crialpaca's recent activity
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (April 2025) in ~health.mental
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Comment on Tildes Book Club - off topic - question re spinoff/ parallel to Storygraph in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentI would be totally fine with this scenario! Though I don't have any story graph friends to bring along to Tildes, it's just me compulsively updating my read percentages lolI would be totally fine with this scenario! Though I don't have any story graph friends to bring along to Tildes, it's just me compulsively updating my read percentages lol
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Comment on Tildes Book Club - off topic - question re spinoff/ parallel to Storygraph in ~books
crialpaca LinkI obsessively use TheStoryGraph and tbh if some of the book club stuff was there I might do better at reading the books on time, but also no promises because I haven't used TheStoryGraph's book...I obsessively use TheStoryGraph and tbh if some of the book club stuff was there I might do better at reading the books on time, but also no promises because I haven't used TheStoryGraph's book club feature before, so I'm not sure how much I would use it in reality. (That's a really long run-on sentence oops.)
I joined the TheStoryGraph book club to see how it proceeds. I don't have strong feelings about the questions being posted there, but I think it would be helpful if at least the book info and a link to the Tildes discussion was posted!
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Comment on When is pet insurance worth it? in ~life.pets
crialpaca Link ParentI made a top-level comment in this topic about it, but our household had cats who both went through what started out as treatable but ended up being life-ending illnesses due to complications....I made a top-level comment in this topic about it, but our household had cats who both went through what started out as treatable but ended up being life-ending illnesses due to complications. Each cat cost more than $7000 in end of life care. One cat had diabetes for multiple years and got human insulin without insurance, so her care costs were astronomical. If they had been insured from the start, their expenses would have been mostly covered and we honestly would have made back the premiums several times over, due to their ages and the amount of the expenses. Each cat was 7 years old when they passed. I'm pretty sure all new additions to our household will be insured from now on, if they're eligible. Baby cat (now two) is insured.
(@JCPhoenix since you were also curious)
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Comment on Tildes Book Club - March 2025 - Hyperion by Dan Simmons in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentSame with the lateness! I bought it during the sale someone alerted us to, but life absconded with my reading time (for text) the last couple of weeks. I'm at 4%.Same with the lateness! I bought it during the sale someone alerted us to, but life absconded with my reading time (for text) the last couple of weeks. I'm at 4%.
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Comment on When is pet insurance worth it? in ~life.pets
crialpaca LinkI wish my dog was insured. She had a back injury when she was 5 and has had it tweak about yearly ever since, and therefore is basically uninsurable because the cost is prohibitive now that she...I wish my dog was insured. She had a back injury when she was 5 and has had it tweak about yearly ever since, and therefore is basically uninsurable because the cost is prohibitive now that she has a pre-existing condition. Instead, I have a discount plan with her vet that includes office visits, dental care, and once-yearly x-rays. It's paid monthly.
If she was insured, we would have coverage for all the stupid things she's done to herself recently: smacking her foreleg on something, requiring pain meds while the swelling and limping went down; random diarrhea requiring diagnostics; tweaked her back again; created a hot spot on her foot... just dog things. Thankfully her office visits for these are covered by the discount plan. She may someday require more extensive care if her back issue worsens and requires MRIs or surgeries. However, she's reaching seniorhood, so those decisions are much more likely to be made relative to her chance for continued quality of life, rather than financial burdens.
Aside from her, we have had two cats who I wish had been insured. One developed diabetes and had it for 3-4 years before passing away due to complications with a bladder infection and her diabetes. Care costs were wild. Her littermate passed away a few months later after a sudden onset bone marrow disease (we and the vet think; it happened so fast it was hard to pin down other than an issue with his blood cells). Both were very expensive and we weren't able to save either, despite spending over $10k on their care.
