crialpaca's recent activity
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Comment on Any male victims from female abuse? in ~life.men
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Comment on Any male victims from female abuse? in ~life.men
crialpaca LinkMy ex was verbally and emotionally abused by his ex for years. He ended up getting back together with her after we broke up. I really hope she has changed. I know this isn't really the point of...My ex was verbally and emotionally abused by his ex for years. He ended up getting back together with her after we broke up. I really hope she has changed.
I know this isn't really the point of this discussion, but I'm a female victim of female abuse. Due to my upbringing (with a homophobic/transphobic parent), I have a lot of shame about it and it makes my life a living hell sometimes. My parents are still friendly to my abuser and go out of their way to tell me about their interactions with her/her family because they don't take my aversion to them seriously and find my squirming entertaining. I have only barely touched the topic in previous therapy and shared a couple things with my husband, but it's like the one thing in my life that I don't talk about and could not be pried out of me.
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Comment on Tildes Book Club - How are you progressing on The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane by Lisa See? in ~books
crialpaca LinkI finished it a couple of days ago. It was quite a journey and I'm curious about whether the market conditions with pu'er actually happened.I finished it a couple of days ago. It was quite a journey and I'm curious about whether the market conditions with pu'er actually happened.
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Comment on Tildes Gardening Group: Week 24/3/26 in ~hobbies
crialpaca LinkYes hi hello!! I am very excited for these threads. Apparently gardening is my big undertaking this year. We are starting ambitious with arugula, broccoli, kale, cucumber, zucchini, peas, beans, 3...Yes hi hello!! I am very excited for these threads. Apparently gardening is my big undertaking this year.
We are starting ambitious with arugula, broccoli, kale, cucumber, zucchini, peas, beans, 3 types of tomatoes, spinach, parsley, carrots, radishes, strawberries, potatoes, basil, oregano, chives, chamomile... all of these are in either raised beds or containers. We're trying to figure out what grows best in our north-facing backyard. We're also trying to get some plants into our bare beds, mostly foliage and flowers, since we have a dog who spends a lot of time in the backyard. We picked some for the sunny areas and some that will be a shade garden. We got two dwarf spruces with globe growing patterns, which I think are totally adorable. We also have an espalier apple tree, which we won't be allowing a harvest from this year, but we're excited for next year!
Husband started me on gardening by saying out loud that he wanted an apple tree. I had a garden plan and spreadsheet together 36 hours later. He is a major part of the muscle and has been working hard to help us realize our dream of... not bare dirt. The cat supervises from the screen door.
We moved into our house in May last year. We haven't grown anything before! We are focusing on cleaning up some of the unnoticed hazards left behind by the previous owners, such as a couple of rotting whiskey barrels, a moss garden that was taking over everything, and a dogwood whose root crown was planted several inches below the surface... I pruned a cherry tree and two Japanese maple trees pretty hard. We're hoping to learn from our failures this year so we can focus on refining for summer and autumn seasons and plan for next year.
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Comment on Are you a morning person or a night owl? in ~talk
crialpaca LinkI am most definitely a morning person. I start work at 6:30, which means I'm usually out of the house by 5:15. I've more or less been a morning person since around age 20, when my body decided to...I am most definitely a morning person. I start work at 6:30, which means I'm usually out of the house by 5:15. I've more or less been a morning person since around age 20, when my body decided to begin waking up at 7 am. Before that, I was totally a night owl, routinely staying up til 2 am but sometimes as late as 4 am.
Now that I'm living as a morning person, I much prefer morning person life. It's nice to have the option to watch the sunrise and hear the dawn chorus. I like going places early on the weekend when traffic is light. And now that I'm older, I feel less like I'm missing out on stuff by going to bed early, because a lot of my peers go to bed early, too.
My sleep is a lot more easily interrupted by light occurring at night time, though. This factor is kind of new for me, as up until turning 30 I could basically fall asleep anywhere, whatever the circumstances. Now I need dark and quiet.
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Comment on Tildes Book Club - How is it going with The Metamorphosis? in ~books
crialpaca LinkI've read it before (in college) so I will probably lurk when it comes to the discussion this time.I've read it before (in college) so I will probably lurk when it comes to the discussion this time.
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Comment on Why do I almost never catch colds anymore? in ~health
crialpaca LinkI also get fewer illnesses than before covid. In fact, I think I've only been sick 3 times - recently with a fairly major something (10 days of 102F fever), once with something my husband brought...I also get fewer illnesses than before covid. In fact, I think I've only been sick 3 times - recently with a fairly major something (10 days of 102F fever), once with something my husband brought home after being on a work trip, and once with covid (earliest, August 2020, extremely mild and never tested positive). My husband has gotten sicker much more often than me. I rarely catch what he has. May or may not be correlated, but he gets vaccinated less (he forgets to make an appointment). I'm in public much more often, but also more isolated when I'm in public (big open office, very socially distanced except for one coworker). So I don't know. Maybe people who are sick are staying home and/or masking more in my environs, and it makes a difference?
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Comment on Would anyone be interested in an online gardening club? in ~hobbies
crialpaca LinkHi me yes!!! We just set up our raised bed last weekend and put in some cold-hardy veggies. The rest of the spring season veggies are hardening off. We've got bulbs in the garage to throw in the...Hi me yes!!! We just set up our raised bed last weekend and put in some cold-hardy veggies. The rest of the spring season veggies are hardening off. We've got bulbs in the garage to throw in the ground after the last frost date. We got an espaliered apple tree to mostly keep an eye on this year (not supposed to let it fruit the first year I guess). I would love to share progress and keep up with fellow plant enjoyers.
