ShallanButGay's recent activity

  1. Comment on Hey tilders, how many of us are queer? in ~talk

    ShallanButGay
    Link Parent
    If I can't have Shasnah I will settle for Shalladin, but it is DEFINITELY settling

    If I can't have Shasnah I will settle for Shalladin, but it is DEFINITELY settling

  2. Comment on Hey tilders, how many of us are queer? in ~talk

    ShallanButGay
    Link Parent
    I don't think many other people would have the same answer, so it's likely it's your own personal relationship with gender that's making it difficult for you to understand some of this.

    I don't think many other people would have the same answer, so it's likely it's your own personal relationship with gender that's making it difficult for you to understand some of this.

    1 vote

  3. Comment on Hey tilders, how many of us are queer? in ~talk

    ShallanButGay
    Link Parent
    Honestly, I'm not sure what to say, but not in an offended sense. Transitioning specifically addresses body dysphoria, or the feeling that you're trapped in a body that does not match with what it...

    Honestly, I'm not sure what to say, but not in an offended sense.
    Transitioning specifically addresses body dysphoria, or the feeling that you're trapped in a body that does not match with what it is supposed to be.
    I don't know that there even is an equivalent to gender I could use as a comparison, because in terms of societal constructs it's pretty much the most important one we have. I guess I'll just propose this: what if your life was exactly the same as it is right now, except everyone thought of you as female, referred to you as she, and your body had the corresponding parts? Would you feel comfortable still?

    1 vote

  4. Comment on Hey tilders, how many of us are queer? in ~talk

    ShallanButGay
    Link Parent
    Yes, it very much is! Very chuffing to have someone recognize it.

    Yes, it very much is! Very chuffing to have someone recognize it.

    3 votes

  5. Comment on Hey tilders, how many of us are queer? in ~talk

    ShallanButGay
    Link Parent
    Well, first of all, I wouldn't worry so much about being offensive- in my experience as long as you make it clear you're approaching with an open mind and an honest intent to learn, people are...

    Well, first of all, I wouldn't worry so much about being offensive- in my experience as long as you make it clear you're approaching with an open mind and an honest intent to learn, people are pretty cool about it. It's when you get into questions like "How does it feel to know you're going to Hell?" that you're going to get a more vitriolic response.
    I guess I'll just go through what you're asking and try to hit as many points as I can.
    In regards to the gender norms, by which I assume you mean that people transitioning often want to appear as much like their actual gender as they can, I do agree with you to a certain extent. A lot of that is simply from the fact that, when you've spent the first however many years of your life being shunted into one category, it's pretty fun to explore the other. I know a lot of trans people identify as genderqueer or fluid, meaning they don't think of themselves as one or the other, but I'd imagine they also enjoy trying the things they couldn't earlier in life.
    Perhaps another facet to this is that, much like you may have heard that the biggest homophobes are often closeted themselves due to internalized self-hatred, although I would be deeply skeptical of any statistic purporting that was true to any meaningful percentage, trans people who are questioning their gender may try to seem more like their assigned one as an attempt to stamp out their confusing feelings. And then, later on, they haven't done anything related in the slightest to their preferred gender.
    And now to the meat of the question- what does it mean or how would you even know to be trans?
    The traditional response is "how do you know you're cis?" but although it is quite pithy and suitable for deflecting unwanted attention in a large group I find it unhelpful on the whole.
    To be honest, I'd say it encompasses everything you've mentioned. I don't believe there are specific terms for the first few, but if you're interested in further reading you might look up "gender dysphoria".
    I would say for me, the largest factor that led to my realization was how I related to characters in media. I would find myself ignoring or not caring about the ones of my assigned gender, while the ones I wanted to be were all the opposite.
    I hope this was helpful, and please do say if there's anything else you'd like to ask about.

    10 votes

  6. Comment on Hey tilders, how many of us are queer? in ~talk

    ShallanButGay
    Link Parent
    Not OP, but also trans and gay. You're good, not being offensive at all. I always love when people actually ask these things instead of getting perhaps false secondhand information. The thing to...

    Not OP, but also trans and gay. You're good, not being offensive at all. I always love when people actually ask these things instead of getting perhaps false secondhand information.
    The thing to remember is, pre-transition we were still the same gender- we just didn't look like it. There's a wide range when people actually realize this, but it's very much the same as sexuality in that respect.
    And yes, it would be the identified gender that we'd be attracted to.
    Hot tip- assigned gender works better as a term.
    I hope this was helpful, and please say if you have any other questions- I'd love to get deeper into this.

    32 votes

  8. Comment on Anyone like Pokemon Go? in ~games

    ShallanButGay
    Link
    I had a great time playing it when it first came out, but it drained my phone's battery too quickly and was too dependent on cellular data for me to keep up with it. If those aren't an issue, I...

    I had a great time playing it when it first came out, but it drained my phone's battery too quickly and was too dependent on cellular data for me to keep up with it. If those aren't an issue, I say more power to you! One thing I remember being a lot of fun was using the lure powders at two near locations and walking back and forth- good for you, too.

  9. Write a ~ story!

    ~creative Text 125 words
    Hey guys, I hope this is the right place for this idea. So, given the more structured community and higher required levels of contribution, I thought writing a collective story could work out....

    Hey guys, I hope this is the right place for this idea. So, given the more structured community and higher required levels of contribution, I thought writing a collective story could work out. I've done this before on other forums and it's always a blast.
    So, the way it works is, I'll start the story off, and then whoever sees it first will continue with anywhere from just one more sentence to multiple paragraphs. Just reply to the directly previous segment. To avoid homogenization, try not to contribute multiple times without letting other people go perhaps twice in between. With all that in mind, let's get started!

    Rufus smacked his forehead as he went to sit down at his computer- he'd forgotten about his date.

    18 votes