DefinitelyNotAFae's recent activity
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Comment on Did wokeness leave us worse off? (gifted link) in ~society
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Comment on Game Changer: At Home Edition Kickstarter in ~games
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentAlready backed! And hoping I can swing an upgrade when it hits the backerkit stage If I justify it as a Christmas present like the taskmaster advent calendar 🤔Already backed! And hoping I can swing an upgrade when it hits the backerkit stage
If I justify it as a Christmas present like the taskmaster advent calendar 🤔
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Comment on Questions for ~books on self promotion in ~books
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentAuthors count too! :)Authors count too! :)
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Comment on Is British English actually better than American English? in ~humanities.languages
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI don't. I'm just interested in it for the same reasons I like folklore and foodways. As for whether I care, I am still processing your previous post to me and not really sure how I feel about it...I don't. I'm just interested in it for the same reasons I like folklore and foodways.
As for whether I care, I am still processing your previous post to me and not really sure how I feel about it all, mostly still pretty upset/hurt about it all frankly. Hence not ignoring the question or responding with a polite smoothing over as if everything is fine.
So since you asked, I don't know. In case there's confusion from anyone, this is bluntness, not hostility.
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Comment on Questions for ~books on self promotion in ~books
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentOrdered from the US because similarly it's fun to support folks and I don't mind a romance now and then eitherOrdered from the US because similarly it's fun to support folks and I don't mind a romance now and then either
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Comment on "The reason I'm not an atheist is that I think the philosophical arguments against it are unanswerable" (gifted link) in ~humanities
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentDifferent book, but the Kushiel's Dart series is an alternate history fantasy earth where the Yeshuites live in a very nomadic form and are considered odd for being "monotheists" when a number of...Different book, but the Kushiel's Dart series is an alternate history fantasy earth where the Yeshuites live in a very nomadic form and are considered odd for being "monotheists" when a number of Angels literally walked the earth and gave birth to the people of Terre D'Ange (fantasy France) with one commandment above all "Love as Thou Wilt." (Which humans then fail at a lot) They are descended from and pledge themselves to different angels/bloodlines of angels and they all took different angles on the whole thing. (Content warnings abound)
Personally the Yeshuites read very Jewish but also maybe Roma? It's been a while though so now I'm due for a reread.
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Comment on Did wokeness leave us worse off? (gifted link) in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )Link ParentI'm not attempting to shame them nor in this post trying to change them. We will not change them by blaming other people for their actions. They also don't have actual critical mass, they're loud...I'm not attempting to shame them nor in this post trying to change them. We will not change them by blaming other people for their actions.
They also don't have actual critical mass, they're loud but I firmly believe there's more of "us" than "them" but we keep telling "us" to stop being so demanding and just accommodate "them" more because it's "our fault" that they're this way.
The people doing the work of education and thus change, are already frequently the most marginalized. What I do for change is different than when I post on the internet about an article that contains an exhausting repetition of a blame-shifting narrative.
If someone is taking an action to spite or hurt someone else they're being an asshole. My typical solution to that is to individually, nicely, ask them why they're being an asshole, pointing out the impact of their actions and the motivation they're expressing. But I'm not the therapist or educator for the world. In my tiny realm, I do an excellent job.
Here, I'm going to say the very basic thing that "hurting others is bad behavior" and see if I can get told I'm not being nice enough a dozen more times. I don't see much analysis here and I'm not sure why I get graced with the tone policing of it all.
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Comment on Is British English actually better than American English? in ~humanities.languages
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentAnd like I said, it's fine, I understood you, and the English language and society in general was no worse off for it. It's only the irony that was relevant.And like I said, it's fine, I understood you, and the English language and society in general was no worse off for it.
It's only the irony that was relevant.
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Comment on Is British English actually better than American English? in ~humanities.languages
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentNope just interested in the topic and felt pointing out that you undermined your own argument twice, and thus IMO disproved your thesis, was the clearest way to respond. Putting the way you speak...In contrast, I found both Fae's and your responses to my question felt pretty combative and/or hostile.
Nope just interested in the topic and felt pointing out that you undermined your own argument twice, and thus IMO disproved your thesis, was the clearest way to respond. Putting the way you speak in a place of superiority over another's more inferior speech will nearly always result in a typo at minimum, it's basically a rule of the internet.