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Comment on How's everyone doing? in ~talk
crialpaca Link ParentI'm excited for peas, beans, radishes and carrots, mostly. Easily snackable! But we're growing greens and tomatoes, too, and some herbs. And cucumber and zucchini. The nails actually seem to be...I'm excited for peas, beans, radishes and carrots, mostly. Easily snackable! But we're growing greens and tomatoes, too, and some herbs. And cucumber and zucchini.
The nails actually seem to be holding up okay with regular (light leather) gardening gloves. They have some utility, too, with sewing seeds and some delicate work separating seedlings. Much to my amazement, they trap WAY less dirt than short nails. I just have to be careful working around a preexisting, not-gardening-related break, which I have to keep gluing together. I moved 500 pounds of pavers for the base to our raised bed with no problems!
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Comment on How's everyone doing? in ~talk
crialpaca LinkI've been pretty out of touch recently, and it's probably somewhat good for me. We're getting a vegetable garden started and working on planning out the landscape for our backyard (which is bare...I've been pretty out of touch recently, and it's probably somewhat good for me. We're getting a vegetable garden started and working on planning out the landscape for our backyard (which is bare dirt aside from a section of artificial turf and a weird but cute moss fairy garden area by the previous owners). This process, and general housekeeping, and my other hobby of doing my nails, are keeping me busy. The nail hobby is going pretty well too.
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Comment on What would you do with a video game style inventory? in ~talk
crialpaca LinkHah. My nail polish collection would explode.Hah. My nail polish collection would explode.
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Comment on How far back in time can you understand English? in ~humanities.languages
crialpaca LinkInterestingly, I could get 1300 better than 1400, but it may just be down to recognizing more words in the specific contexts. This was fun. English is ever-evolving.Interestingly, I could get 1300 better than 1400, but it may just be down to recognizing more words in the specific contexts. This was fun. English is ever-evolving.
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Comment on What's an obscure book/series that you've read that you would like to recommend? in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentIt's been a LONG time since I read it, but The Free Lunch by Spider Robinson was the first sci fi adjacent book that I read. I still have my battered thrift store copy and plan to read it again....It's been a LONG time since I read it, but The Free Lunch by Spider Robinson was the first sci fi adjacent book that I read. I still have my battered thrift store copy and plan to read it again. I'll add this to my list too!
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Comment on What are your food aversions? in ~food
crialpaca LinkShellfish, mushrooms, eggs, some melted cheese and melted butter situations, peanut butter, some tofu textures...Shellfish, mushrooms, eggs, some melted cheese and melted butter situations, peanut butter, some tofu textures...
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Comment on Tildes Book Club - February 2026 - The Truth by Terry Pratchett - Have you started? in ~books
crialpaca LinkI believe I acquired the ebook of this. I'll try to get to it!I believe I acquired the ebook of this. I'll try to get to it!
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentI just finished The Scald-Crow. Five stars. Left a review on every platform I could and now I have a reading hangover. Dang.I just finished The Scald-Crow. Five stars. Left a review on every platform I could and now I have a reading hangover. Dang.
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca LinkCurrently reading: The Scald-Crow by Grace Daly. Y'all. I needed this book. I feel so seen. "This self-deprecating horror novel shot through with gallows humor explores medical trauma through...Currently reading: The Scald-Crow by Grace Daly. Y'all. I needed this book. I feel so seen. "This self-deprecating horror novel shot through with gallows humor explores medical trauma through Irish folklore, asking 'Can a sick woman ever be trusted?'" I only started reading horror in the last year or so and I'm enjoying this greatly.
Also reading The Seven Rings by Nora Roberts. Conclusion to a trilogy about a haunted/cursed mansion and the gal who inherits it. I've joked before that her books are half cookbook. This continues to be true. It's nice to see characters take joy in ordinary tasks that I hate lol.It's been a while since I posted so I won't post all my "recently finished" stuff, but the highlight was One Good Knight by Mercedes Lackey (5 stars).
Edit: accidentally hit post. Up next is Swordheart by T Kingfisher and I'm not sure what else.
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Comment on Google removes some of its AI summaries after users’ health put at risk in ~tech
crialpaca Link ParentI've had it contradict itself in the same sentence, which is super fun.I've had it contradict itself in the same sentence, which is super fun.
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Comment on Google removes some of its AI summaries after users’ health put at risk in ~tech
crialpaca LinkI hope I didn't trust the AI overview but I have literally searched something along these lines (liver levels) in the last six months. Ugh. I hate what Google is doing to its own product.I hope I didn't trust the AI overview but I have literally searched something along these lines (liver levels) in the last six months. Ugh. I hate what Google is doing to its own product.
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Comment on What's something you're "in too deep" on? in ~talk
crialpaca Link ParentThey're not alone! The polish world is a lot bigger than I thought it was when I started this. My first (and only intended) Holo Taco has been circling my house for three days with the postal...They're not alone! The polish world is a lot bigger than I thought it was when I started this. My first (and only intended) Holo Taco has been circling my house for three days with the postal service, ha!
The tough thing with collecting is that it's hard to stop or slow down when it's a consumable good and there are a lot of options. I found a brand yesterday that is a much cheaper alternative to the recent stuff I've been buying, so I'm going to try a few of theirs out and see if it scratches the itch. I don't love feeling frantic about getting stuff before it's gone.
For clarity - my relationship with my abuser actually wasn't even a romantic one, but a "friendship" I felt I didn't have the power to leave, and the situation was exacerbated by little physical distance (and I was a minor at the time, so I didn't have the power to remove myself from the situation). This kind of adds to the shame factor for me, because my family just doesn't even make an effort to understand and seems to think we had a one-sided (my side) falling out and seem to find weird joy in bringing her up to me. At this point I hang up on them if they insist on telling me about her. They can find someone else to entertain their gossip.
I'm sure there are a lot more weird stories out there like mine than we hear about. Thank you for bringing up space to talk about it.