Our newest addition (cat) has been insured by Lemonade (bundled with my renters insurance) since he was 8 months old - when we got him. He also has a discount plan at the vet. After the stuff we've been through, it gives me peace of mind that he is insured, even if we never use it. It covers accidents and illnesses with a $250 deductible and pays 80% up to an annual limit of $50k. There's some fine print, like "if he has a history of eating the same thing multiple times, that's really on you," (in more formal terms) but he hasn't ever been to the vet for anything other than a checkup, so he should be covered for just about anything dire, including cancer. I would much rather have him be insured and have that for financial backup than deal with the stress of a situation like we did with our cats again. We would still probably get a credit plan to pay for care in the short term, but being able to file a claim and get some of the treatment costs back would have dulled the financial sting. If you're considering it and it's reasonably affordable, I think it's worth it. I'll probably be insuring all my pets from now on in case we end up at the emergency vet for any reason.
(Also sorry if this post seems melodramatic... this stuff has been dramatic to live through! )
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca LinkI've been reading real estate paperwork... "broke" my 200+ day reading streak the other day because I spent my bus rides reading CCRs and home inspection reports, and spent my other 5 free hours...I've been reading real estate paperwork... "broke" my 200+ day reading streak the other day because I spent my bus rides reading CCRs and home inspection reports, and spent my other 5 free hours in the day on the phone. (Trying to buy a house, and it has been a harrowing experience because we started at step 3 (finding a house) rather than step 1 (finding a lender).)
I still have a bunch of audiobooks queued up. Currently reading Crown of Midnight. Then up next is Rebel Witch, then Heavenly Tyrant, then Language of Dragons... all the fantasy books. I'm trying to physically read Funny Story by Emily Henry for book club tomorrow but idk, I'm not sure I'll make it. And lastly, I've started Hyperion for tildes book club, but I'm not sure how far I'll get in that either while this house stuff is going on.
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Comment on What are some good stories told from non-human perspectives? in ~books
crialpaca LinkChildren's books I'm aware of are the Redwall series by Brian Jaques and the Warriors series (of which I think there are now many) by Erin Hunter.Children's books I'm aware of are the Redwall series by Brian Jaques and the Warriors series (of which I think there are now many) by Erin Hunter.
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Comment on Rodent for dinner? US residents encouraged to eat invasive nutria. in ~enviro
crialpaca LinkNutria have been threatening watersheds for YEARS. I wrote a paper about it like five years ago. The Southern US has had issues with them for a long time. I'm surprised it took this long for them...Nutria have been threatening watersheds for YEARS. I wrote a paper about it like five years ago. The Southern US has had issues with them for a long time. I'm surprised it took this long for them to become a publicized issue in California.
There have been dog treats made from nutria meat on the market for some time. I haven't purchased any myself, but I imagine that would be one way to support making an industry of reducing their population...
Edit: maybe I'll grab my paper tomorrow and post it if I can find it...
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Comment on How do you feel about your PTO? in ~life
crialpaca (edited )LinkI have split vacation and sick days that both accrue at a rate of 8 hours per month. We also get two personal holidays and most federal holidays off, paid (US, municipal employee). Once you...I have split vacation and sick days that both accrue at a rate of 8 hours per month. We also get two personal holidays and most federal holidays off, paid (US, municipal employee). Once you complete 4 years of service, vacation accrual goes up a fraction so you get 15 days total per year, and it increases every few anniversaries until you hit a point where realistically it accrues faster than you can use it (I have a coworker who takes every other Friday off to use it instead of losing it, since you can only roll over so much to the new year).
I think this is fine / great as a public sector employee. 12 days of vacation is decent for one longer trip and a few little ones. I'm definitely looking forward to more eventually. The sick time is adequate and I think the amount of hours you can bank is equivalent to where if you hit that point, you'd be eligible to file for their short term disability benefit. So ideally if you can build a big enough bank, there would be no gap in pay if something happens. Doctor note is required after 3 days of absence not covered by FMLA. After a small fight, they recognized my migraines were FMLA- eligible (no one likes long-term conditions) so while I usually use my sick days for those and accruing a decent amount of sick leave is tough, at least they can't fire me over attendance.
My last job was for a law firm where I was one of two full time employees. We had the state minimum mandated sick pay (6 days per year ish), no holidays, and I think ten days of vacation accrual per year. I ended up taking a lot of unpaid time off. I don't think I'll be going back to the private sector if I have anything to say about it.
