chrysanth's recent activity
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Comment on Graduated and moving to an apartment in a major city in the US, advice/tips? in ~life
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Comment on Graduated and moving to an apartment in a major city in the US, advice/tips? in ~life
chrysanth Link ParentI believe you, but I'm wondering if you're offering advice on how to handle realtors in case I am using one, or because you think it's better to have a realtor? I was expecting to go this alone,...Doing this will also save you from hearing about what areas are "bad" from racist locals. Also keep in mind that realtors in some cities still practice racial segregation pretty heavily. They want to put you in a house and will look for an area full of people they think you match with.
I believe you, but I'm wondering if you're offering advice on how to handle realtors in case I am using one, or because you think it's better to have a realtor? I was expecting to go this alone, and I don't know any realtors I could trust in the cities I'm hoping to live in, in any event.
Also 99% of independent rental listings online are a scam. They either want your info to sell to telemarketers or they will try to get you to send a small application fee. I've even seen listings that were up for weeks on Craigslist that were a scam. And lots of people will just straight rent out places they don't own. They will even meet with you, sign paperwork, etc. They may even go so far as to break into a vacant property to show it to you. Always double check that the owner of the property is aware you are trying to rent it.
Gotcha. Most of the listings I've seen online seem to be associated with a real estate or property management company, but I will keep that in mind and be wary of scams.
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Comment on Graduated and moving to an apartment in a major city in the US, advice/tips? in ~life
chrysanth Link ParentI'd heard of students subleasing, but not those month to month leases. Like you mentioned, though, they seem like options only if I'm desperate, and I don't want to leave a bad situation at home...I'd heard of students subleasing, but not those month to month leases. Like you mentioned, though, they seem like options only if I'm desperate, and I don't want to leave a bad situation at home just to get into a worse one elsewhere. Things aren't that bad yet, I guess.
Definitely checking reviews, yep. I was looking at some nice places I'd found, but when I thought to check the reviews, the property management companies had been inundated with (credible) negative ones. Means I probably don't have any choice but to rent a temporary place so that I can evaluate all the places in person. Which would give me the opportunity to really thoroughly look through each apartment like you suggest! Thank you for all those specific recommendations of things to keep an eye out for. Going straight into my notes so I remember to do all that once I'm actually reviewing apartments.
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Comment on Graduated and moving to an apartment in a major city in the US, advice/tips? in ~life
chrysanth Link ParentI assumed studio just meant "one-bedroom apartment to myself", but I see it may have a meaning more specific than that, so yeah, I see what you mean. Thanks for catching that! Yeah, I did figure...I assumed studio just meant "one-bedroom apartment to myself", but I see it may have a meaning more specific than that, so yeah, I see what you mean. Thanks for catching that!
Yeah, I did figure that hiring at most companies would be slow during the holidays, since everything gets slower during the holidays. It would be a pain to move during the holidays and the cold weather even if I could find a job offer now, so the plan is definitely to just start looking in January with the hopes of settling in within the following 2-3 months.
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Comment on Graduated and moving to an apartment in a major city in the US, advice/tips? in ~life
chrysanth Link ParentAll that does make sense, I suppose, with the added context. You have a point that the workplace will likely be understanding about me trying to find a place. And thanks for the tip with Rently! I...All that does make sense, I suppose, with the added context. You have a point that the workplace will likely be understanding about me trying to find a place. And thanks for the tip with Rently! I will check that out.
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Comment on Graduated and moving to an apartment in a major city in the US, advice/tips? in ~life
chrysanth Link ParentIt's really surprising to me that landlords aren't interested in this! I assumed they would be all over it. This is really smart, yeah. I'll definitely ask if this is a possibility. I see what you...it's not even been a negotiation but a flat "no."
It's really surprising to me that landlords aren't interested in this! I assumed they would be all over it.
asked the apartment if I could have a foam mattress shipped to them before my move-in date
This is really smart, yeah. I'll definitely ask if this is a possibility.
This move is the most leverage you'll ever have. If you can get a job and get set up in an AirBNB while you hunt for your long-term place, you can walk from any apartment that isn't exactly what you want until you find the right one.
