crialpaca's recent activity
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Comment on Experiences with foster system and support for removed relatives in ~life
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Comment on Experiences with foster system and support for removed relatives in ~life
crialpaca Link ParentThank you! I signed up for the info sessions that the child services department hosts. Unfortunately, they're only once a month, but I'll be trying to find more information in the meantime....Thank you! I signed up for the info sessions that the child services department hosts. Unfortunately, they're only once a month, but I'll be trying to find more information in the meantime. Whether something comes out of this situation or not, it will be good for me to have info about where to start in the future, since fostering or adopting were things we have discussed as a possibility, anyway.
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Comment on Experiences with foster system and support for removed relatives in ~life
crialpaca Link ParentThank you for the response, and I'm sorry you and your family and your placed child are going through a similar situation. I hope it smoothes out a bit more with time. It wouldn't be proper foster...Thank you for the response, and I'm sorry you and your family and your placed child are going through a similar situation. I hope it smoothes out a bit more with time. It wouldn't be proper foster care for us either, as far as I know, but would be somewhat regulated like foster care (they do a home check for safety hazards?). We would have the option of getting licensed which would open up some financial aid, I guess.
This child is older, well into school age but not a young adult. They should be able to communicate, but I'm not sure how effective that communication will be. (I think with a lot of kids, myself included at that age, sometimes communication becomes more indirect or misunderstood as they get older and into being a teenager, unless they're great at being blunt or getting their feelings across.) However, the child has been through STUFF before (big parental battle when they were small) and I have no idea how that would have affected them long term. I haven't seen them in half their life. They might know who I am or recognize me but not remember me, but that would be an extremely small possibility. They'll probably think, "wait, who's this rando?" If I actually did get involved. So this whole thing is pretty much a big "I guess we'll see" for the moment.
I did, however, realize this morning that we are now less than two weeks from Christmas, which our extended family on the whole has historically celebrated. So depending on what's going on, I may feel obligated to get involved sooner than I normally would. If the child's family has been following our traditions, the child should NOT be in a group home or something on Christmas.
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Comment on Experiences with foster system and support for removed relatives in ~life
crialpaca Link ParentThank you! Yeah, the part we have concerns about are the parts we may not be able to prepare for... (Does child have issues they won't disclose to us?) There are also definitely some normal parts...Thank you! Yeah, the part we have concerns about are the parts we may not be able to prepare for... (Does child have issues they won't disclose to us?) There are also definitely some normal parts of parenting that we would likely not be prepared to deal with until they happen, as this is the first time we've considered parenting and we would be thrust into the middle of it lol. (What if they have issues at school? What if they have a particular communication style that we don't get? And like infinitely more hypotheticals.)
My feeling has always been that if I get to a place where I can support a child who needs support, I'd probably be happy to help. It's a little earlier than I foresaw feeling that way, as we JUST got settled, but that also might be fine. I guess we'll find out. Maybe this situation will lend itself to having us considering fostering more readily than we had before.
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Experiences with foster system and support for removed relatives
Hi Tilderinos! First, apologies for the ramble. I'm based in the US. I got a letter from our state's child services department telling me that one of my relatives who is a minor has been removed...
Hi Tilderinos!
First, apologies for the ramble. I'm based in the US. I got a letter from our state's child services department telling me that one of my relatives who is a minor has been removed from the custody of their parents. The letter asked me to complete a form to indicate the level of involvement I'm interested in having with said child's placement and/or support.
We don't know what the child's situation is. I'm the furthest-degree relative they search for - hopefully someone closer will step forward, but unfortunately, based on what I know of our part of the family, other relatives may not be in the best situation to take on a child. I'm hoping that this would be a temporary situation and that the ultimate goal is for the child to be reunited with their parent(s), but we have no information at all right now other than "child was removed and we're looking for support from relatives."
I'm going to call the contact info on the letter tomorrow, as we received it after business hours today. We've discussed our comfort levels with caring for a child and what type of situation we could say yes to and what we would have to say no to. We are very fortunate to be in a stable situation (in control of our own housing, dual incomes, qualified for leave programs, etc.). Our point of view currently is that this child is a child in need of support, and we are willing to provide what we can as long as it's not overtly detrimental to us or to them. I already filled out the form the best I could in a manner that corresponds with our comfort level, which is approximately that placement with us would be a possibility but not right this instant, and otherwise we're happy to correspond or communicate in whatever way benefits the child. (We suspect that the child is currently 1-3 hours from us, so frequent physical assistance on our part would be less doable unless the child were placed with us.)
