crialpaca's recent activity
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Comment on What's something you're "in too deep" on? in ~talk
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Comment on What's something you're "in too deep" on? in ~talk
crialpaca Link ParentIt wasn't fully intentional, but it seemed like a fitting metaphor to me! I can't say I've had that feeling when it comes to nail polish, as I've had it applied to my nails every once in a while...It wasn't fully intentional, but it seemed like a fitting metaphor to me!
I can't say I've had that feeling when it comes to nail polish, as I've had it applied to my nails every once in a while for as long as I can remember. My mom and I would do our nails, or maybe she would just do mine... I remember these mini polish bottles kicking around forever, but I think she probably had some for herself, as well. I don't actually remember ever doing that or wearing polish, though. It's probably just normalized for me, as a she/her/AFAB person. However, I shaped my nails for the first time yesterday, and that is definitely giving me the "whose hands are those" feeling. The different nail shape makes my fingers look different, as well. I'm hoping I'll get familiar enough with it that it goes away, or change them up enough that my brain is less attached to what my nails "should" look like and becomes more adaptable to what it sees.
I hope you and your daughter enjoy nail time! In my experience, it takes some time and energy and concentration, which means you are living in the present for those moments with her :)
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Comment on What's something you're "in too deep" on? in ~talk
crialpaca LinkHi, it's me, the nail polish person. I started this journey in August or September, and now have spreadsheets for my inventory and polishes worn. The spreadsheets interact with each other to help...Hi, it's me, the nail polish person. I started this journey in August or September, and now have spreadsheets for my inventory and polishes worn. The spreadsheets interact with each other to help me keep track of everything. I have barely dipped a toe into the nail polish world, and I already feel like I'm heading in the "in too deep" direction. I spent a respectable amount of money on getting into the hobby, as many do when first getting into something, getting tools and supplies, etc. I'm cutting down on buying stuff now, but this is so fun. It's absolutely bewildering to my parents. Mr. Alpaca is a good sport and occasionally assists with picking colors. The cat has also been known to help pick colors.
Note: this is not "gel polish." We're talking regular nail lacquer. Untrained folks doing gel manicures at home are likely to make themselves allergic to the ingredients, which is a big nope to me.
It started with picking out a nail polish for my wedding with the help of my coworkers - and then I found out how much nail polish they own and what variety exists out there. They have ways of keeping organized (swatch sticks and filing cabinets and display shelves, oh my). They have favorite brands. They have magnetic polish, thermal polish, polish with glitter and iridescent flakes and shimmer so bright it glows. I've adopted some of their habits (swatch sticks) and begun forming some of my own.
Now, while my collection is comparatively small (it's not unusual for people to have 300 polishes), I have gotten pretty ensconced in the knowledge of the nail polish world. I've joined a nail polish discord, and I've looked into making my own polish. I'm figuring out what I like and don't like, and I'm coming up with new ways to use my polish. For example, I just figured out a way to do the "fridge magnet look" tonight, without making my nail polish into decals to stick to my nails, which is usually how it's done. This effect was done directly on my nail with the help of a fridge magnet and a laptop stand. I'm doing a lot of trial and error. Error: allowing the furnace vents to blow in your general direction while painting your nails.
I own about 40 polishes, 8 of which are on their way to me. My original goal was to have a jewel tone of each shade and just live on those 10 or so polishes. I started with ordering most of a drugstore collection that I liked that came in a variety of colors and finishes. But then I discovered pharmacy coupons would let me get polish for free. I have now given these up because I ran out of polish I wanted from there. Then, I discovered some boutique brands and indie brands. This is where I'm at now - trying not to buy too many things. Where can I go from here? Supporting indie brands that do charity polishes, maybe making my own polish. Discovering what types and colors of polish I like, vs. what I will actually wear. I just started shaping my nails, which is a whole separate aspect of this. My goal for the moment is to work my way through my drugstore polish (which are surprisingly delicate flowers when it comes to the environment in which I apply them) and my thermal polish (which stop functioning 1-2 years after first use). Honestly, at this point, I think polish is around to stay. My spreadsheet says I already have at least five years' worth of polish, which is probably an underestimation. I'm looking forward to emptying my first bottle sometime in the next year, lol.
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Comment on Want to get in the gym? Here are some tips from a beginner.* in ~health
crialpaca Link ParentThank you for sharing this. I've intended to look for YouTubers for a long time but I tend to get overwhelmed by choice. These videos seem great (probably going to have to write down some...Thank you for sharing this. I've intended to look for YouTubers for a long time but I tend to get overwhelmed by choice. These videos seem great (probably going to have to write down some sequences to actually follow them, though - he's so fast!).