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Comment on Pizza Hut reinstating the BOOK IT! program in ~books
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentFwiw I think the "branding" would have been less successful without those meaningful memories. Your mom is as responsible for your fondness for Pizza hut as Book It! is, probably a good deal more....Fwiw I think the "branding" would have been less successful without those meaningful memories. Your mom is as responsible for your fondness for Pizza hut as Book It! is, probably a good deal more.
from someone who recently bought red plastic tumblers because they're a nostalgic pizza hut aesthetic ( ◜‿◝ )♡
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Comment on Did wokeness leave us worse off? (gifted link) in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI genuinely don't know how to read it as anything other than being rude and uncharitable but I acknowledge you saying that wasn't your intent. And maybe that's because I'm really deeply tired of...I genuinely don't know how to read it as anything other than being rude and uncharitable but I acknowledge you saying that wasn't your intent. And maybe that's because I'm really deeply tired of being told I, personally, am the reason for people not wanting to engage on this site and in these sorts of threads and that I make their Tildes experience worse to the extent of people DMing me that they quit the site because of me and one doing it dramatically and publicly. And while you're very kind in this response that message still sort of continues here.
I genuinely just disagreed with your take, not because I think you suck, or you didn't live up to an imagined purity test, but because I disagreed with the thing you said. I don't care about internet votes one way or the other, it's not a relevant metric to me.
Thanks for the kindness here. I hear and appreciate it, genuinely, despite disagreeing with you and my other feelings on the matter.
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Comment on Did wokeness leave us worse off? (gifted link) in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )Link ParentI just disagree with standing ground being a losing strategy or that being non binary is a bridge too far When folks respond to this overblown rage with very simple but popular statements like how...I just disagree with standing ground being a losing strategy or that being non binary is a bridge too far When folks respond to this overblown rage with very simple but popular statements like how everyone deserves to be allowed to work, rent or own a home, feed their families, or that everyone deserves equal protection under the law, even people we may not know well, not understand or disagree with, voters seem to go for it. When people get wishy washy about trans people or human rights in general, the left bails and the liberals are stunned to find the right winning.
You don't beat them by buying into the bullshit you beat them by having values and better marketing while pointing out how "they" want to end women's right to vote.
I mean even the Pope is standing his ground on the matter more than some pundits think Dems should.
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Comment on Did wokeness leave us worse off? (gifted link) in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )Link ParentThis tracks but like, I LARP as a Fae on the internet, who am I to judge without knowingThis tracks but like, I LARP as a Fae on the internet, who am I to judge without knowing
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Comment on Did wokeness leave us worse off? (gifted link) in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentHey, I wasn't trying to fucking "one up" you, I was responding to your words in a theme with my previous posts in the comment section. I also never described people as "pieces of fucking shit" or...Hey, I wasn't trying to fucking "one up" you, I was responding to your words in a theme with my previous posts in the comment section. I also never described people as "pieces of fucking shit" or spiteful or hateful. "Nice" people still do shitty things. Also some people are less nice than they think.
Your whole post was about how people are victims of the whack jobs, I don't agree that this removes their agency because they just believe what they're told. I elaborated with a comparison to abolitionists during slavery. It's possible to overcome generational trauma.
If saying "people are responsible for their own actions and even when victims themselves also make choices" is now wokeness and an exemplar of why people hate conversations like this, like, I genuinely don't know what anyone is allowed to say. I have not laid out a purity test here. I have said that people have agency and responsibility for their actions.
But yeah sure I'm wokeness gone too far or whatever.
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Comment on Did wokeness leave us worse off? (gifted link) in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentNo I understand, I was just speaking on it, broadly because I do very much appreciate your post in general and this one in particular. I think it's an important reminder. I also think when you're...No I understand, I was just speaking on it, broadly because I do very much appreciate your post in general and this one in particular. I think it's an important reminder.
I also think when you're talking about people in an aggregate you're inevitably making some assumptions and generalizations and that's different than the instinct to say every single one of these people is a horrible, evil person who would kick a puppy.
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Comment on Did wokeness leave us worse off? (gifted link) in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentThe person above me reference someone who identified as "Divine" and insisted on having capitalized They/Them Pronouns (like being God vs god.) I've never heard of it before either. IMO the issue...The person above me reference someone who identified as "Divine" and insisted on having capitalized They/Them Pronouns (like being God vs god.) I've never heard of it before either. IMO the issue is it sounds like they were a jerk, not their pronouns.
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Comment on Did wokeness leave us worse off? (gifted link) in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI assume you mean using "they" because we do refer to people in the third person all the time. I find it simple in part because it was for me, long before it was relevant to my identity. But this...referring to someone in the third person is something that is now Deeply Personal and Very Simple
I assume you mean using "they" because we do refer to people in the third person all the time. I find it simple in part because it was for me, long before it was relevant to my identity. But this same case can be made for immigrants or Black people. You just want people to accept them as equals and not assume they're eating your cats? Without any effort?