Is this something you've been through before? What experiences have you had with child placement? (I'm actually not even really sure what questions to ask beyond this, but if you have been down this road and are comfortable sharing, please do!) We've discussed adopting or fostering before, but only in hypotheticals, as it's something we weren't planning to look into for 5-10 years (we're in our early 30's and are not having bio kids). Something externally-initiated like this was never on our radar. Any guidance, tips for questions to ask, or experiences you would like to share would be welcome!
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Comment on US shoppers, drawn by steep discounts, power through Black Friday in ~finance
crialpaca LinkI feel like everyone is have two weeks of Black Friday sales now, and I'm a bit desensitized to it because I've already been looking at sales for a while. We did buy personalized cards using...I feel like everyone is have two weeks of Black Friday sales now, and I'm a bit desensitized to it because I've already been looking at sales for a while. We did buy personalized cards using deals, but those were for our elopement announcements. We'd be buying them once, Black Friday or not. I tried to buy stuff I wanted before Black Friday so I wouldn't be tempted to buy more than I planned.
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Comment on Cataloging your home library in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentYou can filter by edition type, genre, whether you've read it or not, etc. in the "owned" list. It has quite a lot of functionality.You can filter by edition type, genre, whether you've read it or not, etc. in the "owned" list. It has quite a lot of functionality.
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Comment on Cataloging your home library in ~books
crialpaca LinkI use TheStoryGraph and mark the ones I own as "owned". I have yet to stand in front of my bookshelf and fully complete the task (I probably should), or to go through my Kindle library and mark...I use TheStoryGraph and mark the ones I own as "owned". I have yet to stand in front of my bookshelf and fully complete the task (I probably should), or to go through my Kindle library and mark those as owned (... nightmare), but at least I rarely have to manually enter any data. There's an "owned" tab on my profile and I can easily search or filter it for whatever I'm looking for.
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Comment on Hate-reading? in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentI read Digital Fortress in high school and enjoyed it but I do remember it being a bit... out there lol. 2010 me had questions about the likelihood of all that stuff. Deception Point is even more...I read Digital Fortress in high school and enjoyed it but I do remember it being a bit... out there lol. 2010 me had questions about the likelihood of all that stuff. Deception Point is even more fun.
I let myself DNF the final book in a trilogy somewhat recently. I'm still kind of upset about it but it was just the same plot as the previous two but with elements that were ickier. Not a fan of reusing single-book plots in a short series...
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Comment on Hate-reading? in ~books
crialpaca LinkI occasionally hate-read but I try not to make it a habit. It depends how invested I am. Usually, I'll put down a book if it's grating too much. But there have been a couple that I've hate-read!...I occasionally hate-read but I try not to make it a habit. It depends how invested I am. Usually, I'll put down a book if it's grating too much. But there have been a couple that I've hate-read!
Recently, I knew somewhere in the first couple of paragraphs that a book would be dubious. It was set in the very small part of the country in which I grew up. This region has a very specific mix of flora, fauna, culture, etc. The author is not from here. She absolutely butchered it. I hate-read it and listed to my friends all the reasons they shouldn't read it. We had a good laugh, but I kind of feel like I took one for the team. People who aren't from here generally enjoy it. I might have enjoyed it if I wasn't from here, but we'll never know.
Then there are other books I just keep reading despite stuff that is mildly annoying because it's about the experience instead of the glowing prose. Not really a hate-read but not the most amazing quality one, either.
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca Link ParentIron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao is a wild good time. Mecha meets Handmaid's Tale meets ancient China/ Chinese mythology meets ??? There's a lot of stuff going on. It's a bit polarizing in some...Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao is a wild good time. Mecha meets Handmaid's Tale meets ancient China/ Chinese mythology meets ??? There's a lot of stuff going on. It's a bit polarizing in some respects (treatment of feminism in the characters), but I genuinely enjoyed it, especially if I didn't look at it with too critical an eye.
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Comment on Tips for becoming a tea person in ~food
crialpaca LinkI like herbal teas, which you can often sweeten to enhance the flavor. My suggestion would be to see if you can get a sampler pack of a bunch of different kinds and narrow it down to a few you...I like herbal teas, which you can often sweeten to enhance the flavor. My suggestion would be to see if you can get a sampler pack of a bunch of different kinds and narrow it down to a few you could see yourself drinking a bunch of. Try varying preparation with sweetener or nondairy milks to see what you like most.