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Comment on Experiences with foster system and support for removed relatives in ~life
crialpaca LinkThank you all for the thoughtful and kind replies! Just a small update (pinging @fnulare), I reached out to the person who sent the letter and expressed my concerns about the child being without...Thank you all for the thoughtful and kind replies! Just a small update (pinging @fnulare), I reached out to the person who sent the letter and expressed my concerns about the child being without family on Christmas/holidays, in addition to letting them know I had filled out their form. They told me they would email the caseworker and request that the caseworker reach out to me asap, but that the caseworker has 10 business days to process those forms (note: that puts us into January). This conversation happened yesterday and I haven't heard back.
On the rumor mill end of things... we now have information from extended family that the removal may have actually stemmed from a behavioral issue of the child's and the removal may have been for their safety and the safety of others. So. Not using this as a working assumption AT ALL but, we will be proceeding with caution, if we hear back. When Mr. Alpaca and I talked about this, children with legitimate behavior issues were one of the things we did not consider ourselves ready for right out of the gate. However, we will not assume the child actually has them until we're told such by officials, and we'll still do what we can if our involvement is desired. And I'm still attending the foster parent info session in January regardless :) we had another flurry of weird news yesterday (interesting how the universe works!) that means taking fosters may be much more comfortable for us much sooner than expected, but we're not counting those chickens until they hatch, either.
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Comment on Experiences with foster system and support for removed relatives in ~life
crialpaca Link ParentThank you! I signed up for the info sessions that the child services department hosts. Unfortunately, they're only once a month, but I'll be trying to find more information in the meantime....Thank you! I signed up for the info sessions that the child services department hosts. Unfortunately, they're only once a month, but I'll be trying to find more information in the meantime. Whether something comes out of this situation or not, it will be good for me to have info about where to start in the future, since fostering or adopting were things we have discussed as a possibility, anyway.
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Comment on Experiences with foster system and support for removed relatives in ~life
crialpaca Link ParentThank you for the response, and I'm sorry you and your family and your placed child are going through a similar situation. I hope it smoothes out a bit more with time. It wouldn't be proper foster...Thank you for the response, and I'm sorry you and your family and your placed child are going through a similar situation. I hope it smoothes out a bit more with time. It wouldn't be proper foster care for us either, as far as I know, but would be somewhat regulated like foster care (they do a home check for safety hazards?). We would have the option of getting licensed which would open up some financial aid, I guess.
This child is older, well into school age but not a young adult. They should be able to communicate, but I'm not sure how effective that communication will be. (I think with a lot of kids, myself included at that age, sometimes communication becomes more indirect or misunderstood as they get older and into being a teenager, unless they're great at being blunt or getting their feelings across.) However, the child has been through STUFF before (big parental battle when they were small) and I have no idea how that would have affected them long term. I haven't seen them in half their life. They might know who I am or recognize me but not remember me, but that would be an extremely small possibility. They'll probably think, "wait, who's this rando?" If I actually did get involved. So this whole thing is pretty much a big "I guess we'll see" for the moment.
I did, however, realize this morning that we are now less than two weeks from Christmas, which our extended family on the whole has historically celebrated. So depending on what's going on, I may feel obligated to get involved sooner than I normally would. If the child's family has been following our traditions, the child should NOT be in a group home or something on Christmas.
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Comment on Experiences with foster system and support for removed relatives in ~life
crialpaca Link ParentThank you! Yeah, the part we have concerns about are the parts we may not be able to prepare for... (Does child have issues they won't disclose to us?) There are also definitely some normal parts...Thank you! Yeah, the part we have concerns about are the parts we may not be able to prepare for... (Does child have issues they won't disclose to us?) There are also definitely some normal parts of parenting that we would likely not be prepared to deal with until they happen, as this is the first time we've considered parenting and we would be thrust into the middle of it lol. (What if they have issues at school? What if they have a particular communication style that we don't get? And like infinitely more hypotheticals.)
My feeling has always been that if I get to a place where I can support a child who needs support, I'd probably be happy to help. It's a little earlier than I foresaw feeling that way, as we JUST got settled, but that also might be fine. I guess we'll find out. Maybe this situation will lend itself to having us considering fostering more readily than we had before.
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Experiences with foster system and support for removed relatives
Hi Tilderinos! First, apologies for the ramble. I'm based in the US. I got a letter from our state's child services department telling me that one of my relatives who is a minor has been removed...
Hi Tilderinos!
