eladnarra's recent activity
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Comment on The Last of Us - S1E3 Discussion in ~tv
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Comment on The Last of Us - S1E3 Discussion in ~tv
eladnarra Link ParentSo they both still would have chosen to die if Frank hadn't been sick/disabled? That's not the impression I've gotten from recaps and such, but if that's the case, sure, I might see the story...In this case, the tragedy isn't that Frank is disabled. Again, he is not identified as "disabled" by default in the actual context of the show. The tragedy is in the two characters not being able to live without being able to love each other they way they want to (a line that is explicitly said at one point). I included this because you are convinced the tragedy of this episode is over Frank's disablement (based on expectations set by things outside of this work) and that is all that has been mentioned but I am also suggesting that because I (and I assume others) found the tragedy of it in a different place entirely, you may find the tragedy to be rather different when you see the events and plot in its actual context.
So they both still would have chosen to die if Frank hadn't been sick/disabled? That's not the impression I've gotten from recaps and such, but if that's the case, sure, I might see the story differently. But from how you describe it, it sounds like he struggled to get into his wheelchair without help and decided he no longer had the will to continue. (Probably as a straw that broke the camel's back.) Was there anything else, aside from disability-related limitations that prompted his decision?
Anyway I believe you. I believe that most people watching this, and the people who wrote it, and the people who acted in it, don't think the tragedy comes from someone choosing to die because of their disability. I believe that everyone thinks the context, a long complex love story, is what makes it tragic. But this is part of my problem.
Disabled people choosing to die is usually portrayed in media as noble, or bittersweet, or the "right" choice to end their (and other people's) suffering. It isn't a tragedy. In fact, the writers talk about this particular story as a happy ending - "Their story is actually happy. Even if it’s sad, it’s happy. They win." And in isolation, maybe that's fine. In the context of the story where most people die horrible deaths, sure. But I would much rather if people actually thought that disabled people choosing to die was sad and a reflection of a broken world, not romantic, because it's happening right now in places like Canada and most people don't even know.
Anyway, this is my last post on this - I haven't watched it, and it feels ridiculous to be even having this discussion. I appreciated a link someone shared, connected it to a similar trope, and that's it. I even said whether the trope applies here is probably debatable. I guess I should have clarified that I also don't feel like debating it.
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Comment on The Last of Us - S1E3 Discussion in ~tv
eladnarra Link ParentCW for frank discussion of ableism, I guess. No. But while there are still so few stories featuring disabled (or gay) characters, it does suck to see this trope in the majority of those that do...CW for frank discussion of ableism, I guess.
There's a lot going on here but I guess the first make or break point is this: does this mean that no disabled (or gay) people should ever die in a work in an effort to avoid the trope? Or am I misreading the situation here? If yes, I think that's a whole can of worms. If no, then here's what I think can be derived from this episode.
No. But while there are still so few stories featuring disabled (or gay) characters, it does suck to see this trope in the majority of those that do exist. Especially when it reinforces societal beliefs about disability -- for example, real disabled people get told to their face, "if I had that [condition], I'd kill myself." We're told our lives are valued less (either explicitly or implicitly) by a bunch of societal pressures -- below-poverty-level (or nonexistent) disability benefits, recommended (or involuntary) Do Not Resuscitate orders, medically assisted dying laws expanding to non-fatal disabilities, government officials saying it's "encouraging" that most of the vaccinated people dying of COVID are disabled, murders of disabled people by their caregivers sometimes being called things like "mercy killings" -- so I guess seeing our deaths portrayed as being "moving" and "bittersweet" in multiple pieces of popular media is just another drop in the bucket.
Still sucks, though.
Everyone is supposed to find a way to feel that hurt here. For you it sounds like the fact that it was a genetic condition that affected someone's ability is the tragedy.
I mean, as a disabled person I don't think that disability is a tragedy, so... perhaps we're talking past each other at this point? I'm hurt that the main way media and society conceives of disabled people is as a tragedy.
Anyway, maybe one day I'll be in a place where I'll feel like watching this. Maybe one day, when there isn't a pandemic threatening my health and my life, and the health and lives of every high risk disabled person. When there are alternative TV shows and movies, stories where disabled people work together and some of them survive the apocalypse, like we have so far with COVID. When society supports disabled folks and makes it possible for us to have meaningful lives, however long they are, instead of incentivizing us to shorten them by denying adequate support. I think then I'll be ready to watch this episode, and simply take it at face value, instead of as a representation of a much larger problem.