I see what you mean, but I'm not sure it's that simple? It's going to be difficult to meet with landlords if I'm working during the day, and asking for days off right after getting hired doesn't seem like it'll make a great impression at work. Also, if I can't find a place by the end of my reservation on the AirBnB, then that puts me in a position where I've got to spend money on another AirBnB or apartment hotel. It's easy for someone else to make a booking that blocks me from extending my current booking, and then I'd have to pay for another AirBnB/apartment hotel reservation or not have a bed - not a lot of leverage there. That's in addition to probably eating out all of the days I'm in the AirBnb/apartment hotel because their kitchens are poorly stocked, can't cook in them.
In this scenario, I guess having the job means there's more of a cushion for all the spending I'll be doing, but it also seems to get in the way. In fairness, though, it seems like it's going to be a logistical challenge and/or full of uncertainty no matter what route I decide to take.
Make sure you read them. Many of them also want you to do stuff that I absolutely wouldn't do like maintain their heating and AC and sewers.
Oh yeah, I will definitely read the lease very carefully, at a minimum, before signing it. The warning to keep an eye out for specific details is helpful. That's absolutely nuts that they'd try to get you on the hook for that by just hoping you don't read. I guess it must work on some people though, or they wouldn't try it.
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Comment on Graduated and moving to an apartment in a major city in the US, advice/tips? in ~life
chrysanth Link ParentI'll definitely do this first thing! I've heard some people say you should then send the video to the landlord to make expectations clear, but I figure just holding onto it and making backups...Lastly, when you get a place, the first thing you should do is meticulously document the condition of the unit with photos and videos.
I'll definitely do this first thing! I've heard some people say you should then send the video to the landlord to make expectations clear, but I figure just holding onto it and making backups should be enough? And the tip about the city subreddits is helpful. I'm sure folks in my position have posted there with questions in the past, so I'll check them out.
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Comment on Graduated and moving to an apartment in a major city in the US, advice/tips? in ~life
chrysanth (edited )Link ParentThank you!! It was really tough but I'm proud I was able to get through it. (edit: Not a rude question at all!) The 15.6k is leftover scholarship money from my full ride, which I saved by getting...First, Congrats on graduating!!!!
Thank you!! It was really tough but I'm proud I was able to get through it.
Financing
(edit: Not a rude question at all!) The 15.6k is leftover scholarship money from my full ride, which I saved by getting textbooks free online, eating cheap meals, etc. It used to be more, but I lost a lot of it due to getting stuck in a really bad housing situation - running away from one abusive environment just to end up in another because I was desperate, and so on. It was a learning experience, and I want to make sure things go right this time around. I also resolved to start budgeting out of college, and it was one of the first things I did after returning home!
I don't foresee paying $2400 in rent - I know I said major US cities, but the most expensive cities are off the table (I don't even really want to live in NYC, for example, even if I could afford to), and I'm seeing studios with good enough kitchens for 1200 in parts of Chicago, e.g., Edgewater (longer commute downtown but I'm willing to endure that).
Indeed and Glassdoor suggest legal assistant jobs pay ~50k/year, after taxes, I'm left with 39.6k. If I'm paying $1200/month in rent (14.4k/year), and if I assume $13k for all expenses over one year ($1000/month plus an extra $1000 for initial furniture/kitchen stocking), I'm left with ~12k of my salary going right into my bank account, which doesn't seem bad? and leaves plenty of room for error or emergencies. The math works out nicely here, but it does assume I can find a job paying that amount, which isn't guaranteed.
Furniture
Yeah, I need to make a Facebook account to take advantage of those buy nothing groups, but to get me started, I think I'll just need a bed, desk, and chair, and for the latter two, I don't mind buying something cheap and foldable/portable to tide me over until I can pick something up off Facebook or freecycle or an estate sale or something. Suitcases can serve as a dresser until I find something worth the money, etc. Probably better not to skimp on the bed or frame, though, so I'll do my research now.
Renting
Unfortunately, I don't have any family members who can serve as cosigners. I have some who would probably offer to do it, but their credit/finances are so bad that it would probably hurt more than help. It's good to know I can show a bank statement with the money I have, not that it's any guarantee of anything, though.
Apartment Viewing
Yeah, I am coming around to the idea of getting a short-term rental or staying at an apartment hotel in order to be able to look at places in person. It'll be expensive, but I'm persuaded by the idea that it's a worthy investment in the long-term. I do have one question, how long should I plan to stay in the short-term rental? Is a month enough time to find a place? I guess if I make looking at apartments my full-time job for that period in time, it's probably sufficient.