First, apologies for the ramble. I'm based in the US. I got a letter from our state's child services department telling me that one of my relatives who is a minor has been removed from the custody of their parents. The letter asked me to complete a form to indicate the level of involvement I'm interested in having with said child's placement and/or support.
We don't know what the child's situation is. I'm the furthest-degree relative they search for - hopefully someone closer will step forward, but unfortunately, based on what I know of our part of the family, other relatives may not be in the best situation to take on a child. I'm hoping that this would be a temporary situation and that the ultimate goal is for the child to be reunited with their parent(s), but we have no information at all right now other than "child was removed and we're looking for support from relatives."
I'm going to call the contact info on the letter tomorrow, as we received it after business hours today. We've discussed our comfort levels with caring for a child and what type of situation we could say yes to and what we would have to say no to. We are very fortunate to be in a stable situation (in control of our own housing, dual incomes, qualified for leave programs, etc.). Our point of view currently is that this child is a child in need of support, and we are willing to provide what we can as long as it's not overtly detrimental to us or to them. I already filled out the form the best I could in a manner that corresponds with our comfort level, which is approximately that placement with us would be a possibility but not right this instant, and otherwise we're happy to correspond or communicate in whatever way benefits the child. (We suspect that the child is currently 1-3 hours from us, so frequent physical assistance on our part would be less doable unless the child were placed with us.)
Is this something you've been through before? What experiences have you had with child placement? (I'm actually not even really sure what questions to ask beyond this, but if you have been down this road and are comfortable sharing, please do!) We've discussed adopting or fostering before, but only in hypotheticals, as it's something we weren't planning to look into for 5-10 years (we're in our early 30's and are not having bio kids). Something externally-initiated like this was never on our radar. Any guidance, tips for questions to ask, or experiences you would like to share would be welcome!
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Comment on US shoppers, drawn by steep discounts, power through Black Friday in ~finance
crialpaca LinkI feel like everyone is have two weeks of Black Friday sales now, and I'm a bit desensitized to it because I've already been looking at sales for a while. We did buy personalized cards using...I feel like everyone is have two weeks of Black Friday sales now, and I'm a bit desensitized to it because I've already been looking at sales for a while. We did buy personalized cards using deals, but those were for our elopement announcements. We'd be buying them once, Black Friday or not. I tried to buy stuff I wanted before Black Friday so I wouldn't be tempted to buy more than I planned.
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Comment on Cataloging your home library in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentYou can filter by edition type, genre, whether you've read it or not, etc. in the "owned" list. It has quite a lot of functionality.You can filter by edition type, genre, whether you've read it or not, etc. in the "owned" list. It has quite a lot of functionality.
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Comment on Cataloging your home library in ~books
crialpaca LinkI use TheStoryGraph and mark the ones I own as "owned". I have yet to stand in front of my bookshelf and fully complete the task (I probably should), or to go through my Kindle library and mark...I use TheStoryGraph and mark the ones I own as "owned". I have yet to stand in front of my bookshelf and fully complete the task (I probably should), or to go through my Kindle library and mark those as owned (... nightmare), but at least I rarely have to manually enter any data. There's an "owned" tab on my profile and I can easily search or filter it for whatever I'm looking for.
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Comment on Hate-reading? in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentI read Digital Fortress in high school and enjoyed it but I do remember it being a bit... out there lol. 2010 me had questions about the likelihood of all that stuff. Deception Point is even more...I read Digital Fortress in high school and enjoyed it but I do remember it being a bit... out there lol. 2010 me had questions about the likelihood of all that stuff. Deception Point is even more fun.
I let myself DNF the final book in a trilogy somewhat recently. I'm still kind of upset about it but it was just the same plot as the previous two but with elements that were ickier. Not a fan of reusing single-book plots in a short series...
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Comment on Hate-reading? in ~books
crialpaca LinkI occasionally hate-read but I try not to make it a habit. It depends how invested I am. Usually, I'll put down a book if it's grating too much. But there have been a couple that I've hate-read!...I occasionally hate-read but I try not to make it a habit. It depends how invested I am. Usually, I'll put down a book if it's grating too much. But there have been a couple that I've hate-read!
Recently, I knew somewhere in the first couple of paragraphs that a book would be dubious. It was set in the very small part of the country in which I grew up. This region has a very specific mix of flora, fauna, culture, etc. The author is not from here. She absolutely butchered it. I hate-read it and listed to my friends all the reasons they shouldn't read it. We had a good laugh, but I kind of feel like I took one for the team. People who aren't from here generally enjoy it. I might have enjoyed it if I wasn't from here, but we'll never know.