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Comment on The Last of Us - S1E3 Discussion in ~tv
eladnarra Link ParentI'm fine with spoilers if you'd like to elaborate - either I still won't watch it, or the spoilers will make me more inclined to try it. In fact I read a couple recaps just now. I feel like my...I'm fine with spoilers if you'd like to elaborate - either I still won't watch it, or the spoilers will make me more inclined to try it. In fact I read a couple recaps just now.
I feel like my point still stands. Regardless of the story's context, a disabled man dying this way is part of larger collection of work and societal opinions. It sucks that so many stories about disabled people are about us dying, and that it's usually portrayed as a bittersweet but happy ending. In this case the writers say it's "happy" because they had many years together, and had dialog to this effect. But they wouldn't have killed themselves if Frank hadn't been sick, right? They probably would have wanted to spend more time together. So it's not as if the decision has no relation to disability.
And I don't really feel like the last bit was hearsay, since I was talking about the MS/ALS comment directly from the writers, not articles discussing cancer. MS and ALS are different enough that it still matters to me. Even if the writers thought the specific disability wasn't relevant to the audience, people in the writer's room needed to know what it was in order to do research, get feedback, and portray it accurately. That's what I meant by lack of care; real life people have these illnesses, which have quite different symptoms and prognoses, and real life people are told (explicitly or implicitly) that it would be better for everyone if they died "on their own terms" instead of hanging on.
Anyway. All I really wanted to do was make a connection to what @moocow1452 posted and thank them. Just as "it's a beautiful love story" doesn't erase the "bury your gays" trope, in my mind neither does it erase the "bury your disabled" trope. I don't expect most people to agree. It's pretty hard to see the societal pull of "the world would be better off without you" if it isn't directed at you.
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Comment on The Last of Us - S1E3 Discussion in ~tv
eladnarra Link ParentThank you for sharing this. The end particularly resonated with me, albeit for a different reason: Another trope that's similar to "bury your gays" but less visible in the broader culture is...Thank you for sharing this. The end particularly resonated with me, albeit for a different reason:
Specifically with this trope, I can ask why this sort of thing is 95% of what happens in these stories and why it’s always so cathartic for everyone else? Honestly, why is it more powerful if they die, regardless of circumstance? Because, in the end, who is this all really for?
Another trope that's similar to "bury your gays" but less visible in the broader culture is disabled people constantly dying in media and that being portrayed as a good thing. ("Hollywood Promotes the Idea it is Better to be Dead than Disabled") When so many stories are told about disabled people are about how dying is better than being disabled, because it ends their "suffering," leaves people better off without them, or both, it sucks. Why is a story more powerful if disabled people die? At this point, wouldn't it be more powerful if we actually lived for once?
I guess whether or not that trope applies to this episode is debatable, since it does show them having a life together and both of them die. (I haven't seen it.) But damn it hurts to live through a pandemic that's disabling and killing people (still), and to hear about a story apparently showing how disabled folks don't have a place in a (fictional) pandemic future.
I also read the writers didn't even know what illness/disability he had, saying it was MS or ALS, which are pretty different. That lack of care, plus the "bury the disabled" trope, has kind of turned me off watching beyond episode 1, unfortunately.
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Comment on Nearly two in five American college graduates regret their majors in ~humanities
eladnarra LinkKind of funny that the article focuses on regretting taking humanities - sometimes I regret my BS in Biology and wish I'd gone with my first choice, English. I loved biology, still do, but none of...Kind of funny that the article focuses on regretting taking humanities - sometimes I regret my BS in Biology and wish I'd gone with my first choice, English. I loved biology, still do, but none of the job opportunities in it ended up being accessible to me. I probably should have realized at some point, like when I had to get permission for a stool during a standing-only organic chemistry lab, or when I had to drop a bioinformatics minor because of 4 hour exams. But ah well. Hindsight is 20-20 and all that.
It's also interesting to see people talking about community colleges as a good alternative. I started at a community college and got an AA, which was specifically designed to transfer to a state university. It worked really well for me, a disabled student who dropped out of high school and got a GED. I never had to deal with SATs or anything like that, and I was accepted into my first choice transfer university.
But it didn't help as much with figuring out what I wanted to do. In my state, once you transfer to a university, you're locked into your major. And I only took my first programming course (Python for Biologists) after transferring. So I never had a chance to discover an interesting field that might have been more accessible than biology.