Also, tea doesn't always benefit from steeping in boiling water. Different temperatures are recommended for different teas, as are different steeping lengths. Covering while steeping can also be beneficial (I just found this out in the last year or so and I'm still bad about actually doing it).
I agree with redbearsam that oat milk is often great for tea. I also like soy milk. But not every tea needs added creaminess! I rarely add milk to tea myself, unless I'm going for a tea latte situation.
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Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health
crialpaca LinkI went and did some running on purpose for the first time since probably 2010 today. I have a headache and my muscles hurt, but I think I feel almost uniquely better about this than I have about...I went and did some running on purpose for the first time since probably 2010 today. I have a headache and my muscles hurt, but I think I feel almost uniquely better about this than I have about other kinds of exercise so far. While it's higher impact than my stationary bike, it was nice to be outdoors, listening to music and being in the vicinity of others. I did intervals of running and walking and went a total of about 3 miles. I'm gonna try to keep doing this on the weekends and on the weekday I have off every other week. Unfortunately, it'll probably be kind of difficult to be consistent with daylight hours shrinking and my usual work day being 12 hours long. But I'm gonna do what I can!
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca LinkCurrently reading: A Column of Fire by Ken Follett (95%, audio, please save me I'm so ready to be done). The Wonder Engine by T. Kingfisher. A Court of Mist and Fury by SJM (trying again after...Currently reading: A Column of Fire by Ken Follett (95%, audio, please save me I'm so ready to be done). The Wonder Engine by T. Kingfisher. A Court of Mist and Fury by SJM (trying again after rage-quitting the audiobook; reading print this time and it's going better). War by Laura Thalassa.
Recently finished: Finding Grace by Loretta Rothschild (thought this was a great time), We Live Here Now by Sarah Pinborough (marketed as horror, in my opinion in was a little eh overall but the concept was fun. Very The Yellow Wallpaper for a bit.). The Ballad of Never After by Stephanie Garber (why am I still reading these? ).
Up next: Pirate King by Laurie R. King, The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté and Daniel Maté.
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Comment on How do you survive time change? in ~life.pets
crialpaca LinkI thought mine woke me up at 6:40 this morning and was super proud of her. Joke was on me, my watch hadn't synced yet and it was actually 5:40. Her breakfast time varies between 5 am and 6 am on...I thought mine woke me up at 6:40 this morning and was super proud of her. Joke was on me, my watch hadn't synced yet and it was actually 5:40. Her breakfast time varies between 5 am and 6 am on weekdays and is usually later on the weekends. Dinner (4 pm always) will be the real test. She usually starts shaking and begging at 3 pm. She's already doing that and it's a quarter after 2.
It's gonna be a little tough this time, I fear.
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Comment on Timasomo 2025: Final Updates in ~creative.timasomo
crialpaca Link ParentThank you!! Shimmer is my favorite which is why it's so strong here lolThank you!! Shimmer is my favorite which is why it's so strong here lol
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Comment on Timasomo 2025: Final Updates in ~creative.timasomo
crialpaca LinkMy Halloween nails: right hand and left hand. There are 7 polishes in use here and it was a fair amount of work! Each nail has 3 to 4 coats of color, a base coat, and a top coat. This was also my...My Halloween nails: right hand and left hand. There are 7 polishes in use here and it was a fair amount of work! Each nail has 3 to 4 coats of color, a base coat, and a top coat. This was also my first time working with black nail polish. Thankfully, the one I got seems pretty easy to manage.
Every nail has 1-2 coats of OPI Black Onyx. Next, it's either OPI Sound of Vibrance (purple), OPI #virgoals (sheer bronze that turns green over black), or Sally Hansen Sundown Socialite (orange-reddish pink). A few nails have an additional layer - Sally Hansen Disco Ball (glitter in clear coat), OPI Feelin' Capricorn-y (sage with purple shimmer - appears either green or purple depending on light), or OPI Taurus-t Me (green fine glitter on left index finger).
Because of the many layers of polish, and this being day 4 of wear, it's shrinking a bit. But this has been a fun experiment with what I've heard called "blackened jewel tones." If I were to do this again, I would do it without the toppers - the sheens of Sundown Socialite, Sound of Vibrance, and #virgoals were quite nice on their own, I just got a bit enthusiastic with all the stuff I was trying!