Then there are other books I just keep reading despite stuff that is mildly annoying because it's about the experience instead of the glowing prose. Not really a hate-read but not the most amazing quality one, either.
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentIron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao is a wild good time. Mecha meets Handmaid's Tale meets ancient China/ Chinese mythology meets ??? There's a lot of stuff going on. It's a bit polarizing in some...Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao is a wild good time. Mecha meets Handmaid's Tale meets ancient China/ Chinese mythology meets ??? There's a lot of stuff going on. It's a bit polarizing in some respects (treatment of feminism in the characters), but I genuinely enjoyed it, especially if I didn't look at it with too critical an eye.
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Comment on Tips for becoming a tea person in ~food
crialpaca LinkI like herbal teas, which you can often sweeten to enhance the flavor. My suggestion would be to see if you can get a sampler pack of a bunch of different kinds and narrow it down to a few you...I like herbal teas, which you can often sweeten to enhance the flavor. My suggestion would be to see if you can get a sampler pack of a bunch of different kinds and narrow it down to a few you could see yourself drinking a bunch of. Try varying preparation with sweetener or nondairy milks to see what you like most.
Also, tea doesn't always benefit from steeping in boiling water. Different temperatures are recommended for different teas, as are different steeping lengths. Covering while steeping can also be beneficial (I just found this out in the last year or so and I'm still bad about actually doing it).
I agree with redbearsam that oat milk is often great for tea. I also like soy milk. But not every tea needs added creaminess! I rarely add milk to tea myself, unless I'm going for a tea latte situation.
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
crialpaca LinkI went and did some running on purpose for the first time since probably 2010 today. I have a headache and my muscles hurt, but I think I feel almost uniquely better about this than I have about...I went and did some running on purpose for the first time since probably 2010 today. I have a headache and my muscles hurt, but I think I feel almost uniquely better about this than I have about other kinds of exercise so far. While it's higher impact than my stationary bike, it was nice to be outdoors, listening to music and being in the vicinity of others. I did intervals of running and walking and went a total of about 3 miles. I'm gonna try to keep doing this on the weekends and on the weekday I have off every other week. Unfortunately, it'll probably be kind of difficult to be consistent with daylight hours shrinking and my usual work day being 12 hours long. But I'm gonna do what I can!
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca LinkCurrently reading: A Column of Fire by Ken Follett (95%, audio, please save me I'm so ready to be done). The Wonder Engine by T. Kingfisher. A Court of Mist and Fury by SJM (trying again after...Currently reading: A Column of Fire by Ken Follett (95%, audio, please save me I'm so ready to be done). The Wonder Engine by T. Kingfisher. A Court of Mist and Fury by SJM (trying again after rage-quitting the audiobook; reading print this time and it's going better). War by Laura Thalassa.
Recently finished: Finding Grace by Loretta Rothschild (thought this was a great time), We Live Here Now by Sarah Pinborough (marketed as horror, in my opinion in was a little eh overall but the concept was fun. Very The Yellow Wallpaper for a bit.). The Ballad of Never After by Stephanie Garber (why am I still reading these? ).
Up next: Pirate King by Laurie R. King, The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté and Daniel Maté.
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Comment on How do you survive time change? in ~life.pets
crialpaca LinkI thought mine woke me up at 6:40 this morning and was super proud of her. Joke was on me, my watch hadn't synced yet and it was actually 5:40. Her breakfast time varies between 5 am and 6 am on...I thought mine woke me up at 6:40 this morning and was super proud of her. Joke was on me, my watch hadn't synced yet and it was actually 5:40. Her breakfast time varies between 5 am and 6 am on weekdays and is usually later on the weekends. Dinner (4 pm always) will be the real test. She usually starts shaking and begging at 3 pm. She's already doing that and it's a quarter after 2.
It's gonna be a little tough this time, I fear.
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Comment on Timasomo 2025: Final Updates in ~creative.timasomo
crialpaca Link ParentThank you!! Shimmer is my favorite which is why it's so strong here lolThank you!! Shimmer is my favorite which is why it's so strong here lol
They're not alone! The polish world is a lot bigger than I thought it was when I started this. My first (and only intended) Holo Taco has been circling my house for three days with the postal service, ha!
The tough thing with collecting is that it's hard to stop or slow down when it's a consumable good and there are a lot of options. I found a brand yesterday that is a much cheaper alternative to the recent stuff I've been buying, so I'm going to try a few of theirs out and see if it scratches the itch. I don't love feeling frantic about getting stuff before it's gone.