses found in Classic mode. Feels like Arcade mode. Good for a quick round; this game keeps a frenetic pace, so in no time flat it will change from way too slow to way too fast. An ongoing problem with typing games is that sometimes the gameplay displays words in a way that won't help with your typing progress, like the way the words fall from the top of the screen for the King Slime mini-boss.
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Academy Mode: touch typing lessons and drills. This by far is the best thing about this game for me. Sure, there are other typing tutorials that do the same, but they don't do it with the style and game-fication of Keeb Quest, which kept me engaged enough that I can feel my skills improving.
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Stats and Leaderboard: See your progression and compare yourself to other players. This is another big benefit to this game. There are stats up the wazoo here. Separate stats and leaderboards for the different modes; report cards shown at the end of every game take to show you where you went wrong.
I've been looking a long time for the perfect dungeon crawling typing game. Cryptmaster came close, and now Keeb Quest does its thing by actually being effective at helping you make demonstrable growth. The dev is very responsive; having gotten out of Early Access earlier this year, the game received its most recent update just yesterday.
I am most interested in trying out The Chef's Shift, Touch Type Tale, and Blood Typers next. Until then, I've tried out a few free typing games:
- Keyboard Soldier: Patently unfair, but one of the better made "type a word before it comes murder you" games.
- Funny Bones: Macabre typing tutor that leans more on its great style than actionable gameplay.
- Letterword: Off putting presentation, but this typing roguelike where you're a letter who has to perform chores or die could grow on you.
Also playing Orbi's Chronicles, but it hasn't grown on me yet even though its an RPG-type game that allows you to grind in dungeons by solving word puzzles, doing what Letter Quest: Grimm's Journey and Spellspire both alluded to but never ended up delivering.
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Comment on Avengers: Doomsday | Official trailer in ~movies
BailerAppleby Link ParentIf we're taking this seriously, I would have to say that the proper casting for Uncle Ben is Robert Downey Jr. Iron Man was Peter Parker's surrogate dad, so if RDJ is coming back as Doom, then PP...If we're taking this seriously, I would have to say that the proper casting for Uncle Ben is Robert Downey Jr. Iron Man was Peter Parker's surrogate dad, so if RDJ is coming back as Doom, then PP will consider Doom to be his surrogate dad too. By that logic, if there is an Uncle Ben around, it would make sense for it to be RDJ or someone that looks/acts like him.
AI Stan Lee makes sense until you consider you're casting a dead actor for a character whose defining trait is his death. Too many goodbyes, sorry.
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Comment on Avengers: Doomsday | Official trailer in ~movies
BailerAppleby Link ParentDear online comrade, for your health and sanity, please don't watch anything else by the Russos. In fact, just pretend in the nine (!) years since Infinity War, just pretend the Russos have done...Dear online comrade, for your health and sanity, please don't watch anything else by the Russos. In fact, just pretend in the nine (!) years since Infinity War, just pretend the Russos have done nothing. Just pretend that Feige kept them cryogenically sealed in the lower vaults at Disney. Do not look up anything to do with their involvement in the most expensive movie ever made designed to watched while scrolling through social media on your phone. Do not search how the enormous success of a billion dollar movie revealed them to be total hacks incapable of developing original ideas.
Dude, just watch Endgame again. You'll always have that. And the paintball episodes, those were cool.
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Comment on Avengers: Doomsday | Official trailer in ~movies
BailerAppleby LinkBecause you can't win anything unless you risk it all, here are more unsolicited, wild predictions to add to the heap of previously mentioned predictions that I'm staking my nerd cred on: The...Because you can't win anything unless you risk it all, here are more unsolicited, wild predictions to add to the heap of previously mentioned predictions that I'm staking my nerd cred on:
- The Thunderbolts? Barely an inconvenience: So, if you haven't heard, there was a whole movie that explained the lovable, ragtag scamps called The Thunderbolts are the new Avengers, setting the stage for a showdown. I'm predicting this issue will barely be mentioned in the final film. It will be resolved off-screen or in a single line of dialog. The Russos don't care, you don't care, but I will miss John Walker, an asshole true to his heart.
- Self-referential reverence: Avengers movies mark the end of an era. It's natural for such a tent-pole movie to look back at the road that led to it. For this movie, there was very little lead up, but that won't stop the Russo who will cram it full of references to prior Marvel movies. My longshot prediction is that the Russos are snobs and will choose to reference only the most important Marvel movies: the ones they made. So expect nods to the last two Avengers movies and Captain America's second solo movie.
- Subverting the subversion: It is a cliche by this point -- a moment of lividity will be broken up by a snide, self-aware remark (I think done to perfect by the 2nd Guardians "Look at us standing in a circle" speech). The Russos know this, and will fake us out by doing a dramatic scene for real... but with many pregnant pauses, trolling the audience that the 4th wall will be broken, but it won't.
- Fan service for the infamishable: Marvel is parked so far back in the doghouse that they know they have got to give fans what they want. Like how the Spider-Man pointing meme made its way into No Way Home, there are going to copious amount of fan service in this movie. Hulk doesn't bust out of the Hulkbuster? He will here. "Avengers Assemble" doesn't get spoken enough? It will be said not once, not twice, but three times here (not by the same person, like one of them will be Doctor Doom).
- Impossible longshot so I'm just going to say it: There is one huge thing that has been missing from the MCU. I think it will appear sooner than later, but I don't see how it will fit into this movie. It's most likely (I think) to show up in the Spider-Man movie following this year's. And that's Uncle Ben. The MCU Spider-Man was an underdeveloped hero for the longest time. He really only reached the level of Sam Raimi's Spider-Man by No Way Home. This is because the MCU didn't fully become Spider-Man until he gets told "with great power comes great responsibility". This line has always been Uncle Ben's, but since this gets attributed to Aunt May in the MCU, Uncle Ben becomes a unnecessary character. This will change when his character finally gets introduced. I don't think in this movie, but if it does, he won't say much, just wiggle his eyebrows as Peter Parker's Spider-Sense confirms his identity as true. But because the stakes are so high, I have a hunch Uncle Ben will get introduced in this movie.
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Comment on Avengers: Doomsday | Official trailer in ~movies
BailerAppleby Link ParentNo. They. Do. Not.but the Russo’s always manage to pull it off.
The Grey Man
The Electric StateNo. They. Do. Not.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
BailerAppleby Link ParentThanks for the recommendation, looks delightfully unhinged! So the 4K rhythm game is a representation of the way the protagonists types, spamming the internet in an attempt to win it for her...Thanks for the recommendation, looks delightfully unhinged! So the 4K rhythm game is a representation of the way the protagonists types, spamming the internet in an attempt to win it for her obsession? What a premise, I can't believe it hasn't been used before AFAIK.
This game does not look marketable at all. But a quick look at dev/publisher Alliance Arts shows a roster full of counter-culture games that don't make for good merchandising. I have got to keep my eye out for these guys.
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