Questions are always popping up randomly in my head as I think of more things I hadn't yet considered, so I'll definitely reach out if I think of something new! Thank you for offering!
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Comment on Graduated and moving to an apartment in a major city in the US, advice/tips? in ~life
chrysanth Link ParentI suppose this was another thing I wasn't sure about and just assumed rather than asking anyone. Is this typical/can I expect a workplace, or most workplaces, to let me do this? I thought once...I suppose this was another thing I wasn't sure about and just assumed rather than asking anyone. Is this typical/can I expect a workplace, or most workplaces, to let me do this? I thought once they made the offer, I'd basically need to accept it and start working immediately, which is part of the reason I'm hesitant to start applying in earnest. I really did not like the idea of accepting a job offer and then needing to get myself to whatever city in two weeks or less to be present for the first day, signing some random lease because I just urgently needed a place. (I had friends who ended up having to do something like that and wanted to avoid it if possible.)
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Comment on Graduated and moving to an apartment in a major city in the US, advice/tips? in ~life
chrysanth Link ParentI hear you on the job thing, but I'm willing to take a bit of a risk here so long as I can find a place that doesn't insist on proof of employment. School was psychologically taxing, home is...I hear you on the job thing, but I'm willing to take a bit of a risk here so long as I can find a place that doesn't insist on proof of employment. School was psychologically taxing, home is psychologically taxing, and jumping right into a job (especially a job in law where there's likely to be incursions on good work-life balance/40hr+ work week) without stopping to recover from burnout is just a recipe for making mental health issues worse. Desperation and poor emotional regulation driven by unforgiving environments aren't good for my wallet either. I also went to a school with a very robust alum/career network, which I'm factoring into my risk/benefit calculation. The likelihood that I don't find any job within a year and a half, even after reducing expectations about my preferred field and such, is definitely nonzero, but IMO low enough that I'm willing to accept it.
I don't mean to convince you that you're wrong or to get you to tell me that my plan is good, though. I understand if you don't recommend it/wouldn't do it if you were me, I just mean to say that there is a little bit of thought behind my seeming comfort in doing something potentially risky.
I would recommend getting a short-long term lease (e.g in the number of months) in a furnished unit, from which you can start apartment hunting in person. AirBnB is an option. This is also an opportunity to buy furniture.
I like this idea about starting with a short-term lease in a furnished place a lot, though. AirBNB is out of the question for me, I had an absolutely horrific experience with them and would never do it again, but that idea solves one of the problems I was worried about, which was sleeping on the floor until whatever mattress I ordered comes in.
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Comment on Graduated and moving to an apartment in a major city in the US, advice/tips? in ~life
chrysanth Link ParentGotcha. It's good to adjust expectations re: that. And it makes sense not to pay in advance regardless, based on what you're saying. I'll look for places not listing job or income requirements....Worth asking, I suppose, but it probably won't happen.
Gotcha. It's good to adjust expectations re: that. And it makes sense not to pay in advance regardless, based on what you're saying. I'll look for places not listing job or income requirements.
Tangentially, I've been looking at apartments on Zillow and Apartments.com, which, as far as I can tell, are not super convenient when it comes to telling you the details of the lease, e.g., eligibility re: things like income or employment, how long the landlord is looking to lease for, what utilities are and are not included in rent, etc. Do you normally just inquire to every apartment that looks like it could be worth considering and ask all this information to whoever is managing the property? I've also had friends recommend looking for housing on Facebook, but I haven't gotten around to that yet since I'd have to make a new account there.
normal to buy and own a frame and mattress
Cool, makes sense. Yeah, I'll start doing some research now so I can hopefully buy something that is quality and will last a good long while!
maybe go for a 6mo lease to start with
Also another thing I didn't know was really an option, and honestly probably a little better than signing a 12-month lease for me as a first-time renter. Also I would guess the employment/income requirements would be a little less strict for a six-month.
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Graduated and moving to an apartment in a major city in the US, advice/tips?
I graduated in the spring and spent the last few months at home with family. I'm hoping to find an apartment/job in a major US city working as a legal assistant or paralegal. I've never rented...
I graduated in the spring and spent the last few months at home with family. I'm hoping to find an apartment/job in a major US city working as a legal assistant or paralegal.