Edit: Current job also has paid bereavement leave for loss of immediate family and grandparents/great grandparents. I think 40 hours per occurrence. This is extremely valuable to me for reasons I won't get into here but I'm very grateful for this policy. It definitely strikes me as the city being true to its values and treating its employees like fellow humans.
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Comment on What are your personal reading "rules?" in ~books
crialpaca LinkI am a rather go-with-the-flow kind of reader, and I've been very influenced by social media in choosing my reads. I have a huge TBR tag on my library app that i treat like a mini curated library...I am a rather go-with-the-flow kind of reader, and I've been very influenced by social media in choosing my reads. I have a huge TBR tag on my library app that i treat like a mini curated library of things I'll probably like, gathered from social media and library suggestions. Impulse reads are being tempered recently by being in 5 book clubs... two online with the library, one at work, one with discord friends, and Tildes book club! So I expect my reading this year to be more structured. The book clubs do have me exploring some genres I don't generally select on my own.
I read multiple books at a time, but my "cheat code" for this is multiple formats. I listen to audiobooks during work. If I have longer books i want to read, i try to get those on audiobook of i can. I have a gigantic selection of Kindle books that I picked up for free or cheap, which probably needs to be trimmed... but I take my Kindle on the bus. I've been trying to read more physical books because I gather that that can be easier on a library's budget. I'm also trying to take my eyes into consideration - listening to audiobooks and reading large print has been making a big difference to me in general eye comfort. I spend at least 10 hours on screens for work each day, and the eye discomfort is becoming more pronounced. So I've been making an effort to not read stuff on my phone, and I'm bringing my Kindle places because the e-ink display feels like it helps.
I use TheStoryGraph and rigorously track my reading. I'm probably going to buy a Plus membership once I hit the year mark and can start to compare reading trends over months and years. I just find it fun. Plus, I like keeping track of the pages and minutes I've read. It makes me feel productive. (I grew up being told that reading is something that only lazy people have time for. Trying to break that internalized stigma.) Their feature where you can have different graphics generated for each month of reading is really neat; I love having a visual representation of my progress. I track my reading because my volume is really high right now - I've read 43 books so far this year and am currently reading 5. I listen to audiobooks at 1.5x - 3x speed.
I tend to DNF books where I find that I struggle to suspend my disbelief, or I scoff at the main characters enough that I can't deal with it anymore.
My goal for this year is to finish some of the series I've started (I think there are roughly 25 I'm working on). I grew up generally not having immediate access to the next book in a series, so I tend to spread series out, rather than binge-reading. I'm hoping to let my holds dwindle and start going through the many books I own but haven't read, to read them and decide if I want to keep them.
The books I have been buying lately have been bought for the purposes of future rereads or sharing with my partner, rather than purchasing books unread, unless the book I'm buying is the next one in a series I am already enjoying.
I've bought some Kindle accessories and can read while I exercise with the help of a stand and a page-turning remote. I'm hoping to get a similar set up to read in bed once my second stand thing arrives. Trying to be kind to my neck.
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentI saw that series in passing when I was poking through my Remnant Population loan info! I'll add it to the list!I saw that series in passing when I was poking through my Remnant Population loan info! I'll add it to the list!
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca LinkI finished Two Twisted Crowns by Rachel Gillig and The Lion Women of Tehran. I found both to be good, but they upset me in different ways (I came to the conclusion that the big twist at the end of...I finished Two Twisted Crowns by Rachel Gillig and The Lion Women of Tehran. I found both to be good, but they upset me in different ways (I came to the conclusion that the big twist at the end of One Dark Window and how it carried through into Two Twisted Crowns was not courageous enough; Lion Women upset me in a heartwrenching way but it was worth it.)
I also finished Remnant Population by Elizabeth Moon and Caraval by Stephanie Garber. Remnant Population was excellent and I highly recommend it - it gave me the warm fuzzies. Kudos to the people who have been recommending it on Tildes. Caraval, on the other hand, was meh. A review I read said that they "felt like it was like being tumble-dried." Yep.