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Comment on What are your plans for the first six months of 2023? in ~talk
eladnarra Link ParentThanks! I'll probably have to tackle things in an overlapping fashion, but at least for some of it there's just a lot of waiting around. (Don't see my surgeon for the first time until the end of...Thanks! I'll probably have to tackle things in an overlapping fashion, but at least for some of it there's just a lot of waiting around. (Don't see my surgeon for the first time until the end of January, for example.)
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Comment on What are your plans for the first six months of 2023? in ~talk
eladnarra LinkHm... My main ones are to start a new medication, get a salpingectomy, and move away from Florida. The last two are kinda related - it's becoming more important to live somewhere that isn't...Hm... My main ones are to start a new medication, get a salpingectomy, and move away from Florida. The last two are kinda related - it's becoming more important to live somewhere that isn't Republican to the max, and with Roe gone I don't want to have the possibility of pregnancy hanging over me, even once I'm in a blue state.
It's a bit scary, not gonna lie. The med has potential side effects like minor immune suppression. I've never had surgery before, and my various health conditions make it less routine than it otherwise would be. (In fact, I'm doing this one first partly to see how I handle surgery before I get a more involved one...) And moving will take me far away from my parents, who are still a pretty big part of my support structure, despite living with my spouse.
It's also nerve wracking to consider surgery and moving while trying to avoid COVID. I won't be severely immunocompromised by this med, but I was already high risk.
Sorry, I know this is probably meant to be a positive thread. These are all good things at their core, there's just a lot tempering any excitement.
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Comment on Timasomo 2022: Showcase Thread in ~creative.timasomo
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Comment on ChatGPT part 2: let’s talk implications in ~tech
eladnarra LinkI think it's going to make search results worse. We already have a bunch of useless articles clogging up results. You can search "comparison of x and y" and find multiple top-level results that...I think it's going to make search results worse. We already have a bunch of useless articles clogging up results. You can search "comparison of x and y" and find multiple top-level results that are just... mindless.
X is a [thing]. Y is also a [thing]. Many people want to know the differences between x and y. There's more to it than you might think. On x you can [do thing]. On y you can [do thing]. So x and y are both [things] that can [do thing]. But x and y have some differences you should be aware of...
This kind of (likely AI) content is only going to become more common and easier to make convincing - but that doesn't mean it will be helpful information or accurate. It'll just be harder to separate the information you want from the information it makes up.
Some of the things I've seen coming out of GPTchat are kind of interesting, but they don't feel like they have any substance or memory to them, because they don't. Take this example of someone asking what the fastest marine mammal is. Not only does it first offer a bird and then a fish, once you "teach" it that those aren't mammals, it promptly forgets and suggests the same bird again. It also tries to "justify" itself like a troll on Reddit, essentially making up reasons why it chose a bird or a fish despite them not meeting the qualifications that the AI itself states a mammal must have.
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Comment on Timasomo 2022: Showcase Thread in ~creative.timasomo
eladnarra LinkA month later, and I published my little webpage of links! It didn't take long to do, so I probably could have finished it for Timasomo? If I hadn't been too tired. I've got a fair bit of things I...A month later, and I published my little webpage of links! It didn't take long to do, so I probably could have finished it for Timasomo? If I hadn't been too tired.
I've got a fair bit of things I want to edit, but it's nice to have it up there. Maybe next year I'll do a project in the allotted time, but if not, I'm okay working on crip time.
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Comment on Activision’s faulty anti-cheat software in ~games
eladnarra LinkThis is really shitty, and also an accessibility nightmare. Every time I play a multiplayer game with assistive tech, I worry about getting caught by some sort of system like this. I'm not good at...This is really shitty, and also an accessibility nightmare. Every time I play a multiplayer game with assistive tech, I worry about getting caught by some sort of system like this. I'm not good at things like Destiny 2, and using voice commands and pedals makes my reaction times even slower than they'd be with a keyboard and mouse, but there's always the vague threat of being caught "automating" something just because I'm not physically pressing a key.
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Comment on Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of November 28 in ~health.coronavirus
eladnarra LinkI posted these links in the China thread, but figured I'd put them here, too. I didn't realize that both CDC maps had been this de-emphasized - the main page only tells you the Community Level one...I posted these links in the China thread, but figured I'd put them here, too. I didn't realize that both CDC maps had been this de-emphasized - the main page only tells you the Community Level one county at time (and of course no Transmission Level at all).