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Comment on Looking for movies that combine religion mythology and supernatural elements in ~movies
crialpaca LinkMe and Mr. Alpaca recently watched a movie called Sinners. It's a vampire movie that is being advertised as pretty straightforward horror, but it actually has some elements of music, religion, and...Me and Mr. Alpaca recently watched a movie called Sinners. It's a vampire movie that is being advertised as pretty straightforward horror, but it actually has some elements of music, religion, and historical racial tension in it. I'm a big fan of Supernatural and I think other fans of Supernatural who have matured a bit would greatly appreciate it.
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Comment on Timasomo 2025: Week 3 Updates in ~creative.timasomo
crialpaca LinkJust made surprise progress on my plans for my Halloween set of nail colors. I have been planning to do a combo of green, purple, and orange. The issues with that are: I don't have a green that...Just made surprise progress on my plans for my Halloween set of nail colors. I have been planning to do a combo of green, purple, and orange. The issues with that are: I don't have a green that gets opaque, the purple I have is more of a plum and takes 5 coats to get opaque (which sucks), and the orange I have is actually orange-to-pink. I think this last one is technically fine, but it's annoying to have no fully compatible options.
So today, I swatched a sheer bronze polish I have that has a green shimmer, over 2 coats of plain black. Much to my surprise, the result was evergreen with only a hint of bronze tint when tilting in the light. Swatch stick. So! Now I have this option for like ALL the upcoming holidays. Excellent.
Next, since I've had so much frustration with the purple I bought (which has reinforced my determination to mostly buy in person, though I'm not sure it would have actually helped in this case), I swatched that over 2 coats of black. Imagine my surprise when it came out the way I always wanted it to! Swatch stick. I never expected this accidental black creme purchase to be such a godsend but here we are!
So, now that I've got these done, I can formulate my set for Halloween week. Which I think I actually need to paint tomorrow. I guess we'll see. I'm somewhat afraid of black polish and putting dark colors on my nails in general (staining can be a concern), but fingers crossed all goes well.
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
crialpaca LinkCurrently reading: God of the Hive by Laurie R. King, which is roughly halfway through her current Sherlock Holmes/Mary Russell series. I'm at about 40% and I'm confused but I'm supposed to be, so...Currently reading: God of the Hive by Laurie R. King, which is roughly halfway through her current Sherlock Holmes/Mary Russell series. I'm at about 40% and I'm confused but I'm supposed to be, so it's fine. The Midnight Library by Matt Haig (book club), just started. Network Effect by Martha Wells (audiobook with Mr. Alpaca, more or less just started). And War by Laura Thalassa. I actually skipped including the first book, Famine, on my posts here, because I wasn't sure if it would be too embarrassing. Basically, the plot is "ladies who fall for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse." And Famine was highly entertaining. So I guess War can go in my posts lol. Just started that, as well.
Just finished: Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo - felt like a clean ending to this trilogy, though I could have done with more. The Light Pirate by Lily Brooks-Dalton - I found this really slow but it might just be me. I enjoyed the nature writing aspects of it and the ending. Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer - funny but basically background noise. The Unmaking of June Farrow by Adrienne Young - I LOVED THIS AND I WANT IT TO BE A MOVIE. Ahem. This had a very good slow build of plot and romance and family and setting. Just the right amount of fantastical elements without making it too complicated. The Winners by Fredrik Backman - this author just knows how to punch you right in the heart.
Up next: A Court of Mist and Fury by SJM (DNF'd it on audio, we'll see if I enjoy it more in print). The Scald-Crow by Grace Daly, Carry by Toni Jensen.
Thank you all for the thoughtful and kind replies! Just a small update (pinging @fnulare), I reached out to the person who sent the letter and expressed my concerns about the child being without family on Christmas/holidays, in addition to letting them know I had filled out their form. They told me they would email the caseworker and request that the caseworker reach out to me asap, but that the caseworker has 10 business days to process those forms (note: that puts us into January). This conversation happened yesterday and I haven't heard back.
On the rumor mill end of things... we now have information from extended family that the removal may have actually stemmed from a behavioral issue of the child's and the removal may have been for their safety and the safety of others. So. Not using this as a working assumption AT ALL but, we will be proceeding with caution, if we hear back. When Mr. Alpaca and I talked about this, children with legitimate behavior issues were one of the things we did not consider ourselves ready for right out of the gate. However, we will not assume the child actually has them until we're told such by officials, and we'll still do what we can if our involvement is desired. And I'm still attending the foster parent info session in January regardless :) we had another flurry of weird news yesterday (interesting how the universe works!) that means taking fosters may be much more comfortable for us much sooner than expected, but we're not counting those chickens until they hatch, either.