I'm currently reading The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon, and listening to The Deep Sky by Yume Kitasei (with partner) and This is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel. Priory is slow but I'm at 30% and I've been getting inklings that are convincing me to keep reading. Deep Sky is highly entertaining and I'm reading it for a science fiction library book club. This is How It Always Is... 44%. If I had a choice, I would not put this down. This is for "social justice" library book club and I have a feeling it will fit the theme. It's about a child who doesn't conform to gender norms and how the parents parent said child. I love this family.
Up next, I have like 5 physical books checked out I am going to be panic-reading in order of most popular and what I can renew for longest XD Babylonia, Funny Story, Glow of the Everflame, The Empress, and City of Ember. Funny Story is large print and I checked it out to see if I want to continue to use large print for my reading experience going forward. For audio, I have The Ornithologist's Field Guide to Love and The House by the Cerulean Sea (I'm aware of the controversy surrounding this book; my partner and I want to listen to it, but we're going to be approaching it with a critical lens. We also checked it out from the library so... less support for the author on this one.)
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentI could not stand The Lost Apothecary. It felt very "you're not a woman if you don't have babies" to me, which gave me the complete ick. I did not need that shoved down my throat! I already get it...I could not stand The Lost Apothecary. It felt very "you're not a woman if you don't have babies" to me, which gave me the complete ick. I did not need that shoved down my throat! I already get it enough IRL.
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Comment on Tildes Book Club - February 2025 - Born a Crime by Trevor Noah in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentI was surprised by the mentions of secret police. It makes sense - a society like this would have that kind of infrastructure to keep its citizens in line. Based on the way Noah talked about them...I was surprised by the mentions of secret police. It makes sense - a society like this would have that kind of infrastructure to keep its citizens in line. Based on the way Noah talked about them and his overall lack of descriptions of them, though, I got the sense that his mom and her family did a really good job insulating him from those dangers.
Incidentally, I'm now reading The Lion Women of Tehran by Marjan Kamali, which includes mention of the king's secret police. I feel like reading Born a Crime before reading this book has helped me better and more thoroughly understand just how secret police forces infiltrate a society and work against those advocating for change. Secret police as a concept are something I've been aware of, but I've never thought about or understood the mechanics of citizens working against one another in an "underground" type of fashion until these two books. Now that I have more of a frame of reference, well... I'm not happy about it, but I'll probably understand WWII better the next time I read about it...
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Comment on Tildes Book Club - February 2025 - Born a Crime by Trevor Noah in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentNoah's mom pushed a lot of boundaries, and it seemed to me like, whether she was aware of it or not, she was doing important work. She advocated for her personal freedom and hopefully inspired...Noah's mom pushed a lot of boundaries, and it seemed to me like, whether she was aware of it or not, she was doing important work. She advocated for her personal freedom and hopefully inspired others to small acts of bravery of their own, even if they couldn't do the same as her. Obviously that entailed a lot of risk, and while she did suffer some consequences, given the climate of race relations at the time, I'm surprised that the consequences she faced were as minimal as they sounded. Or, maybe Noah inadvertently minimized them, often referring to them in passing, and they had a larger affect on her life overall than he might know. I'm sure scraping together fines, like he discussed, set her back more than he could know at age four or five.
Noah's mother being a survivor of domestic abuse in addition to going through apartheid made me very sympathetic toward her by the end of the story. Domestic abuse, especially at the level it sounds like she experienced, is such an insidious and horrific thing to deal with on an everyday basis. I hope her life now is healthy and fulfilling.
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Comment on Tildes Book Club - February 2025 - Born a Crime by Trevor Noah in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentI would say I knew absolutely nothing about South Africa and apartheid before reading this book. I knew that apartheid had happened in South Africa, but I didn't know what that meant or what it...I would say I knew absolutely nothing about South Africa and apartheid before reading this book. I knew that apartheid had happened in South Africa, but I didn't know what that meant or what it looked like. When Noah introduced the concept of being similar to if slavery, segregation, and forced relocation all happened concurrently, and then described the affects, that felt like a punch to the gut (as an American who was taught about all those things in a liberal public school system). I was literally reading this with my hand over my mouth in shock at the kitchen table, reading passages of it out loud to my partner while he shook his head. While overall, I think I'm still missing a lot of context and important history about apartheid, this painted some important broad strokes and I would now at least have some information to work with if I decided to look into it on my own.