No but I expect people to work through their shit when they have it. If a black person getting a job sends them into a froth about affirmative action (old) or DEI (new) sociologists can study why but that's still the frother being racist.
Kamala didn't talk about trans people hardly at all and there's still post mortems about how trans people lost the election. The fear of language policing, like the fear of trans people, is way larger than the either - because the right made it an intentional tactic to foment that fear to turn elections.
What you're describing already happens. Black folks are still called on to educate white colleagues about a black student's hair, but kindly and gently, not too mean; queer people still have to speak as often the only ones ensuring a student's name is respected at graduation, the Spanish speaking employee makes sure the name tag gets printed with the right accents, and people are pushing those basic policy platforms that would help everyone without ever mentioning minorities. That work is happening every single day. And then the right screams "YOUR GIRLS ARE AT RISK FROM MEN IN SPORTS AND CAT EATING HAITIANS" for six hours a night on Fox and none of it matters.
When it's an intentional strategy, and sure a manipulation of some of their co-opted victimizers, it's not because of anything "we" did, it's their choice.
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Comment on Did wokeness leave us worse off? (gifted link) in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI'm sure there has been some small number of folks who have said "I'm woke" just like the black squares on Facebook and the safety pins and the blue bracelets and all the other "let me signal I'm...I'm sure there has been some small number of folks who have said "I'm woke" just like the black squares on Facebook and the safety pins and the blue bracelets and all the other "let me signal I'm ok" things which mostly pop up because some folks are super earnest and naive and others are just hopping what they think the next train is. It speaks to the fragility described in the article if when those gestures are read as functionally meaningless and not met with warm embraces, certain people's responses are "fuck you I won't support you anymore." It's very reminiscent of the dating app experience of "hey girl what's up" and when no response is forthcoming "fuck you fat bitch."
Personally I never see anyone say "you're literally worse than hitler" for some sort of "unwoke" admission but I'm sure a jackass has somewhere.
Someone said "oh it's not about pronouns it's about white women doing DEI trainings" in which case I say then the article/discussion could have been about "white women doing DEI trainings" and not "wokeness". I talked about a quote from the transcript about pronouns and it seemed directly relevant to the conversation both as it is and as a stand-in for having to bother to do any effort to get along with people.
I mention this because let's distill it down, like is the problem really someone who says I'm woke? No that's just awkward. Is the problem pronouns? Nope that's just polite. Is the problem you can't say slurs? No, you can say them, society just judges you for it. So is the problem that society disapproves of your slurs? Yeah. That's part of it.
But the articles never get there. They insist on circling around "who made them this way" with any answer other than "they chose it" and certainly without any "well it's been an intentional courting of and support for these alt-right pipelines for years, you know the way the gang in the first TMNT movie had a skateboard park and video games but were actually a secret ninja villain org? It's that.
I'm genuinely trying not to make a monolith out of "them" in any sense because "they're" not. I just want people to own their own actions and be honest about their motivations - and if they're not honest that "we" or at least "I" don't believe the bullshit.
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Comment on Did wokeness leave us worse off? (gifted link) in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentThey can say the words. They just don't want people to judge them for it, while they judge others for dozens of things. This is no different than the right stirring up hatred of immigrants in the...They can say the words. They just don't want people to judge them for it, while they judge others for dozens of things.
This is no different than the right stirring up hatred of immigrants in the US and outright lying to create support for violence. Its ridiculous to say that the left went too far expecting people to be ok with Haitian or Somali refugees because people are scared of them.
If it wouldn't have been trans people it would have been someone else, it already is other people. And I cannot help that the people who are educated about other options for gender identities and around people open to it are the most likely to come out publicly as nonbinary. There are conservative trans people, there are definitely conservative non-binary people who are shamed into the closet by "my pronouns are fuck you".
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Comment on Did wokeness leave us worse off? (gifted link) in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentThey're victims but they're also holding other people down and punching them. Much like with people and their generational trauma they do still have the ability to choose differently. It might be...They're victims but they're also holding other people down and punching them. Much like with people and their generational trauma they do still have the ability to choose differently. It might be harder than without that manipulation, but people opposed slavery as long as it existed and other people freed their slaves and became abolitionists. People have been shaken out of their homophobia by a queer kid. Others have beaten the kid to death.
People can be victims and also still victimize and they're still responsible for that act, unless they're literal toddlers.
Thank you. I promise I wasn't fishing for compliments, you're very very kind. Some days are just the wrong moments for things to happen.