As of today (December 2, 2022), the CDC map links are:
- Original Transmission Levels - based on percent positive and case rates, which are related to how likely you'll encounter someone who has COVID when in public.
- Newer Community Levels - also includes hospitalizations and other metrics, which often results in a lower level than the original.
They're on the same page; there's a drop down you can use to pick between them and other metrics, if the specific links don't work.
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Comment on Protesters openly urge Xi to resign over China Covid curbs in ~health
eladnarra (edited )Link ParentDang, I didn't realize the maps had been that de-emphasized - I see what you mean, their main page only tells you one county at time. As of December 2, 2022, the map links are: Original...Dang, I didn't realize the maps had been that de-emphasized - I see what you mean, their main page only tells you one county at time.
As of December 2, 2022, the map links are:
They're on the same page; there's a drop down you can use to pick between them and other metrics, if the specific links don't work. (Kind of funny that the link to the original map calls it "risk" type.)
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Comment on Denmark's long Covid patients feel abandoned by pandemic response in ~health
eladnarra LinkIt's sad that you could basically replace Denmark in the headline with any county and still be able to write an article.It's sad that you could basically replace Denmark in the headline with any county and still be able to write an article.
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Comment on Why Andor feels so real in ~tv
eladnarra Link ParentIt's amazing. I'm a Star Wars fan so I'm biased, but it's also much more complex and meaningful than the Mandolorian ever could be. I thought I was done with Star Wars after The Rise of Skywalker,...It's amazing. I'm a Star Wars fan so I'm biased, but it's also much more complex and meaningful than the Mandolorian ever could be. I thought I was done with Star Wars after The Rise of Skywalker, but damn, Star Wars is political (again).
I also recommend a podcast called A More Civilized Age. Originally a show where four folks watch Clone Wars and talk about it, they temporarily switched to weekly episodes about Andor, and listening to their episodes after watching Andor adds a lot to the experience (imo). For someone like me who can't get enough of Andor, it's great!
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Comment on Protesters openly urge Xi to resign over China Covid curbs in ~health
eladnarra (edited )Link ParentThe CDC provides a map of COVID levels by county. Until earlier this year, the levels (low, medium, substantial, and high) were based on a combination of test positivity % (how many people who get...The CDC provides a map of COVID levels by county. Until earlier this year, the levels (low, medium, substantial, and high) were based on a combination of test positivity % (how many people who get PCR tests actually test positive) and number of recent cases. This is helpful for understanding how likely you were to encounter someone in public who has COVID; I use it a lot because I'm higher risk and trying to avoid infection.
However, the new map the CDC uses ("Community Levels") also includes other factors such as hospitalization rates, which for some reason often has the effect of decreasing the risk level. For example, when I checked recently, my county was "low" on the new map but "substantial" on the old transmission map. While the CDC says that the new map is better at predicting what conditions will be in 3 weeks, in my opinion it also makes current conditions seem better than they are. Hospitalization is a lagging indicator - it takes time for people to get sick enough to be hospitalized. But I'm less concerned about how likely it is that more people will be hospitalized in 3 weeks - when I'm deciding whether to go to a doctor appointment or stay home, I'm more concerned about current transmission, which is what the old map more accurately shows.
Many people in the disability community have criticized the new map, often calling it the "green map" because it will very often show most counties as "low" across the board. The old map exists on the CDC website, but it's harder to find, and it has a big warning at the top that it should only be used by health professionals and health facilities. When masking was required in health facilities, they were supposed to keep using the old map to dictate when to require masks. (In my experience, even doctors often used the newer map, meaning they stopped requiring masks before they should have.)
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Comment on Protesters openly urge Xi to resign over China Covid curbs in ~health
eladnarra Link ParentWell, yeah - unfortunately since most countries didn't pursue a no-COVID strategy at any point, there's no longer any hope of an end. We've let it run rampant, killing people and destroying many...Well, yeah - unfortunately since most countries didn't pursue a no-COVID strategy at any point, there's no longer any hope of an end. We've let it run rampant, killing people and destroying many people's health (making them more susceptible to subsequent infections), and let it mutate to the point vaccines are less effective and many treatments no longer work at all. (Reading the utter despair from immunocompromised folks talking about their isolation as preventative antibody treatments wane in effectiveness is... heartbreaking.)