I've never rented before, so I have questions, but due to circumstances related to the ones pushing me away from staying at home any longer, I don't have any parents or older siblings to ask for help, so I'm hoping to crowdsource wisdom here. I have specific questions, but also happy to hear any general advice for someone renting an apartment for the first time.
Some relevant context:
- Studio apartment is nonnegotiable. I don't know anyone I trust enough to be my roommate. If that weren't enough, I'm one of the only people still wearing a mask and trying not to get COVID, so it's gotta be a studio for me to be able to relax.
- I'm looking for a walkable neighborhood and good public transit in addition to affordability, so really looking at Chicago and Philly right now.
- I love to cook, but I know studios often have really lackluster kitchens. Hoping to find one with a usable amount of counterspace.
Those questions I had:
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If you offer to pay a landlord the cost of the lease in full, is it typical for the landlord to waive the requirement that you provide proof of employment, or if you asked them to waive that, would they be likely to say yes? I would really like to take some time off, and coming home was intended to be that, but toxic family means I've just been stressed the whole time, so being able to get a place without needing a job right off the bat would be a fantastic setup to make sure this new start goes well. (If I save up part-time earnings for the next 2-3 months, I'll have enough to pay a lease on a $1200 studio in full, furnish it with the necessities, and feed myself.)
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Recently I realized that when apartments are listed as unfurnished, that means no bed or mattress either. (I kind of see now why futons are a thing.) How do people usually address this issue? Do you buy a mattress and bed frame with the expectation that you'll take it with you whenever you move out to the next apartment?
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Since I don't live in the city I'll be moving to, I most likely won't be able to see the apartment in person before committing. Any particular ideas on how I could handle this or what I should be wary of? I've heard of services where you can pay someone to show up to a tour and video call you so you can follow along (https://www.gandertour.com/). $50 doesn't seem too steep, but I don't know if that specific service is trustworthy, or if there's a cheaper or simpler way to deal with this.
Those are my questions, and like I said above, any advice not 100% related to these questions is welcome too!
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Comment on What is your preferred VPN? in ~comp
chrysanth Link ParentAh I see, the unfriendliness I was referring to was the recent change made to port forwarding (or lack thereof). It sounds like you haven't found that this impacted your download speeds...Ah I see, the unfriendliness I was referring to was the recent change made to port forwarding (or lack thereof). It sounds like you haven't found that this impacted your download speeds significantly? Mullvad also used to have a page where they explained how to use qbittorrent more securely with their VPN, but they have since deleted it (though perhaps that was for legal reasons, not because they no longer support using their VPN for that purpose).
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Comment on What is your preferred VPN? in ~comp
chrysanth Link ParentI was talking about what @Grumble4681 mentioned. If you check the PrivacyGuides link, they don't just tell you Yes/No if Mullvad meets their requirements, but they actually rate Mullvad on each...I was talking about what @Grumble4681 mentioned. If you check the PrivacyGuides link, they don't just tell you Yes/No if Mullvad meets their requirements, but they actually rate Mullvad on each requirement, talking about their implementation, what it does right and what it does wrong, etc. Look under the "Port Forwarding" heading under the broader Mullvad heading on the site and they mention this change.
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Comment on What is your preferred VPN? in ~comp
chrysanth LinkI liked Mullvad when I was paying for it. 5 euros a month, reliable service, though they don't seem to be as friendly to bittorrent users as other VPN providers nowadays, so may not work for you....I liked Mullvad when I was paying for it. 5 euros a month, reliable service, though they don't seem to be as friendly to bittorrent users as other VPN providers nowadays, so may not work for you. PrivacyGuides only recommends providers that meet their stringent requirements and Mullvad is one of the few on their list.
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Comment on Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of February 21 in ~health
chrysanth Link ParentI dunno, I think it's fair to say another wave is likely enough that we ought to be preparing for it now, but you're right that no one knows exactly what that timeline will be like.I dunno, I think it's fair to say another wave is likely enough that we ought to be preparing for it now, but you're right that no one knows exactly what that timeline will be like.
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Comment on Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of February 21 in ~health
chrysanth Link ParentYLE is alright but that's a rather frustrating quote you pulled here, since Omicron definitely did not "pop out of nowhere" (at least for folks in the United States). We knew weeks in advance that...YLE is alright but that's a rather frustrating quote you pulled here, since Omicron definitely did not "pop out of nowhere" (at least for folks in the United States). We knew weeks in advance that it was coming. This just feels like it runs cover for when Harris made similar remarks ("We didn't see Omicron coming") when everyone who was paying attention saw it coming from miles away. Unfortunate that she isn't critical of that framing at all.