I think Noah definitely approached these topics in a way that should inspire horror in most readers - this is something we don't want to see come back. (It was eerie to read about Noah's experiences under apartheid and its unravelling with what I've learned about generational poverty, lack of services, voter suppression/disenfranchisement, etc. as they occur here in the States. Because they still occur here, and there are places where it's getting worse.) Hopefully this book will make readers more aware of how they or their neighbors might experience inequality in society, because it's not always blatant. And just because we have laws on the books about not discriminating... well, the writing is on the wall (at least in the USA) over the last couple of months for the direction that's going.
(One of the reasons it has taken me a while to reply to this thread has been mental exhaustion from the sheer volume of politics on blast lately. It's hard to separate the current hostile political climate, which includes hostility toward DEI, from this reading about race relations. It's upsetting to feel like we're careening backwards.)
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Comment on Tildes Book Club - February 2025 - Born a Crime by Trevor Noah in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentIt wasn't until my recent (last 8 months) foray into reading that I've begun reading memoirs and autobiographical works. I still haven't read very many - I've read both of Michelle Obama's major...It wasn't until my recent (last 8 months) foray into reading that I've begun reading memoirs and autobiographical works. I still haven't read very many - I've read both of Michelle Obama's major ones and also If You Can't Take the Heat by Geraldine DeRuiter. I have a few others planned. I actually DNF'd I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy because I found it to be too triggering and it agitated me.
I think this book was the right amount of humor, historical context, and memory. One thing I found strikingly absent was any reflection on Noah's more recent past - like how he went from bootleg CDs to making it big, and how he might apply his values growing up to how he operates now. Instead, we more or less ended the book with the incident between his mom and stepdad (unless my memory just overwrote something). While that seems like a reasonable place to stop (what I hope was the end of the violence he experienced growing up), it still kind of felt like there could have been more resolution and maybe a little more recent history after the incident. But overall, I enjoyed this read and I appreciated him sharing his history and giving readers the opportunity to learn about South Africa through him.
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentThat would track. It wasn't too long ago that I saw the recommendation. Unfortunately I don't remember the topic of the thread and I'm not finding it with the search function.That would track. It wasn't too long ago that I saw the recommendation. Unfortunately I don't remember the topic of the thread and I'm not finding it with the search function.
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentI added it to my list because I saw that someone on Tildes recommended it in another thread! I'm not sure who it was - maybe you? I'm looking forward to it!I added it to my list because I saw that someone on Tildes recommended it in another thread! I'm not sure who it was - maybe you? I'm looking forward to it!
I'm either in denial about my emotions or they're currently balancing each other. Partner and I are having a relatively smooth first home purchase. We were approved for a ten day close by our lender and we've kept on being extremely responsive. On the other side of "omg I'm gonna be a homeowner" excitement is anxiety about the next 9 days and what they might bring. And all the stuff we're going to do in the coming three months to a year. It's two and a half hours since bedtime and neither my partner nor I can sleep.
Also, my (step)grandma passed away the day we found the house. The grief is not processing, but I'm sure it's there and probably helped manifest yesterday's migraine. It's probably going to show up at a really bad time and it's probably one of the several reasons I can't sleep or bring myself to read very much right now. She was the first person to take me to a bookstore. I wish we had had more time to talk about reading, among other things, because I've just returned to it as an adult. My childhood memories from visiting with her are some of my best memories. She hadn't been able to speak without breathing issues for sometime, which unfortunately means that I really didn't get to connect with her very much recently (she also liked Trump etc., which made me nervous to get on a call with her or into a chat). This is my third relative to pass in the space of a year.
I have one more grandparent left (of 6 total). I'm trying to make my time with her count.
Anyway, I'm so overrun with all of this that things just aren't processing the way I expect them to. I'll probably burst into tears soon.