We will never (in the West) go into "lockdown" again, and in the US we never really did in the first place. Many of us who have been on lockdown for nearly 3 years, those of us with the weird combination of vulnerability (chronic illness and disability) and privilege (homeschooling, work from home, economic means), expect this to be our lives for the foreseeable future; and the people who are high risk but can't isolate have long accepted they will have to risk their lives in order to work/access medical care/survive on the short term, with no end in sight.
So at what point do we decide that the immediate problems that come with shutting everything down for weeks at a time every couple of months in perpetuity are outweighed by the more vague problems that come with not doing that?
That's a good question, and I'm pretty cynical about it - I'm pretty sure there won't ever be a point where people in charge recognize the damage done (and still being done). Death and hospitalization are certainly important, but the other reason they get paid attention to is that it's harder to hide them. Long COVID can be dismissed as mental health (like CFS/ME, fibromyalgia, POTS, and MS before it). Increases in heart disease and diabetes in people with COVID infections can be safely ignored because they don't affect everyone. Recent links between certain illnesses (like mono and MS) will be dismissed because it hasn't been long enough to "prove" that COVID is capable of causing long term issues.
I've seen some disabled/chronically ill people say that there must be some point where the level of death and disability will overwhelm the system, and people will have to take notice. But people in charge are disincentivized to do so, because then they'd be admitting they missed the signs and the medical research.
For example, the CDC recently published a study that showed that people who recently had COVID vastly underestimate the level of community transmission in their area; but if they know more about it, they are more willing to take preventative measures, such as getting boosters. A lot of people on social media pointed out the hypocrisy of this - the CDC now actively hides community transmission information from the public behind their new "community levels," and yet here they're admitting that people would choose to protect themselves more if they had more accurate information. But if the study had been more forceful about this connection, I doubt it would ever have made the light of day. The CDC can't outright admit that they have contributed to gaslighting people into taking less precautions than they otherwise would - that's political and career suicide.
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Comment on Protesters openly urge Xi to resign over China Covid curbs in ~health
eladnarra (edited )Link ParentI'm really glad your employer has been flexible, but I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. People really don't know how bad this stuff can be... I hope you see improvement in your symptoms [EDIT:...I'm really glad your employer has been flexible, but I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. People really don't know how bad this stuff can be...
I hope you see improvement in your symptoms
[EDIT: somehow I posted before I finished, but that's the gist anyway; of course I hope that you recover completely, and soon, but at least personally I find that a bit difficult to hear - so I settle for improvement. :) ]
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Comment on Protesters openly urge Xi to resign over China Covid curbs in ~health
eladnarra Link ParentFair enough! I am in a bit of an echo chamber, so long COVID is where my brain always goes. I don't think that it was the initial reason for any lockdowns, but I still think it could be a factor...Fair enough! I am in a bit of an echo chamber, so long COVID is where my brain always goes. I don't think that it was the initial reason for any lockdowns, but I still think it could be a factor in recent ones.
I do want to mention, though, that some of us knew about long COVID very close to the start of the pandemic. While politicians and most medical scientists didn't know about long COVID at the beginning, doctors who study this area and disabled folks, particularly some folks with post viral illnesses, were sounding the alarm during the first few months of the pandemic. People pointed to studies with prior SARS outbreaks where 1/3 of patients ended up with long term symptoms, and even Dr. Fauci recognized in interviews that summer that some people would likely end up with CFS/ME.
The problem is that people vastly underestimate the prevalence and severity of post viral illnesses [or they attribute symptoms to mental health causes], so the possibility was initially overlooked, and even when it became more recognized it never became a reason to protect people. We still only care about acute deaths and hospitalizations.
Well, I watched it, and I still feel the same way. In fact, it seemed worse than I imagined. The episode clearly shows multiple instances of Frank doing things differently than he used to due to his disability (using a wheelchair instead of running, painting in a more abstract way, eating a liquid diet and using a straw), which implies that he's decided his life isn't worth living anymore because of these changes.
These are changes people live through and adapt to every day. I fucking love my wheelchair. I miss playing viola, but my energy limitations led to me discovering slow crafts like making zines and embroidery. I can't cook, but I help my partner think up ideas for meals. I can't go for regular walks, but I get so much joy from sitting out on the porch every morning and listening to the birds.
It's intensely upsetting to watch people live a life like mine, or like other disabled people's lives, and for it to be a reasonable, sensible thing that they decided to die.
Disabled and disability aren't bad words. I'm a disabled person. It's not my only identity, but it impacts every part of my life. In describing Frank as disabled, I wasn't saying that was his only identity - that was entirely your interpretation.