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Comment on Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of February 21 in ~health
chrysanth Link ParentThe requirement to mask on flights is set to expire March 18. Very possible they might not renew it. I was hoping to move out of my current place soon, might try to aim for before then while it's...The requirement to mask on flights is set to expire March 18. Very possible they might not renew it. I was hoping to move out of my current place soon, might try to aim for before then while it's safest. But yeah, I agree the new recommendations are super dangerous.
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Comment on Daily megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - February 25 in ~news
chrysanth LinkIf you're in the U.S., there's a script in the expandable section to use if you'd like to call your senators and representative and ask them to support Ukrainian refugees....If you're in the U.S., there's a script in the expandable section to use if you'd like to call your senators and representative and ask them to support Ukrainian refugees.
https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative
https://www.senate.gov/senators/senators-contact.htmScript
Dear [SENATOR/REPRESENTATIVE],My name is [YOUR NAME] and I am a resident of [TOWN/STATE].
[IF YOUR SEN/REP HAS MADE PUBLIC STATEMENTS AGAINST THE INVASION: First, I want to thank you for your public statements condemning Putin’s aggression against Ukraine.]
As your constituent, I ask that you support Ukrainians seeking refuge from Putin's illegal invasion of Ukraine. Please urge President Biden to waive visa requirements for Ukrainians traveling to the United States, grant Temporary Protected Status to Ukrainian and other regional refugees, and raise the annual refugee cap. Please introduce and support legislation to expedite the transportation and processing of refugees from Ukraine and fund the resettlement agencies that will provide them with aid upon their arrival. Finally, issue public statements of support and welcome for refugees of the conflict. Thank you.
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Comment on Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of February 7 in ~health
chrysanth LinkI just built a Corsi-Rosenthal box for use in my home. I'm hoping the box will help to lessen the chances of transmission to me if anyone in my family gets infected (and reduce my anxiety...I just built a Corsi-Rosenthal box for use in my home. I'm hoping the box will help to lessen the chances of transmission to me if anyone in my family gets infected (and reduce my anxiety regarding same). One of my family members works in high-risk conditions (grocery stocking) and we're in Florida, so none of her coworkers wear masks, take the pandemic seriously, etc. I'm mostly hunkering down and avoiding going outside where possible until the surge ends (thankfully I can afford to do so).
Thank you for the kind and thoughtful reply! Apologies it took me so long to respond, things got a bit worse here at home.
After having a chance to read everyone's replies and talk with my therapist, I figure I will need to secure the job first. I still think having time to myself away from abusive people is critical for my mental health (and it sure feels like some of the other people in this thread giving advice are discounting or ignoring that), but it's true that even with what I've saved, it's not likely to be a comfortable time apartment-hunting if I'm also unemployed. It seems like the reason why my preferred plan is too risky, though, has more to do with the market being so hostile to renters, not because my savings aren't enough. Scams everywhere, exploitative leases and landlords, and rent is super expensive and only getting higher? It's just nuts. If things weren't this bad for renters, then I would feel a lot more comfortable relying on just savings, but I think the risk of getting taken advantage of is just too high without the job. I'm sad about it, and I hope I'll get the time I want in the future, but it just doesn't seem doable in these circumstances, or at least not without sacrificing on some other axis of safety, like COVID.
All that being said, I appreciate the advice about unemployment and EBT regardless. Never know when it'll come in handy!
Thanks for the offer to reach out to your own network, I appreciate it. I'll try the subreddits first, like you mentioned, but I'll let you know if I could use your help!
I think it'll be really fun too! Sometimes it's easy to get down because my home situation and because of how bad this could all go if I'm not careful, but I know I'm being as thoughtful as I can about the important stuff and I'm optimistic that once I'm all settled in a place that's safe, I'll be able to get comfortable and enjoy the experience!
Totally! I have some ideas for how to meet people who share my interests, and that'll be my priority once I have job and apartment in hand. Lord knows I'll need to invest in a support system since mine have always been so minimal. Thanks for the encouragement to continue being COVID safe in community with others too! It means a lot, especially with how difficult it is to keep being safe sometimes in the face of so much pressure.